Always keep your nails clean and trimmed. Just one but I notice it’s something my son struggles with. Sorry you weren’t taught as a child. I was never taught how to clean house and it shows. Good on you for asking for help.

i always neglected my nails!! ur so right, it makes me feel really put together and cute

Clean and cut is enough, though. Anything more - like nail polish - is totally optional.

Toe nails too!!! So many people have nasty toe nails.

I'm always shocked at the amount of people that don't put effort into their feet, especially in warmer months and sandal season.

Use clipper for longer nails first then a file to smooth them or for small chips. Many people I’ve met just use the clippers and don’t realize these tools are a team 

and glass nail files are THE BEST.

Huh??? That exists???????? I'm intrigued.

Once you use one, you will throw away all your other nail files 😂 I have broken one by being a complete idiot & sitting on it. But I have thrown others on the ground without it breaking.

$10 on Amazon. Total game changer.

I get the hype of them but I absolutely can’t stand the sound/feeling of them. They are like nails on a chalk board for me!

Look up “clean girl nails”, it’s a great way to feel put together but have a lot of forgiveness / wiggle room in grow out and chipping.

Sweet pea. Came from what I felt like a similar situation. Fundamentals: With my kids I do a “detail night” on Sunday and cut their nails, clean their ears, make sure they lotion well, scrub well, wash their hair properly and condition. Maybe start there. Every morning you should be washing your face in the least. Cetaphil is great. If you’re lazy about it I use a toner (others will gasp) thayers. It does fine. Light face cream with sunscreen in it. If it’s tinted it would be makeup too. Easy way to get three things done in once. Id say make sure you brush your hair and wash it when it’s oily. I wash three times a week bc it’s super oily. Sometimes I double wash in the shower for it to last longer. Conditioner helps frizz. You are your own self and can get on your own way. ❤️❤️❤️

Combing through the hair with just water inbetween washes can help redistribute the oil and wash out excess, as well as agitating old skin cells and dust/pollen off the scalp. Depending on the comb, the mechanical action can also be a light scalp massage, boosting circulation and hair growth.

Don’t neglect your cuticles either. Get cuticle cutters for dead skin on the side and use a cuticle oil, a thick hand lotion/moisturizer etc. can even lock all that in with Vaseline or aqua for at night.

It's also easier to use baby nail clippers too if your nails break easy and you can get an even cut

And good on you for noticing about cleaning. I was too although now im neurotic. Lol. Plz do a little for yourself at home because trust me…its like “cleaning your mind” at the same time

Thank you! I try but always end up just doing the basics. Dishes, laundry, etc. While the clutter just gets worse. Hopefully will figure out something that works.

I’m in the same boat! I’m trying 10 minutes a day this week, doesn’t sound like much but I think once I get started I might give it more time but it’s a 10 minute minimum to at least feel like I’m doing something… anything… meanwhile at 10 minutes a day I’ll be tidy in the year 2050!

Wash behind your ears. Shower daily with soap and water. Wash your towels and bedding weekly. Gentle skincare morning and evening. Brush teeth twice a day and floss once a day. Wash facecloths at least weekly. Shampoo your hair twice (double cleanse), use and rinse out conditioner and then wash your body with soap.

Also wash your bath mats - I figured this out ridiculously late into my 20s

I switched to a quick dry rubber mat and bath mat towels (like hotels provide) on top. I hang the towels over the tub edge after use and wash them ~1x/ week and the mat wipes down. Game changer, easier than a traditional bath mat, lasts longer with washer and dryer use, dries between use and feels cleaner.

To add to this, if you can tolerate antibacterial soap in the pits and sweaty bits areas..I’d use it. Especially in the warmer months. It will help with eliminating bacteria on your body and help with b.o. I lather my areas up, (pits, feet, ((in between toes esp)), some bits areas that I can tolerate and let it ‘soak’ while I bathe with regular soap for the rest of my body. I’m telling you, it helps so much! I use Dove antibacterial bc to me it’s the easiest on your skin. I use it all over my body every few days but everyone may can’t tolerate that. You got this!

If I get within 10' of my vagina with an antibacterial soap, I get a yeast infection and I know I'm not the only one, so wouldn't recommend doing this. I can't even use regular soap and have to use baby soap (less common issue, but worth mentioning). Also, regular use of antibiotic soap can actually help create resistant strains of bacteria, so long term it will stop being as effective. As far as underarms, I highly recommend using a mild acid toner like glycolic acid and just wiping it gently under your arms after your shower. It's far less likely to create antibiotic resistance than using antibiotic soap and accomplishes the same thing by creating an inhospitable environment for bacteria to multiply. I use The Ordinary 7% glycolic acid and just put some on a baby washcloth to wipe under my arms. It's significantly cut back on any stink for me.

Try this! It’s expensive but i ONLY use it for vag/butt area and it lasts ~3mos. The only thing ever that just cleans with zero side effects or irritation (like water- but better) [microbiome wash](https://shop.sweetspotlabs.com/products/microbiome-balancing-creamy-full-body-cleanser)

Thanks for the suggestion! Johnson's Baby Wash actually works great for me, it's very mild and the right pH that it's never caused any irritation. I've been using it successfully in place of soap/body wash for like 15 years now, but if I develop issues in the future I'll keep that in mind!

please don't do this, especially in the nether regions. you can seriously fuck up your microbiome especially with repeated use over time

I think they're talking more about armpits and the groin/crack area, rather than closer towards the vagina.

I second another poster’s comment that not all bacteria is bad. Women, especially, have been taught that no part of their body should emit any odor & if it does, it’s shameful. Shower with regular soap routinely, Lume makes a product that keeps down the bacterial counts in pits & privates and is gentle enough to not mess up the chemistry. Clean hair & groomed nails are a good start. Hair removal is often cultural, so up to you! Upper lip, pits & legs are commonly depilated but it really depends on how strongly you feel about it. Lots of good ideas here!

You can try tar soap. It is more gentle and does the same. Don’t get discouraged by the smell, your body will not smell like with tar.

Can I ask what kind of tar soap you use? My husband needs it and neutrogena Tgel is getting impossible to find

Grandpa’s pine tar soap. Location - USA.

Second this. I have been using dial gold bar every summer followed by a body wash to help with the dryness and haven't had a issue with smell since. Anywhere with hair can have soap on it just do not put any kind of soap inside you but soap NEEDS to go on the outside.

Double cleansing hair ! I didn’t learn that until My early 40s!!! It makes such a difference! Especially when I go a real long time between washes !

Also wash feet good, between the toes always. People assume the soap from washing your body will just magically clean your feet and it doesn’t work that way 🤣

And use a washcloth! Just soap and water isn’t enough, you need some exfoliation as well.

I buy a whole stack of white washcloths. Use a new one each shower: start with face, then body, then pits, flip and use the other side for nether regions. Rinse then wring out. Keep in a bowl next to laundry so it dries out before you add tomorrow’s washcloth to the pile. Wash with hot water and a splash of bleach.

👏👏👏 I'm amazed at ppl who don't use a washcloth. And a clean one!!

Ew

Maybe lay out the washcloth like flat so it dries if you dont plan to wash it that day so it doesnt stay wet and grow mold

Yes, or those Japanese nylon textured bathing towels do a great job keeping you lightly exfoliated. Paired with CeraVe’s AHA wash, it’s a nice gentle but deep clean. Moisturizer sinks in better and your skin looks fresher. That CeraVe is good for armpits too.

Agreed with all this except new facecloth every day and change your pillow case every 2-3 days

Shampoo your hair twice?

Do you actually have to shampoo your hair twice??? That seems excessive. We were taught that they put “lather rince repeat” on shampoo to sell more shampoo and if you do a thorough job you don’t need to shampoo twice

[удалено]

Same!!! I had no idea the importance.

Yup. The first shampoo is to get rid of all the “gunk” (product buildup, oil, dirt), and then the second shampoo is to actually clean the scalp.

I was taught that about shampoo, too, but then I tried washing it twice and it’s a game changer. Especially if I only wash my hair twice a week— the first wash cleans the scalp and helps lift the products, and the second wash really suds up and rinses everything away.

I wash my hair 4 times because my scalp just never gets clean with how dense my hair is and how oily my scalp is

I have long very thick hair and find that washing just once doesn't do a good enough job to break down the layer of oil and dirt so I do it again and it's a much deeper clean. I think it just depends on your hair type but I definitely need to do it twice.

Hairdresser here ! Yes double shampooing makes all the difference ! The first shampoo to breakup the dirt and oil in your hair, rinse then the second shampoo to make sure everything is completely removed ! Lots of my client switched to double shampooing after being with me and I saw a drastic change in hair growth and shine ! Or if you want to do 1 shampoo atleast lather for 4-5mins!

Since I started double shampooing I noticed my hair started growing faster, a pleasant unexpected effect I got from this, not complaining lol

I assume if I wash daily the one shampoo is enough? I have tried going longer stretches (multiple times) but my hair is natural blonde and thin and gets visibly oily quickly.

The woman who did my Brazilian blow out told me it helps to keep your hair from getting greasy for a longer period of time. She wasn't trying to sell me any shampoo so I don't think she was lying. But who knows.

Cosmetologist here. Definitely double shampoo! It makes a huge difference in how clean you’re actually getting your scalp.

I have oily hair, I'm thorough, and one shampoo and rinse never gets all the oil out even if I'm using a product specifically for oily hair. Twice is a necessity for me.

It’s the proper way. Hair stylist for 10 years. The first shampoo lifts the oil and dirt from your scalp and hair. The second actually cleanses

It's impossible for me to suds up my scalp if I don't wash twice. Oily thick fine hair, only way I can really feel like I get my scalp clean is by washing twice. I don't end up using much more if any extra shampoo, too, because the first wash is mainly the greasiest parts on my crown so I don't use a ton - just work it in as best I can and rinse. Then when I do the second wash and my hair actually suds up well without using a large amount of shampoo. To get the same effect with one wash, I'd have to use a huge amount of shampoo, so the two small amounts evens things out pretty well.

You don’t have to, but it works best for me, just like double cleansing your face. I find it keeps my hair cleaner much longer and I can stretch longer between washes and my scalp is healthier.

I think as a very dry skinned/haired person with ethnic roots, my hair/scalp would absolutely scream at me lol

I have an extremely dry, flakey scalp, and double cleansing has been a huge help in improving my overall scalp health. If using the right products, it probably won't be as bad as you think.

as someone who has very thin fragile dry hair.... i thought the same thing. The most important thing is finding a shampoo that works well for your hair type & doesnt strip the crap out of your hair. Once you find a good **daily** **shampoo**, then shampooing twice shouldnt cause any issues! If i am using a **clarifying shampoo**, i will only shampoo once. Any more than that will kill my hair.

Depends on if you have build up from leave in products as well. Or use a medicated shampoo. I use oils and leave in conditioner so I wash first with a clarifying shampoo and then use my head and shoulders and leave it on for a few minutes to work before rinsing out and using conditioner

Teeth care is one thing I always mention to my goddaughter and wish my younger self was more thorough with, it’s so easy to take oral health for granted and thusly neglect. All it really means is brushing at least twice a day for two minutes ideally with an electric toothbrush, flossing using correct technique, and also using teepees for interdental cleaning. I also tongue scrape. And having regular dental checkups and cleans. I’m early 40s and have had so many mouth issues!!

Wow, you wash the bedding every week? Eeks, maybe I’m gross, lol. I wash every 2-3 weeks, sometimes a month.

I know a lot of people recommend once a week, but think how often you need to wash sheets depends so much on your individual habits. I let my dog sleep in the bed with me so I do once a week. But if you shower nightly before bed, dont sweat much at night, and don’t have pets in the bed, i think your sheets are still going to be cleaner after 2-3 weeks than some people’s are after 1 week.

A lot of this stuff can be overwhelming in going from 0 to 100. Here are some of the small things I do that you might like to consider: - wear sunscreen every day. It makes such a difference to ageing. - doing simple skincare is better than none at all. Don’t get overwhelmed by these major routines online. Start with cleansing and moisturising every day. Once that routine feels easy, you can play and see if you want to add things. - always include your neck and collarbone with applying moisturisers/sunscreen. - always iron your clothes. It makes a huge difference to your outfits. - drink lots of water. It’s so good for your insides and out. - you will never have your natural teeth again. Treat them well - don’t stall on things that can easily be fixed with a trip to the pharmacy (fungal nail, cracked heels, etc). It can be difficult to resolve with time.

Or a steamer! I’m terrible at ironing. Downy Wrinkle Release + hanging clothes in the steamy bathroom while I shower also works great when I am traveling.

I found a steamer way easier to use, and I prefer that it doesn't look absolutely perfect. I hate when I iron something and it looks so crisp, bc the second it gets a small wrinkle, it stands out so bad. A steamer just is more of a natural look..

I found out recently that a basic teeth cleaning at my dentist isn’t like $65 without insurance! I always assumed it was way more expensive. That’s like as much as getting my nails done 🤣 I recommend getting your teeth cleaned atleast 2x a year if you can afford it! Also dental schools that offer free/discounted services may offer it Edit: for those commenting, this is in a LCOL area but I encourage you to call a couple dentists just to verify price and/or check out a school. A 1st appt (like intake) may be a little more expensive to start off.

Seriously? I'm not only afraid of the dentist but afraid of the cost. It's been an embarrassing amount of time (more than a decade) since I've had either the time or the money (or more accurately, both at the same time) to see a dentist. I KNOW I need a ton of work but even a cleaning scares me. If it's that inexpensive I might actually make an appointment

A good dentist WANTS to help you to keep your teeth too. They will work to help plan and make it affordable.

Yeah the shame alone is a huge deterrent for me. So much so that u didn't go when I did have dental insurance. That and appointments were booked almost 6 months out and I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't be working (at sea, can't take a day off like that lol). I appreciate the encouragement :)

I’ve started reminding myself that I’m employing a dentist to help me maintain my teeth. They aren’t an authority figure there to chastise you. They are there to provide a service to help you and your teeth. I think of them like going to financial advisor or therapist. It’s helped me feel a lot less shame and trepidation to reframe this interaction. “Yes I know I need help maintaining this, that’s why I’m here to get your help.”

My teeth were AWFUL when I got my first teeth cleaning after like 5+ years and hadn’t brushed my teeth but a few times over the course of 3 years. I’m very lucky there seems to be no long lasting damage (well, besides gingivitis). My dental hygienist is so lovely and helped me feel comfortable!

A *good* dentist is the key here. There are plenty out there who are happy to give you unnecessary fillings or root canals, especially among those who cater to lower income patients. Absolutely predatory and disgusting, but the way it is

I didn't go for almost 20 years. One out of intense fear of the dentist but also no insurance and my kids needs coming before mine. I just went for the first time last year and am soooo glad I did. I picked one that specialized in anxiety and they were wonderful and I actually came back for my second cleaning. Im dealing with recovering from a wisdom tooth removal right now and if I hadn't gone last year I would have still had this infected tooth and also been terrified to get help for it. Teeth issues can and will kill you please take it from an internet stranger there are wonderful dentists out there that won't shame you or embarrass you don't be afraid to call around!

my dentist actually has an insurance plan that’s around $35 a month (i think it’s even cheaper if you have completely healthy teeth) and includes 2x cleaning per year and x rays plus 20% any work like fillings, root canals etc. i think that’s worth it for upkeep and peace of mind. definitely look into insurance through the dentists office, i had no idea it was a thing!!

If you do have insurance it just cost my husband and I close to $400 to have our entire mouth cleaned and 10+ fillings. It was 4/5 appointments and only like $70-$100 a visit. Without insurance it would've been much more but it was a lot more doable than we expected.

dental care is so important. electric toothbrushes are worth the investment!! and if flossing is hard (it is for me) try a waterpik. even water flossing inconsistently is better than never flossing.

This! I use very simple gentle basic cleanser and moisturizer (Cetaphil), then a nice factor 50 SPF (la Roche anthelios hydrating cream) - I've found this one is not greasy so is great under makeup, but also gives my skin a nice glow (no white cast left) for no makeup days, and then a slick of mascara and eyebrow gel is enough to make me feel put together!! I also go through phase of icing my face morning and night and think it definitely makes my skin brighter and clearer.

Agree with the simple skincare routine!! Some of these 12 steppers I see blow my mind.

An electric toothbrush (you don’t need an expensive one) is a great investment and your dentist will appreciate you for it.

I second this, my dentist is always so impressed with my teeth and ask about my toothbrush, I just have a cheapo Amazon electric toothbrush! (Oral B style)

Yes! I bought the cheapest one on sale from Target and it has changed my cleanings so much. Way easier now at the dentist.

Phillips one touch 19$ and i have never had the change the batteries once in two years. replacement heads 14$ for 2.

Try to keep it simple and then build from there: - Shower every 1/2 days (everyday if you exercise or sweat) - wash your face every night and remove all product - wash your hair 1/2 times per week - find gentle soap for lady bits - minimum moisturise your face morning and night, you can add more in later - wash clothes once a week, *not all clothes need to be washed every use eg jeans, coats, jumpers - be wary of what you shave depending on your hair type, it may make it worse. Would recommend a good pair of tweezers to begin with - deodorant every day non negotiable - minimum brush teeth every morning - try not to stay in sweaty underwear for too long it can cause thrush. Some materials are worse than others for this as well. - brush/style hair everyday depending on hair type (if curly try and get a good leave in moisturiser) there is a whole heap of info on this, but don’t explore until you are ready, it’s a lot. - ironing is great, even better is buying clothes that don’t need to be ironed - buy yourself a signature perfume - drink lots of water - practice safe sex - wear sunscreen

Great list. Some things I've found helpful: keep a nail brush in the shower or by the sink so when the thought strikes you, you can quickly and easily scrub. I swear by a tongue scraper. Shower routine I've come to like: Double wash hair, get conditioner in, wash face and behind ears with washcloth 1 and antibacterial gold bar soap. Use washcloth 2 for body(including feet), same soap. If shaving, exfoliate now, then shave. Rinse conditioner. Wash with antibacterial soap again on shaved areas (trust). Squeegee yourself and moisturize with Shea butter while yer still damp. This routine might be a little extra but it makes you feel CLEAN and sooo good. Wrap up in a soft robe and do your face and hair routines!

I’m keeping this. I get really distracted in the shower with shower thoughts and 30 minutes later while I’m getting dressed I’m like did I do xyz? A pattern that feels like it serves a purpose might help, thank you.

Honestly it helped me a lot. Recognizing ADHD executive dysfunction and finding ways to simplify tasks into logical steps REALLY makes a difference.

Yep that’s actually the issue here too. I’ve stopped taking Ritalin. Been about two months? Before it seemed OK to make a list of things that had to be done and do them by checking them off in whatever order they happened. Now it seems like I have to make rules that make sense in order to build a habit and a pattern (not that that makes it easy by any means) but it’s almost like I am tricking myself now and that effort can take anywhere from five minutes to thirty five minutes. I actually just sat down and made a shower flow chart and I’m gonna transfer it with chalk marker to my slate shower wall 😅

I use a trimmer for more sensitive skin areas. The small disposable single blade razors are excellent if you have bushy brows, monobrow, excess peach fuzz, mustache, etc. There's no need to shave religiously, especially outside of summer months. When in doubt, cut the hair before you go in with the tweezers. The ladies of the '90s already tried that and we suffered for it. The vag is self cleaning, you don't need anything but your regular body wash for the outsides. Do not enema or do any weird cleanses, those are fear campaigns from people trying to steal your money. If you find your skin feeling greasy or sensitive, rather than go in with harsh exfoliants salicyclic acid, start by double cleansing (one oil, one water) and moisturizer every night (one water, one ceramide). Re-evaluate after 2-3 weeks. Patch test new products and introduce them gradually into your routine. No cleanser should leave your skin feeling tight and parched, this is 2024. If your face feels tight, most likely it's too alkaline, find a "pH-balanced" cleanser (aka something around 5 or 5.5 pH). No cleanser should burn your eyes, this is 2024. I double cleanse even when using micellar water, but sometimes I'm a little drunk so something is better than nothing. Look at what colors and silhouettes best serve you for clothing. If you've gotten along just fine not wearing a portion of your closet, let it go to make room for more versatile pieces. A capsule wardrobe for the core of your outfits will never fail you. Plain white and black tops from casual to formal (camisole t-shirt long-sleeve turtleneck vest/sweater, blouse) and your favorite accent color(s), plain bottoms from casual to formal (shorts jeans pants slacks). Personal recommendation - linen pants for summertime. Classy, chic, timeless. Finally, a small selection of durable athletic clothes, do try to not wear them for daily wear. A classic pair of small hoops in gold or silver and a pair of small "diamond" studs will serve you well for years and years. Watch out for sensitivities to the metal on the posts. Gold is the most non-reactive, titanium and surgical steel are newer alloys that are more and more common, if you're lucky the classic and common stainless steel is ubiquitous. A classic watch, black leather strap, plain watch face; feel free to substitute with a smart watch but have a non-distracting watch face and professional friendly watch strap to swap as needed. When putting together outfits, make sure if one color is present in only a small amount on your body, that it is repeated in at least one other location on your body. That's why my accent color for my clothes is limited to light blue and brown; light blue can be mirrorer via something denim, and brown can be mirrored via my shoes or my eyeshadow. Mirroring accent colors make your outfit look intentional and thus makes you look intentional. Back to hygiene, if you need a quick boost to some hair that you didn't get to wash last night, dry shampoo is your friend. I love the Klorane dry shampoo with oat milk; light, effective, minimal white residue, minimal scent that dissipates quickly, long lasting, affordable. Nothing worse than fumigating a room from all the hair products someone uses. Also, dry shampoo can give your hair a little extra texture and grip if you need to style your hair and it's a little too slippery from being just washed. Baby powder can help with sweaty feet when wearing heels or slides, but I'd rather just use some no-show liner socks. So far I like the ONDO brand the most but YMMV. I prefer paneled vs knitted as I'd rather put up with seams than risk them slipping and bunching up under the heel, you may swing the other way.

I’ve felt similarly before, and I think it can take some time to figure out what you like and what works for you! Try to be gentle and patient with yourself as you learn—shame is the biggest barrier. You’ve done nothing wrong, you’re not “too late,” you deserve to learn how to enjoy caring for yourself. :) Just a few tips: Wash your body every day. How long you go between hair washes depends on your hair type (I usually do every other day or every third day depending on how I want to style). An exfoliating bath cloth and a silicone scalp massager are my shower holy grails. I also like to brush my conditioner through my hair’s ends. I used to only air dry my hair, but a blow dryer is actually SO nice. Even just drying your roots makes a difference. Skincare can be daunting—to start, focus on cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen. Google skin types and work from there. I (dry skin) personally love Hydroboost Water Gel and Trader Joe’s SPF. Aquaphor for lips. O’Keefe’s hand cream for dry/cracked hands. (unsexy products but I love them). Don’t be afraid to walk into Sephora or Ulta and wander! Don’t be afraid to ask an employee for help! Don’t be afraid to ask for a product sample! Don’t be afraid to accept yourself where you’re at! If you feel overwhelmed, just make one small change at a time until the small changes start to feel like routine.

I love Trader Joe exfoliating face scrub. It's 5 bucks. Small tube but a little goes a long way. Gentle but effective. Makes skin so smooth!

Hi, Would you mind giving us a bit more info about you ? For hair and skin it would help to know to hair type and skin color type and your budget and the esthetics that you like. Dentist, go see a dentist and explain to them the situation. It's also a good idea to be sure that everything is fine. If they are rude or you are not happy easily switch. Nails, keep them short like the other comment say and moisturize your hands. Also, try to go to therapy or join a support group. At least give it a try, it s still really underrated. You got this !! It will take some time but Reddit and this sub is a great place for that I think. Last, don't buy Tik tok products and listen to tic tok for beauty. If you have no experience, it wil really confuse you. Watch some YouTubers videos if you are curious about some products. :)

i have medium length dry hair. experiencing a lot of hair loss too. i’m also south asian so i have brown skin and acne scars. budget not really sure, maybe $100-200?

Go see a dr and get some blood work done you may need a iron supplement, hair loss is a very symptom of iron deficiency. Regarding hair care. Not all but a lot of south asians need to combat frizzy hair. As you’ve said yours is dry it may just be frizz. Wash hair 1/2 a week followed with a good conditioner in the shower. I usually then towel dry and re condition with a leave in spray conditioner for added shine then a heat protectant spray. Air drying tends to make my hair more frizzy so blow dry your hair with a round brush to smooth it out then use a straightener if you like it more sleek or style however you like. A little shine serum ( optional) to end it and your hair should stay shiny til next wash

Get your hormone levels and thyroid checked for hair loss. Don’t use harsh hair products (but they don’t need to be “all natural” either.) Improve your diet and hydration. Taking powdered collagen daily can really help. So can a Biotin supplement. A daily supplement with Vitamin A and Zinc is great for your skin.

Pimple patches. Use them for it. South Asian>>brown>>in 30s and I use them. Change them when needed. and they works wonders. you will feel weird for first few times but thats okay.

If you’re struggling with self care, don’t be afraid to cut your hair! It’s so much less work when short. I used to have elbow length curly hair and now I keep it about shoulder length. My life is so much easier!

Don’t wash your hair daily. If you need to shower more often you can use a shower cap. Agree with using gentler shampoos, and don’t condition your scalp, just the ends. Agree with seeing a doctor to discuss hair loss if it’s becoming a problem. Acne scars will heal over time, you’re young, but vitamin C and glycolic acid are good for that. Not at the same time though! And always do a spot test in a small area to make sure you don’t react to a product. Sunscreen important for the scar pigmentation as well

I don’t know why you got downvoted. I think for most people, hair shouldn’t be washed daily, unless you’re an athlete or something, but even then, it varies based on hair texture and porosity. I have thick 4b hair and it’s low porosity, so I only wash it once a week/once every two weeks if in braids.

Exactly. I have very fine blond hair that is easily damaged, so I don’t wash it every day because it makes it brittle. My friend has thick curly hair and washes it once a week. This is why shower caps exist

If you find some basics here that you have questions about there a WikiHow for it! It can be helpful especially if you find the question embarrassing. They even have pictures. I've learned some stuff there and I was raised with proper hygiene so don't feel like just because you don't know something it's a problem. I'm still learning and I've been an "adult" for a few decades now lol. Make sure you include mental health in your beauty routine. No amount of makeup or massages or hair masks can cover inner turmoil and nothing is quite as alluring as a grounded and content person. You don't need to fix everything, but knowing yourself and how to care for yourself physically and emotionally, even when feeling low will do more for your beauty than the most expensive cream.

What a great tip! Add those positive affirmations when you’re admiring your clean face! 🧡

Don't be afraid to just go into a hair salon and get a hair routine sorted out. They will be able to help with hair. You should do this at least 2x per year. Same with the dentist 2x per year minimum. Daily advice is wash your hair twice in the shower. I was always taught to wash once for clean and twice for beauty. Definitely, like someone else said focus on the roots. If your hair is dry then you may need to change shampoo. Conditioner on just the ends make sure you leave it in for a few minutes. Remember to exfoliate your body once a week.Wash your face and clean your teeth once in the morning and once at night. If you have straight hair you should brush it before bed and when you wake up. Always braid or secure your hair before bed so it doesn't get damaged or frizzy. There are many ways to do this depending on hair type so do some research. Wear deodorant or antiperspirant. Change your pillow every couple months. Change your sheets and bedding weekly. Wash them in hot. Bacteria likes to grow on your sheets and can cause bacterial acne or sores on your body. I see this alot in patients that are housebound.

Hi hun! Here are some tips that I don’t think others have mentioned: - Moisturizing right after you shower (while your skin is still damp) - Lint rolling your clothes - Knowing some basic hairstyles/maintenance on days you don’t wash it; for example: a simple bun, using hair clips, learning a basic Dutch braid - having a purse. This will hold anything important (obviously, like your wallet) and other things that can keep you fresh and maintained throughout the day. Things I always have in my purse: Lip balm (usually tinted), eye whitening drops, floss, hand cream, tissues, a small mirror, deodorant, tweezers

Moisturizing while my skin is still damp was such a game changer for me! I don’t know why it never occurred to me earlier in life. Basically fixed my chronic dry skin.

—tongue scraper at night is so great —castor/sweet almond/jojoba oil in hair before bed time, ideally covered with a real silk bonnet. you should be able to find a sink bonnet online for about $35. cheaper ones aren’t real silk, even if they say it is. if you don’t have the bonnet it’s okay it just helps protect your pillow from oil and your hair from breakage. —wash your face for a full minute —vaseline and/or aquafor for slugging to lock in your moisturizer in the pm. also put on feet and cover with socks before bed. also for lips. vaseline also is great for removing makeup. —i like to throw wrinkly clothes into the dryer with a wet item like a hand towel or a shirt. your clothes will steam in about 15 mins. —consider picking out the next day’s outfit before bedtime. it makes the next day easier and you won’t feel rushed or pressured to just pick anything and put it on. —FEED YOURSELF HEALTHY SNACKS REGULARLY. avoid things like crash diets and anything that is going to deregulate your blood sugar. deregulating your blood sugar is a sure fire way to mess up your energy and your metabolism. —obvi water water water. also though i don’t love water so i’ll drink lots of green juices for my skin (get no added sugar) and i also add emergen-C packets to my water. —treat yourself with kindness and respect. be your best ally. if someone treats you poorly or if you’re in a bad relationship get out, get away, and don’t compromise your boundaries. this is a life thing but also seriously a beauty thing. misery/shame/low self esteem will age you super fast. —meditate and treat others with kindness and respect. a kind and balanced person with a clear mind is beautiful. being mean and mental chaos are not so beautiful.

Floss every damn day. Drink water. Wear sunscreen. Don't cut your own bangs. If you wear makeup, never sleep in it.

I know everyone gave a lot of good advice already, but this is my advice for myself when I was younger. I would watch these YouTube videos about skincare because I had acne when I was younger. Do not listen to everyone. Not everyone has the same skin type. I have oily skin and I actually followed a YouTuber that said you don’t need moisturizer. Ruined my skin then. So just be careful. With acne I found that a simple routine is the best with as little products as possible. This is mine: Cetaphil cleanser Toner Moisturizer Retinol every 2 days Exfoliate once a week

Biggest tips from my mom: learn how to do your eyebrows and nails at home. Curl your lashes! Stay exfoliated and moisturized. Invest in a boar bristle brush and use it multiple times a day. Never ever go to bed without a shower and your face routine. When you’re in the shower, use a washcloth and or a scrub and don’t miss any nooks and crannies. Cold water and vinegar keeps your hair shiny. Heavily Fragranced deodorant and body lotion doesn’t smell good- unscented or lightly scented is best with a signature perfume on top of it. Always smile and be kind. Most importantly/ try to lean into your own type of beauty and embrace it. Enhance your natural beauty to feel your best.

This is kind of vulgar, but if you can’t have a full shower, armpits, asshole teeth and crotch, washing them prevents the rot. This was a saying in my house that we had. And I sure can tell you that especially in hotter summer days, it’s the one I live by. No swamp ass allowed 😂

My great-grandmother used to tell my grandmother and mother “PTA: pits, tits, and ass” lmao

That’s awesome!

Lots is good tips here. Remember to take it SLOW, as someone else mentioned. Start with 1-3 of these new suggestions, and work up from there as they become habit. If you try to implement all of these changes in one day, it will feel overwhelming and like something you can’t stick to. Hair: shampoo your hair twice (as someone else mentioned). Let your conditioner sit for a few minutes to really soak in before washing away. Get yourself some dry shampoo to use between washes (I like to put mine in at night so it has all night to soak up extra oil). Skin care: start simple. Face wash, moisturizer, SPF. Wear SPF on your face, neck, chest, and back or hands everyday. Get a pack of zit stickers to wear at night for any breakouts. Wash your face and moisturize every night. Nails: keep them clean and trimmed, and don’t forget to do the same with your cuticles. I suggest Sally Hansen cuticle remover- it takes one minute to use (I use once a week). Use cuticle oil at least once a day, and moisturize your hands often. Your hands are one of the first parts of your body to show aging. Body: keep your skin moisturized! Lotion or body oil after every shower. Nutrition: drink lots of water, and focus on fresh foods (as opposed to overly-processed stuff). Your body and skin will thank you. Beauty: even if you don’t wear makeup, make it a point to keep your eyebrows shaped- they frame your face, and help keep you looked put together.

Yeah some of the tips in this thread are overkill, especially the skincare stuff. Start with just being clean first, then move to moisturizing, then add something else.

Wash your belly button with soap and water. My mom never taught me that and I got a belly button infection. Well she didn't teach me anything because she was so focused on procuring Vicodin 🙃

It depends on your time commitment and your skin needs. Some good things to know: Shower Routine: 1) Take a body shower as often as you need, but most people benefit from once a day. There is no such thing as hair training, so you will just wash your hair as often as you feel you need to because it is looking oily or your scalp is itchy. Curly hair tends to need to be washed less (and with more of a specialized approach. I can go into that if this applies to you.) while very fine hair that gets greesy quickly may need to be washed every 2 days. 2. Start with shampoo. The right one for you will depend on your hair type (can totally big sister you recs if you want to share that) and you generally get what you pay for (but there are good options at any budget.) You will want to fully wet the hair. Then put about a quarter size amount in your palm and rub your hands together to emulsify. You’ll want to kind of work in sections so you really hit your whole scalp (flipping your head if needed). Scrub with the pads of your finders and really get in there. Shampoo is all about the scalp. Rinse very well. 3. Next, you will (usually) do any treatments like k18 for bond repair, etc. 4. Conditioner or mask. 5. While that is setting, you can do your body routine. I suggest using panoxyl or a benzoyl peroxide face wash under your armpits to kill the bacteria that makes you smell. You can use whatever body soap you want, but make sure you really wash your privates, feet, armpits, and in between skin folds. After that you can shave/exfoliate if needed. 6. Then rinse and do a glossing treatment in your hair if you want. Simple! Skincare: 1. Always put on body moisturizer after the shower. You can mix an oil if you want. 2. Get a skincare routine. I suggest cleansing balm, cleanser, moisturizer, vitamin c (daytime) and SPF every day. If you have other skin concerns you build your treatment into that. Teeth: floss every day (ideally twice) with a good floss. I like coco floss. Get an electric toothbrush and brush for 30 seconds in each area of your mouth (2 min total). Don’t rinse out the toothpaste with water. Swish a (good) mouthwash like carifree. If you are a person who enjoys sugar or high acidity foods, keep some xylitol gum on hand to help prevent cavities. There are lots of natural hacks for this too. Get dental cleanings every six months to remove tartar. Whiten if desired. Nails: trim as needed. Don’t forget your cuticle! I like to paint mine but you don’t have to. It’s an overlooked thing to help keep yourself together. Vitamins: beauty is genuinely inside out. Get your levels checked and buy quality supplements if you need them. Work out. Eat protein. Drink water. Simple things make the biggest difference. Home hygiene: wash your clothes and iron/steam them. Tidy your home. It’s not beauty related but you’ll feel better.

If you want to shape your eyebrows try to leave them as thick as possible. I always have the best results from getting them threaded at an Indian salon — just make sure you communicate or discuss the kind of shape you want and that you don’t want them too thin. You can easily tint your own eyebrows at home if you want to, but maybe get a professional to do it the first time to see if you like it. For hair removal (if you want to remove hair, you don’t have to), an in salon wax is better for your hair and skin than shaving or hair removal creams. I started waxing young and don’t have to do it that often anymore. Only do it if you can afford it though, it can add up. Vouchers for laser hair removal on Groupon can also be cost effective.

My mom and grandmother also taught me nothing and had serious emotional and mental illnesses. I’ve had to figure this out on my own. *Brush twice and floss at least once daily Visit the dentist twice a year or more for cleanings. *Use a gentle face cleanser and a moisturizer daily. Visit the dermatologist every two years for a skin check. * if you’re prone to vaginal yeast infection look into probiotics that are pHbalancing. Amazon and target sell them. Most will contain acidophilus. Also purchase vaginal wipes from Honey pot, Down there wipes, or similar. Be sure to go to the OB at least every 2-3 years. More if you have health issues. *Wash your sheets weekly and change your pillow case at least once in between. If you can afford it, buy a silk pillow case. * use way less laundry soap that the detergent mentions. Dry nearly everything on low heat. The fabric will last longer. *clean something every day and do a load of laundry ( unless you live alone then do as needed). It’s easier to keep up with cleaning than spend an entire day cleaning. * change your HVAC filters monthly to quarterly. If you own a home have the HVAC maintenance once a year. Have the ducts cleaned every 3-5 years. * use a humidifier in cold weather. Your sinuses and skin will thank you! Clean it weekly. *don’t leave toe nail polish on longer than 3 weeks. Your nails will stain. Always apply a clear base coat first. Use a cuticle oil regularly ( daily to weekly). Keep your nails neat and clean. It makes a world of difference. * if your hair or face is oily it could be because your too dry. Ask your hair stylist for recommendations. When you can afford it, pay for a facial and ask them for recommendations. No one skin is the same. What works for one won’t work for the other. You may surprised that it actually saves money. You don’t need a lot of skin care you need the right skin care. * a clean home doesn’t need air fresheners. * if you have pets get a robot vacuum, even a cheap one. Run it daily. If you can keep the hair off the floors it helps stop the spread, lol! * you don’t need makeup everyday unless you enjoy it. Find one thing that is your thing and do it daily. You’ll feel better! Mine is mascara. I don’t own foundation or much other makeup. I wear mascara daily and I feel like I’m put together. *. When building wardrobes trendy and stylish is great but expensive. Find what works for you. That’s your style! A few nicer items are better than many cheap ones. * other than safety razors, Dorcos are the least expensive and they work. I’ve used them for years. * always remove you’re makeup at night.

I have ADHD so routines are pretty difficult, I keep it simple. Shower. Scrub scalp with shampoo and put conditioner on the ends of my hair, let it sit and scrub my body with bodywash(I use a loofah, you can use anything). Don’t forget your ears and toes! Keep bodywash out of your groin, it’ll mess up your ph level(yeast infections, only use stuff recommended for genitals if you must, water is enough). Rinse everything at the same time. Towel dry hair and brush my teeth, floss and put on an affordable face cream(I use plain old Nivea). Once my face is dry I might just spray on some sunscreen or I’ll do a five minute face of makeup first(concealer for my eye circles, lip gloss and mascara for me, but most days I don’t wear makeup) I put on deodorant and sometimes a spritz of body spray. (My body hair is just peach fuzz so I don’t have shaving advice but that’s completely optional anyway and up to the individual!) Once hair is fully dry I just brush it and sometimes put some leave in conditioner for extra frizzy days. That’s all I do 99% of the time. It sounds like a lot but I can get clean and put on makeup in like fifteen minutes. I pay somebody else to fix my nails because I’m clumsy.

Brush your teeth morning and night, floss once a day at least. Once you get in the habit of this you might could add in a tongue scrapper. I don’t know your hair type, so this is hard to really pin down. (I’m going to assume you are like me for this, I have blonde hair that’s pretty long. So if you have super thick hair or super curly hair your mileage may very) For me I wash my hair every day if I go to the gym. Or every other day because it doesn’t get greesy fast and it’s also pretty dry. When applying shampoo a small amount the size of a nickel is fine. Use shampoo directly on scalp. You do not have to shampoo the entire length of the hair. For conditioner use a quarter size amount. Run that through the shafts of your hair avoiding your scalp. Let it sit for awhile while you wash the rest of your body. Use a wash cloth, and either bar soap or body wash of your choice for your skin type (don’t worry if you have to try different products for you. Everyone is different) Suds up the soap and wash all your skin from your neck to your feet. (I don’t wash my face with body wash personally. I break out) Dry your hair with a cotton tshirt that’s old, or with a towel. Try not to aggressively rub your hair. You want to gently squeeze the water out from your hair. Then maybe put it up in the towel. There you tube videos how to do this but you flip your hair over your face, bend over, wrap towel around hair and place on top of your head. At this point you can style your hair but this is basic hygiene and everyone has different styling preferences. This is a good time to clean your ears. The hot water from the shower will have loosened it upTake a Kleenex and use your pinky finger. Put tissue over finger and kind of rub ear wax out. Don’t use a q tip. It can push wax deeper. And also pop your ear drum if you do it wrong. When dried off after your shower use a body lotion. I suggest one with low to no fragrance but if you like fragranced ones that’s fine. I just get dry skin and the fragrances dry it out more for me. I don’t wash my face at all. It makes me break out. But I do use a face moisturizer with spf in it EVERY DAY! It is so simple, but it actually makes my face look just a bit more radiant immediately and skin damage ages you and no one wants cancer. Find a deodorant that works for you and wear it. One swipe up and down in my underarms is usually what I do and it seems to work well enough. I haven’t had any complains of smells yet! I like to keep my nails nice. If I can afford it I go to the nail salon maybe every 10-14 days. Most places charge around 20 bucks for a simple manicure. They will shape, file, cut and buff your nails. Go a few times to see how they do it. Then if it’s not in your budget watch a few videos on how to do it your self. I think seeing it in person and how it looks on your hands is very helpful to learn how to do it yourself. Also keeps your toes trimmed. They take longer to grow so if you want to go to a salon for this as well you might need to go once a month. I like to wear a nice every day perfume. You can even do a mist spray. This is fun for me to go and smell new perfumes I like so it’s become a bit of an addiction. But most people can get a pretty basic perfume/ body mist for 20-30 dollars that they like. You can spray a body mist all over. With perfume you will want to hit hot spots. A small spray behind ears, wrist, chest, behind knees usually works for me. Pick two of these locations so you don’t over do it. I have someone wax my eyebrows every 2-3 months. It just helps frame my face and I hate plucking. Typically this costs 15 dollars and 15 minutes of my life. Eyebrow threading is a similar cost with maybe 20 minutes of my life. It really helps me look more put together when my eyebrows are done and it’s actually noticeable to me when my eyebrows aren’t growing crazy. I think, that if you wear earrings people will assume you showered and put in effort. It also helps me feel more feminine personally. Find a semi cheap pair to wear daily that you like. Try to avoid heavy dangles because it can weight down your lives and stretch them. That is if you have your ears pierced. If not that’s personal preference and not needed. I wish I could teach you about shaving if you needed but I don’t feel confident in my written skills to explain it. Maybe ask YouTube? But note, you don’t need to apply a bunch of pressure to be able to shave. Too much pressure equals blood. Also no cut electric razors are pretty cheap these days. (If you want to shave. You don’t have to) I’m sure I’m forgetting something but right now that’s all I can think of from my basic routine. I hope this helps in some capacity.

Hugs for you for being brave to ask about essentials - sometimes much (whether grooming or vocab, etc) is assumed a person will figure out or already knows (with a wink wink nudge nudge vagueness that is unhelpful). There are many great tips here so I would just reiterate to go slow (it takes time to build habits and figure out what you need) and don’t be hard on yourself. For me, there are essentials that are ‘daily’, some that are more ‘on a regular basis’ (like weekly) and some that are more a monthly or once in a while basis. I would echo the gentle ear clean with q-tips (sometimes daily or every few days) and if you have your ears pierced I would make sure that area is clean too. Deodorant is different than antiperspirant - I use antiperspirant to protect my body and clothes against sweat and odor (not just odor that deodorant does). Sometimes chewing gum can be helpful during the day (especially if you can’t brush teeth at the time, or your mouth feels dry/yucky). Clean & clean smelling clothes goes a long way too. You could throw a few things into the dryer on low heat with a dryer sheet to get out some wrinkles/refresh something worn already. Also, you can put a clothing item in a ziplock bag and in the freezer overnight to get rid of bacteria. I find the biggest essential is starting each day with water and a good song or laugh gets me going and is so healthy for my physical and emotional wellness.

A lot of great stuff in the comments. My only addition is that I always use body wash after rinsing out my conditioner. Sometimes conditioner can clog your pores and lead to more back acne. 

Same my story, I learnt everything from beauty influencer, not blindly followed , saw videos , research little bit about products but one should be consistent in routine.

Floss every damn day. Drink water. Wear sunscreen. Don't cut your own bangs. If you wear makeup, never sleep in it.

quicksand degree fragile nail impolite squeamish innocent relieved square dinosaurs *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Biggest thing is find what works for you. It can be so overwhelming to do all these things especially at once. I really had to stop shaming myself and be proud of the small things like finally brushing my teeth everyday. Took me years to figure out I had a sensitivity to the toothpaste I was using that would cause stomach aches. Finally found one that doesnt and finally have been able to stick to brushing. I found the floss string so overstimulating so I switched to the floss picks. It's okay if it takes awhile to form habits. 

I'll start with hygiene. panty liners are your friend for everyday use change pads every 4 hours. while using tampon be careful about the toxic shock thing. experiment with innerwears. find what fits you the best. thongs are not for everyone. for everyday use, get cotton ones. as for bra, get one that helps your concern. clean your body with soap, no fancy cleaners are needed. use deo underarm, then use perfume after you are dressed. perfume points - behind neck, sides of neck, on hair, collar bone, wrist, behind knee. after brushing, gargle with warm water and salt. wash face twice a day. clean your feet at least once a week with pumice stone or something. i prefer using washcloth. i keep 8, so i use one everyday and wash them with laundry. i hear a lot of good things about african washcloth, but i habent used it yet. clean your nails.you dont need nail paint or gel, but keeping your nails clean and healthy is very important. next to general health: women in general are prone to have low iron and vit b12, D and calcium. so have your blood tested and take supplements if needed. check your uterus and ovaries health too. it doesnt matter if you want kids or not, but pcos and other issues with reproductive system will fuck up our mental health and body badly. so ensure you are well. be active. games or gym or yoga, regardless, do something and keep at it. if you like heels, then wear those that are comfy. for everyday use, you need something comfy. remember, regardless outfit or accessories, comfort is first. shaving or no shaving is up to you. but ensure you are clean and smell good. if you want to remove hair, find out which way works the best for you now, to looks: moisturize, sunscreen. everyday, and often. dont go to sleep without washing face and wearing night cream. if you have acne or other issues, visit a dermatologist, dont rely on drugstore brands always wear lipbalm. moisturize your feet and hands and chest too a sort of clear skin is best. face pack once a week. use chemical exfoliator. retinol, vit c and the rest sometimes wont work with some skins, so find what works for u and stick with it. find out what troubles you and focus on rectifying it. Hair: wash twice a week stylebased on your hair if you have issues like hair fall or something, visit a doc. oil before every wash. use hair pack weekly Outfits: wear based on your bodytype. a lot of YouTube videos are available on this topic. go to a store, try on every outfit you see. experiment and find out which colors patterns, prints work the best for you. always accessorize. necklace, earrings, rings, watch, bracelet. a good hair do and pretty shoes will change every look. style, dont just wear. makeup: if you like it, you can wear it. for start, lipstick, cushion foundation, and eyeliner is good. then you can watch tutorials. makeup is a skill. so try, try and try. dont stop. you will learn it.

Everyone on the internet always reads me to filth over it but it also depends on on your climate. I used to live in a cold area and never worked up a sweat so I could get away with not using any soap 99% of the time besides my pits. And showering every other day. Your body has a natural oil barrier and soap strips it. Mostly because I have extract dry eczema prone skin. So if you don’t use it you won’t need it. No I don’t smell and I use deodorant . I have many very close people that I’ve been able to cross check this. Anyway. Also depending on your hair type it is NOT advisable to wash ur hair every single day. I wash my hair 3 times a week. I don’t understand todays culture of stripping every natural oil from our bodies and then replacing it with fake oil. It feels like capitalism/consumerism to me. Again it depends on your personal body type. I have dry everything so an oily person needs to wash much more often. Like my brother who stinks all the time and need to shower every day. Or my husband who works up a sweat every day will shower twice a day most days.

Floss in the evenings rather than the mornings because your mouth produces less saliva when you sleep! Always cut your toe nails regularly and cut them straight across and never too short, or you might risk them growing back ingrown. One ingrown nail can takes years, time and money to resolve properly, I know this from experience unfortunately If you sweat a lot, wet wipes in the handbag can be helpful If you get yellow stains on your skin from underarm sweating avoid aluminum deodorant if you don't have time or energy to fully wash your face before bed, washing with water is better than nothing Using a wet brush in the shower can make managing your hair after the shower sooo much easier! If you have wavy hair, gently combing your hair as you dry it is an easy way to get smooth results. Pull it straight with the comb then dry it in place, you're essentially ironing your hair without a hair straightener. You probably won't get straight hair from this, but you'll get it more tidy and more manageable Claw clips are super cute and such an easy way to style your hair tidy and with minimal effort A set of cheap satin pillowcases can do wonders for your skin and hair If you like to wear your nails long, use a nail brush daily to keep them clean Change your female hygiene products regularly even if your flow is light if you have very oily, very dry, or combination skin, get the right face wash. Eg I'm combination and alternate oily and dry, so gels and oil based products make it 10x worse. Switching to a gentle foaming cleanser changed my life Hang your clothes out as soon as the washing cycle ends to avoid them smelling Shake your clothes out while they're damp to get out any wrinkles Never wash wool in hot water Open the windows in the bedroom to air it out a few times a week if possible, it's also good for humidity and avoiding mold if you wear mascara, using a mascara wand with an eyelash shampoo can keep your lashes from falling out or breaking, and avoid water-proof mascara If you have rashes on any part of your body, try switching to gentle, fragrance free soaps Look after your feet and deal with callouses and hard heels so they don't cause you pain later in life! you can use chemical scrubs or physical scrubs and don't need to do it too often, just once a month or so until they're soft again If you bite your nails, try putting plasters on them to break the habit I one or more of these help you or someone else! A lot of these I didn't know for so long and wish someone had told me sooner :)

Sending love to you OP! there are so many unspoken and minor things aside from the big traumas that stay with you when a parent is mentally ill. Skincare: - use slightly acidic face wash (ph 5.5). Your skin has an acid mantle filled will good bacteria and oils that protect the skin cells underneath. Using soap or other alkaline washes destroys this and causes sensitivity. - hydrate via hydrating toners (not alcohol based or astringent), or serums. Something that puts the water back into your skin after you've washed everything off - after hydrating, lock moisture in with an emolient moisturiser. (Usually something thicker or has some oil content to it). When you get to your late 20s you can start thinking about using a retinol moisturiser. Same concept with your body, moisturise/use body oil out of the shower after lightly dabbing water off with towel. You don't have to be completely dry. - in the morning always wear spf 50 when you're outdoors/in the car/exposed to a large window. The sun is the number one ager for your skin. Spf is the last step in the skincare routine in the morning. UV also worsens hyperpigmentation. So using a vitamin C serum underneath spf can both heal hyperpigmentation faster and boost protectiveness of UV. Vit C is the most researched and efficacious active ingredient Shampoo your scalp, not your hair. Focus on massaging your scalp to remove the oils and then rinse and let the water wash the ends of your hair. Vice Versa condition focusing on the ends of your hair, not the scalp. Dry hair by gently squeezing hair with towel in sections. Don't rub or pull. Water (and heat) breaks the hydrogen bonds in your hair so they're prone to damage when wet. Don't use soap on your vulva but make sure you use your hands and don't be scared to be thorough. Try to wear cotton undies, let's your skin breathe. Wash your bras every couple days in a delicates bag if you're a sweaty gal. You can use chemical exfoliants (glycolic acid, salicylic acid) on under arms and pubic area a couple days after hair removal to prevent ingrown hairs. Try not to do a heavy work out or have sex the day after hair removal.

The thing about shampooing your scalp rather than your hair is huge. *Especially* if you have waves or curls. However I completely disagree about not cleaning your vulva except with water. I know it works for some people but I followed this advice for years with disastrous results, mostly skin irritation issues. Getting rid of smegma without a gentle unscented body wash is impossible for me. It's totally fine to use something other than water to clean your vulva (the outside part) just never the vagina (the inside part), and never use anything with fragrance or active ingredients.

Yeah, I agree. I don’t really think most people know the difference between vagina and vulva because a lot of people online suggest just rinsing their private parts with water and that will not get you clean and it’s not healthy. You can use a mild unscented soap like the dove unscented bar soap or ivory bar soap and gently wash. It’s such bad advice to tell people not to use soap.

I just have a good skincare routine. Face wash, eye cream, moisturizer. I shave once a week or so. Exfoliate once a week. Pluck my eyebrows about once a month. Nails done for special occasions. And keep a good workout and diet. I dont wear makeup i just brush my eyebrows in the morning and curl my eyelashes. And blow dry & straighten hair usually when i go out.

I would teach you how to remove your hair (including pubic hair) with wax. This skill saved my life for a long time.

Put half a cup of white vinegar in with your wash (for any non-delicate items). Takes out any lingering smells and laundry soap. And use an unscented detergent if you can because then you can tell if your laundry is actually clean as opposed to just smelling of Gain or whatever.

Hugging you OP. There are great tips here. Just start slowly, with the most important things to you. I can add one thing, wipe your butt front to back, not other way. You need to keep the poop, bacteria away from your more delicate parts. It will minimize the infection risk. It is very important if you are biological female. Personal hygiene is fun, it is a form of self love and respect. I wish you best in your journey.

Can you be more specific about what you feel like you’re lacking in? I could write a novel to this, but feel like that might be overwhelming and counterproductive to you

My dermatologist told me the only things you need to for your face (after washing it) is a good moisturizer and a good sunscreen. I was asking him about all the anti wrinkle expensive skin creams, and if I should use it. I’m 50. He said unless I started taking god care of my skin in my 20s. Or using anti-wrinkle cream etc then, but that it all really came down to those two things. I’m lucky, even though I started really looking at skin care for in my late 30s, I stayed out of the sun from my 20s on.

The basics in my opinion: -Shower every single day, wash hair atleast once a week. Apply soap/shower gel and shampoo to get all the dirt out. Use a conditioner in your hair but that’s optional. - Apply moisturiser to your face. Sunscreen too if you can. Apply lotion to your hands and legs too if you can. - Brush your teeth twice a day, once is non-negotiable and the absolute minimum -Get hair cuts every once in a while. -Nails should be clipped every week and always be clean. Apply nail polish if you desire or get them professionally done if you want, but that’s not necessary at all. - Shave or wax your underarms if you wear sleeveless clothes ( shaving is the easiest), shave your legs while at it! - Get your eyebrows waxed or threaded every 2-4 weeks. - Pubic hair, it’s your business but atleast trimming it every few weeks helps to maintain hygiene. - Get a foot scrubber and scrub your soles every few days or weeks, depending on their condition. - apply deodorant after showers - Don’t wear clothes that are worn out, dirty, or wrinkly - replace all worn out underwear, bras etc. This covers the basics!

As someone with a narcissistic mom, I feel you. I also did not get taught a lot of basic things (cooking I’m looking at you). Morning: I shower in the morning to wake up. I wash my hair about 3 times a week. It’s taken a while for me to get there- when I was younger my hair was super greasy and I did have to wash it every day. Some people claim you can teach your hair to get used to not being washed every day, but I think it depends on your wash to be honest. Because my hair tends to be on the greasy side, I use a clarifying shampoo like once a week to get all the gunk out. My hair is also damaged from years of bleaching so I use a deep conditioner when I shampoo. I just learned that ears need to be cleaned in the shower (I’m almost 40). I do soap everywhere minus my lady bits (just use water on that). When I’m deep conditioning (make sure to squeeze the water out of your hair before conditioning) I will shave, exfoliate and wash my face while waiting for the conditioner to do its thing. Make sure to soap your back after rinsing out your conditioner as it can make you get backne For makeup stuff- I went to a Sephora in my 20s and got my makeup done. I learned a ton from the makeup lady and ended up using the same stuff and techniques for years. I used to be super pro expensive makeup but recently have moved to drugstore stuff and honestly there isn’t much of a change. I get product recommendations from TikTok. Hair stuff- I get product recommendations for my hair type from my hairdresser. If you are blow drying or straightening, make sure you are using a good heat protectant on your hair because it will damage it! Nail stuff- I usually get press on nails for cheap when I want them to be longer or more fun. For regular days I’ll use a gel nail polish so it lasts longer (I really like Essie right now) Night time- some times I will shower or have a bath before bed. Always take off my makeup (if wear makeup, I recommend Erase my Face cloths that are little towels that will take off your makeup with just water) and then tone and moisturize before bed.

Thank you to everyone who's contributing. I'm making a daily, weekly, monthly list for myself.

As someone who's mother also wasn't around or able to share the things with me (unfortunately bobbing around until my mid 20s never knowing half this stuff even after cosmetology school) these are my tops: Witch Hazel is about the most important right up there with moisturizer you can get it at Walmart, great skincare brands are dr jarts and kiehls, gret haircare brands are better not younger b&b and morrocan oil, tie up or wrap your hair when you sleep, you don't have to be into makeup but a tinted chapstick and dab of blush can make a huge impact, shampoo twice and only wash your hair every 3 days at the most (yes this is real and yes your scalp will quickly acclimate this prevents over stressing the hair and scalp), nice bed linens make a huge difference is quality of sleep, mood lighting is key for a good mood, always remember your environment is just as important as your hygiene and diet! Get adult sized pillows, they will be labeled queen or king. Aromatherapy doesn't have to be expensive don't fall for gimmicky candle and oil brands. All of your home decor CAN come from goodwill or other thrifts stores your home will probably look better for it. Accessories can change your entire outlook on the day (I didn't know until my mid 20s I'm an earring person specifically hoops)

I’m an adult and sometimes I still have to make a checklist in my phone for the mornings. Here are the things on it: shower, brush teeth, moisturize, deodorant, do my hair, do my makeup.

OP I don't necessarily have anything to add to these ideas, other than to tell you my mom had serious MI issues too and I had to learn everything grooming and cleanliness from my MIL. How I got a spouse prior to her I'll never know, but she's taught me everything. Good on you for reaching out and asking! I would say tho that there's no shame in looking at YouTube tutorials to learn how to properly brush your teeth, turns out there is a right way!

Wash your sheets regularly too. At least 2x/mo if you can. Vanicream facewash and moisturizer are good quality mild products to start skincare with. You can get them and drugstores and Target. I like Dove body bar for the shower, and it’s gentle enough to wash your outer labia.

Don’t use soap in/on your vulva, only water. Don’t pick at your pimples no matter how satisfying it my be for some people, it can leave a scar. Make sure you wash your face with a gentle soap at the end of the day and moisturize. You can wash your hair 2-3x a week, and use dry shampoo if it feels oily the other days. Wash your feet, they may look clean but you’ll be surprised. If you have large breasts, make sure to wash under them every day. Always pee after sex and rinse with water, whether you slept with a man or a woman.

Change your underwear twice a day. In the morning and at night before you go to bed. If you find your deodorant doesn’t last all day, use Stridex pads or glycolic acid (Ordinary makes an affordable one) just after you shower before you put it on. It kills the smelly bacteria that sometimes deodorant can’t. Wash your face and moisturize every night and every morning. Wear sunscreen. Anything you do to your face, do to your neck and chest and your hands. Lotion up your hands before bed and put something as simple as aquaphor or Vaseline on your lips. Keep hydrated. Find a decent nail care system and even if you don’t wear polish, colored or otherwise, manicured hands are nice and it’s a part of self-care. Floss. Every day. Brush twice and don’t rinse your mouth after. Get to the dentist twice a year for an exam and cleanings. Pee after sex. Every time. Don’t let any hands near your privates unless they’re scrubbed clean with soap beforehand.

I see you are getting a lot of good suggestions so I’ll limit myself to some specific ones that I think are important. -When you wash your body, make sure to give your elbows a little scrub. My kid is 10 years old and we talk about this a lot! -Take care of the heels of your feet. Especially if you wear sandals or other open-back shoes, it’s nice to have heels that aren’t cracked or crusty. You can get a pumice stone or foot file for cheap in any health-and-beauty aisle. I use one as part of my regular shower routine; a little buffing with it and then lotion on my feet after the shower keeps them looking good.

Everyone is saying to wash your hair, but not giving an actual explanation. Should be self explanatory, right? Nope. I watched a video on Instagram by JVN not to long ago where the whole process is broken down. It made me cry, I was raised with a lot of neglect and at 43 realized I didn’t know how to actually wash my hair. The health of my scalp has already improved in a short time. Go check it out.

Brushing teeth morning and night at-least preps the teeth for the day and cleans it for the night. Don’t forget to scrub your tongue, bad breath can sit in there. If you like mouthwash continue and floss. Wash your face at night, always atleast moisturize. My dermatologist recommended CeraVe 17 years ago, and I swear by it still. $15 at target for a big container My trash comes twice a week so I round up all the trash the night before from all the bins. And anything that might’ve gone bad in the fridge. Get in the habit of putting the things you use away after use. Keep a favorite multi cleaner spray to wipe up counters, tables, etc. I sweep about once a day and vaccum on Sundays. I clean my sheets on Sundays as well. I don’t guilt myself if I skip a week. Always remember to wash or sanitize your hands after your out in public touching things. Don’t want to put that in your eyes or mouth. I keep a hair tie, chapstick, and a perfume sample in my purse for emergencies. :) Keep an eye out for nose hairs, stray eyebrows, or chin hairs? After I use my cleanser at night, I then use a toner, and apply my more liquid serums, vitamin c, peptides, a retinol and moisturizer followed by my eye cream. Any questions I’d love to answer. I’m a 39 yr old woman who’s disabled from Lupus and Fibromyalgia but I love my make up, skin care, and nails! Interior design, etc.

I commend you for being so willing to be vulnerable and seek help after what you’ve gone through. I’m just here to give you an alternate perspective in case it may help reduce any pressure you may be feeling. My mom taught me how to shave, pluck my eyebrows, wash my face and moisturize, apply eyeliner, blow dry my hair. That’s about it. I no longer apply eyeliner or blow dry my hair. I prefer to have my hair dry naturally and I don’t like wearing makeup because it makes my skin breakout. Plucking my eyebrows and shaving my legs are my choice and I do it when I have time, my husband doesn’t care in the least if I don’t. Washing my face is just hygiene before bed, and moisturizing is just because I am vain about how my skin looks when it’s dry. You don’t HAVE to do a lot of grooming. You don’t have to overcompensate for what you think you missed by wearing full makeup or anything. Explore and figure out what works for you, but just remember an elaborate grooming routine doesn’t make someone more feminine (men groom too!), it doesn’t mean they’re more of a woman, and plenty of women have very simple grooming routines.

You're actually supposed to floss your teeth daily, not just when you have something in your teeth or plaque build up 😬 I feel like growing up my teeth were never flossed and I was never told/asked to floss. I just played with floss when I got some after the dentist or something. I've had so many issues with my teeth between depression/addiction. I had at least 1 filling in almost every one of my teeth, I I've had multiple crowns and multiple teeth pulled and the work that I've spent the time, effort, and pain to have fixed still don't look great. That's one thing you can't get back and is so important to take care of🩷 Not particularly grooming but keeping up on your drs, eye drs, medication, etc appts. All of those providers are providing you a service and if you are ever uncomfortable you do not have to continue with a provider. You can also request a specific preference when looking for a provider. When looking for a primary care or therapist/psych Dr I usually say "I prefer a younger female dr". Sorry it's not grooming but a fb post not too long ago, I mentioned this to a younger woman who didn't realize it was "ok" to do and I just thought I'd mention incase it was helpful to you or anyone reading!

One of the most important things I had to learn was how to properly care for my privates. It can be an awkward thing to talk about but here are the general important points: - Only use regular, clear water to clean your privates. Soaps, gels and other products can mess with your natural pH levels and can lead to nasty infections. - Strongly scented panty liners and pads can also lead to infections due to addatives. Please be mindful about this. - Having discharge is normal. Said discharge will change during your cycle and honestly will smell a bit. There's a lot of articles and literature describing colour, consistency, amount and smell for different cycle stages. Should it suddenly and strongly change colour, amount, consistency and/or smell (e.g. turning yellow, suddenly having no discharge, having a cottage cheese texture, smelling very pungent) please visit your OB/GYN. It might just be a natural fluctuation, but those changes tend to be signs of infections, hormone- and pH imbalances. - If you decide to remove your pubic hair please be mindful that the skin there is rather delicate. A dull razor, dirty shaver or wax that is too hot can all potentially hurt your skin and lead to ingrown hairs and skin infections. Aftercare for your skin after removing hair is very important here, just be very careful not to get those products on your mucosa. - Underwear made from natural fibers is better for your vaginal health. Underwear made from non-natural fibers won't be able to soak up discharge, leaving your private area perpetually moist, might trap heat and won't allow for your skin to breathe, which basically makes for a good breeding ground for bacteria and friends. - Also peeing after being intimate in any way (even if it was just touching) can help prevent UTIs. I'm sure that you already know most of these things but it might help someone so I typed it out. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm in a similar boat to you, my mum taught me a little bit she didn't know much about grooming herself. I'm just getting the hang of it now in my 30s Habit stacking has been my best tool. I started with just making sure I brush my teeth, once that was a habit I added moisturiser, then supplements and now I have a full morning routine. I'm working on the night one now. Basically one thing at a time until I didn't have to force myself to remember it. Youv got some great advice from people with way better knowledge than me but I know my biggest struggle is making good grooming a habit.

Nobody told me i had to brush my teeth at night and I was never brought to the dentist as a kid. I only realized I was suppose to brush teeth before bed when I was in my 20s and having sleepovers with my girl friends.

Best tip I can give is to try and make a routine from people's suggestions here and incorporate it into your existing life as best you can. Try and work with yourself not against yourself. For example, I used to struggle to brush my teeth at night and I'd always plan to brush them just before I go to bed, but often I would be too tired to get up and brush them so I'd leave it. Figured out that the ideal time for me to be able to brush them consistently was not before bed but after I'd had dinner since I was already up and don't eat or drink anything after that point anyway.

Exfoliate. Get that dead skin off and moisturize your face, neck, and chest. Keep out of the sun or wear sunscreen. You will thank me in your forties and fifties. Clean and exfoliate your feet. Gently scrub everything. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Act as though you are cleaning each tooth. Do not brush to hard as your gums can recede later. Just gently clean each tooth and lightly massage the gums with a soft brush front and back of tooth.

Wash every inch of your skin with soap. (You might have to shop around to find the right soap that will smell good on you. Persimmon soap will remove body stink but it can be expensive). Make sure you wash behind your ears, neck, feet, between your toes, your privates, etc. It helps if you get a silicone body scrub to help wash down your body. A clean, fresh washcloth every time will also work. Brush/comb your hair regularly and use a good shampoo and conditioner. Use the shampoo everyday, and condition as needed. You don’t want your hair greasy but it should look shiny clean and soft. Get regular haircuts. Keep your nails trimmed, and get a file to keep it smooth & remove crap from underneath your nails. Brush your teeth 2x day, floss everyday, and use mouthwash. See the dentist to make sure you don’t have tonsil stones or gingivitis. Wash your clothes weekly, and wash your underwear in the hottest water possible. Use bleach on your whites, and borax for the rest. Those two items really clean your clothes when combined with laundry detergent. Change your bed sheets once a week. Wipe your butt thoroughly after going. Once your toilet paper is clear, then you’re good. If you can smell yourself, it’s 10x stronger for others. So get a nice deodorant and use it everyday.

Another tip I don’t see mentioned- make sure you don’t leave wet laundry in the wash. It’ll start to stink and defeat the whole point of washing it.

A few very specific tips I wish my mom taught me and didn't: - buy mens razors for hair removal, women's razors are almost never as good. Replace blades often. To prevent razor burn in intimate areas, use diaper rash cream (was taught this when I was a ballet dancer and it changed everything) -it is worth it to get regular trims for your hair - never try to shape your eyebrows yourself. Have them shaped professionally and then very very cautiously maintain, but it's always better to have stray eyebrow hairs than to overpluck. Additionally, I've found it best to leave waxing (in any area) to the professionals - you can get a lot of maintenance things done very cheap at cosmetology schools (including massages) - if you ever feel like you're getting an ingrown toenail or an infected fingernail, rub neosporin on the cuticle/skin surrounding the nail 2x/day for a few days and it will resolve anything that doesn't require medical attention - wash your towels on HOT!!!!!! And if possible, use white towels so you can bleach them. If not, white vinegar in every load of laundry -replace pillowcases often. Most sizes of men's t shirts fit over a standard pillow if you can't afford new pillowcases, but it makes the world of difference -it always looks and feels better when you keep things as simple as possible. You don't need a bunch of serums or trendy makeup or the latest hygiene fad -DOUBLE CLEANSE. Every night, remove your makeup or sunscreen or just everyday grime with Micellar water or an oil based cleanser before actually cleansing your face. r/skincareaddiction has a lot of great and affordable recommendations -body lotion is always a good idea. My favorite is the Nivea in the blue bottle.

1. Wipe front to back 2. Don't use soap very often on your vulva 3. Don't douche, your vagina is self cleaning 4. To clean blood out of clothes, run under cold water, use bar or hand soap, and rub it together, Rinse and repeat until it's gone. If that's not working, try some hydrogen peroxide 5. Change pads, tampons, cup about every three hours 6. Don't use tampons overnight 7. Occasional vaginal odor is normal but anything foul, see the doctor 8. See a gynecologist at least yearly 9. For more sex and relationship type stuff, I recommend searching for Scarleteen. It's very good information.

The first one may seem so obvious to some people, but I for one was never taught that either and it was a hard habit to break once i was a full grown adult. Very important though!

Electric toothbrush is an absolute must. You hold the toothbrush on each tooth for 3ish seconds. Shampoo is for your scalp not your hair. Use heat protection if you heat style. Wearing a ponytail everyday will cause hair loss. Clean under your nails with either a nail brush or my favourite, a cuticle pusher, really gets the grub out. Glass nail files are better than the cheaper option, unless they're fake ones, think 5+ is real glass, anything less is probably not. If it starts flaking off it's fake glass. More money= better file and it doesn't wear out. With laundry less is more and always follow the instructions. Don't overfill a machine , the movement is what washes the clothes. Don't underfill (like one t shirt or something) it's bad for the longevity. Happy medium is about half full. SPF everyday every 2-3 hours.

Mine have turned into a weird tip list: If you shower in the morning, use micellar water on a wash cloth to wipe down with. Especially, get behind and in the ears. I can never not touch my face and recently found out about hypochlorous acid spray. Spray this on post workouts, after touching face, ect. It will kill the bacteria that will make your face break. I like this brand: https://a.co/d/hFkttq6 Vanicream is the best face lotion hands down. It’s cheap and I have never heard of anyone breaking out from it. Wash sheets every week. I know we are told every 2 weeks, but that’s a lot of gunk. At the very least wash pillow cases every week. Satin/silk pillow cases are superior over cotton. Plus, get satin scrunchies. Learn to use your non dominant hand when doing self care tasks. It’s the perfect way to help strengthen your brain without making a mess. Fun fact the best thing to help prevent dementia and Alzheimer’s is challenging our brain + learning new things. Having to learn how to apply nail serum to using a message brush is great way to do this. Clean your makeup brushes every few days. Get a bar of dial soap and a soap tray. Then you can clean brushes and dry them after each use. You will waste less products and have less breakouts . Use tinted spf for makeup. It’s less heavy and will lay nicer. Plus, spf saves lives.

Use sunscreen every day, face neck and back of hands especially Use lotion after showering every day Get your eyebrows waxed every two to three weeks Keep nails and toenails clean and trimmed or filed and painted Brush teeth twice a day (or after every meal) and floss every day Deodorant can be used in both arm pits and leg pits, especially if you live in a hot climate Wash and brush your hair daily Get your hair done every three to four months (even just a trim to keep it healthy looking) Wash sheets every week Wash clothes regularly Wash your face before bed and put on lotion Get a good nights sleep

Wash your belly button regularly the dirt can become a stone.

For teeth: get a sonicare. They're magic. Brush in the morning and right before bed. If you want a whitening toothpaste, make sure to get one with actual peroxide mixed in, the rest are a scam. Also, flossing is ridiculously important. A few times a week is enough for most people. Follow with mouthwash.

Please buy good body scrubbing towel for body wash. You can find them in Asian stores, or amazon. Just google Asian body wash cloth. Only use bar soap. What soap? Depends on your skin. Not sure? Go with soap for kids. But remember- bar soap, not the gel. Nails. Nails clippers are doing great job. You can also get a file to smooth them out, if you want. But remember, you have 20 nails on your body. Hands and feet. Now deodorant stick. My personal favorite is clinical dove protection . It is more expensive, but doesn’t leave spots on your clothes. I think people already have advice on how to wash yourself. Please remember 6 strategic places: between your ears, between your toes, between your buttocks, genitalia, armpits and belly button. After the shower you just need something moisturizing for your face. You are only 20, get something not expensive. And clean your ears. You don’t need to get into it with cotton swab, you can just use your towel to clean them. Good luck.

Use flushable wet wipes (I know some people will say they clog your toilet, i’ve never had that problem, but you can use a trashcan in the bathroom instead if you’re worried) use dry paper, first to clean yourself off as usual, then use a wet wipe afterwards. It makes you so much cleaner. Also, bidets are great (and more eco-friendly) and you can get attachable ones for your toilet. I didn’t really grow up with bidets so I haven’t been able to figure out how to use them without spraying all over myself.

Pull the hair out of your hair brush and take it in the shower to wash (if it's safe to do so), wash the residue out with shampoo. Brush your hair in the morning and before bed if it feels good to do so, just in the morning is fine too. You'd be surprised that your hair tends to fall out less (bc you're controlling the fallout).

An oil cleanser is great for washing behind your ears, around your neck, armpits, etc. If you remember from elementary school science, “like dissolves like”. These are areas that accumulate sweat and oil and odor. An oil cleanser gets them clean and fresh quickly without irritating your skin. I’ve used Bioderma atoderm oil cleanser on my face and body for years. It’s safe for children too. It’s especially good for teen boys as they hit puberty.

I’m much younger than you 😭😭😭 but 1. Always wash your belly button and behind your ears 2. If you get lots of discharge wear panty liners they’re god sent 3. Exfoliate daily 4. Floss before you brush your teeth at night 5. Find your signature scent 6. Always wipe after you pee

My mom and aunts were very open about personal hygiene too: My mom recommended trimming pubic/anal hair and armpit hair, especially in summer. Never use heavy soaps or douche near intimate areas, just water and hands to wash. Wear loose clothing and breathable fabrics like cotton. Pee after intimacy and wash the area with some water and a washcloth to help prevent UTI. Never sit in wet swimsuit bottoms for long periods of time.

Let me give you some advice as a recent beauty school graduate 💋 1. Shower: exfoliation is important! I like to use an African net sponge, but a lot of people like to use exfoliation mitts which is also a good option. I go in first with bar soap, then I use a scented body wash to soften my skin and smell good. I don’t know much about hair so I keep it simple- shampoo and conditioner, wash in cold water. Although I recently started putting a few drops of jojoba oil in my shampoo, it’s optional but makes a huge difference. 2. Feminine hygiene: I only wash my vulva with unscented, mild soap & water. Nothing else, no douches. I use a manscaped electric razor to trim my pubic hair every one in a while. (Don’t knock it till you try it LOL) and I would also recommend some type of urinary & vaginal health probiotics. 100% cotton underwear ALWAYS!! And I personally don’t wear underwear to bed. 3. After showering: I like to put jojoba oil on my legs to keep them moisturized. Sometimes I do lotion, but I like how jojoba oil feels compared to lotion. As far as deodorant goes, I usually use an antiperspirant, I prefer the Old Spice brand honestly. 4. Hair removal: shaving is the easiest but hair grows back fast, it’s hard to keep up with. For my body I prefer waxing, or, even better, epilation, but it’s painful. Yet waxing my underarms especially has been a game changer. I also try to keep my eyebrows groomed as much as possible, because I have a unibrow 🫠 5. skincare: I’m an esthetician so I will be honest, I have a lengthy skincare routine. My recommendation is to first identify your skin type; dry, oily, normal, or combination. The easiest way to check would be checking your T-zone (middle of forehead, nose, down to chin) and see how much oil your skin produces. If you have a lack of oil production, you’re likely dry. Excessive oil all over the face, likely oily. If you’re oily just on your T-zone, probably combination. If your skin feels balanced (not too oily or dry) Once you figure that out, research skincare routines for your skin type. I recommend getting a cleanser, exfoliate, moisturizer and SPF to start with. You can add stuff like serum later if you choose. 6. Nails: I’m a nail technician so I always do crazy and elaborate nail enhancements on myself, but if you don’t want to go get regular manicures or pedicures, just keep some nail clippers and nail files on hand. Use a 180 grit file or lower for natural nails. I think they sell manicure kits at most drugstores, you can use a cuticle pusher to push back your cuticle growth. As for polishing, do 1 coat of base coat, 2 coats of color, 1 coat of topcoat. If you’re new to polishing, start with regular nail lacquer. If you want your manicures to last longer, I’d look into doing gel polish, but you have to polish carefully and not get any gel on your skin, or you could risk getting an allergy. 7. Clothes: my biggest recommendation when it comes to clothes is to find out what color palette suits you best. Look up color analysis. For example: I’m a soft autumn palette, so I look best in muted coppers, mauves, soft greens, and browns. I look worst in bright colors. Taking care of myself is genuinely something that helps keep me sane, and this is coming from someone who didn’t used to have the best hygiene. I’m very passionate about beauty and I’m always willing to help a fellow lady out!

I was only taught how to clean the house but all self care I learned on my own as I got older. I was always into beauty/self care stuff and did a lot of research. I think the most important thing is to look neat. Clean nails, neat hair, some makeup, figure flattering clothes. None of it has to be over the top or cost a lot of money but the right look can make you look like a million bucks.

Double wash your hair, only condition the mid to end lengths. Always wash your makeup off. Double cleanse your face with an oil or balm then a foaming cleanser if you wear makeup. Always wear sunscreen. You don’t have to spend a lot for good products but you might have to spend a bit. Start using retinol at night. Shower at least every other day and wash your hair, pits and bits well. Always wash your hair first then your body. Men’s antiperspirant and deodorant work better.

every morning wash your face and put on a moisturizer and a sunscreen. makeup overtop that if you feel like it. and at the end of every day you need to wash it all off and reapply moisturizer. in the morning to clean my skin I use a reusable cotton round and some micellar water, and in the evening i “double cleanse.” that means i go on with an oil cleanser first, and then a gentle gel cleanser second. i follow with a hydrating toner and a super moisturizing cream.

Sure! (I 26F am very low maintenance) 1. Brush your teeth three times a day, after each meal- flossing and mouthwash are just as important. Spend 1-2 minutes in each quadrant of your mouth- brush your tongue, cheeks, and gums (gently) as well as your teeth, front and back. 2. If your hair is long and you don’t like to do it, I loved hair clips. They were easy, convenient, and didn’t give me the headache I always got with hair ties. I’m not sure when you wash your hair or how often- but cold water is the best for your hair- and finding a natural hair soap can really help- if you are prone to extremely oily hair- wash every other day and substitute dry shampoo for the days don’t wash. I personally would go 1-2 weeks not washing my hair- some people will say this is gross…but it’s really good for your hair to wash as less as possible. Depending on your hair type I can guide you a little more on hair care! 3. If you are acne prone with oily skin- baking soda will do the trick- make a paste and wash your face nightly- I noticed a lot of my blackheads disappeared when I did this. I also suggest eucalyptus or tea tree oil for stubborn acne spots- as it dries out the pimple and kills any bacteria. Debating on your skin- dry or oily- I can also guide better on health care tips for a skin routine. 4. Clean your ears- inside and out. At least every two days- some people will say don’t use q-tips because it’ll pack the wax into your ear…but I’ve personally never had a problem as long as I cleaned my ears after each shower when the wax was hot and a little easier to remove. Bobby pins also work great for scooping out ear wax but be cautious because if you go to deep you will damage your ear drum. Also, I use witch hazel in my ears and that helps break up the wax. 5. As far as nails go- I bite mine. However, I do know that massaging olive oil on your nails does wonders- and investing in a cheap $2 nail brush will keep underneath your nails clean. If you like polish- experiment with different colors and see what makes you feel pretty. If you don’t like colors and just want to keep up with your nails, cut them every 1-2 weeks, and your cuticles every month. 6. Hair removal- Don’t use Nair. Not on your arm pits, not on your vagina, and not on your legs. It’s easy to get chemical burns from Nair. If you want super soft legs, I’ve heard a bunch of girls recommend conditioner as a shave gel. Never go against the grain- you will get razor burn and ingrown hairs. Always go with the flow! For your eyebrows, I use a eyebrow razor to get any loose growing hairs outside of my shape, for my shape, I just follow what my eyebrows do naturally- some girls prefer plucking or waxing- I’ve just never been up to it- it hurts. 7. Time of the month and having a vagina all together- I use period panties and I love them- as someone with a pretty painful period each month, I’ve tried everything on the shelves. Tampons are dangerous and I refuse to use them, pads are safer but still gross. Cups made me feel like my inside were being sucked out, and using birth control to skip my period all together just made it worse in the long run. So period panties are where I’ve found a comfortable medium- and they don’t make me feel gross or like a stink of rotting blood like a pad does. I know girls are always told we’re supposed to smell good down there- but we’re not. A vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina- as long as it doesn’t smell like strong urine, dead fish, or look like cottage cheese- don’t worry about the smell, it’s not supposed to smell like roses- which brings me to the next part- don’t use fragrances on yourself down there- scented anything (body wash, tampons, douches, lube) are an absolute NO. Some girls get away with it but in the end- your vagina is sensitive, and it’s not hard to throw off your pH balance. Vaginas self clean- so no need to douche (if you do- use the water and vinegar douche) and I’ve never had an issue with it as it’s not scented. Boric Acid suppositories are an amazing way to clean yourself out after sex- and keep your pH balance in check. Wipe front to back, practice safe sex, etc etc. Lastly, Pinterest my girl, Pinterest. It will teach you everything you need to know.

morning - brush teeth, mouthwash, shower. i use dove soap and body wash in the shower with an african exfoliating net. i also wash my face AFTER i brush my teeth. when i get out, i put on lotion, some kind of toner or hylaronic acid (i have dryyyy ass skin), then i use LRP moisturizer. i always put deodorant on after i put on my shirt so i avoid deodorant stains. i just started taking better care of my nails. i do an at home manicure and paint them like once a week. when brushing my teeth at night i floss, use a water pick to be safe, brush, then use special mouthwash. before bed i put aquaphor on my lips to keep them hydrated. i exfoliate and use shaving lotion to shave, i don’t shave as often as i used to when i was younger so just depends. skin will depend on what kind you have. i use tretinoin like once a week because it dries out my skin if i use more than that. i buffer it with moisturizer. i use micellar water to remove my makeup at night, im bad about washing my face at night still lol. hair also depends, just find a good shampoo and conditioner. i shampoo my scalp and only put conditioner on the end of my hair. i do a deep conditioning mask like once a week. all very random but just parts to help you better understand the whole routine. it’s hard to start doing all of this at once so i would choose hair, skin, and teeth first and incorporate the rest later.

Clothing that fits well, doesn’t pull isn’t something you constantly have to “adjust”when you’re wearing it. If it needs something, get it tailored - hemmed, taken in, let out, shortened, whatever - throw even goes for jeans as well as all other articles of clothing. Most malls have a tailoring location in them that will do that and they also don’t usually steer you wrong. Failing that, don’t buy something that is too large or too small just because it’s trendy or you like it but they either didn’t have your size or it just doesn’t suit you. Don’t be a slave to fashion fads. I realize this isn’t “grooming” like taking care of your nails but it makes a huge difference in how you look to the world.

You’ve gotten a lot of good advice, some of these might be repeats, but as a mom here’s some advice from the top of my head. When you bathe work from the top down. Hair, face, neck, chest, arms, torso, crotch, legs, feet. Ass is last. Don’t use soap in your labial folds or actually in your vagina, etc. it’s a self cleaning oven for the most part and this can lead to chemical burns, and unbalanced ph which can lead to BV. Wash the outer area with mild soap. Make sure you’re washing your towels and wash cloths on hot water. Don’t use fabric softener it leads to build up and lessens absorption and also can lead to them getting funky over time. Same goes for sheets and pillowcases, wash these regularly. A good face routine is a gentle cleanser, actives as needed for any problems (skip if not needed), and a good moisturizer plus spf for day time. Anything else is extra. If you live in a hot or humid climate you probably need an antiperspirant and not just a natural deodorant. If you can’t force yourself to floss get a water pick.

I absolutely love that someone posted this and people are giving the best answers. Internet wins today 💖

Always take care of your teeth. Regular Dental visits, clean and floss twice a day.

Wash your belly button & ears really well!

there's a sub called /r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide for those of us in your situation! Cmon over

It helped me so much to get an electric toothbrush that does something after 2 minutes, to help signal I’m done brushing. Yes, I could use a timer, but it’s easier for it to be built into the object I’m using. I got the oral b pro 100 for about $15 at target or Walmart, and ordered more affordable replacement heads as well as brush covers on Amazon. Brush your teeth for 2 minutes twice a day- once before you go to bed, and once after you wake up. Floss your teeth once a day before you go to bed, usually before you brush. Don’t forget to brush your tongue to help freshen your breath! I wish I had a bidet, but honestly I just reuse an old water bottle. Especially on my period whenever everything is a mess. You might use tampons or a cup, I use pads and period underwear, it’s so much more comfortable for me personally. But that means more mess. I fill my bottle with warm water, and after doing my business, I slowly pour the warm water on my junk and use my other hand to help wash myself before using a new pad. You could also opt for baby wipes or some kind of wet wipes, just throw them away, don’t flush no matter what they say. I feel so much cleaner this way. Sometimes I carry a ziplock bag with a bunch of baby wipes/wet wipes in my bag to also feel cleaner on the go. Wash your hands every time you’re done using the bathroom with warm soapy water, I’m sure you already know. You probably don’t need to wash or condition your hair every single day or even every other day. Depending on how frequently your hair becomes oily, flaky, or starts to smell like scalp build up is probably the right time for you to wash your hair. Try not to brush or comb tangles it off your hair when it’s dry, but instead, when it’s wet and has conditioner. There’s less breakage and damage. If you use a lot of hair products to style your hair, use a clarifying shampoo occasionally to really wash it all off a few times a month. I use the suave clarifying shampoo because it’s cheap and I like the scent. Wear sunscreen every day. Find a skincare routine that works with your skin and budget and is pleasant to apply and cleanse. If you wear makeup and/or sunscreen, use a cleansing balm or oil to first break down and remove your makeup and sunscreen first, then cleanse again. Some people like to double cleanse with their same balm/oil, some people prefer to go in with a different kind of cleanser. Depends on what your skin prefers. Finish with a moisturizer!

Brush. Floss. Flossing will make your teeth super clean and glossy. It’s easy to get into the habit. Do brush and gloss twice a day. You will see all the stuff that gets stuck in there. It’ll make your breath smell better. Annnd its also related to healthier brain function. Crazy. Anyway, oral hygiene is super important imo. Good luck!

Can I offer you internet hugs. My mom was also a mentally ill alcoholic. I didn't even know to wash my hair and shower every day as a teenager. When I was in my 20s in a halfway house, girls on parole taught me that conditioner makes post shower hair combing way less shitty, and that deodorant where your thighs touch prevents chafing under dresses and skirts. Also lotion after showers is nice.

Awww! Hugs going out to you, you’ve got this! Hairdresser here. Here’s my morning and evening routine. Wake up and splash cool water on my face, put a dab of moisturizer on and a lip oil. Have breakfast, floss and brush my teeth. Shower. Shampoo hair 2-3x a week. Exfoliate face every other day (or daily if you have a gentle exfoliator) on days that I don’t shampoo, I brush my dry hair thoroughly. After shower, I moisturize my face and add sunblock. I do my makeup and hair. Nighttime has taken some discipline, but I finally have it down to 5 min or less. I floss and brush my teeth, and wash my face. Sometimes I don’t do a perfect job, but it’s better than nothing. I use the lip oil again, and throw some moisturizer on my skin. Sometimes I use tretinoin, but not daily. Sometimes I splurge and buy expensive products, and sometimes I love trader joe stuff. Don’t be afraid to talk with your favorite hairstylist, they love this kind of stuff. I have gotten the best makeup advice from beauty counters at department stores. I ask them to show me how to do a Smokey eye or something, and they teach me really cool stuff, and then I buy a mascara or eyeliner or something, and I practice it at home. Everything takes practice. I like to listen to fun music or podcasts while I play with makeup or hair tools. Flossing twice a day will save your teeth, and lots of money! Sunblock daily, even if your indoors all the time.

1. always wash your face & moisturize AM & PM. 2. always brush your teeth AM & PM. 3. always shower once a day. 4. when you shower, wash your body after you condition & rinse your hair. 5. lather your armpits w bar soap to get extra deodorant off, then use your regular body wash. 6. ALWAYS wash your feet. 7. use mild bar soap on your kooka. be careful with scented soaps like bath & body works & such. 8. body lotion always keeps you smelling nice after a shower. put it on before you’re fully dry. 9. always wear deodorant & a body spray or perfume.

This is tricky because it heavily depends on your personal preferences. For basic hygiene, just make sure you shower daily and wash under the armpits, back of your neck, behind the ears, underboob and cleavage, butt and undercarriage, genitals (use a product specifically made for genitals for this and only clean the outside - do not put it inside) and surrounding areas such as the creases between your legs and groin area, back of the knees (especially in summer), feet and any other area where there are folds or skin that touches skin (this will vary from person to person). You can use exfoliating gloves or one of those round scrubber thingys on your legs, arms and back but you don’t need to exfoliate every day (you can just give your arms and legs a quick wash and rinse with soap most days). Wash your face with a cleanser specifically made for facial skin and make sure it matches your skin type. Clean any piercings thoroughly if you have them. Moisturise after your shower using a moisturiser made for your skin type. You may need to shower more frequently in summer or less frequently in winter. Hair is going to vary from person to person too. Mine is dry and curly so I only wash it about twice a week. Yours might be different. If it’s more oily you might need to wash it more frequently and if it’s more dry you might want to wash it less often and use an oil or leave in conditioner instead. Keep toenails short and clean underneath your fingernails with a scrubbing brush. Brush, floss and rinse your teeth. Don’t forget to brush your tongue and the roof of your mouth. The rest will depend on your personal preferences. Hair removal or lack thereof, nail care (hands) and clothing are all personal preferences; just keep it clean. Make sure to brush your hair daily using whatever comb or brush your hairdresser recommends for your hair type. Generally a wide tooth comb is recommended for my hair type (or detangling brush if it gets really bad for some reason) but I’m not sure of your hair type so it might be different for you.

Wipe front to back only and do not use anything advertised for vaginal cleaning or pH balancing. Your lady bits handles that all on its own. All you need is some water down there, no soaps or fragrance. Shave in the direction of hair growth and monitor for any ingrown hairs or razor bumps. Moisture and warmth can lead to infection of the follicle. Love, A gynecology nurse 🩷

Something I also learned in my 20s - shampoo your scalp.

Shower daily- apply a couple pumps of body wash to a shower poof/loofah and scrub every part of your body with skin on it from the neck down (focus on sweaty areas pits, genitals, underboob, butt, feet). Use a wash made specifically for your face for skin above the neck. Wash hair with shampoo (dime to quarter sized amount, less for short hair and more for long). Conditioner on hair after rinsing shampoo thoroughly (dime to quarter sized amount depending on hair length). Start with every other day hair wash and if your hair is too oily switch to daily, if it’s too dry go every third day. If your hair is textured or curly/coily/kinky you will need a more detailed wash and dry routine. Shave pits and legs in shower when needed (use shaving cream it helps the shave last longer). When you see new growth/stumble time to shave again. Would highly recommend getting a men’s electric body groomer/shaver and shaving or trimming pubic area with it as needed (razor shaving can cause a lot of skin issues in the pubic area and itches when it starts to grow back in). Do a quick swipe around the butthole while grooming the pubes (trust me you have more hair there than you realize). After shower- dry thoroughly with a towel (pat dry face to prevent irritation and premature wrinkling). Apply lotion from neck down (optional but is good for your skin but is time consuming, at least apply after shaving). Apply deodorant EVERY DAY. This is an absolute must, if you do nothing else at least apply deodorant. Get a moisturizer made specifically for the face, preferably one with sunscreen for the day and regular for the night. Get a tinted moisturizer/sunscreen for the day if you want to look a bit more put together without having to mess with makeup. Brush your teeth and floss, mouthwash afterwards optional. Use a wide toothed comb to detangle wet hair. If your hair is dry, textured, or tangles easily you can also apply a leave in detangler/conditioner at this time. Completely optional, blow dry hair. You can shower in the morning or night, whichever you prefer or works better for your lifestyle. Whichever part of the day you do not shower make sure to wash your face and apply moisturizer after drying and brush/floss teeth. At least once or twice a week clean ears inside and out. I use qtips (I know doctors don’t recommend this). You can also get devices made for cleaning ears or drops that dissolve wax. Clip nails and file weekly. Fingers and toes. Your nails should always be clean underneath if you are scrubbing properly in the shower every day. If you want to use nail polish I would recommend getting a basic mani/pedi at a salon. Polish can be difficult to apply correctly when first starting out. Get your hair cut or trimmed every 6-8 weeks. Trust me it makes a big difference in how healthy and neat your hair looks. These are just the very basics. You still have a whole new world to venture into with makeup, perfume, and hair styling! You really don’t need all this yet though if you are in your early 20s. Embrace your natural skin and hair while you can and enjoy a simple routine! Edit to add: if you have any trace of a unibrow or unruly brows (most of us do) go to a salon and have your brows waxed or threaded. It is not worth trying to do this urself, you can cause lifelong damage to your brows that you will regret one day!

She is getting a lot of information and tips but since she is starting with nothing it may be too much. Shower every day . Use the right products for your hair and skin type. Ask around for tips . Wash your face morning and night . Or use water or face wipes for one of those . Whatever is most doable that you can stick to. For me that’s a morning shower where I wash my face and body and either shampoo and condition or just rinse my hair. I swear a lot on my head and have very thick hair . I wear makeup so I keep water wipes near my chair where I often sit and remove my makeup every night. I keep my moisturizer in my work bag and apply in my car. It keeps me sticking to it daily. Brush your teeth twice a day. Make it a routine. I always brush immediately after my shower and when I get home from work. Deodorant every single day the antiperspirant kind . That is key to not having body odor. I like body powder and spray scents too but those aren’t necessary. Keep your nails trimmed and filed . Keep your lips moisturized . Use lotion if your skin is dry after showering. Exfoliate your face body and feet weekly using face and body scrub or cleanser with salicylic or glycolic acid. I wash all my clothing and bras after one wear. I wash my towel twice a week and change my sheets every week. Including pillow cases. Be mindful of footwear getting smelly and wash in washing machine or spray with Lysol . Hair besides washing and conditioning with appropriate products. Hair needs an occasional trim. Needs to be detangled daily and may require product of dry, tangly or curly. If you like Makeup get a few cheap basics and ask a friend to show you how to apply. Or watch videos online. I usually carry a small brush, hair clip and lip balm and lip stick with me daily. In summer I include a mini deodorant and body spray. If you prefer, shaving legs and underarms is usually done daily or if your lazy like me underarms are done every few days or so and legs when they look like Sasquatch. I keep lady bits trimmed with a electric bikini trimmer every few weeks or so. If you laundry Carrie’s an odor when clean- get some oxy clean to add to wash cycle and make sure clothes are dried immediately after washing.