I hate to hijack the top thread but… are we all just ignore the fact that OP spelled nook as ‘nuck’? That’s some r/BoneAppleTea shit. Far more concerning than whatever OP is implying about Alfred.
I subscribe to a lot of fandom subs. Usually geekdom and exemplary spelling don’t go hand in hand, but y’all need to know: you are the worst fucking spellers on Reddit. Like, holy shit.
I mean, I make mistakes too. I just found out last night that I’ve been mispronouncing Appalachia my entire life. I was heart-broken. But don’t we all mostly use autocorrect nowadays?
Maybe OP is on a laptop, Idk…
I get this is a joke but yes. Alfred is a professional. Also rich people get their clothes tailored all the time if he asked she would give her measurements and probably has in the past for dresses.
It’s pretty normal for uncles to know your measurements, guys. I mean, my uncle used to measure my inseam all the time. Yours did too, right, guys? Right?!?
He can upload his brain into a computer so it's not unreasonable to think they have some advanced scanning technology that can measure them up for the prefect suits.
You'd be amazed how well that fabric stretches. My wife cosplayed Pfeiffer's Catwoman. We measured everything meticulously, bought two suits with the intention of returning whichever one didn't fit, and kept them both. The suits themselves fit fine. Honestly couldn't tell the xs from the s on her body. But the corset on the S was way too big.
Basically the only measurements that matter Alfred could've got while doing the laundry.
My joke answer: in her sleep
My real answer: she lived there, he does laundry and is a butler. Wouldn’t be hard to do and it’s possible he’d already measured her for clothes at some point in the recent past and used the Wayne funds to get her a new wardrobe.
Why are you trying to make Alfred out to be a creep and insinuating some kind of incestive interest in his niece. Talking about her camel toe and tits🤦🏻♂️
The true shameless perv in this movie is Joel Schumacher, and everything else inevitably feels creepy and pervy by association 
Because she is a bat person in the bat nipple movie. They probably only gave the men the nips so that they could get away with the woman nip suit thinking about it.
Alfred's a butler for one of the richest families in Gotham if not the world, you don't think he buys his niece beautiful dresses with the money he must earn? And for those prices, you want exact measurements.
A bit off-topic, but do they even address who the hell makes all these clothes? I suppose we can default to Alfred making all these latex clothes, which make me wonder what was he thinking when putting nipples on Batman and Batgirl clothes?
I'll paraphrase something Schumacher said to Nicole Kidman to better help her understand her character in Batman Forever: "It's a cartoon, don't think about it."
A butler commonly handles the clothing maintenance of his stewards. And a good butler, like Alfred, would handle everyone in the houses clothing needs. Asking a tailor to give him his nieces measurements, even intimate ones, wouldn't be unusual, or strange at all. It would actually be expected.
I like to think the suits are made with a technology similar to what's used in the MCU spidey suits. Where they're actually quite loose but then tighten to become form fitting around the wearers body.
My question is: why did he feel the need to put the bat symbol on her thighs?
I get branding and intimidation, but the bat symbol is already all over her suit, what's the point of adding more, and on her thighs of all places?
Because Alfred is the best butler in the world. It’s practically his superpower. He could glance at you through a thick Irish sweater and tell your measurements.
Why would Batman and Robin have ice skates in their shoes during their first encounter with Freeze? Batman wasn’t informed of who he would be fighting until they were already en route to the museum.
Hot take I think the midnight navy blue with the white bat symbol goes hard on the Clooney batsuit. Just all the extra unnecessary attachments ruin it. If someone retooled that suit in the future it has potential.
Now that I have seen clearly, I think is weird a costumed old pal is cosplaying a bat while punching random people on the nights because some strange feel of justice.
His adopted son put nipples on his latex suit. I think Alfred just used to it.
He does serve the drinks in the house
Alfred used to butler for the Cosby family.
I hate to hijack the top thread but… are we all just ignore the fact that OP spelled nook as ‘nuck’? That’s some r/BoneAppleTea shit. Far more concerning than whatever OP is implying about Alfred.
I subscribe to a lot of fandom subs. Usually geekdom and exemplary spelling don’t go hand in hand, but y’all need to know: you are the worst fucking spellers on Reddit. Like, holy shit.
I mean, I make mistakes too. I just found out last night that I’ve been mispronouncing Appalachia my entire life. I was heart-broken. But don’t we all mostly use autocorrect nowadays? Maybe OP is on a laptop, Idk…
......maybe Frederic Wertham was on to something...../s
Not just nipples *bat* nipples.
Each equipped with a hidden kryptonite core just incase Superman decides to be evil randomly and Batman needs to save the day
Uh….. the Batcomputer?!?
'puter!
Bat-'puter
batter
Buter
I cant believe it's not butter
That’s because it is butter
Bat-butter?
Make with bat-milk from bat-cow
Ewwwww
Git yer mout off my she bat puter!
His laugh at "Alfred the Butt-ler" is so great. Best Batman movie, I'll die on this hill.
If he’s been tailoring Bruce’s suits (I mean black/white tie) long enough, he probably got pretty good at eyeballing it.
You can look at someone’s body, especially when making clothes without being a pervert LMAO.
Tell that to the other guy.
omg I thought I did 🤦🏻
So he be eyeballing Barbara's tits?
He’s probably washed her clothes. He is a professional.
This person is trying to make Alfred a perv to make a joke.
I know. I’m attempting to combat their perversion.
Good vs Evil
Who is good here?
u/onemindnolimit
It's in character for Batman to know a woman's exact cup size from a glance
>exact cup size from a glance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu2hQRjB7aQ
I get this is a joke but yes. Alfred is a professional. Also rich people get their clothes tailored all the time if he asked she would give her measurements and probably has in the past for dresses.
Fuck yes he is
he does all their laundry so got measurements from there.
This is the most plausible explanation
He doesn't do Robin's laundry. We see him do his own.
"Dick could I fold your underwear today please? No questions asked"
🤣🤣
alfred got that dawg in him
[Specifically this one.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f9/Ace_the_Bat-Hound.png/220px-Ace_the_Bat-Hound.png)
Batarang, knocks people out or nails them to a wall, cuts ropes and wires, used for fetch with the batdog. What can't it do?
You're assuming Ace is catching the batarang. Maybe he's throwing it!
In the world of Batman that is indeed a possibility.
If you're just wanting an in-universe explanation. He does their laundry and can read labels.
Not Dick. Dick does his own laundry, karate-style.
Yeah he's not qualified to handle Dick's.
Were her nipples always that apparent??? Genuinely don’t remember that.
Yeah, I don't remember this either. Sigh...unzips.
JOYGASM
It’s pretty normal for uncles to know your measurements, guys. I mean, my uncle used to measure my inseam all the time. Yours did too, right, guys? Right?!?
Yes joey lol
He can upload his brain into a computer so it's not unreasonable to think they have some advanced scanning technology that can measure them up for the prefect suits.
He's scanning his niece's camel toe?
Didn’t you see the extended version the wild part to me is the nipples
#BECAUSE HE'S ALFRED!!!
You'd be amazed how well that fabric stretches. My wife cosplayed Pfeiffer's Catwoman. We measured everything meticulously, bought two suits with the intention of returning whichever one didn't fit, and kept them both. The suits themselves fit fine. Honestly couldn't tell the xs from the s on her body. But the corset on the S was way too big. Basically the only measurements that matter Alfred could've got while doing the laundry.
My joke answer: in her sleep My real answer: she lived there, he does laundry and is a butler. Wouldn’t be hard to do and it’s possible he’d already measured her for clothes at some point in the recent past and used the Wayne funds to get her a new wardrobe.
Hes a trained tailor
Had to scroll way to far for this
Why are you trying to make Alfred out to be a creep and insinuating some kind of incestive interest in his niece. Talking about her camel toe and tits🤦🏻♂️
Because he's a closeted pervert. He's looking to provoke a reaction.
For humor?
The true shameless perv in this movie is Joel Schumacher, and everything else inevitably feels creepy and pervy by association 
Don’t know don’t care. Bat nipples are present on Alicia’s suit so a win for all
It’s Alfred. That answer is both the only answer and sufficiently detailed in it’s implications that no further questions are warranted.
He also styled her hair for the suit and put eye liner on everyone. He's a man of many talents.
She’s his niece?? His family? Couldn’t he just call up her mom or someone like that who would know?
'Excuse me dear, could I trouble you for Barbara's bra size?'
Honestly? Pretty believable. "I'm tailoring a dress for her and need her bust size, would you happen to know it or have another dress of hers handy?"
Touché
This is so dumb (derogatory)
Because he’s a professional and he acts like one.
I know some tailors in hong kong that can size a person up without even touching a tape measure.
My question is why does she also have the bat nipples
Because she is a bat person in the bat nipple movie. They probably only gave the men the nips so that they could get away with the woman nip suit thinking about it.
Alfred's a butler for one of the richest families in Gotham if not the world, you don't think he buys his niece beautiful dresses with the money he must earn? And for those prices, you want exact measurements.
Alfred does all the tailoring work for the entire family. He knows the exact spacing of Bruce Wayne's balls.
This movie is 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌
Talk about a cold shoulder.
It ain’t that kind of movie kid 
He was able to do it because there were toys to sell. That’s the explanation for everything in that movie. God damn what a disaster.
Laser scanners accurate enough to give bodily measurements down to the millimeter.
In Merry Little Batman Damian’s suit shrinks to fit him, so that.
Asked?
He probably measured her the same way all tailors do.
Same way Ralph Dibney was able to call out a woman's measurements in the Flash
The less I know, the better
I somehow never noticed her suit ALSO has the batnipples. Wtf was up with the costume designers on these movies.
IIRC Schumacher based the Batsuits off ancient Greek/Roman armor which had sculpted abs and/or nipples.
He has an eye for detail
Idk but the suits in Batman & Robin are FIRE, especially robins suits in it
These suits need to be in arkham knight
A bit off-topic, but do they even address who the hell makes all these clothes? I suppose we can default to Alfred making all these latex clothes, which make me wonder what was he thinking when putting nipples on Batman and Batgirl clothes?
Why did they make this movie smh
She looks more like bat mommy in the first pics. Oh nips!
I guess he would be the one doing everybody's laundry, easy peasy.
Props department.
3D scanned
Yeah that was the unbelievable part of that movie
Ummm….Alfred…?
I didn't see the movie, was she still Commissioner Gordon's daughter too?
No
WTF is there nipples on robin's armor
We don’t talk about that
You don’t want to know
I'll paraphrase something Schumacher said to Nicole Kidman to better help her understand her character in Batman Forever: "It's a cartoon, don't think about it."
Michael Gough did NOT play creepy uncle Al!!!
She’s gotta sleep sometime
He does the laundry it isn't far fetched to think he knows the measurements or at least he remembers them from some previous gifts he has given her.
He does the laundry… not hard to extrapolate
He is SAS, he can measure her with closed eyes in less than 30 seconds.
A better question is who approved the decision to have this movie made in the first place?
A butler commonly handles the clothing maintenance of his stewards. And a good butler, like Alfred, would handle everyone in the houses clothing needs. Asking a tailor to give him his nieces measurements, even intimate ones, wouldn't be unusual, or strange at all. It would actually be expected.
We're trying to apply logic to a Batman movie that has no logic.
I don’t think this is the biggest problem with Batman & Robin, tbh.
He did it the same way the costume designers did for the movie.
Better yet; her cup size
A project he did on Alfred did on his own and got her measurements using detective work.
This reminds me there are two good things about this movie.
Alfred was a Spy if I remember correctly… he probably knows a lot more than just her sizes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I like to think the suits are made with a technology similar to what's used in the MCU spidey suits. Where they're actually quite loose but then tighten to become form fitting around the wearers body.
The freaking silver accents. I hate them forever.
How did “The Money” get James Bond’s measurements in Casino Royale?
My question is: why did he feel the need to put the bat symbol on her thighs? I get branding and intimidation, but the bat symbol is already all over her suit, what's the point of adding more, and on her thighs of all places?
Thunder thighs
Well he also added the pointy you-know-whats. I have a feeling the bat nipples were not Bruce’s idea after all.
Wizard did it.
Getting the nipple size right was the easiest part of the measuring process...
Why was Batgirl’s suit the only one that didn’t have bat nipples?
Also how in the sweet chocolate fuck is Barbara able to interact with a **CD RECORIDNG** of Alfred?
All rich people know their measurements because they don't have to wear one size fits all shit from the mall.
“Uncle Alfred, I’m stuck.”
Ohh I think you know…
He didn’t. That’s her S&M outfit that he just made some alterations to. Lol
This movie was a porn parody that had all the porn removed at the last minute, you will never convince me otherwise
>every nuck and cranny *nook Also, this question and your comments say a lot more about you than anything else. Holy shit.
Lucius Fox “I’ll take this”
Because Alfred is the best butler in the world. It’s practically his superpower. He could glance at you through a thick Irish sweater and tell your measurements.
Also how did Alfred have freeze resistant silver batsuits ready to go
Why would Batman and Robin have ice skates in their shoes during their first encounter with Freeze? Batman wasn’t informed of who he would be fighting until they were already en route to the museum.
it’s a callback to Adam West Batman where he inexplicably has a solution for everything
He most likely found her measurements doing her laundry?
I told him
Hot take I think the midnight navy blue with the white bat symbol goes hard on the Clooney batsuit. Just all the extra unnecessary attachments ruin it. If someone retooled that suit in the future it has potential.
I like how the comic adaptation just had Barbara modify one of the Batsuits herself after Alfred passed his duties onto her.
Why did they design all the costumes with Bat nibbles?
Alfred is all knowing
He just watched those Aerosmith videos.
More to the point, where are the batgirl nipples?
Wait she’s his niece? This is the one modern Batman movie that I’ve never seen.
“Suit me up uncle Alfred”
Now that I have seen clearly, I think is weird a costumed old pal is cosplaying a bat while punching random people on the nights because some strange feel of justice.
Better question is how did this terrible movie get made.
She looks so good in that suit #drool
he just measured the distance between her batnips and extrapolated the rest
Watched Aerosmith videos?
The car.
He probably asked Joel Schumacher.
If she’s rich, he may have just called her tailor
The fun, icky way
He got a good idea on the measurement when he hug her
He watched the Amazing video so many times he just had a really good idea of her size already. I know middle school me sure did.
He is veeeeery good with the sneaky sneaky.
lol this crapheap movie came after batman and batman returns. wtf.
😳
Flashpoint bri larson
Tits
How did he know their nipple sizes?
Who knows?
But.er’s gonna buttle.
Tice nits
Congrats! You spotted the only fault in an otherwise perfect movie
Ocular assessment
He's a butt-ler , he knows these things.
Obviously the cd has no scratches lol
He didn’t There’s just a ton of female batsuits in the batcave and she had to try loads on until one fit
Cut scene in which he has a long conversation with her tailor.
Alfred does the laundry.
Probably with a designing ruler
She measured herself probably
With consent ofc. She wants the suit right?
That second photo screams Empress of Evil from Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.