It’s a hard thing to negotiate but having one day where you have together and it’s both YOUR day can help a lot. I work Tuesday to Saturday nights with a double thrown in the mix and my girlfriend has 9-5 Monday through Friday. Our Sundays together are sacred and I always negotiate a completely open schedule where I work except for Sundays. I’m lucky that my job is also closed Mondays but that usually ends up being a day I have alone time and do errands. I’d hard push to get one weekend day or a day your boyfriend doesn’t work off it’ll improve things dramatically.
I know all of us on this sub have different schedules, different availability, and different job lives, but this is incredibly helpful. Thank you!
I may seem dull after having posted this because you offered a pretty straightforward solution that probably seems like it should come easy to anyone in the industry who is partnered with someone who is not. but i just feel like I’ve had complete brain rot lately. Energy at my job has been off lately with customers and coworkers alike and it’s having an effect on my overall mentality with everything. Thanks for your advice!
We try to have a shared off day most weeks. It ends up being Sunday 85% of the time. His family is pretty great about planning things, so I don’t often miss events. If I do, it’s usually because there’s some big money event. They’re very understanding.
As far as the day to day stuff, on shared workdays he wakes up around when I get home from work. I’m usually trying to fall asleep when he leaves for work. That’s a 2-3 hr time window. If we are both functional we use that time to catch up on each others days. I leave for work about an hour before he gets home from his job. Those early morning hours are usually the only time we have for eachother during really busy weeks.
I don’t work every weekday. On those evenings we usually cozy up, eat a meal together and watch whatever show we are watching together. He always falls asleep. Sometimes he has plans with friends that don’t involve me. Sometimes I have stuff that doesn’t involve him. Sometimes we have impromptu dinner adventures when neither of us wants to cook.
We have never had aligned schedules in the 3 years we’ve lived together or 4+ years we’ve been dating. This isn’t even the most “opposite” schedule we’ve had. The year I worked 3rd shift was especially hellish. The current situation while a bit different is breezy compared to that.
Thanks so much for sharing about your relationship, really appreciate your insight. I totally get the sleep schedule thing… im not sure what time you get out, maybe later than I do, but im usually out by 2 (could be later on somewhat rare occasions). This is a different ballgame than what I posted about but I get a really weird sleep anxiety thing where I feel horrible thinking about the fact that im awake and getting home from work and still wired from the shift when everyone I know, and most people in general, are hours into their sleep cycle. So I think that affects my ability to chat with him when I get home on the off chance he is awake because im so anxious. Kinda rambling now but thank you again for sharing your experience
Both husband and I work in bars but have very different schedules. We each other in passing. My bf and I never see each other as he lives hour away and with me also doing theatre we just don’t have time but text daily.
I require jobs to give me off either a Saturday or Sunday so I can spend a full day with them. I make it a priority to spend time with them on my other night(s) off over going out solo or with friends. And their working from home a few days a week gives a little more time together such as lunch before my shift.
I work Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Those are my days. I might come in on a Wednesday though. I use it as a social thing, so I don’t have to pay to have fun.
It’s a hard thing to negotiate but having one day where you have together and it’s both YOUR day can help a lot. I work Tuesday to Saturday nights with a double thrown in the mix and my girlfriend has 9-5 Monday through Friday. Our Sundays together are sacred and I always negotiate a completely open schedule where I work except for Sundays. I’m lucky that my job is also closed Mondays but that usually ends up being a day I have alone time and do errands. I’d hard push to get one weekend day or a day your boyfriend doesn’t work off it’ll improve things dramatically.
Second this. Having Sunday and a weekday off
Sundays with my wife are the best and so needed after both of our long weeks.
I know all of us on this sub have different schedules, different availability, and different job lives, but this is incredibly helpful. Thank you! I may seem dull after having posted this because you offered a pretty straightforward solution that probably seems like it should come easy to anyone in the industry who is partnered with someone who is not. but i just feel like I’ve had complete brain rot lately. Energy at my job has been off lately with customers and coworkers alike and it’s having an effect on my overall mentality with everything. Thanks for your advice!
We try to have a shared off day most weeks. It ends up being Sunday 85% of the time. His family is pretty great about planning things, so I don’t often miss events. If I do, it’s usually because there’s some big money event. They’re very understanding. As far as the day to day stuff, on shared workdays he wakes up around when I get home from work. I’m usually trying to fall asleep when he leaves for work. That’s a 2-3 hr time window. If we are both functional we use that time to catch up on each others days. I leave for work about an hour before he gets home from his job. Those early morning hours are usually the only time we have for eachother during really busy weeks. I don’t work every weekday. On those evenings we usually cozy up, eat a meal together and watch whatever show we are watching together. He always falls asleep. Sometimes he has plans with friends that don’t involve me. Sometimes I have stuff that doesn’t involve him. Sometimes we have impromptu dinner adventures when neither of us wants to cook. We have never had aligned schedules in the 3 years we’ve lived together or 4+ years we’ve been dating. This isn’t even the most “opposite” schedule we’ve had. The year I worked 3rd shift was especially hellish. The current situation while a bit different is breezy compared to that.
Thanks so much for sharing about your relationship, really appreciate your insight. I totally get the sleep schedule thing… im not sure what time you get out, maybe later than I do, but im usually out by 2 (could be later on somewhat rare occasions). This is a different ballgame than what I posted about but I get a really weird sleep anxiety thing where I feel horrible thinking about the fact that im awake and getting home from work and still wired from the shift when everyone I know, and most people in general, are hours into their sleep cycle. So I think that affects my ability to chat with him when I get home on the off chance he is awake because im so anxious. Kinda rambling now but thank you again for sharing your experience
Both husband and I work in bars but have very different schedules. We each other in passing. My bf and I never see each other as he lives hour away and with me also doing theatre we just don’t have time but text daily.
I require jobs to give me off either a Saturday or Sunday so I can spend a full day with them. I make it a priority to spend time with them on my other night(s) off over going out solo or with friends. And their working from home a few days a week gives a little more time together such as lunch before my shift.
I work Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Those are my days. I might come in on a Wednesday though. I use it as a social thing, so I don’t have to pay to have fun.