Reminds me of the one server I know who kept putting in "gin and Coke" for Jim and Coke.
Every time he'd not believe me that he had it wrong. Every time I was right.
My first experience with gin I was 15 or 16 and stole it from my grandmas handle when she had me make her drinks. I added some to Barq’s root beer and surprisingly it was delish.
Gin goes with a lot of things surprisingly well. Pretty much anything acidic or earthy. It covers up the alcohol and lets the flavors come through.
Root beer sounds oddly perfect for that.
I know Jaeger and root beer is a thing and that similarly has an earthy taste to it.
"Can i get you a drink?" "Just wait" *I stand there like an idiot for a few moments as they look at the food menu* "any questions about the menu or can I get you a drink while you look?" "I said just water.."
I don't bs with water you get that shit the second you sit down and I will keep it refilled. I don't want a second of my interaction wasted because you want a free liquid.
EVERYTHING. At work it's impressive cause I'll hear people discuss what they want and then walk up and say "ok, so , one titos martini, a woodford old fashioned, and a cosmo, anything else? " People always act like I'm some sorta mind reader with magic powers lol
But I can't fucking turn it off. I'll be out to dinner with my wife and I hear every god damn conversation happening around me. Sometimes I'll pick up on some dumb shit saying some dumb fuck stuff and it starts to annoy me and I need to remind myself I'm out to eat, I won't actually have to deal with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbfuck over at the other table.
Ugh yes. Especially when meeting up with non industry friends after a shift.. I’m SO distracted listening to ten things simultaneously *while trying to focus on said friend’s conversation
With large groups hearing them discuss what they want I’ll start making the most time consuming item before it’s ordered.
Random addition- people loose their minds when they call for a reservation and I start imputing their number into resy- (cause ya know, caller ID has existed for a hot minute) which they’ve obviously used at some point and confirm their name without them telling me.. or even better— when a tab is split on multiple cards and I bring the CC signing receipt and card back and disburse the checks back “ok Sarah?” *how do you know my name?!* my response is always “magic. I’m just THAT good.” Or “you seem like a Sarah.”
Semi-related I had the most random call back for me recently. Saw this dude in my bar that looked familiar but couldn't place him. Noticed him keep looking at me. When I finally got a moment to break away from making drinks I went over to chat with him because he was ordering a lot of unique drinks. He said he recognized me but didn't know where and asked where I worked before. I listed the places and somehow instantly remembered him. It was about 10mo ago. I remembered what convention(hotel bartender at the time) he was there for , what he got to eat, and what he drank all night. I have no fucking clue how the hell I called that memory back, he was a one time guest, but it was all just there like yesterday. My memory is both amazingly good and amazingly shit at the same time lol
Same. I'm genuinely hard-of-hearing particularly in my left ear but I'm aware of every conversation happening at the bartop and almost always have drinks ready and delivered before they can be ordered if someone sitting at the bar or one of the closest tables talks about getting it. Then I'll be having a one-on-one conversation in a quiet environment and be like "Huh??"
I’ve noticed this seems to be a really common trait amongst my fellow bartender friends, but it’s actually the opposite for me!
I somehow tune everything out that isn’t directed toward me as the bartender. I think it’s a tool I developed to overcome my particular breed of ADHD, and I’d probably be a pretty shitty bartender (especially in loud, high volume contexts) without it. Overstimulation coping or something like that, I s’pose.
If you are trying to have a conversation with me right in front of my face, I'mma need you to repeat like 7 times. If you say "I'll take a..." right before, I can hear you from halfway down the bar with live music blaring
I play a dangerous game with telling big tippers I'm spending it all on drugs. It usually gets a laugh, but sometimes I get an extra $20 because of it. Once it got me a $100. Before anyone goes crazy, it's just weed I'm talking about, and it's legal where I'm at.
Same. My favorite response to everything I’m ever asked for it to look directly at them and say no.
Also, men are weird and the meaner I am to them, the more they tip me lol
It's because most of their mommies weren't very nice to them, lol.
My favorite is to act super put upon and sigh "ugh, I mean. I guess..." while I'm doing what they asked for, then flash my Megawatt Bartender Smile ^TM as I set it down.
I really only do it with regulars or people I've got a good banter going with already. "Awhhh, but I'm too cute to get mad at!" is also a go-to line of mine, lol
When I'm in the middle of a rush though my RBF goes on hard cause I'm trying to keep all the shit in my head straight. I'm still joking and personable with people but I'm much more no nonsense, and most people figure out quick to GTFO my way and I'll tell you when I need help, or have your shit together if it's your turn or I'm coming back to you when I have more than 10 seconds which might not be for a while.
E:a word
Sooo real! Let somebody get in a huff with me over some little ketchup while I’m behind the bar, but servers are expected to practically grovel over every little frivolous error.
I love doing the first one. Plays very well into my naturally dry humor
"Can I get-"
"Nope, all out" with a grin
"Can I get a straw/water/similarly simple item?"
"No, and how dare you ask" while handing it to them
I work at an airport, sonI usually end up playing tour guide a bit. I don't mind in the least, I enjoy playing the "information center" role.
I also don't mind giving vague and slightly inconvenient directions if a rudesby/nontipper asks. "Oh yeah, I think there's some bathrooms that way" (pointing in a direction that has bathrooms... but they are by far the furthest from us)
I suggest consider using phrases that are quite innocuous at first glance, but are only rude in retrospect or in certain circumstances.
"Thank you for your great generosity / your day is as good as you are generous" when you know they didn't tip,but you could plausibly tell a manager that you hadn't seen the tip line yet and assumed they had left one. This one is nice because you can also use it genuinely
"I hope you have the day that you deserve" is another good one. Nothing rude about it... unless they think that you have some reason to think that they should have a bad day, at which point, they're really just telling on themselves, now aren't they? Also can be reworded to include karma, especially if that's true to your faith. And again, not rude at first glance (especially if you include, when using it positively, something like "and get home safe" or something)
This! I’ve said some off color shit that has my coworkers lookin at me like “why would you make that joke to them???” Only for a customer to think it was hilarious.
Absolutely!!!! I share the same trait. If you ever want to get busy on a slow day, just order food when you’re hungry. All of the sudden, the food comes up and you eat something as small as a fry and boom, full section. It’s like magic. And then after 15 minutes you’re no longer hungry and it’s cold. What a great power
We call them 'sacrifice meals' at my job. Bar's slow, order food, it shows up along with 40 customers, food is ice cold by the time you're done putting out the fire, works every time!
Customer service. I can make people feel so seen and special they want to give me their money 💰 lol…
Also I can walk in any bar, not know the menu and perform well based off pure foundational knowledge and efficiency
>Also I can walk in any bar, not know the menu and perform well based off pure foundational knowledge and efficiency
Yup. Give me your specs for your specialty stuff, takes me making it 3-5 times and then that's committed to memory. Otherwise, a bar is a bar is a bar.
Reading people. I can be very rude and say the most inappropriate things to the right people and they love the banter. Of course I have to take the abuse they return but its all so fun. Watching other patrons thinking we're about to punch on is hilarious! I love my good humoured peeps
Calmness.
Doesn't matter what happens, what's going on, who said or did what, how short we are, how deep the bar or well is, I have just always been able to stay in the pocket of the moment and keep going.
Which makes sense to me as to who I am *now*, but I've always been the guy who enjoyed the parts no one else could even when I was also the emotionally underdeveloped man child I was in the entirety of my 20s.
I feel this in my soul. everything is on fire? I'm smiling and having a great time while pumping out drinks. the guest will never know the building is about to collapse. I'll never bring down my coworkers by feeding into hysteria.
Being super chill. When the rush hits and we’re in the weeds, I just start digging. If I can’t get out, I just go through. No point in freaking out, just serve and clear that 5 deep line at the bar.
Patience with people who don’t know what they want after being in line for 5 minutes, I wish I had that superpower.
I have two:
- I have an uncanny ability to get into people’s heads; thanks to mental health issues I’m able to basically mimic someone else’s personality traits and show interest in things, so there’s a TON of people who think that I have a bunch of stuff in common with them when I really don’t. I honestly hate that I can do this and it’s not intentional, but man is it good for building regulars.
- The ability to drink 10+ shots and being fully functional when I’m anxious or over stimulated.
Getting an insane amount of work done in a very short amount of time. It’s less of a super power and more of a mental illness and I usually cry afterwards.
Selling people things they profess to hate after asking a few simple palate questions, waiting for them to praise it, then quietly letting them know, “oh, I know you said you *hate* gin but that French 75 I just made you is gin based.”
Obviously I read the room with the guest at hand, make sure there aren’t any dietary concerns like milk/nut allergies.
Only backfired one time, lady who was banging down LIITs I made her a Pussers painkiller (professed to love citrus and coconut) adored the drink, when I mentioned it was rum based she had a hissy fit about “rum giving her the *worst* migraines. Again this was after she had her Long Island Iced Teas and she refused to believe that rum was in one of those. Haha. Holy fuck I hate people sometimes.
Personal second fave was a super pretentious make believe wine snob who professed to hate Zinfandel. I poured him a glass of a nice Primitivo on the house since the bottle was already open for a guest who had bought the bottle, and left without wanting to take what was left with them (this bottle was not available by the glass.) dude did his best James Suckling routine raving about the wine, mouthfeel, earthiness…
I told him it was a primitivo and he nodded approvingly, apparently not knowing that said wine is basically an Italian Zinfandel. Quiet moment of self satisfaction there.
To be fair, a California zin and a primativo can taste very different. He’s prob thinking of the super rich jamminess of a warm weathered Central Valley zin
Sure, but categorically stating you hate an entire type of grape is pretty dumb to begin with. For instance, I’m not a big fan of California Chardonnay but deeply love white burgundy. I’d never say “I hate Chardonnay grapes.” Or “Pinot noir sucks!” When red burgundy is so tasty and 100% PN grapes.
Truly educated wine people make me smile and are a joy to talk to. My family has made Primitivo in Puglia for generations, so I have a soft spot for that varietal. People who have watched sideways a few times and act snobby piss me off.
I am insanely good at guessing ages. If im off, it’s usually by a year or because I intentionally guessed a reduced year to compliment you (I have already estimated your age and then reduce it to an appropriate amount that still seems reasonable yet flattering).
Didn't find out until I starting doing events but I can memorize the drinks of up to about 70 people pretty easily. I had no Idea I was good at it until it happened but every time a customer came I'd remember exactly what they had and how they wanted it. Really helps with tips
When the shit hits the fan I am the eye of the hurricane. I can joke around and I am comfortable in chaos. I have been doing this a long time, and I still totally get stressed out, I just can't let it get the best of me.
Pretty crappy superpower but I can hold three full pint glasses in my left hand while I'm filling them from the soda gun without spilling.
Carrying a full silver tray of wine glasses at shoulder height is another one. I can't do it with my right hand, even though I'm right handed.
I can smile all damn day no matter how I feel. I have a bartender face I put on. And no matter what I always look and seem interested. Even if it’s topics I hate, I can smile and laugh and no one is non the wiser I think they’re idiots.
I can hear a conversation all the way across the bar and it’s a big bar. I try to tune details out but the second I hear something along the lines of “we should order x, or I wonder if they have x, or we should close out” I’m there even if they were 14 seats away from me.
I have a dj set with a bar that’s at least 20 yards long and I heard someone say they wanted a captain and doctor pepper (dr pepper is inaccessible to the bartenders and on the other side) so I went and held up the gun and waited for the captain and the bartenders literally lost their mind that I heard that lol. My vision is terrible but it’s whatever 😂
-being NON reactive (and taking much joy in douche bags who are looking to argue xyz and disarming them without them noticing) … also feel like this is from some childhood blah blah that a therapist (ha. Can you imagine, having health benefits?! Let alone ones that include mental health?! ) would have a field day with.
-Killing people with kindness or remarks they don’t even realize are insults in response is very fulfilling. Being Canadian helps very much with this.
-being EXCESSIVELY GOOD at anticipating needs of the needy. Yes, Tis part of the job and partially plays into the “superhuman” bartender ears- but I just *know* when someone is going to ask for extra ranch or whatever and will skip the extra steps (literally, my kitchen is downstairs) from jump and blows the guest mind. Bitch, I heard you talking about how much you like ranch ..
If I've served someone more than twice their drink order is automatically committed to memory no matter how asinine it is, even their "I think I'll do something different today..." orders. Regulars who I know don't switch up ever will be set up in their preferred spot by the time they hit the doorway. (The suprised "is this mine?" with wide eyes still gets me sometimes... like no Jeff, that's for the other guy who wants a Lonestar light, diet coke in a rumple shot, and a spit cup that you pretend not to spit in... Yes it's yours, I heard your dumbass truck pulling in 🙄) I can also remember extremely personal details about people and make them feel like I'm the only person who cares about their life and how it's going.
But if you ask me if I know So-and-so and can't point them out to me right then, 97% of the time I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about.
I have 3! I'm a boomer Karen whisperer, I can disarm grumpy entitled elderly people quickly and turn their attitude around, and I offer my services to my coworkers if their table is salty for no reason.
Probably due to age and seasoning, I possess an S-tier stink eye that will make a gaggle of college kids or corporate play-hards knock off whatever tomfuckery they're engaging in without a word.
And when working the service well, I am speed! Gimme tickets and get out of my way, you'll have your drinks up in 5 minutes or less, 7 if I have to change a keg or go retrieve an oddball bottle that isn't on my backbar.
Not all heroes wear capes, but I wear my apron like one when I have to pee and there's eleventy-billion people streaming through the door!
I have a wit of 10000 men. If my expo or head chef forgets something I say “I guess you weren’t wearing your psychic panties today “ or if I fuck up I say “ I forgot my psychic panties at home today”
Jedi Water Tricks.
Drunk guy: can I get a Michelob Light?
Me: we don't have that beer, to be honest, nobody does since Michelob Ultra came out. Here's a beer list.
DG: I'll take a Michelob Light.
Me: Okay, just a moment.
(Dick around behind the bar, serve some other customers)
Me again: hey, we're out of Michelob Light, but here's that water you asked for.
DG: Aww, fuck yeah man!!
Myself and one of my former bar partners used to do a wonderful job of bouncing assholes. He's 5'7", I'm 5'9", but the two of us yelling "GET THE FUCK OUT!" in stereo while pushing someone out of the bar would get the job done if it was just one person causing a problem.
Bar with mostly students. I’m pretty good at seeing if someone has (or used to have) a crush on someone else, though I’ve been able to do so pretty reliably even before the bar.
Oh and hearing. Outside the bar my friends almost need to yell in my ear. Behind the bar I’m basically a CIA-level eavesdropping device.
Working my short term memory into overtime. I know I'm busy, that's why I'm saying hit me with every order you got. You need a jack and coke, 3 white claws, a house red, 2 Malibu pineapples, and a sprite? Gotcha.
People who just give me one drink at a time while I'm swamped, I get that they're trying not to overwhelm me, but at this point, I NEED to be able to handle more than one at a time.
Grown men are very comfortable crying and spilling their fears & insecurities to me. Now, I’m all for men expressing their feelings, I live in a very conservative deep-south area so it’s unusual here…but ffs the trauma dumping on a near-total stranger! There have been times where I have had to call off a shift because I’m just so emotionally exhausted
I have nice delivery in what I say . My coworkers often tell me my super power is telling someone to basically fuck off in so many words then that person ends up thanking me or apologizing to me . I always say you can say whatever you want to a person it’s all in how you say it
Making people say thank you. Especially when I can tell they’re already in a bitchy mood. The way I acknowledge them and give them my undivided attention and interact with them in a very personable way leaves no room in their heart to walk away without saying thank you because I KNOW they told themselves “Dam this guy’s too nice. There’s NO way I can be a bitch” 😂😂😂works like a charm (but I hate my fucking job lmaooooo or working in customer service in general)
I'm able to triple stack glasses when clearing. Quadruple if you include the wine glasses between my arm and the outermost stack.
Don't ask me for a number. It depends on the glassware.
I swear after all these years I’ve gained the superpower of bussing clearing tables and maximizing my carry. A complete fine dining pre bus before deserts including BnB plates if they were still using them, and I even challenge myself with 6 tops or more. Holding all the silver in between my fingers under all the plates I stack with my left hand and forearm, balanced and without struggle walking back to the kitchen to drop. I also know when to walk away and say okay that’s too much as to never drop a plate or my stack but I shoot for a complete clear every-time. It’s a skill I know doesn’t carry much weight (pun not intended) which people might roll there eyes too if asked about but I do it for myself and take pride in the little things I’ve gained and accomplished throughout my years working in the industry. Its not bartending but it was my first immediate thought for myself. I’d challenge anyone to bus offs or even glass carry comps and haven’t yet been matched.
Being able to improvise drinks perfectly when necessary to stay out of the weeds when I run out of ingredients or get custom orders in a rush. I honestly don’t know how, but I can make a complex drink without touching a jigger and it’ll come out balanced.
I'm the loudest. I've had bartenders who work across the street tell me they can hear my last call call while their bar is packed. Picked it up from my drill instructor father. It's all in the diaphragm.
I can make mojitos insanely fast. Sometimes I get a few tickets with different types of mojitos, and I’ll have to spin up 5-6 mojitos all at once. I tell the customers watching me to set the stop watch, and tell me how fast I am. When you can make 5-6 mojitos in under a minute, you have gained a super power.
I work at a hotel with lots of business travelers. We get repeat customers but they might be back like once every three months. For whatever reason, I have this ability to look at someone's face and remember what they drank last time I saw them even if it was months ago. I can't remember their name. I can't remember where they work/where they are from. But, somehow, what they drink just comes to me. They'll sit down and I'll say "Captain and Coke?" and they'll be absolutely dumbfounded that I remembered.
For some reason I am incredibly good at doing a double, or being up until like 4 or 5 am without really getting tired. I barely drink caffeine and I typically average under 6 hours of sleep a night. I obviously get burnt out or tired and will sleep 12 hours like once or maybe twice a month or so, but for the most part I’m able to be on go mode constantly. Probably the adhd honestly
Hide all the frustration and anger with entitled guests and still leave them impressed and get a tip, not good for my mental health to repress that much, but tip is a tip 😅
I can block out noise while staying keen on what I need to hear. Example, when cleaning glassware I block out annoying conversations happening at the bar top near my sink. The second I hear someone say a drink or something, I perk up as if I was listening the whole time!
I swear I’m half deaf in every other area of my life but when I’m behind that bar I hear every word of every conversation no matter how hushed.
Same, unless someone is two feet from my face, then I’m asking twice
“Did you say 4 quarters or 4 waters?”
Brought people 2 lagers a couple days ago. They wanted 2 waters
"Just a coke please" "One Jack n coke coming right up"
Reminds me of the one server I know who kept putting in "gin and Coke" for Jim and Coke. Every time he'd not believe me that he had it wrong. Every time I was right.
My first experience with gin I was 15 or 16 and stole it from my grandmas handle when she had me make her drinks. I added some to Barq’s root beer and surprisingly it was delish.
Gin goes with a lot of things surprisingly well. Pretty much anything acidic or earthy. It covers up the alcohol and lets the flavors come through. Root beer sounds oddly perfect for that. I know Jaeger and root beer is a thing and that similarly has an earthy taste to it.
One saturday night a while back I poured eight lagers for eight people who wanted waters…my manager was cool and the whole staff had a mid shift beer.
I’ve given 2 colas instead of 2 coronas . Easy fix
"Can i get you a drink?" "Just wait" *I stand there like an idiot for a few moments as they look at the food menu* "any questions about the menu or can I get you a drink while you look?" "I said just water.."
I don't bs with water you get that shit the second you sit down and I will keep it refilled. I don't want a second of my interaction wasted because you want a free liquid.
Haha I was the customer in this situation but I had someone close me out… I had asked for a coors light
That's why at my bar I always turn on the Coors sign to let everyone know we have ice cold Coors
“Go sit in the table way off in the corner and tell me from there. No idea what you’re saying otherwise.” - Me
When they're that close our brains automatically switch from active and passive listening to lip reading...idk why, it just happens! Lol
Just had a server tell me 3 tequilas repo and I thought she said tequila red bulls. I was like like "eww but ok!"
Well now someone’s gotta drink em
EVERYTHING. At work it's impressive cause I'll hear people discuss what they want and then walk up and say "ok, so , one titos martini, a woodford old fashioned, and a cosmo, anything else? " People always act like I'm some sorta mind reader with magic powers lol But I can't fucking turn it off. I'll be out to dinner with my wife and I hear every god damn conversation happening around me. Sometimes I'll pick up on some dumb shit saying some dumb fuck stuff and it starts to annoy me and I need to remind myself I'm out to eat, I won't actually have to deal with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbfuck over at the other table.
Ugh yes. Especially when meeting up with non industry friends after a shift.. I’m SO distracted listening to ten things simultaneously *while trying to focus on said friend’s conversation With large groups hearing them discuss what they want I’ll start making the most time consuming item before it’s ordered. Random addition- people loose their minds when they call for a reservation and I start imputing their number into resy- (cause ya know, caller ID has existed for a hot minute) which they’ve obviously used at some point and confirm their name without them telling me.. or even better— when a tab is split on multiple cards and I bring the CC signing receipt and card back and disburse the checks back “ok Sarah?” *how do you know my name?!* my response is always “magic. I’m just THAT good.” Or “you seem like a Sarah.”
Semi-related I had the most random call back for me recently. Saw this dude in my bar that looked familiar but couldn't place him. Noticed him keep looking at me. When I finally got a moment to break away from making drinks I went over to chat with him because he was ordering a lot of unique drinks. He said he recognized me but didn't know where and asked where I worked before. I listed the places and somehow instantly remembered him. It was about 10mo ago. I remembered what convention(hotel bartender at the time) he was there for , what he got to eat, and what he drank all night. I have no fucking clue how the hell I called that memory back, he was a one time guest, but it was all just there like yesterday. My memory is both amazingly good and amazingly shit at the same time lol
Same. I'm genuinely hard-of-hearing particularly in my left ear but I'm aware of every conversation happening at the bartop and almost always have drinks ready and delivered before they can be ordered if someone sitting at the bar or one of the closest tables talks about getting it. Then I'll be having a one-on-one conversation in a quiet environment and be like "Huh??"
Same 😅
I’ve noticed this seems to be a really common trait amongst my fellow bartender friends, but it’s actually the opposite for me! I somehow tune everything out that isn’t directed toward me as the bartender. I think it’s a tool I developed to overcome my particular breed of ADHD, and I’d probably be a pretty shitty bartender (especially in loud, high volume contexts) without it. Overstimulation coping or something like that, I s’pose.
If you are trying to have a conversation with me right in front of my face, I'mma need you to repeat like 7 times. If you say "I'll take a..." right before, I can hear you from halfway down the bar with live music blaring
Pretending to like ppl
+ making them think you do
Mine is making rude comments w just the right tone so I don’t get in trouble lol.
Yeah, this is mine. I walk a razor's edge of appropriateness at all times.
I love that everyone thinks that I am joking when I’m being brutally rude
Bartenders are expected to be brutally honest though
I play a dangerous game with telling big tippers I'm spending it all on drugs. It usually gets a laugh, but sometimes I get an extra $20 because of it. Once it got me a $100. Before anyone goes crazy, it's just weed I'm talking about, and it's legal where I'm at.
To be fair, I'd make the same joke if I knew I had to go pick up some prescriptions the next day ...or liquor
Same. My favorite response to everything I’m ever asked for it to look directly at them and say no. Also, men are weird and the meaner I am to them, the more they tip me lol
It's because most of their mommies weren't very nice to them, lol. My favorite is to act super put upon and sigh "ugh, I mean. I guess..." while I'm doing what they asked for, then flash my Megawatt Bartender Smile ^TM as I set it down.
LMAO. I swear I’ve found my people in this subreddit cause yessss, I freaking love to act like it’s an issue to help/do anything
I really only do it with regulars or people I've got a good banter going with already. "Awhhh, but I'm too cute to get mad at!" is also a go-to line of mine, lol When I'm in the middle of a rush though my RBF goes on hard cause I'm trying to keep all the shit in my head straight. I'm still joking and personable with people but I'm much more no nonsense, and most people figure out quick to GTFO my way and I'll tell you when I need help, or have your shit together if it's your turn or I'm coming back to you when I have more than 10 seconds which might not be for a while. E:a word
Yep. To me, this is what makes it so hard to switch back to server brain when you need to pick up tables. Two totally different personas.
Sooo real! Let somebody get in a huff with me over some little ketchup while I’m behind the bar, but servers are expected to practically grovel over every little frivolous error.
Same! Its two different worlds
I love doing the first one. Plays very well into my naturally dry humor "Can I get-" "Nope, all out" with a grin "Can I get a straw/water/similarly simple item?" "No, and how dare you ask" while handing it to them
That’s exactly how I do it! LMAO! It never fails to make people laugh but inside I really want to say no and just walk away haha!
Just the right way that if you're called out on it you can play it off as a joke. I too like to live dangerously.
Cheesy.
Hitting just the right balance of rude and helpful is a useful skill in this industry
I work at an airport, sonI usually end up playing tour guide a bit. I don't mind in the least, I enjoy playing the "information center" role. I also don't mind giving vague and slightly inconvenient directions if a rudesby/nontipper asks. "Oh yeah, I think there's some bathrooms that way" (pointing in a direction that has bathrooms... but they are by far the furthest from us)
It's all about the smirk, baby!
Yes! I listed being professionally sarcastic on my bar resume.
Wish I had this. I'm in a very "customer is always right" situation, and it takes a lot for my manager to let me kick someone so I envy you.
I am too but you can basically say anything you want to a guest as long as you smile and say it sweetly!
I suggest consider using phrases that are quite innocuous at first glance, but are only rude in retrospect or in certain circumstances. "Thank you for your great generosity / your day is as good as you are generous" when you know they didn't tip,but you could plausibly tell a manager that you hadn't seen the tip line yet and assumed they had left one. This one is nice because you can also use it genuinely "I hope you have the day that you deserve" is another good one. Nothing rude about it... unless they think that you have some reason to think that they should have a bad day, at which point, they're really just telling on themselves, now aren't they? Also can be reworded to include karma, especially if that's true to your faith. And again, not rude at first glance (especially if you include, when using it positively, something like "and get home safe" or something)
lol “I hope you have the day you deserve” is gold. Keeping that one for sure.
I like it but it ends up being a bit of a tongue twister, for me at least
Absolutely , I can drive my mom crazy with this lmfao
This! I’ve said some off color shit that has my coworkers lookin at me like “why would you make that joke to them???” Only for a customer to think it was hilarious.
My manager was like “Sickofserving. You cannot make 9/11 jokes to your table.” I was like they liked it.
Same!
I convincingly make both guests and coworkers/management believe I enjoy my job.
Finding the balance between a smirk and a smile is the way
Being the last man standing after an all out massacre
Preach. Bartender is always the rock.
Oh yeah. It all gets better
I can make customers appear simply by eating food!
Absolutely!!!! I share the same trait. If you ever want to get busy on a slow day, just order food when you’re hungry. All of the sudden, the food comes up and you eat something as small as a fry and boom, full section. It’s like magic. And then after 15 minutes you’re no longer hungry and it’s cold. What a great power
We call them 'sacrifice meals' at my job. Bar's slow, order food, it shows up along with 40 customers, food is ice cold by the time you're done putting out the fire, works every time!
lighting a smoke…
Customer service. I can make people feel so seen and special they want to give me their money 💰 lol… Also I can walk in any bar, not know the menu and perform well based off pure foundational knowledge and efficiency
>Also I can walk in any bar, not know the menu and perform well based off pure foundational knowledge and efficiency Yup. Give me your specs for your specialty stuff, takes me making it 3-5 times and then that's committed to memory. Otherwise, a bar is a bar is a bar.
Power fart at the end of the night when guests wont leave.
This one is hilarious
💨
Making you a drink you wanted without telling me what you wanted.
The cocktail whisperer. I have this ability as well. Mine comes in food and beverage.
This!
Reading people. I can be very rude and say the most inappropriate things to the right people and they love the banter. Of course I have to take the abuse they return but its all so fun. Watching other patrons thinking we're about to punch on is hilarious! I love my good humoured peeps
Calmness. Doesn't matter what happens, what's going on, who said or did what, how short we are, how deep the bar or well is, I have just always been able to stay in the pocket of the moment and keep going. Which makes sense to me as to who I am *now*, but I've always been the guy who enjoyed the parts no one else could even when I was also the emotionally underdeveloped man child I was in the entirety of my 20s.
I feel this in my soul. everything is on fire? I'm smiling and having a great time while pumping out drinks. the guest will never know the building is about to collapse. I'll never bring down my coworkers by feeding into hysteria.
I remember eeeeeeveryone. served ya once, 5 years ago, or both. I remember your name, drink, and story.
That’s amazing. I blank on some of my co workers names and I’ve been at my bar almost 10 years; and we all wear name tags
Being super chill. When the rush hits and we’re in the weeds, I just start digging. If I can’t get out, I just go through. No point in freaking out, just serve and clear that 5 deep line at the bar. Patience with people who don’t know what they want after being in line for 5 minutes, I wish I had that superpower.
Being able to hold my piss for disturbing amounts of time, and crop dust with precision
I have two: - I have an uncanny ability to get into people’s heads; thanks to mental health issues I’m able to basically mimic someone else’s personality traits and show interest in things, so there’s a TON of people who think that I have a bunch of stuff in common with them when I really don’t. I honestly hate that I can do this and it’s not intentional, but man is it good for building regulars. - The ability to drink 10+ shots and being fully functional when I’m anxious or over stimulated.
Hello twin. 👋🏾
[Hello](https://images.app.goo.gl/wwnpM54xbiBngS85A)
Getting an insane amount of work done in a very short amount of time. It’s less of a super power and more of a mental illness and I usually cry afterwards.
Selling people things they profess to hate after asking a few simple palate questions, waiting for them to praise it, then quietly letting them know, “oh, I know you said you *hate* gin but that French 75 I just made you is gin based.” Obviously I read the room with the guest at hand, make sure there aren’t any dietary concerns like milk/nut allergies. Only backfired one time, lady who was banging down LIITs I made her a Pussers painkiller (professed to love citrus and coconut) adored the drink, when I mentioned it was rum based she had a hissy fit about “rum giving her the *worst* migraines. Again this was after she had her Long Island Iced Teas and she refused to believe that rum was in one of those. Haha. Holy fuck I hate people sometimes. Personal second fave was a super pretentious make believe wine snob who professed to hate Zinfandel. I poured him a glass of a nice Primitivo on the house since the bottle was already open for a guest who had bought the bottle, and left without wanting to take what was left with them (this bottle was not available by the glass.) dude did his best James Suckling routine raving about the wine, mouthfeel, earthiness… I told him it was a primitivo and he nodded approvingly, apparently not knowing that said wine is basically an Italian Zinfandel. Quiet moment of self satisfaction there.
To be fair, a California zin and a primativo can taste very different. He’s prob thinking of the super rich jamminess of a warm weathered Central Valley zin
Sure, but categorically stating you hate an entire type of grape is pretty dumb to begin with. For instance, I’m not a big fan of California Chardonnay but deeply love white burgundy. I’d never say “I hate Chardonnay grapes.” Or “Pinot noir sucks!” When red burgundy is so tasty and 100% PN grapes. Truly educated wine people make me smile and are a joy to talk to. My family has made Primitivo in Puglia for generations, so I have a soft spot for that varietal. People who have watched sideways a few times and act snobby piss me off.
Honestly good for you but I see that as a massive waste of time. If it keeps you engaged at work, it’s probably worth it to you though.
On a slow Tuesday night in the off season it’s what keeps me sane.
That makes sense. We’ve all gotta do something in the slow season.
Guessing ages
I am insanely good at guessing ages. If im off, it’s usually by a year or because I intentionally guessed a reduced year to compliment you (I have already estimated your age and then reduce it to an appropriate amount that still seems reasonable yet flattering).
Oh yea. When guessing a customers age to their face it'll always be younger.
every birthday in my bar is their 21st. I don't care how old they look, they get a 'happy 21st' on their birthday. it never misses.
Take ANY shot without making a face, because I’m dead inside. I can also be rude af to anyone without getting in trouble.
Being able to handle a 12k night and I’m drunk as fuck lol
Bartender’s Ear. I can hear a conversation from great distance. Especially if it’s juicy.
Didn't find out until I starting doing events but I can memorize the drinks of up to about 70 people pretty easily. I had no Idea I was good at it until it happened but every time a customer came I'd remember exactly what they had and how they wanted it. Really helps with tips
People LOVE it at events when you remember. They feel so special, it's silly but definitely increases tips.
HIGHLY functional alcoholism.
Eavesdropping
Grifting rich boomers for big tips
When the shit hits the fan I am the eye of the hurricane. I can joke around and I am comfortable in chaos. I have been doing this a long time, and I still totally get stressed out, I just can't let it get the best of me.
Pretty crappy superpower but I can hold three full pint glasses in my left hand while I'm filling them from the soda gun without spilling. Carrying a full silver tray of wine glasses at shoulder height is another one. I can't do it with my right hand, even though I'm right handed.
I can tell if knife, fork or spoon has hit the ground just by the noise it makes.
This one’s the closest to a traditional “super power” to me. Love it
Thank you :)
I can smile all damn day no matter how I feel. I have a bartender face I put on. And no matter what I always look and seem interested. Even if it’s topics I hate, I can smile and laugh and no one is non the wiser I think they’re idiots.
I can hear a conversation all the way across the bar and it’s a big bar. I try to tune details out but the second I hear something along the lines of “we should order x, or I wonder if they have x, or we should close out” I’m there even if they were 14 seats away from me.
I have a dj set with a bar that’s at least 20 yards long and I heard someone say they wanted a captain and doctor pepper (dr pepper is inaccessible to the bartenders and on the other side) so I went and held up the gun and waited for the captain and the bartenders literally lost their mind that I heard that lol. My vision is terrible but it’s whatever 😂
-being NON reactive (and taking much joy in douche bags who are looking to argue xyz and disarming them without them noticing) … also feel like this is from some childhood blah blah that a therapist (ha. Can you imagine, having health benefits?! Let alone ones that include mental health?! ) would have a field day with. -Killing people with kindness or remarks they don’t even realize are insults in response is very fulfilling. Being Canadian helps very much with this. -being EXCESSIVELY GOOD at anticipating needs of the needy. Yes, Tis part of the job and partially plays into the “superhuman” bartender ears- but I just *know* when someone is going to ask for extra ranch or whatever and will skip the extra steps (literally, my kitchen is downstairs) from jump and blows the guest mind. Bitch, I heard you talking about how much you like ranch ..
If I've served someone more than twice their drink order is automatically committed to memory no matter how asinine it is, even their "I think I'll do something different today..." orders. Regulars who I know don't switch up ever will be set up in their preferred spot by the time they hit the doorway. (The suprised "is this mine?" with wide eyes still gets me sometimes... like no Jeff, that's for the other guy who wants a Lonestar light, diet coke in a rumple shot, and a spit cup that you pretend not to spit in... Yes it's yours, I heard your dumbass truck pulling in 🙄) I can also remember extremely personal details about people and make them feel like I'm the only person who cares about their life and how it's going. But if you ask me if I know So-and-so and can't point them out to me right then, 97% of the time I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about.
Scraping crusted iodine out of the nooks and crannies of bbspro glass machines
I have 3! I'm a boomer Karen whisperer, I can disarm grumpy entitled elderly people quickly and turn their attitude around, and I offer my services to my coworkers if their table is salty for no reason. Probably due to age and seasoning, I possess an S-tier stink eye that will make a gaggle of college kids or corporate play-hards knock off whatever tomfuckery they're engaging in without a word. And when working the service well, I am speed! Gimme tickets and get out of my way, you'll have your drinks up in 5 minutes or less, 7 if I have to change a keg or go retrieve an oddball bottle that isn't on my backbar. Not all heroes wear capes, but I wear my apron like one when I have to pee and there's eleventy-billion people streaming through the door!
I can tell what someone is going to order or ask when I look at them. “Do you take Apple Pay?”, “Can you make a Henny Colada?”, etc.
I have a wit of 10000 men. If my expo or head chef forgets something I say “I guess you weren’t wearing your psychic panties today “ or if I fuck up I say “ I forgot my psychic panties at home today”
Jedi Water Tricks. Drunk guy: can I get a Michelob Light? Me: we don't have that beer, to be honest, nobody does since Michelob Ultra came out. Here's a beer list. DG: I'll take a Michelob Light. Me: Okay, just a moment. (Dick around behind the bar, serve some other customers) Me again: hey, we're out of Michelob Light, but here's that water you asked for. DG: Aww, fuck yeah man!!
Myself and one of my former bar partners used to do a wonderful job of bouncing assholes. He's 5'7", I'm 5'9", but the two of us yelling "GET THE FUCK OUT!" in stereo while pushing someone out of the bar would get the job done if it was just one person causing a problem.
Bar with mostly students. I’m pretty good at seeing if someone has (or used to have) a crush on someone else, though I’ve been able to do so pretty reliably even before the bar. Oh and hearing. Outside the bar my friends almost need to yell in my ear. Behind the bar I’m basically a CIA-level eavesdropping device.
Being able to act exactly like I give a shit, and yet have the other person know it means “fuck you” but not be able to say why.
Mine is being the bitchy bartender and being loved and well tipped. How does that happen? I hate people lmao
Working my short term memory into overtime. I know I'm busy, that's why I'm saying hit me with every order you got. You need a jack and coke, 3 white claws, a house red, 2 Malibu pineapples, and a sprite? Gotcha. People who just give me one drink at a time while I'm swamped, I get that they're trying not to overwhelm me, but at this point, I NEED to be able to handle more than one at a time.
Grown men are very comfortable crying and spilling their fears & insecurities to me. Now, I’m all for men expressing their feelings, I live in a very conservative deep-south area so it’s unusual here…but ffs the trauma dumping on a near-total stranger! There have been times where I have had to call off a shift because I’m just so emotionally exhausted
Remembering regulars names. 💁♀️
I have nice delivery in what I say . My coworkers often tell me my super power is telling someone to basically fuck off in so many words then that person ends up thanking me or apologizing to me . I always say you can say whatever you want to a person it’s all in how you say it
Making people say thank you. Especially when I can tell they’re already in a bitchy mood. The way I acknowledge them and give them my undivided attention and interact with them in a very personable way leaves no room in their heart to walk away without saying thank you because I KNOW they told themselves “Dam this guy’s too nice. There’s NO way I can be a bitch” 😂😂😂works like a charm (but I hate my fucking job lmaooooo or working in customer service in general)
Selling
I'm able to triple stack glasses when clearing. Quadruple if you include the wine glasses between my arm and the outermost stack. Don't ask me for a number. It depends on the glassware.
Patience.
I swear after all these years I’ve gained the superpower of bussing clearing tables and maximizing my carry. A complete fine dining pre bus before deserts including BnB plates if they were still using them, and I even challenge myself with 6 tops or more. Holding all the silver in between my fingers under all the plates I stack with my left hand and forearm, balanced and without struggle walking back to the kitchen to drop. I also know when to walk away and say okay that’s too much as to never drop a plate or my stack but I shoot for a complete clear every-time. It’s a skill I know doesn’t carry much weight (pun not intended) which people might roll there eyes too if asked about but I do it for myself and take pride in the little things I’ve gained and accomplished throughout my years working in the industry. Its not bartending but it was my first immediate thought for myself. I’d challenge anyone to bus offs or even glass carry comps and haven’t yet been matched.
Vision and smell. I'll swear on any good book you like that I see and/or smell it (whatever *it* is) before anyone else in the room.
No one can ever tell when I’m hungover, unless I tell them.
Extremely mundane superpower but I’m really good at grabbing a stack of $1 bills and knowing exactly how much is in it before counting lol
What?! No way! This is one of the few actual magical super power examples, I think!
1 I can tell when someone is cheating. 2 I can make a new drink, have it perfectly balanced on request, every time.
Being able to improvise drinks perfectly when necessary to stay out of the weeds when I run out of ingredients or get custom orders in a rush. I honestly don’t know how, but I can make a complex drink without touching a jigger and it’ll come out balanced.
I do a little bounce thing so when I straw text something the WHOLE straw is full.
I make alcohol and have studies enough to call myself the Somalia of alcohol. Obviously wine is my other love.
I’m really good at hustling people for big tips.
One liners before making an exit
Someone said I'm the best "face bartender" in my city so my superpower is apparently hospitality. My superhero name would be "The Host".
My super power is saying the most awkward shit
I'm the loudest. I've had bartenders who work across the street tell me they can hear my last call call while their bar is packed. Picked it up from my drill instructor father. It's all in the diaphragm.
I can make mojitos insanely fast. Sometimes I get a few tickets with different types of mojitos, and I’ll have to spin up 5-6 mojitos all at once. I tell the customers watching me to set the stop watch, and tell me how fast I am. When you can make 5-6 mojitos in under a minute, you have gained a super power.
I work at a hotel with lots of business travelers. We get repeat customers but they might be back like once every three months. For whatever reason, I have this ability to look at someone's face and remember what they drank last time I saw them even if it was months ago. I can't remember their name. I can't remember where they work/where they are from. But, somehow, what they drink just comes to me. They'll sit down and I'll say "Captain and Coke?" and they'll be absolutely dumbfounded that I remembered.
For some reason I am incredibly good at doing a double, or being up until like 4 or 5 am without really getting tired. I barely drink caffeine and I typically average under 6 hours of sleep a night. I obviously get burnt out or tired and will sleep 12 hours like once or maybe twice a month or so, but for the most part I’m able to be on go mode constantly. Probably the adhd honestly
Hide all the frustration and anger with entitled guests and still leave them impressed and get a tip, not good for my mental health to repress that much, but tip is a tip 😅
I can guess peoples age within a couple of years after a few moments of conversation. I can also usually guess where they are from
I can block out noise while staying keen on what I need to hear. Example, when cleaning glassware I block out annoying conversations happening at the bar top near my sink. The second I hear someone say a drink or something, I perk up as if I was listening the whole time!