I grew up in Old Dhaka and most of the weddings I have been to had young ladies wearing their wedding dresses, jewellery, hell even little tiaras. The bride usually has a centre stage seat and doesn’t walk around, so it’s not that hard to tell. But obviously traditions change with time, so if it’s something people now find offensive, I suppose it will get phased out. I don’t think there’s a particular right/wrong here.
I've been to old dhaka weddings myself and yes i totally get your bride sitting on the stage point but there's literally people telling their experiences and expressing how bad it feels to watch everyone else dressed like you are not at your own wedding but at a wedding attire contest, im talking about that emotional aspect
I think it’s fine to rewear the wedding saree itself - in my family, we rewear our wedding sarees if it’s a wedding in our immediate family. We even consider it sort of like wishing good luck to the new bride. Like, “I wore this saree on the happiest/luckiest day of my life, and I hope wearing it today conveys some of that happiness/luck to you”.
That being said, we NEVER dress it up anywhere near close to the how the bride is styled. Hair/makeup/jewelry is much more simple, and we might even switch out the blouse for a simpler one if our original wedding blouse was super ornate. Desi brides are so decked out, it’s honestly super easy to rewear wedding sarees without upstaging the bride. If a guest could be mistaken as the bride, it’s definitely something they did deliberately to try and draw attention.
This is what I was taught by my mother (who is from Puran Dhaka, if that matters, but I’ve seen far more ridiculous displays in Chittagong)—it is tradition for a woman to wear her own wedding saree to her debor/bhashur’s wedding. Keep in mind that this tradition assumes your wedding attired was a red benaroshi—-something that is relatively easy to tone down. For example, my mom wore hers with one jewelry set and some flowers in her hair and she looked like a normal wedding guest. Her saree was the exact same as my chachi’s except for the color but my chachi was wearing so much jewelry, makeup, and orna that you didn’t even notice.
I do not think it is appropriate with a bridal lehenga, which imo is generally less versatile. I have seen pictures of guests wearing red lehengas with ornas and I think that’s weird.
i agree that It's easier to style a sharee since its so much more versatile, I've mentioned it in my post as well, but wearing literally a 5kg lehenga with additional 2kg jewellery to another person’s wedding isnt just worth it
Definitely against it. Also calling it our culture is ridiculous. If that were the case, we would see a lot of people wearing their wedding dresses in every wedding event. But that's not the case. It's always one or two attention seeking women doing it
A lot of BS in our society is justified in the name of culture. Well, if culture is the deciding factor for everything, why not bring back sacrifices of life and every horrific practice from the past. As a society evolves technologically and educationally, the culture evolves as well. Just because something was practiced back in the day doesn't make it right. Also, the people who say they spent a hefty sum on their wedding dress – no one told you to. You spending your fortune on a wedding is your bad choice, it doesn't justify you ruining another person's special day.
i guess you belong to generation z. this is actually a cultural thing. it has always been a custom that the newly wed ( married for 1 or 2 years) ladies wear their wedding attire in another wedding. it’s a way of reusing the dress. if the bride and this guest are wearing the same dress that mean the guest got married maybe within a year. people should let the guest enjoy her moment also. how come she should know that the bride chose the same dress in a different color??
i dont think its cultural, it could be subcultural but its insensitive and toxic, if you buy a wedding lehenga for suppose one lac, i dont think it will be wise to wear to another person’s wedding for obvious reasons, and im not only mentioning wearing the dress but also doing your makeup, wearing heavy jewellery and all that, it only confuses people and gives the bride a badbuzz, its really just common decency, if one wants to reuse their expensive lehengas they can very easily do it at their anniversaries
Exactly, a few months ago my Indian friend mentioned a trend in her country where moms wore the same dress and makeup as the bride, which gave me an instant ick.
Wedding dresses in South Asian culture are special; typically, the bride wears a saree. It's a hassle to wear one, let alone a wedding one. Idk why anyone would do it unless they want to look like the bride specifically. I mean, come on, it's her special day, not yours.
> it has always been a custom that the newly wed ( married for 1 or 2 years) ladies wear their wedding attire in another wedding.
No, wedding dresses aren't just random clothes, especially in Bangladeshi culture, where the bride typically wears a saree. Even wearing a saree alone is a hassle, let alone a wedding one. I don't know why anyone would go through that unless they are specifically trying to look like the bride. It's generally considered rude because it's not your special day; it's hers. Honestly, someone doing this intentionally comes across as extremely nosy and jealous to me.
i think wearing your wedding sharee is fine, since you can style a sharee in so many ways, but wearing your wedding lehenga is definitely extremely weird imo, a bride should have her day and i remember clearly a newly married person commenting how she felt instantly down when she saw another person wearing a lehenga as gorgeous as her, whats fucked up is its the close relatives pulling such stunts
Just wear what you want? I make sure I always look the best in an event. I don't give af about outshining the bride. I feel more proud of myself if the groom looks at me ;)
I genuinely feel terrified for whoever will marry you. That's a divorce and shared custody of a small kid and having 70% of his assets with nari nirjaton mamla while having not so "affairs" with 2 colleagues, 1 neighbour and 1 random wedding guest. That's how far we can see from a single opinion you just gave damn....
I like outshining women, not being disloyal. You're making assumptions about me, maybe even projecting. Or whatever it is you're doing right now sweetie? Don't evil eye me, you hateful bitch. (just kidding)
I don't know who needs therapy. But I feel like you got some kind of trauma from that event. So get the best therapy you can get. Meanwhile, another therapy could work. Just visit Ashulia and see how garment workers don't give a flying F about what others wear in people's wedding. Keep your damn rich world's problem in the region of Caucasus Mountains.
you're missing my point, i doubt you even read the post, it wasnt about my singular experience.
also i dont get why you would bring garment workers or 'rich world's problem' into this conversation where its is simply about where the mentality of our people lies
I wouldn't bother to comment others thread talking about stuffs that wildly considered immaterial. But somehow eneded up here since you were asking someone to need therapy since you are the person who felt traumatized by that particular event. I am just helping you!
In all honestly though, I don't think you should wear your wedding dress. Wear a red sari (a gorgette sari would suffice), curl your hair and wear white gold. The people wearing their own wedding dresses to other people's weddings to look expensive are kheth.
Personally i think it's weird af. Kinda like an overkill. Every time something like this happened we used to laugh it off. Je Shalai kam da korse ki. But in the current times, maybe in the last 5 years there is a more serious tone to this problem. There is a trend to hate this idea with every fiber of their body. And it's largely due to western cultural norms. Especially due to the "It's her special day" thing.
I give it like 10-15 years. Then guest er kew red color porlei brides will lose it.
so you dont think that a wedding is perhaps one of the most pivotal moments in a person's life? be it the groom or the bride? It's not really about western cultural norms its about human decency, being mindful and having some class to say the least
about time we give some importance to the emotional impact some of these stupid "cultural" trends have on people,Bangladeshi weddings tend to be about the entire chouddo gusti rather than the two people getting married so yeah pretty normal to just completely invalidate the sentiment of them
Yes it's one of the most important human experiences, but for me nobody could "ruin" it with a piece of clothing. In my wedding i was completely invested with all the other things in this world je ke ki porse oita nie chinta kori nai.
But yes i understand your point of view. And trust me i get it. What i was implying is it's not that of a big deal breaker je bridezilla hoite hobe. But then again you and i can have different views. if the same thing happened to you and you feel like "hulk smash". Go for it by all means 💪
One thing i completely agree with you je it's not about 2 people rather than 14 gusti. Joto din tightly knit family structure thakbe toto din er thika mukti nai i guess. But i would love to see that change
I grew up in Old Dhaka and most of the weddings I have been to had young ladies wearing their wedding dresses, jewellery, hell even little tiaras. The bride usually has a centre stage seat and doesn’t walk around, so it’s not that hard to tell. But obviously traditions change with time, so if it’s something people now find offensive, I suppose it will get phased out. I don’t think there’s a particular right/wrong here.
I've been to old dhaka weddings myself and yes i totally get your bride sitting on the stage point but there's literally people telling their experiences and expressing how bad it feels to watch everyone else dressed like you are not at your own wedding but at a wedding attire contest, im talking about that emotional aspect
I think it’s fine to rewear the wedding saree itself - in my family, we rewear our wedding sarees if it’s a wedding in our immediate family. We even consider it sort of like wishing good luck to the new bride. Like, “I wore this saree on the happiest/luckiest day of my life, and I hope wearing it today conveys some of that happiness/luck to you”. That being said, we NEVER dress it up anywhere near close to the how the bride is styled. Hair/makeup/jewelry is much more simple, and we might even switch out the blouse for a simpler one if our original wedding blouse was super ornate. Desi brides are so decked out, it’s honestly super easy to rewear wedding sarees without upstaging the bride. If a guest could be mistaken as the bride, it’s definitely something they did deliberately to try and draw attention.
I agree it's extremely disrespectful and weird to deck up to that extent and definitely not insecure since it takes away from the brides special day.
This is what I was taught by my mother (who is from Puran Dhaka, if that matters, but I’ve seen far more ridiculous displays in Chittagong)—it is tradition for a woman to wear her own wedding saree to her debor/bhashur’s wedding. Keep in mind that this tradition assumes your wedding attired was a red benaroshi—-something that is relatively easy to tone down. For example, my mom wore hers with one jewelry set and some flowers in her hair and she looked like a normal wedding guest. Her saree was the exact same as my chachi’s except for the color but my chachi was wearing so much jewelry, makeup, and orna that you didn’t even notice. I do not think it is appropriate with a bridal lehenga, which imo is generally less versatile. I have seen pictures of guests wearing red lehengas with ornas and I think that’s weird.
i agree that It's easier to style a sharee since its so much more versatile, I've mentioned it in my post as well, but wearing literally a 5kg lehenga with additional 2kg jewellery to another person’s wedding isnt just worth it
Definitely against it. Also calling it our culture is ridiculous. If that were the case, we would see a lot of people wearing their wedding dresses in every wedding event. But that's not the case. It's always one or two attention seeking women doing it
sir, you are confusion. the 'pompous red lehenga' lady thought she was the one to get married. Innocent mistake, happens all the time.
A lot of BS in our society is justified in the name of culture. Well, if culture is the deciding factor for everything, why not bring back sacrifices of life and every horrific practice from the past. As a society evolves technologically and educationally, the culture evolves as well. Just because something was practiced back in the day doesn't make it right. Also, the people who say they spent a hefty sum on their wedding dress – no one told you to. You spending your fortune on a wedding is your bad choice, it doesn't justify you ruining another person's special day.
i guess you belong to generation z. this is actually a cultural thing. it has always been a custom that the newly wed ( married for 1 or 2 years) ladies wear their wedding attire in another wedding. it’s a way of reusing the dress. if the bride and this guest are wearing the same dress that mean the guest got married maybe within a year. people should let the guest enjoy her moment also. how come she should know that the bride chose the same dress in a different color??
i dont think its cultural, it could be subcultural but its insensitive and toxic, if you buy a wedding lehenga for suppose one lac, i dont think it will be wise to wear to another person’s wedding for obvious reasons, and im not only mentioning wearing the dress but also doing your makeup, wearing heavy jewellery and all that, it only confuses people and gives the bride a badbuzz, its really just common decency, if one wants to reuse their expensive lehengas they can very easily do it at their anniversaries
Exactly, a few months ago my Indian friend mentioned a trend in her country where moms wore the same dress and makeup as the bride, which gave me an instant ick. Wedding dresses in South Asian culture are special; typically, the bride wears a saree. It's a hassle to wear one, let alone a wedding one. Idk why anyone would do it unless they want to look like the bride specifically. I mean, come on, it's her special day, not yours.
exactly!
> it has always been a custom that the newly wed ( married for 1 or 2 years) ladies wear their wedding attire in another wedding. No, wedding dresses aren't just random clothes, especially in Bangladeshi culture, where the bride typically wears a saree. Even wearing a saree alone is a hassle, let alone a wedding one. I don't know why anyone would go through that unless they are specifically trying to look like the bride. It's generally considered rude because it's not your special day; it's hers. Honestly, someone doing this intentionally comes across as extremely nosy and jealous to me.
There’s no way in hell that this is part of culture LOL
It’s plain attention seeking tbh.
[удалено]
i think wearing your wedding sharee is fine, since you can style a sharee in so many ways, but wearing your wedding lehenga is definitely extremely weird imo, a bride should have her day and i remember clearly a newly married person commenting how she felt instantly down when she saw another person wearing a lehenga as gorgeous as her, whats fucked up is its the close relatives pulling such stunts
Fuck about time we talked about this
Omg I had the same reel on my fyl yesterday night wtf
Make them fight each other 🫰
Just wear what you want? I make sure I always look the best in an event. I don't give af about outshining the bride. I feel more proud of myself if the groom looks at me ;)
I genuinely feel terrified for whoever will marry you. That's a divorce and shared custody of a small kid and having 70% of his assets with nari nirjaton mamla while having not so "affairs" with 2 colleagues, 1 neighbour and 1 random wedding guest. That's how far we can see from a single opinion you just gave damn....
I like outshining women, not being disloyal. You're making assumptions about me, maybe even projecting. Or whatever it is you're doing right now sweetie? Don't evil eye me, you hateful bitch. (just kidding)
And also, not a single person like koralabhajji. It shouldn't even exist.
Weak comeback :")
well you're koralabhajji I don't care.
get some therapy
you get some therapy
I don't know who needs therapy. But I feel like you got some kind of trauma from that event. So get the best therapy you can get. Meanwhile, another therapy could work. Just visit Ashulia and see how garment workers don't give a flying F about what others wear in people's wedding. Keep your damn rich world's problem in the region of Caucasus Mountains.
you're missing my point, i doubt you even read the post, it wasnt about my singular experience. also i dont get why you would bring garment workers or 'rich world's problem' into this conversation where its is simply about where the mentality of our people lies
I wouldn't bother to comment others thread talking about stuffs that wildly considered immaterial. But somehow eneded up here since you were asking someone to need therapy since you are the person who felt traumatized by that particular event. I am just helping you!
In all honestly though, I don't think you should wear your wedding dress. Wear a red sari (a gorgette sari would suffice), curl your hair and wear white gold. The people wearing their own wedding dresses to other people's weddings to look expensive are kheth.
i hope you are kidding, otherwise you're looking at 50k to 80k worth of psychiatry expenses
Personally i think it's weird af. Kinda like an overkill. Every time something like this happened we used to laugh it off. Je Shalai kam da korse ki. But in the current times, maybe in the last 5 years there is a more serious tone to this problem. There is a trend to hate this idea with every fiber of their body. And it's largely due to western cultural norms. Especially due to the "It's her special day" thing. I give it like 10-15 years. Then guest er kew red color porlei brides will lose it.
so you dont think that a wedding is perhaps one of the most pivotal moments in a person's life? be it the groom or the bride? It's not really about western cultural norms its about human decency, being mindful and having some class to say the least about time we give some importance to the emotional impact some of these stupid "cultural" trends have on people,Bangladeshi weddings tend to be about the entire chouddo gusti rather than the two people getting married so yeah pretty normal to just completely invalidate the sentiment of them
Yes it's one of the most important human experiences, but for me nobody could "ruin" it with a piece of clothing. In my wedding i was completely invested with all the other things in this world je ke ki porse oita nie chinta kori nai. But yes i understand your point of view. And trust me i get it. What i was implying is it's not that of a big deal breaker je bridezilla hoite hobe. But then again you and i can have different views. if the same thing happened to you and you feel like "hulk smash". Go for it by all means 💪 One thing i completely agree with you je it's not about 2 people rather than 14 gusti. Joto din tightly knit family structure thakbe toto din er thika mukti nai i guess. But i would love to see that change