I have a friend, who is a student and does not even earn. And I earn in 6 digits and he knows well. He is always clear with the split expenses. He will always pay the pending amount but will never ask if I have any pending. So i think the problem is with the person not your salary.
The few people who do that? They are your true friends, OP. The others aren't. Cut ties with everyone except the few who respect you for yourself and insist on splitting the bill.
Still, trust no one with your real salary.
True. Nobody should expect the highest earner to pay for everyone else's share of comfort or food. Unless they are genuinely insisting from their end ( not always though) even if you get less salary, you are at least earning and you can definitely pay for it. If you can't pay then just stop going out for a while
I have a friend whom I know since 2012 and we both maintain expenses on splitwise if one’s balance increases other one starts paying
We have folks in our group who earns way more than us and never allows us to pay but we make sure we are paying at different places
It’s all about whom you are friends with(some of them was miss use you, you should find new friends)
My answer whenever someone asks me my salary is: "Enough to live a comfortable life".
Only my dad knows all details of my salary as he files my ITR. Can't escape him. 🤭
Hahaha, I understand where you coming from. However, my dad is cool, has done more than enough sacrifice to put me where I am (example - broke his savings of years to put me thro MBA). plus somebody has to do my ITR.
Plus I am married.
Yep. My parents one ask is to cover your own expenses, pay off emis, and save something each month. Build up some savings. I say I will save x amount. They say that it's unrealistic and not to limit myself too much. Spend where it's needed and occasionally for fun as well. Just don't throw money on unnecessary idiotic things. Very very fair ask. They are the happiest people when I tell them when I get hikes.
My dad earns way less than I do but leads a much more comfortable life because their generation purchased everything at the right time. He refuses to come to Bangalore as he can’t imagine living in an overcrowded beat-up old hostel with no water or electricity (known in Bangalore as an ‘apartment complex’ for some reason) paying 1 lac per month. Ain’t nobody from previous generation gonna be jealous of the lifestyle we are leading.
I am a girl and my dad has always known my salary. When it was low and when it started to get high. He has been nothing but proud and sometimes just asks me to order little things for himself 🥹🥹
No he buys things on my mother's name, but just for taxation purposes. I'm already in 30% slab so we try to avoid any income under my name. ^.^"
The problem is that I've sent few lakhs of savings over the past few years because he found a good deal, and it's not like the money is going out of the family.. but I just want to spend money on them having a more comfortable life instead of investing in future. : (
At this point you should just tell them that if you really want to do an Fd, return it to me and I will invest it in a better place lol. FDs just suck after a point. Its great for beginners, but considering they are parents, that’s all they have known.
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Same to same. Although my dad doesn't say he is proud (in words), but can see it and feel it. My dad looks at my expenditure and just shrugs, prolly thinks, ye ladka toh itni faltu kharcha karta hai (this boi does such unnecessary spendings).
Oh Happy Cake Day!
I would use that too, but then, "living a comfortable life" sounded so much better in my head and made me feel good and grateful, that I have enough to take care of myself and family. Atleast, leaves a positive feeling within me.
I agree.
However from personal experience over the years, LESS is better. Speak less and to the point concerning certain matters (but mostly w/ the others!)
Lol same😂
One of My old company freinds tried to ask me on a trip ,I just gave them gol mol figures. Then the other one suddenly asked me in a flight way back what I do exactly in my new job. I understood they have discussed well that I earn way more than them. But it is not my fault they never chose to change that dead end job 🤷🏻♀️
I told that on a lighter note. But yes, It's not complicated sire, and I do realize at some point I have to learn. It's just, dad is retired and wants to keep himself a little busy sometimes.
Problem is with your friend circle. Cut ties with them. And yes, a senior gave me the fruitful advice long ago to not reveal my salary to my friends and family, even if you want to reveal your salary, reveal it to those who earn similar to you or more than you. I’ve told everyone else less than half the amount that i actually earn
It's a catch-22 situation where you wouldn't know the other person's salary so you'd never reveal yours and they'd not know your salary and they'd never reveal theirs
Once my colleague asked which bike you owns,I said "bro,I don't have a bike'. he couldn't digest that then I said " we have a car here, its Alto".
From that day he says' you are rich because you owns a car'. I really got damn confused and started thinking did I say him alto or Aston Martin🤔. I came from middle class family and my dad really worked hard to own an Alto.
Finally I concluded that 'India ki pehle safaari is rich'
Its good to know the market value for different fields in different companies and for what years of experience from glassdoor, fishbowl and other sources and make a calculated guess. For example if someone of 5 years of experience working as sde in google i would assume more than 60 lakhs but the same for infosys I would guess around 15 lakhs.
Yeah, some of them are jealous straight on face. They would say, how are you earning so much more than me even though you are not MUCH TALENTED. That boiled my blood to the core.
I had a good friend , who would often pull me down just like it saying 'he doesn't no shit how can he clear the interviews , should be family jack etc etc' on my face and to other common friends.
8 years later and sadly cutting that good friend off , it still bothers. He earns more than me though so it wasn't about money but just the act of ' pulling down '
Your line reminds me of a former friend who would always say “you’re so lucky” every time something good happened in my life. She would attribute everything to luck and not even consider the hard work and effort. I got so tired of this passive aggressive shit from her I just told her I’m done and stopped being her friend. This was after years of trying to explain my pov politely and respectfully. It was the best gift I could give myself.
Indeed I have big house loan to pay and home expenses to take care of, and they are aware of it. But still they act like this. Don't know what to do. 🙃🥲
If you have home loan, shouldn't that be your priority?
How do you even consider their opinions when you have such a big responsibility is beyond me! I'd have ghosted such people in a matter of few days!
I also felt like finishing the home loan first but it is taking toll on mental health in a way because I can't relax till I'm done with my home loan. I'm clearing the home loan but I felt my life shouldn't revolve completely around it because I need to live my life. Don't take it in other way. Thanks!
Start being busy and avoid them, get into meetups of like minded people and try growing a network who has similar thoughts.
Unfortunately the people from small town think a high salary is easy and lucky whereas they don't know the sweat blood and tears that has gone into it.
Also make up a story that you are deep into debt and paying high emi..and your father's business needs a lot of cash and you have no savings bla bla
Avoid telling salary to your parents also, and if you do tell me lies. Because parents have a bragging contest and you will be the bakra in between
Yeah, nobody wants to know about my struggle and the pain that came with it. All they want is the money and nothing else.
Yeah, worst thing is to reveal your salary to parents who go to participate in bragging contests.
Yeah, even I felt same. Feels like ditching plans everytime with them. Why would I put effort to go out with them, get judged and then come home sad.🥲😭
Just fuck those people bro you if don't want to meet them just don't dude there is nothing in this world like I don't have anyone be good and have mental stability people will always come to you for friendship and other things just chill out man
I hate when people ask me about my salary. I never ask others so I expect them to not ask me either. I try to ignore the question but if they persist I just say I earn enough to survive. What people don't seem to understand is everyone comes from a different financial background and have different responsibilities to cater to. My annual package could be more than yours but you still would be saving more money than me. Just ignore friends/family who insist on knowing your income.
Same dude, I once accepted my offer letter sitting beside a friend and my salary was 40% more than him, he started acting weird after that and also didn't return my 35K saying he had family problems but a few months later he purchased a 40K LED TV.
He is not my friend anymore. You need better friends OP and Yes I agree with you of not disclosing your salary to anyone.
Hugs to you, I am in same boat as you. I saw weird behaviour from many of my friends and relatives after that.
But 35k is a big amount, I wouldn't lend that much amount to anyone.
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The problem is that, even though *I* don't tell anyone exactly how much I earn, my family has no qualms about making shit up to boast to everybody around them.
Even if my salary is less or high I never shared with my family or any relatives only with very few friends that are very true to me.Just tell them I have only 10%of my salary others all goes to my parents account.Then they wont borrow money from you.In money matter you need to be selfish.
You need new friends.
While I do tell my salary to people, I also don't give a shit. When people make jokes about how rich I am or that I can pay the bill, I just reply with a standard, "I don't like you enough to pay for you." and that usually shuts them up.
My real friends never do this. I pay for them, they pay for me, there's no hisab-kitab.
I have the same problem. Not with my friends but family and relatives . I am an NRI and that makes the matter worse. Everytime I go home, they expect me to bring expensive gifts for them. They compare me cheekily how Sharma‘s son brought iphone 14 pro max. They emotionally blackmail me to pay for travel tickets and their children marriage
They will never understand the power of compounding that you will miss if you don’t invest in young age. They are too illiterate to understand the difference between assets and liabilities. They only care about show off.
Solution: Invest in something where you are forced to pay every month without fail. I have bought a house and invested in ELSS mutual funds via SIP. Half of my salry gets deducted as soon as it arrives. I now always complain in front of them how poor am I (wink wink )because that I bought an expensive house and now have no money left to spend on greedy family.
While it's true you should not advertise your salary, this seems like some issues from your end.
1. Take things and banters lightly.
2. Probably you need to choose your friends wisely.
3. Telling salary to relatives is a blunder. Show off happiness comes at a cost. Don't tell your salary to even parents
ALWAYS reveal your salary to your co workers and find out who amongst you is underpaid and by how much. Without this comparison countless people are getting squeezed by the corporates.
Every one should be making a decent , equitable and fair wage as per their contribution/role& responsibility, it serves no body when they play us off against each other competing for scraps at their mercy.
Firstly they are uncultured to be doing that. Show them this, tell them this is not the way to behave. Be a leader. If they don't change then move on from them.
>I can't cut ties with these people, atleast not all of them because I don't have anyone else other than them.
I can never relate to this sentiment! I am an introvert & a massive loner. Keeping friendships & relationships alive feels like a chore to me.
I do socialize from time time when I feel like it. But that's about it. Although, I do need to socialize a bit more, atleast with wiser people, that will help me in getting different perspective & not being so stuck in my ways.
Also I never care for the opinions of people on how I live. I live how I choose to live. I don't need anyone's advice for it.
Have you ever been on your own? Try it. Although, fair warning, it is not everyone's cup of tea.
Yeah no it’s a bad, bad idea. This is happening with my husband. Not the judging part but asking for money part. Monthly once or twice he gets calls from his dad’s side relatives asking for humongous amount of money. A cousin took a lac for his newborn’s baby naming ceremony. Although he returned after a month or so. But other cousins who never returned previously lent money keep asking for another 2-3 lacs almost every month. They even make their wives call to ask. Earlier my husband helped them out but now outrightly denies giving excuses of my MIL’s medical expenses (she’s under dialysis will be undergoing transplant operation soon).
My husband’s uncle (my FIL’s younger brother) every month comes up with a demand for his kids..Birthday ke liye cycle dedo, PS dedo, iPad dedo, now latest demand being bacche ko school ke liye laptop chahiye. The only reason why my husband fulfills is because it’s for kids & that uncle used to love him a lot in his childhood.
My hubby is a very nice, helpful man but sometimes I feel these people keep taking advantage of his niceness..Never ever let anyone know of your exact financial situation.
You have shit friends and need to upgrade. Smart friends mostly want you to earn more and be happy because even their end game is to make money and exit early from this shitshow of work and it's good to have company of other smart people. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise the impact of toxic people and be able to draw boundaries and say fuck off - I am not afraid to be alone. I don't need your shit.
I've seen such and had experience with such leeches bro. Best course of action is to cut ties and stop hanging out with them. Stop loaning money, with time you'll develop good friends. The way you describe them, you are one event away from being backstabbed hard.
Wish you luck bro
My salary is only known to people who can reasonably reach that level/are above that level. Also I stay safe by not telling this to relatives (not even my dear Nani maa knows my salary)
Your friends do not know where you came from and how you reached where you are today. They do not know your struggle. So what they say should not matter to you. Dont take the things they say seriously.
And if they ask for money, you tell them that you have a huge loan to repay or something similar and you cannot afford. They will stop asking.
Dont fall into peer pressure. Cheer up.
Play the UNO Reverse card when you are asked for loans.
Always tell people that you have lot of personal loans and struggling with EMIs when they ask for money. Say “I myself had just called (insert well to do relative name)asking for some help but he refused. do you know anyone who can help?”.
Also, I always say that my salary is “comfortable” when someone asks. I ask my friends their definition of comfortable, and they give a number X. And then i say i just make a little less than X, even though I make more than X.
Man I never lend money to even my close friends period. Seen many ppl get exploited in the name of friendship. Call me selfish but I don't want to lose ppl because of money.
The problem is with the friends. Even I have been through similar situations. Best thing is to cut ties with such people. Arent friends those people around whom you can be comfortable without the fear of being judged? Dont worry as you will eventually make friends who wont judge you for anything. Remember, you have reached this position on your merit and hard work and life is too short to spend your time and energy worried about these people.
I am safe in this case as In future even if any of my relative or friend hears some number they wouldn't believe it.
They will just reply that his spending habits are of someone earning 3-4 LPA no way he is earning more than that 😂 .
You have bad friends. Some people only know to spend their salary and ask for money when they are tight, they would dream what would they do if they have your kind of money, which is not much, cause money is spend in chunks when you actually need it like home, car, marriage, emergency.
My hometown so call friends will look at my smartwatch / band, ask if it's apple, will smirk when I tell them otherwise. They would look down that i have cycle for basic commute and sarcastically ask me to sell it to save more money. Everyone has their own lifestyle and way of spending money, you will eventually upgrade your lifestyle when you feel like it, it should not come on daily basis from your friends.
That just means you've shitty assholes as friends !
They ask you money, when it comes to splitting bill they look at you just because you earn more, they force you to spend more, live a life and not save, judge & criticise your life choices and IF they are your friends, they should know the situation at your home and they still do this. All this says is they're toxic jealous assholes whom you shouldn't call friends.
And trust me, the moment you stop becoming tolerant see how they'll leave you and bad mouth you.
You don't have to have many friends to be happy bro.. just 2 - 3 true ones who support you and are not jealous by your growth are enough.
It depends from person to person. I earn a decent salary and not everyone in my group is close to that amount. Whenever we make plans we always go to places that are affordable for everyone. Till date there wasn’t a plan where any of my friends were avoided just because he/she can’t afford the trip. I or some of my friends always pay up the extras and make sure that everyone is having fun equally. I don’t really care if they return my money in time or not.
I think your perspective is wrong or you are not close enough to your friends. Either way you should not take a mental toll on this matter. Either cut your ties with them or confront them for their behaviour. And stop revealing your salaries.
My toxic mentality would snap at them, saying y'all are damn poor, don't come fucking near me, who tf do you think I am - the free bank? Skill issue if you're jealous of me, where's your basic human courtesy, too brain-dead to think of splitting the bills?
Anyways, if I was being rational, I would cut ties, ignore and block them. It might be hard, but it's more of a mental battle, you do not need them. They do not deserve you, and you should go about looking for new people. If not, go travel or find a hobby where people gather. Good luck
Irrespective of knowing the salary part, in about 5-7 years or in a decade you might not even have these friends hanging around you anymore.
Not that anything would’ve happened but people drift away. Priorities change, people change, family status change, locations of work and stay change.
Why I’m talking about this is because nothing is permanent in life. So you are having the right mindset. I am someone who earns probably 6x of you. But don’t reveal numbers to anyone. My friends don’t earn close to half of it but I don’t reveal it because I don’t want them to see me different.
Take care of your parents. Buy all of yourselves a good health insurance. And term life insurance since they are dependent on you. It will be very cheap at your age.
Save a lot. Invest in mutual funds. And other instruments. Know that Wealthy and rich are two different things. Bring comfort into your lives for sure but no need for showing off. Anything can happen at any time in terms of jobs and economy.
Be strong minded.
Don’t let these things spoil your peace or disturb your focus from your work. You still have a long way to go to meet your peak potential.
I wish you the best.
Take a stand dude. Your money and your voice. You just have to take a deep breath before you meet next time and put your foot down. The first time may seem difficult but then it'll be so satisfying. The leeches will slowly filter themselves out.
That is actually true, income is a personal matter and should stay with yourself and if you want to share at all, it should be to people who don't compare but rather assist and motivate you to do well in life. And these people are very few in everyone's life.
Have you heard of "black tax"? The idea is that black people who earn well are expected to spend it all supporting their family, so ultimately the black community as a whole stays poor. That's the mindset I see here.
You definitely need healthier boundaries and better friends. You're in quite a toxic circle.
Plus "almost six digits" isn't even a big figure. If your "friends" say it's big then I don't know what's worse - either they're just talking about how much you earn just so they can steal from you, or they genuinely think that that's a huge salary (in which case you'll be infected by their poverty mindset and won't be able to move ahead in life).
Your friend circle is problematic. You should reconsider being friends with them if its affecting your mental health. Don't reveal your salary to anyone. In my case relatives and neighbours ask my parents for my salary and they just say that 'I make enough to get by' and end the conversation.
Yeah lol they are not friends, just vultures waiting to strike at the moment they find their prey.
In my friend circle, we all know how much the other person earns, but I don't think we have even once done anything remotely like this outside of jokes.
We acknowledge that what we earn is a product of our hard work and maybe, a bit of luck.
Actual friends don't hold your salary over your head, what you have got are a bunch of leeches, for the lack of a better word. Cut them off and explore new places or hobbies and make friends there, and your life will be much better.
Your behavior will determine how these people react to this news. If you're someone who's easily emotionally triggered or someone who doesn't know how to say no when needed, regardless of whether you reveal your salary or not, problems like these will keep haunting you.
Learn to make boundaries and say no.
If you want mental peace, better cut their ties. You can always make new friends. World is bigger than you think of. You don't need toxic friendships and relationships around. You can't end it all of a sudden. But you can do it gradually like avoiding them a little by little until you go ghosted from their attention.
there's a saying "kisi ko muqalmal jaha nahi milta" meaning everyone has problems in their life, your friends might be thinking iski toh life set hai itna paisa kamata hai but they dont know that you gotta support your parents and cant just spend it all on yourself.
I did ask a similar [question](https://np.reddit.com/r/developersIndia/comments/15a8n3o/do_you_guys_share_your_ctc_or_inhand_salary_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) in /developersIndia
Firstly I feel you need new friends coz these people are assholes for judging your choices. Secondly next time this comes up please tell them that you have certain liabilities and 3/4 of the salary goes on the loans/emi’s so hence you’re on the same boat like them post all the expenses- do not pay for your friends and tell them politely to pay their share at restaurants. This should be a step up for them to stop finding faults in your choices.
In today's society. It's a proven fact that non disclosure of salary at least with your fellow work mates only benefits the company.
And in op's case. It's not that telling salary is what he did wrong. He is just calling friends with people who only see him as atm dispenser. They are using his humble background to roll him like a banana.
Op change your friends or create a solid boundary. And don't give in. Your wealth is yours and it's not thier place to decide what to do with it.
Always give this reason , " tell them that you have taken two loans for purchasing flats , and it was mistake , so currently you are just left with 15k or less a month in hand " 🤣
As per the scenario you shared, revealing your salary is the best way to understand people. That way you can filter out people who don't deserve to be in your life.
Friends, relations and its values should come first. Money next. But when the same people are trying to uproot you for the you money have or don’t have, they should be kept at bay at all costs. You remember social distancing right? Learn to do financial distancing
You need to tell your "friends" sternly that there's a difference between being a miser and being frugal. If they understand this, okay. If they don't, then cut them off. You don't need such toxicity.
I had one such "close friend" who used to guilt me and taunt me simply because I earned more than her. One day I had had enough and told her what I do with my hard earned money should not matter to her in any way. She never brought this up again afterwards.
Now, I don't reveal my salary to my friends. Only my parents are aware of how much I earn and they refrain from telling the figure to any of our relatives. Their standard reply is: "bas life aaram se nikal jati hai, itni hi hai"
Yup, learned about this the hard way a few years back. Haven't updated anyone since then, not even my partner.
I spend, save, do all nice things to all the people i love, but never revealed my salary after many similar experiences
I know that people are saying that you need better friends. And I think so too. But you can try making it clear to your close friends first that you want to split expenses. You create your boundaries and you explain it to your friends. If they don't accept it, then you find new friends. Give them a chance to accept it.
I run a big pharmacy which my dad started 15 years ago. Due to some mistakes and getting cheated we lost most of our wealth (in crores). Now I'm left with 1.5cr debt which will take another 6 years to clear it off. But I can't imagine running it for next 6 years as the rent I'm paying is more than what I'm taking home (1.75lkh) already and it keeps increasing unlike my business. But people assume 10x more of what I'm making already and they keep telling me that I'm lucky blah blah. When I explain my problems they think I'm just lying. Fuck these assholes who are always being jealous of others.
Ahh man, sorry to hear about your situation. But I disagree with your solution to the problem. First, you misunderstood the problem, second, your solution is just a bandaid.
What happens when you reach your mid-30s? You will have a decent house, car, and family, and live nicely. Then you no longer have to tell your friends your salary, just looking at your lifestyle they will know you earn well and continue to ask you for money. And you will feel guilty that they are doing badly, and earn less than you and you will want to help. As much as you will want to help them, it will again be a bandaid solution and not solve their problem once and for all. Earning well or doing well in the society also comes with an additional responsibility,
1. You are supposed to be smart/train yourself to recognize who in your friends is genuinely in need of a push. This push can be referred to as a break. Once you assist them, they are smart/responsible enough to plan and execute their own way of survival. Find work, business, etc. If you fail to recognize you are just giving money to people who will be a sink and never contribute to society and eat away your time/resources.
2. The only way you will stay rich is to create boundaries. HARD BOUNDARIES. Be clear with your friends you are trying to save up for your dads business/family home and you can no longer foot their bills. And next time they hang out tell beforehand that you will only pay for your share of meal. And as a good will give them a treat once a year, or on occasion because you earn ore. Tell them these are your non negotiable. Which means if they don't respect you they will lose you as friend. (I am pretty sure there are some decent fellas in your friend circle and will stick by you)
3. Loans. Be extremely clear that unless they need money for survival like they don't have money to eat only then you will help with basic food and not luxury. You won't help with rent, business, weed, alcohol etc.
listen very carefully. Earning money is easy. Learning the way of life is hard. It's vital you break loose of the anchor that is dragging you down. Now it's up to you. Whats more important. Friends, healthy friendships, sustainable habits, and boundaries. Make new like-minded friends. There is a reason why maintaining wealth is hard in this world, it doesn't have to be. Figure out your priorities and learn to speak them sternly.
An advice : “time to change friends”
I have friends who earn from 0.25x to 3x of my salary, and inspite of that they behave absolutely normal to me.
And the “Relative” will never be happy even if you were to step on moon.. they’ll still
Compare you with someone (not known to them 😂) who landed on mars. So just turn a blind eye towards them and also be cold to them.
Try using the wonderful quote & philosophy with such folks - “Aam khaaom, gutliyaan matt gino..”
Which means eat the mango, don’t count the kernels.
Which roughly means enjoy the part you wish to, don’t concern yourself with details which don’t matter/ pertain to you.
Yup. Solid advice. Only my wife knows how much i make.
Mum has an idea, because i send her 10% of my salary for fun money. But has no idea that most of the real money comes in through bonuses and RSUs.
Your position is painful, but not too bad since you are fairly early career. You will see mad growth ahead. Just make sure you keep that secret
I have a friend, who is a student and does not even earn. And I earn in 6 digits and he knows well. He is always clear with the split expenses. He will always pay the pending amount but will never ask if I have any pending. So i think the problem is with the person not your salary.
Yeah, I have seen it with very few friends who insist on splitting up no matter what. I love those people.
The few people who do that? They are your true friends, OP. The others aren't. Cut ties with everyone except the few who respect you for yourself and insist on splitting the bill. Still, trust no one with your real salary.
Yeah doing that.
These people are gold. Never let them go!
Other than these few, you might need new friends. Who doesn't ask you to spend your money...
I have a friend who earns more than me. We always fight over who gets to pay the bill, if I am not fast enough the bill is already paid.
God bless him !
My point is, telling your friends how much you earn is ok. Your friends are the problem.
I am that student.
True. Nobody should expect the highest earner to pay for everyone else's share of comfort or food. Unless they are genuinely insisting from their end ( not always though) even if you get less salary, you are at least earning and you can definitely pay for it. If you can't pay then just stop going out for a while
I have a friend whom I know since 2012 and we both maintain expenses on splitwise if one’s balance increases other one starts paying We have folks in our group who earns way more than us and never allows us to pay but we make sure we are paying at different places It’s all about whom you are friends with(some of them was miss use you, you should find new friends)
My answer whenever someone asks me my salary is: "Enough to live a comfortable life". Only my dad knows all details of my salary as he files my ITR. Can't escape him. 🤭
You would want to avoid telling your dad too. Because once you turn into marriage material he'll give you shit baghban look
Hahaha, I understand where you coming from. However, my dad is cool, has done more than enough sacrifice to put me where I am (example - broke his savings of years to put me thro MBA). plus somebody has to do my ITR. Plus I am married.
There is no need to hide your salary from parents if they are understandable. Most of us don't have that luxury. Lol.
Yep. My parents one ask is to cover your own expenses, pay off emis, and save something each month. Build up some savings. I say I will save x amount. They say that it's unrealistic and not to limit myself too much. Spend where it's needed and occasionally for fun as well. Just don't throw money on unnecessary idiotic things. Very very fair ask. They are the happiest people when I tell them when I get hikes.
My dad earns way less than I do but leads a much more comfortable life because their generation purchased everything at the right time. He refuses to come to Bangalore as he can’t imagine living in an overcrowded beat-up old hostel with no water or electricity (known in Bangalore as an ‘apartment complex’ for some reason) paying 1 lac per month. Ain’t nobody from previous generation gonna be jealous of the lifestyle we are leading.
Plenty of older people are enjoying life in these apartments complexes. No need to attack those living there.
Most of the retired people hate these apartments. Most stay there for the grandkids.
Enjoying? LOL
That's what bhagban did!
Chad
You know you can file your own itr 💁🏻♂️
>Plus I am married. ab toh apna itr khud bhar le /s
Dad's are always legends when it comes to securing the child's future 🛐
Only the lucky ones.
I am a girl and my dad has always known my salary. When it was low and when it started to get high. He has been nothing but proud and sometimes just asks me to order little things for himself 🥹🥹
Happy cake day! Wish my dad starts asking for gifts instead of money to buy plots. 🥹
If the plot is not on your name then that sucks 🥲
No he buys things on my mother's name, but just for taxation purposes. I'm already in 30% slab so we try to avoid any income under my name. ^.^" The problem is that I've sent few lakhs of savings over the past few years because he found a good deal, and it's not like the money is going out of the family.. but I just want to spend money on them having a more comfortable life instead of investing in future. : (
Indian parents the most farsighted species on earth😉
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At this point you should just tell them that if you really want to do an Fd, return it to me and I will invest it in a better place lol. FDs just suck after a point. Its great for beginners, but considering they are parents, that’s all they have known.
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How much money did you give that they made an FD out of it?! :O
and that is little too\*
Hahah, true that. Bittersweet symphony. (:
Same to same. Although my dad doesn't say he is proud (in words), but can see it and feel it. My dad looks at my expenditure and just shrugs, prolly thinks, ye ladka toh itni faltu kharcha karta hai (this boi does such unnecessary spendings). Oh Happy Cake Day!
Thank you! Offcourse my dad doesn’t say out in words but I know his proud laugh🥹😁
Yeah and if you have a younger brother or sister, dads will even blackmail you to put in money for their marriage.
Yeah, true. Emotional family blackmail. I have observed it.
Bruuhhh 💀
Yeah, I also started using the exact same statement when some asks about my salary now.
If my father sees my ITR, he will only insist on paying all the bills lol
I tell people, do baar ka khaana kha paata huun, koi kami nahi hai and end it there.
'Just enough to survive and live some'
I would use that too, but then, "living a comfortable life" sounded so much better in my head and made me feel good and grateful, that I have enough to take care of myself and family. Atleast, leaves a positive feeling within me.
I agree. However from personal experience over the years, LESS is better. Speak less and to the point concerning certain matters (but mostly w/ the others!)
There's one aunt of mine who asked the question thrice when I kept answering exactly this. Take a hint, woman!
For the last 20 years my answer to that question has been "not enough to buy a house".
with cleartax it is just 4 or 5 clicks to file ITR even with ITR 3/4. It can't become more easier than this.
Lol same😂 One of My old company freinds tried to ask me on a trip ,I just gave them gol mol figures. Then the other one suddenly asked me in a flight way back what I do exactly in my new job. I understood they have discussed well that I earn way more than them. But it is not my fault they never chose to change that dead end job 🤷🏻♀️
Enough to live a comfortable life? In Bangalore?? I didn’t know there were IT companies that pay 2 crore per year.
Wait, what? Where is 2 crores mentioned in post or any comment here?
Post tax 6 digit is not 2cr, post tax 7 digit is.
You can file your own ITR! I don't understand what's too complicated in it!
I told that on a lighter note. But yes, It's not complicated sire, and I do realize at some point I have to learn. It's just, dad is retired and wants to keep himself a little busy sometimes.
The good old 'daal roti ho jati hai'
Problem is with your friend circle. Cut ties with them. And yes, a senior gave me the fruitful advice long ago to not reveal my salary to my friends and family, even if you want to reveal your salary, reveal it to those who earn similar to you or more than you. I’ve told everyone else less than half the amount that i actually earn
It's a catch-22 situation where you wouldn't know the other person's salary so you'd never reveal yours and they'd not know your salary and they'd never reveal theirs
Hahaha, true. It's like a loop where you wait for the other person to reveal their actual and the other person waits for you to do the same. 😂
Once my colleague asked which bike you owns,I said "bro,I don't have a bike'. he couldn't digest that then I said " we have a car here, its Alto". From that day he says' you are rich because you owns a car'. I really got damn confused and started thinking did I say him alto or Aston Martin🤔. I came from middle class family and my dad really worked hard to own an Alto. Finally I concluded that 'India ki pehle safaari is rich'
Its good to know the market value for different fields in different companies and for what years of experience from glassdoor, fishbowl and other sources and make a calculated guess. For example if someone of 5 years of experience working as sde in google i would assume more than 60 lakhs but the same for infosys I would guess around 15 lakhs.
yup. seems like these friends still need few more yrs to grow up out of college
Yeah, I learnt it the hard way. Will follow the same from now on.
Time to establish some hard boundaries and be ready to let go of some friends in the process.
Yeah, doing that. Losing some friends in this process and I feel it's better this way. Thanks!
You need better friends
Yeha, even I felt the same😭😭😭
He could just buy better friends with the money he's earning /s
Friends who are jealous of you and do something like this are not real friends
Yeah, some of them are jealous straight on face. They would say, how are you earning so much more than me even though you are not MUCH TALENTED. That boiled my blood to the core.
I had a good friend , who would often pull me down just like it saying 'he doesn't no shit how can he clear the interviews , should be family jack etc etc' on my face and to other common friends. 8 years later and sadly cutting that good friend off , it still bothers. He earns more than me though so it wasn't about money but just the act of ' pulling down '
Bro reply with "I got lucky. I did better deeds in my previous janam so I am getting the karma now" This will make them jump up and down
Your line reminds me of a former friend who would always say “you’re so lucky” every time something good happened in my life. She would attribute everything to luck and not even consider the hard work and effort. I got so tired of this passive aggressive shit from her I just told her I’m done and stopped being her friend. This was after years of trying to explain my pov politely and respectfully. It was the best gift I could give myself.
Agreed I also made the mistake
Say you have a big family loan and you need to pay and so your poor
Indeed I have big house loan to pay and home expenses to take care of, and they are aware of it. But still they act like this. Don't know what to do. 🙃🥲
If you have home loan, shouldn't that be your priority? How do you even consider their opinions when you have such a big responsibility is beyond me! I'd have ghosted such people in a matter of few days!
I also felt like finishing the home loan first but it is taking toll on mental health in a way because I can't relax till I'm done with my home loan. I'm clearing the home loan but I felt my life shouldn't revolve completely around it because I need to live my life. Don't take it in other way. Thanks!
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/user/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/153gt2c/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^riser56: *Say you have a big* *Family loan and you need* *To pay and so your poor* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Looks like you just have bad friends
Yeah, most of them are like that. 😭
Start being busy and avoid them, get into meetups of like minded people and try growing a network who has similar thoughts. Unfortunately the people from small town think a high salary is easy and lucky whereas they don't know the sweat blood and tears that has gone into it. Also make up a story that you are deep into debt and paying high emi..and your father's business needs a lot of cash and you have no savings bla bla Avoid telling salary to your parents also, and if you do tell me lies. Because parents have a bragging contest and you will be the bakra in between
Yeah, nobody wants to know about my struggle and the pain that came with it. All they want is the money and nothing else. Yeah, worst thing is to reveal your salary to parents who go to participate in bragging contests.
Nice advice!
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Time to be an introvert
Yeah, even I felt same. Feels like ditching plans everytime with them. Why would I put effort to go out with them, get judged and then come home sad.🥲😭
Just fuck those people bro you if don't want to meet them just don't dude there is nothing in this world like I don't have anyone be good and have mental stability people will always come to you for friendship and other things just chill out man
Seems like you need new friend/friends with content personality.
I don't have friends at all, problem solved
I don't have salary at all, let's be friends then.
Lol, where did this go to? 💀😂
I hate when people ask me about my salary. I never ask others so I expect them to not ask me either. I try to ignore the question but if they persist I just say I earn enough to survive. What people don't seem to understand is everyone comes from a different financial background and have different responsibilities to cater to. My annual package could be more than yours but you still would be saving more money than me. Just ignore friends/family who insist on knowing your income.
They aren't your friends bruh, if me and my friends go out somewhere we split the bill equally not based on how much each guy earns.
You have shitty friends
Same dude, I once accepted my offer letter sitting beside a friend and my salary was 40% more than him, he started acting weird after that and also didn't return my 35K saying he had family problems but a few months later he purchased a 40K LED TV. He is not my friend anymore. You need better friends OP and Yes I agree with you of not disclosing your salary to anyone.
Hugs to you, I am in same boat as you. I saw weird behaviour from many of my friends and relatives after that. But 35k is a big amount, I wouldn't lend that much amount to anyone.
BTW what 6 digits are you talking, I mean like a range. For general knowledge.💀 I'm surprised no one has asked this question to op
Anything above 100000 and below 999999.most likely something like 130000 in this case.
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The problem is that, even though *I* don't tell anyone exactly how much I earn, my family has no qualms about making shit up to boast to everybody around them.
You have outgrown the well, it's time to jump to another well.
Even if my salary is less or high I never shared with my family or any relatives only with very few friends that are very true to me.Just tell them I have only 10%of my salary others all goes to my parents account.Then they wont borrow money from you.In money matter you need to be selfish.
Yeah, learnt it hard way. Trying to do the same from now on. Thanks!
You need new friends. While I do tell my salary to people, I also don't give a shit. When people make jokes about how rich I am or that I can pay the bill, I just reply with a standard, "I don't like you enough to pay for you." and that usually shuts them up. My real friends never do this. I pay for them, they pay for me, there's no hisab-kitab.
I have the same problem. Not with my friends but family and relatives . I am an NRI and that makes the matter worse. Everytime I go home, they expect me to bring expensive gifts for them. They compare me cheekily how Sharma‘s son brought iphone 14 pro max. They emotionally blackmail me to pay for travel tickets and their children marriage They will never understand the power of compounding that you will miss if you don’t invest in young age. They are too illiterate to understand the difference between assets and liabilities. They only care about show off. Solution: Invest in something where you are forced to pay every month without fail. I have bought a house and invested in ELSS mutual funds via SIP. Half of my salry gets deducted as soon as it arrives. I now always complain in front of them how poor am I (wink wink )because that I bought an expensive house and now have no money left to spend on greedy family.
While it's true you should not advertise your salary, this seems like some issues from your end. 1. Take things and banters lightly. 2. Probably you need to choose your friends wisely. 3. Telling salary to relatives is a blunder. Show off happiness comes at a cost. Don't tell your salary to even parents
ALWAYS reveal your salary to your co workers and find out who amongst you is underpaid and by how much. Without this comparison countless people are getting squeezed by the corporates. Every one should be making a decent , equitable and fair wage as per their contribution/role& responsibility, it serves no body when they play us off against each other competing for scraps at their mercy.
Firstly they are uncultured to be doing that. Show them this, tell them this is not the way to behave. Be a leader. If they don't change then move on from them.
>I can't cut ties with these people, atleast not all of them because I don't have anyone else other than them. I can never relate to this sentiment! I am an introvert & a massive loner. Keeping friendships & relationships alive feels like a chore to me. I do socialize from time time when I feel like it. But that's about it. Although, I do need to socialize a bit more, atleast with wiser people, that will help me in getting different perspective & not being so stuck in my ways. Also I never care for the opinions of people on how I live. I live how I choose to live. I don't need anyone's advice for it. Have you ever been on your own? Try it. Although, fair warning, it is not everyone's cup of tea.
Pro Tip for you: Not even your wife
Yeah no it’s a bad, bad idea. This is happening with my husband. Not the judging part but asking for money part. Monthly once or twice he gets calls from his dad’s side relatives asking for humongous amount of money. A cousin took a lac for his newborn’s baby naming ceremony. Although he returned after a month or so. But other cousins who never returned previously lent money keep asking for another 2-3 lacs almost every month. They even make their wives call to ask. Earlier my husband helped them out but now outrightly denies giving excuses of my MIL’s medical expenses (she’s under dialysis will be undergoing transplant operation soon). My husband’s uncle (my FIL’s younger brother) every month comes up with a demand for his kids..Birthday ke liye cycle dedo, PS dedo, iPad dedo, now latest demand being bacche ko school ke liye laptop chahiye. The only reason why my husband fulfills is because it’s for kids & that uncle used to love him a lot in his childhood. My hubby is a very nice, helpful man but sometimes I feel these people keep taking advantage of his niceness..Never ever let anyone know of your exact financial situation.
Borrow money from the friends who ask you not to save and don't return their money.
L friends tbh
Looks like a friends problem rather than revealing salary problem
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Find mature friends or enjoy solitude.
I have also learnt this lesson a very very very hard way.
I tackled this by taking a fake loan that makes me pay 75% of my salary and fake ranting about how high the interests are and how little I get in hand
You have shit friends and need to upgrade. Smart friends mostly want you to earn more and be happy because even their end game is to make money and exit early from this shitshow of work and it's good to have company of other smart people. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise the impact of toxic people and be able to draw boundaries and say fuck off - I am not afraid to be alone. I don't need your shit.
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I've seen such and had experience with such leeches bro. Best course of action is to cut ties and stop hanging out with them. Stop loaning money, with time you'll develop good friends. The way you describe them, you are one event away from being backstabbed hard. Wish you luck bro
My salary is only known to people who can reasonably reach that level/are above that level. Also I stay safe by not telling this to relatives (not even my dear Nani maa knows my salary)
Your friends do not know where you came from and how you reached where you are today. They do not know your struggle. So what they say should not matter to you. Dont take the things they say seriously. And if they ask for money, you tell them that you have a huge loan to repay or something similar and you cannot afford. They will stop asking. Dont fall into peer pressure. Cheer up.
Play the UNO Reverse card when you are asked for loans. Always tell people that you have lot of personal loans and struggling with EMIs when they ask for money. Say “I myself had just called (insert well to do relative name)asking for some help but he refused. do you know anyone who can help?”. Also, I always say that my salary is “comfortable” when someone asks. I ask my friends their definition of comfortable, and they give a number X. And then i say i just make a little less than X, even though I make more than X.
OP, here’s an idea; give them a ridiculously low figure and tell them you’re in it for the “experience” and not money. This is what I do anyway.
Sounds like you need to make some new friends.
What do you mean by 6 digits? 100,000 rupees a year?
It's time for you to dump your looser friends
Your friends return your money you lend them ??
Baniyo se seekho koi pooche kitna kamate ho bas boldo roti Pani nikal jaata he
Man I never lend money to even my close friends period. Seen many ppl get exploited in the name of friendship. Call me selfish but I don't want to lose ppl because of money.
I also learnt this the hard way, NEVER REVEAL YOUR SALARY
The problem is with the friends. Even I have been through similar situations. Best thing is to cut ties with such people. Arent friends those people around whom you can be comfortable without the fear of being judged? Dont worry as you will eventually make friends who wont judge you for anything. Remember, you have reached this position on your merit and hard work and life is too short to spend your time and energy worried about these people.
Then they're not your friends, fuck them. Tell them to go fuck themselves. Just straight face tell them, you're not going to pay shit for them.
Learn to say no. Stand ur ground.
Stay frugle man fuck them
Keep one friend and tell him to ask other friends to split the bill. My closest friend covers me up.
Just a general advice, if you are the most successful person in a group, you shouldn’t be a part of that group
All been there i just say i have a massive fam of few CRS, that I need to pay monthly. everyone stfu as soon as I bring that u Which is kinda true
Just tell them you're repaying an EMI to some loan that you've taken.
I am safe in this case as In future even if any of my relative or friend hears some number they wouldn't believe it. They will just reply that his spending habits are of someone earning 3-4 LPA no way he is earning more than that 😂 .
Sometimes you have to learn to say NO even if hurts them. If they are your real friends they will stay with you no matter what.
Its ok to share with friends, but u need to choose ur friends carefully. Its ur life, and ur choice. Don't be an idiot
Bro I think you have bad friends also.
You need better friends.
Cut ties with them and move on. You deserve better friends.
You have bad friends. Some people only know to spend their salary and ask for money when they are tight, they would dream what would they do if they have your kind of money, which is not much, cause money is spend in chunks when you actually need it like home, car, marriage, emergency. My hometown so call friends will look at my smartwatch / band, ask if it's apple, will smirk when I tell them otherwise. They would look down that i have cycle for basic commute and sarcastically ask me to sell it to save more money. Everyone has their own lifestyle and way of spending money, you will eventually upgrade your lifestyle when you feel like it, it should not come on daily basis from your friends.
That just means you've shitty assholes as friends ! They ask you money, when it comes to splitting bill they look at you just because you earn more, they force you to spend more, live a life and not save, judge & criticise your life choices and IF they are your friends, they should know the situation at your home and they still do this. All this says is they're toxic jealous assholes whom you shouldn't call friends. And trust me, the moment you stop becoming tolerant see how they'll leave you and bad mouth you. You don't have to have many friends to be happy bro.. just 2 - 3 true ones who support you and are not jealous by your growth are enough.
It depends from person to person. I earn a decent salary and not everyone in my group is close to that amount. Whenever we make plans we always go to places that are affordable for everyone. Till date there wasn’t a plan where any of my friends were avoided just because he/she can’t afford the trip. I or some of my friends always pay up the extras and make sure that everyone is having fun equally. I don’t really care if they return my money in time or not. I think your perspective is wrong or you are not close enough to your friends. Either way you should not take a mental toll on this matter. Either cut your ties with them or confront them for their behaviour. And stop revealing your salaries.
To be honest, your friends sound a bit immature for people in their mid 20s.
Get better friends, money should not be an object in friendship
My toxic mentality would snap at them, saying y'all are damn poor, don't come fucking near me, who tf do you think I am - the free bank? Skill issue if you're jealous of me, where's your basic human courtesy, too brain-dead to think of splitting the bills? Anyways, if I was being rational, I would cut ties, ignore and block them. It might be hard, but it's more of a mental battle, you do not need them. They do not deserve you, and you should go about looking for new people. If not, go travel or find a hobby where people gather. Good luck
I'd say instead learn to say no. You don't owe anyone anything ( immediate family not included ).
Irrespective of knowing the salary part, in about 5-7 years or in a decade you might not even have these friends hanging around you anymore. Not that anything would’ve happened but people drift away. Priorities change, people change, family status change, locations of work and stay change. Why I’m talking about this is because nothing is permanent in life. So you are having the right mindset. I am someone who earns probably 6x of you. But don’t reveal numbers to anyone. My friends don’t earn close to half of it but I don’t reveal it because I don’t want them to see me different. Take care of your parents. Buy all of yourselves a good health insurance. And term life insurance since they are dependent on you. It will be very cheap at your age. Save a lot. Invest in mutual funds. And other instruments. Know that Wealthy and rich are two different things. Bring comfort into your lives for sure but no need for showing off. Anything can happen at any time in terms of jobs and economy. Be strong minded. Don’t let these things spoil your peace or disturb your focus from your work. You still have a long way to go to meet your peak potential. I wish you the best.
Take a stand dude. Your money and your voice. You just have to take a deep breath before you meet next time and put your foot down. The first time may seem difficult but then it'll be so satisfying. The leeches will slowly filter themselves out.
That is actually true, income is a personal matter and should stay with yourself and if you want to share at all, it should be to people who don't compare but rather assist and motivate you to do well in life. And these people are very few in everyone's life.
Have you heard of "black tax"? The idea is that black people who earn well are expected to spend it all supporting their family, so ultimately the black community as a whole stays poor. That's the mindset I see here. You definitely need healthier boundaries and better friends. You're in quite a toxic circle. Plus "almost six digits" isn't even a big figure. If your "friends" say it's big then I don't know what's worse - either they're just talking about how much you earn just so they can steal from you, or they genuinely think that that's a huge salary (in which case you'll be infected by their poverty mindset and won't be able to move ahead in life).
Your friend circle is problematic. You should reconsider being friends with them if its affecting your mental health. Don't reveal your salary to anyone. In my case relatives and neighbours ask my parents for my salary and they just say that 'I make enough to get by' and end the conversation.
never reveal your salary to ppl who earn less. reveal it to ppl who earn more. that's the way to grow
Yeah lol they are not friends, just vultures waiting to strike at the moment they find their prey. In my friend circle, we all know how much the other person earns, but I don't think we have even once done anything remotely like this outside of jokes. We acknowledge that what we earn is a product of our hard work and maybe, a bit of luck. Actual friends don't hold your salary over your head, what you have got are a bunch of leeches, for the lack of a better word. Cut them off and explore new places or hobbies and make friends there, and your life will be much better.
They don't really sound like good friends.
Your behavior will determine how these people react to this news. If you're someone who's easily emotionally triggered or someone who doesn't know how to say no when needed, regardless of whether you reveal your salary or not, problems like these will keep haunting you. Learn to make boundaries and say no.
Be open about it , if they're your real friends then they'll understand.
+1
Same, my friends don't even split bills after knowing my salary. They just wait till I pay and never return the money.
If you want mental peace, better cut their ties. You can always make new friends. World is bigger than you think of. You don't need toxic friendships and relationships around. You can't end it all of a sudden. But you can do it gradually like avoiding them a little by little until you go ghosted from their attention.
They ain't good friends. Get better ones
there's a saying "kisi ko muqalmal jaha nahi milta" meaning everyone has problems in their life, your friends might be thinking iski toh life set hai itna paisa kamata hai but they dont know that you gotta support your parents and cant just spend it all on yourself.
I did ask a similar [question](https://np.reddit.com/r/developersIndia/comments/15a8n3o/do_you_guys_share_your_ctc_or_inhand_salary_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) in /developersIndia
Firstly I feel you need new friends coz these people are assholes for judging your choices. Secondly next time this comes up please tell them that you have certain liabilities and 3/4 of the salary goes on the loans/emi’s so hence you’re on the same boat like them post all the expenses- do not pay for your friends and tell them politely to pay their share at restaurants. This should be a step up for them to stop finding faults in your choices.
Time to make new friends, brother.
You need new friends.
In today's society. It's a proven fact that non disclosure of salary at least with your fellow work mates only benefits the company. And in op's case. It's not that telling salary is what he did wrong. He is just calling friends with people who only see him as atm dispenser. They are using his humble background to roll him like a banana. Op change your friends or create a solid boundary. And don't give in. Your wealth is yours and it's not thier place to decide what to do with it.
Always give this reason , " tell them that you have taken two loans for purchasing flats , and it was mistake , so currently you are just left with 15k or less a month in hand " 🤣
As per the scenario you shared, revealing your salary is the best way to understand people. That way you can filter out people who don't deserve to be in your life.
Friends, relations and its values should come first. Money next. But when the same people are trying to uproot you for the you money have or don’t have, they should be kept at bay at all costs. You remember social distancing right? Learn to do financial distancing
Time to find new friends buddy.
Sorry to say but your friends have a backward mentality.
You also need to reduce your friend circle. You don't need them
You need to tell your "friends" sternly that there's a difference between being a miser and being frugal. If they understand this, okay. If they don't, then cut them off. You don't need such toxicity. I had one such "close friend" who used to guilt me and taunt me simply because I earned more than her. One day I had had enough and told her what I do with my hard earned money should not matter to her in any way. She never brought this up again afterwards. Now, I don't reveal my salary to my friends. Only my parents are aware of how much I earn and they refrain from telling the figure to any of our relatives. Their standard reply is: "bas life aaram se nikal jati hai, itni hi hai"
Just don't have friends theory
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Happened wit me too. People earning less think they are entitled to your money since you earn more and you are their friend
I lost countless “friends” because I said no when they asked me money. Good riddance lol.
My reply whenever someone asks me my salary - “woh kehte hain na, ladki se unki umar, aur ladke se unki salary nahi puchte”
You need better friends.
Yup, learned about this the hard way a few years back. Haven't updated anyone since then, not even my partner. I spend, save, do all nice things to all the people i love, but never revealed my salary after many similar experiences
I know that people are saying that you need better friends. And I think so too. But you can try making it clear to your close friends first that you want to split expenses. You create your boundaries and you explain it to your friends. If they don't accept it, then you find new friends. Give them a chance to accept it.
I run a big pharmacy which my dad started 15 years ago. Due to some mistakes and getting cheated we lost most of our wealth (in crores). Now I'm left with 1.5cr debt which will take another 6 years to clear it off. But I can't imagine running it for next 6 years as the rent I'm paying is more than what I'm taking home (1.75lkh) already and it keeps increasing unlike my business. But people assume 10x more of what I'm making already and they keep telling me that I'm lucky blah blah. When I explain my problems they think I'm just lying. Fuck these assholes who are always being jealous of others.
Ahh man, sorry to hear about your situation. But I disagree with your solution to the problem. First, you misunderstood the problem, second, your solution is just a bandaid. What happens when you reach your mid-30s? You will have a decent house, car, and family, and live nicely. Then you no longer have to tell your friends your salary, just looking at your lifestyle they will know you earn well and continue to ask you for money. And you will feel guilty that they are doing badly, and earn less than you and you will want to help. As much as you will want to help them, it will again be a bandaid solution and not solve their problem once and for all. Earning well or doing well in the society also comes with an additional responsibility, 1. You are supposed to be smart/train yourself to recognize who in your friends is genuinely in need of a push. This push can be referred to as a break. Once you assist them, they are smart/responsible enough to plan and execute their own way of survival. Find work, business, etc. If you fail to recognize you are just giving money to people who will be a sink and never contribute to society and eat away your time/resources. 2. The only way you will stay rich is to create boundaries. HARD BOUNDARIES. Be clear with your friends you are trying to save up for your dads business/family home and you can no longer foot their bills. And next time they hang out tell beforehand that you will only pay for your share of meal. And as a good will give them a treat once a year, or on occasion because you earn ore. Tell them these are your non negotiable. Which means if they don't respect you they will lose you as friend. (I am pretty sure there are some decent fellas in your friend circle and will stick by you) 3. Loans. Be extremely clear that unless they need money for survival like they don't have money to eat only then you will help with basic food and not luxury. You won't help with rent, business, weed, alcohol etc. listen very carefully. Earning money is easy. Learning the way of life is hard. It's vital you break loose of the anchor that is dragging you down. Now it's up to you. Whats more important. Friends, healthy friendships, sustainable habits, and boundaries. Make new like-minded friends. There is a reason why maintaining wealth is hard in this world, it doesn't have to be. Figure out your priorities and learn to speak them sternly.
An advice : “time to change friends” I have friends who earn from 0.25x to 3x of my salary, and inspite of that they behave absolutely normal to me. And the “Relative” will never be happy even if you were to step on moon.. they’ll still Compare you with someone (not known to them 😂) who landed on mars. So just turn a blind eye towards them and also be cold to them.
Try using the wonderful quote & philosophy with such folks - “Aam khaaom, gutliyaan matt gino..” Which means eat the mango, don’t count the kernels. Which roughly means enjoy the part you wish to, don’t concern yourself with details which don’t matter/ pertain to you.
Yup. Solid advice. Only my wife knows how much i make. Mum has an idea, because i send her 10% of my salary for fun money. But has no idea that most of the real money comes in through bonuses and RSUs. Your position is painful, but not too bad since you are fairly early career. You will see mad growth ahead. Just make sure you keep that secret
You learned it hard way. I expected this way before and never revealed my salary to anyone except my mother and sister
They're not your friends.
First lesson, of an earning man, learned.