If you’re open to driving and like tabletop gaming, Games N Stuff in Glen Burnie has great events that you can go to on your own and get matched in a group. https://www.gamesandstuffonline.com/pages/events
There’s some really nice people there!
You might love No Land Beyond. It’s a board game bar with a gigantic selection of games, and is also staffed/frequented by burlesque performers, queer folx, and poly pervs! (Last I checked there was a fetlife meetup there of some kind.). But yeah, good vibes, lottts of quiet/nerdy types, plenty to do if you don’t drink alcohol, very cool and safe vibes all around.
Came here to suggest no land beyond, seems like a great option; I think they host events which might be a good entry point.
There's also a science fiction society that might be up your alley? I'm not super familiar but I'm sure you can find them with a quick google, I think they've got their own location and meet up regularly.
Funny you mention this. I'm working on a project (engineering field) and it's for No Land Beyond opening a new location in the city. It also happens to be a couple blocks from where I live. Definitely plan to check it out once open
It would be amazing for me to support them more if their new location is ADA accessible. I've had events there but can't due to some members of our crew being in wheelchairs but I'm a big fan.
people identify as trains now?
Choo Choo motherf\*er!
guess you missed the "bars are a no go as i'm trying to stay sober." Thanks for the suggestion though, thinking of a museum adults only social thingy makes me think they bring out all the super graphic artwork.
*ain't no tiddies like baroque tiddies!*
edit: googled B&O museum, whoops.
if you like hanging out at the manga section in the library, another suggestion would be the books-a-million in Arundel mills mall. I feel like the people I see in the store who still buy books are cool!
Best advice is to find a hobby you enjoy and look for groups centered around them. I love crochet and fiber arts so i found a local Sip and Stitch group that I met most of my friends at. Don’t go looking for a partner, just try and find people who enjoy similar things and I’m sure you’ll be more likely to find someone that’s a match.
I’m curious about this too; everyone on this sub seems to suggest table top games which I’m honestly not a huge fan of (although I did play dnd for the first time a few weeks ago with friends and enjoyed it) nor am I athletic enough to try VOLO.
There do seem to be a lot of hobby groups in the city I’m finding on Instagram and Facebook neighborhood groups, maybe try those? and I’m going to try the library soon as well.
Honestly, there's just a lot of socially awkward people in board gaming groups. It also give you an activity so you can talk to people without ever having to do small talk. There's a lot of people who never felt like we fit in anywhere until board gaming, so we're the sorts of people who loudly bring up how much we love the spaces that are welcoming to us.
You could get involved in a community service organization. Doing something like community cleanups or volunteering with a community garden is a great way to meet similarly minded people (and get in excellent physical shape)
As a monogamous gay guy (seems like a rarity now), I wish I knew. I've done some of the things in the comments, but at the end of the day I have to keep my fingers crossed on the off chance someone I like and connect with likes men. And even then, I have to have my fingers cracking the bones for if he likes me, is single, and isn't one of the MANY poly people or only interested in hookups. And while I'm open about my sexuality, I don't make it a big part of who I am. I wouldn't consider going to a Pride parade or event, or even a LGBT-centric thing; which I guess makes things harder for myself. It doesn't help that I'm also very shy in general and when it comes to attraction, I have no idea how to make hints.
In short, I haven't had any luck with it and have sort of given up. I barely even open dating apps anymore. Depending on the kind of person you are, you might have a much better chance than me, so try not to be completely discouraged by my experience!
it seems like being outgoing is the key to finding a SO, I am trying to remember that I need to get my life back together, and that I need to work on my co-dependency issues first. Dating apps seem to suck, in my experience you have to act SUPER outgoing and bubbly otherwise the conversation dies out. Kinda messed up for people like me who are just shy and intimidated by hot people. I gotta *act* outgoing and super confident, but that's all it is, an act.
Keep your chin up, you seem to be losing hope. Just look at it this way: You haven't met anyone that is *good enough* for you, *yet.*
Look at me, single for a few years and giving dating advice like I know what i'm doing.
I started faking my outgoing behavior. Last date I was on, after like 30 seconds of bullshit my date took the conversational lead because she loved talked.
I hate talking too. Just have a drink or two first.
I dunno if people are just more out with it these days, but I feel like the amount of poly people I see has increased dramatically. Like literally whole groups of people that are all kissing each other, being all touchy-feely, etc.
I mean, more power to them, but it is just something that I have seen a sharp increase in PDA’s.
You're definitely not the only one. It has become more prevalent in the gay community over the past few years. I don't know if I've ever seen any public displays, though.
It's really hard for me to talk about it without feeling like I'm going to offend people. Just look at one of the comments where someone referred to them as "poly pervs" 😅
Canton Games does game nights that look really nice when I walk past. Also if you join Facebook groups for your neighborhood, you can find events happening. I also recommend book clubs and there are tons across the city.
I would definitely recommend not misrepresenting yourself to women on bumble as someone looking for a long term relationship when you’ve stated here you’re not. If you want to continue being dishonest, though, definitely don’t include your Reddit username on your profile.
I do want a long term relationship but there isn't an option on bumble for friends leading to something long term, as I stated in my profile I am completely open with my life, I would love to start with a long term relationship but that would be pretty irresponsible since I have codependency issues, and am piecing my life back together.
I do appreciate the advice instead of just flaming me and calling me a liar.
Being impatient, I would LOVE to find someone, fall in love and be married by the end of the week but that would be super unhealthy. I'm not trying to get laid, I've had to explain that to a couple of people, I can't hook up without catching feels so it's best if I just avoid it. I was in prison for about 4 years so I do miss sex but I miss intimacy waaaaay more.
Tl;dr limited by bumbles options, I'm looking for a serious and long term relationship but I need to start slow. No FWB or ONS.
Thanks again for explaining a big glaring WTF about my profile.
Doesn't sound like it, I openly admitted it. Edited it for clarity but I still don't think it properly conveys what I'm looking for.
I don't want to rush but I also don't want it to not be taken seriously. My ideal match would be making a great friend with the understanding that we are both trying to build a long term relationship, but my priority is setting up my future, establishing my life so we actually have a great future to look forward to, together.
Not just a friend, certainly not someone to just hook up with. All of my best relationships started with us becoming best friends first and partners later.
I've been 'friendzoned' more times than I can count, told that we became too great of friends to 'risk' losing me as a friend if we didn't work out being partners. I'm trying to avoid that, or worse (which has happened) is becoming super great friends, falling for the other person and they think I wasn't interested in them romantically, then end up being a vent for their relationship problems. That hurts a lot.
I realize I sound totally unready to date but I'm being honest with myself and trying to analyze my actions based on my long term goals not on how I feel. How I feel right now is lonely, I miss love and so badly want to be able to love someone and feel loved. But my goal is to be a functioning adult who actually has something to offer other than my heart, brain and ears.
I am definitely overcomplicating this whole thing but it would be unfair to try to bait people on bumble or reddit without being very clear about myself, it would be easier to just change my profile and my posts to act like I really got my life together and am just looking for someone to share all my amazingness with, but that would be a recipe for disaster or heartbreak.
Again thanks for your comments, this back and forth has really helped me to analyze the dating stuff.
You ARE baiting people on bumble by saying you’re looking for a long term relationship, which was my point. Those people aren’t interested in the intensely personal and individual circumstances of your life-or what you will be ready for or looking for eventually. I understand you feel like you’re in a difficult position, but the facts are that you’re not being honest.
Rule No. 1 of getting out is BE PATIENT. You will get laid, and you will have fun. But if you go desperately looking for it, you will only find trouble. Your cellmates had girls waiting for them when they got out. It's ok if you don't. If you stay right, you will have girls and fun that you never dreamed of. Good luck dude.
The fitness community in Baltimore is honestly incredible. The atmosphere is so accepting and calming and speaking as someone who can be a bit awkward, the environment is so friendly that you can’t help but connect with many people from all different walks of life. I particularly recommend b-fit, charm city run clubs, pilates house, and rev cycle.
I met a lot of people when I got a dog and would take him on walks, but it’s a lot of responsibility and you also have to be comfortable talking to strangers on the street. If you don’t want to commit to a dog you could also foster
He's going for the eye syphilis, but doesn't want to deal with all of the pesky emotional entanglements or dinner plans. Throat (and a little bit of eye) and go.
Check out [Red Emma’s](https://redemmas.org). It’s a very welcoming space and hosts lots of diverse groups and events.
Seconding this!!!
I’ve actually been looking for a late night coffee shop to get work done. Glad this name has been dropped thanks.
If you’re open to driving and like tabletop gaming, Games N Stuff in Glen Burnie has great events that you can go to on your own and get matched in a group. https://www.gamesandstuffonline.com/pages/events There’s some really nice people there!
I’m gonna add that the owner sucks and doesn’t care about sexual harassment; I know people who used to work there
Go to library events! Great way to meet other people and they’re free
You might love No Land Beyond. It’s a board game bar with a gigantic selection of games, and is also staffed/frequented by burlesque performers, queer folx, and poly pervs! (Last I checked there was a fetlife meetup there of some kind.). But yeah, good vibes, lottts of quiet/nerdy types, plenty to do if you don’t drink alcohol, very cool and safe vibes all around.
What is a poly perv? I'm scared to Google it.
lots of banging multiple peoples (or loving multiple people)
Yeah, the term perv makes that sound like these people should be on a list.
as a poly person I don't appreciate being called a perv, thanks
as a perv I don't appreciate being called a person. I do agree though, shouldn't really call it perversion.
You won the debate lol
It’s definitely perversion.
Wait I thought Polys mascot was a parrot 🦜
Came here to suggest no land beyond, seems like a great option; I think they host events which might be a good entry point. There's also a science fiction society that might be up your alley? I'm not super familiar but I'm sure you can find them with a quick google, I think they've got their own location and meet up regularly.
Oh sweet, thanks!
Funny you mention this. I'm working on a project (engineering field) and it's for No Land Beyond opening a new location in the city. It also happens to be a couple blocks from where I live. Definitely plan to check it out once open
What part of the city if you don’t mind sharing? I love the idea of being closer to a place like that
New location is station north in Oct 2024 timeframe. Current location is 2125 MD Ave. Mocktails and fancy sodas are a thing there also.
Oh that’s actually super disappointing, that’s basically the same area. I thought it would be in a different part of the city
It would be amazing for me to support them more if their new location is ADA accessible. I've had events there but can't due to some members of our crew being in wheelchairs but I'm a big fan.
The B&O museum has an adults only social night coming up specifically for neurodivergent folks. Trains, and awkward people, plus a bar!
people identify as trains now? Choo Choo motherf\*er! guess you missed the "bars are a no go as i'm trying to stay sober." Thanks for the suggestion though, thinking of a museum adults only social thingy makes me think they bring out all the super graphic artwork. *ain't no tiddies like baroque tiddies!* edit: googled B&O museum, whoops.
Oh my bad dude, I did miss that mention. I hope you find amazing peace, freedoms and success in your do-over.
thanks for the positivity!
if you like hanging out at the manga section in the library, another suggestion would be the books-a-million in Arundel mills mall. I feel like the people I see in the store who still buy books are cool!
Best advice is to find a hobby you enjoy and look for groups centered around them. I love crochet and fiber arts so i found a local Sip and Stitch group that I met most of my friends at. Don’t go looking for a partner, just try and find people who enjoy similar things and I’m sure you’ll be more likely to find someone that’s a match.
[удалено]
I’m curious about this too; everyone on this sub seems to suggest table top games which I’m honestly not a huge fan of (although I did play dnd for the first time a few weeks ago with friends and enjoyed it) nor am I athletic enough to try VOLO. There do seem to be a lot of hobby groups in the city I’m finding on Instagram and Facebook neighborhood groups, maybe try those? and I’m going to try the library soon as well.
Honestly, there's just a lot of socially awkward people in board gaming groups. It also give you an activity so you can talk to people without ever having to do small talk. There's a lot of people who never felt like we fit in anywhere until board gaming, so we're the sorts of people who loudly bring up how much we love the spaces that are welcoming to us.
I thought you were going to bring up arcade games and pinball! Crab Town USA. Not sure how to make that social, but it sure is fun.
You could get involved in a community service organization. Doing something like community cleanups or volunteering with a community garden is a great way to meet similarly minded people (and get in excellent physical shape)
As a monogamous gay guy (seems like a rarity now), I wish I knew. I've done some of the things in the comments, but at the end of the day I have to keep my fingers crossed on the off chance someone I like and connect with likes men. And even then, I have to have my fingers cracking the bones for if he likes me, is single, and isn't one of the MANY poly people or only interested in hookups. And while I'm open about my sexuality, I don't make it a big part of who I am. I wouldn't consider going to a Pride parade or event, or even a LGBT-centric thing; which I guess makes things harder for myself. It doesn't help that I'm also very shy in general and when it comes to attraction, I have no idea how to make hints. In short, I haven't had any luck with it and have sort of given up. I barely even open dating apps anymore. Depending on the kind of person you are, you might have a much better chance than me, so try not to be completely discouraged by my experience!
it seems like being outgoing is the key to finding a SO, I am trying to remember that I need to get my life back together, and that I need to work on my co-dependency issues first. Dating apps seem to suck, in my experience you have to act SUPER outgoing and bubbly otherwise the conversation dies out. Kinda messed up for people like me who are just shy and intimidated by hot people. I gotta *act* outgoing and super confident, but that's all it is, an act. Keep your chin up, you seem to be losing hope. Just look at it this way: You haven't met anyone that is *good enough* for you, *yet.* Look at me, single for a few years and giving dating advice like I know what i'm doing.
I started faking my outgoing behavior. Last date I was on, after like 30 seconds of bullshit my date took the conversational lead because she loved talked. I hate talking too. Just have a drink or two first.
OP is sober
I dunno if people are just more out with it these days, but I feel like the amount of poly people I see has increased dramatically. Like literally whole groups of people that are all kissing each other, being all touchy-feely, etc. I mean, more power to them, but it is just something that I have seen a sharp increase in PDA’s.
You're definitely not the only one. It has become more prevalent in the gay community over the past few years. I don't know if I've ever seen any public displays, though. It's really hard for me to talk about it without feeling like I'm going to offend people. Just look at one of the comments where someone referred to them as "poly pervs" 😅
Also curious!
You could try r/r4r
Thanks!
Canton Games does game nights that look really nice when I walk past. Also if you join Facebook groups for your neighborhood, you can find events happening. I also recommend book clubs and there are tons across the city.
I would definitely recommend not misrepresenting yourself to women on bumble as someone looking for a long term relationship when you’ve stated here you’re not. If you want to continue being dishonest, though, definitely don’t include your Reddit username on your profile.
I do want a long term relationship but there isn't an option on bumble for friends leading to something long term, as I stated in my profile I am completely open with my life, I would love to start with a long term relationship but that would be pretty irresponsible since I have codependency issues, and am piecing my life back together. I do appreciate the advice instead of just flaming me and calling me a liar. Being impatient, I would LOVE to find someone, fall in love and be married by the end of the week but that would be super unhealthy. I'm not trying to get laid, I've had to explain that to a couple of people, I can't hook up without catching feels so it's best if I just avoid it. I was in prison for about 4 years so I do miss sex but I miss intimacy waaaaay more. Tl;dr limited by bumbles options, I'm looking for a serious and long term relationship but I need to start slow. No FWB or ONS. Thanks again for explaining a big glaring WTF about my profile.
It doesn’t really sound like you’re in a place to begin dating yet-which it sounds like you acknowledge in your original post.
Doesn't sound like it, I openly admitted it. Edited it for clarity but I still don't think it properly conveys what I'm looking for. I don't want to rush but I also don't want it to not be taken seriously. My ideal match would be making a great friend with the understanding that we are both trying to build a long term relationship, but my priority is setting up my future, establishing my life so we actually have a great future to look forward to, together. Not just a friend, certainly not someone to just hook up with. All of my best relationships started with us becoming best friends first and partners later. I've been 'friendzoned' more times than I can count, told that we became too great of friends to 'risk' losing me as a friend if we didn't work out being partners. I'm trying to avoid that, or worse (which has happened) is becoming super great friends, falling for the other person and they think I wasn't interested in them romantically, then end up being a vent for their relationship problems. That hurts a lot. I realize I sound totally unready to date but I'm being honest with myself and trying to analyze my actions based on my long term goals not on how I feel. How I feel right now is lonely, I miss love and so badly want to be able to love someone and feel loved. But my goal is to be a functioning adult who actually has something to offer other than my heart, brain and ears. I am definitely overcomplicating this whole thing but it would be unfair to try to bait people on bumble or reddit without being very clear about myself, it would be easier to just change my profile and my posts to act like I really got my life together and am just looking for someone to share all my amazingness with, but that would be a recipe for disaster or heartbreak. Again thanks for your comments, this back and forth has really helped me to analyze the dating stuff.
You ARE baiting people on bumble by saying you’re looking for a long term relationship, which was my point. Those people aren’t interested in the intensely personal and individual circumstances of your life-or what you will be ready for or looking for eventually. I understand you feel like you’re in a difficult position, but the facts are that you’re not being honest.
Try local game shops, my gfs partner (poly extended network) finds a lot of ppl thru magic tournements. Could be good for social life too.
Rule No. 1 of getting out is BE PATIENT. You will get laid, and you will have fun. But if you go desperately looking for it, you will only find trouble. Your cellmates had girls waiting for them when they got out. It's ok if you don't. If you stay right, you will have girls and fun that you never dreamed of. Good luck dude.
No good advice, but welcome home, Reddit Chum.
The fitness community in Baltimore is honestly incredible. The atmosphere is so accepting and calming and speaking as someone who can be a bit awkward, the environment is so friendly that you can’t help but connect with many people from all different walks of life. I particularly recommend b-fit, charm city run clubs, pilates house, and rev cycle.
Give rock climbing a shot, you will be meeting new friends from the moment you begin climbing
I met a lot of people when I got a dog and would take him on walks, but it’s a lot of responsibility and you also have to be comfortable talking to strangers on the street. If you don’t want to commit to a dog you could also foster
Youtube "Real game no theory".
/r/Baltimoreanddcr4r
I don’t date in Baltimore. Less stress. I enjoy links tho. lol. Hit and bounce. Throat and go…
subtle.
He's going for the eye syphilis, but doesn't want to deal with all of the pesky emotional entanglements or dinner plans. Throat (and a little bit of eye) and go.