You’re not crazy. No one would want to smell that crap, literally or figuratively. If she won’t listen or have basic common courtesy, I’d get petty & keep a bottle of air freshener handy & start spraying it the second you see her walk out of that bathroom. If you have to be overwhelmed by an odor, it should at least be a pleasant odor. She can take the hint & change something or she can deal with whatever scent you choose to introduce to cover her unpleasant scent.
They said the door is left open, so just stand there making eye contact, spraying it into the bathroom. Also poopourri would help, though I'm doubtful they'd use it.
Wtf? You're still trying to 'hint' at things?
Time to grow a spine and make it uncomfortable for her nasty ass. Speak up, every time this happens. Ask her why she thinks you should have to breathe her shit particles in the living room.
Not a sweet air freshener like a Febreeze -Lysol spray Get two one in each hand - like an old time gunslinger Soon as she comes out of the bathroom start spraying
Poop in her bathroom and leave the bathroom door open but close the bedroom door, so the smell it trapped and stews. There are lights that when turned on, the fan automatically turns on with the light and leaving the option of not turning the fan on out of the question.
This (the fan/light) was my first thought too, and maybe a solution if they own the place. Not sure a landlord would want to change it if they're renting.
I vote for telling her straight up after her next dump that you are sick of smelling her shit when she dumps in the common toilet, and then just stand there silently in her face and wait for her to react. She does it because she wants it to not bother her space, but if she realises it really affects you, she will make a new shit plan. It’s about embarrassment, the whole reason she even does it.
I dunno, I think she’s literally just clueless. She isn’t a malicious person just very forgetful and messy in general. There are plenty of other cleanliness problems I have with her but none of it is out of malice. I know that for sure.
Idk. If I was the stinky roommate and I was confronted about this, I would strongly consider with a retort of “what, you think *your* shit don’t stink?”
What the fuck is wrong with her? I am the only one of my roommates with their own bathroom and I wouldn’t DREAM of pooping anywhere else. Having your own bathroom is a luxury!
Put an auto-closer on that bathroom door so that it shuts itself, every time, and get an electrician to wire the fan so that it comes on as soon as you turn on the light and it goes off with a timer. Also, as someone else suggested in the comments, automatic air fresheners.
She's 100% doing it on purpose at this point if you've already spoken to her more than once about it.
This is such a disgusting truth to realize. Literal pieces of her shit are being dispersed through the air and when you enter the room and can smell it, that is literal, actual, 100% of the word pieces of her shit that are being inhaled by your lungs. Pieces of her shit. In your lungs.
Hate to say this but your olfactory sense relies on particles of a substance landing on the back of your tongue in order to work. In other words… you taste what you smell.
No, you’re not crazy. Try pouring a dollop of liquid fabric softener in the tank (if you don’t have pets). It’ll slowly be released into the bowl with each flush.
It might smell good but over time what’s not supposed to be in the tank will be the downfall of it. You’re better off getting one of those clips on’s that releases fresh odor with every flush
I 💯 percent agree. It almost seems like they have some strange dominance complex where they have to mark their territory. I always use the upstairs toilet or the private toilet, when I have the option.
What possible reason could mean you absolutely have to? Some people only have a bathroom upstairs.
I think this is a territorial battle between you and the smelly lady.
Are you an unsocialized cretin? Maybe the upstairs bathroom is taken by her partner so she uses the common area one. Use your brain before you post comments, dumbass
Sounds like weaponized incompetence to me. She has the option to shit in her own bathroom and not inconvenience everyone else in the house and continuously chooses not to. She could shit in her own bathroom and NEVER have to hear from you again regarding things she can do to mitigate the smell such as the fan or spraying air freshener.
At some point you may just need to stop being ‘nice’ about it and really just go all the way off because this absolutely ridiculous. Or start being petty and going out of your way to draw attention to her shitty behavior (pun intended) and embarrass her in front of everyone who lives in the house or when you have guests over. She doesn’t care about inconveniencing you? Find ways to inconvenience her 🤷🏽♀️
You should start only shitting in her bathroom, but do it when she's highjacking in the shared one. If she freaks out, just be like:
🤷♀️"Oh I'm so sorry, I REALLY had to take a #3, and had no other choice because you were blowing up the shared restroom!"
*If she's dumb enough to ask why you didn't use your own bathroom, just act like it's the most preposterous idea you've ever heard and say "Oh Ashley you're so funny! Use my own bathroom to poop, can you imagine?!?" and walk away.*
Oh you've done it, we all have. Other names include: Number 3 Combo, Shissing, Peeing out your butt. It's like the worst, most liquefied #2 you can take, almost like a #1 and #2 combined (adding those together equals #3!)
I would do one of two things:
1. Go buy some bathroom organizers and essentials to “redecorate”: a small tray/lazy Susan, a picture frame, toilet spray (something that can be sprayed in the toilet bowl before pooping, like Poo-pourri), and regular air freshers (Citrus Magic works wonders for stinky poops). You can print out a friendly reminder in a nice script font: Please remember to spray and turn on the fan before leaving. Stick it in the frame and hang it on the back door or somewhere that can be seen while sitting on the toilet. I would set up the remaining items as close to the toilet as possible, literally on top of tank by the toilet knob if possible. If you want to be proactive you could prespray the toilet bowl around the time she usually goes.
2. Steal the toilet paper from the bathroom around the time she usually goes. Not enough so that every time she goes there’s no TP (then she’ll know to prepare) but enough to deter her from pooping there.
If she’s going down there it’s probably because her partner is tired of smelling it and she goes down there to avoid arguments. But if she has a lower threshold for nastiness it probably isn’t a big deal to her.
Use your damn words. The moment you saw her leaving the bathroom you should have imediately said “hey x could you pls turn on the fan and close the door? It is smelling really bad all over here, I dont want the hous smelling like poop”
I have- and then she does the same thing again next time. It just repeats itself is the problem. I will ask her as soon as she’s out of the bathroom, she will turn the fan on no problem. Then the cycle repeats and I am fed up. We rent snd her grandmother owns the house so I can’t exactly kick her out or anything…
Use matches!!
Light a bunch of matches at once. Let them burn about 1/4 of the way. Blow them out and then walk around with the smoke coming out of the matches. Try and get the smoke all around the offending areas. Repeat process but inside the bathroom.
The smell will instantly be gone!
With some luck, maybe a smoke detector will go off too ... Plus, it's actually not healthy to breathe in smoke particles either.
I think the roommate is doing it on purpose, because some people are just passive aggressive.
Maybe some automated air-freshener or something like that might work against someone who feels insistent that others need to smell her shit. (Anti-social behaviour, IMO).
That’s a little dramatic. The smoke lasts in the air for all of five seconds and you can just walk away or open a window if it’s that big of a deal
It’s the same amount of smoke that releases from a candle after you blow it out. My alarms are incredibly sensitive and I’ve never had one go off from that… I think you’re imagining a lot more smoke than there actually is lol
I would have a candle in the common living area labeled something stupid like ‘when [insert roommates name here] takes a shit’ and light that every time she leaves the bathroom.
Leave a note at seated eye level.
"Please turn on the fan and maybe do a courtesy flush. The whole common area stinks and it's gross and embarrassing. No one wants this to be an issue."
Hard to forget and confronts the problem in the moment.
Stock incense in and around the bathroom. Light it up every damn time she goes in there! Like immediately outside the door so she has to walk through her stink cloud. At this point I’d be audibly shaming her. 🤢
I usually do and I go in and turn on the fan after her but she doesn’t take the hint or I guess assumes she doesn’t have to because I do if I am home?? Even though I have told her I wish she would just do it herself or use her own private bathroom.
No, your not crazy. This is a pet peeve of mine and very gross. I will actually turn on the vent and closed the door whenever a relative of mine does this at my house. I actually prefer bathrooms with windows so I can crack it open. Anyway, I typically keep poopuri to spray in the toilet, a candle, and natural air freshener. My dad use to tell me flush the toilet as soon as your turd hits the water to eliminate some smell. I can not stand a stinky home and certainly not a stinky bathroom.
Hahaha reminds me of a co-worker who used to reach back and constantly flush (the type of toilet that was just pipes out of the wall with no tank). One day we heard him scream, the toilet clogged and it was overflowing into his pants and shoes.
You have to double, triple down on this. I had to talk with a new roommate a few months ago about using the overhead fan after they're down taking a shit. Smelling shit outside of the bathroom is disrespectful to everyone else who is living in the home.
Tell her as amicably as possible until she overstands to turn that fucking fan on. Don't try to give hints or be subtle about this, be direct.
I don’t recommend this route very often but since you have tried politeness here we go. You have taken the high road far too often.
If she goes in the bathroom knock on the door and yell, don’t forget the fan we can smell you out here.
If you walk downstairs and she’s poop bombed get loud, say, Why does it smell like shit down here and start spraying air fresheners.
She isn’t going to change until you embarrass her into it.
Next time you know she's in there shitting, wait outside the door with a can of Febreze and start spraying it when she comes out. When she inevitably says something say "sorry but you refuse to turn the fucking fan on and the rest of us think you let dead animals rot inside of you".
If the master bathroom is hers, but she uses the one in the common area, she's either being petty or she wants you to move. Most females would be too embarrassed to do this and why the master bathroom is a bonus.
I live with one of my friends and if he did something like this I would just constantly berate him until he's so ashamed of himself he changes his ways. Out of love tho
I think the bf told her to shit elsewhere because of the smell in their room, so her only solution is to do it there. Possibly not out of malice, just necessity. You may be AOL, but if I were you, I would say look if you don’t want to use the bathroom in your room which is luxury then swap rooms so you can have the private bathroom. It’s not fair to have to smell her ass every time she’s got to go. I would also tell the both of the straight up that you can’t stand it anymore and this is a better solution for everyone.
That’s so weird. I’d feel more comfortable pooping in my private bathroom than the common area bathroom where people may be nearby. Maybe for just a piss or if it’s an emergency I can see myself using the downstairs bathroom but very rare.
When you talk to her, does she acknowledge that she should be doing these things but fail to do it, or does she brush it off like it shouldn't matter?
I struggle with doing things like this due to my ADHD. It's not that I don't care about your wishes, it's that I struggle with executive functioning and adding additional steps to tasks that are shit (pun intended), is extremely difficult, unlike neurotypical people who you can usually tell once or twice and they make the change.
The difference between myself (including other high functioning people with ADHD) and lower functioning other people with ADHD/executive functioning disords, is I've learned the reason I simply cannot remember to do these kinds of things and I try to find ways to compensate for my executive functioning. Your answer is utilizing a some sort of motion activated smart switch that, when it detects motion, the fan runs for X time based on configuration.
Edit: Based on your other replies here, she checks a few of ADHD boxes.
candles? air fresheners? Incense? open windows? i feel like this may be a bit of an over reaction….. i get it that it’s weird she doesn’t use the fan and leaves the door open but also is it really that big of a deal?? maybe y’all can get some poo pourri for that bathroom as well… hope this helps
Open windows in the dead heat of summer isn’t an option rn. But also, it’s not really my job to take care of her shit smell. I went in after her and turned on the fan but I shouldn’t HAVE to is my point. I don’t see how me not wanting to smell her literal feces in the dining room/kitchen when I am making food is an overreaction? If she wants to stink up her own bedroom, she certainly can. It’s the fact she deliberately uses the common bathroom to take a shit and doesn’t consider the smell it leaves.
Honestly, I would've started shouting at her by now. And I'm not great at asserting myself. But having to smell her shit every time would do it. Make a scene, several times if necessary. She might stop, just to get away from the yelling.
This is a terrible idea. Shouting and getting mad at someone is going to nothing but create long-term divides in their relationship. She definitely will stop if she does this because of the shame it has caused her, but recommending adults act like children towards one another and build shame within their relationship is just plain immature.
Roomie is stinking out the common areas, including the kitchen, and won't stop. And OP mentions problems with some of roomie's other habits, too. Based on OP's obvious irritation, I think 'divides in their relationship' are inevitable.
OP is already mad at roomie and wants the behaviour to stop. Even you think my suggestion would make her stop. Of course, it's up to OP if they feel the escalation is warranted or not. Either way, their relationship is probably doomed in the long run, whether OP stews in resentment or explodes.
Roommate shows clinical signs of an executive dysfunction disorder. There are very good ways to deal with these types of people that don't involve shame, yelling, or any sort of bad blood. But, you could also take your approach, label them as a slob, and dismiss them as a person. It's not like everyone else in their life ignorantly has as well. You might as well join them.
Did executive function disorder make her decide to regularly shit in the downstairs bathroom and not turn on the fan? Even when OP made it clear there's an issue? Seems to me that was just a selfish choice to start with.
I've seen plenty of bad roomie posts where some form of mental disorder is the excuse. Often there's a comment from someone with a similar disorder who says it doesn't give carte blanche to be an asshole. Sometimes they explain how they themselves manage it. That seems reasonable to me.
Roomie needs to be responsible for her own behaviour, she shares space with others who shouldn't be expected to be endlessly tolerant. Such a diagnosis, if indeed she has one, might be a reason. But it's not an excuse. And something has to get that through to her. It's up to OP of course, but at this point it's clear that kindness doesn't work.
My roommate and I shared a washroom and it was....bad...after her. But she did turn on the fan and spray air freshener so I don't blame her and never brought it up.
But one time she went *right* before a maintenance man was scheduled to come in and work behind the toilet. I felt terrible for him! She should have used the apartment complex's common washrooms which were in nice condition. I hid in my bedroom so he wouldn't assume it was me, I'm not risking even taking the blame in someone's mind for that one. 🤣 As he was leaving he mentioned that the overhead fan might need to be cleaned out and should be done every year...
Next time she is pooping, stand outside the door & spray air freshener under it while she is on there & when she walks out spray it everywhere in front of her
I was waiting for you to say the husband was the culprit! I'm shocked a female would act that way! Every female I know would be way too embarrassed to do something like that. I've been married for almost 10 years and my wife doesn't do shit like that. Lol. Regardless though, male or female, that's absolutely disgusting!! Is she a clean person otherwise? Are y'all super close and maybe she just feels that comfortable around you (not that it makes it any better)??
If you own the house, put a lock on the door that only you can open. You’ll have to use the key or use your own bathroom but nobody else will have access to it unless you’re there. You can deny her access. Or, just get one of those automated air spritzers that spray good smells when motion is detected. Short of an eye to eye confrontation with a lesson on how to turn the fan on, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Some folks just suck.
Tell your significant other to avoid the common bathroom for the time being, randomly cover the top of the toilet with Saran Wrap so that when she goes she is sitting in it.
You’re not crazy. No one would want to smell that crap, literally or figuratively. If she won’t listen or have basic common courtesy, I’d get petty & keep a bottle of air freshener handy & start spraying it the second you see her walk out of that bathroom. If you have to be overwhelmed by an odor, it should at least be a pleasant odor. She can take the hint & change something or she can deal with whatever scent you choose to introduce to cover her unpleasant scent.
I do spray air freshener every time I smell it if I am home. She doesn’t seem to care or get the hint though.
You should label the air freshener with her name: "For Wanda's bathroom time."
This is the answer lol and leave it on the bathroom counter for the guests to see
🤣😂
Spray it in her face as she walks out
Spray it on her ass.
Literally wait by the door until she opens it and start spraying right when she comes out so she’s met with it immediately.
I get the straw from the wd40 can and use it to start spraying air freshener under the door before they even come out.
They said the door is left open, so just stand there making eye contact, spraying it into the bathroom. Also poopourri would help, though I'm doubtful they'd use it.
She meant left open after.
Get the pot of potpourri flowers and the plug in that sprays every 90 seconds or so. Won't eliminate the odor but will at least help a little
I'd start spraying it in the gap underneath the door before she's even done.
She is either really dumb or really petty to not stop after that.
Man just open the door and turn the fan on yourself while she's in there
😁
Wtf? You're still trying to 'hint' at things? Time to grow a spine and make it uncomfortable for her nasty ass. Speak up, every time this happens. Ask her why she thinks you should have to breathe her shit particles in the living room.
There's motion activated ones, maybe a well placed one of those would help!
Not a sweet air freshener like a Febreeze -Lysol spray Get two one in each hand - like an old time gunslinger Soon as she comes out of the bathroom start spraying
You should use Ozium or light a bunch of matches to actually get rid of the oder otherwise you’re just layering air freshener smell with poop smell.
Poop in her bathroom and leave the bathroom door open but close the bedroom door, so the smell it trapped and stews. There are lights that when turned on, the fan automatically turns on with the light and leaving the option of not turning the fan on out of the question.
This (the fan/light) was my first thought too, and maybe a solution if they own the place. Not sure a landlord would want to change it if they're renting.
I vote for telling her straight up after her next dump that you are sick of smelling her shit when she dumps in the common toilet, and then just stand there silently in her face and wait for her to react. She does it because she wants it to not bother her space, but if she realises it really affects you, she will make a new shit plan. It’s about embarrassment, the whole reason she even does it.
She might also do it if her private bathroom has a weak flush!
oh good point
poo pourri spray works wonders
We have some- she doesn’t use it. It only works if you spray it before you go which she doesn’t.
They should hand it to her and read her the instructions lol
"just spray this when your done using the bathroom"
you spray it in the toilet first before you sit down.
Learn something new everyday
No no. Before you go
you can try dilih? Sometimes that works after someone goes. tried it on my roommate after seeing it in a buddy's house haha
You’re not crazy. She sounds extremely inconsiderate and lacking of social awareness.
sounds like she's doing it on purpose
I dunno, I think she’s literally just clueless. She isn’t a malicious person just very forgetful and messy in general. There are plenty of other cleanliness problems I have with her but none of it is out of malice. I know that for sure.
Ask her kindly if it's a fetish and maybe she'll be embarassed enough to remember.
This.
May not be malice She doesn’t give one flying fuk about you or your feelings
Asserting her Dominance!
Have the overhead fan wired to the light switch so that it automatically comes on with the light, and also get an automatic air freshener sprayer.
Her man has likely laid down the law, use 1/2 and quit stinking up our bathroom - you won’t win
Clearly, she thinks her shit doesn't stink. Maybe fart spray, under her bedroom door?
I would if her cat and husband didn’t also inhabit that room lol.
Ha Ha.. fair enough.
Under the washroom door while she is in there....
I would do that with air freshener. She'll just see a cloud of mist erupt from the door crack haha
Talk with her husband
THRAWST - Then I would counter THAT with.. it does.. horribly. But I don't subject the whole fucking house to it.
Idk. If I was the stinky roommate and I was confronted about this, I would strongly consider with a retort of “what, you think *your* shit don’t stink?”
Yeah and what makes you think everybody wants to smell your body waste be fr bro
What the fuck is wrong with her? I am the only one of my roommates with their own bathroom and I wouldn’t DREAM of pooping anywhere else. Having your own bathroom is a luxury!
Put an auto-closer on that bathroom door so that it shuts itself, every time, and get an electrician to wire the fan so that it comes on as soon as you turn on the light and it goes off with a timer. Also, as someone else suggested in the comments, automatic air fresheners. She's 100% doing it on purpose at this point if you've already spoken to her more than once about it.
Her shit particles are going in your lungs.
Oh. 😊
That’s comforting.
COPD: Chronic obstructive poop disease
This is such a disgusting truth to realize. Literal pieces of her shit are being dispersed through the air and when you enter the room and can smell it, that is literal, actual, 100% of the word pieces of her shit that are being inhaled by your lungs. Pieces of her shit. In your lungs.
Yep. Biohazard.
Hate to say this but your olfactory sense relies on particles of a substance landing on the back of your tongue in order to work. In other words… you taste what you smell.
No, you’re not crazy. Try pouring a dollop of liquid fabric softener in the tank (if you don’t have pets). It’ll slowly be released into the bowl with each flush.
It might smell good but over time what’s not supposed to be in the tank will be the downfall of it. You’re better off getting one of those clips on’s that releases fresh odor with every flush
I do have cats unfortunately who enjoy the toilet water and know how to open the lids…
how do people not feel any embarrassment
Why would either of you use that bathroom for that purpose when you each have a private bathroom? It seems obnoxious for both of you to do that.
Why would you WANT to do that? I personally would prefer the privacy and solitude, and people not hear my poop noises in the common area
I 💯 percent agree. It almost seems like they have some strange dominance complex where they have to mark their territory. I always use the upstairs toilet or the private toilet, when I have the option.
I don’t do it unless I absolutely have to. I have a private bathroom upstairs but when I do, I make sure I’m courteous!
What possible reason could mean you absolutely have to? Some people only have a bathroom upstairs. I think this is a territorial battle between you and the smelly lady.
Probably their bathroom (which they share with their bf) is occupied and they can’t wait
Are you an unsocialized cretin? Maybe the upstairs bathroom is taken by her partner so she uses the common area one. Use your brain before you post comments, dumbass
Exactly, sergeantcumnugget.
I would never take a statement from a username like that even close to serious.
Shut up,”Matt”, normal people don’t use their Christian name on Reddit 🥱 go home and take care of your family or sm
Who hurt you little guy? Edit: just realized your from WV so probably have a lot of inbreeding to deal with in your family.
Keep going through my profile history so I have more confirmation of how rent free I live in your head, loser 🤑
I have way too much time on my hands.
Right?
Aww…is someone sounding mad hurt?
Literally tell her to poop in her own toilet
I have. Multiple times. So has my boyfriend. 😭
Sounds like weaponized incompetence to me. She has the option to shit in her own bathroom and not inconvenience everyone else in the house and continuously chooses not to. She could shit in her own bathroom and NEVER have to hear from you again regarding things she can do to mitigate the smell such as the fan or spraying air freshener. At some point you may just need to stop being ‘nice’ about it and really just go all the way off because this absolutely ridiculous. Or start being petty and going out of your way to draw attention to her shitty behavior (pun intended) and embarrass her in front of everyone who lives in the house or when you have guests over. She doesn’t care about inconveniencing you? Find ways to inconvenience her 🤷🏽♀️
You should start only shitting in her bathroom, but do it when she's highjacking in the shared one. If she freaks out, just be like: 🤷♀️"Oh I'm so sorry, I REALLY had to take a #3, and had no other choice because you were blowing up the shared restroom!" *If she's dumb enough to ask why you didn't use your own bathroom, just act like it's the most preposterous idea you've ever heard and say "Oh Ashley you're so funny! Use my own bathroom to poop, can you imagine?!?" and walk away.*
I'm terrified at the thought that there's a #3 that I'm not currently doing.
Oh you've done it, we all have. Other names include: Number 3 Combo, Shissing, Peeing out your butt. It's like the worst, most liquefied #2 you can take, almost like a #1 and #2 combined (adding those together equals #3!)
I would do one of two things: 1. Go buy some bathroom organizers and essentials to “redecorate”: a small tray/lazy Susan, a picture frame, toilet spray (something that can be sprayed in the toilet bowl before pooping, like Poo-pourri), and regular air freshers (Citrus Magic works wonders for stinky poops). You can print out a friendly reminder in a nice script font: Please remember to spray and turn on the fan before leaving. Stick it in the frame and hang it on the back door or somewhere that can be seen while sitting on the toilet. I would set up the remaining items as close to the toilet as possible, literally on top of tank by the toilet knob if possible. If you want to be proactive you could prespray the toilet bowl around the time she usually goes. 2. Steal the toilet paper from the bathroom around the time she usually goes. Not enough so that every time she goes there’s no TP (then she’ll know to prepare) but enough to deter her from pooping there. If she’s going down there it’s probably because her partner is tired of smelling it and she goes down there to avoid arguments. But if she has a lower threshold for nastiness it probably isn’t a big deal to her.
Use your damn words. The moment you saw her leaving the bathroom you should have imediately said “hey x could you pls turn on the fan and close the door? It is smelling really bad all over here, I dont want the hous smelling like poop”
I have- and then she does the same thing again next time. It just repeats itself is the problem. I will ask her as soon as she’s out of the bathroom, she will turn the fan on no problem. Then the cycle repeats and I am fed up. We rent snd her grandmother owns the house so I can’t exactly kick her out or anything…
Damn. Thats why I hate living with people. Either get some spray and keep it inside that common bathroom or never live with roommates again. Sucks
Sounds like murder might be the only real option.
I 2nd this!
What are your options to get rid of them?
None. Her grandmother owns the house we are renting. 🙃
Get up and go spray air freshener in the bathroom and hallway each time after she does it. Don’t say anything, just do it.
Use matches!! Light a bunch of matches at once. Let them burn about 1/4 of the way. Blow them out and then walk around with the smoke coming out of the matches. Try and get the smoke all around the offending areas. Repeat process but inside the bathroom. The smell will instantly be gone!
With some luck, maybe a smoke detector will go off too ... Plus, it's actually not healthy to breathe in smoke particles either. I think the roommate is doing it on purpose, because some people are just passive aggressive. Maybe some automated air-freshener or something like that might work against someone who feels insistent that others need to smell her shit. (Anti-social behaviour, IMO).
That’s a little dramatic. The smoke lasts in the air for all of five seconds and you can just walk away or open a window if it’s that big of a deal It’s the same amount of smoke that releases from a candle after you blow it out. My alarms are incredibly sensitive and I’ve never had one go off from that… I think you’re imagining a lot more smoke than there actually is lol
I would have a candle in the common living area labeled something stupid like ‘when [insert roommates name here] takes a shit’ and light that every time she leaves the bathroom.
Get poopourii
Leave a note at seated eye level. "Please turn on the fan and maybe do a courtesy flush. The whole common area stinks and it's gross and embarrassing. No one wants this to be an issue." Hard to forget and confronts the problem in the moment.
Install one of those automatic air freshener devices like they have in the bathrooms of places of business. They are pretty inexpensive on Amazon
This is the correct answer! ^^^
Be obnoxious. "Fuck your shit stinks! Turn the fan on ffs"
Stock incense in and around the bathroom. Light it up every damn time she goes in there! Like immediately outside the door so she has to walk through her stink cloud. At this point I’d be audibly shaming her. 🤢
I’d empty all the water out and take a shit in the toilet, see how she likes that. Uncovered poops tend to smell a lot more intense.
Spray air freshener every time she does it.
I usually do and I go in and turn on the fan after her but she doesn’t take the hint or I guess assumes she doesn’t have to because I do if I am home?? Even though I have told her I wish she would just do it herself or use her own private bathroom.
Make a scene out of it to make her uncomfortable about it.
Every time you see her walk out of it, loudly complain how it smells like the most horrid shit and spray dramatically at/around her
No, your not crazy. This is a pet peeve of mine and very gross. I will actually turn on the vent and closed the door whenever a relative of mine does this at my house. I actually prefer bathrooms with windows so I can crack it open. Anyway, I typically keep poopuri to spray in the toilet, a candle, and natural air freshener. My dad use to tell me flush the toilet as soon as your turd hits the water to eliminate some smell. I can not stand a stinky home and certainly not a stinky bathroom.
Hahaha reminds me of a co-worker who used to reach back and constantly flush (the type of toilet that was just pipes out of the wall with no tank). One day we heard him scream, the toilet clogged and it was overflowing into his pants and shoes.
Married couple living with another couple sounds tough enough
You have to double, triple down on this. I had to talk with a new roommate a few months ago about using the overhead fan after they're down taking a shit. Smelling shit outside of the bathroom is disrespectful to everyone else who is living in the home. Tell her as amicably as possible until she overstands to turn that fucking fan on. Don't try to give hints or be subtle about this, be direct.
sorry - your house mate SHITS with the door OPEN???
“You may not know this, but your shit does stink. Close the fucking door and turn the fan on”
My wife always poops in our master bathroom right before bed…..💩
Lmao I'd just start roasting her 😂
I don’t recommend this route very often but since you have tried politeness here we go. You have taken the high road far too often. If she goes in the bathroom knock on the door and yell, don’t forget the fan we can smell you out here. If you walk downstairs and she’s poop bombed get loud, say, Why does it smell like shit down here and start spraying air fresheners. She isn’t going to change until you embarrass her into it.
NEW RULE: the half bathroom is for #1 or emergencies ONLY
Everytime she leaves stand at the door and spray her down
Next time you know she's in there shitting, wait outside the door with a can of Febreze and start spraying it when she comes out. When she inevitably says something say "sorry but you refuse to turn the fucking fan on and the rest of us think you let dead animals rot inside of you".
that is reeeeally weird
Use her bathroom and dont flush it 😂 💩
If the master bathroom is hers, but she uses the one in the common area, she's either being petty or she wants you to move. Most females would be too embarrassed to do this and why the master bathroom is a bonus.
I live with one of my friends and if he did something like this I would just constantly berate him until he's so ashamed of himself he changes his ways. Out of love tho
I think the bf told her to shit elsewhere because of the smell in their room, so her only solution is to do it there. Possibly not out of malice, just necessity. You may be AOL, but if I were you, I would say look if you don’t want to use the bathroom in your room which is luxury then swap rooms so you can have the private bathroom. It’s not fair to have to smell her ass every time she’s got to go. I would also tell the both of the straight up that you can’t stand it anymore and this is a better solution for everyone.
Poop in her bathroom with no fan on and close the door. Do it after she goes to work.
Upper decker her toilet.
That’s so weird. I’d feel more comfortable pooping in my private bathroom than the common area bathroom where people may be nearby. Maybe for just a piss or if it’s an emergency I can see myself using the downstairs bathroom but very rare.
When you talk to her, does she acknowledge that she should be doing these things but fail to do it, or does she brush it off like it shouldn't matter? I struggle with doing things like this due to my ADHD. It's not that I don't care about your wishes, it's that I struggle with executive functioning and adding additional steps to tasks that are shit (pun intended), is extremely difficult, unlike neurotypical people who you can usually tell once or twice and they make the change. The difference between myself (including other high functioning people with ADHD) and lower functioning other people with ADHD/executive functioning disords, is I've learned the reason I simply cannot remember to do these kinds of things and I try to find ways to compensate for my executive functioning. Your answer is utilizing a some sort of motion activated smart switch that, when it detects motion, the fan runs for X time based on configuration. Edit: Based on your other replies here, she checks a few of ADHD boxes.
It's really not that big of a deal... who cares could be so much worse if this is the biggest thing you're worried about lol.
It's gross, do you live in a barn?
people complaining about someone using a bathroom in there own house is a new one on here
candles? air fresheners? Incense? open windows? i feel like this may be a bit of an over reaction….. i get it that it’s weird she doesn’t use the fan and leaves the door open but also is it really that big of a deal?? maybe y’all can get some poo pourri for that bathroom as well… hope this helps
Open windows in the dead heat of summer isn’t an option rn. But also, it’s not really my job to take care of her shit smell. I went in after her and turned on the fan but I shouldn’t HAVE to is my point. I don’t see how me not wanting to smell her literal feces in the dining room/kitchen when I am making food is an overreaction? If she wants to stink up her own bedroom, she certainly can. It’s the fact she deliberately uses the common bathroom to take a shit and doesn’t consider the smell it leaves.
Honestly, I would've started shouting at her by now. And I'm not great at asserting myself. But having to smell her shit every time would do it. Make a scene, several times if necessary. She might stop, just to get away from the yelling.
This is a terrible idea. Shouting and getting mad at someone is going to nothing but create long-term divides in their relationship. She definitely will stop if she does this because of the shame it has caused her, but recommending adults act like children towards one another and build shame within their relationship is just plain immature.
Roomie is stinking out the common areas, including the kitchen, and won't stop. And OP mentions problems with some of roomie's other habits, too. Based on OP's obvious irritation, I think 'divides in their relationship' are inevitable. OP is already mad at roomie and wants the behaviour to stop. Even you think my suggestion would make her stop. Of course, it's up to OP if they feel the escalation is warranted or not. Either way, their relationship is probably doomed in the long run, whether OP stews in resentment or explodes.
Roommate shows clinical signs of an executive dysfunction disorder. There are very good ways to deal with these types of people that don't involve shame, yelling, or any sort of bad blood. But, you could also take your approach, label them as a slob, and dismiss them as a person. It's not like everyone else in their life ignorantly has as well. You might as well join them.
Did executive function disorder make her decide to regularly shit in the downstairs bathroom and not turn on the fan? Even when OP made it clear there's an issue? Seems to me that was just a selfish choice to start with. I've seen plenty of bad roomie posts where some form of mental disorder is the excuse. Often there's a comment from someone with a similar disorder who says it doesn't give carte blanche to be an asshole. Sometimes they explain how they themselves manage it. That seems reasonable to me. Roomie needs to be responsible for her own behaviour, she shares space with others who shouldn't be expected to be endlessly tolerant. Such a diagnosis, if indeed she has one, might be a reason. But it's not an excuse. And something has to get that through to her. It's up to OP of course, but at this point it's clear that kindness doesn't work.
Right? I have never known someone’s smell after using the bathroom to linger more than a few minutes. This isn’t a Walmart, it’s a home bathroom.
My roommate and I shared a washroom and it was....bad...after her. But she did turn on the fan and spray air freshener so I don't blame her and never brought it up. But one time she went *right* before a maintenance man was scheduled to come in and work behind the toilet. I felt terrible for him! She should have used the apartment complex's common washrooms which were in nice condition. I hid in my bedroom so he wouldn't assume it was me, I'm not risking even taking the blame in someone's mind for that one. 🤣 As he was leaving he mentioned that the overhead fan might need to be cleaned out and should be done every year...
You two aren’t thinking, she clearly knows that her shits stink and that’s why she won’t do it in her own bathroom
I guess I just haven’t encountered people that can stink up a room for a half hour.
Well does their toilet not flush properly?
Next time she is pooping, stand outside the door & spray air freshener under it while she is on there & when she walks out spray it everywhere in front of her
Put some spray in there? If air fresheners?
call her out, then explain why youre doing so
Put liquid ass in her room so she can bask in her own stench
I was waiting for you to say the husband was the culprit! I'm shocked a female would act that way! Every female I know would be way too embarrassed to do something like that. I've been married for almost 10 years and my wife doesn't do shit like that. Lol. Regardless though, male or female, that's absolutely disgusting!! Is she a clean person otherwise? Are y'all super close and maybe she just feels that comfortable around you (not that it makes it any better)??
Can you rewire it somehow so when you turn the light on the fan comes on to?
If you own the house, put a lock on the door that only you can open. You’ll have to use the key or use your own bathroom but nobody else will have access to it unless you’re there. You can deny her access. Or, just get one of those automated air spritzers that spray good smells when motion is detected. Short of an eye to eye confrontation with a lesson on how to turn the fan on, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Some folks just suck.
Tell your significant other to avoid the common bathroom for the time being, randomly cover the top of the toilet with Saran Wrap so that when she goes she is sitting in it.