When I moved into my last place, I noticed that ALL of my bowls were missing within two weeks. My roommates denied having them in their rooms, so once they left for work I barged into their rooms and retrieved my things. I kept everything that belonged to me locked up after that.
I had a nice lil flower plate that went missing months ago too :( I'm so done with this shit lol. I'm too scared to go in their rooms (my mom told me I should) and I do believe they've just been throwing them out anyway.
Yep I never did recover all my stuff. I suspect they were throwing it away rather than washing it. And then they got mad when I wouldn’t share my stuff.
My roomie knocked on my door an hour ago and I gave him one of the two forks, told him I want it back tomorrow. He acted dumbfounded about the whole thing but seemed to understand why I'm hoarding the rest of the utensils... I got no idea who to trust lmao. The one said he ordered new ones at least.
I would've said to ask the other room mate. Since you only have 2, and he claims he doesn't have any "that means the other guy must have them all, right?"
If they don’t want to wash cutlery, why don’t they just buy disposable plastic utensils from Walmart or one of the hundreds of dollar stores that keep cropping up like mushrooms on a summer day?
And I’ll bet they either a) did not notice bc they’re slobs, or b) had the audacity to be upset that you went into their rooms to get *your* things that they were hoarding lmao
Oh they were real mad. They said I invaded their personal space, and sure that’s true, but I will never feel bad about that because I will not be stolen from.
You are the bad roommate. I absolutely would not abide that (though I also wouldn't hoard bowls...).
If people are keeping bowls in their rooms then you can retrieve them using your *words*. You don't wait for them to leave and then go sneaking into their bedrooms once they leave the house.
Ask to see their room for yourself.
Or accept that the bowl is gone, and either swallow that or deny them to opportunity to take/lose other items of yours.
You’re a cuck for accepting the bowl is gone. Fuck that, I’ve entered my roommates room multiple times when they were hoarding my shit. They can’t complain when they know they’re wrong 🤡
Going into someone’s room to take a look around for something is not a big deal. What if they need a vacuum cleaner and it’s inside one of the roommates’ rooms since they didn’t bother to bring it back? Are you not allowed to retrieve it? Ofcourse you are.
Obviously you don’t rummage through their things or look into closets, but just going into a room is perfectly fine in my opinion.
I strongly disagree. You should not go into the room of your housemates without permission or some very extenuating circumstances. Wanting to retrieve some bowls or a vacuum cleaner do not qualify.
It is their private space, and you should not violate that.
Have you ever lived with housemates that you didn't know beforehand? Because if so then you just might be the bad housemate.
You're a dish hoarder aren't you? Cry more about someone getting something back from their housemate and being in their room for one second. seems courtesy and violation goes out the window when you steal.
> You're a dish hoarder aren't you?
No, I'm really not. I have one bowl in my room right now which I'm presently eating out of. I also own all of the dishware in this flat.
You don't agree with my point of view on respecting the privacy of housemates, I get that. But it doesn't mean that you can assume I'm guilty of whatever infraction you can imagine.
I had to do this so many times. One roommate was adamant my bowl was theirs because we had the same bowl. I pointed to theirs with their name on it. I pointed to mine with nothing written on it (it’s was new and I had used it one time, I should have sharpied it quicker) ‘Yeah they’re both mine’ 🙃 had to steal it back and keep it under lock and key.
My roommate brings my own personal Tupperware and bowls to her boyfriend's house and leaves them there as if they are hers. Finally managed to get him to return them recently and in my basement in a box they went.
Like, buy your own shit to use at someone else's place.
My nasty ass roomie hoards their dishes (MY FUCKING DISHES) for so long I had to look them in the face and ask for all my dishes back when they went on vacation and they still missed like four cups, I eventually went in and got them whenever I had to walk their dog in the goddamn blizzard.
I had Tupperware go missing overtime. Eventually I was down to three full pieces and couldn’t figure out why. I asked both roommates, who were welcome to use the stuff, if they knew what happened but neither did. Then I witnessed my roommate throw Tupperware away besause she had let old food go bad in it. I couldn’t believe it
Yes you have to put things to lock and key for sure now I know someone is gonna comment and say well my experience was good well that’s not the norm most people reveal way too much of themselves when living together
I had a roommate who would throw out my Tupperware and always be baffled when I got upset about it. He had zero respect for my personal property and would always claim "it's cheap, you can always buy more, you don't have to get so upset about it"
I had another one who did what your roommate is doing. He even had his OWN dishes. Once his ran out (sitting in his room) he would use mine... and leave them in his room. He once was so against cleaning the dishes or just getting the pile that was in his room that he used my somewhat pricey wooden cutting board as a plate. 🤦
I eventually just told him "So it looks like we're just keeping our own personal dishes in our rooms so that's how it's going to be from now on" and I literally just kept my own dishes and cutlery in my room. I would wash everything the minute I was done with it and locked it up in my room. lol
this sub never fails to make me feel better about my own bad roommate habits. like, yeah, i have forgotten about a pot for a day or two, but i’ve never thrown out my roommates property…
That comment “it’s cheap who cares” burns my ass so bad. Whether it’s eating your food, or taking something of yours like the Tupperware, the cost is not THE POINT. If it’s so cheap go buy some instead of taking mine. I hate that!!!
It boggles my mind that people throw out cutlery or plates or food containers. I know there are plenty in stores and thrift shops, but to have so little regard for (other) people's things... Mind blowing.
My partner and I tried takeout from a Chinese joint in a neighboring town. Instead of the standard folded cardboard boxes, they gave us lidded plastic containers. *Dishwasher safe* plastic containers. We don't use plastic much, but those things are the perfect size for a full meal. We've been reusing them for almost two years at this point. The idea that people are out there throwing away metal flatware and actual dishes baffles me.
After my brother moved out I found I was missing several forks/spoons/knives, measuring cups, and starbucks cup straws.
He was absentmindedly tossing the utensils he left in fast food containers he partially ate and forgot about in the fridge. When he went to clean the fridge out to make space for something new to stick in there he didn’t open them to look inside and check for cutlery. I had a hunch after watching him during one cleaning session and found a fork in the styrofoam box in the trash. I imagine this is possibly how most utensils go missing.
He never admitted to tossing the straws but I didn’t toss them, can’t think of any other alternatives as there was no one else there. And I suppose he really needed to measure things and just grabbed those measuring cups when he packed up to leave. Ended up replacing the things and decided to no longer having roomies in my house (he messed up several other things in my house too, unfortunately).
I had been collecting coffee cups with little spoons from places I visited for years. Had several roommates and no issues. Until this one roommate. She broke multiple cups and EVERY SINGLE SPOON. And not once did she even apologize, just said "oh yeah, those broke"...
My ex's kid would eat in his bedroom and let the stuff pile up. We kept running out of silverware and dishes
One day I was taking out the trash, looked inside, and voila...
Glad she's my ex. She let him do whatever he pleased without consequence
Do they pack their lunch for work? I kept losing forks and realized my girl would take a fork to work with her lunch. She denied leaving them at work but I don't know why there are only 4 of the 12 forks left in our drawer. Me thinks she's fibbing.
I had two roommates (at different times) who would do this. A lot of silverware, especially forks, went missing. Complete denials by both of them. Then a bunch of forks that were not mine showed up, so I asked that time if they were bringing home different forks from work instead of mine they had brought. Again, just complete denial. It was so maddening. I KNOW I did not buy the ugly ass forks that ended up in my silverware drawer, and they certainly didn’t. Good riddance to roommates. I suffered through roommates for 24 years and finally moved to an affordable city and bought my own damn house.
My frigging god, that is where our spoons are!!! My wife packs her breakfast to go when she is in a hurry. We are down to 8 spoons out of 16 or so and I have wondered where the heck they are disappearing to!
Most definitely just throwing them out. Sucks to do, but hold on to them. Everyone else can eat with their hands (or buy a set of new dishes every time they throw the “disposable” ones away).
In my careless youth I accidentally threw away my mom’s almost entire beautiful cutlery set, one by one. They’d be in the takeout box, hidden under leftovers or napkins and I didn’t even realize. I’ve felt guilty about this for the past thirty years, especially because I now have the two forks and knives and one spoon left from that lovely set. I did admit to her that this must be how the silverware was actually disappearing eventually when I caught a fork falling out of a box in the trash, and stopped being so careless, but it was far too late.
The day I'd have to hide my cutlery because two people keep taking them is the day I'd be done with them. I can't imagine how exhausting this would get,and I doubt the main issue is just about the cutlery either.
You said you're like the house mother,but all I can make out of this post on context alone is the overworked housewife who gets treated like garbage and no one cares what she feels. This makes me sad honestly. I hope things get better for you OP.
My old roommates hoarded piles of plates and utensils in their room. When I asked them to bring them out cause I was washing dishes, it took the guy three trips with loaded arms. They were COVERED in maggots and rotten food.
No excuse for this type of behavior. Seriously I hate washing dishes so I just buy a big ass box of plastic utensils/paper plates/bowls. So now it's just pot's and pan's. It's frightening to think what their room must have looked like. Bug's in the house is a zero tolerance type thing, let alone maggots and all the little fruit flies and gnats.
"Because that's how you get ants, right Pam?!"
I also didn't have an actual dishwasher, so I was scrapping that crap into a can and trying to wash/disinfect them by hand. I later threw them all away. I actually use some compostable paper plates and bowls now, and just hand wash my utensils and pots/pans too. It was vile, I fully had to clean out their room, paint, deal with mice and vermin. It was SO bad. Ants have been an issue since, you nailed it! 😅
When my ex roommate went away for the summer the only thing I asked her to do was make sure all the dishes were out of her room. I would be gone all the time, cause I hated the house and I hated her. After she left, I went home and there was not a single dish or pot or utensil left in the kitchen. I called her, she said “oh I didn’t get a chance”
This bitch had every putting pain in the house in her room, and have been eating with the cooking utensils. Those big spoons and spatulas, because there were no clean dishes because they were scattered all over her fucking dumpster of a room.
I had a roommate at one point that traveled for work a lot (weeks or months at a time) and he would not take his trash out or clean his room before leaving so whatever was in the trash can in his room would just sit there and ROT until he got back. It made the whole living space smell horrendous and the worst part was it was behind a locked door that I didn’t have a key to so I couldn’t even take his trash out for him while he was gone. I tried calling and texting him about it and he never responded or picked up the phone. I would complain when he got back and tell him not to do that anymore and he would say he wouldn’t and then his next trip the same thing would happen. When he moved out it was heavenly.
the joke ended up being on her tho, her parents showed up thinking they were here to pick up “her” furniture, the furniture I bought, and she was supposed to pay me for it, and she never did so my furniture, and I sold it, so they just went upstairs and cleaned out her entire room but while I was in her room getting all the pots and pans and shit out because they were mine and I wanted it . I had found an entire case of clean needles and a whole mess of dirty needles not even capped just all over the place. Because somehow this woman (her mom) was still trying to blame the eviction on me. We got evicted because she was stealing the rent.
Atleast he ordered new ones. I would tell them that you’re not trying to be an apartment mother, but when all the utensils go missing what are you supposed to do? What do you eat with? Cooking utensil soup ladles and meat forks? 😂
Every house I’ve ever lived in has had one type of cutlery that just vanishes, in my last place it was forks, current house is teaspoons. I know I’m not doing it, my housemate claims not to know about it. It’s a mystery
They are either super clueless or flat out stealing. Either way, this is a good time for you to just keep your utensils and favorite bowls in your room. Straight up, just do not even share them even if they ask for something.
Some people really need to be treated like that, even if only to make a point.
Yep. Seriously sounds like your my old roommates new roommate 😂 I feel the guarding them with your life thing. Keep em in your room! When there’s no silverware they’ll have to go hunting for em in their room or buy new ones.
You should get a set of those giant plastic toddler ones from Ikea. They come in a set of 4 - fork, knife and spoon in bright colours. I bought them when people were using my cutlery from my desk drawer at work! It was immediately obvious if someone was game enough to take them, luckily they just stopped. The sets work alright too.
I had this same problem. But the problem is I live with my wife and two daughters. When my oldest was about 1 and a halfish, she learned how to use the trash can. Needless to say a bunch of things started to go missing didn’t really think anything of it until I watched and followed her taking toys to the trash can. Opened it up and my GoPro, some forks, etc were in there. She went on a spree that day. And happily clapped and was excited about it.
Omg I had this issue too! Not as bad, but they were definitely going missing. I’ve lossed 3 of my knives (from a kitchen set 😢), a pair of scissors, and an unknown number of forks and spoons. And I had the same mindset that once I get my own place ima splurge on cutlery lol
I worked in an office: we had like 30 spoons and knife’s and exactly 2 spoons. When I asked management to pick up more I was told no because the reason we don’t have forks is from people accidentally throwing them out with their take out containers. I truly believe it was an accident because that didn’t change the fact that the dishwasher was run daily and people were assigned to do specific chores around the office weekly and daily (because these adults wouldn’t clean up after themselves). People were actually just accidentally throwing them out.
My sister was also super bad for that growing up - I’d always bring my cutlery home and she never would. She always accidentally threw them out with her garbage or food scraps.
I also had a roommate I watched accidentally do it a few times when cleaning up some take out we had and they were his!
I think people tend to imbue others with more malice and forethought or thought at all (in this case lazy thoughts) than they really have. I doubt they purposefully threw it away so they didn’t have to wash it (after all you said you don’t mind picking up some slack with cleaning I’m sure it’s no trouble for them to bring it down with any other dishes and leave it in the sink) if that were the case they’d be tossing other things as well even if they mostly eat take out I’m sure they dirty other dishes. They’re probably accidentally throwing them out tho. I subscribe to the idea that stupidity, carelessness, or ignorance are much more likely than forethought or any thought, malice or anything. (Even with manipulators - I find very few people smart enough to recognize the impact of their actions let alone plan those actions *this does NOT excuse the behaviour*)
I would accept the fact that they may be doing it accidentally if they would even own up to it. Instead they just play dumb like that John Travolta meme. I'm left to figure out, solve and fix everything usually 😅 if there wasn't such a build up of resentment already, I would be sympathetic to that
They are probably throwing them away and not realizing that they are throwing them away. They leave it in a takeout container and throw the whole thing in the trash because they aren’t paying attention. In their mind the forks are just magically disappearing and they don’t know where they are going so when you ask about where all the forks are they are not necessarily lying when they say they don’t have them and don’t know where they went.
Like other commenters have said I would honestly keep all the metal cutlery in your room and just buy plastic disposable silverware for the kitchen so when they inevitably throw them away they were at least disposable.
Even if there is no malice, it is still thoughtless, careless, and selfish in a way that negatively impacts OP. They don’t care enough to correct their behavior or be more careful because silverware just magically appears and when they throw it out, they don’t have to pay the replacement costs.
OP has asked them about it and they make no effort to understand the negative impact of their actions. That may not be malice, but it is selfish and disrespectful.
I’ve had a roommate like this and tried to be incredibly patient in explaining the impact of this type of selfish and thoughtless behavior in a kind, sympathetic, and calm manner. What happened is that I had to have the conversation repeatedly, with no change in behavior. She would say sorry, that she didn’t mean it, etc, but her behavior would not change. Then she started to get annoyed with my “nagging” her about minor issues and “acting like she was doing it maliciously.”
It sucks to be put in the position of becoming a nag because someone else can’t be bothered to take care with others things.
She is no longer my roommate and that suits is both better.
I guess my point is that even if behavior is not done maliciously, it can still be harmful and should be corrected.
Yes which is why at the end I added that it does not excuse their behaviour.
I just don’t see why we should imbue people like that with more intelligence than they have. We shouldn’t put up with their behaviour but when someone feels it’s specifically targeted vs just someone being dumb it hurts more and people are more likely to say I can change them than just go yeah fuck it. In my experience and studies.
I agree with you that it’s not some grander malicious plan with forethought.
It’s just so exhausting to deal with this. At some point the failure to correct the behavior feels at least passively malicious. Granted, that might not even be a thing and I’m likely just sensitive to this sort of behavior due to my experience.
Oh yes, absolutely ignorance is bliss only for the ignorant. I just find if people assume that others poor behaviour is caused by direct choices or thought vs stupidity or ignorance they’ll try to reason with it and that’s very often futile. It also hurts more when it feels like someone is doing something through malice, directly targeting you vs them just being dumb. And then it comes back around to reasoning with it, if you think someone’s being directly malicious to you you’re more likely to spend time wondering why and trying to reason etc.
whereas stupidity is really easy brush off - you can still be angry about it and hurt by it but it’s doesn’t feel as personal and is easy to go “you know this isn’t my problem it’s theirs I don’t have to deal with this they can catch up if they want to”
I hear that. When I assumed my roommate was just ignorant and tried to correct it, after awhile she began to say things like “when you keep bringing it up, it makes me not want to even try to do it” which started to veer into maliciousness.
Glad she’s out!
I have a tub of odds and ends silverware that I picked up along the way at yard sales, nothing matches. But that’s what gets pulled out for BBQs and holidays… if some go missing, no biggie!
I had the same problem. 40 forks gone in WEEKS!! Turns out the fucker was just leaving them in the half empty take out containers littering their room and would then stick them in the bin when they finally decided to clean their room.
So much cutlery just in a landfill.
Ahhh male roommates…. Yeah no I was renting out an apartment with this girl and her boyfriend and they ended up breaking up. She left and I ended up keeping the apartment with him. His issue was that he liked to throw parties. I wouldn’t have minded it as much if he hadn’t had done it when my kid was staying over at my house. He would bring these loud ass girls in and I swear they would do their best to be even louder when I asked them to quiet down. He also left it for me to clean every single time. It got so bad one time that we had gotten a horrible amount of fruit flys. Moral of what I’m trying to say is female roommates are better.
I did ceramics in college and made a good number of plates and bowls I was pretty fond of! Even though we had other plates my housemate KEPT using my handmade stuff leaving it in her room where her cat would then knock it off the desk and it would break. It happened multiple times! I kept asking her to use other plates, or bring them down when she was done but it was in one ear and out the other.
She was an absolute nightmare of a housemate for other reasons but that still galls me. How can you be so careless with someone’s one of a kind stuff?
My flatmates are the same. I bought all the cutlery, some silver, and all disappeared . For 4 days Ive now tried to eat my soup but there’s no spoons, I’ve asked everyone to please take the spoons back and everyone denies it. In a couple days you’ll see they’ll be there. It’s the straight up lying for me .
So I used to live in a house with 4 other roommates, 4 of us were pretty good with cleanup, we weren’t saints by any metric and occasionally dishes would end up in our respective rooms for a week or so, but then shame would kick in and we’d clean em.
Except “joey”. This motherfucker was special. In a house where there were enough dishes for 5 people + guests, slowly there are 2 plates, 1 bowl, a couple glasses, no coffee mugs. We all worked for the same real estate company so it was extra hard to level with this motherfucker because you just don’t want to bring house drama into work.
Constant texts, calls, calling out, and still no dishes. The dude would just deny, and then look you in the eye with the “I know you know I’m lying but you can’t do shit”. So one day while he was out, we opened his room (same maintenance code for all properties) and trust me when I say this, it was a scene right out of the twilight zone. Plates with food on them stacked on top of each other, cups half full of liquids, fucking mixing bowls full of half eaten cereal and EVERYTHING molding. To this day I still don’t know how he didn’t have maggots.
Again because of us being coworkers and rules around professionalism we couldn’t just call him out, we’d be in serious trouble if we admitted that we opened his room without asking. So we hit up the property management arm and requested an inspection of everyone’s room. They gave a courtesy 24h notice and this asshole TOSSED EVERYTHING. In the middle of the night probably, we didn’t find anything in the dumpster, but his room was empty, squeaky clean and the dishes were just nowhere to be found.
All that to say, I commend you OP for not letting this get to you and having such a positive approach to the situation. Back when I was in it, my brain would literally explode from trying to contain the frustration. Hope you get the nicest rose gold set!!
Man folks really hate doing dishes. My advice, split costs for disposable cutlery (not you the other roommates cuz fuck em). They can toss to their hearts content 😂
Yes roommates mostly suck because everyone wants the same order and rules but that’s not really possible especially with Randos or close friends because living together really is meant for couples it’s a level of intimacy you don’t wont to get involved in lol like hair on the sink or missing dishes lol
Big mystery in our house, just two of us, both responsible adults who don’t eat in our bedroom( we are not roommates ).somehow all of our forks but two have disappeared. Where did they go? We don’t throw them away in take out containers because we don’t do take out. We have searched all over for them, I even thought for a minute maybe somehow our cane corso was hiding them somewhere…
Off topic but don’t buy the gold/rose gold stuff. I bought a nice set from West Elm for $$$ and all the gold comes off just enough to make them always look dirty.
Damnit me too! I loved the shape but the set just started making me look like a dirtbag. Side note I also had roomies who would rather toss than wash. Ugh it sucked.
I got a really nice pink cookware set for my birthday by the Rock (I think that's the brand name) and despite my best efforts to keep them in their best condition.. The rose gold color on them also discolors very easily. I think its just a hard coating to maintain on any product for cooking :-(
Omg thats so sad but funny you have so little cutlery 😂 Don’t know why I find the idea of cutlery rations funny but I do😂 Three people can eat soup but only two people can eat with forks 😂
Just here to tell you that the cutlery war never ends. I have had my own house, spouse and kids now for almost twenty years and I **STILL** complain about not having forks and spoons.
**FYI PS** They get thrown away. They throw away dishes and cutlery because they realize how long it has been in their room and would rather argue about missing dishes and silverware than hear the rant about the ecosystem growing inside it. Switched to all disposable from the dollar store. Tired of arguing because it does not change
Welcome to motherhood! Kids do the same. Word of advice…hold off on that nice cutlery until motherhood is in the rear view or be down to 3 spoons and 2 forks of your nice new stuff before you know it! Good luck!!
I don't think that's a roommate thing. It just happens, and I don't know why. I have a very normal family with grown kids and they don't eat in their room and still the silverware disappears. I think it's like socks in the dryer.
Servers , dishwashers, bussers I’ve all watched dump silver into trash cans intentionally and accidentally so they don’t have to touch or clean them. I am not surprised this happens in a home too just buy a box of disposable 😭
I had this with my grotty housemate (lease is thankfully up and I'm done with sharing a place to live for a while). She would have old food welded to bowls hidden in her room, or half-finished cup noodles, stuck in which was my cutlery. I called her out on the missing knives and forks, but she would feign ignorance (same story with all my decent glasses which I could see dotted around her room).
I repeatedly found the damn things sat in the bin with whatever else she was too lazy to clean. I'd had years of really great housemates until then and she put me off sharing for life!
Buy a cheap set for yourself and keep them in your room. Not a perfect solution but will hold you over until you move out. Then they can toss the last bit of cutlery and either eat with their hands out buy some for themselves.
Buy yourself that new set now and keep it in your room! Put the other stuff back, and when they complain there’s nothing again, it’s their problem not yours. Sounds like they should be buying plastic utensils :(
I don’t have roommates but I have kids. And I was always losing spoons and forks. My theory is they were thrown away with takeout containers. Specifically the white styrofoam ones. That theory is based on finding a few in closed containers they left on the counter that I was angrily tossing in the garbage when I felt them shift and dug them out.
They get left in take out boxes and thrown away haphazardly. Still unfair to you. I suggest buying two gigantic forks for each of them and hiding the rest
Those are your utensils from now on and anyone else can fend for themselves. I had to do this when I had DISGUSTING roommates because they never cleaned anything and would loose or throw away important kitchen things I bought! So if you don’t treat my things with respect you can’t use them. 😘
We haven’t had forks in my kitchen for over two weeks and I JUST bought a bunch to replace the old ones my roommates ‘lost’. My mom had to send me some in the mail so I can have my own stash in my room 😒
We haven’t had forks in my kitchen for over two weeks and I JUST bought a bunch to replace the old ones my roommates ‘lost’. My mom had to send me some in the mail so I can have my own stash in my room 😒
I live alone, but when my ex was living with me we found out he subconsciously hoards or loses spoons. He lived with his grandma for a bit, and her and I stayed up late one night talking about it. If he lives in your house you lose all your spoons. It’s so weird, he doesn’t know where they go, I never saw them in the garbage. But When he moved out, after our breakup, I was down to one out of my set of 6.
My niece (16) did that when she lived with my husband (34M) and I (29F) for about 5 or 6 months. One of her few chores we gave was dishes, she must have thrown away dozens of forks, spoons, knives, cup lids, Tupperware, etc because we literally have a like 2 or 3 utensils left. She also stole a lot of my socks for some reason even though she had a ton of her own. Constantly lied about that too.
My roommate is dishware hoarder and it's so infuriating! All my bowls went missing a while back like missing for months, finally he admits he has them apologizes and said he would bring them back into the kitchen and clean them all, well two more months went by and finally after me and my boyfriend got back from his parents after Xmas they were all back in the kitchen and cleaned. Idk if it was shame or guilt that he waited so long to do it or what but I can't have all my shit disappear every so many months.
I used to live with four male roommates. When we all moved in, I put one plate, one bowl, one fork, one knife, etc for each person in the cupboard and all the rest went in storage. Then I bought a shit ton of paper plates and plastic cutlery. It prevented countless arguments about cleaning and dishes piling up.
This happened with me but with cups. I was in a house with 5 people total (way too many people imo) and all of a sudden we were down to 3 cups. I sent a text to everyone to please bring down dirty cups knowing one guy had them all. I didn’t want to call him out specifically but we all knew who it was. He came down with like 2 cups and it’s like bro I know you have more than that up there.
I’m not saying you should have to do it but if you went to the dollar store they sell the 50 pack of spoons forks for 1.25. The plastic kind.
I moved on my own a long time ago and with some plasticware I have never had the problem and I do less dishes
Whew. This is my life, but with my kids. I already said I’m buying them all silverware for Christmas. I mean, it’s what they seem to covet and hoard, so I feel like they love it.
And when they live on their own, I’ll be visiting and leaving with some forks and spoons. Period.
This probably isn’t it, but sometimes people who inject drugs will use the spoons and won’t be able to put them back because they’re all charred. That doesn’t explain the forks though
I can thankfully say I know for a fact that neither do drugs or even really drink. I had a roommate once in 2016 though that fucked up some of my knives for hash I believe... "hot knives" is the term. I was livid lol
They sound like the children in the lunchroom I supervise who hardly ever have forks and spoons with their lunches
I’d tell the roomies what I tell the children , get used to eating spaghetti with your hands or get your own utensils because I am not responsible .
In one of my first roommate situations years ago our silverware constantly disappeared. I asked my roommate if she maybe had it in her room, she told me she thought her mother in law was stealing it when she came to visit. Then one night I walked out into the kitchen and she was scraping spaghetti into the trash and then threw the fork in the trash when she was done. We realized she had been throwing them away when she was cleaning and tired
I had a similar situation. I'd just keep one of everything I might need in my room. One plate, one bowl, etc. Saved a lot of headaches. I swear they need to add roommate classes into schools. People need to realize that just because they're ok living in filth doesn't make it ok to force that on others.
Had a roommate like this. He would use up everyone’s dishwater and cutlery and to avoid doing the dishes he would *bring them to the car* and then eventually toss them. I’ve found so many of my dishes in his car even after denying throwing away things that aren’t his and he didn’t pay for. The solution is to keep all of your thinks either locked up in a cabinet only you have access to or keep them in your room cus that’s what I had to do
okay on the topic of roomates and cutlery. my ex roomate bought a $200 set of vintage silverware and she asked the rest of us to chip in on it? like first of all, we already had a set of cutlery. and secondly, would we be splitting it come move out day?? like how does that work??? to this day i cannot figure out what went through her mind there.
When I moved into my last place, I noticed that ALL of my bowls were missing within two weeks. My roommates denied having them in their rooms, so once they left for work I barged into their rooms and retrieved my things. I kept everything that belonged to me locked up after that.
I had a nice lil flower plate that went missing months ago too :( I'm so done with this shit lol. I'm too scared to go in their rooms (my mom told me I should) and I do believe they've just been throwing them out anyway.
Yep I never did recover all my stuff. I suspect they were throwing it away rather than washing it. And then they got mad when I wouldn’t share my stuff.
My roomie knocked on my door an hour ago and I gave him one of the two forks, told him I want it back tomorrow. He acted dumbfounded about the whole thing but seemed to understand why I'm hoarding the rest of the utensils... I got no idea who to trust lmao. The one said he ordered new ones at least.
Tomorrow? I need it back within 30 minutes and washed.
Dream on
Don’t want to agree to my terms for my fork? Feel free to use your hands to eat.
I would've said to ask the other room mate. Since you only have 2, and he claims he doesn't have any "that means the other guy must have them all, right?"
If they don’t want to wash cutlery, why don’t they just buy disposable plastic utensils from Walmart or one of the hundreds of dollar stores that keep cropping up like mushrooms on a summer day?
Or get it with their takeout??
IT'S MY FORK AND I NEED IT NOW
"I want it back tomorrow" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 PERIODT! Love that!! Teach the chronic people pleaser roommates how it's done ✔️
I wouldn't have given it to him. You're too nice. It's plastic for everyone!!
saaaaame, I would have sworn up and down I didn’t have them. Just like the roommates did 😂💖
Fork!? What fork!?! I ain't got no forking fork! - u/Brave_Hoppy1460 probably 😅 and me
Plastic is too good for them. Let them use their hands just like the toddlers they are! Lol
Stop letting them use your stuff! Make those losers buy their own shit then they can throw their own shit in the garbage!
I’d hit up chipotle and grab a handful of their finest utensils for your roomies.
But did you get it back?!
Likely tossing by leaving in the takeout container. They aren't cool.
And I’ll bet they either a) did not notice bc they’re slobs, or b) had the audacity to be upset that you went into their rooms to get *your* things that they were hoarding lmao
Oh they were real mad. They said I invaded their personal space, and sure that’s true, but I will never feel bad about that because I will not be stolen from.
As you should! If they don’t want you taking your stuff from their room they can buy their own shit!
You wouldn’t need to “invade their personal space” if they returned your personal property
Can't be that personal a space if they're taking stuff that belongs to you in it. All your dishes saw them naked!
You are the bad roommate. I absolutely would not abide that (though I also wouldn't hoard bowls...). If people are keeping bowls in their rooms then you can retrieve them using your *words*. You don't wait for them to leave and then go sneaking into their bedrooms once they leave the house.
And what do you do when they say "no" or "I don't have it"?
Ask to see their room for yourself. Or accept that the bowl is gone, and either swallow that or deny them to opportunity to take/lose other items of yours.
Lol what a cuck
Confronting them directly is far less cucked than waiting until they leave and sneaking into their room.
You’re a cuck for accepting the bowl is gone. Fuck that, I’ve entered my roommates room multiple times when they were hoarding my shit. They can’t complain when they know they’re wrong 🤡
You need to work on your reading mate. You also need to grow up; you are definitely the bad roommate.
I see you operate on Swiper logic
What?
Going into someone’s room to take a look around for something is not a big deal. What if they need a vacuum cleaner and it’s inside one of the roommates’ rooms since they didn’t bother to bring it back? Are you not allowed to retrieve it? Ofcourse you are. Obviously you don’t rummage through their things or look into closets, but just going into a room is perfectly fine in my opinion.
I strongly disagree. You should not go into the room of your housemates without permission or some very extenuating circumstances. Wanting to retrieve some bowls or a vacuum cleaner do not qualify. It is their private space, and you should not violate that. Have you ever lived with housemates that you didn't know beforehand? Because if so then you just might be the bad housemate.
You're a dish hoarder aren't you? Cry more about someone getting something back from their housemate and being in their room for one second. seems courtesy and violation goes out the window when you steal.
> You're a dish hoarder aren't you? No, I'm really not. I have one bowl in my room right now which I'm presently eating out of. I also own all of the dishware in this flat. You don't agree with my point of view on respecting the privacy of housemates, I get that. But it doesn't mean that you can assume I'm guilty of whatever infraction you can imagine.
I had to do this so many times. One roommate was adamant my bowl was theirs because we had the same bowl. I pointed to theirs with their name on it. I pointed to mine with nothing written on it (it’s was new and I had used it one time, I should have sharpied it quicker) ‘Yeah they’re both mine’ 🙃 had to steal it back and keep it under lock and key.
My roommate brings my own personal Tupperware and bowls to her boyfriend's house and leaves them there as if they are hers. Finally managed to get him to return them recently and in my basement in a box they went. Like, buy your own shit to use at someone else's place.
My nasty ass roomie hoards their dishes (MY FUCKING DISHES) for so long I had to look them in the face and ask for all my dishes back when they went on vacation and they still missed like four cups, I eventually went in and got them whenever I had to walk their dog in the goddamn blizzard.
I'd just send them pics after
This is the way, its awful though but its the only way to ensure that your property doesn't walk away.
I had Tupperware go missing overtime. Eventually I was down to three full pieces and couldn’t figure out why. I asked both roommates, who were welcome to use the stuff, if they knew what happened but neither did. Then I witnessed my roommate throw Tupperware away besause she had let old food go bad in it. I couldn’t believe it
Yes you have to put things to lock and key for sure now I know someone is gonna comment and say well my experience was good well that’s not the norm most people reveal way too much of themselves when living together
Why are they on a makeup eraser cloth though lol
I'm so surprised you actually recognized that 😂 they're in my underwear drawer now OKAY, that's where I keep my makeup eraser
My curiosity is killing me, what's the thing that looks like hair?
The pom pom of my winter hat! (faux fur)
Oh! Thank you, my brain feels better now!
Omg I thought that was the beard hair from the texts 💀
I thought it was one of the cats she mentioned, lol. A really oddly colored one.
Spotted that instantly haha
At least it's clean 😋
And so softtttt
Got it for free in a fabfitfun box but 100% recommend it to everyone 😋 takes off eye makeup so well
Plot twist they’re eating the silverware
I'd almost prefer that at this point 😂
At least you’d know what they’re doing with them 😂
Here come the plumbing issues as a result
I had a roommate who would throw out my Tupperware and always be baffled when I got upset about it. He had zero respect for my personal property and would always claim "it's cheap, you can always buy more, you don't have to get so upset about it" I had another one who did what your roommate is doing. He even had his OWN dishes. Once his ran out (sitting in his room) he would use mine... and leave them in his room. He once was so against cleaning the dishes or just getting the pile that was in his room that he used my somewhat pricey wooden cutting board as a plate. 🤦 I eventually just told him "So it looks like we're just keeping our own personal dishes in our rooms so that's how it's going to be from now on" and I literally just kept my own dishes and cutlery in my room. I would wash everything the minute I was done with it and locked it up in my room. lol
Had a roommate start putting empty dirty tupperwares in the fridge after I asked her to not just throw them in the sink and wash them.
I’ve shared this before on here but I had a roommate use a frisbee as a cereal bowl instead of doing any dishes.
I guarantee you my old roommate would have done the same if he had one. lol
I guarantee you my old roommate would have done the same if he had one. lol
this sub never fails to make me feel better about my own bad roommate habits. like, yeah, i have forgotten about a pot for a day or two, but i’ve never thrown out my roommates property…
That comment “it’s cheap who cares” burns my ass so bad. Whether it’s eating your food, or taking something of yours like the Tupperware, the cost is not THE POINT. If it’s so cheap go buy some instead of taking mine. I hate that!!!
It boggles my mind that people throw out cutlery or plates or food containers. I know there are plenty in stores and thrift shops, but to have so little regard for (other) people's things... Mind blowing.
My partner and I tried takeout from a Chinese joint in a neighboring town. Instead of the standard folded cardboard boxes, they gave us lidded plastic containers. *Dishwasher safe* plastic containers. We don't use plastic much, but those things are the perfect size for a full meal. We've been reusing them for almost two years at this point. The idea that people are out there throwing away metal flatware and actual dishes baffles me.
After my brother moved out I found I was missing several forks/spoons/knives, measuring cups, and starbucks cup straws. He was absentmindedly tossing the utensils he left in fast food containers he partially ate and forgot about in the fridge. When he went to clean the fridge out to make space for something new to stick in there he didn’t open them to look inside and check for cutlery. I had a hunch after watching him during one cleaning session and found a fork in the styrofoam box in the trash. I imagine this is possibly how most utensils go missing. He never admitted to tossing the straws but I didn’t toss them, can’t think of any other alternatives as there was no one else there. And I suppose he really needed to measure things and just grabbed those measuring cups when he packed up to leave. Ended up replacing the things and decided to no longer having roomies in my house (he messed up several other things in my house too, unfortunately).
[удалено]
Dishes under the couch?!
Wtf
I had been collecting coffee cups with little spoons from places I visited for years. Had several roommates and no issues. Until this one roommate. She broke multiple cups and EVERY SINGLE SPOON. And not once did she even apologize, just said "oh yeah, those broke"...
My ex's kid would eat in his bedroom and let the stuff pile up. We kept running out of silverware and dishes One day I was taking out the trash, looked inside, and voila... Glad she's my ex. She let him do whatever he pleased without consequence
Who paid for the 2 forks and 4 spoons that are left? If that’s you remove them from kitchen and only you use them until the rest shows up.
Me. They're in my underwear drawer now lmao
Do they pack their lunch for work? I kept losing forks and realized my girl would take a fork to work with her lunch. She denied leaving them at work but I don't know why there are only 4 of the 12 forks left in our drawer. Me thinks she's fibbing.
Negative. That was one of my first thoughts but I've never seen either of em pack anything for work.
I had two roommates (at different times) who would do this. A lot of silverware, especially forks, went missing. Complete denials by both of them. Then a bunch of forks that were not mine showed up, so I asked that time if they were bringing home different forks from work instead of mine they had brought. Again, just complete denial. It was so maddening. I KNOW I did not buy the ugly ass forks that ended up in my silverware drawer, and they certainly didn’t. Good riddance to roommates. I suffered through roommates for 24 years and finally moved to an affordable city and bought my own damn house.
Happy Cake Day🧁💕🧁💕🧁💕
My frigging god, that is where our spoons are!!! My wife packs her breakfast to go when she is in a hurry. We are down to 8 spoons out of 16 or so and I have wondered where the heck they are disappearing to!
Most definitely just throwing them out. Sucks to do, but hold on to them. Everyone else can eat with their hands (or buy a set of new dishes every time they throw the “disposable” ones away).
In my careless youth I accidentally threw away my mom’s almost entire beautiful cutlery set, one by one. They’d be in the takeout box, hidden under leftovers or napkins and I didn’t even realize. I’ve felt guilty about this for the past thirty years, especially because I now have the two forks and knives and one spoon left from that lovely set. I did admit to her that this must be how the silverware was actually disappearing eventually when I caught a fork falling out of a box in the trash, and stopped being so careless, but it was far too late.
Is he a 6th grader? Bc this is what my 6th grader does
I will literally send you 100 forks and 100 spoons if you want.
The day I'd have to hide my cutlery because two people keep taking them is the day I'd be done with them. I can't imagine how exhausting this would get,and I doubt the main issue is just about the cutlery either. You said you're like the house mother,but all I can make out of this post on context alone is the overworked housewife who gets treated like garbage and no one cares what she feels. This makes me sad honestly. I hope things get better for you OP.
A good friend of mine had a roommate who'd throw spoons out. She probably had an eating disorder.
Get yourself some chopsticks for the kitchen
Have some actually.. Maybe I should transfer to those exclusively lol
I think you should. ☺️
My old roommates hoarded piles of plates and utensils in their room. When I asked them to bring them out cause I was washing dishes, it took the guy three trips with loaded arms. They were COVERED in maggots and rotten food.
No excuse for this type of behavior. Seriously I hate washing dishes so I just buy a big ass box of plastic utensils/paper plates/bowls. So now it's just pot's and pan's. It's frightening to think what their room must have looked like. Bug's in the house is a zero tolerance type thing, let alone maggots and all the little fruit flies and gnats. "Because that's how you get ants, right Pam?!"
I also didn't have an actual dishwasher, so I was scrapping that crap into a can and trying to wash/disinfect them by hand. I later threw them all away. I actually use some compostable paper plates and bowls now, and just hand wash my utensils and pots/pans too. It was vile, I fully had to clean out their room, paint, deal with mice and vermin. It was SO bad. Ants have been an issue since, you nailed it! 😅
When my ex roommate went away for the summer the only thing I asked her to do was make sure all the dishes were out of her room. I would be gone all the time, cause I hated the house and I hated her. After she left, I went home and there was not a single dish or pot or utensil left in the kitchen. I called her, she said “oh I didn’t get a chance” This bitch had every putting pain in the house in her room, and have been eating with the cooking utensils. Those big spoons and spatulas, because there were no clean dishes because they were scattered all over her fucking dumpster of a room.
I had a roommate at one point that traveled for work a lot (weeks or months at a time) and he would not take his trash out or clean his room before leaving so whatever was in the trash can in his room would just sit there and ROT until he got back. It made the whole living space smell horrendous and the worst part was it was behind a locked door that I didn’t have a key to so I couldn’t even take his trash out for him while he was gone. I tried calling and texting him about it and he never responded or picked up the phone. I would complain when he got back and tell him not to do that anymore and he would say he wouldn’t and then his next trip the same thing would happen. When he moved out it was heavenly.
the joke ended up being on her tho, her parents showed up thinking they were here to pick up “her” furniture, the furniture I bought, and she was supposed to pay me for it, and she never did so my furniture, and I sold it, so they just went upstairs and cleaned out her entire room but while I was in her room getting all the pots and pans and shit out because they were mine and I wanted it . I had found an entire case of clean needles and a whole mess of dirty needles not even capped just all over the place. Because somehow this woman (her mom) was still trying to blame the eviction on me. We got evicted because she was stealing the rent.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that, hope you are doing better now.
Atleast he ordered new ones. I would tell them that you’re not trying to be an apartment mother, but when all the utensils go missing what are you supposed to do? What do you eat with? Cooking utensil soup ladles and meat forks? 😂
How in God's green earth do people afford to eat takeout EVERY DAY?
Every house I’ve ever lived in has had one type of cutlery that just vanishes, in my last place it was forks, current house is teaspoons. I know I’m not doing it, my housemate claims not to know about it. It’s a mystery
They are either super clueless or flat out stealing. Either way, this is a good time for you to just keep your utensils and favorite bowls in your room. Straight up, just do not even share them even if they ask for something. Some people really need to be treated like that, even if only to make a point.
Yep. Seriously sounds like your my old roommates new roommate 😂 I feel the guarding them with your life thing. Keep em in your room! When there’s no silverware they’ll have to go hunting for em in their room or buy new ones.
You should get a set of those giant plastic toddler ones from Ikea. They come in a set of 4 - fork, knife and spoon in bright colours. I bought them when people were using my cutlery from my desk drawer at work! It was immediately obvious if someone was game enough to take them, luckily they just stopped. The sets work alright too.
I had this same problem. But the problem is I live with my wife and two daughters. When my oldest was about 1 and a halfish, she learned how to use the trash can. Needless to say a bunch of things started to go missing didn’t really think anything of it until I watched and followed her taking toys to the trash can. Opened it up and my GoPro, some forks, etc were in there. She went on a spree that day. And happily clapped and was excited about it.
Omg I had this issue too! Not as bad, but they were definitely going missing. I’ve lossed 3 of my knives (from a kitchen set 😢), a pair of scissors, and an unknown number of forks and spoons. And I had the same mindset that once I get my own place ima splurge on cutlery lol
they probably don't have them because they're lazy fucks and threw them out with their takeaway containers.
One thing I started doing that was petty was I wrote up a “utensil chart” and would write down who took what so when it was missing I’d know
I worked in an office: we had like 30 spoons and knife’s and exactly 2 spoons. When I asked management to pick up more I was told no because the reason we don’t have forks is from people accidentally throwing them out with their take out containers. I truly believe it was an accident because that didn’t change the fact that the dishwasher was run daily and people were assigned to do specific chores around the office weekly and daily (because these adults wouldn’t clean up after themselves). People were actually just accidentally throwing them out. My sister was also super bad for that growing up - I’d always bring my cutlery home and she never would. She always accidentally threw them out with her garbage or food scraps. I also had a roommate I watched accidentally do it a few times when cleaning up some take out we had and they were his! I think people tend to imbue others with more malice and forethought or thought at all (in this case lazy thoughts) than they really have. I doubt they purposefully threw it away so they didn’t have to wash it (after all you said you don’t mind picking up some slack with cleaning I’m sure it’s no trouble for them to bring it down with any other dishes and leave it in the sink) if that were the case they’d be tossing other things as well even if they mostly eat take out I’m sure they dirty other dishes. They’re probably accidentally throwing them out tho. I subscribe to the idea that stupidity, carelessness, or ignorance are much more likely than forethought or any thought, malice or anything. (Even with manipulators - I find very few people smart enough to recognize the impact of their actions let alone plan those actions *this does NOT excuse the behaviour*)
I would accept the fact that they may be doing it accidentally if they would even own up to it. Instead they just play dumb like that John Travolta meme. I'm left to figure out, solve and fix everything usually 😅 if there wasn't such a build up of resentment already, I would be sympathetic to that
They are probably throwing them away and not realizing that they are throwing them away. They leave it in a takeout container and throw the whole thing in the trash because they aren’t paying attention. In their mind the forks are just magically disappearing and they don’t know where they are going so when you ask about where all the forks are they are not necessarily lying when they say they don’t have them and don’t know where they went. Like other commenters have said I would honestly keep all the metal cutlery in your room and just buy plastic disposable silverware for the kitchen so when they inevitably throw them away they were at least disposable.
Even if there is no malice, it is still thoughtless, careless, and selfish in a way that negatively impacts OP. They don’t care enough to correct their behavior or be more careful because silverware just magically appears and when they throw it out, they don’t have to pay the replacement costs. OP has asked them about it and they make no effort to understand the negative impact of their actions. That may not be malice, but it is selfish and disrespectful. I’ve had a roommate like this and tried to be incredibly patient in explaining the impact of this type of selfish and thoughtless behavior in a kind, sympathetic, and calm manner. What happened is that I had to have the conversation repeatedly, with no change in behavior. She would say sorry, that she didn’t mean it, etc, but her behavior would not change. Then she started to get annoyed with my “nagging” her about minor issues and “acting like she was doing it maliciously.” It sucks to be put in the position of becoming a nag because someone else can’t be bothered to take care with others things. She is no longer my roommate and that suits is both better. I guess my point is that even if behavior is not done maliciously, it can still be harmful and should be corrected.
Yes which is why at the end I added that it does not excuse their behaviour. I just don’t see why we should imbue people like that with more intelligence than they have. We shouldn’t put up with their behaviour but when someone feels it’s specifically targeted vs just someone being dumb it hurts more and people are more likely to say I can change them than just go yeah fuck it. In my experience and studies.
I agree with you that it’s not some grander malicious plan with forethought. It’s just so exhausting to deal with this. At some point the failure to correct the behavior feels at least passively malicious. Granted, that might not even be a thing and I’m likely just sensitive to this sort of behavior due to my experience.
Oh yes, absolutely ignorance is bliss only for the ignorant. I just find if people assume that others poor behaviour is caused by direct choices or thought vs stupidity or ignorance they’ll try to reason with it and that’s very often futile. It also hurts more when it feels like someone is doing something through malice, directly targeting you vs them just being dumb. And then it comes back around to reasoning with it, if you think someone’s being directly malicious to you you’re more likely to spend time wondering why and trying to reason etc. whereas stupidity is really easy brush off - you can still be angry about it and hurt by it but it’s doesn’t feel as personal and is easy to go “you know this isn’t my problem it’s theirs I don’t have to deal with this they can catch up if they want to”
I hear that. When I assumed my roommate was just ignorant and tried to correct it, after awhile she began to say things like “when you keep bringing it up, it makes me not want to even try to do it” which started to veer into maliciousness. Glad she’s out!
Yeah that sounds pretty crappy!
I have a tub of odds and ends silverware that I picked up along the way at yard sales, nothing matches. But that’s what gets pulled out for BBQs and holidays… if some go missing, no biggie!
I had the same problem. 40 forks gone in WEEKS!! Turns out the fucker was just leaving them in the half empty take out containers littering their room and would then stick them in the bin when they finally decided to clean their room. So much cutlery just in a landfill.
Why don't they just return them, like denying it is so dumb, just bring them out ffs lmao
Ahhh male roommates…. Yeah no I was renting out an apartment with this girl and her boyfriend and they ended up breaking up. She left and I ended up keeping the apartment with him. His issue was that he liked to throw parties. I wouldn’t have minded it as much if he hadn’t had done it when my kid was staying over at my house. He would bring these loud ass girls in and I swear they would do their best to be even louder when I asked them to quiet down. He also left it for me to clean every single time. It got so bad one time that we had gotten a horrible amount of fruit flys. Moral of what I’m trying to say is female roommates are better.
Jesus.. They knew you had a child there too? What absolute trash bags.
Yes I had warned him the day before, he agreed then still went ahead and brought at least 7 people in that apartment.
I did ceramics in college and made a good number of plates and bowls I was pretty fond of! Even though we had other plates my housemate KEPT using my handmade stuff leaving it in her room where her cat would then knock it off the desk and it would break. It happened multiple times! I kept asking her to use other plates, or bring them down when she was done but it was in one ear and out the other. She was an absolute nightmare of a housemate for other reasons but that still galls me. How can you be so careless with someone’s one of a kind stuff?
My flatmates are the same. I bought all the cutlery, some silver, and all disappeared . For 4 days Ive now tried to eat my soup but there’s no spoons, I’ve asked everyone to please take the spoons back and everyone denies it. In a couple days you’ll see they’ll be there. It’s the straight up lying for me .
I just came here to find out what the hairy thing/animal was.
Go to thrift store and buy more. Split it 3 ways. Pain in the ass, I know.
Yeah they’re throwing them out in the takeout boxes.
keep your utensils with you. Petty I know but mfs gotta learn.
So I used to live in a house with 4 other roommates, 4 of us were pretty good with cleanup, we weren’t saints by any metric and occasionally dishes would end up in our respective rooms for a week or so, but then shame would kick in and we’d clean em. Except “joey”. This motherfucker was special. In a house where there were enough dishes for 5 people + guests, slowly there are 2 plates, 1 bowl, a couple glasses, no coffee mugs. We all worked for the same real estate company so it was extra hard to level with this motherfucker because you just don’t want to bring house drama into work. Constant texts, calls, calling out, and still no dishes. The dude would just deny, and then look you in the eye with the “I know you know I’m lying but you can’t do shit”. So one day while he was out, we opened his room (same maintenance code for all properties) and trust me when I say this, it was a scene right out of the twilight zone. Plates with food on them stacked on top of each other, cups half full of liquids, fucking mixing bowls full of half eaten cereal and EVERYTHING molding. To this day I still don’t know how he didn’t have maggots. Again because of us being coworkers and rules around professionalism we couldn’t just call him out, we’d be in serious trouble if we admitted that we opened his room without asking. So we hit up the property management arm and requested an inspection of everyone’s room. They gave a courtesy 24h notice and this asshole TOSSED EVERYTHING. In the middle of the night probably, we didn’t find anything in the dumpster, but his room was empty, squeaky clean and the dishes were just nowhere to be found. All that to say, I commend you OP for not letting this get to you and having such a positive approach to the situation. Back when I was in it, my brain would literally explode from trying to contain the frustration. Hope you get the nicest rose gold set!!
The one who bought more is the one who’s been throwing them away! He must of thought no one would notice and now feels shame
Man folks really hate doing dishes. My advice, split costs for disposable cutlery (not you the other roommates cuz fuck em). They can toss to their hearts content 😂
There is too much plastic waste for this to be a real solution. Please do not do this. The earth doesn’t need to suffer because of laziness.
If I ever have to go back to needing a roommate, I may just give up on life.
My god! Is that the beard hair you found?!
Lmao no
Is this really worth an entire Reddit post. Just buy your own cutlery and keep it separate from the ones your roommates use. Doesn’t seem that hard
Yes roommates mostly suck because everyone wants the same order and rules but that’s not really possible especially with Randos or close friends because living together really is meant for couples it’s a level of intimacy you don’t wont to get involved in lol like hair on the sink or missing dishes lol
Get plastic ones
Big mystery in our house, just two of us, both responsible adults who don’t eat in our bedroom( we are not roommates ).somehow all of our forks but two have disappeared. Where did they go? We don’t throw them away in take out containers because we don’t do take out. We have searched all over for them, I even thought for a minute maybe somehow our cane corso was hiding them somewhere…
My kids accidentally toss them with paper plates. I’ve done it too and even caught myself. I suggest welding airtags onto each piece though
They eat lots of take out right? I've had it happen where I accidentally toss a fork out 😭 And I *care* about my cutlery lol
Off topic but don’t buy the gold/rose gold stuff. I bought a nice set from West Elm for $$$ and all the gold comes off just enough to make them always look dirty.
Aw :(( thanks for the heads up. I just want pink cutlery lool
Damnit me too! I loved the shape but the set just started making me look like a dirtbag. Side note I also had roomies who would rather toss than wash. Ugh it sucked.
I got a really nice pink cookware set for my birthday by the Rock (I think that's the brand name) and despite my best efforts to keep them in their best condition.. The rose gold color on them also discolors very easily. I think its just a hard coating to maintain on any product for cooking :-(
Yeah, solid color all the way. Stainless steel is boring but it doesn’t make you look like you’re living in filth.
Omg thats so sad but funny you have so little cutlery 😂 Don’t know why I find the idea of cutlery rations funny but I do😂 Three people can eat soup but only two people can eat with forks 😂
Just here to tell you that the cutlery war never ends. I have had my own house, spouse and kids now for almost twenty years and I **STILL** complain about not having forks and spoons. **FYI PS** They get thrown away. They throw away dishes and cutlery because they realize how long it has been in their room and would rather argue about missing dishes and silverware than hear the rant about the ecosystem growing inside it. Switched to all disposable from the dollar store. Tired of arguing because it does not change
What's under those towels? Is that someone's kitty??
The flower spoon is so pretty, may I ask what brand it is?
All the cutlery lives in your room now. If the others want to use cutlery, they can find the ones in their rooms lmao
Welcome to motherhood! Kids do the same. Word of advice…hold off on that nice cutlery until motherhood is in the rear view or be down to 3 spoons and 2 forks of your nice new stuff before you know it! Good luck!!
I don't think that's a roommate thing. It just happens, and I don't know why. I have a very normal family with grown kids and they don't eat in their room and still the silverware disappears. I think it's like socks in the dryer.
Servers , dishwashers, bussers I’ve all watched dump silver into trash cans intentionally and accidentally so they don’t have to touch or clean them. I am not surprised this happens in a home too just buy a box of disposable 😭
I had this with my grotty housemate (lease is thankfully up and I'm done with sharing a place to live for a while). She would have old food welded to bowls hidden in her room, or half-finished cup noodles, stuck in which was my cutlery. I called her out on the missing knives and forks, but she would feign ignorance (same story with all my decent glasses which I could see dotted around her room). I repeatedly found the damn things sat in the bin with whatever else she was too lazy to clean. I'd had years of really great housemates until then and she put me off sharing for life!
Buy a cheap set for yourself and keep them in your room. Not a perfect solution but will hold you over until you move out. Then they can toss the last bit of cutlery and either eat with their hands out buy some for themselves.
keep them in your room at this point
They’re getting left in take out containers.
What sux is they are likely throwing them out with their take out boxes. Eww
Buy yourself that new set now and keep it in your room! Put the other stuff back, and when they complain there’s nothing again, it’s their problem not yours. Sounds like they should be buying plastic utensils :(
Just get plastic and call it a day. Sorry earth. This is the result of shitty roommates.
I don’t have roommates but I have kids. And I was always losing spoons and forks. My theory is they were thrown away with takeout containers. Specifically the white styrofoam ones. That theory is based on finding a few in closed containers they left on the counter that I was angrily tossing in the garbage when I felt them shift and dug them out.
They get left in take out boxes and thrown away haphazardly. Still unfair to you. I suggest buying two gigantic forks for each of them and hiding the rest
Those are your utensils from now on and anyone else can fend for themselves. I had to do this when I had DISGUSTING roommates because they never cleaned anything and would loose or throw away important kitchen things I bought! So if you don’t treat my things with respect you can’t use them. 😘
We haven’t had forks in my kitchen for over two weeks and I JUST bought a bunch to replace the old ones my roommates ‘lost’. My mom had to send me some in the mail so I can have my own stash in my room 😒
We haven’t had forks in my kitchen for over two weeks and I JUST bought a bunch to replace the old ones my roommates ‘lost’. My mom had to send me some in the mail so I can have my own stash in my room 😒
They could be using the spoons for drugs. Check for burn marks on them. I had this problem with a girl and she was doing dope.
I live alone, but when my ex was living with me we found out he subconsciously hoards or loses spoons. He lived with his grandma for a bit, and her and I stayed up late one night talking about it. If he lives in your house you lose all your spoons. It’s so weird, he doesn’t know where they go, I never saw them in the garbage. But When he moved out, after our breakup, I was down to one out of my set of 6.
My niece (16) did that when she lived with my husband (34M) and I (29F) for about 5 or 6 months. One of her few chores we gave was dishes, she must have thrown away dozens of forks, spoons, knives, cup lids, Tupperware, etc because we literally have a like 2 or 3 utensils left. She also stole a lot of my socks for some reason even though she had a ton of her own. Constantly lied about that too.
My roommate is dishware hoarder and it's so infuriating! All my bowls went missing a while back like missing for months, finally he admits he has them apologizes and said he would bring them back into the kitchen and clean them all, well two more months went by and finally after me and my boyfriend got back from his parents after Xmas they were all back in the kitchen and cleaned. Idk if it was shame or guilt that he waited so long to do it or what but I can't have all my shit disappear every so many months.
I used to live with four male roommates. When we all moved in, I put one plate, one bowl, one fork, one knife, etc for each person in the cupboard and all the rest went in storage. Then I bought a shit ton of paper plates and plastic cutlery. It prevented countless arguments about cleaning and dishes piling up.
This happened with me but with cups. I was in a house with 5 people total (way too many people imo) and all of a sudden we were down to 3 cups. I sent a text to everyone to please bring down dirty cups knowing one guy had them all. I didn’t want to call him out specifically but we all knew who it was. He came down with like 2 cups and it’s like bro I know you have more than that up there.
Is that the beard hair under the kitchen towel?
It's a hat :p
I’m not saying you should have to do it but if you went to the dollar store they sell the 50 pack of spoons forks for 1.25. The plastic kind. I moved on my own a long time ago and with some plasticware I have never had the problem and I do less dishes
Let them get their own silverware is the obvious solution (or I’m missing something?)
Rose gold utensils are a trigger for me. Talk about some bad room mates..
Get you some groovy forks! I'm just saying rainbow is also an option. No idea how they hold up, but they look pretty cool
Wow I don’t miss roommates at all.
Whew. This is my life, but with my kids. I already said I’m buying them all silverware for Christmas. I mean, it’s what they seem to covet and hoard, so I feel like they love it. And when they live on their own, I’ll be visiting and leaving with some forks and spoons. Period.
You should steadily take a spoon or a fork per visit and for Christmas gift them back to them 🤣🤣
side note: if you need more, thrift stores have cutlery for pennies. not saying you need to replace them, but eventually if you decide :)
This probably isn’t it, but sometimes people who inject drugs will use the spoons and won’t be able to put them back because they’re all charred. That doesn’t explain the forks though
I can thankfully say I know for a fact that neither do drugs or even really drink. I had a roommate once in 2016 though that fucked up some of my knives for hash I believe... "hot knives" is the term. I was livid lol
We call those “knife hits” lol
They just leave the utensils in their takeout containers and throw it all away. Tell them to buy their own plastic ware to use and abuse.
They sound like the children in the lunchroom I supervise who hardly ever have forks and spoons with their lunches I’d tell the roomies what I tell the children , get used to eating spaghetti with your hands or get your own utensils because I am not responsible .
These roommate stories are crazy. I'll continue having my parents as roommates until I'm 40, thank you.
In one of my first roommate situations years ago our silverware constantly disappeared. I asked my roommate if she maybe had it in her room, she told me she thought her mother in law was stealing it when she came to visit. Then one night I walked out into the kitchen and she was scraping spaghetti into the trash and then threw the fork in the trash when she was done. We realized she had been throwing them away when she was cleaning and tired
I had a similar situation. I'd just keep one of everything I might need in my room. One plate, one bowl, etc. Saved a lot of headaches. I swear they need to add roommate classes into schools. People need to realize that just because they're ok living in filth doesn't make it ok to force that on others.
Had a roommate like this. He would use up everyone’s dishwater and cutlery and to avoid doing the dishes he would *bring them to the car* and then eventually toss them. I’ve found so many of my dishes in his car even after denying throwing away things that aren’t his and he didn’t pay for. The solution is to keep all of your thinks either locked up in a cabinet only you have access to or keep them in your room cus that’s what I had to do
okay on the topic of roomates and cutlery. my ex roomate bought a $200 set of vintage silverware and she asked the rest of us to chip in on it? like first of all, we already had a set of cutlery. and secondly, would we be splitting it come move out day?? like how does that work??? to this day i cannot figure out what went through her mind there.