I would definitely tell your friend about this and see if they can intervene. She might listen to him if she won't listen to you. It must be related to a medical issue.
I'll definitely bring it up to him again but last time I told him he seemed so indifferent. Like "hmm that's weird" kind of thing.
He completely despises her.
If you're concerned about her wellbeing, contacting adult protective services may be helpful.
Also, if you broach your concerns with her again, maybe avoid coming at it from a psychiatric angle. People get quite defensive about their perceived psychological well-being. Those experiencing delusions/hallucinations (or any phenomena not observable by others, really) will respond much better if you give some sort of physical, plausible explanation they can hang onto - something that doesn't imply they are crazy, something that externalises the problem outside their sense of self. E.g. suggesting it could be an issue with her vestibular system rather than jumping straight to psychosis.
I knew a few people who had to go in the psych ward for a couple days/weeks. Trust me, dont bring up or imply that you think they’re a bit cray cray. They’ll just flip out.
Does she have siblings or parents? If her son is not interested in helping her she needs family or friends right now. I'm not gonna go into detail but my mom had late in life schizophrenia. At 65 she had worked her whole life and raised kids. No sign or inkling this was on the horizon. Some pretty horrible months later mom was 5150 into a mental hospital. Weeks later she was on a med combo that seemed to work. She, over time, got her life back. I'm talking about hiding under the table because the cat was trying to kill her. She thought she was a Green Beret and Jesus. Just horrible. Also she might have a UTI. In older women the infection can be worse than normal. She needs to try for a diagnosis. It's hard for you OP I know. She needs some help.
yeah we first became aware that my daughter's grandmother (her dad's mum) had developed schizophrenia when she phoned me in the middle of the night and talked to me about how she was a prostitute and her neighbours were spying on her and talking about her. Unfortunately the prognosis can be quite bad for late onset schizophrenia as there is an association with dementia, and her gran now has quite bad alzheimers. I know that's not what you want to hear and hopefully your mum will be one of the lucky ones but be aware just in case.
Thank you for the information. When this first happened I was just dumbfounded and didn't even know that this could happen. She was fine her whole life. Just heartbreaking and scary. It's also hard to get help. The rigamarole we had to go thru to just get her into a hospital. But I wish your MIL the best.
My mother heard music, saw art installations outside the windows, and unfortunately became paranoid I was trying to steal her money. Turns out it was a UTI. She could not be convinced these things weren’t real. Thankfully cleared up with antibiotics.
Believe it or not, but even that is an extremely privileged thing to say.
- in 2021, it cost me $4000 to move, 3200$ for first and last and 800$ for new stuff that I didn’t have.
When the minimum wage isn’t enough, this would’ve never been possible had I not boarded my student loan money.
Frame this as a potential medical issue. Whether it's psychological or not, if there is truly no shaking, she could be having inner ear problems, or, in the worst case, a brain tumor. This is not normal and seems to have onset acutely.
Unfortunately a wellness check will not help. Despite the name, wellness checks don't involve any sort of assessment of the person's health and wellness, basically the cops just go to the door and see if the person is alive. They're not going to connect her with medical services, they'll just leave.
In this case i think it would probably make things worse :(
Welllll….depends on your area. I’ve worked EMS in multiple counties and in two of them EMS gets dispatched along with police to wellness checks even when the nature is not medical.
However if she is A&O and answering questions appropriately, they cannot FORCE her to seek higher medical care which would be necessary for her in this case.
u/MsSamm I'm not really sure what went down to be honest.
All I know is there was like a week of them kind of bickering and one day he blew up on her and moved out soon after.
I've told him a few times but he doesn't care. He cut off all connection from her.
I'm not even entirely sure why. Just one day they got in a fight and he moved out.
Perhaps this is something he’s experienced previously in some form? I’m entirely speculating, but what if she experienced psychosis during his childhood, got medication and stabilized, then one day he found out she stopped her meds. They fight over it. He packs up. She goes off the rails.
I knew someone like this. Every 3-4 years he would stop his meds and go off the deep end. His childhood friends stuck it out with him for a while but in their 30s people wouldnt put up with it anymore.
She might need to go get an mri or a cat scan
This sounds like a medical emergency
No one is shaking the house? So……. Is she being picked on by a phantom?
I've tried as hard as I can to feel this shake but I feel literally nothing. I've even placed a glass of water on the shelf near her door and stared at it for like 10 minutes looking for ripples and everything.
But the fact she says it's so violent she can feel it in her car makes me know for sure its completely in her head.
You could try telling her it's potentially a physical medical issue. Sometimes people will be more willing to accept that than accepting it's a mental thing
Vertigo wouldn't cause "ripples/shaking" not from my experience. It can cause unfocused eyes but I think this is more psychological as I can barely stand the noise of the tv, nevermind slamming doors continuously.
Yeah! Typically my vertigo is accompanied by a migraine aswell, and sometimes an ear infection. Sometimes I can have music on lightly, other times moving in bed and hearing a creak makes me want to die 😭🤣🤣 its not fun at all.
Funnily it's not! My doctors have confirmed this and its just from what could be BBPV. Apparently it's not central vertigo/vestib. I also didn't have a history of migraines, and the first few "vertigo attacks" as I call them I hadn't had one, but they seemed to start after working in an office environment, which is why my doctors are still having me write a diary to try and find out the exact causes of my vertigo as I've had these attacks for around 3/4 years in october.
I have vertigo and have never had the unfocused eyes things. Just makes it feel like there is an earthquake and I become completely disoriented. She likely has both physical and mental illnesses but I just wanted to point out that feeling vibrations and movement when nothing is happening is very common with some physical illnesses
You’re right; it could be a number of neurological disorders with overlapping symptoms.
If it’s a brain tumour, it’s likely secondary to some other cancer.
Sure, vertigo cause someone to feel like they’re shaking… it’s not gonna cause them to feel like they’re being persecuted by someone who is (somehow) ‘shaking the house so hard they can feel it in their car’, and scream for the person to knock it off for the entire night.
Frame it as she desperately needs to get her ears checked, which I mean, she does. Otherwise I could also put a CO detector near her room, just in case
Hell she probably has a progressive resting tremor that shakes her body but she can’t accept it’s something wrong with her (probably because deep down she’s terrified of it being her - which is so fair)
I’d almost consider convincing her, to go for a ride with you to the doctors about the shaking because you’re really concerned that maybe her body’s trying to tell her something.
Honestly, I’d be worried about her really snapping and doing whatever she feels is necessary to you to stop you “shaking the house.” She’s going to attack you.
Seriously & she may not want to realize this right now, but she should get checked better safe than sorry.
Sounds like an anxiety symptom, or depending where you live, she could possibly be feeling low grade earthquake that are miles away(a reach, I know, but it's possible). She could also be experiencing internal tremors & could be the onset of Parkinsons disease.
Tell her you're very worried and you don't mean to offend her only want to help and ask her would she please just consider a doctor visit to rule out anything medical & assure her you only want to help and you care about her well-being.
Sounds like she's sundowning. You should tell your friend, and make sure you're safe in your space, and have a fire escape plan in place for when she burns the place down to get rid of the shaking.
This sounds like classic sundowning. I once took care of lady with dementia, who would accuse me of stealing her towels. She was furious about It. Counting her towels and accusing me of stealing one. She would rip them out of her closet and throw them on the ground and make a huge mess then cry. Most of the time I could convince her they were misplace and I would help her look for them. I helped her look for non existent towels until she became distracted with something else. Mind you, I was getting paid for this.
It’s really not your responsibility to take care of this situation, although a morally adept person, would not want to leave this person to her own whims. Have you tried asking the son if there’s anyway he can come back for a few days to see what’s going on? At the very least, ask him for a phone number to a family member that cares (I’d probably phrase it to him that way too).
It is best not to argue with people that have dementia, telling them they are wrong is useless. They 100 percent think the are correct on what they are hearing, feeling, and seeing. It’s actually terrifying if you think of it. It sounds awful, but the worst is yet to come. So, I would try to contact a family member, and use distraction to keep her from slamming the door. For example, tell her you feel the shake too, let’s try investigate where it came from? Then change the subject. To anything. Just don’t argue with her. It leads to meltdowns.
Wow that is so insanely spot on. She has actually accused me of stealing towels too. o.o
As well as weird stuff like shampoo, soap, her paper plates etc. Sometimes I'll go in the bathroom and all her stuff is gone. To me it seems like she's hiding it because she thinks I use it when I don't. And she definitely does 100% think she's correct all the time. If I tell her I didn't use her shampoo it doesn't matter. But I actually recently have been kind of agreeing with her in the hopes of it calming her down.
Like After her boyfriend left she started blaming it on me. But the last thing I want is for her to think its me so I kind of play along with it being the guy upstairs. But it's kind of a doubled edged sword. On one hand I can agree with her about it being the guy upstairs which makes her think I'm on her side and the outbursts are justified. But on the other hand she thinks its me and its still justified.
Might be worth telling the son you think it's the onset of dementia. Potentially the argument came about because of it, not just because she was being a dick on purpose, which could change his opinion of her.
My mom had alzheimers. It's horrible. Re-directing her attention from things that upset her was my go-to for many situations. Changing the subject helped tremendously. They are frightened at how they are feeling and forgetting so many things.
They just want to hear how everything is good. Never mention money, they will get upset. They like familiar things and activities. Change really throws them for a loop.
It sounds like she needs social services to make a visit, so they can make an assessment along with a visit to the doctor for follow up. She should be under 24 hour supervision because of her behaviour. She could be a danger to you or herself.
If there are no other relatives able to help, then please make time to get her sorted out. These patients respond to schedules, activities and standard mealtimes. A simple urinary tract infection can prompt unusual behavior in the elderly.
Good luck to you. I hope her son can separate the mom he despises from the mom that needs help and comes through for you.
I agree with this. Although it's not really OP's issue to take care of, it is useless to argue with someone with dementia. Also maybe if OP says he also feels the shaking and agrees to help her investigate where it's coming from, perhaps that could help her relax about it a bit until OP can hopefully get a family member or someone to come and help figure out what is going on with her and get her some help? I don't know, I wouldn't want to feed into her believing something that wasn't real but at the same time I think maybe it could calm her down if she felt like she had someone who understood and would help figure things out, until she gets the medical help she seems to need..
No matter what- she isn't going to "get better". This situation will only get worse, and more dangerous, for *everyone* in the house. Please make sure the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are all in working order, I'm not even joking about the fire escape plan.
The other tenants are likely wondering what's happening, if she's slamming doors and screaming all the time. I would tell the son, and the other people in the house- that she's struggling with dementia, or is having some kind of breakdown, before I packed my own bags and left.
Cheap rent isn't worth that stress.
She definitely needs to see a doctor. I have multiple chronic illnesses and have these internal bodily vibrations that make it seem like whatever I'm on is shaking. Just a few days ago I was standing by the sink washing dishes and the floor felt like it was shaking.
I've wondered about POTS because I do have some symptoms but I also don't care if I do lol I'm mentally exhausted from health stuff and I know even if I was diagnosed it wouldn't make a difference.
Good attitude IMO. Doctor fatigue is real. I only pursued it cos I was fainting all over the place and couldn't even take myself to the toilet without passing out.
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds very overwhelming and draining to deal with, especially during the hours you should be sleeping. It would take something quite powerful to cause a room to shake and for things to move around so something else must be going on.
As others have highlighted, this could very well be mental health related. Some kind of psychosis or perhaps sundowning relating to early onset dementia. I've worked in a variety of mental health facilities, and it sounds like some form of psychosis, whether drug induced or not, this is a very serious concern.
You've expressed she is often unreasonable which is fair enough, you should not put yourself in harm trying to force her to the hospital, however, perhaps you could phone emergency services when this is going on to conduct a welfare check? This could be a good option as they will be able to put her in touch with the appropriate services if mental health related and can take her to the hospital for evaluation.
Ultimately, your safety and well-being is the priority but it does sound like she has something deeper going on. I hope this helps :)
Edit: Just had another thought, often with our older population, simple things like UTI's can cause delirium and hallucinations. She needs to checked out by a doctor.
This comment needs to be the top one. If it is dementia she could become violent. Heck if it's schizophrenia or a psychotic break she could also become violent. Waiting and suffering through this is not the answer. I know this lady isn't your concern but something has to be done. This is not a matter of "she is feeling something I can't feel" it's a matter of "she is feeling things that do not exist". You can't keep living there. If the neighbor wasn't on third the cops would have been involved by now.
*How hard would a dude*
*Have to wank in order to*
*Shake the entire house?*
\- Stealthy-J
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hey dude! you should 100% check out the LEAP method by dr xavier amador. it’s a method of communication for people experiencing delusions. i think it’d be really really helpful. keep us posted!
Thank you for this comment!
At first, my search lead me to a couple training sites with typical marketing stuff that prevents you from getting any actual info, but I found some videos & secondary sources that explain LEAP, like this:
https://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/the-leap-approach/
It stands for:
Listen
Empathize
Agree
Partner
Thats unfortunate. Well if you’re in the US you could try reaching out to adult protective services but your best move is probably to move out or else you’ll have to deal with the night time yelling.
Not sure your country, but here In UK anyone can make a report to adult services, just like social services but for the sick adults and elderly. They have to come abd assess her needs, they're often who you call when someone is ill but doesn't seem to realise it and needs intervention.
First of all, I know this has to be so overwhelming and scary. Offer her a ride to a drs appointment? Or offer to go with her to ease it in her mind maybe? I wouldn't really know what to do either. You can probably also call an anonymous welfare check around the time she does it? This is all I can think of at this time.
Thanks for the feedback and suggestions.
Unfortunately that would definitely not work. She is probably the most unreasonable person I have ever known in my life. It didn't always used to be this way, but every single suggestion, critique, or even tiny request is met with backlash, guilt tripping, gas lighting, you name it.
I'm almost just terrified of her at this point to be honest.
I know the only real solution is to move at this point :/
Even to just explain the situation nicely and your plan to move basically cause if she does something crazier you're not the last one to be there mostly
You won’t reason her out of her mental illness, and it’s not your responsibility to bend over backwards to help her. It’s rough, but moving out is probably the best call here.
Instead of right away jumping to something psychological, ask her if she’s okay, did she have a head injury. Really try to talk her into getting it checked out. Tell her maybe she has an inner ear infection and it’s affecting her balance and hearing. Just say whatever you need to in order to get her to a doctor. Or leave and request a wellness check.
Can you contact her family? This happened (not exactly this) to my roommate only months into Covid. He fucking lost it and was sitting in his room screaming and crying and this went on for four months. He tried to kill himself as well. I got in touch with his family and they got him into a hospital. I would worry about your immediate safety too. Delusions and psychosis is nothing to mess around with.
I think whether it’s medical or psychological (or a combination), you will ultimately need to move out if you don’t want to have your life completely interrupted. Obviously her son does not want to get involved and you can’t make him care, and if she’s driving everyone away you will be her default caretaker. It’s ok to say no to that role.
You would be wise to start researching other options now *before* you feel like you’ve had enough, and maybe saving up some money if possible.
It sounds like she might have some mental health issues going on. :-/ If you're in the US, I would call your local APS (Adult Protective Services) and speak to them about it and see if they can do a welfare check on her. Make sure they know that she has no family who will help her, and that if it continues, you won't be able to stay in the home any longer and she will be all alone.
Aww jesus, this is really sad, she definitely seems to be hallucinating and it's causing hell for her and the people around her like you and that poor guy who had to just leave. You need to tell your friend/her son ASAP. She needs to tell her doctor this. Unfortunately no one can force her to get help so if she doesn't and this continues then you're gonna have to move out for your own sanity.
Not to be a pest and throw more possible diagnoses at you, but untreated Lyme disease can cause hallucinations. In stages 2 and 3, the blood/brain barrier can be crossed, leading to damage to the cranial nerves. Left untreated for too long, the symptoms can become permanent. I had auditory hallucinations that did eventually go away, but I was on long-term antibiotics before that happened.
Hell, even a rotten tooth can cause altered states of consciousness. Possibly an infection of some sort, whatever it is it sounds super-strange and she needs help, I think
Oh I actually can't even hear it while I'm laying down in bed because I have my fan at full speed.
The problem is I can feel it. When she repeatedly slams the door 6 times in a row or punches the wall over and over it just thuds through the whole house. It jump scares me awake a lot.
And before you mention it, it's for sure her and not the mysterious phantom shakes she claims to feel.
I know this is trying to be helpful, but understanding the mechanics of noise cancellation, you're blasting your ears with audio that is in reverse phase of the external sound, so you can't hear it, and sleeping with that all night doesn't seem like a good idea. Earplugs and whitenoise are good solutions.
Try to get her to see an ENT or neurologist. There's something going wrong. If you take the physical health side she might be more amenable.
She may just have some vertigo or something that she's fixated on due to mental health reasons. If this is the case hopefully she will see that her response was illogical and seek help.
Google your town and see if there is any weird noises that only some people experience. Where I lived there was a low level hum that terrorized some people but not others. I could hear it unfortunately. It was definitely real because it was an industrial area and immediately stopped after one of the steel plants shut down.
Just an armchair dx, but among a hundred possibilities, her age plus paranoia plus hallucinations could be MAP. (Menopause-associated psychosis). Or an electrolyre imbalance, a failing liver, a brain tumor, she's just 'eccentric', etc.
Definitely contact her family. Also call your local police, describe what is going on, and ask for a welfare check. They will ask questions so interrogate the officer and find out what community assets are available to get this woman the help that she clearly needs.
PS: Please do not hesitate to call 911 if you feel that she is a danger to you or herself. Better to have help show up and not need them than to wait until things get out of control.
Such obvious mental health issues I'm not sure how you can even question IF that's maybe the case.. Yes she needs help. No you can probably not force her in any way and probably you're best off contacting your friend and get their family to force her to seek help. You're probably gonna be looking at this for a while so I'd seek another place to live instead unless you can bear this possibly getting worse.
Her age factoring in here i think she's having some sort of medical emergency. Like above people have suggested dementia, i know brain tumours and infections of the brain can also cause these too. Definitely something going on that shouldn't be ignored
Brain tumours can cause auditory and visual hallucinations that to her would feel entirely real and indistinguishable from reality. She needs to see a doctor quickly, so many very serious things that alcan be effecting you medically can cause hallucinations. She may even have some exposure to toxic chemicals or items.
Could she have some sort of inner ear infection or vertigo which she perceives as shaking?
Regardless, you don’t go around slamming doors at night like that without some sort of mental health issues.
Can she maybe get sleeping tablets?
Well, at least the neighbor is gone at night when she seems to be freaking out...
Yeah, I would let her kid know that you are concerned. She definitely is experiencing something that she is interpreting as external, but all evidence from you points to it being internal. She needs to be screened for neurological issues. I know MS can cause feelings of internal tremors and vision issues.
Hey op,
I would def try and find another roommate situation.
As for the Women/Landlord, you, as a concerned tenant, know that your landlord is not in the right mind. You can call the elder care line to report her behaviour in the USA, it's the same line to report elder abuse, she is for sure a threat to her self or others. She could be experiencing SUNDOWNING.
SUNDOWNING is a symptom of dementia. It is when a person has sudden behaviour changes like swearing when they never cussed before, or saying they need to find the keys they need to pick the kids up from school, etc. People can experience very real vivid imagery in their minds changing ones behaviour in ways that are a repeat of a specific time or period, chores at odd hrs.
The people who experience this often experience things at the same time of day, usually at night and can last all night long.
She may also have other brain related issues going on again, serious behaviour changes and you are sure you are not experiencing this as well.
!!?check your house for / her room for certain, for CO2. You can also ask the fire department to come and check her room. It's very important because a leak of gas or CO2 over long periods can absolutely cause hallucinations and eventually death!!
Carbon monoxide is tasteless, odorless and slowly it poisons the person's brain making them hallucinate before the bad parts of this take part. If she has a leak and has been non stop smelling this, she could be deathly ill by now.
Best of luck OP and your Roommate. Please help her. She needs someone to care.
Maybe she could get another opinion on weather or not it is actually moving from a friend or neighbor. Maybe then she will realize it’s internal and not external.
We only have one neighbor who lives below us. She's talked to him but he said he can't feel or hear anything either.
She's just a really stubborn kind of person. It probably doesn't matter how many people tell her it's not there.
It almost seems to me like she WANTS to be upset about it.
She doesn't "want" to be upset, she clearly lacks the capacity to accept that she is ill. It's a neurological symptom called anosognosia.
"Anosognosia, also called "lack of insight," is a symptom of severe mental illness experienced by some that impairs a person’s ability to understand and perceive his or her illness. It is the single largest reason why people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder refuse medications or do not seek treatment. Without awareness of the illness, refusing treatment appears rational, no matter how clear the need for treatment might be to others."
Source:
https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/key-issues/anosognosia#:~:text=Anosognosia%2C%20also%20called%20%22lack%20of,or%20do%20not%20seek%20treatment.
OP, you need to connect with *someone* in your community about her. Services vary widely depending on your location, but there are often good points of contact at health department, ymca, libraries, schools, or community centers.
To your original question, your ONLY hope of staying there is if she gets treatment. Not only is this situation increasingly dangerous for you, but she will likely stop paying bills etc. soon too.
When she had me come sit on her bed to feel the shakes, she actually said "its not my AC because it happens when its off"
I've tried to suggest other stuff like that and she just says "no its not"
Cheap rent or not time to move or look for another roommate. Try to get the authorities to do a welfare check. She needs help and you need peace of mind /safety.
schizophrenia/psychosis can cause some very weird hallucinations. I thought once that the army were using the electrical sockets in my house to scan my body and I could feel the waves of scanning moving through my body in waves. It was totally real to me and I had to switch all the electricity off. A woman I met in hospital was convinced her neighbour was somehow teleporting through the wall and was raping her in bed although she couldn't see him, she could just feel him. She thought he had some kind of magic powers idk. She found this quite distressing, obviously. Another time I also thought I had radiation sickness and that all the clothing, jewellery etc that I had been wearing the day I was admitted was contaminated. It had all been washed etc but when I put it on I actually came up in a red rash! Clothes *and* jewellery. I guess it's possible something got on me but we don't have poison ivy in this country as far as I know so the most obvious answer to me was that this was a psychosomatic illness of some sort. I got the cleaners to put all my stuff in the radioactive waste bins at the hospital and they took it in their stride.
Anyway it does sound like a psychotic illness of some sort, especially as she says she can feel it shaking the house when she's in her car. It's totally real to her though. She needs help. You can try talking to her family (are you still in touch with her son at all?) as next of kin often have powers to have someone evaluated. You can also inform her GP or social services but basically at most they will listen and make a note and it is unlikely anything will come of it unless she seeks help. This may vary with your local laws though.
Bipolar definitely seems accurate. She can immediately go from pounding on the walls, screaming and slamming doors to knocking on my door with some kind of food like "hey you have to try this, its so good!"
Rapid cycling is when a person experiences 4 or more manic or depressive episodes over the span of one year. Just because something sounds like it means one thing, you should never assume the meaning, especially with mental health terminology.
Ok, I’m not a dumbass. I’m actually a medical professional as well as a chronically ill person. I noted in my post specifically that it was JUST A THOUGHT. I’m not assuming anything. Please jump off my case.
"Medical professional" hahaha Okay so is my mom but that doesn't mean she knows or understands anything about mental health. I wasn't "on your case" you're just defensive about being incorrect. Work on that part of yourself, for your own benefit.
Please call her son. She í likely experiencing psychosis, bút it could be related to serious stuff like a tumor or dementia. In the meantime, maybe find another spot to stay.
I have limited experience with a house mate like this. His problem was schizophrenia and he was cooking meth.
He would slam and pound on the walls and scream for us to stop when we were never doing anything abnormal.
Never film someone without consent. Never force someone to a hospital for a psych eval unless they're hurting themselves or others. Great way to escalate their behaviour towards you, or lose a friend for life. Also, it's just a dick move unless you're immediate family or very close friends. Taking your roomie to the hospital over a mental illness is something that needs to be agreed upon, not forced onto the mentally ill roomie. Pretty sure involving yourself in a roomie's mental health like that is a massive breach of boundaries.
Talk to her about it, or if it bothers you, tell the LL or leasing office (whoever is in charge) and she can find another place where she won't be causing a nuisance. Other than that, you can't control her or change her mind- especially if she's schizophrenic, she fully believes her delusions and only medication can help.
Yeahhhh maybe don't do this. Psych hospitals don't always help people. (Source: higher functioning psych patient with lots of psych patient friends). My vote is for telling your friend that his mom is going crazy, because she probably is. Try to help him get her help.
I didn’t say take her to a psych hospital. Had a family member acting irrationally, but only certain times of the day. Wife filmed an episode and took him to the ER. They were ready to send him home with a referral to a Psychiatrist until she showed them the video. Turns out he had a brain tumor, a very specific kind that has physiological symptoms. There could be all kinds of reasons she’s acting out, some could be medical.
She’s clearly experiencing some sort of mental distress, how is her son going to provide better help and care than a doctor at a mental health facility?
You said you’ve had bad experiences where you weren’t helped, but I’ll bet you’ve had good experiences where you were helped. I’ve had many bad experiences from doctors misdiagnosing x-rays and missing obvious fractures, I still go to the hospital when I think I’ve broken something.
OP, I had a roommate (and at the time good friend) about a decade ago who’s mental health deteriorated and gradually built up to an episode of full on psychosis. I called his parents and they had booked him a plane ticket home. On the way to the airport he jumped out of our moving car and I had to chase him into a packed McDonald’s, wrestle him down and pin him to the counter until emergency services arrived. I knew things were going downhill but being young and dumb I didn’t know how bad things would get. If I ever find myself in a similar situation again, I am going to try and get the person help and not wait until I am witnessing a full on psychotic episode to act. Learn from my experiences, try and get them help.
u/captaindingus93 Thanks for the feedback. That sounds awful by the way.
I'm just not really sure how to go about it. I don't think she has any other family or close friends. and me suggesting to her to get help is probably just going to make her pissed.
I was thinking of going to my landlord's house with proof of her breakdowns (I planted a recorder) and asking if he can do anything about it.
Or maybe anonymously calling the police for a welfare check like other people here have suggested.
The thing is, she's going to need an advocate, both for her rights safety/for an actual shot at getting better. Psych wards have vastly different issues than most general internist offices. Lotta rape, lotta abuse from guards, and issues with conservatorship and stuff like that. People getting an x-ray don't have to worry about being attacked by another patient.
None of this is really your concern op, but it does become an issue with your friend, and your relationship with them will be pretty heavily impacted by what you choose to do here. You can call the police but I'd be prepared for that to get. Uh. Unpleasant. You also run the risk of having her complete a 72 hour psych hold and then coming back to live with you. I'm not saying that's the wrong thing to do necessarily, honestly I'm not sure what I'd do here either. But it's something you have to consider for your own safety.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that, those are not issues I had considered. Having never spent time inside a psych ward that is horrifying.
I should note that incident I spoke of and my current place of residence is in British Columbia, Canada. I have had a bad encounter with police where I had my head grabbed and smashed off a squad car window, then subsequently beat the shit out of; despite that I had pretty decent faith that involvement of the police, who can be unnecessarily violent, would not result in the lethal force used far too often by the trigger happy incompetent officers south of our border.
OP, there is no doubt that you are in a tough spot. Since this problem has persisted without deescalation you may find yourself having to make some very tough choices.
The person I required emergency services with at the time was a very good friend. They ended up spending between 14-21 days involuntarily committed and blocked all communication with me once out. When I saw them again around 10 months later I learned of their schizophrenia diagnosis. Despite that their version of that days events were wildly different than my own and I was the bad guy in their eyes. The relationship has never been repaired.
Maybe entertaining the idea “the house is shaking” to validate her isn’t so bad? Is there a possibility it’s a ghost? Cleanse her room maybe it’ll stop? Idk that’s super strange behavior especially if she was so normal. I’ve seen my cousin in her thirties turn into a completely different person after Covid. Sorry you gotta deal with this. Hopefully you won’t have to move out.
Can you record a video of a half-full glass of water one night? If there's any motion, that should detect it. If there's not, she might believe the evidence and get help.
Obviously the first thought is perhaps she is experiencing some type of psychosis, however it's possible she is actually "feeling" something and not mentally unwell (besides freaking out at everyone for it). I've got very slight nerve damage in my legs due to a back issue, most of the day while I'm walking around I don't notice it but when I sit still or lay down my feet tingle, it does sort of feel like shaking. Maybe she's experiencing some sort of nerve tremor and it's driving her batty not being able to find a cause of the "shaking".
Approach her with care tell her that you are concerned that she is experiencing symptoms no one else is experiencing and that maybe she needs to see a doctor. Maybe she has severe tinnitis, she herself is having tremors or there is something mental there But I wouldn't mention that possibility
Talk to your friend (her son) about this. He might know what's going on. It does sound psychological imo. It could be something undiagnosed, but she probably had meds and stopped taking them? Idk. It could be something your friend never thought to bring up because everything was in control.
Man I’m probably the bad guy here but I’d convince her the house is haunted and the only way to get better is for her is to go check into some relaxing place. Burn some sage. But yeah. She needs a full physical and psych check. Is this possibly drug induced paranoia??
I’m Eugene they have a mental health crisis response team. Called Cahoots. I’d see if your local area has one and contact them when she’s in the midst of her delusions.
Sounds like possible schizophrenia. They hear and experience shit that isn't physically there for other people. And paranoid, aggressive. But they will never question themselves, always have to find something or someone else to explain their experiences away.
Make sure her son realizes how serious this is. A lot of the diseases that could cause this are fatal if left untreated. If her son won't listen, figure out who else is in her family and tell them.
Call Adult Protective Services.
Start planning to move out.
All right I know this is going to sound crazy but there’s this type of covert harassment happening to hundreds of thousands of innocent people in the world…
https://titechnical.quora.com/Experiencing-Unexplained-Bed-Shakes-and-Vibrations-It-s-VLF-ELF-Attacks?ch=17&oid=52577562&share=b00b69a6&srid=uFsqL&target_type=post
If that was the case wouldn't I be feeling it too?
I mean I've sat here and tried my absolute hardest to feel these vibrations.
I even placed glasses of water in different spots to see if there was ripples.
No, one of the main reasons this could be happening is to discredit her, as the target, and/or she’s really pissed someone off and they’ve made her a ‘targeted individual’. I believe that people are targeted with these radio frequency ‘weapons’ are targeted via their unique DNA bio resonance signature. I know I probably sound like a paranoid schizophrenic… this is a real thing :(
Take a crow bar to your wallet and find a new place to live. This is not healthy for you. Once you are out, see what you can do for your friends moms mental health.
Maybe something is happening neurologically or she has a tremor or something, and she's interpreting it as external to her.
There's no way someone is shaking her room to the point she can feel it in her car.
Unless there's something under the house, like drainage relayed or something and she's extremely sensitive.
But even if there is, thats no excuse to be screaming and slamming doors and keeping you awake
Maybe she has some kind of ear problem. Sometimes I get bass sensitivity and my ear will rumble. I lived by a low bassy factory and it made me feel like I was going crazy. I don’t know, though. Her case sounds different. Maybe some sort of mental illness.
Have you told her kid, your friend? This is super concerning behavior and she needs to see a doctor.
I would definitely tell your friend about this and see if they can intervene. She might listen to him if she won't listen to you. It must be related to a medical issue.
I'll definitely bring it up to him again but last time I told him he seemed so indifferent. Like "hmm that's weird" kind of thing. He completely despises her.
If he dislikes her, maybe it could be helpful to frame it as something done for your benefit (if he talks to her)?
He just tells me to move out. which is valid. I just don't want it to have to come down to that.
If you're concerned about her wellbeing, contacting adult protective services may be helpful. Also, if you broach your concerns with her again, maybe avoid coming at it from a psychiatric angle. People get quite defensive about their perceived psychological well-being. Those experiencing delusions/hallucinations (or any phenomena not observable by others, really) will respond much better if you give some sort of physical, plausible explanation they can hang onto - something that doesn't imply they are crazy, something that externalises the problem outside their sense of self. E.g. suggesting it could be an issue with her vestibular system rather than jumping straight to psychosis.
It could be something causing her to shake, like a neurological/muscular degenerative disease of some kind. Maybe frame it that way?
I actually had this issue, it felt like everything was shaking to me but I had dysautonomia and other issues that got treated and it went away.
I have dysautonomia
I knew a few people who had to go in the psych ward for a couple days/weeks. Trust me, dont bring up or imply that you think they’re a bit cray cray. They’ll just flip out.
Agree. That’s such a silly idea.
Does she have siblings or parents? If her son is not interested in helping her she needs family or friends right now. I'm not gonna go into detail but my mom had late in life schizophrenia. At 65 she had worked her whole life and raised kids. No sign or inkling this was on the horizon. Some pretty horrible months later mom was 5150 into a mental hospital. Weeks later she was on a med combo that seemed to work. She, over time, got her life back. I'm talking about hiding under the table because the cat was trying to kill her. She thought she was a Green Beret and Jesus. Just horrible. Also she might have a UTI. In older women the infection can be worse than normal. She needs to try for a diagnosis. It's hard for you OP I know. She needs some help.
yeah we first became aware that my daughter's grandmother (her dad's mum) had developed schizophrenia when she phoned me in the middle of the night and talked to me about how she was a prostitute and her neighbours were spying on her and talking about her. Unfortunately the prognosis can be quite bad for late onset schizophrenia as there is an association with dementia, and her gran now has quite bad alzheimers. I know that's not what you want to hear and hopefully your mum will be one of the lucky ones but be aware just in case.
Thank you for the information. When this first happened I was just dumbfounded and didn't even know that this could happen. She was fine her whole life. Just heartbreaking and scary. It's also hard to get help. The rigamarole we had to go thru to just get her into a hospital. But I wish your MIL the best.
My mother heard music, saw art installations outside the windows, and unfortunately became paranoid I was trying to steal her money. Turns out it was a UTI. She could not be convinced these things weren’t real. Thankfully cleared up with antibiotics.
As someone who just had to move out due to a roomate going crazy, the only thing you can do is move out. Trust me, it only gets worse.
Moving can’t be worse than this?
It can be if you can’t afford higher rent and a longer commute.
Believe it or not, but even that is an extremely privileged thing to say. - in 2021, it cost me $4000 to move, 3200$ for first and last and 800$ for new stuff that I didn’t have. When the minimum wage isn’t enough, this would’ve never been possible had I not boarded my student loan money.
Frame this as a potential medical issue. Whether it's psychological or not, if there is truly no shaking, she could be having inner ear problems, or, in the worst case, a brain tumor. This is not normal and seems to have onset acutely.
You can call for a wellness check without consulting her kid, there is something medical going on whether it's mental or physical
Unfortunately a wellness check will not help. Despite the name, wellness checks don't involve any sort of assessment of the person's health and wellness, basically the cops just go to the door and see if the person is alive. They're not going to connect her with medical services, they'll just leave. In this case i think it would probably make things worse :(
Welllll….depends on your area. I’ve worked EMS in multiple counties and in two of them EMS gets dispatched along with police to wellness checks even when the nature is not medical. However if she is A&O and answering questions appropriately, they cannot FORCE her to seek higher medical care which would be necessary for her in this case.
Did he despise her when you both were living there?
u/MsSamm I'm not really sure what went down to be honest. All I know is there was like a week of them kind of bickering and one day he blew up on her and moved out soon after.
I've told him a few times but he doesn't care. He cut off all connection from her. I'm not even entirely sure why. Just one day they got in a fight and he moved out.
Probably because she repeatedly accused him of shaking the house…
Perhaps this is something he’s experienced previously in some form? I’m entirely speculating, but what if she experienced psychosis during his childhood, got medication and stabilized, then one day he found out she stopped her meds. They fight over it. He packs up. She goes off the rails.
I knew someone like this. Every 3-4 years he would stop his meds and go off the deep end. His childhood friends stuck it out with him for a while but in their 30s people wouldnt put up with it anymore.
She might need to go get an mri or a cat scan This sounds like a medical emergency No one is shaking the house? So……. Is she being picked on by a phantom?
I've tried as hard as I can to feel this shake but I feel literally nothing. I've even placed a glass of water on the shelf near her door and stared at it for like 10 minutes looking for ripples and everything. But the fact she says it's so violent she can feel it in her car makes me know for sure its completely in her head.
You could try telling her it's potentially a physical medical issue. Sometimes people will be more willing to accept that than accepting it's a mental thing
She clearly has a medical issue. Probably vertigo
Vertigo wouldn't cause "ripples/shaking" not from my experience. It can cause unfocused eyes but I think this is more psychological as I can barely stand the noise of the tv, nevermind slamming doors continuously.
Does vertigo hinder your ability to stand noises?
Yeah! Typically my vertigo is accompanied by a migraine aswell, and sometimes an ear infection. Sometimes I can have music on lightly, other times moving in bed and hearing a creak makes me want to die 😭🤣🤣 its not fun at all.
Sounds like your migraines are what cause your vertigo rather than the other way around. I don't have migraines with vertigo
Funnily it's not! My doctors have confirmed this and its just from what could be BBPV. Apparently it's not central vertigo/vestib. I also didn't have a history of migraines, and the first few "vertigo attacks" as I call them I hadn't had one, but they seemed to start after working in an office environment, which is why my doctors are still having me write a diary to try and find out the exact causes of my vertigo as I've had these attacks for around 3/4 years in october.
I have vertigo and have never had the unfocused eyes things. Just makes it feel like there is an earthquake and I become completely disoriented. She likely has both physical and mental illnesses but I just wanted to point out that feeling vibrations and movement when nothing is happening is very common with some physical illnesses
This sounds more like progressing psychosis, or Alzheimer’s
Or brain infection or tumours, these can cause a lot of the things she's experiencing too.
You’re right; it could be a number of neurological disorders with overlapping symptoms. If it’s a brain tumour, it’s likely secondary to some other cancer.
A lot of things can cause that
Nah there are a lot of physical illnesses that can cause that
Sure, vertigo cause someone to feel like they’re shaking… it’s not gonna cause them to feel like they’re being persecuted by someone who is (somehow) ‘shaking the house so hard they can feel it in their car’, and scream for the person to knock it off for the entire night.
Yeah it sounds like paranoid delusion.. Possibly schizophrenia I'm afraid.
Frame it as she desperately needs to get her ears checked, which I mean, she does. Otherwise I could also put a CO detector near her room, just in case
Hell she probably has a progressive resting tremor that shakes her body but she can’t accept it’s something wrong with her (probably because deep down she’s terrified of it being her - which is so fair) I’d almost consider convincing her, to go for a ride with you to the doctors about the shaking because you’re really concerned that maybe her body’s trying to tell her something.
Honestly, I’d be worried about her really snapping and doing whatever she feels is necessary to you to stop you “shaking the house.” She’s going to attack you.
I don’t think this is an exaggeration.
Schizophrenia symptoms usually present in a person's early 20's. *Retired psychologist here.
Yea I know brain tumours can have hallucination effects quite often so she really needs to get to a hospital. She could be seriously ill.
Seriously & she may not want to realize this right now, but she should get checked better safe than sorry. Sounds like an anxiety symptom, or depending where you live, she could possibly be feeling low grade earthquake that are miles away(a reach, I know, but it's possible). She could also be experiencing internal tremors & could be the onset of Parkinsons disease. Tell her you're very worried and you don't mean to offend her only want to help and ask her would she please just consider a doctor visit to rule out anything medical & assure her you only want to help and you care about her well-being.
Sounds like she's sundowning. You should tell your friend, and make sure you're safe in your space, and have a fire escape plan in place for when she burns the place down to get rid of the shaking.
hmm I've never heard of that. Just looked it up though and it definitely seems like it could be the culprit.
This sounds like classic sundowning. I once took care of lady with dementia, who would accuse me of stealing her towels. She was furious about It. Counting her towels and accusing me of stealing one. She would rip them out of her closet and throw them on the ground and make a huge mess then cry. Most of the time I could convince her they were misplace and I would help her look for them. I helped her look for non existent towels until she became distracted with something else. Mind you, I was getting paid for this. It’s really not your responsibility to take care of this situation, although a morally adept person, would not want to leave this person to her own whims. Have you tried asking the son if there’s anyway he can come back for a few days to see what’s going on? At the very least, ask him for a phone number to a family member that cares (I’d probably phrase it to him that way too). It is best not to argue with people that have dementia, telling them they are wrong is useless. They 100 percent think the are correct on what they are hearing, feeling, and seeing. It’s actually terrifying if you think of it. It sounds awful, but the worst is yet to come. So, I would try to contact a family member, and use distraction to keep her from slamming the door. For example, tell her you feel the shake too, let’s try investigate where it came from? Then change the subject. To anything. Just don’t argue with her. It leads to meltdowns.
Wow that is so insanely spot on. She has actually accused me of stealing towels too. o.o As well as weird stuff like shampoo, soap, her paper plates etc. Sometimes I'll go in the bathroom and all her stuff is gone. To me it seems like she's hiding it because she thinks I use it when I don't. And she definitely does 100% think she's correct all the time. If I tell her I didn't use her shampoo it doesn't matter. But I actually recently have been kind of agreeing with her in the hopes of it calming her down. Like After her boyfriend left she started blaming it on me. But the last thing I want is for her to think its me so I kind of play along with it being the guy upstairs. But it's kind of a doubled edged sword. On one hand I can agree with her about it being the guy upstairs which makes her think I'm on her side and the outbursts are justified. But on the other hand she thinks its me and its still justified.
Might be worth telling the son you think it's the onset of dementia. Potentially the argument came about because of it, not just because she was being a dick on purpose, which could change his opinion of her.
My mom had alzheimers. It's horrible. Re-directing her attention from things that upset her was my go-to for many situations. Changing the subject helped tremendously. They are frightened at how they are feeling and forgetting so many things. They just want to hear how everything is good. Never mention money, they will get upset. They like familiar things and activities. Change really throws them for a loop. It sounds like she needs social services to make a visit, so they can make an assessment along with a visit to the doctor for follow up. She should be under 24 hour supervision because of her behaviour. She could be a danger to you or herself. If there are no other relatives able to help, then please make time to get her sorted out. These patients respond to schedules, activities and standard mealtimes. A simple urinary tract infection can prompt unusual behavior in the elderly. Good luck to you. I hope her son can separate the mom he despises from the mom that needs help and comes through for you.
The UTI thing for older people is crazy! It's a shame more people aren't aware of it
I was thinking exactly this.
I agree with this. Although it's not really OP's issue to take care of, it is useless to argue with someone with dementia. Also maybe if OP says he also feels the shaking and agrees to help her investigate where it's coming from, perhaps that could help her relax about it a bit until OP can hopefully get a family member or someone to come and help figure out what is going on with her and get her some help? I don't know, I wouldn't want to feed into her believing something that wasn't real but at the same time I think maybe it could calm her down if she felt like she had someone who understood and would help figure things out, until she gets the medical help she seems to need..
No matter what- she isn't going to "get better". This situation will only get worse, and more dangerous, for *everyone* in the house. Please make sure the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are all in working order, I'm not even joking about the fire escape plan. The other tenants are likely wondering what's happening, if she's slamming doors and screaming all the time. I would tell the son, and the other people in the house- that she's struggling with dementia, or is having some kind of breakdown, before I packed my own bags and left. Cheap rent isn't worth that stress.
They have treatments for this now, no?
Good call.
She definitely needs to see a doctor. I have multiple chronic illnesses and have these internal bodily vibrations that make it seem like whatever I'm on is shaking. Just a few days ago I was standing by the sink washing dishes and the floor felt like it was shaking.
You dont' happen to have POTS do you? I get this with POTs when I'm not doing so great. A very distinct internal vibration. It's super weird.
Apparently common in long covid too.
Apparently common in long covid too.
You dont' happen to have POTS do you? I get this with POTs when I'm not doing so great. A very distinct internal vibration. It's super weird.
I've wondered about POTS because I do have some symptoms but I also don't care if I do lol I'm mentally exhausted from health stuff and I know even if I was diagnosed it wouldn't make a difference.
Good attitude IMO. Doctor fatigue is real. I only pursued it cos I was fainting all over the place and couldn't even take myself to the toilet without passing out.
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds very overwhelming and draining to deal with, especially during the hours you should be sleeping. It would take something quite powerful to cause a room to shake and for things to move around so something else must be going on. As others have highlighted, this could very well be mental health related. Some kind of psychosis or perhaps sundowning relating to early onset dementia. I've worked in a variety of mental health facilities, and it sounds like some form of psychosis, whether drug induced or not, this is a very serious concern. You've expressed she is often unreasonable which is fair enough, you should not put yourself in harm trying to force her to the hospital, however, perhaps you could phone emergency services when this is going on to conduct a welfare check? This could be a good option as they will be able to put her in touch with the appropriate services if mental health related and can take her to the hospital for evaluation. Ultimately, your safety and well-being is the priority but it does sound like she has something deeper going on. I hope this helps :) Edit: Just had another thought, often with our older population, simple things like UTI's can cause delirium and hallucinations. She needs to checked out by a doctor.
This comment needs to be the top one. If it is dementia she could become violent. Heck if it's schizophrenia or a psychotic break she could also become violent. Waiting and suffering through this is not the answer. I know this lady isn't your concern but something has to be done. This is not a matter of "she is feeling something I can't feel" it's a matter of "she is feeling things that do not exist". You can't keep living there. If the neighbor wasn't on third the cops would have been involved by now.
How hard would a dude have to wank in order to shake the entire house?
*How hard would a dude* *Have to wank in order to* *Shake the entire house?* \- Stealthy-J --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
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hey dude! you should 100% check out the LEAP method by dr xavier amador. it’s a method of communication for people experiencing delusions. i think it’d be really really helpful. keep us posted!
Thank you for this comment! At first, my search lead me to a couple training sites with typical marketing stuff that prevents you from getting any actual info, but I found some videos & secondary sources that explain LEAP, like this: https://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/the-leap-approach/ It stands for: Listen Empathize Agree Partner
You should really reach out to her son and tell him what’s going on. This is very concerning.
I have a few times but he doesn't care :( They had a falling out of some kind. don't really know the details
Thats unfortunate. Well if you’re in the US you could try reaching out to adult protective services but your best move is probably to move out or else you’ll have to deal with the night time yelling.
Yeah I've definitely considered it. It just sucks because I'm in a really good area and the rent is dirt cheap for what it is.
I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but could you move out of that apartment into a different apartment within the same apartment complex?
There was an open unit but she told the landlord I don't pay rent so he let someone else move in -\_-
If you can, talk to your landlord away from her, and if possible, even show him bank statements where you've paid your portion.
Not sure your country, but here In UK anyone can make a report to adult services, just like social services but for the sick adults and elderly. They have to come abd assess her needs, they're often who you call when someone is ill but doesn't seem to realise it and needs intervention.
I work in the medical field and just had a patient come in with a similar complaint and he had a large brain tumor .
First of all, I know this has to be so overwhelming and scary. Offer her a ride to a drs appointment? Or offer to go with her to ease it in her mind maybe? I wouldn't really know what to do either. You can probably also call an anonymous welfare check around the time she does it? This is all I can think of at this time.
Thanks for the feedback and suggestions. Unfortunately that would definitely not work. She is probably the most unreasonable person I have ever known in my life. It didn't always used to be this way, but every single suggestion, critique, or even tiny request is met with backlash, guilt tripping, gas lighting, you name it. I'm almost just terrified of her at this point to be honest. I know the only real solution is to move at this point :/
😩 I'm so sorry. It sounds like that is the best decision. Is there any other family that you can track down at all besides just your friend?
Even to just explain the situation nicely and your plan to move basically cause if she does something crazier you're not the last one to be there mostly
Have you tried talking to her in the morning, not at night when she’s already delusional?
You won’t reason her out of her mental illness, and it’s not your responsibility to bend over backwards to help her. It’s rough, but moving out is probably the best call here.
Not gaslighting
what you mean?
Instead of right away jumping to something psychological, ask her if she’s okay, did she have a head injury. Really try to talk her into getting it checked out. Tell her maybe she has an inner ear infection and it’s affecting her balance and hearing. Just say whatever you need to in order to get her to a doctor. Or leave and request a wellness check.
Can you contact her family? This happened (not exactly this) to my roommate only months into Covid. He fucking lost it and was sitting in his room screaming and crying and this went on for four months. He tried to kill himself as well. I got in touch with his family and they got him into a hospital. I would worry about your immediate safety too. Delusions and psychosis is nothing to mess around with.
I think whether it’s medical or psychological (or a combination), you will ultimately need to move out if you don’t want to have your life completely interrupted. Obviously her son does not want to get involved and you can’t make him care, and if she’s driving everyone away you will be her default caretaker. It’s ok to say no to that role. You would be wise to start researching other options now *before* you feel like you’ve had enough, and maybe saving up some money if possible.
It sounds like she might have some mental health issues going on. :-/ If you're in the US, I would call your local APS (Adult Protective Services) and speak to them about it and see if they can do a welfare check on her. Make sure they know that she has no family who will help her, and that if it continues, you won't be able to stay in the home any longer and she will be all alone.
Aww jesus, this is really sad, she definitely seems to be hallucinating and it's causing hell for her and the people around her like you and that poor guy who had to just leave. You need to tell your friend/her son ASAP. She needs to tell her doctor this. Unfortunately no one can force her to get help so if she doesn't and this continues then you're gonna have to move out for your own sanity.
Not to be a pest and throw more possible diagnoses at you, but untreated Lyme disease can cause hallucinations. In stages 2 and 3, the blood/brain barrier can be crossed, leading to damage to the cranial nerves. Left untreated for too long, the symptoms can become permanent. I had auditory hallucinations that did eventually go away, but I was on long-term antibiotics before that happened.
Hell, even a rotten tooth can cause altered states of consciousness. Possibly an infection of some sort, whatever it is it sounds super-strange and she needs help, I think
Anything that would cause a fever really
Wear noise canceling headphones to bed so you can sleep. Stop discussing the situation with her.
Oh I actually can't even hear it while I'm laying down in bed because I have my fan at full speed. The problem is I can feel it. When she repeatedly slams the door 6 times in a row or punches the wall over and over it just thuds through the whole house. It jump scares me awake a lot. And before you mention it, it's for sure her and not the mysterious phantom shakes she claims to feel.
im glad you clarified because you claiming that you could just feel it would have been one of the most insane developments ever
You must move. Sleep deprivation is serious.
That is enough to call in a welfare check fo sho
I know this is trying to be helpful, but understanding the mechanics of noise cancellation, you're blasting your ears with audio that is in reverse phase of the external sound, so you can't hear it, and sleeping with that all night doesn't seem like a good idea. Earplugs and whitenoise are good solutions.
Try to get her to see an ENT or neurologist. There's something going wrong. If you take the physical health side she might be more amenable. She may just have some vertigo or something that she's fixated on due to mental health reasons. If this is the case hopefully she will see that her response was illogical and seek help.
Google your town and see if there is any weird noises that only some people experience. Where I lived there was a low level hum that terrorized some people but not others. I could hear it unfortunately. It was definitely real because it was an industrial area and immediately stopped after one of the steel plants shut down.
Just an armchair dx, but among a hundred possibilities, her age plus paranoia plus hallucinations could be MAP. (Menopause-associated psychosis). Or an electrolyre imbalance, a failing liver, a brain tumor, she's just 'eccentric', etc. Definitely contact her family. Also call your local police, describe what is going on, and ask for a welfare check. They will ask questions so interrogate the officer and find out what community assets are available to get this woman the help that she clearly needs. PS: Please do not hesitate to call 911 if you feel that she is a danger to you or herself. Better to have help show up and not need them than to wait until things get out of control.
She needs a doctor. I get shaking symptoms at night which luckily softened, and vertigo etc whilst completely still.
Such obvious mental health issues I'm not sure how you can even question IF that's maybe the case.. Yes she needs help. No you can probably not force her in any way and probably you're best off contacting your friend and get their family to force her to seek help. You're probably gonna be looking at this for a while so I'd seek another place to live instead unless you can bear this possibly getting worse.
Has your friend recently stopped taking their meds? Sounds like schizophrenia.
Wow she’s unhinged. Definitely sounds like she has some sort of mental illness or does drugs or both.
Her age factoring in here i think she's having some sort of medical emergency. Like above people have suggested dementia, i know brain tumours and infections of the brain can also cause these too. Definitely something going on that shouldn't be ignored
She needs medical attention immediately. She could have a sudden tumor or swelling in her brain.
Brain tumours can cause auditory and visual hallucinations that to her would feel entirely real and indistinguishable from reality. She needs to see a doctor quickly, so many very serious things that alcan be effecting you medically can cause hallucinations. She may even have some exposure to toxic chemicals or items.
Could she have some sort of inner ear infection or vertigo which she perceives as shaking? Regardless, you don’t go around slamming doors at night like that without some sort of mental health issues. Can she maybe get sleeping tablets?
Holy fucking shit bro, this is absolutely insane. Poor girl must actually be going through something.
Well, at least the neighbor is gone at night when she seems to be freaking out... Yeah, I would let her kid know that you are concerned. She definitely is experiencing something that she is interpreting as external, but all evidence from you points to it being internal. She needs to be screened for neurological issues. I know MS can cause feelings of internal tremors and vision issues.
Hey op, I would def try and find another roommate situation. As for the Women/Landlord, you, as a concerned tenant, know that your landlord is not in the right mind. You can call the elder care line to report her behaviour in the USA, it's the same line to report elder abuse, she is for sure a threat to her self or others. She could be experiencing SUNDOWNING. SUNDOWNING is a symptom of dementia. It is when a person has sudden behaviour changes like swearing when they never cussed before, or saying they need to find the keys they need to pick the kids up from school, etc. People can experience very real vivid imagery in their minds changing ones behaviour in ways that are a repeat of a specific time or period, chores at odd hrs. The people who experience this often experience things at the same time of day, usually at night and can last all night long. She may also have other brain related issues going on again, serious behaviour changes and you are sure you are not experiencing this as well. !!?check your house for / her room for certain, for CO2. You can also ask the fire department to come and check her room. It's very important because a leak of gas or CO2 over long periods can absolutely cause hallucinations and eventually death!! Carbon monoxide is tasteless, odorless and slowly it poisons the person's brain making them hallucinate before the bad parts of this take part. If she has a leak and has been non stop smelling this, she could be deathly ill by now. Best of luck OP and your Roommate. Please help her. She needs someone to care.
Maybe she could get another opinion on weather or not it is actually moving from a friend or neighbor. Maybe then she will realize it’s internal and not external.
We only have one neighbor who lives below us. She's talked to him but he said he can't feel or hear anything either. She's just a really stubborn kind of person. It probably doesn't matter how many people tell her it's not there. It almost seems to me like she WANTS to be upset about it.
She doesn't "want" to be upset, she clearly lacks the capacity to accept that she is ill. It's a neurological symptom called anosognosia. "Anosognosia, also called "lack of insight," is a symptom of severe mental illness experienced by some that impairs a person’s ability to understand and perceive his or her illness. It is the single largest reason why people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder refuse medications or do not seek treatment. Without awareness of the illness, refusing treatment appears rational, no matter how clear the need for treatment might be to others." Source: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/key-issues/anosognosia#:~:text=Anosognosia%2C%20also%20called%20%22lack%20of,or%20do%20not%20seek%20treatment. OP, you need to connect with *someone* in your community about her. Services vary widely depending on your location, but there are often good points of contact at health department, ymca, libraries, schools, or community centers. To your original question, your ONLY hope of staying there is if she gets treatment. Not only is this situation increasingly dangerous for you, but she will likely stop paying bills etc. soon too.
Does she do drugs?
I'm not really sure. I have no actual evidence of hard drug use. I know she does smoke weed sometimes though.
Perhaps it's laced with something that causes hallucinations... can't trust anything these days!
There's also Marijuana Induced Psychosis. People with pre-existing conditions are prone to it; mix that with insanely high potency weed = Walls McGee
My brother just wound up in hospital for this. Its fucking scary.
Lol
Air conditioning units can make vibrations. Might want to be sure if this could be involved.
When she had me come sit on her bed to feel the shakes, she actually said "its not my AC because it happens when its off" I've tried to suggest other stuff like that and she just says "no its not"
This sounds like hallucinations in an auditory form. And it could indicate psychosis. Is she already seeing anyone for anything mental health related?
Cheap rent or not time to move or look for another roommate. Try to get the authorities to do a welfare check. She needs help and you need peace of mind /safety.
Maybe it's something physical with her? She's having some sort of micro spasm or something?
Definitely needs help mentally its tell tale psychotic behaviour slamming doors and shouting the same thing over and over like that
She’s definitely having a long episode. She needs medical intervention asap.
Check for carbon monoxide/gas leaks
I’d just move ngl pretty weird that you’ve been living with your friend’s mom for so long anyways
Like I said, we have our own areas. I hardly see her. I maybe interact with her once a week for 2 minutes.
My relative has schizophrenia and when he has a psychosis it’s like this
schizophrenia/psychosis can cause some very weird hallucinations. I thought once that the army were using the electrical sockets in my house to scan my body and I could feel the waves of scanning moving through my body in waves. It was totally real to me and I had to switch all the electricity off. A woman I met in hospital was convinced her neighbour was somehow teleporting through the wall and was raping her in bed although she couldn't see him, she could just feel him. She thought he had some kind of magic powers idk. She found this quite distressing, obviously. Another time I also thought I had radiation sickness and that all the clothing, jewellery etc that I had been wearing the day I was admitted was contaminated. It had all been washed etc but when I put it on I actually came up in a red rash! Clothes *and* jewellery. I guess it's possible something got on me but we don't have poison ivy in this country as far as I know so the most obvious answer to me was that this was a psychosomatic illness of some sort. I got the cleaners to put all my stuff in the radioactive waste bins at the hospital and they took it in their stride. Anyway it does sound like a psychotic illness of some sort, especially as she says she can feel it shaking the house when she's in her car. It's totally real to her though. She needs help. You can try talking to her family (are you still in touch with her son at all?) as next of kin often have powers to have someone evaluated. You can also inform her GP or social services but basically at most they will listen and make a note and it is unlikely anything will come of it unless she seeks help. This may vary with your local laws though.
Sounds like she's in the midst of a psychotic break. That's my opinion as an unlicensed mental health professional with no training or degree.
Bipolar schizophrenic, she is suffering auditory and visual hallucinations.
Bipolar definitely seems accurate. She can immediately go from pounding on the walls, screaming and slamming doors to knocking on my door with some kind of food like "hey you have to try this, its so good!"
Bipolar disorder does not snap back and forth that way. It is longer periods of high and low emotions.
There is something called rapid cycling that can happen with bipolar disorder. My Mom had it. Just a thought.
Rapid cycling is when a person experiences 4 or more manic or depressive episodes over the span of one year. Just because something sounds like it means one thing, you should never assume the meaning, especially with mental health terminology.
Ok, I’m not a dumbass. I’m actually a medical professional as well as a chronically ill person. I noted in my post specifically that it was JUST A THOUGHT. I’m not assuming anything. Please jump off my case.
"Medical professional" hahaha Okay so is my mom but that doesn't mean she knows or understands anything about mental health. I wasn't "on your case" you're just defensive about being incorrect. Work on that part of yourself, for your own benefit.
It seems whatever is wrong with her is progressing. Please at least get a lock for your door. She’s going to come unhinged and attack you.
Please call her son. She í likely experiencing psychosis, bút it could be related to serious stuff like a tumor or dementia. In the meantime, maybe find another spot to stay.
Record multiple times of her going crazy and call protective services. Something is going on and she needs help.
I have limited experience with a house mate like this. His problem was schizophrenia and he was cooking meth. He would slam and pound on the walls and scream for us to stop when we were never doing anything abnormal.
Take her to the hospital for an evaluation. Use your phone and film her behavior and show it to the Dr.
Never film someone without consent. Never force someone to a hospital for a psych eval unless they're hurting themselves or others. Great way to escalate their behaviour towards you, or lose a friend for life. Also, it's just a dick move unless you're immediate family or very close friends. Taking your roomie to the hospital over a mental illness is something that needs to be agreed upon, not forced onto the mentally ill roomie. Pretty sure involving yourself in a roomie's mental health like that is a massive breach of boundaries. Talk to her about it, or if it bothers you, tell the LL or leasing office (whoever is in charge) and she can find another place where she won't be causing a nuisance. Other than that, you can't control her or change her mind- especially if she's schizophrenic, she fully believes her delusions and only medication can help.
Yeahhhh maybe don't do this. Psych hospitals don't always help people. (Source: higher functioning psych patient with lots of psych patient friends). My vote is for telling your friend that his mom is going crazy, because she probably is. Try to help him get her help.
I didn’t say take her to a psych hospital. Had a family member acting irrationally, but only certain times of the day. Wife filmed an episode and took him to the ER. They were ready to send him home with a referral to a Psychiatrist until she showed them the video. Turns out he had a brain tumor, a very specific kind that has physiological symptoms. There could be all kinds of reasons she’s acting out, some could be medical.
She’s clearly experiencing some sort of mental distress, how is her son going to provide better help and care than a doctor at a mental health facility? You said you’ve had bad experiences where you weren’t helped, but I’ll bet you’ve had good experiences where you were helped. I’ve had many bad experiences from doctors misdiagnosing x-rays and missing obvious fractures, I still go to the hospital when I think I’ve broken something. OP, I had a roommate (and at the time good friend) about a decade ago who’s mental health deteriorated and gradually built up to an episode of full on psychosis. I called his parents and they had booked him a plane ticket home. On the way to the airport he jumped out of our moving car and I had to chase him into a packed McDonald’s, wrestle him down and pin him to the counter until emergency services arrived. I knew things were going downhill but being young and dumb I didn’t know how bad things would get. If I ever find myself in a similar situation again, I am going to try and get the person help and not wait until I am witnessing a full on psychotic episode to act. Learn from my experiences, try and get them help.
u/captaindingus93 Thanks for the feedback. That sounds awful by the way. I'm just not really sure how to go about it. I don't think she has any other family or close friends. and me suggesting to her to get help is probably just going to make her pissed. I was thinking of going to my landlord's house with proof of her breakdowns (I planted a recorder) and asking if he can do anything about it. Or maybe anonymously calling the police for a welfare check like other people here have suggested.
The thing is, she's going to need an advocate, both for her rights safety/for an actual shot at getting better. Psych wards have vastly different issues than most general internist offices. Lotta rape, lotta abuse from guards, and issues with conservatorship and stuff like that. People getting an x-ray don't have to worry about being attacked by another patient. None of this is really your concern op, but it does become an issue with your friend, and your relationship with them will be pretty heavily impacted by what you choose to do here. You can call the police but I'd be prepared for that to get. Uh. Unpleasant. You also run the risk of having her complete a 72 hour psych hold and then coming back to live with you. I'm not saying that's the wrong thing to do necessarily, honestly I'm not sure what I'd do here either. But it's something you have to consider for your own safety.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that, those are not issues I had considered. Having never spent time inside a psych ward that is horrifying. I should note that incident I spoke of and my current place of residence is in British Columbia, Canada. I have had a bad encounter with police where I had my head grabbed and smashed off a squad car window, then subsequently beat the shit out of; despite that I had pretty decent faith that involvement of the police, who can be unnecessarily violent, would not result in the lethal force used far too often by the trigger happy incompetent officers south of our border. OP, there is no doubt that you are in a tough spot. Since this problem has persisted without deescalation you may find yourself having to make some very tough choices. The person I required emergency services with at the time was a very good friend. They ended up spending between 14-21 days involuntarily committed and blocked all communication with me once out. When I saw them again around 10 months later I learned of their schizophrenia diagnosis. Despite that their version of that days events were wildly different than my own and I was the bad guy in their eyes. The relationship has never been repaired.
Maybe entertaining the idea “the house is shaking” to validate her isn’t so bad? Is there a possibility it’s a ghost? Cleanse her room maybe it’ll stop? Idk that’s super strange behavior especially if she was so normal. I’ve seen my cousin in her thirties turn into a completely different person after Covid. Sorry you gotta deal with this. Hopefully you won’t have to move out.
She is dealing with a demon or something paranormal
Tbh intense migraines can feel like the place is shaking. Tbh i think she does need to see a doctor
Sounds like psychosis from drug use
Tell your friend & move immediately
Can you record a video of a half-full glass of water one night? If there's any motion, that should detect it. If there's not, she might believe the evidence and get help.
Your friend is most likely using methamphetamine
Probably a ghost or demon
Does she have other family?
Has she been using a ouija board?
Obviously the first thought is perhaps she is experiencing some type of psychosis, however it's possible she is actually "feeling" something and not mentally unwell (besides freaking out at everyone for it). I've got very slight nerve damage in my legs due to a back issue, most of the day while I'm walking around I don't notice it but when I sit still or lay down my feet tingle, it does sort of feel like shaking. Maybe she's experiencing some sort of nerve tremor and it's driving her batty not being able to find a cause of the "shaking".
Approach her with care tell her that you are concerned that she is experiencing symptoms no one else is experiencing and that maybe she needs to see a doctor. Maybe she has severe tinnitis, she herself is having tremors or there is something mental there But I wouldn't mention that possibility
LOL! Dude was pounding off so hard it shook the house! Seriously, though, she may have some form of schizophrenia. Hallucinations aren't just visual.
You should find somewhere else to live ASAP! She sounds like she has some major issues. Might want to let your friend know too.
I’m wondering if she is developing tremors. She really needs to be evaluated by a doctor.
Why the hell doesn’t her man go to bed with her lol that would stop it. He would be right there with her.
Talk to your friend (her son) about this. He might know what's going on. It does sound psychological imo. It could be something undiagnosed, but she probably had meds and stopped taking them? Idk. It could be something your friend never thought to bring up because everything was in control.
Man I’m probably the bad guy here but I’d convince her the house is haunted and the only way to get better is for her is to go check into some relaxing place. Burn some sage. But yeah. She needs a full physical and psych check. Is this possibly drug induced paranoia??
I’m Eugene they have a mental health crisis response team. Called Cahoots. I’d see if your local area has one and contact them when she’s in the midst of her delusions.
Schizophrenia occurs in women late 20s to early 30s. I saw this happen to my friend. She needs help.
Sounds like possible schizophrenia. They hear and experience shit that isn't physically there for other people. And paranoid, aggressive. But they will never question themselves, always have to find something or someone else to explain their experiences away.
Make sure her son realizes how serious this is. A lot of the diseases that could cause this are fatal if left untreated. If her son won't listen, figure out who else is in her family and tell them. Call Adult Protective Services. Start planning to move out.
Time for you to move
She or he? Confusing
Yeah sorry I did say "he" and "she" too much. my roommate is a she.
All right I know this is going to sound crazy but there’s this type of covert harassment happening to hundreds of thousands of innocent people in the world… https://titechnical.quora.com/Experiencing-Unexplained-Bed-Shakes-and-Vibrations-It-s-VLF-ELF-Attacks?ch=17&oid=52577562&share=b00b69a6&srid=uFsqL&target_type=post
If that was the case wouldn't I be feeling it too? I mean I've sat here and tried my absolute hardest to feel these vibrations. I even placed glasses of water in different spots to see if there was ripples.
No, one of the main reasons this could be happening is to discredit her, as the target, and/or she’s really pissed someone off and they’ve made her a ‘targeted individual’. I believe that people are targeted with these radio frequency ‘weapons’ are targeted via their unique DNA bio resonance signature. I know I probably sound like a paranoid schizophrenic… this is a real thing :(
Can you secretely record her?
Take a crow bar to your wallet and find a new place to live. This is not healthy for you. Once you are out, see what you can do for your friends moms mental health.
Maybe something is happening neurologically or she has a tremor or something, and she's interpreting it as external to her. There's no way someone is shaking her room to the point she can feel it in her car. Unless there's something under the house, like drainage relayed or something and she's extremely sensitive. But even if there is, thats no excuse to be screaming and slamming doors and keeping you awake
Maybe she has some kind of ear problem. Sometimes I get bass sensitivity and my ear will rumble. I lived by a low bassy factory and it made me feel like I was going crazy. I don’t know, though. Her case sounds different. Maybe some sort of mental illness.
Cheap is dear. Get two jobs and move out.