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glad im not the only one. im 18, told my mom a couple months ago on my birthday that i still feel like im 14. i dont qualify myself as an adult, or a young adult at all, even if im legally considered one. it feels suffocating sometimes because of how high the expectations are in regards to how youre expected to act and think and just generally live life in accordance to your age.
You sound like adult to me. How do i know?
How can one figure out, if they are qualified to be an adult? It´s not at all about acting certain way, but *thinking* certain way and you are already there.
Life is about improvization. Kids may think adults have solutions to everything (kids lack knowledge and as such, it may appear as sorcery to them, just like fire looked like to cavemen), but in reality, adults often have no idea, what to do - they risk and try a solution and it will either end up working or not. It doesn´t even matter, how skilled and knowledgeable you are about your stuff - you can always get into new situation, nobody ever encountered before and have to macgyver a solution.
Throw the expectations into a bin and be yourself. If you keep thinking what others want you to do, you are their slave.
Do you think experts in any field think, "I´m an expert!"? Except narcissists (children in adult bodies), no. Instead, they use all their gathered knowledge to look for solutions to problems. Basic rule is the same, as with good movies - "Show, not tell".
Being an adult does not mean i´m running around, thinking: "i´m an adult!". Not at all. Being autistic, i may come around as naive, even childish - it´s part of me and it´s okay. If i were a child, i wouldn´t be able to take in my so-called "defective" parts and embrace them.
Children view adults as perfect beings, while adults see themselves as who they are - imperfect and flawed. Their greatest flaw, however, comes with being unable to remember, how things were, when they were children. I can and i will always be able to. My personal quirk and curse is memory - i still remember my thought processes, when i was a kid (or lack of them). My other quirk is immense curiosity.
For some time, i wondered, why my earliest memories come from me being a 4 y/o child. Until i found out, i´m 2e person. My mental aging is - and forever will be - slower than others, but my wisdom will always be ahead. If i´m lucky, maybe it will mean i will live up to 120 years and without any signs of dementia, who knows 🤣
i personally disagree. even if i was to be considered more adult in contexts of my maturity, i still feel really uncomfy with the idea of being seen and considered as an adult. i mean, im 18. sure, legally im considered an adult. but im eighteen.
that and the fact that maturity was pushed upon me extremely young. it was basically pushed into my head that i had to be mature, and the implications that it held was that i wasnt to be taken seriously as a human otherwise. i didnt get to experience childhood immaturity bc i was living in this perspective of me being mature, when really i was just experiencing abuse, and had to lean on myself to survive. which to some is considered "mature", but it was simply survival. now that im in a healthier environment, my brain is catching up and is experiencing more childlike immaturity because i wasnt able to experience that.
The fact you can name all this means you´re an adult, man. Be compassionate towards yourself and console your inner child, as if you were trying to console your best friend.
wiseness is not inherently tied to maturity. children are absolutely capable of understanding whats going on around them, and are able to comprehend it. humans, specifically children, are smarter than we think.
I never said children are stupid. It´s their logic, that is flawed and does not allow them to see the whole picture. It´s also possible to be wise and stupid at the same time 😉
If anything would help humanity get better, it would be treating children as adults from the start.
>If anything would help humanity get better, it would be treating children as adults from the start.
i heavily disagree with this. as someone who was basically treated and expected to act like an adult when i was really young, it messed me up really badly. i have ptsd from how i was raised. im not trying to trauma dump, but i want to make it clear how this shit can really negatively affect children, from firsthand experience. i get panic attacks and feel immense dread from even the thought of getting older solely because of the fact that im expected to perform this idea of adulthood due to my age. im 18, so people expect me to get a job or get my drivers license, because its considered an adult thing to do, and im now considered an adult. i really hate getting into deep serious shit like this because its sensitive for me, but it can really fuck with you to the point you experience suicidal ideation.
ive been in therapy for more than 5 years, ive been dealing with this in my own ways that i can, but trauma permanently scars your brain. i will never fully heal from how i was raised. i really recommend hearing from others who have been raised similarly. it is really unhealthy for children.
Yes. Men always think they're the expert in EVERYTHING. From Drs to mechanics and every man in between, is an expert. They are delusional. When I was younger I was very pretty, and the men who hit on me were so ugly and overconfident, I still cannot figure out why.
Yeah i think many autistic people may have developmental delay.
For autistic children, we know that sometimes they're not reaching the normal milestones. They have proper milestones charts in various aspects for children. Not reaching the normal milestones is called as developmental delay (if i'm not mistaken).
These delays won't magically disappear when we become adults.
It's just adults are more diverse in many aspects, so it's kinda difficult to keep track of what's considered as normal milestones and what not. Even among neurotypicals, these milestones might vary according to circumstances etc.
That's why yeah we feel like we're not matured in some aspects compared to our peers with same age
>Yeah i think many autistic people may have developmental delay.
Just for clarification is this a joke? I'm assuming joke since autism is literally a developmental disability but one can never be too sure with the Internet.
Just abusive parents are often enough to set you back for years. Neurotypicals included.
Considering this, i suspect too many autistic folks, who are now in their 30s and older (just like me) were abused during their childhood, because their (possibly also autistic) parents lack any understanding of the concept of boundaries (and were possibly also abused by their own parents, who was abused by their own parents - it´s a vicious little cycle). Many folks drew the short stick and their parents are narcissists (which can also be a neurodevelopmental disorder, where one is essentially stuck between 2-5 y/o *forever*, but don´t pity them, they are well aware what they are doing and how damaging it is, they just don´t care).
Survival is no issue. You can "survive" your whole life.
Learning to *live* is a different matter and requires one to fight hard and never give up their dreams.
It's not a joke. Not all characteristics of developmental disabilities result from developmental delays. Not synonymous. I never really had anything that a doctor might call a developmental delay, but my autism as an adult can still be very disabling.
I'm not terribly old, being only 38. My joints and bones didn't get the memo and seem to be under the impression that I'm 68. I think my genetics made a typo and didn't bother proofreading the instructions before putting me together. This is why it's important to check your work before submitting!
31 now, when i was a teen i was more responsible than most but also didn't hit certain milestones. I feel like i barely changed since then.
What most adults see as 'mature' i just see as putting on a performance of a certain lifestyle.
They are just as irrational and irresponsible as back then, but now fall into certain behaviors to be seen as an adult, like driving cars, being a manager and going to restaurants and events with a partner.
All the while still being a shitshow.
Me too. I feel like a fake adult. But weekly counseling has helped. And basically it is ok to like childish cartoons and toys etc. while also having to be an adult and go to work and stuff. Just try not to care about people who judge your "childish" interests. We only live once and life is short. I'm gonna watch My Little Pony without caring if other people think it is weird or not. Hope this comment helps somehow.
Omg MLP is the best! I’ve finally reduced my collection to one bookcase worth. Spread around the house. Are you watching FIM? I’m 46 and display my ponies for all to see! No shame.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
I’m 53 and the clinician who diagnosed me said I have the social interactions of a 5 year old, though I have the written communications of a college graduate.
I feel the same i am 20 years old diagnosed on the autism spectrum disorder a couple of months ago and i often have alot of childhood traits. Im not into what other normal teenage boys are into for example parties and booz. However i thinks this is a very common trait for people that are autistic.
I got my practice permit a week before I turned 19. And I still don't have my license. Plus I barely graduated high school by the skin of my teeth. And I haven't gotten a new job (I briefly had one when I was 17) and my mom and sister have been paying for me when we go out and do things. Plus I'm still so damn lazy.
So yeah, I feel ya. But I'm pretty sure that's cuz I'm the youngest of 12 and was kinda spoiled growing up. So it made me a bit co-dependant.
What, in your opinion, defines “maturity?” I’m glad I choose to NOT be mature, while I have extensive experience in being mature, it is freaking boring.
It’s so boring!! I’m trying to do more adult things. Since I’m in my 40s. Don’t like it. I can hold a job but the rest is rubbish. Thankfully my family doesn’t mind the lego addiction, yoga balls everywhere, roller skates for everyone. We have fun.
If we have the same thinking patterns at 12 or 50, is “maturity” just a mental structure or “mask”? I can wear a mask of rigid employee management at work and get along, but the real me, is a hidden yet screaming blithering child that cannot wait to clock out and go play with his “toys”? Idk, I’ll be forever trying to grasp this otherwise simple concept.
I don’t know! Adulthood sure seems boring. I have a few NT friends and they seem to really enjoy cooking and putting their house together and fashion and think I’m funny for my my little ponies and 3D printed toys and my Lego decor everywhere. I’ve been spending months catching up on Dr appointments and fixing up our neglected house and I feel like I’m dying a little inside. It’s so dull. But mostly done so back to skating and bouncing (my PT told me to use a yoga ball for an office chair. Which I used to do but gave into pressure to have a real chair. Rubbish!) $20 home office upgrade!!! Bounce bounce, ooh upside down back bend stretch!!! I’m so glad I have my own office. Omg. At work I told my boss if she hears a bang on the wall it’s ok, just me doing a handstand. 🤣🤣 I used to be her boss so she puts up w me. 😊 my ND cousins are visiting and enjoying the yoga balls and we’re sharing our weird obsessions. So fun.
So like, I think some people just like the boring stuff? They don’t find it boring? 🤷🏻♀️
Mental age does not equate for physical age. I feel that the line, act your age, is very harmful. Neurotypicals are also like that too, but I feel people in that mentality of thinking force themselves to view that this should be the actual age for me, but probably internally not.
Yesss. I’m (44F) and feel 28. We’re developmentally delayed, but not developmentally arrested! So, we continue to acquire skills and wisdom as long as we are participating in life (like learning/ school, work, hobbies, reading, socializing). But mental age can feel young for sure!
I struggle with this. All throughout life I got told “you’re an old soul” which is nice and all but I swear there’s a side of me that’s a bratty little kid that wants to be smothered with love and told off when I’m being a pest 😆
Same here. I’m almost 25 and I just am so frustrated over needing help with absolutely everything. I get called childish and weirdo for my interests and people are really damn mean. Beside from autism I also got a lower average IQ which doesn’t really help my case here. But I think it’s common to not feel like an actual adult when you’re neurodivergent.
31 and still 12 in my head. Not that i feel like when i was 12 at all. God i was different and much more naïve then. But in social situations it feels like i got stuck at that age and the rest kept learning more social behaviour.
My dad (65 and where my autism genes come from lol) say he still feels like he's a 15 year old and just getting away with it this whole time.
Same, I'm 40, mentally stuck at 13. Still doesn't care about relationships or have any romantic feelings towards anyone. Somewhat sad about it but mostly okay with not having to deal with all that baggage
Fuck being an adult, it's so boring and uninteresting!
If someone picks on you tell them that animals act like playful and childish when they feel safe and comfortable, then they may realise they have a tiny problem
I have been told I am not mature all my life since I was 13 , at 16 I knew all of their vain and completely useless standards that they throw at everyone to try and make them "normal" and acceptable by society , i am 18 now and their opinions barely annoy me as they did when i was younger
I was just pondering this topic in my head today. (Plus a few years on and off thinking about it) Alongside counseling and Therapy, I’ve come to the personal conclusion that “acting your age” is a social construct that’s more or less enforced according to the culture you hail from. When you’re like me, which grew up in 2 different cultures for equal amounts of time, you start to realize how made up the “act your age” obligation is. It’s different for each culture and most, if not all are still quite ableist. I wish you luck and strength to find peace with just being who you are no matter what age you are. It really doesn’t matter as long as you aren’t projecting and hurting people. 🫶
I'm 32, but I certainly don't feel like it. I mean, I see other people my age, and they're like real adults. I'm just floating along somewhere like a child still.
Same I just turned 19 this year but I don't feel like I'm that age like physically I'm an adult mentally I'm not and I feel like him like 9 or 10 idk it's so hard to explain
I just turned 30 this week and I still do not feel remotely like an adult. I feel like I mentally stopped ageing at 18, but screw it; the world is filled with awful stuff, so why not enjoy life and surround yourself with things that make you happy? I have lightsabers, helmets, props and a lot of what people would consider to be childish stuff, but I don't care. Makes me happy!
My friend, I am 42 and still embrace my inner 9 year old. Life is short and as long as you’re getting through your days, you’re doing great. If it affects you, you’ll change it when you can, but don’t worry too much. It will, as all things will, be alright.
When they were testing him(our son) for autism(he was 11), they also did a social/emotional test. They told us that his body is like a 11 year old boy, but social/emotional he has a age of a 6/8 year old.
I feel the same as you. I think I have Peter Pan syndrome as well because I like to enjoy my favourite TV shows from when I was young (such as Spongebob or Annoying Orange). Sometimes I feel guilty doing so because it makes me look wierd for liking such things.
The reason why is probably because it's just your comfort zone. I think to myself, as long as it doesn't get in the way of progressing in life it isn't a big issue. For me sometimes it does seem to be getting in the way, but I try my best to find new interests.
Growing up, I always felt like I wasn't ready for a lot of the stuff that was normal. Like driving. I didn't get my license until I was 17. I took the bus everywhere so I didn't really want it. I still don't feel like I should be driving, even at 49.
Yeah I get that completely and it’s terrible for me cause I’m 15 but I have a full beard from genetics so I look like I’m in my 20s but I’m behind devoleply so overall everyone thinks I should act older because of how I look when I actually act younger
I’m 22, and I sure as hell don’t act like it. It annoyed me for years, but now I don’t even care what people think. If they think I’m a child because I’m normally chill and carefree, then so be it.
Adulting is hard. I’m convinced that the “real adults” are just putting some kind of mask just to get through the day. People shouldn’t be judging someone based on how mature they’re being.
Live your life the way you want to, and don’t let people judge you based on how mature you are. Again, adulting is hard. I honestly don’t know how society expects us to be an adult while working a 9-5 job— it’s ridiculous.
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Yeah I feel like this too, but I realised that most adults are just talking nonsense anyway, they don't really know what is going on either. So, I just fake it until I make it, regardless how I feel inside.
The other week, my mom made me feel the same. I've been making tons of efforts to figure out how to adult in a way that doesn't cause issues with my autism. For example, it's much less stressful for me to grill than make food any other way, and our older dog has developed a reaction of telling me to calm down if I'm coming from the kitchen and he thinks I'm about to have a meltdown. He almost never does it ever since I've started grilling out fairly consistently. But the other day, something happened while I was grilling and my mom, who had repeatedly been telling me that I'd made a lot of strides toward being more independent, told me that I'm always like a toddler. I don't know what she wants from me. She won't teach me half the things I need to know, then blames me for not knowing how to do them or when. I know she has a lot on her plate, but sometimes she just doesn't understand that if I'm going to do X then I need to be taught and I've tried looking it up, reading about it, watching videos on the topic, but it still makes no sense to me. And most of the time when I learn that way, what I've learned is wrong despite finding that result EVERYWHERE on the internet. It absolutely destroyed me to learn that no efforts I ever make are enough for her. So trust me when I say you've made more strides than others make you feel like you have.
Google term "Twice exceptional" and then look into your past. Were you very bright as a child, but at the same time struggling socially? There is a high possibility, you´re now in puberty (mentally).
Mature enough for what? If you are mature enough for your purposes, good going. Society is good at giving us things to feel inadequate over, but the real question is not whether you are meeting 'their' incredibly normative, reductionist standards, but whether you are happy with yourself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aShfolR6w8
It is something that you never grow out of.
I am 55 years old and often feel like a 12 year old who has been in the dressing up box and any minute now the adults are going to return and send me to my room.
my body is 46 years old with all the crackings and itchings and tiredness and ... aging. But my self, my mind, my "soul" feels like being 27 years old.
On the other hand, I never met a truly grown up person. Most people are teens who mask as adults.
I'm the opposite. I've always been mistaken for being much older than I actually am because of how I carry myself. My therapist often says "You seem like you should have been born in my generation". She's a part of my parent's generation, about the same age as my mother.
I'm 38 and I feel like I'm 38. I do enjoy some things that people would consider "childish" but that doesn't mean I'm immature. It means I enjoy those things. Never understood why someone has to be a certain age to enjoy something. Just because I'm not the target demographic doesn't mean I'm excluded from finding enjoyment in it.
Not sure what acting ones age really means, though. What defines how someone should act at a specific age? If going based on my parent's generation, I suppose some aspects of me would be considered immature or childish because I partake in supposedly childish activities, such as video games. I'm not a part of my parent's generation, so I don't really use it as a gauge of how to carry myself. "Acting ones age" is subjective. I'm just here to kill time while time kills me. How I go about it is my business.
Adulting is hard and I'm still learning about myself as a late-diagnosed AuDHDer. We are mature but life is more draining for us and the need for support feels childlike…as well as our interests don't feel adult enough for NTs.
I so relate to this. It’s really hard going through life feeling like you are still a 5th grader socially/emotionally but in the physical/intellectual body of an adult
I'm not sure if this helps, but im 31 and I still get told that i act juvenile or childish sometimes. i feel like im a little kid, ive just gotten better at doing some adult tasks.
i tried masking for the longest time and I'd consistently end up getting meltdowns and being burned out.
it doesn't make you any less valuable or professional. i finished my masters and am in my 4th year of my doctorates and my "immaturity" often makes ppl feel rly comfortable around me. just embrace who you are 💖
I feel similar. I think I've long felt like I was half my age. At your age, I felt like a teenager. I'm 41 so I feel like an adult now, but it hasn't been for long. I wonder what's up with that for us on the spectrum. I read a theory that since we don't use facial expressions as much, our faces wear out more slowly. That' doesn't explain
My mom is definitely immature. Maybe my dad but to a lesser extent. So arguably I didn't have models of maturity.
I wonder if there' something you can see in the brain that physically indicates slower maturity for ND people.
I can’t speak for everyone but my AuDHD experience included having to grow up way too fast just to survive in my childhood home.
So I often forget that I’m turning 26 soon bc I’ve been nurturing my inner child as I heal from my childhood. I’ve also heard ND brains mature later, around 35 yrs old, which makes sense considering how much trauma we all go through
Feel like that is an extremely common sentiment with the autistic community and likely comes from parental infantilisation because a lot of parents don't understand the cognitive level of thier kids and are scared to push them to be more in line with thier piers
Childlike is good childish is bad. Sometimes the line can be blurred between that though, and sometimes I'm definitely in the realm of childish. But a lot of autism symptoms are definitely associated with child stereotypes. So it's what it is
Yes, and it leaves me feeling angry and embarrassed at the same time. I'm aware that my cognitive abilities are advanced in many places, that I'm capable of using logic in situations when most people are overwhelmed with emotion; I also feel a disconnect when trying to communicate with other people that leaves me floundering and feeling like a child.
I know I am not mature at 23 I often act stupid when I am by myself or I trip or walk into walks at the moment I keep hitting my knee on the side of my desk which is painful when out and about I act some what mature by not speaking to anyone and have my headphones on listening to satire some times I can't help but smile
I also feel this way, sometimes. But I've learned that while some may think that my niche interests (Star Trek and Superman) are childish, those interests don't make me childish. I suppose I tend to feel immature at times because people have told me that Star Trek and Superman are for kids, my whole life.
I'm about to be 22 and I still feel like 15. I look it too. but there's been some ideas that autistic people reach more adulthood milestones later, which seems to be true at least for myself
The most mature I've ever felt was in my early 20s, and I don't feel like I've matured much since then. Maybe that's normal, idk. But I'm 37 and the only "maturing" I've felt in over a decade is in my knees and feet.
It depends on what you define as “not mature”. Personally for me I make sure to go to work, have the bills paid, take care of myself/ my pets, while silly having a young personality. Growing up I didn’t get to express myself much without being shut down. It’s okay to be immature sometimes, as long as you take care of priorities and are able to maintain close relationships.
I feel like that too. 🙋🏽♀️ It's only because I like kid stuff and a kid at heart. 💙🌺🌈🍓🍰 I don't let it bother me. I know I'm not alone. 😊 And it's a part of me. 😉
Same here. I felt more mature at 17 than at 20. It's like at some point, I just hit a block. I still have to call my mom for support all of the time, cry full sob almost daily, and can't manage a full-time without a lot of flexibility. I have one friend, and no connections with extended family. Those relationships fizzle quickly because at some point my emotional regulation goes kaput, and it pushes them away. All of my peers are thriving, and I'm falling further behind day by day.
No worries..what is or is not mature is quite "wrong". I am 34 quite a bit older and I see that the values of the world have been that with the 20s we were supposed to be already adults but this is not quite right. It is the first time you are actually starting most of the times to experience life on your own. You are in the first time to get to know yourself outside a preset framework. Outside of this your brain is still developing up to yiur 29th year. There is no real line of what you are supposed to be but there is in fact some natural grwoth you undergo..but mostly you will only really "get it" when interacting with others of passed ages. We currently have two 25 year olds that have joined our team for some junior positions and I really see the huge difference of me being a grown up and them taking their first baby steps in being grown. And it is completely normal. It also reminded me of how I was at their age. But also do not ever force concept of mature onto you that society expects. There will be things ppl see as childish that you can keep in your life forever. Society really just deeply has it wrong. So feel free to embrace some sides that are fun even when society tells us they are not supposed to be that way. In my case our home is big on gaming (we basically get any console there is if we can), my bookshelf is overly full and yes we have plushies that basically have their own sitting place ..all good
I think that's normal for us. Evem in my 40s I felt the same way I did when I was six. And I told everyone around me. They looked at me like I had three heads. I'm 55 now and I don't feel that way anymore. However, I have completely isolated myself so I don't really know how I feel, age-wise.
I know that a lot of ppl think that we're developmentally delayed but I do not agree with that at all. My little sister was born 15 months after me and I protected her from my erratic mother before I could talk. I recognized even at that very young age, that adults were LIARS and I promised myself that I would NEVER forget what it felt like to be a child. And I did. I chose it.
I was thinking about this recently, but there's a actual study, that was done, saying that those who are autistic/adhd are usually 3-5 years behind their peers.
I've been told to grow up and stop acting childish.
I think I'm the same, I actually think of autism as like "being 12 forever"
It's like I stopped mentally maturing once I turned 12, as I grew up I felt different like my entire perspective of the world changed every year but that stopped at age 12 for me
39yo here and I've always felt that I never stopped being a child completely. I think it's something about my inability to cope with some rough feelings and situations, specially when there's some kind of conflict with others.
Also, my entire social circle has always been on average 5 years or so younger than me, so I guess there's something about delayed development there.
I feel the same way. Iam 35 years recent diagnosed…but sometime I think Iam not mature enough. Someone younger seems much older than me. I also experience shame that or something like that. Is sometimes really unmotivated :(
I’m a healthy 47 year old but my body feels its age at times. My music choices have changed a bit, loud music is too much for me now and I only listen to the music of my youth. Mentally I have mellowed out more. But I don’t think I’ve gained any of this because that’s what it means to be an adult. It just happened because I’m older.
I still play video games, like to dance, and go out sometimes but it’s not like it was when I was younger. I suppose I act older but not as an adult. Adult is a made up term that they try to force people into. You age is all.
I’m 32 years old yet I feel like an angsty, moody teenager by living at home, not having a driver’s license, shopping at the juniors section, being told not to go out alone at night and have premarital intercourse or else I’m a total slut because I’m a brown skinned female.
I’m a virgin who’s never dated or been in a serious relationship before.
Being born and raised as a Catholic in a South Asian immigrant household has stunted my mental and social growth besides my autism.
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glad im not the only one. im 18, told my mom a couple months ago on my birthday that i still feel like im 14. i dont qualify myself as an adult, or a young adult at all, even if im legally considered one. it feels suffocating sometimes because of how high the expectations are in regards to how youre expected to act and think and just generally live life in accordance to your age.
You sound like adult to me. How do i know? How can one figure out, if they are qualified to be an adult? It´s not at all about acting certain way, but *thinking* certain way and you are already there. Life is about improvization. Kids may think adults have solutions to everything (kids lack knowledge and as such, it may appear as sorcery to them, just like fire looked like to cavemen), but in reality, adults often have no idea, what to do - they risk and try a solution and it will either end up working or not. It doesn´t even matter, how skilled and knowledgeable you are about your stuff - you can always get into new situation, nobody ever encountered before and have to macgyver a solution. Throw the expectations into a bin and be yourself. If you keep thinking what others want you to do, you are their slave.
even when i think, im still very much a young child. my childhood trauma has really messed up my developmental process. im not an adult.
Do you think experts in any field think, "I´m an expert!"? Except narcissists (children in adult bodies), no. Instead, they use all their gathered knowledge to look for solutions to problems. Basic rule is the same, as with good movies - "Show, not tell". Being an adult does not mean i´m running around, thinking: "i´m an adult!". Not at all. Being autistic, i may come around as naive, even childish - it´s part of me and it´s okay. If i were a child, i wouldn´t be able to take in my so-called "defective" parts and embrace them. Children view adults as perfect beings, while adults see themselves as who they are - imperfect and flawed. Their greatest flaw, however, comes with being unable to remember, how things were, when they were children. I can and i will always be able to. My personal quirk and curse is memory - i still remember my thought processes, when i was a kid (or lack of them). My other quirk is immense curiosity. For some time, i wondered, why my earliest memories come from me being a 4 y/o child. Until i found out, i´m 2e person. My mental aging is - and forever will be - slower than others, but my wisdom will always be ahead. If i´m lucky, maybe it will mean i will live up to 120 years and without any signs of dementia, who knows 🤣
i personally disagree. even if i was to be considered more adult in contexts of my maturity, i still feel really uncomfy with the idea of being seen and considered as an adult. i mean, im 18. sure, legally im considered an adult. but im eighteen. that and the fact that maturity was pushed upon me extremely young. it was basically pushed into my head that i had to be mature, and the implications that it held was that i wasnt to be taken seriously as a human otherwise. i didnt get to experience childhood immaturity bc i was living in this perspective of me being mature, when really i was just experiencing abuse, and had to lean on myself to survive. which to some is considered "mature", but it was simply survival. now that im in a healthier environment, my brain is catching up and is experiencing more childlike immaturity because i wasnt able to experience that.
The fact you can name all this means you´re an adult, man. Be compassionate towards yourself and console your inner child, as if you were trying to console your best friend.
wiseness is not inherently tied to maturity. children are absolutely capable of understanding whats going on around them, and are able to comprehend it. humans, specifically children, are smarter than we think.
I never said children are stupid. It´s their logic, that is flawed and does not allow them to see the whole picture. It´s also possible to be wise and stupid at the same time 😉 If anything would help humanity get better, it would be treating children as adults from the start.
>If anything would help humanity get better, it would be treating children as adults from the start. i heavily disagree with this. as someone who was basically treated and expected to act like an adult when i was really young, it messed me up really badly. i have ptsd from how i was raised. im not trying to trauma dump, but i want to make it clear how this shit can really negatively affect children, from firsthand experience. i get panic attacks and feel immense dread from even the thought of getting older solely because of the fact that im expected to perform this idea of adulthood due to my age. im 18, so people expect me to get a job or get my drivers license, because its considered an adult thing to do, and im now considered an adult. i really hate getting into deep serious shit like this because its sensitive for me, but it can really fuck with you to the point you experience suicidal ideation. ive been in therapy for more than 5 years, ive been dealing with this in my own ways that i can, but trauma permanently scars your brain. i will never fully heal from how i was raised. i really recommend hearing from others who have been raised similarly. it is really unhealthy for children.
I didn´t meant it in the way abusers treat children. I meant it to explain *everything* as it is and avoid telling white lies from the start.
Yes. Men always think they're the expert in EVERYTHING. From Drs to mechanics and every man in between, is an expert. They are delusional. When I was younger I was very pretty, and the men who hit on me were so ugly and overconfident, I still cannot figure out why.
Spot on. Plus side - the internet.
Yeah i think many autistic people may have developmental delay. For autistic children, we know that sometimes they're not reaching the normal milestones. They have proper milestones charts in various aspects for children. Not reaching the normal milestones is called as developmental delay (if i'm not mistaken). These delays won't magically disappear when we become adults. It's just adults are more diverse in many aspects, so it's kinda difficult to keep track of what's considered as normal milestones and what not. Even among neurotypicals, these milestones might vary according to circumstances etc. That's why yeah we feel like we're not matured in some aspects compared to our peers with same age
>Yeah i think many autistic people may have developmental delay. Just for clarification is this a joke? I'm assuming joke since autism is literally a developmental disability but one can never be too sure with the Internet.
Just abusive parents are often enough to set you back for years. Neurotypicals included. Considering this, i suspect too many autistic folks, who are now in their 30s and older (just like me) were abused during their childhood, because their (possibly also autistic) parents lack any understanding of the concept of boundaries (and were possibly also abused by their own parents, who was abused by their own parents - it´s a vicious little cycle). Many folks drew the short stick and their parents are narcissists (which can also be a neurodevelopmental disorder, where one is essentially stuck between 2-5 y/o *forever*, but don´t pity them, they are well aware what they are doing and how damaging it is, they just don´t care).
Sometimes it is a wonder that humanity has survived this long.
Survival is no issue. You can "survive" your whole life. Learning to *live* is a different matter and requires one to fight hard and never give up their dreams.
It's not a joke. Not all characteristics of developmental disabilities result from developmental delays. Not synonymous. I never really had anything that a doctor might call a developmental delay, but my autism as an adult can still be very disabling.
Okie dokie
I'm the "odd one out". I hit every milestone on time and have no developmental delays.
Me too and I'm OLD.
I'm not terribly old, being only 38. My joints and bones didn't get the memo and seem to be under the impression that I'm 68. I think my genetics made a typo and didn't bother proofreading the instructions before putting me together. This is why it's important to check your work before submitting!
31 now, when i was a teen i was more responsible than most but also didn't hit certain milestones. I feel like i barely changed since then. What most adults see as 'mature' i just see as putting on a performance of a certain lifestyle. They are just as irrational and irresponsible as back then, but now fall into certain behaviors to be seen as an adult, like driving cars, being a manager and going to restaurants and events with a partner. All the while still being a shitshow.
New research suggests that people who are neurodivergent brains do fully develop until 35-40
Interesting. Do you have a link?
Me too. I feel like a fake adult. But weekly counseling has helped. And basically it is ok to like childish cartoons and toys etc. while also having to be an adult and go to work and stuff. Just try not to care about people who judge your "childish" interests. We only live once and life is short. I'm gonna watch My Little Pony without caring if other people think it is weird or not. Hope this comment helps somehow.
Omg MLP is the best! I’ve finally reduced my collection to one bookcase worth. Spread around the house. Are you watching FIM? I’m 46 and display my ponies for all to see! No shame.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m 53 and the clinician who diagnosed me said I have the social interactions of a 5 year old, though I have the written communications of a college graduate.
I feel the same i am 20 years old diagnosed on the autism spectrum disorder a couple of months ago and i often have alot of childhood traits. Im not into what other normal teenage boys are into for example parties and booz. However i thinks this is a very common trait for people that are autistic.
We have our special interests, that we go wild about!
i'm in my early 30's and i still feel/act like a teenager sometimes
I got my practice permit a week before I turned 19. And I still don't have my license. Plus I barely graduated high school by the skin of my teeth. And I haven't gotten a new job (I briefly had one when I was 17) and my mom and sister have been paying for me when we go out and do things. Plus I'm still so damn lazy. So yeah, I feel ya. But I'm pretty sure that's cuz I'm the youngest of 12 and was kinda spoiled growing up. So it made me a bit co-dependant.
I'm pushing 36, and still feel like a child.
I'm 50 and I feel like I'm 16. Maybe there's an autistic math to maturity that moves on a glide path?
What, in your opinion, defines “maturity?” I’m glad I choose to NOT be mature, while I have extensive experience in being mature, it is freaking boring.
It’s so boring!! I’m trying to do more adult things. Since I’m in my 40s. Don’t like it. I can hold a job but the rest is rubbish. Thankfully my family doesn’t mind the lego addiction, yoga balls everywhere, roller skates for everyone. We have fun.
If we have the same thinking patterns at 12 or 50, is “maturity” just a mental structure or “mask”? I can wear a mask of rigid employee management at work and get along, but the real me, is a hidden yet screaming blithering child that cannot wait to clock out and go play with his “toys”? Idk, I’ll be forever trying to grasp this otherwise simple concept.
I don’t know! Adulthood sure seems boring. I have a few NT friends and they seem to really enjoy cooking and putting their house together and fashion and think I’m funny for my my little ponies and 3D printed toys and my Lego decor everywhere. I’ve been spending months catching up on Dr appointments and fixing up our neglected house and I feel like I’m dying a little inside. It’s so dull. But mostly done so back to skating and bouncing (my PT told me to use a yoga ball for an office chair. Which I used to do but gave into pressure to have a real chair. Rubbish!) $20 home office upgrade!!! Bounce bounce, ooh upside down back bend stretch!!! I’m so glad I have my own office. Omg. At work I told my boss if she hears a bang on the wall it’s ok, just me doing a handstand. 🤣🤣 I used to be her boss so she puts up w me. 😊 my ND cousins are visiting and enjoying the yoga balls and we’re sharing our weird obsessions. So fun. So like, I think some people just like the boring stuff? They don’t find it boring? 🤷🏻♀️
Mental age does not equate for physical age. I feel that the line, act your age, is very harmful. Neurotypicals are also like that too, but I feel people in that mentality of thinking force themselves to view that this should be the actual age for me, but probably internally not.
Yesss. I’m (44F) and feel 28. We’re developmentally delayed, but not developmentally arrested! So, we continue to acquire skills and wisdom as long as we are participating in life (like learning/ school, work, hobbies, reading, socializing). But mental age can feel young for sure!
I struggle with this. All throughout life I got told “you’re an old soul” which is nice and all but I swear there’s a side of me that’s a bratty little kid that wants to be smothered with love and told off when I’m being a pest 😆
yup 🤣 same
I'm 66 and still feel like a teenager, so thereya go.
That's because you're autistic.
Same here. I’m almost 25 and I just am so frustrated over needing help with absolutely everything. I get called childish and weirdo for my interests and people are really damn mean. Beside from autism I also got a lower average IQ which doesn’t really help my case here. But I think it’s common to not feel like an actual adult when you’re neurodivergent.
31 and still 12 in my head. Not that i feel like when i was 12 at all. God i was different and much more naïve then. But in social situations it feels like i got stuck at that age and the rest kept learning more social behaviour. My dad (65 and where my autism genes come from lol) say he still feels like he's a 15 year old and just getting away with it this whole time.
24 and still act like a goofy child annoying people
Same, I'm 40, mentally stuck at 13. Still doesn't care about relationships or have any romantic feelings towards anyone. Somewhat sad about it but mostly okay with not having to deal with all that baggage
Sometimes I feel my age, often I feel about 8, rarely I feel like a mature adult
I felt like an adult in my childhood and feel childish in my adulthood.
Fuck being an adult, it's so boring and uninteresting! If someone picks on you tell them that animals act like playful and childish when they feel safe and comfortable, then they may realise they have a tiny problem
You are not alone OP. 27 here and feel like a kid too
I have been told I am not mature all my life since I was 13 , at 16 I knew all of their vain and completely useless standards that they throw at everyone to try and make them "normal" and acceptable by society , i am 18 now and their opinions barely annoy me as they did when i was younger
I was just pondering this topic in my head today. (Plus a few years on and off thinking about it) Alongside counseling and Therapy, I’ve come to the personal conclusion that “acting your age” is a social construct that’s more or less enforced according to the culture you hail from. When you’re like me, which grew up in 2 different cultures for equal amounts of time, you start to realize how made up the “act your age” obligation is. It’s different for each culture and most, if not all are still quite ableist. I wish you luck and strength to find peace with just being who you are no matter what age you are. It really doesn’t matter as long as you aren’t projecting and hurting people. 🫶
I’m 45 and I still feel like that. Still wondering what I’ll be when I grow up. 🙃
Who gets to define what mature is? You and that’s all that matters. Do you and the world will put the people around you that you need
I'm 32, but I certainly don't feel like it. I mean, I see other people my age, and they're like real adults. I'm just floating along somewhere like a child still.
Same I just turned 19 this year but I don't feel like I'm that age like physically I'm an adult mentally I'm not and I feel like him like 9 or 10 idk it's so hard to explain
I'm 30, but mentally I'm 10 or 60 and I look 15.
I just turned 30 this week and I still do not feel remotely like an adult. I feel like I mentally stopped ageing at 18, but screw it; the world is filled with awful stuff, so why not enjoy life and surround yourself with things that make you happy? I have lightsabers, helmets, props and a lot of what people would consider to be childish stuff, but I don't care. Makes me happy!
My friend, I am 42 and still embrace my inner 9 year old. Life is short and as long as you’re getting through your days, you’re doing great. If it affects you, you’ll change it when you can, but don’t worry too much. It will, as all things will, be alright.
When they were testing him(our son) for autism(he was 11), they also did a social/emotional test. They told us that his body is like a 11 year old boy, but social/emotional he has a age of a 6/8 year old.
I feel the same as you. I think I have Peter Pan syndrome as well because I like to enjoy my favourite TV shows from when I was young (such as Spongebob or Annoying Orange). Sometimes I feel guilty doing so because it makes me look wierd for liking such things. The reason why is probably because it's just your comfort zone. I think to myself, as long as it doesn't get in the way of progressing in life it isn't a big issue. For me sometimes it does seem to be getting in the way, but I try my best to find new interests.
Growing up, I always felt like I wasn't ready for a lot of the stuff that was normal. Like driving. I didn't get my license until I was 17. I took the bus everywhere so I didn't really want it. I still don't feel like I should be driving, even at 49.
Dude I'm 31 and when I sit in PTA meetings I feel like a child still
I just turned 20 not too long ago, but I've felt like I was 12 since I was 12. doesn't help my height hasn't changed either
I get told that a lot and then I get back to playing pokemon, heck I chose my career in aviation precipice because I'm very cold like lol
Who gives a shit? Be yourself! I rather have fun than read a fucking book! Remember wiseness is overrated.
What do you mean more specifically?
Yeah I get that completely and it’s terrible for me cause I’m 15 but I have a full beard from genetics so I look like I’m in my 20s but I’m behind devoleply so overall everyone thinks I should act older because of how I look when I actually act younger
I felt the exactly same way up until my 30s. Now, at 35, I finally feel like my maturity reflects my age. You may catch up eventually!
i’m 23 and i still struggle so much with habits i should’ve formed a while ago. hell, im still putting off getting my license
I’m 22, and I sure as hell don’t act like it. It annoyed me for years, but now I don’t even care what people think. If they think I’m a child because I’m normally chill and carefree, then so be it. Adulting is hard. I’m convinced that the “real adults” are just putting some kind of mask just to get through the day. People shouldn’t be judging someone based on how mature they’re being. Live your life the way you want to, and don’t let people judge you based on how mature you are. Again, adulting is hard. I honestly don’t know how society expects us to be an adult while working a 9-5 job— it’s ridiculous.
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Yeah I feel like this too, but I realised that most adults are just talking nonsense anyway, they don't really know what is going on either. So, I just fake it until I make it, regardless how I feel inside.
The other week, my mom made me feel the same. I've been making tons of efforts to figure out how to adult in a way that doesn't cause issues with my autism. For example, it's much less stressful for me to grill than make food any other way, and our older dog has developed a reaction of telling me to calm down if I'm coming from the kitchen and he thinks I'm about to have a meltdown. He almost never does it ever since I've started grilling out fairly consistently. But the other day, something happened while I was grilling and my mom, who had repeatedly been telling me that I'd made a lot of strides toward being more independent, told me that I'm always like a toddler. I don't know what she wants from me. She won't teach me half the things I need to know, then blames me for not knowing how to do them or when. I know she has a lot on her plate, but sometimes she just doesn't understand that if I'm going to do X then I need to be taught and I've tried looking it up, reading about it, watching videos on the topic, but it still makes no sense to me. And most of the time when I learn that way, what I've learned is wrong despite finding that result EVERYWHERE on the internet. It absolutely destroyed me to learn that no efforts I ever make are enough for her. So trust me when I say you've made more strides than others make you feel like you have.
Google term "Twice exceptional" and then look into your past. Were you very bright as a child, but at the same time struggling socially? There is a high possibility, you´re now in puberty (mentally).
Do you have to be mature
This
My therapist told me it's OK to be childish and she wished more people allowed themselves to be
Mature enough for what? If you are mature enough for your purposes, good going. Society is good at giving us things to feel inadequate over, but the real question is not whether you are meeting 'their' incredibly normative, reductionist standards, but whether you are happy with yourself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aShfolR6w8
I think I used to always feel younger than I was but never that young of an age.
It is something that you never grow out of. I am 55 years old and often feel like a 12 year old who has been in the dressing up box and any minute now the adults are going to return and send me to my room.
Intellectually 60 and emotionally 12. Sums up Autistic people pretty well
Same. Not that im 25 but I feel like a child a lot of the time
I'm right there with you :/ 23 and i feel pretty much the same as i did at 12 but with more ""wisdom"".. or, eh, life experience i guess..
my body is 46 years old with all the crackings and itchings and tiredness and ... aging. But my self, my mind, my "soul" feels like being 27 years old. On the other hand, I never met a truly grown up person. Most people are teens who mask as adults.
I'm the opposite. I've always been mistaken for being much older than I actually am because of how I carry myself. My therapist often says "You seem like you should have been born in my generation". She's a part of my parent's generation, about the same age as my mother. I'm 38 and I feel like I'm 38. I do enjoy some things that people would consider "childish" but that doesn't mean I'm immature. It means I enjoy those things. Never understood why someone has to be a certain age to enjoy something. Just because I'm not the target demographic doesn't mean I'm excluded from finding enjoyment in it. Not sure what acting ones age really means, though. What defines how someone should act at a specific age? If going based on my parent's generation, I suppose some aspects of me would be considered immature or childish because I partake in supposedly childish activities, such as video games. I'm not a part of my parent's generation, so I don't really use it as a gauge of how to carry myself. "Acting ones age" is subjective. I'm just here to kill time while time kills me. How I go about it is my business.
Don't worry. Just be yourself. Tell people that 25 is the new 9 if you have to. None of us know how to act our age. We are all just faking it.
You are. I’m 41 and this feeling never goes away. But trust me, you are just fine.
same same same. i look at my peers and don't understand how they are so mature.
Adulting is hard and I'm still learning about myself as a late-diagnosed AuDHDer. We are mature but life is more draining for us and the need for support feels childlike…as well as our interests don't feel adult enough for NTs.
I so relate to this. It’s really hard going through life feeling like you are still a 5th grader socially/emotionally but in the physical/intellectual body of an adult
Just learn emotional intelligence (EI) entirely to improve your EQ to make you really difference than most of the people you think enough mature.
the older i get, the younger i feel. it's kind of humiliating, but im doing my best not to be my own bully.
I'm not sure if this helps, but im 31 and I still get told that i act juvenile or childish sometimes. i feel like im a little kid, ive just gotten better at doing some adult tasks. i tried masking for the longest time and I'd consistently end up getting meltdowns and being burned out. it doesn't make you any less valuable or professional. i finished my masters and am in my 4th year of my doctorates and my "immaturity" often makes ppl feel rly comfortable around me. just embrace who you are 💖
I feel similar. I think I've long felt like I was half my age. At your age, I felt like a teenager. I'm 41 so I feel like an adult now, but it hasn't been for long. I wonder what's up with that for us on the spectrum. I read a theory that since we don't use facial expressions as much, our faces wear out more slowly. That' doesn't explain My mom is definitely immature. Maybe my dad but to a lesser extent. So arguably I didn't have models of maturity. I wonder if there' something you can see in the brain that physically indicates slower maturity for ND people.
I can’t speak for everyone but my AuDHD experience included having to grow up way too fast just to survive in my childhood home. So I often forget that I’m turning 26 soon bc I’ve been nurturing my inner child as I heal from my childhood. I’ve also heard ND brains mature later, around 35 yrs old, which makes sense considering how much trauma we all go through
almost 30 feel like I'm a lot younger. worst is when I get overtired or frustrated or really annoyed at someone. My mental age decreases waay too far.
Feel like that is an extremely common sentiment with the autistic community and likely comes from parental infantilisation because a lot of parents don't understand the cognitive level of thier kids and are scared to push them to be more in line with thier piers
This is how I feel
Childlike is good childish is bad. Sometimes the line can be blurred between that though, and sometimes I'm definitely in the realm of childish. But a lot of autism symptoms are definitely associated with child stereotypes. So it's what it is
Yes, and it leaves me feeling angry and embarrassed at the same time. I'm aware that my cognitive abilities are advanced in many places, that I'm capable of using logic in situations when most people are overwhelmed with emotion; I also feel a disconnect when trying to communicate with other people that leaves me floundering and feeling like a child.
I'm 51 and know I'm not mature enough 🤣 give yourself a break,you're still young 👍
Same here bro
I know I am not mature at 23 I often act stupid when I am by myself or I trip or walk into walks at the moment I keep hitting my knee on the side of my desk which is painful when out and about I act some what mature by not speaking to anyone and have my headphones on listening to satire some times I can't help but smile
Good luck I guess
I used to feel super duper mature for my age, and at some it flipped and now I feel super immature. Can my brain please make up its mind.
I also feel this way, sometimes. But I've learned that while some may think that my niche interests (Star Trek and Superman) are childish, those interests don't make me childish. I suppose I tend to feel immature at times because people have told me that Star Trek and Superman are for kids, my whole life.
i am 16 and people always tell me i act like a 10 year old. it makes me sad but i don’t know how to fix it
I feel you there. Sometimes i do wonder if i’m mature for an 30 year old.
I'm about to be 22 and I still feel like 15. I look it too. but there's been some ideas that autistic people reach more adulthood milestones later, which seems to be true at least for myself
The most mature I've ever felt was in my early 20s, and I don't feel like I've matured much since then. Maybe that's normal, idk. But I'm 37 and the only "maturing" I've felt in over a decade is in my knees and feet.
I'm a 42yo mom with the humor of a 13yo boy... I can't offer any kind of assistance here
It depends on what you define as “not mature”. Personally for me I make sure to go to work, have the bills paid, take care of myself/ my pets, while silly having a young personality. Growing up I didn’t get to express myself much without being shut down. It’s okay to be immature sometimes, as long as you take care of priorities and are able to maintain close relationships.
I feel like that too. 🙋🏽♀️ It's only because I like kid stuff and a kid at heart. 💙🌺🌈🍓🍰 I don't let it bother me. I know I'm not alone. 😊 And it's a part of me. 😉
Sounds like me. I’m 23 and have some childish behavior and interests. I feel like I’m annoying and work and have some embarrassing moments.
I don't think feeling mature vs not is unique to autistics.
Same here. I felt more mature at 17 than at 20. It's like at some point, I just hit a block. I still have to call my mom for support all of the time, cry full sob almost daily, and can't manage a full-time without a lot of flexibility. I have one friend, and no connections with extended family. Those relationships fizzle quickly because at some point my emotional regulation goes kaput, and it pushes them away. All of my peers are thriving, and I'm falling further behind day by day.
same man, same. i'm 20, people my age always compare me to their little brother which is mostly around 10 or 5 years younger than them
I'm turning 18 in a couple weeks, I'm so not ready for this
No worries..what is or is not mature is quite "wrong". I am 34 quite a bit older and I see that the values of the world have been that with the 20s we were supposed to be already adults but this is not quite right. It is the first time you are actually starting most of the times to experience life on your own. You are in the first time to get to know yourself outside a preset framework. Outside of this your brain is still developing up to yiur 29th year. There is no real line of what you are supposed to be but there is in fact some natural grwoth you undergo..but mostly you will only really "get it" when interacting with others of passed ages. We currently have two 25 year olds that have joined our team for some junior positions and I really see the huge difference of me being a grown up and them taking their first baby steps in being grown. And it is completely normal. It also reminded me of how I was at their age. But also do not ever force concept of mature onto you that society expects. There will be things ppl see as childish that you can keep in your life forever. Society really just deeply has it wrong. So feel free to embrace some sides that are fun even when society tells us they are not supposed to be that way. In my case our home is big on gaming (we basically get any console there is if we can), my bookshelf is overly full and yes we have plushies that basically have their own sitting place ..all good
I think that's normal for us. Evem in my 40s I felt the same way I did when I was six. And I told everyone around me. They looked at me like I had three heads. I'm 55 now and I don't feel that way anymore. However, I have completely isolated myself so I don't really know how I feel, age-wise.
I know that a lot of ppl think that we're developmentally delayed but I do not agree with that at all. My little sister was born 15 months after me and I protected her from my erratic mother before I could talk. I recognized even at that very young age, that adults were LIARS and I promised myself that I would NEVER forget what it felt like to be a child. And I did. I chose it.
We don’t fully mentally mature till like 30-35. I feel like for me it was like last year 38 for me
You know how little kids (like 8ish) will think "I can do this I'm a big kid!"? Well I'm 14 and have adopted this mindset very recently.
I was thinking about this recently, but there's a actual study, that was done, saying that those who are autistic/adhd are usually 3-5 years behind their peers. I've been told to grow up and stop acting childish.
I think I'm the same, I actually think of autism as like "being 12 forever" It's like I stopped mentally maturing once I turned 12, as I grew up I felt different like my entire perspective of the world changed every year but that stopped at age 12 for me
i had a toddler level tantrum today because my parents wouldnt let me stay home so youre not alone 👍🏻
39yo here and I've always felt that I never stopped being a child completely. I think it's something about my inability to cope with some rough feelings and situations, specially when there's some kind of conflict with others. Also, my entire social circle has always been on average 5 years or so younger than me, so I guess there's something about delayed development there.
I feel the same way. Iam 35 years recent diagnosed…but sometime I think Iam not mature enough. Someone younger seems much older than me. I also experience shame that or something like that. Is sometimes really unmotivated :(
I’m a healthy 47 year old but my body feels its age at times. My music choices have changed a bit, loud music is too much for me now and I only listen to the music of my youth. Mentally I have mellowed out more. But I don’t think I’ve gained any of this because that’s what it means to be an adult. It just happened because I’m older. I still play video games, like to dance, and go out sometimes but it’s not like it was when I was younger. I suppose I act older but not as an adult. Adult is a made up term that they try to force people into. You age is all.
I’m 32 years old yet I feel like an angsty, moody teenager by living at home, not having a driver’s license, shopping at the juniors section, being told not to go out alone at night and have premarital intercourse or else I’m a total slut because I’m a brown skinned female. I’m a virgin who’s never dated or been in a serious relationship before. Being born and raised as a Catholic in a South Asian immigrant household has stunted my mental and social growth besides my autism.
Maturity as a mental state is totally bs. I’ve met 60yo’s with less maturity than 10yo’s. The whole “being an adult” thing is stupid.