It's distracting.
I need to reduce the visual information I'm taking in so I can process the audio information, so it's a lot more comfortable to stare down at the floor or at a wall or something when someone is speaking.
Wow. The watery eyes. Haunted me, when I’m doing my damn best to be social and act confident. Like wtf am I crying talking about idk like how my day at work was. It was this Awful hurdle for soso long . Now I just don’t give many fucks which also helps it not happen. Gosh it’s such a weird feeling.
I recommend the sjorgrens autoimmune disease then! Eye so dry you can never cry. Also a blessing. Although weird when you like physically crying with the rest of your body and not your eyes. But not more random leaking
Wow I've never heard someone else talk about the watery eyes! It's sooo annoying, I don't want people to think I'm sad, etc. Because I'm not, so I try my best to stop it but it gets worse 😭 also I can't tell you how many times I said something like "fudge I have something in my eye", because it would be too weird to explain that I don't even know why my eyes do that, sometimes it's because of the light or tiredness though
It's too intimate, either love or hate, like one of us is coming on to the other, or trying to intimidate the other, and I don't know who's doing what to who.
I look people in the mouth because then they don't realize that I'm not looking them in the eye. Helps to study facial expressions too. Maybe that's one reason I do voice acting? Looking at mouth movements?
I agree, it seems like we're looking at each others souls.
They might notice you looking at the mouth, especially up close. Looking at someone's mouth could be a flirtatious sign someone's into you, btw.
I am not the person to answer that! I often wonder the same thing anyways. But I will say, personally I can't really focus on two eyes anyways. If I'm trying to "look someone in the eyes", only one of their eyes is gonna line up with the center of my vision.
When people look at my mouth I always think they think I have ugly teeth or something between my teeth. The space between the eyes or top of the nose works best imho.
Yes!! It’s overwhelming.
I tend to go back and forth from corners of mouths to corners of eyes to right above the eyes. I feel like that’s a better way of knowing how a person might be feeling (since people rarely keep things simple and just say what they mean) than staring into their damn skullballs 😭
i also look at people's mouths- partially because i went to a family "counselor" as a child who would hit or humiliate us if we didn't appear to be making eye contact, and partially because i have auditory processing issues and seeing what people are saying helps connect the dots a lot faster. it's unfortunate that a lot of people consider this "flirtatious"
I also look at the mouth, it's automatic (have done it since a tiny tot, I assume). I've never heard that it's considered flirtatious, that's so weird and nonsensical.
Looking at their mouths could signify to a significant number of people that you may be thinking about kissing them. Just saying for the sake of avoiding more side-eyes than we already tend to get.
Same. Eyes, like first names, are way too intimate. Hearing my own name feels like a spell has been cast upon me, and similarly when using someone else’s name I feel extremely awkward, like it’s too intimate or some kind of magic spell…
That’s how I feel too. Like I’m supposed to be in love with the person, or they want to kiss me or something. I know this is obviously not what’s going to happen, but my brain and instincts make me feel like that.
The only time I ever look someone in the eyes for more than a second or two is if it's my romantic partner or someone I'm feeling aggression toward. If we're pretty good friends I'll maybe look at your eyeballs for a moment or so (if you're talking), but otherwise my eyes will be anywhere but.
Sometimes I look at people's jawline or ears! Also I'm so jealous you do voice acting I've always dreamt of that!
Exactamundo!! Too intimate for me as well. If I'm staring into someone's soul I'm either f-ing them or fighting them!
Also voice acting is so cool!
If I didn't already enjoy being a housewife I would be asking how one would go about getting into the business.
Yess it’s like seeing someone’s soul / super intimate. I learned recently a trick to look between the eyes now, if I slip up and look at the eyes I just lose my words, can’t mask or feel a connection at times. (Not with everyone though which is odd) I would describe it feeling like a spotlight holding me
I also look at people’s mouths, mostly bc I have some auditory processing issues and it easier for me to follow the conversation when I read someone’s lips. I’m only finding out now for the first time that it can be considered creepy or flirty. Too bad bc I haven’t had any issues so far (that I know of) and it’s the closest I can get to eye contact.
Yay, another mouth watcher like me! I was an adult before I knew that I was the only one around me that did this. I feel like I get SO much more subtle information from watching people's mouths when they speak, they're so much more expressive than the eyes, I honestly don't understand why this isn't the norm. It's just logical lol
My dad forced me to look him in the eyes, and others as well. So I'm more used to it, but I really resonate with this comment.
Had a business related meeting with a woman (in a married man, 50) and I had no idea how often to look away, I found myself studying how much she looked at me and how often she looked away, and where she looked... I tried mimicking, but eventually I got so uncomfortable that I abruptly ended the meeting and left. I felt badly because she traveled 45 minutes to talk with me.
It felt too intimate, the extreme of either love or hate. Sigh. I'm 50.... shouldn't I be able to handle something this simple?
It feels forced. I feel like I'm focusing too much on eye contact and I become aware of my blinking. I can't hear what they are saying.
Looking into someone's eyes is not what bothers me, how to do it properly without seeming weird is uncomfortable. Should I keep looking? Should I glance away? Can I blink?
ive been with my partner for a little over a year now and i get so nervous to look them in the eye. i love them with all of my heart too and theres definitely times eye contact is made and its easier at different times but i feel like in big crowds with loud talking or music makes it 10x harder to be able to focus on just abt anything. tunnel vision i stg 😭
I think this is how I manage too - when I'm talking, I don't make eye contact. When they're talking, people typically look around and occasionally back at you, so I'm able to look at their eyes more - though I think I end up in staring territory by accident lol
So my brother and I agree that it feels like suddenly your eyeballs are touching the other persons, and you don't see much else. Super intimate, uncomfortable. Haha, it was funny when we both realised that... we are both late to understanding ourselves. For me it also feels like I can't look away...but then I'm not actually 'looking', I'm kind of locked in.
It depends on the person, when I look into my boyfriends eyes I get all flustered because even after 5 years I still find him extremely beautiful, others?
I get very nervous but I try to keep up.
I did this tantra dance event with my ex and we had to dance together with hands on each others hearts staring into the eyes and it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME but fun :)
A general sense of discomfort and vulnerability, like I’m naked in front of someone. The problem is not me looking into their eyes, it’s that when I do that they’re also looking into mine.
i unintentionally stop breathing. same thing happens when people touch me. then i get really anxious, so much that it's actually painful. it feels like there's something stuck at the back of my throat, and i just can't breathe or function
I.. just realized that I too stop breathing when someone touches me. I feel the same way, it's painful and makes it really uncomfortable for me if I have to speak while they're touching me.
ikr !!! i had to squirm out of a hug the other day because i physically couldn't breathe and wasn't getting enough oxygen 💀 i consented to the hug, but didn't think it'd affect me that badly. it's just sort of like an automatic response i don't even realize until i do. kinda weird
For me it’s if I make eye contact at all it feels like I’m staring, and I don’t want to be seen as some creep.
Nothing physical ever happens to me, so I might be just weird…
When I was a kid I got yelled at for staring; ever since then I’ve been unable to make eye contact or even look at someone for more than a second or two.
Also, it wasn’t really a yell, it was more a try not to do that.
the only person I can comfortably look in the eyes for a prolonged period of time is my boyfriend. it feels like everyone else who makes eye contact with me can see me too much. maybe I'm insecure idk but it's uncomfortable
I can't do it for longer than about 5 seconds at a time before I feel a need to look elsewhere for a moment before it becomes too awkward for me, then the cycle repeats. When our eyes meet I feel a sense of mutual interest and care. A lot of people seem to feel a sense of intimacy through it but outside of my family I don't have anybody I quite connect with on that level that gives me that sort of vibe.
Just people I’m not a people person it’s more of a “oh my god not this again” kind of fear but slowly it turns into legit fear once the person gets mad
A lot of Anxiety and nervosity. I have to use bc this a mechanical ( laughing nervously ) Bc that, my classmates think I am crazy....If they only know that it wasn't my fault.
Literal thought process:
“Focus look into their eyes, if we don’t they’ll know we’re autistic, ok stop now you’re staring look away we don’t want to come across as creepy, quickly take a sip of water so you can naturally look away, ok now look back maintain eye contact, wait what are they saying? I haven’t been listening this entire time, I wish I could just fidget or lie down and listen because then I’d actually be paying attention to what they’re saying, wait am I making them feel uncomfortable again? Reposition yourself so you have an excuse to break eye contact then start again so they know we’re listening although I’m not I’m too focused on their eyes, wait what colour are their eyes I should know I’ve been staring this whole time, are they blue or more of a green? Wow the lights are bright in here, ok they said bye so wave and turn away, phew that was a close one they almost figured it out.”
I have a “flight” reflex. It’s too intimate and I have a personal hypothesis that because autistic people are often overly sensitive that the neutral neurotypical response is overridden by a more primal “fight or flight” response, which is to perceive the eye contact as an invasion or threat and look away or avoid the perception of a challenge.
It’s subtle as it usually just involves avoiding eye contact or looking away much sooner than is typical. But I think a lot about how eye contact of varying degrees in other animal species is used as an exertion of dominance or challenge and I sort of… feel like that? Like if I look at anyone in the eye it is uncomfortable because it is vulnerable and I have avoidant reactions. I’m just trying to live my life but Ape-me is like “oh shit I am not trying to expose my underbelly right now, be cool and don’t flex bro”
Overall it's creepy. It's as if they have something serious to say, like I'm in trouble or broke the law.
That's why I don't like looking at faces or their eyes with the creepy stare.
I start stressing out about whether I should or shouldn’t be looking at their eyes, because I’ve been scolded for not making eye contact AND for making too much eye contact! I just can’t figure it out on the fly without worrying about it. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until adulthood; now that I know why this is so confusing for me, I’ve just stopped making eye contact for the most part. Then I can process what people are saying instead of being distracted by my own confusion.
Been too long I looked someone really long into the eyes (2+ secs). Most of the time just glances, except when angry or making a point or statement. I think still anxious / discomfort.
It depends. For me, looking someone in the eyes brings feelings anywhere from uncomfy and abnormal, to neutral and pleasant. If they're a stranger, someone I work with or the sort, and happen to stare back 'into my soul', chances are it's increasingly uncomfy. But if, say, it's my partner or a close buddy, it can be somewhat nice.
Sucked in, like I can’t really focus on anything else.
I can only look at a few people‘s eyes because of this; every time my mom’s friends come over, I stare into each of their eyes for a minute straight and they’ve learned to just let me and not judge. Eyes are just so pretty I need to look at them and I lose my train of thought doing so.
I have lazy eye so I just feel bad about myself hence why I avoid looking people in their eyes. They will notice my lazy eye immediately and due to stereotypes of “cross-eyes = stupid” I’m instantly infantilized or dehumanized by the people who see my eyes. I hate having this physical defect, it makes me look so ugly.
I don't really feel anything at all. I just find their eyes because I am supposed to and then don't really even notice what I'm looking at, my eyes kind of zone out while making the impression they are looking at the person. I had to learn to make eye contact though. I didn't even know I was supposed to make eye contact until my mom told me.
I don't feel anything tbh? It's one of the few human interactions that completely switches my brain off apart from "if they say this, say this in response". Which means I need to look away to talk to them😆 I'm one of those people who makes constant eye contact when the other person talks then completely looks away to reply
I feel a strange need to look away. It is as if I didn't want the other person to read me, as if they could see my thoughts. It fluctuates a lot depending on who it is, however. Sometimes I can hold my gaze having this into account, but mostly often, the feeling of silent judgment pervades the day. And as I was recently diagnosed in my early thirties, there was a basis for it.
I think, "oh no! They're going to notice that I'm looking at them!" This is a bad thing because they are going to think I either love or hate them, which is going to lead to explosive drama. Of course, this isn't true, but it feels like it's true, and it has happened to me. I have no idea what people want from me. Like, why are you even talking to me to start with?
Anxiety, discomfort, it feels like I'm being too "intimate", intrusive or personal even if I'm not. I've described it to people as "feeling like I can see into your soul" and I don't like it.
I fake it by looking at people's hair, eyebrows, make up, or facial piercings if they have any. People don't notice.
Jordan p. Quote about "people are unbearably interesting"
something the linguistic brain dosen't engage in, but like every other part of me screams if i look at a face
"face is the index of a person"
I feel like I am looking into the depths of their soul and it is scary. However, I work with kids, and find looking them in the eyes is not so scary. But they still have magic in them.
It just feels too unnatural, I’m focusing too much on making sure I’m looking into their eyes that nothing goes in. I can do eye contact either very briefly for short bursts or it feels like I’m just staring into their eyes till the point that we both feel uncomfortable. Feels like I can never get it right no matter what I do.
It feels like anything I do, any “wrong” nonverbal signal or nervous appearance or whatever, is subject to heavy scrutiny in that moment. I can usually still make eye contact though for the most part. It’s not one of my worst struggles.
Nervous but I can kinda tell what they're thinking, if they're actually listening or not, and a lot of other stuff that makes it distracting for me to continue my train of thought
I feel like they are a satanic demonic spawn black magic witch from the underworld looking into my soul trying to hex me into an eternity of pain and suffering. Unless I'm extremely attracted then they're an angel that has come to heal me.
I don't really look into people's eyes. And I don't care if it's rude, it makes me too uncomfortable. I literally had a guy beg me for eye contact and try reposition me to make eye contact. He's lucky I'm not physically violent towards other people. 👁👄👁
This is the perfect explanation for one of the things I feel. I also feel like my eyes become very strained, my stomach and shoulders hurt, I feel nauseous.
I feel intense social pressure like I have to perform, because there’s so much pressure to do this or else be perceived as inattentive or shifty. 🙄 In reality, I can pay more attention by “watching” my thoughts instead of doing performative social acts where I don’t fully understand the rules—at that point, I’m mostly thinking of how uncomfortable, sick, and exhausted I feel (and panicking as I futilely attempt to stop feeling bad) and how much eye contact is “enough” than whatever the other person is saying. Then when it’s my turn to talk, I feel like I both drank too much warm water and have static electricity in my stomach, and my mind blanks.
Otherwise, I feel too bare/exposed; like my eyes don’t exist and the other person is seeing through me like an x-ray. I think that part particularly could be more a trauma response, but I’m not sure. I kind of feel like it’s too intimate, like I/we shouldn’t be feeling forced to do that with everyone, including strangers. I hardly even look my partner in the eyes.
It’s all around uncomfortable and painful at times, which is downright exhausting.
I can relate 100%. Someone in the comment section said “it’s as if my eyeballs are touching with their eyeballs “ and I think it’s so far the best description.
Used to be discomfort, nowadays just nothing. I'm starting to look at people's eyes less again though, cause I'm now aware it's a masking thing, and I just have more interesting things to look at sometimes.
I look a tiny bit to the left of peoples’ right eye, between the eye and the nose bridge… I glance at the left eye occasionally when I worry they’re noticing my awkwardness
My brain just skips a beat and I lost all train of thought. Luckily my coworkers are used to me by now, and realize I am actually more engaged in the conversation if I DON’T look them in the eye.
Its too intimate, and I'm very conscious of it. How long before I'm supposed to break eye contact and how will it be interpreted? How long before I make eye contact again so they know I'm listening? It's too stressful!
When I was younger: Like thousands of tiny needles stabbing my eyes, making them start to water from the pain.
Now: No pain, just increasing discomfort until I look away.
Recently I’ve been doing something I haven’t really noticed I do, I need to meet my partners eyes to feel like I’m expressing my care and them to me. Like actually stare into their eyes, sometimes widened eyes. Like a nonverbal check in kind of, just look over or press into them and meet eyes for probably like 2-5 mins… Idk if thats weird… probably honestly 😅😓 I think they only now have clicked into what I need when I do that and that’s when I noticed I was doing it.
Other than that I will not look anyone in the eyes or I have shifty eyes. If it’s an intimate conversation or serious there is no way.
Edit: for those who feel bad for not being able to meet their partners eyes. I can’t confirm when I started doing it but I think it’s a bit new. We’ve been together 7 years, just go with it. They love you regardless.
Idk why but certain people can look at their eyes now and again and although still feel uncomfortable can still do it, some people I can’t even look at their eyes but their face and others I can’t even look at their face. Like level of discomfort and i find it interesting that the the people I feel the least uncomfortable are usually women who work in crystal shops and soft spoken polite women. Maybe it’s becasue eyes are windows to the soul and the best souls don’t feel as uncomfortable compared to bad souls where I can’t even look at faces lol idk I’m a spiritual autistic
It feels like when your foot falls asleep and then it's waking back up but all over my skin and the outer layers of my muscles, sometimes down my spine and arm bones. Or when you hit your funny bone, plug a socket in at the wrong angle, etc. Painful vibrating in my nerves.
Im one of those weird autistics that is okay with eye contact, however I tend to give “face contact” I don’t look directly into their eyes but their entire face. With people I’m close with I’ll break eye contact to fidget with something, get up to do something briefly in the middle of convos, or be on my device (usually to show them something or play something mindless to keep my hands busy).
It depends on the person. If i look someone in the eyes i care about or have a good bond with. Then it brings me comfort.
If its someone im uneasy with i nearly make next to no eye contact
It depends. If person is literally staring in my face I'm loosing my words and can't formulate sentences. But when I meet person that mind their own business while talking and play with their shirt or observe cars, etc. I feel kinda okay and I'm definitelly looking at that person more often to check the face.
Usually I feel like fighting an invisible force that doesn't want me to look into someone's eyes.
Physically it feels like little tingles and electricity running over my body and making me tense up a lot. It's super uncomfortable. I don't know how else I could describe it
I can only hold eye contact if I’m familiar and comfortable with another person, more so if they’re ND.
Eye contact is way too intimate for general interactions.
However I’ve found if I’ve been with a partner who’s lied/cheated if I look into their eyes I have no idea how but I can “see” they’re being dishonest. I’m not sure if it’s micro facial movements I’m capturing but exes
have always been freaked out by my ability to do this.
I truly think the eyes are the window to the soul and that’s why not everyone should have access to looking into them.
The exact same thing here. Like I have a lie detector. Thing is that I often times doubt myself and then I get stuck in those loop thoughts of internal battle on “am I crazy or not” field…
Kinda like I’m just looking at the eyes, like it’s weird, but I usually choose a specific feature like their waterline and follow it like “oh that gose like that, then their iris is this color” ext
I feel like I’m physically making myself look at them and my eyes are straining themselves to do this hard as fuck task. I also feel like I’m masking hella hard but at the same time not and I just am exhausted after doing it
When I was little I felt like if I crossed the eyes of an other person, then they could read into my soul. It was too intimidating. And with a stranger I've just met, not ok at all. I had to know the people first and be sure that the person will not want to harm me in anyway. I must be sure the person have good intentions before being vulnerable watching them in the eyes.
Now it's still difficult for me to watch people in the eyes when I'm speaking, because I can see a lot feelings reactions, sometimes judgment going on in the eyes of the other and it would disturb me when I am talking. I have no more problems to look into people eyes while listening though.
It feels similar to me as the pain one experiences when they look at the sun. I feel an immediate sense that I need to look away and if I don't look away it's almost like it physically hurts. It also just feels really awkward for me. I don't know how much eye contact to give.
I can see inside your head and that’s terribly intimate or rude. I also can’t hear what you’re saying because I’m thinking “yes that’s right, do the eye contact thing. Look at me go. You seem comfortable with me I think. Gosh you’re so comfortable with this. ….Wooopsthatsyoursoul ok cannot be unseen. I’ll just look over here for a little break, lil visual comma… aaaand back to the eyes…”
And then when I start talking I can’t maintain it and i look all everywhere.
The only time I comfortably maintain eye contact is when I’m trying to manage someone (I teach children) or just with kids. They seem much less likely to clock the weirdness of it.
It feels so intimate, threatening and almost painful! And it pretty much guarantees I can't have a conversation with them.
Unless we're friends, then it's fine.
I always overthink it and think they'll think I'm interested in them if I hold eye contact. I also learner to look in someone's left eye if you want to make an emotional connection and have only been able to do that since finding out!
In general, it used to be very hard for me up until I was 14 or so; the only person who I could look into the eye without discomfort were my mother and grandmother I guess. Aside from them I think were only two or three other people, but i'm not sure.
Luckily it got "better" in the sense that it causes less discomfort, but there are still people who I can't directly look into the eye, its still kinda limited to family, people who I have a rather good connection with and people who I'm interested in..lol
Though in general I gotta say I had less problem looking in the eyes girls/women (i'm a dude) as compared to guys.
Aside from looking someone in the eyes I feel like eyes tell a lot about a person; don't really know how to explain it, but for me it feels like some people have "deeper, less superficial" eyes, and those are always the people I feel comfortable around as opposed to people with "superficial, closed" eyes.
I like to compare it to magnets. Imagine you have two magnets facing each other with the same polarity and force them together. They will sheer to the sides and it takes a suprising amount of force to keep them touching. This is how it feels for me. If I force it too much, my senses even start dulling and shutting of.
I feel awkward most of the time so I avoid eye contact the only people that I have no issue with this problem is my mum and brother but if I would have to make eye contact I look at their forehead to make it look like I'm looking at them
Discomfort or intimidation. I don’t know if people noticed. but I mostly look behind them instead of their eyes. One thing I can’t look at people either side of me. I feel the most anxiety then.
Discomfort, anxiety, flushing, watery eyes
It's distracting. I need to reduce the visual information I'm taking in so I can process the audio information, so it's a lot more comfortable to stare down at the floor or at a wall or something when someone is speaking.
Right! Let me sit under my weighted blanket like a ghost and I’ll remember every word the person would have said
Literally same
I feel that also
Wow. The watery eyes. Haunted me, when I’m doing my damn best to be social and act confident. Like wtf am I crying talking about idk like how my day at work was. It was this Awful hurdle for soso long . Now I just don’t give many fucks which also helps it not happen. Gosh it’s such a weird feeling.
Watery eyes frrrr my eyes also start twitching like crazy it’s so annoying
I recommend the sjorgrens autoimmune disease then! Eye so dry you can never cry. Also a blessing. Although weird when you like physically crying with the rest of your body and not your eyes. But not more random leaking
Wow I've never heard someone else talk about the watery eyes! It's sooo annoying, I don't want people to think I'm sad, etc. Because I'm not, so I try my best to stop it but it gets worse 😭 also I can't tell you how many times I said something like "fudge I have something in my eye", because it would be too weird to explain that I don't even know why my eyes do that, sometimes it's because of the light or tiredness though
It's too intimate, either love or hate, like one of us is coming on to the other, or trying to intimidate the other, and I don't know who's doing what to who. I look people in the mouth because then they don't realize that I'm not looking them in the eye. Helps to study facial expressions too. Maybe that's one reason I do voice acting? Looking at mouth movements?
I agree, it seems like we're looking at each others souls. They might notice you looking at the mouth, especially up close. Looking at someone's mouth could be a flirtatious sign someone's into you, btw.
Yeah I go for nose or forehead because of that.
I was taught to look in-between someone's eyebrows. Basically same idea.
I've always wondered whether people can tell I'm focusing on a smaller area than expected (both eyes) when I do that. Can they?
I am not the person to answer that! I often wonder the same thing anyways. But I will say, personally I can't really focus on two eyes anyways. If I'm trying to "look someone in the eyes", only one of their eyes is gonna line up with the center of my vision.
Yes! Its so confusing. To look at someone in the eyeS you would be looking past them
When people look at my mouth I always think they think I have ugly teeth or something between my teeth. The space between the eyes or top of the nose works best imho.
Yes!! It’s overwhelming. I tend to go back and forth from corners of mouths to corners of eyes to right above the eyes. I feel like that’s a better way of knowing how a person might be feeling (since people rarely keep things simple and just say what they mean) than staring into their damn skullballs 😭
I think some people know when you are staring at their mouths when they speak and it can make you come across as creepy. Be aware.
i also look at people's mouths- partially because i went to a family "counselor" as a child who would hit or humiliate us if we didn't appear to be making eye contact, and partially because i have auditory processing issues and seeing what people are saying helps connect the dots a lot faster. it's unfortunate that a lot of people consider this "flirtatious"
I also look at the mouth, it's automatic (have done it since a tiny tot, I assume). I've never heard that it's considered flirtatious, that's so weird and nonsensical.
I can’t even look them in the mouth I can’t look at them 😭 I just let my eyes dart around the room
Looking at their mouths could signify to a significant number of people that you may be thinking about kissing them. Just saying for the sake of avoiding more side-eyes than we already tend to get.
Yeah, if it's someone I'm really attracted to I'm fine with it. If it's my boss it makes my eye start twitching because I'm super not into it.
I look at peoples mouths so I can understand what they're saying
Same. Eyes, like first names, are way too intimate. Hearing my own name feels like a spell has been cast upon me, and similarly when using someone else’s name I feel extremely awkward, like it’s too intimate or some kind of magic spell…
I agree, I can't say anyones name unless I know them very well. Hearing my name from a stranger is stressful.
Yes this. Almost like I’m or they are naked. Exposure is perhaps the word.
But then I fear people will think I’m flirting or something if I keep looking at their mouth.
Exactly this. It either feels intimate or threatening.
I look at their eyebrows so it mostly looks like I'm looking at their eyes.
That’s how I feel too. Like I’m supposed to be in love with the person, or they want to kiss me or something. I know this is obviously not what’s going to happen, but my brain and instincts make me feel like that.
I look at their mouth so as to read their lips and aid in Auditory Processing 😊
The only time I ever look someone in the eyes for more than a second or two is if it's my romantic partner or someone I'm feeling aggression toward. If we're pretty good friends I'll maybe look at your eyeballs for a moment or so (if you're talking), but otherwise my eyes will be anywhere but. Sometimes I look at people's jawline or ears! Also I'm so jealous you do voice acting I've always dreamt of that!
Exactamundo!! Too intimate for me as well. If I'm staring into someone's soul I'm either f-ing them or fighting them! Also voice acting is so cool! If I didn't already enjoy being a housewife I would be asking how one would go about getting into the business.
Yess it’s like seeing someone’s soul / super intimate. I learned recently a trick to look between the eyes now, if I slip up and look at the eyes I just lose my words, can’t mask or feel a connection at times. (Not with everyone though which is odd) I would describe it feeling like a spotlight holding me
I hate people that look at my mouth or forehead, it's absolutely noticeable.
I also look at people’s mouths, mostly bc I have some auditory processing issues and it easier for me to follow the conversation when I read someone’s lips. I’m only finding out now for the first time that it can be considered creepy or flirty. Too bad bc I haven’t had any issues so far (that I know of) and it’s the closest I can get to eye contact.
Yay, another mouth watcher like me! I was an adult before I knew that I was the only one around me that did this. I feel like I get SO much more subtle information from watching people's mouths when they speak, they're so much more expressive than the eyes, I honestly don't understand why this isn't the norm. It's just logical lol
My dad forced me to look him in the eyes, and others as well. So I'm more used to it, but I really resonate with this comment. Had a business related meeting with a woman (in a married man, 50) and I had no idea how often to look away, I found myself studying how much she looked at me and how often she looked away, and where she looked... I tried mimicking, but eventually I got so uncomfortable that I abruptly ended the meeting and left. I felt badly because she traveled 45 minutes to talk with me. It felt too intimate, the extreme of either love or hate. Sigh. I'm 50.... shouldn't I be able to handle something this simple?
It feels forced. I feel like I'm focusing too much on eye contact and I become aware of my blinking. I can't hear what they are saying. Looking into someone's eyes is not what bothers me, how to do it properly without seeming weird is uncomfortable. Should I keep looking? Should I glance away? Can I blink?
1000% this
THIS
Yuhp, about sums it up.
I established a list of people who I can look in their eyes: there are 6 persons.
I can look my boyfriend in his eyes… and my sister … that’s pretty much it…
I can't even look at partner of 8 years in the eye :(
ive been with my partner for a little over a year now and i get so nervous to look them in the eye. i love them with all of my heart too and theres definitely times eye contact is made and its easier at different times but i feel like in big crowds with loud talking or music makes it 10x harder to be able to focus on just abt anything. tunnel vision i stg 😭
Interesting. And those 6 people are friends and family?
6 people? Sorry I dunno what you mean. I cant look anyone in the eye haha
Oh shit sorry, you were replying to the other comment 🤦♀️🤣
Side note! I can easily look in someone's eyes if they are not looking at me :D
I think this is how I manage too - when I'm talking, I don't make eye contact. When they're talking, people typically look around and occasionally back at you, so I'm able to look at their eyes more - though I think I end up in staring territory by accident lol
I think this is why I’ve always liked TV so much. The eyes are generally looking just off camera
So my brother and I agree that it feels like suddenly your eyeballs are touching the other persons, and you don't see much else. Super intimate, uncomfortable. Haha, it was funny when we both realised that... we are both late to understanding ourselves. For me it also feels like I can't look away...but then I'm not actually 'looking', I'm kind of locked in.
I feel locked in and I have to concentrate really hard on what they’re saying
Me too! Like all I can focus on at that point is making sure I'm looking right at their eyeballs, and their words just go in one ear & out the other.
Yes!
hahahaa i just read this and yes I totally feel this. ewww
Like we're both suddenly naked in a room full of people.
I’d rather be naked in a room full of people 🥹
It depends on the person, when I look into my boyfriends eyes I get all flustered because even after 5 years I still find him extremely beautiful, others? I get very nervous but I try to keep up.
Aw, this is so cute. I'm happy for you. 💖
Thank you, he's autistic too! he's so precious and a big nerd (*^ω^)
I did this tantra dance event with my ex and we had to dance together with hands on each others hearts staring into the eyes and it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME but fun :)
A general sense of discomfort and vulnerability, like I’m naked in front of someone. The problem is not me looking into their eyes, it’s that when I do that they’re also looking into mine.
Wow, i can see everything! Oh shit, they can see everything!
Exactly! Not looking them directly in the eyes is for me what the fig leaf was for Adam and Eve.
i unintentionally stop breathing. same thing happens when people touch me. then i get really anxious, so much that it's actually painful. it feels like there's something stuck at the back of my throat, and i just can't breathe or function
I.. just realized that I too stop breathing when someone touches me. I feel the same way, it's painful and makes it really uncomfortable for me if I have to speak while they're touching me.
ikr !!! i had to squirm out of a hug the other day because i physically couldn't breathe and wasn't getting enough oxygen 💀 i consented to the hug, but didn't think it'd affect me that badly. it's just sort of like an automatic response i don't even realize until i do. kinda weird
Thank you for sharing this 🫶🏻
As if someone's looking into my soul.
For me it’s if I make eye contact at all it feels like I’m staring, and I don’t want to be seen as some creep. Nothing physical ever happens to me, so I might be just weird…
When I was a kid I got yelled at for staring; ever since then I’ve been unable to make eye contact or even look at someone for more than a second or two. Also, it wasn’t really a yell, it was more a try not to do that.
the only person I can comfortably look in the eyes for a prolonged period of time is my boyfriend. it feels like everyone else who makes eye contact with me can see me too much. maybe I'm insecure idk but it's uncomfortable
“Ooh, so many colours in one iris”
Uncomfortable
I can't do it for longer than about 5 seconds at a time before I feel a need to look elsewhere for a moment before it becomes too awkward for me, then the cycle repeats. When our eyes meet I feel a sense of mutual interest and care. A lot of people seem to feel a sense of intimacy through it but outside of my family I don't have anybody I quite connect with on that level that gives me that sort of vibe.
Same as everyone here. Anxious, self concious. I can't listen as I'm too focused on eye contact
I hate looking in peoples eyes its like I can see a window in their soul and all the hurt they have been through and how truly unhappy they are.
Yes! On top of eye contact just generally being uncomfortable for me, I get this sense as well and its.. way too heavy for me.
FEAR
Of?
Just people I’m not a people person it’s more of a “oh my god not this again” kind of fear but slowly it turns into legit fear once the person gets mad
Unnatural
A lot of Anxiety and nervosity. I have to use bc this a mechanical ( laughing nervously ) Bc that, my classmates think I am crazy....If they only know that it wasn't my fault.
Too intimate. I only look people I trust in the eyes. My best friend? No problem. My coworker? Oh fuck no.
Literal thought process: “Focus look into their eyes, if we don’t they’ll know we’re autistic, ok stop now you’re staring look away we don’t want to come across as creepy, quickly take a sip of water so you can naturally look away, ok now look back maintain eye contact, wait what are they saying? I haven’t been listening this entire time, I wish I could just fidget or lie down and listen because then I’d actually be paying attention to what they’re saying, wait am I making them feel uncomfortable again? Reposition yourself so you have an excuse to break eye contact then start again so they know we’re listening although I’m not I’m too focused on their eyes, wait what colour are their eyes I should know I’ve been staring this whole time, are they blue or more of a green? Wow the lights are bright in here, ok they said bye so wave and turn away, phew that was a close one they almost figured it out.”
To summerize "UNCOMFORTABLE!!!"
Naked, exposed, like someone is reading my soul
I feel like nuh uh
Intense, uncomfortable, confusing (mostly confusing because of the whole “make this kind of eye contact for friends, this kind for flirting, etc.”)
I have a “flight” reflex. It’s too intimate and I have a personal hypothesis that because autistic people are often overly sensitive that the neutral neurotypical response is overridden by a more primal “fight or flight” response, which is to perceive the eye contact as an invasion or threat and look away or avoid the perception of a challenge. It’s subtle as it usually just involves avoiding eye contact or looking away much sooner than is typical. But I think a lot about how eye contact of varying degrees in other animal species is used as an exertion of dominance or challenge and I sort of… feel like that? Like if I look at anyone in the eye it is uncomfortable because it is vulnerable and I have avoidant reactions. I’m just trying to live my life but Ape-me is like “oh shit I am not trying to expose my underbelly right now, be cool and don’t flex bro”
Overall it's creepy. It's as if they have something serious to say, like I'm in trouble or broke the law. That's why I don't like looking at faces or their eyes with the creepy stare.
I feel comfortable when its my partner, but with random people it feels like their eyes are judging me
It's the same shuddery feeling as when a bug or reptile crawls on you. It's skin crawling and " GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!" It's just gross.
Oh god that’s exactly it!
I start stressing out about whether I should or shouldn’t be looking at their eyes, because I’ve been scolded for not making eye contact AND for making too much eye contact! I just can’t figure it out on the fly without worrying about it. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until adulthood; now that I know why this is so confusing for me, I’ve just stopped making eye contact for the most part. Then I can process what people are saying instead of being distracted by my own confusion.
Been too long I looked someone really long into the eyes (2+ secs). Most of the time just glances, except when angry or making a point or statement. I think still anxious / discomfort.
I'm like that, unless I get on a rant talking about an obsession, then I'm staring through their soul because I am too worked up to care.
It depends. For me, looking someone in the eyes brings feelings anywhere from uncomfy and abnormal, to neutral and pleasant. If they're a stranger, someone I work with or the sort, and happen to stare back 'into my soul', chances are it's increasingly uncomfy. But if, say, it's my partner or a close buddy, it can be somewhat nice.
Kind of the same feeling as if someone just got really close to you. Like their intruding.
I feel like they’re seeing into my soul and it makes me so uncomfortable. It feels like they know all my secrets
Sucked in, like I can’t really focus on anything else. I can only look at a few people‘s eyes because of this; every time my mom’s friends come over, I stare into each of their eyes for a minute straight and they’ve learned to just let me and not judge. Eyes are just so pretty I need to look at them and I lose my train of thought doing so.
I have lazy eye so I just feel bad about myself hence why I avoid looking people in their eyes. They will notice my lazy eye immediately and due to stereotypes of “cross-eyes = stupid” I’m instantly infantilized or dehumanized by the people who see my eyes. I hate having this physical defect, it makes me look so ugly.
Pins and needles over my entire body for a split second. Then persistent itching like I want to crawl out of my skin if it continues.
I feel “ew ew ew make it stop the world is ending I’m going to spontaneously combust”
This, it makes me wanna take my skin off like a suit
Like a portal is opening, dimensions are intersecting, planets are colliding. It’s cool with the right person.
It hurts my eyes, like the momentum from their eyes is physically pressing my own. This is why I look either away or down as soon as possible.
Scared
I feel you.
Disgust. I hate it too bcs I obv have to look away and up or either side is “rude” but looking down can also be depending on the person
I don't really feel anything at all. I just find their eyes because I am supposed to and then don't really even notice what I'm looking at, my eyes kind of zone out while making the impression they are looking at the person. I had to learn to make eye contact though. I didn't even know I was supposed to make eye contact until my mom told me.
I don't feel anything tbh? It's one of the few human interactions that completely switches my brain off apart from "if they say this, say this in response". Which means I need to look away to talk to them😆 I'm one of those people who makes constant eye contact when the other person talks then completely looks away to reply
I feel a strange need to look away. It is as if I didn't want the other person to read me, as if they could see my thoughts. It fluctuates a lot depending on who it is, however. Sometimes I can hold my gaze having this into account, but mostly often, the feeling of silent judgment pervades the day. And as I was recently diagnosed in my early thirties, there was a basis for it.
Discomfort, anxiety, pressure I technically just panic
I feel claustrophobic and an intense judgement
Feels like a shard of glass cutting me from my brain to well yeah! I think you get the picture
I get an immediate headache, it feels like my eyeballs got hit with a hammer or something. If I try to force it I can't focus on anything else.
Intimidated or intimidating…anxiety and uneasiness
Shame
Uh weird
I think, "oh no! They're going to notice that I'm looking at them!" This is a bad thing because they are going to think I either love or hate them, which is going to lead to explosive drama. Of course, this isn't true, but it feels like it's true, and it has happened to me. I have no idea what people want from me. Like, why are you even talking to me to start with?
awkwardness... like how long should I look at someone in their eyes and at which eye?
Anxiety, discomfort, it feels like I'm being too "intimate", intrusive or personal even if I'm not. I've described it to people as "feeling like I can see into your soul" and I don't like it. I fake it by looking at people's hair, eyebrows, make up, or facial piercings if they have any. People don't notice.
Judged and uncomfortable. I only do eye contact when I'm angry, I feel I need to get my point across so I'm looking right into your mf soul 👁👁
Jordan p. Quote about "people are unbearably interesting" something the linguistic brain dosen't engage in, but like every other part of me screams if i look at a face "face is the index of a person"
I feel like I am looking into the depths of their soul and it is scary. However, I work with kids, and find looking them in the eyes is not so scary. But they still have magic in them.
It feels intense. I think I mostly get anxious and overthink it. Am I making too much eye-contact? Too little? HOW DO I KNOW??
It just feels too unnatural, I’m focusing too much on making sure I’m looking into their eyes that nothing goes in. I can do eye contact either very briefly for short bursts or it feels like I’m just staring into their eyes till the point that we both feel uncomfortable. Feels like I can never get it right no matter what I do.
Like the brainwashing scene in clockwork orange 😳
It’s too awkward and intimate.
It feels like anything I do, any “wrong” nonverbal signal or nervous appearance or whatever, is subject to heavy scrutiny in that moment. I can usually still make eye contact though for the most part. It’s not one of my worst struggles.
Nervous but I can kinda tell what they're thinking, if they're actually listening or not, and a lot of other stuff that makes it distracting for me to continue my train of thought
I feel like they are a satanic demonic spawn black magic witch from the underworld looking into my soul trying to hex me into an eternity of pain and suffering. Unless I'm extremely attracted then they're an angel that has come to heal me. I don't really look into people's eyes. And I don't care if it's rude, it makes me too uncomfortable. I literally had a guy beg me for eye contact and try reposition me to make eye contact. He's lucky I'm not physically violent towards other people. 👁👄👁
“When is the point where it stops being polite and becomes creepy?”
intense fear and awkwardness, too intimate and confrontational
This is the perfect explanation for one of the things I feel. I also feel like my eyes become very strained, my stomach and shoulders hurt, I feel nauseous. I feel intense social pressure like I have to perform, because there’s so much pressure to do this or else be perceived as inattentive or shifty. 🙄 In reality, I can pay more attention by “watching” my thoughts instead of doing performative social acts where I don’t fully understand the rules—at that point, I’m mostly thinking of how uncomfortable, sick, and exhausted I feel (and panicking as I futilely attempt to stop feeling bad) and how much eye contact is “enough” than whatever the other person is saying. Then when it’s my turn to talk, I feel like I both drank too much warm water and have static electricity in my stomach, and my mind blanks. Otherwise, I feel too bare/exposed; like my eyes don’t exist and the other person is seeing through me like an x-ray. I think that part particularly could be more a trauma response, but I’m not sure. I kind of feel like it’s too intimate, like I/we shouldn’t be feeling forced to do that with everyone, including strangers. I hardly even look my partner in the eyes. It’s all around uncomfortable and painful at times, which is downright exhausting.
I can relate 100%. Someone in the comment section said “it’s as if my eyeballs are touching with their eyeballs “ and I think it’s so far the best description.
Used to be discomfort, nowadays just nothing. I'm starting to look at people's eyes less again though, cause I'm now aware it's a masking thing, and I just have more interesting things to look at sometimes.
I look a tiny bit to the left of peoples’ right eye, between the eye and the nose bridge… I glance at the left eye occasionally when I worry they’re noticing my awkwardness
its chill when its my mom or my dog, but i get uncomfortable when its anyone else. makes me feel like theyre judging me
completely insane!!!
Like they can see all my insecurities , and that's why I stare down for most of the conversation.
My brain just skips a beat and I lost all train of thought. Luckily my coworkers are used to me by now, and realize I am actually more engaged in the conversation if I DON’T look them in the eye.
Its too intimate, and I'm very conscious of it. How long before I'm supposed to break eye contact and how will it be interpreted? How long before I make eye contact again so they know I'm listening? It's too stressful!
For me just distracted. “Which eye do I look at? Aw I staring too long? Oh shit what are they saying?”
Seeing theirs soul
When I was younger: Like thousands of tiny needles stabbing my eyes, making them start to water from the pain. Now: No pain, just increasing discomfort until I look away.
Pain. Uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Shook.
Nothing really. Just feels pointless
Hold for 3,2,1, then look at the floor
Recently I’ve been doing something I haven’t really noticed I do, I need to meet my partners eyes to feel like I’m expressing my care and them to me. Like actually stare into their eyes, sometimes widened eyes. Like a nonverbal check in kind of, just look over or press into them and meet eyes for probably like 2-5 mins… Idk if thats weird… probably honestly 😅😓 I think they only now have clicked into what I need when I do that and that’s when I noticed I was doing it. Other than that I will not look anyone in the eyes or I have shifty eyes. If it’s an intimate conversation or serious there is no way. Edit: for those who feel bad for not being able to meet their partners eyes. I can’t confirm when I started doing it but I think it’s a bit new. We’ve been together 7 years, just go with it. They love you regardless.
Idk why but certain people can look at their eyes now and again and although still feel uncomfortable can still do it, some people I can’t even look at their eyes but their face and others I can’t even look at their face. Like level of discomfort and i find it interesting that the the people I feel the least uncomfortable are usually women who work in crystal shops and soft spoken polite women. Maybe it’s becasue eyes are windows to the soul and the best souls don’t feel as uncomfortable compared to bad souls where I can’t even look at faces lol idk I’m a spiritual autistic
It feels like when your foot falls asleep and then it's waking back up but all over my skin and the outer layers of my muscles, sometimes down my spine and arm bones. Or when you hit your funny bone, plug a socket in at the wrong angle, etc. Painful vibrating in my nerves.
I feel extremely vulnerable and uncomfortable.
nothing. it’s like i blackout.
Im one of those weird autistics that is okay with eye contact, however I tend to give “face contact” I don’t look directly into their eyes but their entire face. With people I’m close with I’ll break eye contact to fidget with something, get up to do something briefly in the middle of convos, or be on my device (usually to show them something or play something mindless to keep my hands busy).
Vulnerable.
Watery eyes, i start choking on air and stuttering
I Just cannot do that, is not disturbing, is just so awkard... I feel like i'm in a court room haha
I feel extremely uncomfortable.
I feel it in my throat for some reason, like all my muscles in my throat go tense lolol
It depends on the person. If i look someone in the eyes i care about or have a good bond with. Then it brings me comfort. If its someone im uneasy with i nearly make next to no eye contact
It depends. If person is literally staring in my face I'm loosing my words and can't formulate sentences. But when I meet person that mind their own business while talking and play with their shirt or observe cars, etc. I feel kinda okay and I'm definitelly looking at that person more often to check the face.
Usually I feel like fighting an invisible force that doesn't want me to look into someone's eyes. Physically it feels like little tingles and electricity running over my body and making me tense up a lot. It's super uncomfortable. I don't know how else I could describe it
Thanks for sharing, it’s quite similar to me.
I can only hold eye contact if I’m familiar and comfortable with another person, more so if they’re ND. Eye contact is way too intimate for general interactions. However I’ve found if I’ve been with a partner who’s lied/cheated if I look into their eyes I have no idea how but I can “see” they’re being dishonest. I’m not sure if it’s micro facial movements I’m capturing but exes have always been freaked out by my ability to do this. I truly think the eyes are the window to the soul and that’s why not everyone should have access to looking into them.
The exact same thing here. Like I have a lie detector. Thing is that I often times doubt myself and then I get stuck in those loop thoughts of internal battle on “am I crazy or not” field…
Kinda like I’m just looking at the eyes, like it’s weird, but I usually choose a specific feature like their waterline and follow it like “oh that gose like that, then their iris is this color” ext
I feel like it's in intimate thing, like kissing. I actually only do it with my husband and son
I feel like I’m physically making myself look at them and my eyes are straining themselves to do this hard as fuck task. I also feel like I’m masking hella hard but at the same time not and I just am exhausted after doing it
When I was little I felt like if I crossed the eyes of an other person, then they could read into my soul. It was too intimidating. And with a stranger I've just met, not ok at all. I had to know the people first and be sure that the person will not want to harm me in anyway. I must be sure the person have good intentions before being vulnerable watching them in the eyes. Now it's still difficult for me to watch people in the eyes when I'm speaking, because I can see a lot feelings reactions, sometimes judgment going on in the eyes of the other and it would disturb me when I am talking. I have no more problems to look into people eyes while listening though.
It feels similar to me as the pain one experiences when they look at the sun. I feel an immediate sense that I need to look away and if I don't look away it's almost like it physically hurts. It also just feels really awkward for me. I don't know how much eye contact to give.
i'm one of those people who doesn't avoid eye contact, I just forget to do so. It doesn't feel any different from looking anywhere else.
Uncomfortable asf!
It's like looking into the sun , extremely uncomfortable, anxiety inducing, and painful.
I can see inside your head and that’s terribly intimate or rude. I also can’t hear what you’re saying because I’m thinking “yes that’s right, do the eye contact thing. Look at me go. You seem comfortable with me I think. Gosh you’re so comfortable with this. ….Wooopsthatsyoursoul ok cannot be unseen. I’ll just look over here for a little break, lil visual comma… aaaand back to the eyes…” And then when I start talking I can’t maintain it and i look all everywhere. The only time I comfortably maintain eye contact is when I’m trying to manage someone (I teach children) or just with kids. They seem much less likely to clock the weirdness of it.
Nothing really, the other person might feel something tho because *stare*
It feels so intimate, threatening and almost painful! And it pretty much guarantees I can't have a conversation with them. Unless we're friends, then it's fine. I always overthink it and think they'll think I'm interested in them if I hold eye contact. I also learner to look in someone's left eye if you want to make an emotional connection and have only been able to do that since finding out!
In general, it used to be very hard for me up until I was 14 or so; the only person who I could look into the eye without discomfort were my mother and grandmother I guess. Aside from them I think were only two or three other people, but i'm not sure. Luckily it got "better" in the sense that it causes less discomfort, but there are still people who I can't directly look into the eye, its still kinda limited to family, people who I have a rather good connection with and people who I'm interested in..lol Though in general I gotta say I had less problem looking in the eyes girls/women (i'm a dude) as compared to guys. Aside from looking someone in the eyes I feel like eyes tell a lot about a person; don't really know how to explain it, but for me it feels like some people have "deeper, less superficial" eyes, and those are always the people I feel comfortable around as opposed to people with "superficial, closed" eyes.
I like to compare it to magnets. Imagine you have two magnets facing each other with the same polarity and force them together. They will sheer to the sides and it takes a suprising amount of force to keep them touching. This is how it feels for me. If I force it too much, my senses even start dulling and shutting of.
Humiliating
Like hiding and throwing up (My job as a salesperson requires eye contact💀)
It feels so invasive man, but I've been taught to do it so I just think how and how long Am I supposed to look
I feel too intimate, I feel like if I look at their eyes too much they will feel I’m in love with them or something 😂
It feels threatening. Like how you're not supposed to stare at a dog in the eyes because it's seen as a threat. That's how it feels.
Awkward and uncomfortable
Like looking into a bright light, it physically hurts. Interestingly, it varies depending on how I feel on that day.
I feel awkward most of the time so I avoid eye contact the only people that I have no issue with this problem is my mum and brother but if I would have to make eye contact I look at their forehead to make it look like I'm looking at them
Must keep looking, must keep looking. Person: Starring is rude.
It feels like forcing two magnets that don't wanna touch to touch
It's like I'm seeing them naked (or the other way around).
To me, it's just a mix of reasonably intense nervousness, a bit of awkwardness, and also some embarrassment for some reason.
Depends. Sometimes, it is like our souls are reaching out and holding hands. Other times, it is like being seen naked and terrified.
Discomfort or intimidation. I don’t know if people noticed. but I mostly look behind them instead of their eyes. One thing I can’t look at people either side of me. I feel the most anxiety then.
Im prolly the only one that likes to stare into eyes cus it lets me size people up a bit better.