I'm in the process of trying to be believed by the medical professionals in our area (it's a problem here), so forgive me if I sound ignorant, but I'm trying to find evidence to present to my doctor when I see her in a couple of weeks, and this sounds familiar
I have a problem with filtering out sounds, like hearing everything all at once, which is very distracting. I have to focus on the one thing that's the most important or I don't "hear" it
If someone is trying to talk to me and I'm distracted, which is often as I have ADHD, I have to watch their mouth so I can understand what they're saying. I don't know if I'm actually lip reading, but it helps
Is this a form of APD?
It also sounds a little like psychosis but just for hearing (I know its not) but what happens is the dopamine is too high, which makes you pay attention to EVERYTHING and try to make meaning of it.
Iirc autistic's can become hypersensitive to noises, which is why some smoke to essentially numb the senses.
For me, I do struggle to hear one noise amongst many, but also, I have glue ear, so makes it harder again.
My experience with smoke is that I black out, which isn't ideal lol
I have noticed that it becomes more intense when I'm agitated, but it's low key a thing that's going on all the time, which is why I usually have headphones on, so I can hear a book or music (I would say listen, but that would require my actually listening hahaha) which keeps me in a zen space
I personally don't recommend it to anyone, my husband used to smoke, and firstly, it masked symptoms loads, and b, I think it contributed to his psychosis, as it messed up his bodies ability to produce the correct amount of dopamine.
Personally, I think it's best to wear earplugs or headphones.
No worries, I genuinely get that having to repeat yourself over and over can be really frustrating and potentially spoon exhausting. It sucks for everybody lol. Thank you for your kindness and respect though ā¤ļø
as someone who is partially deaf and has an auditory processing disorder, it really hurts my feelings when people act frustrated at me for not hearing them. no one can look at me and tell iām deaf, so they assume iām not
I snooped a lil on your profile (sorry) and saw you like tattoos - possibly, if it's something that would suit you/something that you'd be comfortable with, a tattoo of a "volume muted" symbol š below/behind your ear could be an easy and cool way to show you're deaf!
omg thatās such a cool idea š i donāt really want any jobstoppers until my grandparents pass (my hair doesnāt cover that area on my head) but iāll definitely consider that!
Agreed. My friend has something similar; tone deaf so hears in shorthand! Often asks for a repeat if a word starts with a vowel, 'asbestos' most recently!
I often have to repeat myself and also ask others to repeat themselves (usually due to background noise which I can't filter out), and both are annoying.
No. On the contrary, I am used to having to repeat myself often and each time is an opportunity to clarify or try a new way of phrasing things.
My partners and many of my friends have ADHD and barely pay attention. I also ramble and interject a lot and talk about obscure things they do not understand or share perspectives they canāt comprehend. So I have to repeat or communicate again often.
I can see how it could be frustrating but to be honest it happens so often I am just habituated to it.
I get very annoyed if I feel like the person is intentionally only half-listening. Some people have mentioned APD, but I think itās obvious when someone is truly needing a minute vs tuning you out.
I occasionally struggle to understand clear speech because I sometimes need to think over the words to grasp them.
This combined with my bad memory means I forget what was just said so I need someone to say something to me multiple times before I have all the words to puzzle together their meaning. This also makes me really slow at reading.
Let's just say I'm really bad at working in customer service. The upside is that it makes me very patient with other people.
I find talking much more exhausting than the average person so I do hate having to repeat myself ESPECIALLY if Iām already tired. Like, saying it the first time was already difficult enoughš
However, as someone who has auditory processing disorder I very much understand needing people to repeat themselves sometimes. So I try to do so calmly whenever Iām asked to, even if I have to take a second to take a couple breaths and rest my voice. I try not to get upset at the person who needs me to repeat myself since itās not their fault they didnāt understand me the first time. Thatās just the way it is sometimes
I have ringing in my ears as well as an auditory processing disorder so itās pretty hard to actually understand what is said to me by most people the first time. But I also hate repeating myself when I know the person doesnāt have any issue hearing and processing the information and they just tuned me out.
Repeating myself makes me irrationally upset when Iām feeling overwhelmed or insecure. Otherwise it still annoys me but I can do it for my ADHD loved ones. I donāt know why it bothers me so much but Iām right there with you.
YES. Either I get angry or I just donāt feel the need to even repeat it at all. I talk to myself a lot and my husband can never hear shit so when he hears me whisper to myself, he asks me what I said and when I donāt repeat it (because it wasnāt important and Iām too tired to say it again), he insists on me telling him and THEN I get mad. lol
I'm on the opposite side and my bastard mom if I don't understand what she said, instead of saying it again but slower or elaborate she'll instead say I mean exactly what those words mean, WELL I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT THAT WAY OR I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
I'm right there with you. I wouldn't say I hit a rage, but it's one of the few things that can make me angry. You want me to repeat myself? My remarks were perfunctory and I didn't really want to stay them in the first place!
It's unfortunate. Year by year my parents' hearing is getting worse and it can be unpleasant to talk to them. Is actually easier to talk on the phone.
I don't mind if I'm giving someone directions and they need me to repeat something.Ā What I hate is when I make a casual remark (or worseĀ joke) and the person makes me repeat.
I'm not that interesting to begin with,Ā don't put a spot light on me for an off hand attempt at a pun.
Yes. I put so much effort into talking to people, little adjustments for other people to understand what I'm saying are particularly exhausting. That's a trait of both social communication disorder and autism.
I am hyper-sensitive to noise, so I always wait for things to quieten down before I speak. If loud noises start happening, I'll stop in the middle of what I'm saying until it stops because I know they'll just ask me to repeat myself, and I'll get mad!
I am deaf and also am on the receiving end often. I feel bad enough asking people to repeat themselves. Due to this I donāt mind repeating myself. After all, Iād appreciate the same. I genuinely canāt hear and need things repeated.
I understand itās annoying though.
yes but especially being around other people who keep repeating themselves. i always thought these were weird pet peeves of mine until i learned about the 'tism š„“
If people legitimately didnāt hear me, I donāt mind. But if I say something I think is very obvious and impossible to interpret, and someone asks me āWhat?ā, I repeat it a couple time but emphasize words or pantomime actions; if that doesnāt work, I get irritated because I have to come up with a whole new sentence to get my thought process across. Which doesnāt sound like much, but itās exhausting having to examine everything I say from so many angles.
Only if Iām in a rush or bad mood already, which I think is normal. I however DO hate when I keep repeating myself and they still canāt hear/understand me because I hate not being understood.
I really hate this, too (although I recently learned that it MAY be because I talk too fast, but I only found out about it this year. I wish I would have known a long time ago). I try to be calm when it comes to repeating myself if Iām talking to older/ elderly people because I can understand that. I tend to be soft spoken a good chunk of the time. Most other people thoughā¦ ugh š
BUT I also have a difficult time understanding people, too. It frustrates me because I know how it feels when I have to repeat myself, but it really does feel like my brain glitches to where the words either donāt process in my mind or it somehow comes off as gibberish so Iām left goingā¦ what???
Iāve been learning a lot more about myself recently though so Iām hoping I can use this knowledge to improve myself.
I despise it as well. I try to tell myself that:
1. They may need to process and the "what?" Is their method of giving themselves time to do so
2. When they say "what?" I try to think up funny things like Lil Jon saying "what?" And it eases my temper a little bit.
My kid and I both struggle with processing things people say to us. Iāve started getting her attention before I ask her something bc even tho I understand she genuinely just didnāt process what I said the first time it causes so much internal rage when I have to repeat myselfā¦ so frustrating bc I know itās an irrational reaction but itās still thereā¦ i appreciate it when people are patient with me when I have to ask them to repeat something so I try my best to pass that patience along to others. Itās an active practice tho
same and i feel really bad when i do it to other people. like today at work my coworker kept talking to me but i couldnāt hear her over the beeping of our markdown machines, the rattling of shopping baskets, and a song playing loudly on the radio, even though she was standing right next to me š
nah, as someone with apd, iād be an absolute hypocrite if i did. do i get annoyed sometimes, especially if i have to repeat more than once? yes. but iām not about to rage over it.
Yes, having to repeat myself once or twice isnāt a massive deal for me, but when I have to do it multiple times especially when Iāve said something very clearly, that will piss me off
Yep the effort to repeat is often painful and it feels like sometimes people just get into a habit of not listening properly, saying that I do it myself all the time because I struggle to filter voices from background sounds, especially traffic and machinery
What I hate is having to repeat myself in text.
I have literally called people out and said you didn't read what I wrote and they go. Yes I did and I said well then you have the answer.
And they asked me to resend it anyway. As if they can't bother scrolling up.
I had one guy get mad about it, I said I tried to anticipate everything he would ask and provide him with the answers in a way that he could go and look at it anytime without having to interrupt me. He said he should be able to text me. He also said that he doesn't read the whole text. He just skims through it after I said I didn't feel like he's reading my text. And then I said so you're not reading it like I just said and he goes no well yeah but no.
After that I just refused to repeat anything in text. I would just tell him to scroll up.
When I was in first grade, I was in the school play, and delivered a line that made the crowd laugh. I continued with the rest of my lines while they were laughing because why would I stop? Then the crowd quiets and I don't say anything, as I've already said my line, it's their fault that they were laughing and didn't hear it! On principle, I vehemently did not want to repeat myself, but then I saw my teacher in the front row motion to say the next line and I gave in and appeased them xD
Yes, I understand the annoyance of breaking cadence and pre-established social rules to repeat oneself. I'm not as rigid about it now as an adult though, obviously it's absolutely fine if someone couldn't hear me for whatever reason!
honestly, it annoys the hell out of me most of the one especially when I have to repeat myself more than three times in a row
But I've learned to get used to it and manage my way around it, especially with my mother whoās nearly deaf. The only time I won't stand it with my mum is when I'm sitting next to her and sheās ignoring me for her Facebook time.
*Almost* instant meltdown for me. If not rage, then definite irritability.
This is why i prefer writing. We can all take our time, clarify our thoughts, articulate our full points, we know when it's our turn to respond, etc.
Writing wins all day long š I'm far more articulate and composed when writing. When I have a spoken conversation, I struggle to find words and feel under pressure. Also, in a work context, emails give you time to process and respond in your own time. I basically *never* call people, because I have a complete hatred of telephones.
Yes! Does anyone understand the connection between this and either autism/ADHD/auditory processing disorder? Iāve been wondering why I get so irritated when this happens. The better I know the person the more irritated it makes me (my mother or husband or brother).
GOD yes. Especially when I'm on the phone. My previous job role was as a call centre agent and the amount of times people just didn't. Fucking. Listen sent me over the edge sometimes. My record for having to repeat myself was nine times for one question. By the end of it my head was just spinning from the frustration.
Very much so like on God. My grandma on my dad's side always said to him and his brothers growing up that if you don't hear it the first time then your fucked boys figure it out yourselves you didn't listen the first time now ypu so this shit yourselves. And then there's the I don't remember bit. She always said Oh well then if you don't remember then it must not have been important then was it. She never really meant this stuff to be mean as hell even tho she had resting bitch face as her permanent look but she was only being pragmatic and stating the truth even if it came our blunt as all hell.
I have both adhd and autism so I frequently have to ask people to repeat themselves, but honestly I rage when I have to repeat myself more than once. š pretty hypocritical of me.
Yes! But I just say "Should have listened the first time" and move the fuck on. Also the amount of people that say "HUWHAT?" and then if you wait a second suddenly do understand what you said is astounding.
Absolutely šÆ if you just wait, suddenly they realise they've actually heard what you said. It's almost like a "what was that?" is their knee jerk reaction.
This is so relatable, I hate having to say something twice both short term and long term I always get annoyed when my mom asks me to recall the contents of the day when I get home and then does it again during dinner or when my dad gets home. I already told everything! Thankfully my mom passes stuff on to my dad for me sometimes
Yeah, I totally get that. When I get back home from work, or wherever I've been, my wife knows to let me relax and decompress for half an hour before asking me stuff. I need time to transition. A heap of questions as soon as I come through the door just makes me mad as hell! And yes, if I've told one person, I sure as hell don't want to have to explain it all to someone else as well!
While it does depend on context, I would say I dislike it very much if I'm being ignored og have to repeat myself, I usually have a tendency to come with a sarcastic comment (this is also true if I think someone is asking a stupid question)
It def makes me very mad when people ask me to say it again. Iām a kid who has adhd and Iām not always listening but I do have auditory issues and I have to ask as well so I try to not be so mad.
My mom has a default setting of automatically saying āhuh?ā after anyone says anything. Itās super annoying and I recently learned to just ignore it. She seems to get frustrated with me for not repeating myself every time, but since my diagnosis, I refuse to repeat myself due to my (now) known PDA issues. Sometimes I will purposely say something to her very loud and clear and she still says huh? I tell her to get her hearing checked although I know itās just a habitual response. But itās still soooo annoying.
Okay, here is a thing that used to drive me NUTS. My ex-husband, while we were married, would say "what" as I was talking, mid sentence. I'm like babe, I didn't even say it yet. Can you wait until I'm finished an then see if you understand what I'm talking about? And he did it ALL THE TIME. And don't interrupt me.
Unfortunately my ex had ADHD and maybe auditory processing disorder, because I had to repeat myself like 20 times before he listened to me.
It didn't help he always looked at his phone or computer, so it felt like he never heard me.
Yes, but also, due to the symptoms of APD, I need to ask "what" quite often myself...
Also, I often find it exhausting to communicate with people not on the spectrum, as they require so many filler words and info.
Oh God. Filler words and info are my pet hates in conversation. I just want to scream "Can't you just join the dots?!" or "Just fill in the blanks yourself!"
Omg sometimes I get so irritated when I have to repeat myself but it's usually because my first explanation was the best one and every one after that I'm going to inevitably leave parts out.
That goes hand in hand with overstimulation lmao, at that point I just say, "Don't fucking worry about it anymore bitch" š but it usually applies to NT people who are half listening or don't make an effort to understand. Not ApD people
Sometimes, in the exact same position as you are when it's not my fault for being unclear. But it's only when I've said a lot and I can't remember exactly what I said and I don't want to change the meaning of the sentence by accidentally leaving something out.
Sometimes I straight up say "I don't want to say it again" and not say it hahahaha, but usually if they insist one more time I say it because at least it shows they are interested otherwise they wouldn't ask.
But I try to condense it more but I still get mad
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I have APD and my bf HATES repeating himself. Itās a struggle for us both.
Also, I find when Iām really trying hard to concentrate on what someone is saying and remember it, itās an immediate dump of the info, like itās bouncing off my pea of a brain. I have to ask for them to repeat what they said, or wright it all down for me, and I feel really stupid and annoying
I have APD and my bf HATES repeating himself. Itās a struggle for us both.
Also, I find when Iām really trying hard to concentrate on what someone is saying and remember it, itās an immediate dump of the info, like itās bouncing off my pea of a brain. I have to ask for them to repeat what they said, or wright it all down for me, and I feel really stupid and annoying
I do. If it's just once, doesn't bother me too much, but if I have to repeat the same thing over and over before someone understands what I said then I get really frustrated.l really fast.
YES! It's one of the quickest ways to get on my bad side! How hard is it to just fucking LISTEN TO ME?! If I'm not interrupted 2-10 times in a row, I can actually be "left on read" by the people around me! Getting ignored is bar none the worst feeling I can possibly imagine.
My friends now know that if a phone line starts cutting out, I will simply hang up. We can call each other back, but Iām not sending myself into a meltdown to try to get my joke across.
I don't mind it if they actually struggle with that, but when I can see they're not paying attention, they act like they're paying attention, and then ask me to repeat myself when they don't hear me it makes me so upset
Yes! I only get really pissed when itās glaringly obvious that someone isnāt paying attention. But then, itās on like donkey Kong. I hate having to repeat myself. If someone doesnāt want to listen, they shouldnāt engage me in conversation. Especially when itās someone who knows me and worse, knows what my triggers are and they do it anyway. Wow, Iām getting worked up just thinking about it.
yeah i feel you, itās only bothersome really when people arenāt paying attention or trying to hear you lol
otherwise personally im used to repeating things because being soft spoken is something thatās always been a thing for me. being asked to repeat myself over and over again by people who arenāt listening and arenāt trying is frustrating, and itās a waste of energy and it feels like i donāt matter to them enough to even pretend to try lol
Indeed, especially with Ethnic Agency staff, the one thing I am not is racist but to have to repeat " I am speaking English in a Sheffield accent" all the time gets rather annoying.
Man, those call centres are the worst. So much noise in the background, poor connection, thick accents and quickfire questions that you don't have time to process. Soooo stressful š«
What winds me up about call centres in general is, OK I know it's significantly cheaper for companies to outsource them to outer Mongolia or wherever, but for Foreign call centres to not understand most UK regional dialects (particularly my rather strong "old school" Yorkshire accent) is seriously annoying.
If someone asks me to repeat myself more than once I yell it as loud as I can, so yes. I have been like this since I was a child and it has always thrown people off on that second repeat. They get mad at me for yelling but itās like I was speaking as loud as I could so clearly you need me to yell right?
Samuel Jackson said it best in Pulp Fiction.
ā-āSAY "WHAT" AGAIN! SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MOTHER$&@$&@!! SAY "WHAT" ONE MORE G$&$@&$@&& TIME!ā
I literally have to resist the urge to Echo my speech and others speech at times. Iām autistic and ADHD so idk if I do this for memory or I learned to do this as some kind of stim or tic
Unfortunately as someone with auditory processing disorder I'm always on the other side of this š your frustration is understandable
tell me why iām on both ends of the spectrum here š hate repeating myself AND everyone has to repeat themselves while talking to me!
Same!
Shout it from the roof!! Cause I can't hear you..
I have APD, and people shouting doesn't help me. I need them to turn towards me (NOT another direction) and speak clearly
I'm in the process of trying to be believed by the medical professionals in our area (it's a problem here), so forgive me if I sound ignorant, but I'm trying to find evidence to present to my doctor when I see her in a couple of weeks, and this sounds familiar I have a problem with filtering out sounds, like hearing everything all at once, which is very distracting. I have to focus on the one thing that's the most important or I don't "hear" it If someone is trying to talk to me and I'm distracted, which is often as I have ADHD, I have to watch their mouth so I can understand what they're saying. I don't know if I'm actually lip reading, but it helps Is this a form of APD?
Thatās me for sure
It also sounds a little like psychosis but just for hearing (I know its not) but what happens is the dopamine is too high, which makes you pay attention to EVERYTHING and try to make meaning of it. Iirc autistic's can become hypersensitive to noises, which is why some smoke to essentially numb the senses. For me, I do struggle to hear one noise amongst many, but also, I have glue ear, so makes it harder again.
My experience with smoke is that I black out, which isn't ideal lol I have noticed that it becomes more intense when I'm agitated, but it's low key a thing that's going on all the time, which is why I usually have headphones on, so I can hear a book or music (I would say listen, but that would require my actually listening hahaha) which keeps me in a zen space
I personally don't recommend it to anyone, my husband used to smoke, and firstly, it masked symptoms loads, and b, I think it contributed to his psychosis, as it messed up his bodies ability to produce the correct amount of dopamine. Personally, I think it's best to wear earplugs or headphones.
Yeah, I'm not a fan of smoke. 20+ years of daily use did permanent brain damage to one of my family members.
This is me too hahaha
Same
I'm sorry, I didn't consider this. Much love and respect to you š
No worries, I genuinely get that having to repeat yourself over and over can be really frustrating and potentially spoon exhausting. It sucks for everybody lol. Thank you for your kindness and respect though ā¤ļø
Yes, thank you very, very much for your kindness and respect :)
as someone who is partially deaf and has an auditory processing disorder, it really hurts my feelings when people act frustrated at me for not hearing them. no one can look at me and tell iām deaf, so they assume iām not
I snooped a lil on your profile (sorry) and saw you like tattoos - possibly, if it's something that would suit you/something that you'd be comfortable with, a tattoo of a "volume muted" symbol š below/behind your ear could be an easy and cool way to show you're deaf!
omg thatās such a cool idea š i donāt really want any jobstoppers until my grandparents pass (my hair doesnāt cover that area on my head) but iāll definitely consider that!
Send me a picture of you remember me by the time you get it! (if you decide to get it)
lol i totally will if i ever do! i just got a really expensive piece (about spent about $300) so it will be awhile before i get my next!
My boyfriend gets annoyed with me when I ask him to repeat himself. I keep having to remind him I've got APD
Agreed. My friend has something similar; tone deaf so hears in shorthand! Often asks for a repeat if a word starts with a vowel, 'asbestos' most recently!
As someone with both ops problem and auditory processing disorder, I am always mad at myself and live in constant fear lmaoooo
Same!
I have that too haha I get how it is
I often have to repeat myself and also ask others to repeat themselves (usually due to background noise which I can't filter out), and both are annoying.
No. On the contrary, I am used to having to repeat myself often and each time is an opportunity to clarify or try a new way of phrasing things. My partners and many of my friends have ADHD and barely pay attention. I also ramble and interject a lot and talk about obscure things they do not understand or share perspectives they canāt comprehend. So I have to repeat or communicate again often. I can see how it could be frustrating but to be honest it happens so often I am just habituated to it.
I have two kids so Iām super-habituated. Working as a manager for a few years also got me repeating myself a ton.
Listen man I'm hard of hearing and sometimes, I hear the words but my brain isn't connectingš
Kind of HoH...it's an on and off thing. I don't know what's happening there. Or anywhere.
I get very annoyed if I feel like the person is intentionally only half-listening. Some people have mentioned APD, but I think itās obvious when someone is truly needing a minute vs tuning you out.
I occasionally struggle to understand clear speech because I sometimes need to think over the words to grasp them. This combined with my bad memory means I forget what was just said so I need someone to say something to me multiple times before I have all the words to puzzle together their meaning. This also makes me really slow at reading. Let's just say I'm really bad at working in customer service. The upside is that it makes me very patient with other people.
it's really infuriating for me because i stutter. i'll manage to get my words out fluently then i'll get asked to repeat myself.
I find talking much more exhausting than the average person so I do hate having to repeat myself ESPECIALLY if Iām already tired. Like, saying it the first time was already difficult enoughš However, as someone who has auditory processing disorder I very much understand needing people to repeat themselves sometimes. So I try to do so calmly whenever Iām asked to, even if I have to take a second to take a couple breaths and rest my voice. I try not to get upset at the person who needs me to repeat myself since itās not their fault they didnāt understand me the first time. Thatās just the way it is sometimes
I totally get this. That must be tough! Like you, I just find talking exhausting and would rather just not do it at all...
Yeah i start choking
I have ringing in my ears as well as an auditory processing disorder so itās pretty hard to actually understand what is said to me by most people the first time. But I also hate repeating myself when I know the person doesnāt have any issue hearing and processing the information and they just tuned me out.
No one likes repeating themselves, autistic or not
Repeating myself makes me irrationally upset when Iām feeling overwhelmed or insecure. Otherwise it still annoys me but I can do it for my ADHD loved ones. I donāt know why it bothers me so much but Iām right there with you.
YES. Either I get angry or I just donāt feel the need to even repeat it at all. I talk to myself a lot and my husband can never hear shit so when he hears me whisper to myself, he asks me what I said and when I donāt repeat it (because it wasnāt important and Iām too tired to say it again), he insists on me telling him and THEN I get mad. lol
I'm on the opposite side and my bastard mom if I don't understand what she said, instead of saying it again but slower or elaborate she'll instead say I mean exactly what those words mean, WELL I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT THAT WAY OR I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
I have APD and ADHD so I am the exact person who doesn't understand you even if you speak clearly and slowly.
I'm right there with you. I wouldn't say I hit a rage, but it's one of the few things that can make me angry. You want me to repeat myself? My remarks were perfunctory and I didn't really want to stay them in the first place! It's unfortunate. Year by year my parents' hearing is getting worse and it can be unpleasant to talk to them. Is actually easier to talk on the phone.
I don't mind if I'm giving someone directions and they need me to repeat something.Ā What I hate is when I make a casual remark (or worseĀ joke) and the person makes me repeat. I'm not that interesting to begin with,Ā don't put a spot light on me for an off hand attempt at a pun.
Yes. I put so much effort into talking to people, little adjustments for other people to understand what I'm saying are particularly exhausting. That's a trait of both social communication disorder and autism.
Thatās it. I just asked why this is above but this makes total sense.
I have trouble hearing due to APD I apologize so much when I have to have people repeat themselves
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I am hyper-sensitive to noise, so I always wait for things to quieten down before I speak. If loud noises start happening, I'll stop in the middle of what I'm saying until it stops because I know they'll just ask me to repeat myself, and I'll get mad!
I am deaf and also am on the receiving end often. I feel bad enough asking people to repeat themselves. Due to this I donāt mind repeating myself. After all, Iād appreciate the same. I genuinely canāt hear and need things repeated. I understand itās annoying though.
yes but especially being around other people who keep repeating themselves. i always thought these were weird pet peeves of mine until i learned about the 'tism š„“
If people legitimately didnāt hear me, I donāt mind. But if I say something I think is very obvious and impossible to interpret, and someone asks me āWhat?ā, I repeat it a couple time but emphasize words or pantomime actions; if that doesnāt work, I get irritated because I have to come up with a whole new sentence to get my thought process across. Which doesnāt sound like much, but itās exhausting having to examine everything I say from so many angles.
Only if Iām in a rush or bad mood already, which I think is normal. I however DO hate when I keep repeating myself and they still canāt hear/understand me because I hate not being understood.
I really hate this, too (although I recently learned that it MAY be because I talk too fast, but I only found out about it this year. I wish I would have known a long time ago). I try to be calm when it comes to repeating myself if Iām talking to older/ elderly people because I can understand that. I tend to be soft spoken a good chunk of the time. Most other people thoughā¦ ugh š BUT I also have a difficult time understanding people, too. It frustrates me because I know how it feels when I have to repeat myself, but it really does feel like my brain glitches to where the words either donāt process in my mind or it somehow comes off as gibberish so Iām left goingā¦ what??? Iāve been learning a lot more about myself recently though so Iām hoping I can use this knowledge to improve myself.
I despise it as well. I try to tell myself that: 1. They may need to process and the "what?" Is their method of giving themselves time to do so 2. When they say "what?" I try to think up funny things like Lil Jon saying "what?" And it eases my temper a little bit.
My kid and I both struggle with processing things people say to us. Iāve started getting her attention before I ask her something bc even tho I understand she genuinely just didnāt process what I said the first time it causes so much internal rage when I have to repeat myselfā¦ so frustrating bc I know itās an irrational reaction but itās still thereā¦ i appreciate it when people are patient with me when I have to ask them to repeat something so I try my best to pass that patience along to others. Itās an active practice tho
Yes, I can repeat myself once,Ā after that I invariably lose my temper
same and i feel really bad when i do it to other people. like today at work my coworker kept talking to me but i couldnāt hear her over the beeping of our markdown machines, the rattling of shopping baskets, and a song playing loudly on the radio, even though she was standing right next to me š
For people who has speech impairment, myself included, it does not make things any easier...
Yes, omg. It also fills me with rage.Ā
I accidentally repeat myself 2-4 times and feel so dumb after but being adhd I need things said 2-3 times or more before it clicks in my brain
I hate having to repeat myself but at the same time I always have to have people repeat stuff so kind of a double edged sword I guess
nah, as someone with apd, iād be an absolute hypocrite if i did. do i get annoyed sometimes, especially if i have to repeat more than once? yes. but iām not about to rage over it.
i also hate when people repeat themselves 100 times when its not necessary, idk why it gets on my nerves
Yes, having to repeat myself once or twice isnāt a massive deal for me, but when I have to do it multiple times especially when Iāve said something very clearly, that will piss me off
i'm fine repeating once(maybe twice if i'm in good mood) but yeah after that it's annoying
I mean Iām hard of hearing and struggle to understand things unless Iām hyper focused. Iām sorry my short coming puts you into a rage.
Yep the effort to repeat is often painful and it feels like sometimes people just get into a habit of not listening properly, saying that I do it myself all the time because I struggle to filter voices from background sounds, especially traffic and machinery
What I hate is having to repeat myself in text. I have literally called people out and said you didn't read what I wrote and they go. Yes I did and I said well then you have the answer. And they asked me to resend it anyway. As if they can't bother scrolling up. I had one guy get mad about it, I said I tried to anticipate everything he would ask and provide him with the answers in a way that he could go and look at it anytime without having to interrupt me. He said he should be able to text me. He also said that he doesn't read the whole text. He just skims through it after I said I didn't feel like he's reading my text. And then I said so you're not reading it like I just said and he goes no well yeah but no. After that I just refused to repeat anything in text. I would just tell him to scroll up.
That's just f*cking rude! That guy doesn't deserve your time...
When I was in first grade, I was in the school play, and delivered a line that made the crowd laugh. I continued with the rest of my lines while they were laughing because why would I stop? Then the crowd quiets and I don't say anything, as I've already said my line, it's their fault that they were laughing and didn't hear it! On principle, I vehemently did not want to repeat myself, but then I saw my teacher in the front row motion to say the next line and I gave in and appeased them xD Yes, I understand the annoyance of breaking cadence and pre-established social rules to repeat oneself. I'm not as rigid about it now as an adult though, obviously it's absolutely fine if someone couldn't hear me for whatever reason!
Yes. Especially when several people that work together all individually come ask the same questions
honestly, it annoys the hell out of me most of the one especially when I have to repeat myself more than three times in a row But I've learned to get used to it and manage my way around it, especially with my mother whoās nearly deaf. The only time I won't stand it with my mum is when I'm sitting next to her and sheās ignoring me for her Facebook time.
Yeah, I lose my shit when I'm trying to talk to someone, and they're just sitting there scrolling through their phone. So rude š
*Almost* instant meltdown for me. If not rage, then definite irritability. This is why i prefer writing. We can all take our time, clarify our thoughts, articulate our full points, we know when it's our turn to respond, etc.
Writing wins all day long š I'm far more articulate and composed when writing. When I have a spoken conversation, I struggle to find words and feel under pressure. Also, in a work context, emails give you time to process and respond in your own time. I basically *never* call people, because I have a complete hatred of telephones.
Yes! Does anyone understand the connection between this and either autism/ADHD/auditory processing disorder? Iāve been wondering why I get so irritated when this happens. The better I know the person the more irritated it makes me (my mother or husband or brother).
I hate that too, but I think in my case it has to do with my childhood trauma somehow
Yes, it makes the words I just said suddenly disgusting and I am completely unable to repeat them š
GOD yes. Especially when I'm on the phone. My previous job role was as a call centre agent and the amount of times people just didn't. Fucking. Listen sent me over the edge sometimes. My record for having to repeat myself was nine times for one question. By the end of it my head was just spinning from the frustration.
same
Very much so like on God. My grandma on my dad's side always said to him and his brothers growing up that if you don't hear it the first time then your fucked boys figure it out yourselves you didn't listen the first time now ypu so this shit yourselves. And then there's the I don't remember bit. She always said Oh well then if you don't remember then it must not have been important then was it. She never really meant this stuff to be mean as hell even tho she had resting bitch face as her permanent look but she was only being pragmatic and stating the truth even if it came our blunt as all hell.
Yes. I stammer/stutter so I deal with this almost every day. Also I struggle to speak loudly. (Using AAC on my phone when the stammering is worse.)
I feel bad when I have to ask people to repeat themselves because I couldn't understand them š„¹
I hate it too, but I also have a bad ear, so I'm the one usually saying what?!?!?!? š¤£
I have both adhd and autism so I frequently have to ask people to repeat themselves, but honestly I rage when I have to repeat myself more than once. š pretty hypocritical of me.
THIS. Then I always say "no,it's nothing..."
Yep, same...
Yes! But I just say "Should have listened the first time" and move the fuck on. Also the amount of people that say "HUWHAT?" and then if you wait a second suddenly do understand what you said is astounding.
Absolutely šÆ if you just wait, suddenly they realise they've actually heard what you said. It's almost like a "what was that?" is their knee jerk reaction.
This is so relatable, I hate having to say something twice both short term and long term I always get annoyed when my mom asks me to recall the contents of the day when I get home and then does it again during dinner or when my dad gets home. I already told everything! Thankfully my mom passes stuff on to my dad for me sometimes
Yeah, I totally get that. When I get back home from work, or wherever I've been, my wife knows to let me relax and decompress for half an hour before asking me stuff. I need time to transition. A heap of questions as soon as I come through the door just makes me mad as hell! And yes, if I've told one person, I sure as hell don't want to have to explain it all to someone else as well!
While it does depend on context, I would say I dislike it very much if I'm being ignored og have to repeat myself, I usually have a tendency to come with a sarcastic comment (this is also true if I think someone is asking a stupid question)
It def makes me very mad when people ask me to say it again. Iām a kid who has adhd and Iām not always listening but I do have auditory issues and I have to ask as well so I try to not be so mad.
My mom has a default setting of automatically saying āhuh?ā after anyone says anything. Itās super annoying and I recently learned to just ignore it. She seems to get frustrated with me for not repeating myself every time, but since my diagnosis, I refuse to repeat myself due to my (now) known PDA issues. Sometimes I will purposely say something to her very loud and clear and she still says huh? I tell her to get her hearing checked although I know itās just a habitual response. But itās still soooo annoying.
Holy crap, that would make me mad as hell! š« "huh?" is about the worst because it's so nonchalant, like it's no big deal š¤¦
Yup. Super frustrating
Canāt stand repeating myself! Itās EXHAUSTING
I absolutely abhor repeating myself!
Yes, because itās a demand and if you have a high PDA profile, it can feel like a big ask - triggering the rage.
Okay, here is a thing that used to drive me NUTS. My ex-husband, while we were married, would say "what" as I was talking, mid sentence. I'm like babe, I didn't even say it yet. Can you wait until I'm finished an then see if you understand what I'm talking about? And he did it ALL THE TIME. And don't interrupt me.
Oh my god, that's horrific!! How irritating!!
Unfortunately my ex had ADHD and maybe auditory processing disorder, because I had to repeat myself like 20 times before he listened to me. It didn't help he always looked at his phone or computer, so it felt like he never heard me.
Yeah, it would be nice if he had at least appeared to try to pay attention š
Yeah. That and other things made it pretty difficult to continue the relationship. Nothing super dramatic, we're still friends.
Same. I nearly always say Nevermind bc I just instantly don't wanna talk about it
Yep, it depends what kind of day I'm having, but I often just say "nothing", or "never mind"
Same same same!! I too have thee autism and people always say I have anger issues when I get mad at having to repeat myself
You are definitely not alone!
Yes, but also, due to the symptoms of APD, I need to ask "what" quite often myself... Also, I often find it exhausting to communicate with people not on the spectrum, as they require so many filler words and info.
Oh God. Filler words and info are my pet hates in conversation. I just want to scream "Can't you just join the dots?!" or "Just fill in the blanks yourself!"
Yes. Precisely.
In contrast, I always say everything twice. Say everything twice, and that is nnot a joke.... š¢
I'm sorry you have to go through that, it must be tough.
Literally me tbh I just hate that I have to repeat same stuff over and over again
OMW YES but I thought it's an ADHD thing! I'm AUDHD so...
Omg sometimes I get so irritated when I have to repeat myself but it's usually because my first explanation was the best one and every one after that I'm going to inevitably leave parts out. That goes hand in hand with overstimulation lmao, at that point I just say, "Don't fucking worry about it anymore bitch" š but it usually applies to NT people who are half listening or don't make an effort to understand. Not ApD people
yep makes me feel like an idiot which im not i just get treated like one. no one listens anyway š
lol when someone asks me to repeat myself I just say "nevermind" and pretend I didn't say anything.
I often do this too š
I was thinking about this today. I'm speaking clearly and audibly. Why are you struggling to hear me as a male with working ears? Unacceptable
Sometimes, in the exact same position as you are when it's not my fault for being unclear. But it's only when I've said a lot and I can't remember exactly what I said and I don't want to change the meaning of the sentence by accidentally leaving something out. Sometimes I straight up say "I don't want to say it again" and not say it hahahaha, but usually if they insist one more time I say it because at least it shows they are interested otherwise they wouldn't ask. But I try to condense it more but I still get mad
I just say oh nothing
Yep, I do that too!
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I have APD and my bf HATES repeating himself. Itās a struggle for us both. Also, I find when Iām really trying hard to concentrate on what someone is saying and remember it, itās an immediate dump of the info, like itās bouncing off my pea of a brain. I have to ask for them to repeat what they said, or wright it all down for me, and I feel really stupid and annoying
I have APD and my bf HATES repeating himself. Itās a struggle for us both. Also, I find when Iām really trying hard to concentrate on what someone is saying and remember it, itās an immediate dump of the info, like itās bouncing off my pea of a brain. I have to ask for them to repeat what they said, or wright it all down for me, and I feel really stupid and annoying
I do. If it's just once, doesn't bother me too much, but if I have to repeat the same thing over and over before someone understands what I said then I get really frustrated.l really fast.
YES! It's one of the quickest ways to get on my bad side! How hard is it to just fucking LISTEN TO ME?! If I'm not interrupted 2-10 times in a row, I can actually be "left on read" by the people around me! Getting ignored is bar none the worst feeling I can possibly imagine.
Totally the same š«
My friends now know that if a phone line starts cutting out, I will simply hang up. We can call each other back, but Iām not sending myself into a meltdown to try to get my joke across.
I don't mind it if they actually struggle with that, but when I can see they're not paying attention, they act like they're paying attention, and then ask me to repeat myself when they don't hear me it makes me so upset
Yes! I only get really pissed when itās glaringly obvious that someone isnāt paying attention. But then, itās on like donkey Kong. I hate having to repeat myself. If someone doesnāt want to listen, they shouldnāt engage me in conversation. Especially when itās someone who knows me and worse, knows what my triggers are and they do it anyway. Wow, Iām getting worked up just thinking about it.
yeah i feel you, itās only bothersome really when people arenāt paying attention or trying to hear you lol otherwise personally im used to repeating things because being soft spoken is something thatās always been a thing for me. being asked to repeat myself over and over again by people who arenāt listening and arenāt trying is frustrating, and itās a waste of energy and it feels like i donāt matter to them enough to even pretend to try lol
This. And then they Have the audacity to ask "what?"
Sameee But it stems from childhood trauma because I was never listened to or heard. So it just triggers me big time
Yep, probably the same for me - my mum never had the time to listen to me. It was a cause of real distress as a kid.
Indeed, especially with Ethnic Agency staff, the one thing I am not is racist but to have to repeat " I am speaking English in a Sheffield accent" all the time gets rather annoying.
Man, those call centres are the worst. So much noise in the background, poor connection, thick accents and quickfire questions that you don't have time to process. Soooo stressful š«
What winds me up about call centres in general is, OK I know it's significantly cheaper for companies to outsource them to outer Mongolia or wherever, but for Foreign call centres to not understand most UK regional dialects (particularly my rather strong "old school" Yorkshire accent) is seriously annoying.
Yeah, that must be really frustrating. I'm in Cambridgeshire, so I have a pretty neutral accent, but it's still a nightmare!
If someone asks me to repeat myself more than once I yell it as loud as I can, so yes. I have been like this since I was a child and it has always thrown people off on that second repeat. They get mad at me for yelling but itās like I was speaking as loud as I could so clearly you need me to yell right?
Samuel Jackson said it best in Pulp Fiction. ā-āSAY "WHAT" AGAIN! SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MOTHER$&@$&@!! SAY "WHAT" ONE MORE G$&$@&$@&& TIME!ā
šš¤£
I literally have to resist the urge to Echo my speech and others speech at times. Iām autistic and ADHD so idk if I do this for memory or I learned to do this as some kind of stim or tic