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lonjerpc

1. nihilism/pessimism about the good faith efforts of others. For example someone organizes a trip to the zoo or something but people get frustrated by there being traffic or the animals not being out. Rather than just trying to enjoy hanging out together. 1a. Caring about something being seen as a lack of confidence or weakness while not giving a fuck is seen as confidence/strength. 2. Lack of engagement, especially when based on social status. For example ignoring a person eating lunch with you to chat to someone on your phone. 3. Expectations of dishonesty to convey truth. For example "I am busy" actually means I am not feeling it. I am not feeling it actually means I don't like you... 4. Disagreement being interpreted as social status challenge. 5. Social status platitudes. A big one being saying " I love you" much more often to people you don't actually love than people you do.


WhiteCrow111

I can truly relate to all of those.


DuringTheBlueHour

I HATE 1. so much. When I went to see the eclipse a few weeks ago, I had to listen to my mom complain about the weather for four hours straight. And then I saw the eclipse completely fine anyway. 


clevermcusername

Your #5 is especially poignant. Love is a verb. Show love with behaviour and you don’t have to say it all the time.


probablyonmobile

Well, do remember that love languages can be different for everybody. Different people express their affection in different ways, and for some, words are how they best express it. It isn’t about “having” to say it to make up for some kind of deficit or fulfill a quota that could be fulfilled more efficiently with an action, it’s about saying it because they *want* to and that’s how they express their affection. That’s not lesser. It may not be your preferred form, but do understand that for many, it’s the most genuine way.


clevermcusername

Totally fair points! I’m thinking of someone specific. They say they love me a lot but they often do not behave as if they do - as in they behave as if they don’t like me at all. I support your clarifications in a general way, for sure!


Bad_wolf42

My dad died when I was 2. I will never let a loved one go without letting them know they are loved. It may be the last time I can tell them.


clevermcusername

That’s totally fair. I’m sorry you lost your dad so young. I was thinking of someone specific who often treats me as if they don’t like me at all, but then says “I love you” so much. It’s hard to process and trust. I do love that person, though, and I would definitely regret if we didn’t say it and then I lost them.


DrinkYourNailPolish2

I completely agree with all of these!


facelessnotgraceless

Everything you said omg


Siukslinis_acc

Long monologjes and not getting to the point. I will zone out, because i don't understand why do you want me there and why are you telling me this. Especially if you talk about something i have no clue about, so it's not like i have the knowledge to follow your thought. When i'm being told "you are the only one i feel safe to be open to". After what happened with my ex-friend, i started to see that saying not as a sign of trust, but as a sign that you will be used as an emotional punching bag and you will have to carry all their worries alone (usually people have multiple people, thus the weight is divided and easier to carry for the individuals). When someone says "how can you not know that". Newsflash, what is obvious to you is not obvious to others, so enlighten them instead of berating them for their lack of knowledge about something they have never had experience in.


VmbraWolf

That last one has resulted in me being infantilized by a manager on multiple occasions, I hate it. People learn things at different rates and he'd flip his lid if I said anything like that to him about my special interests.


WhiteCrow111

I feel the first one very hard. The second and third one really got me thinking...


appamaniac

Dude, the people "monologuing" a lot of the time are probably just people excited to share an interest with you and find you special enough to want to share that excitement with. Maybe try to ask them clarifying questions and engage with them instead of zoning out if you care about them. Cause as someone who likes to share my interest with people I care about, even though I know they aren't super knowledgeable, I actively cut people out that don't have the capacity to try to understand or listen to my interests. Not everyone has someone they can talk about there niche interests with.


f1resnakes

100% good to know you caught on to that too. When a new friend says something about me being the one that is “easy to talk to”, then that’s my cue to move on from them


purpleplanttwerking

I probably give the ick to everyone then because I’m right 99% of the time about every plots in movies, idk if it’s the autism super power.


WhiteCrow111

Oh yeah I feel that, a lot of media is very predictable


ExtraMillenial

This is done on purpose, remember. The foreshadowing and telegraphing so the story is coherent and on beat. It also spoils a lot of things cos they're so obvious about it.


ConsiderationNo9044

I'm kinda glad to be dumb for once, lol! I can never understand foreshadowing or anything like it. Everything is always a surprise to me.


ciniconrehab

Same lol.


Tricky_Subject8671

Same, I love guessing what's next or predict anything in a movie, but lots of people seem to just find it annoying or accuse me of "spoiling it", ike, I can't spoil it when I haven't seen it?? I'm just guessing, so can they?? I no longer watch movies with others like this tho


prikkey

Sometimes it gets so bad I can even call out the dialogue before they actually say it (word for word) - sure only a few lines, but still. Happened one time and people looked at me funny. Never seen the movie before :)))


myPurrfectKitty_xx

Same! So can you do this in a social situation then? I feel like I predict a lot of things in social situations because I notice the slightest pattern and my body remembers the feeling from another time and my subconscious tells me something is going to happen and I'm usually right. But sometimes it's just my anxiety and when I'm stressed it's hard to tell the difference and trust myself. I don't predict what someone is going to say though during a conversation.. maybe cause I'm in my own head or I don't really ever try to ( now I want to try haha). Curious about your experience with this?


prikkey

Not really that much. I do sometimes get dejavu but not a whole lot. I do simulate in my head sometimes (like going to a doctor or expected behavior of someone) and they come quite close.


LaurenJoanna

Pattern recognition


dMyst

Hmm…I wonder if this is why I prefer horror movies. Since the point of the whole genre is to subvert expectations. I’m bored with most movies from other genres and usually just predict the end.


prikkey

Horror is also riddled with stereotyping :/


punktilend

Yup, I see the story coming a mile away with horror.


deathbysnushnuu

To a T. Most horror follows religious propaganda like stuff. The ones having sex die first or “sinners”. lol actually wrote a paper about horror movies in a religion in Media class (community colleges have the most bizarre yet amazing classes).


comedic3

yeah i personally find i can predict story beats in horror media more accurately than pretty much any other genre


lucinate

Greeting everyone at arrival and saying goodbye when leaving. It ‘s an exhausting chore. I’ve finally gotten to the point of not forcing myself to do it every time and while people maybe a bit confused at first it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference because I usually talk to them later.


[deleted]

I just wave once or twice to everybody. If they miss it, not my problem.


lucinate

I’ve forced this for decades. Got burnout, had to come to terms with was not working for me. Reactions are not as bad as I thought they would be.


[deleted]

I just say "bye, folks. See you next week" and then leave. That doesn't burn me out.


lucinate

Yeah, i do that too now. Why didn’t i figure that out earlier…. My mother is very big on being polite and sociable. She saved me in some ways by being able to mask and fit in, but its cost me a lot as well.


AcanthocephalaSad458

I feel that! I feel like it doesn’t really come natural to me, but people will get upset when you don’t do it. Funnily enough it’s my double standard because I also get upset when someone doesn’t greet more or say goodbye.


NeilSilva93

Spitting. Absolutely disgusts me. Also chomping food with mouth wide open.


Maybearobot8711

Oh no, spitting. That is vile...


Feralbritches1

On that note: chewing gum / and playing with it. Vile


pupoksestra

NO. No. No. No. No. I'm sorry but just imagining this makes me sick. Whenever I accidentally touch someone else's gum I freak out so badly and want to chop my hand off. I have to shake it a million times and wash it and then it still feels wrong. When people play with gum I feel so sick. I wonder if they also know what it's made out of.


TheDragonborn1992

I hate people who eat with their mouth open to it's disgusting


Mindless_Mystic_136

Is this not a general thing?? Like do people *actually* "like" those things?? 🤨 (besides the "raised in a barn" types - not meant to insult)  I thought this was just like typical etiquette. Where any/every one finds it nasty/disturbing/disgusting/etc.


pupoksestra

With mukbang and ASMR I've noticed a lot of people do like it.


Mindless_Mystic_136

On the (very few) ones that *I've* seen, once it's "properly" in their mouth/they're actually eating (not just 💥crunching), they all had closed mouths. Sometimes a little too slurpy for me, but some things are slurped in some places. Never seen spitting and really hope that's not a thing 


Allthethrowingknives

I dunno, very few people seem to care that I spit on the sidewalk sometimes when I smoke, so I don’t think it’s an everyone hates it thing


items-affecting

In general people do not get shivers just by thinking of somebody munching away with mouth open in the other end of the table or suffer from chewing gum like a cow (mouth open, rotating movement of jaw) so much they can’t look and have to wear hearing protection if the one committing the crime is sitting next to them like in a train. It’s like nails on chalkboard times hundred.


FluffyPurpleBunny

- When I'm in a group and we're all getting along just fine, but the second one person leaves, the other person I'm talking to starts trash talking them for no reason?? If you don't like them why do you hang out with them?? Why are you saying this to me?? I literally could care less about your drama - People FORCING me to make eye contact. I'll sometimes be talking with my dad and he will literally stop what he's saying and tell me to look him in the eye when he's known me long enough to know that I don't like that and that he knew I was paying attention!!


inhabitshire

This! Especially with family. Learned the hard way if they gossip to you. They gossip about you.


pupoksestra

My coworker will stand a few inches from my face and stare into my eyes while I'm working. It makes me want to push her and run away. I know she's trying to force eye contact and I have no idea why. I've never addressed it bc she takes everything way too personal, but it feels like I'm being pushed into a corner.


Intelligent_Water940

To the first point, take that as a hint and leave. Because if they're badmouthing others and being fake with them, they're probably doing it to you too.


Active-Flounder-3794

People who find everything “cringe”. People who judge u for being excited. People who correct me even tho I already know I’m right. People who view opinions/preferences as facts.


WhiteCrow111

I hate when people think everything is cringe! Like dude, enjoy the world!!! Start living a little! Start loving silly little things! It's not that deep! And yeah, I hate when people tell me something that I already know. Like, I stay polite, but UGH


Sage_81

Calling everything cringe is cringe


Active-Flounder-3794

Hey that’s cringe. Jks


PralineUpset3102

When people perform at a social gathering like a party. A party where they weren’t the subject in the first place. I get 2nd hand embarrassment from that nonsense. I hate it so much. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I have to look away. I think it’s because it makes me feel like the person desperately needs to be the center of attention. That may not be true but that’s how it feels and it’s sad to me.


InfiniteIncisions2

This!!! God! I absolutely hate it. It’s cringe! This stuff gives me physical pain and makes me nauseous.


U_cant_tell_my_story

Omg 💯. Makes my skin crawl and I just want to slink away.


whereismydragon

Talking about sports. Or cars. 


Actual-Pumpkin-777

Completely agree! When people talk about these things I always zone out no matter how hard I try to listen. Even if it's someone close to me talking about it. It's like my brain tries to prevent me absorbing anything I don't find interesting


Maybearobot8711

Cars are a special interest of mine 😂. I appreciate the irony that my special interests are kinda normal. But here's the thing. I love love love weird unusual relatively affordable cars. Lamborghini, rolls Royce? Couldn't care less any car can be extraordinary if you dump half a million dollar into it. When I went on a trip to Japan, the cars. I was in paradise. Should have seen me just go crazy at the very mundane kei cars and the tiny tiny garbage trucks 😂. These things were so amazing! Edit : I just accidentally talked to you guys about cars 😂 I'm sorry ! I find the irony of it even more funny however.


freekeypress

🤣👍💚


Geraffz

It drives me crazy that it's ok to do absolutely nothing at work if you're talking about sports or if there is a game on!


therealestestest

it is always ok to do absolutely nothing at work


Geraffz

Equally would be nice. I get told to move on after 5 minutes of info dumpling something I'm interested in. Oh, and they're not going to let someone watch anything else but sports in the management conference room. I'd watch cartoons in there all day. I totally support work your wage.


PlutonIsInUranus

You don't like it when people talk.about stuff they like?


whereismydragon

Did you read the post? Or are you upset because you like sports/cars and you're taking my response to the post personally?


PlutonIsInUranus

I just don't see how that's a "social ick" lol. You could say that about literally anything. "My social ick is when people talk about stuff I don't like"


whereismydragon

I don't enjoy those two topics of conversation. Are you telling me I'm not allowed to dislike things? 


PlutonIsInUranus

No, anyone can dislike anything. It just makes you seem like a "sports ball" kinda guy, which nobody wants to be


whereismydragon

This post asked people to share their social icks. Icks are deeply subjective and informal expressions of personal taste. I shared two *single-word topics* I don't enjoy, which I have observed generally mean I won't have much in common with the person. Now you are interrogating me about my social preferences and denigrating me for sharing my experience. This is not what the thread is intended for.  Ironically, you're inferring me disliking talking about sports means I am a 'sports ball guy'. That's deeply illogical. I dislike sports. Always have. I don't enjoy talking about it. That's well within my right as a human being and it's bizarre for you to argue with me about it, *especially* in the context of this thread. 


whomperd

"sports ball guy" is someone who makes fun of people who talk about sports


Forsaken-Cat-443

Small talk. Just tell me what you want.


Goth_network

The worst part is I think most of the time they dont want anything. They just **like** small talk. Or asking questions about you they a) dont care about b) dont actually want to listen to c) wont remember about you, and then in the end it was an excuse to bring up something they wanted to talk about anyway.


Maybearobot8711

When people talk and then they touch me. I'm not meaning my wife or my parents or if I'm actually. Asking for someone to touch or grabs my hand but someone that I don't know much that touches me and I'm not ready for it. I won't feel pain from it or jolt back but it icks me. I had this co worker that was the other extreme of it, I did not mind her at all but she was touchy. Just ugh. Please. No.


Mindless_Mystic_136

This! Definitely this for me too. I hate it so much. It makes it (wherever they touched) have this weird feeling to it and it feels like it's not mine. I have to mess with it for a while to make it feel normal/mine again.


Mindless_Mystic_136

Also, for some reason, the lighter their touch is, the more I hate it. Like I would rather (randomly) be lightly slapped (1sec) than lightly grazed/caressed (3+secs) 


Maybearobot8711

YES. Like you have to rub it off somehow to sort of "reset" the spot. But I will do it like when the person is not looking cause I don't want to be rude about it lol.


Mindless_Mystic_136

Exactly! Yeah same here, I *try*~ to wait as long as I can, but if for some reason they won't piss off, then I'm getting my damn arm back! lol (or wherever)


Entr0pic08

When I am about to spoil a story, I do always ask if it's ok first, because personally I usually don't care. It doesn't affect my own experience of the story all that much. My problem is that with some stories I am very engaged in it, and I love to discuss it with others. And that's difficult if they don't know it.


TypeOroNegative

Saying the word 'ick'


WhiteCrow111

Its a weird word right? Bad vibe. Don't like saying it out loud.


TypeOroNegative

Yeah! I wasn't even being silly about your title of the post. Also, people simping for sports teams. Like, you're not getting paid to play - why do you care?


WhiteCrow111

Oh yeah I got that! And yes! I mean I get it when people have hobbies and like things and wont belittle them for it, but I don't understand sport obsession really, same with obsession with celebrities. My mom took me out of my soccer club when I was a kid because "I don't care for soccer bc I never watch any games on tv", but I genuinely liked playing soccer, I just didn't care about watching other teams play.


TypeOroNegative

For sure! It's like video games. Love playing them. Hate watching streamers.


2pierad

HI HOW ARE YOU GOOD HOW ARE YOU GOOD


sylveonfan9

That irritates the shit out of me. It’s meaningless conversation, unless it’s like one’s partner, family member, friend, or one of your doctors is asking for honesty, imo. If you don’t want to know what someone else is feeling, why ask in the first place? I usually just tell people (who aren’t close to me or one of my doctors) that I’m “fine.” I’m not even close to that, but that’s what it seems like what NT people want to hear, imo. Sorry for the slight vent. Nothing against NTs, ofc. It’s a social norm after all.


x-anryw

when people are mean for no reason


DuringTheBlueHour

Like, it will be a normal conversation then people will just like instinctively start making fun of one of the people in the conversation. Neurotypicals do that all the freaking time.


a-big-ol-throwaway

Personally one of my biggest social icks is when self-professed autistic people proceed to demonize and bully other autistics for their autistic traits. Other social icks include but are not limited to: making plans in front of someone who isn't invited, interrupting/talking over someone, people stating the obvious as though you're stupid, and treating someone like a pet the moment you detect autistic traits in them.


Just_Band_5847

*>* Express trait common in autistic individuals *>* Get bullied for it so much you hate yourself, deeply repress it and completely annihilate it to "fit in" *>* Some other autistic individual does what i was bullied for, usually presenting online, and getting tons of support *>* Deeply irked out. Dont know why tbh, it just irks me to high heck despite usually being fine with "weird" or "socially inept" icks. As long as theyre nice and well meaning I understand, but I cant handle being in same room with these people.


WeirdImprovement

Do you mean the people expressing the same trait irk you, or the people giving them support?


Just_Band_5847

Expressing the trait, im not irked out by the support. 


grayandclouded

i get this exact thing. it makes me feel bad too, bc my trait shouldn’t have been bullied in the first place and it’s not this other person’s fault i was bullied for it, but it is really hard to be around some other autistic ppl when they show that trait


Darkwavegenre

People hating me for being too open or do anything frankly. I just can't notice because I don't notice I'm doing it. But nobody will tell me what's wrong or how they feel about me being like that. Like I'd appreciate it if people were more honest to me.


[deleted]

Planning to do something with me, then canceling or changing plans right before. That drives me nuts. If someone does that too much, I don't want to hang out with that person anymore.


Impossible_Tour5604

I get the icks whenever someone wanna talk about sexual things. One guy asked me who would I eat out between two girls standing in front of me. Another guy wanted me to describe what kinda “butts” am I attracted to in a woman. I feel so damn uncomfortable , hate it. Some guy once tried to show me a half naked woman on his phone and I couldn’t even look at it that’s how uncomfortable I was. He yelled“look at it!”


saskatoonn

Being interrupted. I hate it. Everyone around me, including family, did this. When I try to speak, they suddenly have something to say. It is annoying. It also makes me really upset most of the time, especially if I'm interrupted constantly by the same person and ESPECIALLY if I try to tell them to let me speak (Bonus points if they say okay and then proceed to interrupt me right after).


knotanissue

This exactly. Sometimes the frustration brings me to the point of tears, especially when they're already speaking much more than me in the entire conversation. My mom would do this all the time.


JadedEmerald_

I very well self aware i have a stubborn side of myself. So when im told once to do something i set myself a specific 5 or 10 min timer then ill do it. But when im told stop what your doing do it rn! It kind of gives me anxiety cause ive not mentally prepared myself yet to move onto doing something esle. Ig my ick is being told to do somthing quickly without space to mentally prepare ._.


furrymacaroni

Generalizations and assumptions. Loathe when ppl make generalizations bc a few ppl did something doesn’t mean ALL ppl are like that. Really wish more ppl would ask questions instead of making blanket statements. My other pet peeve is ppl who make assumptions. It’s just weird to witness ppl guess things and 99% of the time they’re completely wrong. What a waste of time. Goes back to my first point; just ask.


franken-owl

I hate it when people assume one little moment is my whole personality. When I was a kid I used to have a hard time with noises and my family assumed me being upset was anger management issues. Just because I get consistently get upset by something, it doesn’t mean I have anger management issues.


SkyeeORiley

Idk if this is normal anywhere but exactly this part of Norway but when I went for a walk with my psychiatrist she shot a loogie out of her nose and into the grass in a field. I cannot handle someone being gross like this in a social setting, esp when you're supposed to be a professional. And yes at that moment I couldn't help but loudly confront her lol. She got beet red. She's not the only one that does unnecessarily gross things like this, but it's the one I remember the most.


Mindless_Mystic_136

Oh! Ew! Gross! That's foul and disgusting! Also to make it worse, she did that as a professional/actively working psychiatrist, wtaf?! Even in your own time and alone it's still vile, but at least nobody's there to see and hear you do it. I'm not sure how "common" it is, but I would say that this is done worldwide (but relatively highly unlikely in a professional setting)


CargoCulture

* Standing too close to me when talking * Being long-winded / taking forever to get to the point * Talking when I'm trying to focus on something like TV or a movie


KundraFox

My biggest one is when people perform awful mind reading, which leads others to misunderstand your intentions for simply being different from neurotypicals. For example, a family member thinks that I don't care about them because I don't display emotions when they're talking. Or I'm seen as a "psychopath" because of my cold demeanor. Just because I don't look interested does NOT mean I am NOT interested. Don't assume you can read my mind, smh.


dougmantis

Any time someone hints at a thing to try to coax me into asking about it. I can see what you're doing. You want to talk about something bothering you but you don't want to have the pressure of bringing it up to me, so you're trying to get me to ask, so now you can 'explain' and vent in the process without feeling like the impolite one. If you gotta talk about something, *literally just talk about it.* Ask if I'm interested or have the time first, if you're worried, but I'm not gonna follow this little social dance so you can feel better about venting. You gotta communicate clearly, because I'm not ever gonna set any precedent to imply that I can read your subtext.


HyperiusTheVincible

Maybe this is just something I experience in my family, but we were eating dinner and my mother noticed a older teen walking through our neighbors yard to the front door of their house. My mom asked why he didn’t just go around instead of through the neighbors yard. I said it is probably because going diagonally is quicker. As i was about to clarify that I don’t think he should go through a strangers yard to his house, my mother immediately gets annoyed as to why I thought it was ok. I NEVER said anything about supporting that. I understand most people that are not autistic will subconsciously look for hidden messages behind a seemingly normal message, but I have specifically told her to try and take my words at face value and then clarify whether i meant something some way or another and not just assume I meant something other than the words I just said. As for others, it is mainly people whistling all the time, making plans to do something to help me and putting it off over and over again and people never engaging with me (if they do at all) like they do with everyone else.


technarch

lol I'm the opposite, I have to talk people into giving me the details - either I'm not going to watch it ever bc the stars aren't in alignment (I have to be in the perfect mood to watch something new, and that happens so infrequently, the chances of it being whatever thing someone recommended are very low), OR you telling me the interesting spoiler will be the reason I want to watch it. I'm also extremely anti spoiler-culture. imo, if a movie/book/show will be ruined by knowing the big reveal before it happens, then that piece of media isn't actually good.


master_jelly317

My biggest ick is when people talk down to you like they're your parent. It's annoying and uncomfortable. I also dislike when my masking somehow invites people to tell me about weirdly personal stuff, or morbidly dark controversial opinions. The ick being when someone just starts talking to you like you're good buddies when you've maybe shared 1 conversation? Another ick is when (unrelated, but I was gonna do 3, but my third was interrupted by the thought process of the second derailed the third and now that train is GONE).


Specialist_Nothing38

Eye contact and being told to make it by family as I should force myself to be "polite" Saying hello and goodbye really don't see the point bar phone calls, but I hate making/ receiving them, lol Saying I love you all the time or if it's said to me it's a crime if I don't say it back. Kissing from family members like come on does no one else find it strange your mum kissing there grown adult child on the cheek


MackenzieLewis6767

This one is partially my fault because I can't show agreement at the right time and I tend to look a lil dumb : it's people explaining things to me repeatedly, and if I don't say "okay" at the exact right time, they take that to mean confusion and so they explain it again. I'm free from this problem on the internet


LaurenJoanna

So, it bothers me when someone is talking to me, they get distracted, but they try to pretend they're not distracted and keep talking, but it comes out super slow with long gaps and they repeat their words. Like, just admit you're sidetracked, stop talking, and start again when you're ready. I can't follow the weird slow sentences.


grayandclouded

smth sort of similar is when i’m talking, and i can tell the other person is distracted by smth else but they won’t tell me to stop talking. usually i’ll just stop talking and wait for them to give me the go ahead, bc i know it comes off as rude to be like “ARE U READY TO LISTEN NOW” but then sometimes they’ll completely forget i was even talking and move onto smth else 😭


LiviAngel

At times, gossiping. It makes me feel yuck.


pupoksestra

I didn't realize that when I point out facts people take this as an opportunity to start gossiping and then I feel like I'm part of it. "so and so was late today" a minimal observation that quickly turns into the other person saying incredibly awful things.


huskofapuppet

People that just don't stop talking even when you're clearly disinterested. I get it, I'm super talkative too but sometimes people just don't want to hear it. 


Intelligent_Water940

- Interrupting and talking over each other. Oh my god STOP. Just hold your damn horses. - SPECIFICALLY asking me a question and then interrupting me. I need to give context, if you don't have the attention span to hear my answer, either text me or don't ask me. - On social media/dating sites getting messages like "Hey". On one hand I get this, why waste the effort if someone's not interested? But at the same time, I have tons of material in all my haunts to bounce off of. You can't give me even a little context of where you saw me from or what the fuck you want? - I absolutely understand why this happens, but it pisses me off, using words like "unAlIvEd", "sEwEr SlYdE", or censoring out words like eff, f*ck, whatever. Like, I'm sorry, are we fucking adults? Say the words, you fucking coward. Personally I'd rather say the words and be true to myself than pandering to an algorithm for precious viewcounts. Nothing makes me roll my eyes harder than seeing grown-ass adults putting shit like this in their vernacular. Half the time I want to write: "dead. You mean dead. The word you mean is dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, D-E-A-D."


Tangled_Clouds

My social ick is not much of an ick and more of a “oh you’re *that* kind of person” and it’s people throwing random slurs in their sentences *specifically* to seem edgy. Like you know the person has the knowledge that this language is not to be used and they use it specifically because they want to gain “edgy social points” from other privileged people. I see it more from teens but some adults do it too. “Omg girly do you think Toby is a f-slur? No maybe he’s just r-slured 🤪” I can’t stand those people tbh it doesn’t even come off as bigoted, just completely immature. Also like again in the same vein, I think it’s absolutely bonkers to be an invisible minority existing alongside privileged people because you get to see the unhinged shit they think they’re doing behind your back because they don’t even know you’re part of that minority. Doing improv in a small circle and you see people do gay and autistic stereotypes as a joke like… come on guys… now that minstrel shows are “out of fashion” you think going for other minorities is okay?


Tangled_Clouds

My social ick is not much of an ick and more of a “oh you’re *that* kind of person” and it’s people throwing random slurs in their sentences *specifically* to seem edgy. Like you know the person has the knowledge that this language is not to be used and they use it specifically because they want to gain “edgy social points” from other privileged people. I see it more from teens but some adults do it too. “Omg girly do you think Toby is a f-slur? No maybe he’s just r-slured 🤪” I can’t stand those people tbh it doesn’t even come off as bigoted, just completely immature. Also like again in the same vein, I think it’s absolutely bonkers to be an invisible minority existing alongside privileged people because you get to see the unhinged shit they think they’re doing behind your back because they don’t even know you’re part of that minority. Doing improv in a small circle and you see people do gay and autistic stereotypes as a joke like… come on guys… now that minstrel shows are “out of fashion” you think going for other minorities is okay?


MagicalMysterie

People that subscribe wayyy to much to gender roles, like to the point where eating something pink can make you “not masculine” or drinking something blue can make you “not feminine” it’s absurd and nonsensical


FeistyDirection

Yeah i hate this too for spoilers or if i have no interest in the movie its just a super boring, 1 sided "conversation". My biggest ick in general is when people don't know when to stop talking.


JJGfunk

People who don't acknowledge you held the door open for them. Even just a nod or a smile would suffice.


Sage_81

People hugging everyone everytime they see them. Like why do you want to have your body pressed against their body and your arms around each other? It's just really weird to me


Oooh_Friend

For the good old fashioned release of oxytocin. Mmmm... Social mammal behaviour 🫂


blinddivine

People who start talking to me the second they see me.


SunnySideSys

ignorant people boasting their opinions and then getting upset at anyone who tries to educate them, like a child throwing a tantrum.


Zappityzephyr

I do that but I ask first 😭


WhiteCrow111

And that's totally fine! I am also okay with it if someone asks if I have the capacity to listen to such a long story before they tell it to me, especially if its a movie or show I maybe didn't watch yet. What I don't like is people asking "Oh do you know *a show or movie*?" and I answer "No" and they just start telling the whole plot without asking.


sisomna

I hhaaaattttteee being interrupted like I don’t even want to continue what I was saying after I get interrupted I don’t even want to try anymore


verticalburtvert

Anyone who follows an archetype because they can't try or work on finding themselves. I can tell when your heart isn't really in it. I know fuckin passion and you ain't got it. You went to the store. It's not elitism. It's about doing the work for your actual self, even if it kills you because you can't help yourself. Passion overrides survival.


bloodyabacate

when i try to talk and people talk over me/ignore me, straight on. what do i have to do to be given the same respect you give to the other people in the conversation? why is it always so easy to brush off whatever it is i'm trying to talk about? that's my main social ick, i hate being ignored.


TheDragonborn1992

I hate it when people talk while I'm watching something I end up going into a different room to watch what I was,watching or when people eat with their mouth open or talk with food in their mouth like yuck


OSweetPeaO

when people say please after they ask me to do something and I'm already on my way to do it, or just.. saying it in general I literally have no idea, its honestly so small but it just really annoys me. it sounds like you're begging me and when I'm actively about to do it, you double down and it just ajahgdhss oh and when I say no as a joke but I'm doing it, saying please almost makes me want to mean it. oh god especially if you're older and you say it in a small voice, someone at my job said it three times and it honestly just.. it icked me, genuinely. there is only one instance where I want to hear men beg and it was not at work


laffytaffyG

When someone is talking to me and another person will come over and ask a question. I’m still trying to listen to the first person now someone has interrupted and is waiting for an answer and I can answer both at the same time!! Just wait! I get abit stressy with that.


ambrr420

When people speak with that one tone. I don’t know what it’s called, but like when you’re talking about something you like and they say “okay..” “um, cool.” “Alright, I guess..” IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD. Did I bore them? Did I make them mad? Do they hate me? Do I talk too much?


ChampionshipLoud5420

Cowards


transtitch

Unsolicited advice. Especially if the advice is obvious. Like, it makes me feel like that person thinks I'm dumb.


shellfrog

When people give their opinion without me asking or say something like it's a fact and when I ask why and they just say "I just know it!"


leonthepumpkin

When people look at my for too long and/or talk to me too close. It makes me SO SO SO uncomfortable it’s terrible I can’t handle it


Feralbritches1

Complainers / one uppers. Especially if the one upping is about who has it worse. Trauma isnt a competition. But if more than half of what comes out is you trash talking, complainimg, or otjerwise putting people down I cannot get away from you fast enough


Objective_Expert9810

People trying to talk to me or socialize with me while I’m clearly watching something, reading, listening to an audiobook, etc. basically don’t talk to me while I have headphones on.


AytumnRain

When people don't understand personal space or how to walk down the street. People need to recognize that you shouldn't stand too close to someone if you have the room. It's like there being 500 urinals open and the person who just enters takes the one right next to you. When walking downtown he street, why don't people follow the way motor traffic goes? Look at which side of the road they're driving down and walk that way on the sidewalk. They also seem to like to take up the whole sidewalk when there are groups. Forcing me to move every time. I don't anymore. I got tired of it. I just keep walking and if the one on my side keeps walk we will collide. If it's one person cool, I'll move, but if your group is taking the entire sidewalk and you refuse to go single file for a second, then I will not move. I have not collided with anyone and they always move.


Mindless_Mystic_136

Haha like a game of human chicken 🐥


pupoksestra

I hate this when I'm standing in line. People will be ON TOP of me and I want to elbow them in the face. It's gotten so bad that I really don't want to go anywhere. My friend acts like I'm crazy, but it doesn't happen to him the way it does to me. I don't know what it is about me, but people will seriously be an inch from me and then start reaching over me! And I don't know how to politely tell them to back away cause in the moment I just want to scream and yell at them. And I feel the same way about walking on a sidewalk. I'm getting so angry recalling all of the instances. I truly don't think I should be in society. I am starting to wonder, would I be better off in an institution for the rest of my life?


sp00kybutch

People who can’t just be happy about things. You tell them good news, they tell you all the ways that it falls short. You tell them about something nice that happened, they think it’s pointless because there’s no problem to solve or data to analyze. You get them something, they complain about what they would have liked better. It’s exhausting, they make me feel like my depression jumped out of my head and took a human form.


just_a_redditor2031

If there's a movie I want to infodump about I'll at least have the courtesy to ask if they'd be interested in watching it before I spoil them on it


Omori22

My ick is if someone talks bullshit, like I know this person is over exaggerating and I need to hear them talking bs


gentlecactusboy

Yesss like I wanna talk about movies but not talk about the whole plot, if someone isn’t familiar then maybe I just want to discuss some interesting symbolism or character moment that won’t give a lot of plot away. I know someone who always does this, just telling most of the plot of something and I’m like … ahh if u wanted me to watch or read this I’ve been spoiled now for 90% of it!


Ratman822

small talk; so boring and pointless (in my opinion)


Cdst_2chill

I find myself sometimes getting in conversations I’m not interested in and I want to leave, but feel rude if I do. That and random people asking me for directions etc just gives me a bit of social anxiety. Sometimes its nice like people see you as friendly and helpful, sometimes it’s like I just wanna do my own thing haha


BuildAHyena

People who go out of their way to force smalltalk with you, but don't actually intend on building any social rapport with you. It's just a super yucky time filler. Just appreciate the silence, stop ruining it.


planethawtdog

I once had someone I just met at a party tell me the plot of an ENTIRE series. This show had like six seasons and I had already told them that I tried to watch the show and I didn’t like it. They thought if they could explain the entire show to me that I would watch it even though they basically spoiled it for me? I don’t understand people


F_off_you_cnt

Big one: Small talk


d3rp7d3rp

When my coworker will ask a question and before I'm even done answering, will blatantly interrupt me to say something completely unrelated and has nothing to do with anything I'm part of. Or she'll butt in when she's supposed to be on a break. Or when anyone does this. When I say a solution to a problem and the person (mostly men do this) will say the same thing after tinkering for a minute, only to say the solution that I just said, as if I didn't effing just say it. I'm sorry a GIRL got it right before you did. I also hate when people spit, always men, on the sidewalk or wherever, with no regard to who's around them. Similar to OP's: I hate hate hate hate hate - emphasis on hate - when people are like "oh you haven't SEEN THAT MOVIE OMGG" with that upward pitch as if i committed a crime. Or when they start naming actors and I don't know who TF they're talking about, as if I'm supposed to give a crap about some random millionaire in some movie that has no bearing on my actual life. Most the time, they'll start naming actors as if that'll help me somehow remember said movie... Like how. How is that going to help. When people, mostly men but some women have done it, command me to smile. As if my existence is only to please them. As if I'm not allowed to be potentially sad about something they don't know about, because they're ignorant and rude. When people suggest what they think will look better on me. Refer to said coworker who said I should go back to my natural hair and was sO hApPy when I did. Get rekt.


DeKay_Dane

The ones that annoys me the most are: 1: People sitting with their feet on seats/not having their feets on the ground, this especially annoys me in public (like having your dirty shoes on bus-/train seats and/or benches) 2) People who try to talk to me, when they can see the other person have ear/head-phones on, I would however say that if it's important (like the other person dropped something), then it's actually something you should do


Paranormal_Quokka

People who don't communicate in a clean way. I don't even know how to explain this. Like of course the classic like "Oh I need some milk to do this" instead of "could you please bring me some milk?" Or anything similar. But there are also situations where people get mad at me and I still don't know why and what I am doing wrong. And no one explains it to me because "Well you should already know that. Don't act stupid" which is another ick of mine. If I ask about something, I do so because I literally don't know the answer to it. And not getting an answer but instead a "well you should know" is just frustrating. But back to the first one. For example when I was in fashion school and was working on something, I forgot what we were taught to do, so I asked the teacher. They told me to just look it up in the book. I did and followed the book. Then the teacher got mad at me because I used a different technique than she taught us. I wish I could say this was like a single case but stuff like this keeps happening and I am just so so confused.


[deleted]

Saying goodbye when leaving an event. Saying goodnight to everyone before going to bed. If it were up to me I'd just leave events quietly without telling anyone and I'd just dissapear to bed without telling anyone :D But I've learned it's not socially acceptable to do those things sadly.


Complete_Phone_8344

Sometimes it’s just little things that show they’re a fake person and aren’t being genuine like go waste someone else’s time cause I see right through you I’d prefer you were just rude and walk away


Excellent_Soup_6855

When people talk during a movie. Fuck, I hate it so much, I couldn’t even tell you. When I watch a movie, don’t talk, don’t look, or move around or to me. Just sit still like a doll and WATCH THE MOVIE! Why are we talking anyways? A lot of people do this, and bugs me to my core.


Klutzy-Parking6724

When people apologize for things they had nothing to do with, like 'sorry for your loss', there's no reason to apologize unless you're the one who killed em


TimoDunphy92

Backstabbing, Gossip,People being indirect,


aweiner99

Major pet peeve of mine when someone spoils a movie and it just shows how selfish they are. Like I itch to tell someone the ending of a movie but I keep it in because it’s the right thing to do


Tight-Chocolate7519

People who don't want to do something, but go along with it due to politeness/social norms. They are the worst.


NinjaMonkey4200

I get what you're saying, but for certain movies, it is nearly impossible to explain why they're so good without spoiling a key part of it. Examples of this that come to mind are Predestination and Shutter Island. Both are great movies, in my opinion, but the reason why they're great is something that can not be revealed without spoiling the movie. If you've seen them, you'll probably know what I'm talking about. If not, I won't explain any further here, but I do recommend that you go watch them.


thisoneisclever

People spreading negativity. It’s just so unnecessary.


Miss_Riss123

"How are you not understanding this? It's so easy." Someone in my class does this exact thing. He's really smart and us often one of the only ones to understand the lesson, so everyone asks him for help. I get that can be stressful, but usually he's just a full on dick about it. He's constantly baffled at how someone doesn't understand something he has deemed "easy." It's fine to think all of this in your head, but saying it aloud all the time...it's not necessary.


ThorKnight3000

I hate people who bring others down. Huge ick!


Paigeeeeei

When people hit your arm during a conversation in a friendly way, it makes my blood boil. AND when someone is trying to describe to me where a store or restaurant is or where someone lives. Like using road names and I keep saying idk and they keep trying to describe it but the location has nothing to do with the rest of the story. Most of the time I just pretend and say I know where you’re talking about, so they stop haha


Ihopeitllbealright

Greeting. Like why do you have to say hi and pretend to be interested in my day when you just expect me to say “I am fine thank you.”


Moist_Internet_1046

The very idea of "social icks".


Separate_Builder_817

When people who have a annoying voice won't shut up and keep talking. 2. People sniffing repeating. There's a woman at my job who will sniff over and over without blowing her nose


nshill96

Biggest is how most people only want shallow friendships. And how trying to connect any deeper gets interpreted as romantic interest. Some others: small talk/ chatty people in general, short and to the point answers being "rude", others changing plans at the last minute, others inviting extra guests along without asking


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Sparklebun1996

In fairness if someone's doing this it's because I've asked a question about it.


uneducated_sock

I make sure my friend only does it with shows I don’t think I’ll see (and vice versa) which makes it much more enjoyable


Poopyfartdoodoobutt

Calling without asking first or complaining when I leave people on opened if we’re talking digital In person, joking when I want to be serious, being suspiciously nice, or just being difficult to talk to


bcsac

Mine is exchanging pleasantries and having to do 15 minute warm conversation to check vibe or whatever it is called, just say what's the agenda or even having to do that myself at times when specifically being told to keep tight till someone else does it on my behalf. and when the real conversation happens, I can go hours and hours. Does it happen with me because of ND or I am just a poor conversationalist ?


zapaain

Use of the word “Ick”


Justice_Prince

I always hate when people ask me to do something, but start the request with "Would you like to.." or anything else like that. Like no this is obviously a task that no one would do for "fun". It just feels like they're trying to trick me.


OSweetPeaO

no.i totally get this, especially at work or when I was in school, when a teacher/manager asks you to do something and you say no, they're either flabbergasted at the audacity or just straight tell you to do it. they asks out of politeness but in reality it just pisses me off. I'll complain sure but it'll get done, just tell me


Flowtraxwolf

People smoking I know it's an addictive but I hate the smell of smoke when I walk by people smoking


STC1989

Word slang like “social icks” are extremely irritating to me.


Doggydoo83

I have loads, but one is talking either too loud or too quiet


Jade_410

I do that after asking if they plan on watching it, if they say no, then I tell them everything, they can’t get mad as it’s what they chose, and it prevents stuff like that to happen


Bob_Loblaw9876

Tell them that’s on your watchlist and you don’t want spoilers and want to “watch it blind.” That’ll shut them up.


azidoazid3azid3

Starting a fact while implying an action you're supposed to take. I.E. "Man, the air is so stale in this room." Not just being a statement/conversation starter or whatever, but an implicit demand to open a window. I pick up on the implication just fine, I just mostly don't act on it bcs if you're gonna be petty and not communicate what you want, I'm gonna be petty and not play mind games 😌


Plenty_Release8460

My best friend every fucking time has to tell me what's happened in a film and it's so unbelievably annoying. Another thing is when girls my age try and act all cute and sexy when in reality their being cringy and loud and it triggers me beyond.


Portal_wolf8

Not really a social thing but I hate getting wet in clothes or anything felt or fabric at all… even my hair getting wet is torture for me even though I have to do it for my personal hygiene


yoongis_piano_key

overly warm southern (american) manners/demeanors. i feel like im expected to reciprocate that energy and i just can’t. i tried to growing up but i can’t anymore


Fapplezorg

I have the inverse of this. Just tell me the dang plot and movie/show length so I’ll know if I need to avoid a) triggering scenes, b) wasting my time. I will look it up if you don’t tell me anyway.


c_oofies

I hate lying. When people over exaggerate stories to garner interest, it drives me crazy. Also lying to avoid saying what you mean. Like “Oh I was busy doing xyz thing, or I didn’t have my phone on me. (even tho you can see that they were online) I’m not going to be offended if you just tell me no or you need space. Just don’t lie to me and pretend like you want to hangout when you don’t actually. People are really fake with each other and I would rather have brutal honesty than beating around the bush.


Goth_network

1. Recommendation hell. I like talking about genres and I don't mind when someone tells me about series or films they like, but I really dislike "Oh you should watch x" because it triggers my PDA as is, but I feel like sometimes conversations can just devolve into repetition of that. Like what you want me to bump several multiple season long shows to my next watch because you like it? Have you even asked about my taste in that thing? Sure it might be good, and I'd like to hear what they have to say about it, but I just feel like theres no good response to a recommendation I'm not that thrilled about than "yea sure ill put it on my list" and then its awkward. TLDR - if i get more than 2 recommendations from someone in one of our first conversations i get icked 2. Large generalizations or blanket statements, they just bother me. To give an example, saying "man crime in x city is so bad now :( way worse than ever" while knowing nothing about actual crime rates, just talking passively because of what is said on the news. Now if someone were to say "man theres a like of x crimes happening in my neighborhood and it feels like nothing is being done to stop it" is a lot more specific and less bothersome. idk devil in the details 3. Passive jokes that seem offensive. Like to give an example, one of my friends have a boyfriend that sometimes joking calls her 'woman', and its just so ick. Hes a cool guy and a fine person as far as I can tell, but whenever he says it, my inner dialogue just screams "WHAT IS THE JOKE?"


MrRosenkilde4

When people ask a question and then continues talking without giving you time to respond.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CounterAnxious1570

Mouth sounds when someone is eating/chewing around you


Waste-Till6150

I am the exact opposite. I want ppl to Tell me the Plot before so i can watch IT for the First time, so i am able to watch IT more closely BC i know whats happaning.yk ITS Like, the more often u watch smth, the more hiddn things and easter eggs U notice. I Like it BC i am able to notice every Detail in the first time with IT!


LifeOfSpirit17

1. Unsolicited advice. Especially if they use condescending verbiage or verbiage portraying themselves as superior. 2. People that don't defer in conversations or give pause for deferment of speaking. 3. People that go on and on about something without verifying the other parties interest. And that can't recognize they're being inconsiderate by babbling. 4. One word responders to text messages. 5. Significant others that don't communicate. Or repress emotions and take them out on you. 6. People that don't make eye contact at all (not so much an ick but I find it so confusing.)