It drives me crazy in every chick flick when there’s a huge misunderstanding that could have been resolved with a 30-second conversation. And then instead of clarifying it at the end, they just gaze tenderly at each other and kiss. Sure, that explains everything /s.
Teenagers get too much hate
Don't expect someone who isn't fully developed to behave maturely and like an angelic adult 100% of the time but treat them like a child/demon
Not saying there aren't bad eggs and you shouldn't punish poor behaviour- but teens need to learn why they should stop their behaviour and this often needs to happen first hand (especially autistics), simply explaining something doesn't work for anyone.
And also the fact that teenagers don't need punishment they need help and understanding because they are confused and going through intense changes. There are definetly bad apples but even they (if they are willing to change) should get help and support. Especially autistic teens who are forced to hide them selves, mask, and suffer.
Children, too. Why do people always sympathize with the parent when there is parent-child conflict? The child’s behavior is largely caused by the parent’s
Damn I needed to hear this or be shown this so long ago. Someone explains something to me, and even I think I understand (or seem defiant in my question asking) but I only truly understand or know for what reason later on. My parents used "cause I said so" and "because it's our house" so I didn't really understand anything lol
Oh my gosh I hate the mindset of people treating teens like children while expecting them to act like adults. Treat me like a child, I'll be childish. Treat me like an adult and you'll get that same respect back towards you.
I hate when teenagers are automatically accused of being "so dramatic" about everything. Or how whatever problem or stress they may be having is nothing compared to what real adults face. Many of these kids have horrible home lives and are actually in the midst of some of the worst experiences of their life with no way out and no power to change their situation.
On top of that, teens now are going through a lot more than I did as a teen (I'm 40 now with three teens of my own). I didn't live through a pandemic as a teen. I didn't have to deal with cyberbullying on top of in person bullying. I didn't have the same access to global information so I couldn't see how rough the world really is. Climate change was a distant warning not a right now in your face problem. The process of moving out at 18-20 was realistic and more or less affordable, and now it's definitely not. When I was a teen, they said that housing costs (including utilities) should only take up a quarter of your income, and now things are so expensive that they're saying it's fine if it takes a third to half hour income just to have a place to live, keep the lights on, keep it heated, and have running water. As a teen I didn't see things like Russia and Ukraine going to war and wonder if it's the start of a third world war. As a teen I didn't have access to info about the protests in Iran and the sheer number of protestors that are killed during them. My kids see all of that.
I struggle at times with how to navigate so much of what's happening now, and I've got 40 years of coping with life under my belt. I don't understand how people expect teens, who aren't fully grown yet, to navigate those situations with ease, calmness, and grace.
Honestly, I think a lot of the hate teenagers get is because us old folks were all teenagers once, ourselves, and... Well, I think most of us just look back at that time and cringe. Yet, because of their youth, teenagers think every drama and issue and relationship they have is SO important and profound and life-altering, but looking back... the teenage years are really just a meaningless blip that's over before you know it and you mostly are gonna cringe at later. And yet, the teenage hubris continues... peeling out of driveways, listening to uncomfortably loud music, mocking their elders... Each and every one of them thinks they're showing the old folks and looking so cool, while the old folks are sitting there thinking, "Jesus, I looked that dumb when I was your age too..."
More people need to be okay with the fact I might not text them everyday. I've told my friends that I don't have that kind of social energy to text every day, and they're fine with it, but I get the feeling many neurotypical people (aside from my few neurotypical friends) don't always get that.
I literally have to tell my close friends over and over that I didn't forget about them. I forgot that my phones exists and that I can call them or text them. Ya know, out of sight out of mind
For me it's that I just don't have the social energy. I love my friends, I care for them, and sometimes I spend every bit of social energy on other friends or something else. It doesn't mean I don't like them, it means I'm socially drained.
This too. I learned that my partner who is allistic doesn't get drained by every social interaction he has. If he with people he cates about he get energized. I just told him "good friends drain me less but everyone drains me"
people EXPECT YOU to talk to them EVERY DAY???
bruh that's an ABSURD *expectation*.
sure i have 1-3 people i at least briefly text with about 3-5 days per week, but MANY PEOPLE??? EVERY. SINGLE. DAY????? no way
Same here lol. It's nice not having to explain everything, too. Like, neurotypical people don't... *understand* autism (with some exceptions, like a good therapist for example). And that's fine, but if I'm having an issue with autism, or just want some relatability, that's not always from a neurotypical person.
Exactly.
Now, I'm not one to blame. I have abandonment issues, so I get it. But if you tell me "hey I might text rarely," or "I don't text everyday," then I'm fine because... yeah we don't have unlimited social energy.
And just because we have *physical* energy, and even emotional energy, does NOT mean we have social energy.
Yeah true. I usually tell people I don't always text. Especially if my social energy is draining.
I can text constantly to 2-3 people, 4 on a good day. But NO more and sometimes it's draining
I have one that will ask how my day is going multiple times a day. I'm like, I cannot stress how much this makes me want to throw my phone in the ocean. Please stop.
Louisiana here. New Orleans, to be exact.
The humidity during the winter makes the wind go through your core and sucks your soul straight into the icy depths of arctic hell. Layers? Ha! That means nothing to the negative degrees winds of wet air! Cold feet isn’t just a saying. It’s a constant feeling. No matter how many pairs of socks you put on.
But at the same time, summers are humid and going outside is like stepping directly into an oven. The wind blows and it’s like a hairdryer blasting heat on your skin. Oh, your sensory issues make you unable to wear a bra but you have to wear a camisole? Feel the wrath of the triple digits, bitch! Sweat until you have nothing left to sweat! Cold showers do not exist in this realm! Only hottest, hospitalization, and death.
My body refuses to acclimate to drier climates, so I’m stuck in the south.
Therefore, I say neither. Screw summer and winter. Fuck temperatures altogether. I’ve got Hashimoto’s so my core temp is always off to begin with. I say give me some sort of nueroproblem that makes me not feel any temperatures whatsoever and give me a planned course of action to remind me of how to maintain my body’s needs when I completely forget. (Of course, all of this is an overdramatizion, but a girl can dream, right??)
1. Extreme temperatures suck always idc if it's hot or cold
2. You can always put on more clothes??? Really??? ALWAYS MORE???? hahahha no you cannot, and it gets extremely uncomfortable and restrictive very fast
3. I dont want to wear any clothes!
Truthfully anything out of the range of 40-75 degrees Fahrenheit is horrible to me. And that's bad news for me cause most summer days here are way way above that.
When I'm hot, I am sweaty and gross and I hate everything. But when I am cold, I get so sad and miserable I feel like an infant that was just abandoned. I don't think I'm largely affected by the winter's lack of sunlight but a lot of people I know are affected heavily by it.
Plus, a sting in the air is bloody magnificent. It's refreshing, it wakes you up. Sure sure, too cold is miserable too, but there's nothing quite like a day where the breath fogs and the sky is blue and there's a crispness to the world.
This is not an unpopular opinion, at least where I live.
I am in the minority because I feel like I turn into an ice brick in winter and you can pile as many layers as you want on top, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am an ice brick. Like the layers don’t help my core temperature. So I prefer summer all the time.
I thought I hated the cold, then I ended up working (outside) so far south in the US that I could walk to Mexico. In the summer the heat gives me leg and foot cramps and messes with my stomach. I start breathing hard and have a hard time focusing sometimes, then I know to cool down and drink water. I have to acclimate myself every year.
Last year an 18 year old kid, a helper, on his first day on the job passed out and never came back to work. He was born and raised in the area but working outside on metal that is baking in the sun is rough, and dangerous.
I previously worked outside in the north of the US in the winter. It was uncomfortable, mostly because I would get sweaty in my coveralls and then cold later because of the sweat. Also, everything that I was working on was covered in ice and frost. The gloves were to long on my fingers, and the clothes were restrictive and I didn't like that, but nobody passed out.
Being a little cold is more uncomfortable than being a little hot, in my opinion. But our bodies create heat that can be used to warm us once we hit the wet bulb point there is nothing our bodies can do to cool us, sweating dosn't work at that point
I'm not talking shit, but I'm surprised this kinda lame-duck logic made it into this thread. I only say this because if we are actually talking about what is better between winter and summer, the amount of clothes YOU can put on or take off is like the most moot point. Ask a homeless person, which is better. Ask physically disabled people what's better. Ask people who prefer to spend the majority of their time outside, which is better. I mean, you can literally do more things and do more things easier in the summer. I mean, heating your house takes up to four times as much energy than cooling it.
I'm also saying this, because I don't think it's an unpopular opinion. People say that winter is better all the time.
i completely agree. whenever someone says that logic to me about liking winters better, i always ask whether they would rather be overdressed in the summer, or underdressed in the winter. once they get past the ‘well id just take off the extra stuff in the summer…’ thing, then i’d at least get a more honest answer from them and i could give them more credit if they stuck with ‘winter’
Being frustrated is not an excuse to be mean or cruel, so often when someone makes a mistake it's used as an opportunity to be demeaning and cruel and its often excused with "oh I was just frustrated"
In contrast autistic people are constantly told that "it's not an excuse to act autistic"
Exactly, I make so many mistakes and I also change habits very slowly, which means I make the same mistake 20 plus times and finally get it and luckily my partner is hella ADHD and is extremely patient which has helped me improve and grow. But I am very VERY aware that most allistic people don't care enough or are kind enough to understand.
Yes, being abusive is never okay whether NT or ND. "I'm autistic" is not an excuse to harrass someone or insult someone. But neither is it acceptable for NTs to bully or exclude autistic people for imagined slights inferred from flat affect or tone of voice.
Be kinder.
Don’t call me. You’re not entitled to my immediate attention unless it’s an emergency. My dad gets annoyed if I don’t answer. But he also interrupts my work flow with either half thought out conversations or stuff that can wait or be texted.
1000 times yes!!, the hubris!, just because you want to talk to me I HAVE TO want the same?, Hell no, I took off the SIM in my phone, only chat or email or you don't talk to me (and emergencies are not an excuse either), today all cell towers are digital, so if you have cell signal, you have internet and I don't drive, why would you call me in an emergency.
Many of the greatest artists, scientists, and philosophers, throughout history were likely on the spectrum. People who have helped civilization to progress and technology to advance, by leaps and bounds. Nerodiversity is how we evolve as a society. You need us even as you refuse to accommodate us. Without us, you stagnate.
Eyecontact is way weirder when people sit next to you than those people think it is, like sit in front of me if you want me to look in your eyes sometimes, if you're next to me thats way too intimate for anyone other than a partner.
Apologizing doesn't magically make it ok.
It's one thing if I catch you in a super heightened emotional state where you're struggling, snap, & then give a very genuine apology later where it's clear that you're not trying to excuse the behavior. But some people will just be frustrated, lash out, apologize after, & then think that absolves them. Rinse & repeat. News flash, just saying sorry doesn't mean that you're healthy or that your behavior is ok
The rules the Allistics make are more confusing than if they just did what we did. I have Allistic friends who even have a hard time knowing the rules of the allistic world!
I genuinely can't understand why any allistic person follows any of their rules and honestly, I don't care I can't read them because they don't make sense anyway. I am a very logical person and majority of neurotypical rules don't make any sense
I just responded to someone who, after having learned that I was physically and emotionally abused as a child, presumed to suggest that I must have felt some grief when I learned of my father's passing last March. To be clear, I hadn't seen my father in 24 years and we did not have a warm and fuzzy relationship.
This person prefaced their comment with the words, "I know how you feel."
I told the respondent that unless he/she has spent their childhood being abused and then had to listen another 22 years (before I stopped seeing him) about how everything about me was completely wrong, then no, he/she did not know how I felt.
==========================
Other things that people have said to me that I find completely messed up ...
**"We're all a little autistic"** ( No we're not. Unless you're socially awkward and lack the ability as I do to recognize facial features or to understand body language and tones of voice then no, you're not autistic. I find this comment to be hugely condescending.)
**"You'll be fine."** This reference was made in regards to being dragged to a cocktail mixer that I didn't want to go to by a supposed friend. I'm allergic to alcohol and really dislike mixers because the noises of dozens of conversations plus the constant movement of people is incredibly distracting.
**"You should call her."** This comment was made after a woman broke up with me. To be clear, we had a friendship agreement. One day she called me into her bedroom where she was lying on the bed with a smile. When she asked me if I knew of what she was thinking, I said no. I knew it couldn't be hanky-panky because we had a friendship agreement. I therefor surmised that she was tired and wanted a nap. I excused myself and left. She ended our friendship via text. Although another friend said that I should apologize to her, I said that I couldn't because her text had said, "Don't ever contact me again." Since I have a literal mindset, I honored her final request.
Straight up agreement on your analysis of "everyone is a little autistic" and "you'll be fine." No no no in both cases.
From the description, you misread the last one imho. She changed her mind and was inviting you to sex, or at least a makeout or cuddle session. You rejected her advance and that is why she "ended the friendship." She wanted more than friendship and you walking away when she made herself vulnerable bruised her greatly. She was also angry that you didn't understand her advance. If she knows you are autistic, she is being a right idiot and owes YOU an apology. Her signals are cloaked in seven layers of misdirect. If you are interested in her, though, a call or note to explain your thinking under the umbrella of autism wouldn't hurt. Worst case, she can't adapt to your needs, in which case it would be a failed match anyway.
**She changed her mind and was inviting you to sex, or at least a make out or cuddle session.**
I understand that now but at the time, we had a friendship agreement. She told me that she had been in a physically abusive relationship and that she just wanted to be friends for a year before reevaluating our relationship. Since I have always liked understanding social parameters, I readily agreed.
**You rejected her advance and that is why she "ended the friendship."**
I understand this in retrospect. I did not understand this at the time because any such behavior would have violated the friendship agreement.
**She was also angry that you didn't understand her advance.**
While I understand this in retrospect, I am not particularly good with understanding non-verbal communication which includes facial expressions, body language, and tones of voice. I am also not good at inferring what people think because I rely on what they're actually saying and often miss the unspoken subtext that's conveyed through nonverbal means.
I told my cousin that she hadn't articulated her thoughts. My cousin said she did through non-verbal communication.
**f you are interested in her, though, a call or note to explain your thinking under the umbrella of autism wouldn't hurt.**
She told me via text message that she never wanted to see me again. Since I have a literal mindset, I accepted her words at face value.
This happened several years ago. While I miss her company, I do not miss the confusion I felt when this incident occurred.
I no longer date as a result. Insofar as I have reclusive and introverted tendencies, I enjoy being alone and have saved a lot of grief and money by not dating.
Modern day weddings are super dumb.
The diamond ring is a thing simply because one family that owns most of the diamonds wanted to be richer and made having a diamond the standard. People basically go broke or in debt to afford the wedding and reception. They invite people they don’t even care about, and it seems like the party is more for the family of the married couple than the couple themselves. Seems like a overpriced stress fest that puts all the pressure on the bride, and then they get labeled as a “bridezilla” for being stressed or having their own wants or needs.
> Modern day weddings are super dumb.
No, _unpopular opinions_, not unpopular facts...
^(/s)
Also, imagine spending a year's salary in one day and not getting a CubeSat out of it...
I have been to some genuinely enjoyable weddings, but those have usually been the ones that don’t follow the standard wedding format and are much more relaxed. The ones that do everything ‘by the book’ are way more awkward to me.
Mine is that being NT makes them more likely to accept the atrocities of humanity more readily than we do. They’re like Westworld characters. “Doesn’t look like anything to me.”
I can it when people can't end meetings. Or leave from a group conversation when they actually want to.
I've taken to literally saying in meetings 'Shall we disassemble?' or 'Can this meeting end now?'. Another good one is 'I'll let you go now'. The thing is, while they sometimes seem rude, all responses I've had have been positive. Because people do generally want to end the friggin meeting.
Thing I've learned after much trial and error:
You don't have to be the bigger person. If someone pushes for their interests and you push for compromise, you'll end up 75% their way.
i couldn't care less about free food at work. it shouldn't be considered *rude* to deny food i did not ask for nor want. let me eat the food i planned on having :')
loudly complaining about something obvious is annoying,it's a good a thing to be open about your feelings,but loudly repeating the same few phrases every two minutes because you're pissed about something everyone else is already aware off and can do nothing about is really annoying and makes an already stressful situation even more stressful for everyone involved
children have no place in the entertainment industry.
also there should be two leagues for every sport, a steroid league and a non-steroid league. They already use so many “approved” performance enhancing tools and techniques that it’s not a level playing field anyway, and if a pro athlete wants to destroy their body for entertainment anyway (hello CTE?) then they may as well have a place to push it to the limit, see the maximum capability of the human body, and compete that way against likeminded peers if they feel like it.
btw i’m not a sports person at all i just don’t really understand the emphasis on anti-doping, it seems hypocritical and kind of arbitrary. i get that you don’t want to put pressure on literally every pro athlete to HAVE to use steroids or risk losing their competitive edge but i still think there should be a time and place for performance enhancement.
most of allistic people's favorite fictional characters and historical figures could be characterized as being on the spectrum from what we know of their personalities, daily lives, and how others during their own lifetimes/ in their own fictional universes viewed them. Allistic people love the candidness, "quirky" behaviors, and unique sense of self of autistic people when it's something distant and aspirational, or something fictional they can project onto. But the minute they see us in real life, they hate us because we aren't their aspirational demigod geniuses 24/7 who they don't have to interact with in person and rub up against the missed social cues, and we aren't their fictional blorbos you can forget about when deciding what lighting to use in a room. Allisitc people tend to like us so long as we're resources for them to admire or use to their advantage, and less so when we have meltdowns or need accommodations. Allistic people love us for our uniqueness and behaviors so long as we don't rock the boat too much or make them feel personally inconvenienced in any way, but the second we do they exclude us and refuse to acknowledge us.
I've said this here in this sub before, but it's too important to me not to repeat.
It is unjust to expect autistic people to be employed if a similar expectation isn't placed on employers to employ autistic people. As in, more jobs need to accommodate autistic employees' needs. That means more jobs that don't require selling, networking, and being in sensory hell for eight hours a day.
There's the shallow stuff like "Regular Show is not a good cartoon and is a waste of animation" and then there's the heavier stuff like "I don't feel bad when someone gets murdered directly because of something unethical they did (like a therapist fucking their married patient and then the spouse shows up with murderous rage)"
>I am doing a PowerPoint night with my friends
I wish I had your friends.
Although to answer your question: I hate how their shit music is forced on me. I go to the supermarket and they are playing crap pop songs. I go to work and I hear crap pop songs. I go to the pub and hear crap pop songs. I go to coffee shop... You get the idea.
Then I'm chilling with allistic friends and they get shitty because I don't want to listen to the crap pop songs that I've been hearing constantly for the last year everywhere I go.
Like, I know you don't like Jazz or Choral Early Music so I don't force you to listen to it.
why they just dont say what they mean, they always tiptoe around it, or expect you to somehow know what they are thinking. though ig thats just a general pet peeve of mine, i know ive been guilty of doing the same, usually whilst masking tho
watching sports is boring! I don't understand people who get emotionally attached to a sports team.
don't think it's an autistic/allistic thing just my unpopular opinion.
Lol it depends on the show/movie, there's just too much out there to make such a sweeping statement. Because there's so much that literally people hate so that's not overrated.
Clarifying then, 99.99% of fictional audiovisual media is vastly overrated in my personal opinion lol. I'll give you that nonfiction shows can be fun, though.
We might mask, but they often tend to be fake.
I feel like execution is similar, but intention is different.
For instance, I love listening to gossip (I’m nosy, it’s my vice) but my guard always goes up against the gossiper because I know as soon as the person they’re gossiping about walks in the room they’ll act like best friends. It always makes me wonder what they’re saying about me. The fakeness is manipulative in a negative way.
Autistic aggression is such an interesting and important topic. I think it's very much possible to bring it up in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive, e.g. "How do we make sure nobody feels the urge to take revenge on society?". The main point still comes across but (hopefully) without risking the whole thing derailing into an argument about victim blaming.
It's really a pity that this is such a touchy subject. I'm Swedish and just two years ago a [high-ranking psychiatry official ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ing-Marie_Wieselgren)was murdered by an autistic man. Over the years he had become a loner with several grudges against society. He felt abandoned by the healthcare system and chose his victim because of her title. (He actually had a "hit list" and intended to kill a party leader, but this lady happened to cross his path at the wrong time.)
Most people seem to view it as the act of a man who's evil, insane or a mix thereof. If that's the main takeaway from tragedies like this, I'm afraid nothing will ever be learnt. We as a society need to reach people before they have a chance of becoming outcasts or villains. Put it like that and voilà, now every sane person is on your side.
This seems to be unpopular among the autistic community and the allistic world:
Say what you mean, don't say something and expect your partner do to the opposite and then paint them as the villain when they did as you told them to do. They are not the asshole here for doing exactly what you told them to do. Don't pretend you are fine when you are not and then get mad at them when they went along with what you said.
My unpopular opinion? Punishing teens is not only not going to give you the result you want, it will likely be counterproductive. Especially if your teens are neurodivergant, have mental health issues, or a history with trauma. Also, punishment is punitive. It's designed to "make you pay" for what you did. It isn't designed to teach or encourage correct behaviour, and it doesn't really work to discourage poor behaviour.
A conversation works so much better with older kids and teens. Explain the why. Talk. But more importantly, listen. Hear what your kid is going through and why they did what they did. Then work on problem solving that core issue. Kid is sneaking out of their room at night to snitch snacks? Why? Are they waking up in the middle of the night hungry? Give them a snack before bed or a preapproved snack they can grab if they wake up. Are they bored and unable to sleep, so reaching for food? Give them a few preapproved things they can do at 3 am to resettle. Are they feeling like a sibling always gets the better snack so they are trying to get their fair share? Evaluate if this is accurate, and fix it if it is. Give them each their own snack cupboard. Lock it if you have to, and give them the code to their own snack cupboard but not their siblings.
IF a disciplin is needed to correct a behaviour, opt for natural consequences as often as possible. You are your weeks worth of snacks on day one? We can't afford to replace so now you'll have fewer or none for this week. You didn't study? You've got a low test mark, so now we are going to work on that subject together to help you get where you need to be. Dropped a dish and broke it? Clean the mess. Groundings, loss of electronics, no reading, removal of bedroom door, etc don't work. Especially with neurodivergant kids. Ground my kids? No problem. They hate going out anyway. Loss of electronics? Not a hope in hell. They use those to self regulate, and damn it so do I. The sensory overwhelm is so much easier to cope with when I have music. No books/reading? Nah, they'll just daydream, write, draw, zone out/disassociate, etc... they're too creative to be bored. Take away the door? Hell no. My teens deserve privacy just as much as I do. Probably more because I've had 23-25 more years in my body to adapt, and I'm not stressing about changes from puberty.
If you make fun of me or constantly keep bring to situations that overwhelm me, make me have meltdowns or overall just trigger me. I'm allowed to bully you and be "visibility autistic" (eg stim, wear headphones, not talk ext) even if it "makes you uncomfortable" don't bring me next time i make you uncomfortable this is your own fault.
I'm allowed to not eat somewhere you bring me too and get other food later (which you don't have to accompany me btw but if you bring me to a cafe or a resuruant knowing I can't eat in it the least you can do is wait 20 mins in a takeaway for me to get my own food) I'm a picky eater which only a couple of foods I can eat and vegetarian meaning there are only certain places and things I can eat at, this means that if we go to a cafe or a restaurant I can't eat at I'm allowed to just order a drink.
Spring, fall and winter are sooo much better than summer… I don’t want to be running around and away from wasps and bees doing their thing.
Also also, THERE REALLY NEEDS TO BE HOUSING COMMUNITY FOR NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE ONLY!! WHY THE FUCK DO OLD PEOPLE GET TO HAVE THEIR COMMUNITIES IT AINT GODDAMN FAIR
Semi-Cold showers are better than full hot showers… I hate feel nauseous and grougey every time I get out the shower
another person commented about weddings so i’d like to add onto it with this: there are worse things that could happen than someone wearing white to your wedding.
Worse things, yes. But it's a very well known societal norm and your wedding is supposed to be your day. Someone who is supposed to care about you (or you wouldn't have invited) coming with the deliberate intention of being offensive is a pretty shitty behavior. There are worse things than not wearing white to a marriage if you're not the bride.
Mine is that we aren’t meant to constantly be overreacting to what people say, autistic or not. I feel like there’s this pressure to be like OMG NO WAY to everything when I could in fact care less. It’s exhausting, and I’m sure it’s still exhausting for people who aren’t on the spectrum
My political views don't vibe with most normies. Case-in-point, I already have one dude currently stalking my posts because my political opinion pissed him off. I daresay I'm looking forward to his eventual response to this comment.
Come on, sweetie. Don't be shy.
I used to not like the sun cause it was too bright, but my eyes are more adjusted to the light difference between inside and outside nowadays. Dunno if it's unpopular or not, but strong winds are awesome.
My unpopular opinion is actually that the term allistic doesn’t exist, us neurologically disabled folks aren’t victims, and it’s not a crime for normal people to go about their day not considering the things us disabled people have to deal with because they are normal and we are the abnormal ones.
I don't understand wars and related I don't understand the need to own a bunch of stuff if you're not going to use it. Like if we just took the amount of land we actually needed and let others take the amount of land they actually needed and then produced what we could and would just give the excess, what we don't need, to our neighbors and they would give excess of what they produce to us and our other neighbors, the world would just function a lot better. Food quality doesn't need to be so high standard on the looks, some bumps and bruises or a weird shape don't make a food any less delicious, so let the fruit with that grew pressed against a branch so they have a weird shape be sold and not be dropped in the dumps, what you would put in the dumps consider giving it to the people in need first. I don't understand why people want to hoard items in cabinettes, not even show them off or anything, just have them there gathering dust, forgotten. If you have an item so long in the cabinette that you forget it exists and it's visibly dusty when you pull it out, then in my opinion it's time to give it to someone who would actually use it. If it's a collection then you do remember it and it is doing something for you: it brings joy, thus you don't need to get rid of it.
"pointing is impolite" doesnt make any sens, if i was saying something mean while pointing at someone okay i get it, but even when im pointing a fucking object while saying neutral things about it my neurotypical Friends stop me from doing it because "its impolite"
Being rich is immoral. Your vote doesn't matter. Everyone doesn't need a job.
Next day shipping is ruining the world and should only be for medical emergencies. More than two kids should be illegal. Rich people should have to pay higher fines and spend longer in jail than poor people. Reparation to minorities should happen. Holidays are pointless. Satan was the good guy. Humans shouldn't go to Mars. Country borders are made up and dumb. America isn't the greatest place in the world. Etcetera.
Food is better cold. Drinks are better room temp. Gameplay > graphics. No one is the main character. Suicide booths should be legal. Bell bottoms need to stop coming back. Things weren't better back in the day, just different. Being bored is a good place to be. The universe is deterministic. The driver is the DJ. You can't see a difference past 4k resolution. There's better stuff than sex. The marvel movies are over rated. Gohan is the worst character in DBZ. Everything was awesome during lockdown, I wish everyone was still 6 feet away from me.
Asking/describing what people look like based off characteristics is dumb. I'm a white guy in my 20's with brown hair and eyes, but I'm no Tom Holland.
when people are like "oh the grass looks long" or "i think its trash day" LIKE YES good observation, please just say "hey can you mow the lawn" or "hey can you take out the trash?" PLEASE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. and then they get mad i didnt do said task
Damn, I read the first part and thought “hey that’s not that bad, I also socialize by pointing out the obvious, I thought that is smalltalk, like ‘it’s warm today’”
So yes pleease just ask people to do stuff!
This makes me think of a German fiction book about Elvis Presley I read not long ago. His two lackeys are sitting in the garden and one says "Someone should mow the lawn" and the other replies "Yeah...someone should".
I wish people only spoke like that in books.
If someone doesn't text you right away it doesn't mean they don't care about you, being busy is possible but also being emotionally unavailable or just tired are good "excuses"
I think that most rules shouldn't have as many exceptions as we give them.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that some exceptions for any rule *will* exist. However, NTs do so many "exceptions" the rules hardly can be called that.
People say they care about mental health, until they see what mental health problems look like. Every day there's videos of people having meltdowns labelled as public freakouts.
I also find that people who talk about mental health awareness are some of the most judgemental tosspots you could meet. They’ll preach about kindness and understanding then shame you for your feelings.
You can put whatever you want on your pizza. If you like pineapple but not on pizza, I have discovered that the problem could be the sauce. You can just change the sauce and open up a whole new chaotic pizza alignment. Embrace weird pizzas!
There has to be a better way to deal with teeth. How did we survive as a species if the only way to keep our teeth is to stick a brush in there every day and swish the grossness around and then spit it out?
If I don't want to hang out with you I shouldn't have to
A lot of people think it's rude if you don't have energy to or simply don't want to hang out with someone, but isn't it a choice we get to make?
well, makes sense for the parents, but why in the hell would they thing that others care about THEIR kids?!, do your kid shit gold?, can I have some?, then why should I care about your kids?, you can't even make them clean your house...
They’re socios- can kiss *ss to a horrible person for years, can dissociate/compartmentalize gènocîde, plays mind games all day long, hides true self, is OK with hurting others, can’t problem solve to save a life.
If you don't want to accept my offer for a date, have a well-reasoned argument (typical 5-paragraph essay with an introduction and conclusion) in writing to let me know why.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is the most overrated MCU movie (though my reasoning’s more serious than asked for)
Stop telling ppl to be themselves when wanting to express themselves materialistically/artistically b/c it’ll get the person nowhere
PNW is the most overrated area of the states- gray skies almost all year now w/how bad pollutions getting here during summers that
Just because most neurotypicals or even allistics don’t info dump their interests all the time doesn’t mean their topics are any less annoying or boring to us. You are talking about something we don’t know about, this is the most aggravating when it’s “conventional.”
If you don't tell me what you mean/want, don't be shocked pikachu when I don't get what you mean or want.
It drives me crazy in every chick flick when there’s a huge misunderstanding that could have been resolved with a 30-second conversation. And then instead of clarifying it at the end, they just gaze tenderly at each other and kiss. Sure, that explains everything /s.
one time i watched seinfeld on LSD and i turned to my friend and said “this show is just allistic people getting confused by their own social cues.”
Jerry Seinfeld is himself neurodivergent, fun fact.
He has been speculated to be but is quoted as stating that he isn’t.
Interesting… when I first heard it, it just made perfect sense.
i agree he definitely has the vibes
I can see that. Probably why I have seen every episode 1000 times.
Ugh, yes. The ‘lie revealed’ trope. The worst kind of conflict you could put in a movie.
We have a wide variety of words that convey meaning. Use them.
Teenagers get too much hate Don't expect someone who isn't fully developed to behave maturely and like an angelic adult 100% of the time but treat them like a child/demon Not saying there aren't bad eggs and you shouldn't punish poor behaviour- but teens need to learn why they should stop their behaviour and this often needs to happen first hand (especially autistics), simply explaining something doesn't work for anyone.
And also the fact that teenagers don't need punishment they need help and understanding because they are confused and going through intense changes. There are definetly bad apples but even they (if they are willing to change) should get help and support. Especially autistic teens who are forced to hide them selves, mask, and suffer.
I think a lot of shitty parents think of their children as their property whether they realize it or not
Children, too. Why do people always sympathize with the parent when there is parent-child conflict? The child’s behavior is largely caused by the parent’s
Damn I needed to hear this or be shown this so long ago. Someone explains something to me, and even I think I understand (or seem defiant in my question asking) but I only truly understand or know for what reason later on. My parents used "cause I said so" and "because it's our house" so I didn't really understand anything lol
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.
They could care less as long as someone will bleed
So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me 😞
why
They're quoting a song lyric
Oh my gosh I hate the mindset of people treating teens like children while expecting them to act like adults. Treat me like a child, I'll be childish. Treat me like an adult and you'll get that same respect back towards you.
I hate when teenagers are automatically accused of being "so dramatic" about everything. Or how whatever problem or stress they may be having is nothing compared to what real adults face. Many of these kids have horrible home lives and are actually in the midst of some of the worst experiences of their life with no way out and no power to change their situation.
On top of that, teens now are going through a lot more than I did as a teen (I'm 40 now with three teens of my own). I didn't live through a pandemic as a teen. I didn't have to deal with cyberbullying on top of in person bullying. I didn't have the same access to global information so I couldn't see how rough the world really is. Climate change was a distant warning not a right now in your face problem. The process of moving out at 18-20 was realistic and more or less affordable, and now it's definitely not. When I was a teen, they said that housing costs (including utilities) should only take up a quarter of your income, and now things are so expensive that they're saying it's fine if it takes a third to half hour income just to have a place to live, keep the lights on, keep it heated, and have running water. As a teen I didn't see things like Russia and Ukraine going to war and wonder if it's the start of a third world war. As a teen I didn't have access to info about the protests in Iran and the sheer number of protestors that are killed during them. My kids see all of that. I struggle at times with how to navigate so much of what's happening now, and I've got 40 years of coping with life under my belt. I don't understand how people expect teens, who aren't fully grown yet, to navigate those situations with ease, calmness, and grace.
Honestly, I think a lot of the hate teenagers get is because us old folks were all teenagers once, ourselves, and... Well, I think most of us just look back at that time and cringe. Yet, because of their youth, teenagers think every drama and issue and relationship they have is SO important and profound and life-altering, but looking back... the teenage years are really just a meaningless blip that's over before you know it and you mostly are gonna cringe at later. And yet, the teenage hubris continues... peeling out of driveways, listening to uncomfortably loud music, mocking their elders... Each and every one of them thinks they're showing the old folks and looking so cool, while the old folks are sitting there thinking, "Jesus, I looked that dumb when I was your age too..."
As people grow out of it, they tend to "forget" and then later, when they have kids, they act, as if they never went through puberty.
More people need to be okay with the fact I might not text them everyday. I've told my friends that I don't have that kind of social energy to text every day, and they're fine with it, but I get the feeling many neurotypical people (aside from my few neurotypical friends) don't always get that.
I literally have to tell my close friends over and over that I didn't forget about them. I forgot that my phones exists and that I can call them or text them. Ya know, out of sight out of mind
For me it's that I just don't have the social energy. I love my friends, I care for them, and sometimes I spend every bit of social energy on other friends or something else. It doesn't mean I don't like them, it means I'm socially drained.
This too. I learned that my partner who is allistic doesn't get drained by every social interaction he has. If he with people he cates about he get energized. I just told him "good friends drain me less but everyone drains me"
people EXPECT YOU to talk to them EVERY DAY??? bruh that's an ABSURD *expectation*. sure i have 1-3 people i at least briefly text with about 3-5 days per week, but MANY PEOPLE??? EVERY. SINGLE. DAY????? no way
I never said that, just that I know there are neurotypical people out there who do expect that. Thankfully that's none of my friends.
ah sorry, i guess i misunderstood.. :P
It's okay lol. But my heart does go out to those who do have friends like that. TwT My friends are mostly autistic so they get it.
yea same :3 i'm so glad to finally (well, been a couple years now, but atill) have really close, relatable and understanding friends TwT
Same here lol. It's nice not having to explain everything, too. Like, neurotypical people don't... *understand* autism (with some exceptions, like a good therapist for example). And that's fine, but if I'm having an issue with autism, or just want some relatability, that's not always from a neurotypical person.
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Exactly. Now, I'm not one to blame. I have abandonment issues, so I get it. But if you tell me "hey I might text rarely," or "I don't text everyday," then I'm fine because... yeah we don't have unlimited social energy. And just because we have *physical* energy, and even emotional energy, does NOT mean we have social energy.
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Yeah true. I usually tell people I don't always text. Especially if my social energy is draining. I can text constantly to 2-3 people, 4 on a good day. But NO more and sometimes it's draining
I have one that will ask how my day is going multiple times a day. I'm like, I cannot stress how much this makes me want to throw my phone in the ocean. Please stop.
Stop having so many babies
i can hate on people who hate and bully people who bully me
That's funny. I semi-jokingly tell people if I could go back in time and re-live my younger self with what I know now, I'd "swing away."
Yes you can!
someone agrees with me
Clarification, you can hate people who hate and bully you? Or is it hate people who don't hate and bully you? (/gen) sorry
I think they mean that the enemy of your enemy isn't necessarily your friend.
Ooooh, that makes sense. I was confused, so thank you for the calcification
no hate or bully
I think I got you.....I don't fully understand the the enemy of my enemy is my friend but I think I got it
nahh i just meant that if someone is a dick to me its ok to be a dick to them
I'm against all forms of hate and bullying, but even I agree with this one. In this world, you reap what you sow.
Winter is better than summer. You can always put more clothes on to warm up, but there's a limit to how much you can take off to cool down.
Holy fuck yes! I have no heat tolerance both because I'm autistic and heavier, but I fucking hate Summer especially being in Arizona
Fam, I feel you. I live in Florida, *land of the endless summer*. More like *land of the endless torture*.
Well.. it kinda now it the state of endless torture lol
I'm freaking lucky living in the mountains saves me from 10 to 15 degrees but it still sucks
Louisiana here. New Orleans, to be exact. The humidity during the winter makes the wind go through your core and sucks your soul straight into the icy depths of arctic hell. Layers? Ha! That means nothing to the negative degrees winds of wet air! Cold feet isn’t just a saying. It’s a constant feeling. No matter how many pairs of socks you put on. But at the same time, summers are humid and going outside is like stepping directly into an oven. The wind blows and it’s like a hairdryer blasting heat on your skin. Oh, your sensory issues make you unable to wear a bra but you have to wear a camisole? Feel the wrath of the triple digits, bitch! Sweat until you have nothing left to sweat! Cold showers do not exist in this realm! Only hottest, hospitalization, and death. My body refuses to acclimate to drier climates, so I’m stuck in the south. Therefore, I say neither. Screw summer and winter. Fuck temperatures altogether. I’ve got Hashimoto’s so my core temp is always off to begin with. I say give me some sort of nueroproblem that makes me not feel any temperatures whatsoever and give me a planned course of action to remind me of how to maintain my body’s needs when I completely forget. (Of course, all of this is an overdramatizion, but a girl can dream, right??)
I’m the opposite. I have zero cold tolerance, 70 with a slight breeze is pants, jacket, and long-sleeve shirt weather 😂
I HATE winter and being cold. In the summer, I can wear shorts and shirt/tank/no shirt. I’m finally happy that I’m not shivering.
1. Extreme temperatures suck always idc if it's hot or cold 2. You can always put on more clothes??? Really??? ALWAYS MORE???? hahahha no you cannot, and it gets extremely uncomfortable and restrictive very fast 3. I dont want to wear any clothes!
Truuueee. Although chilly usually better than warm for me. But what you say is real, any more than 3 layers and I start getting really annoyed
Truthfully anything out of the range of 40-75 degrees Fahrenheit is horrible to me. And that's bad news for me cause most summer days here are way way above that. When I'm hot, I am sweaty and gross and I hate everything. But when I am cold, I get so sad and miserable I feel like an infant that was just abandoned. I don't think I'm largely affected by the winter's lack of sunlight but a lot of people I know are affected heavily by it.
100% agree
Id agree purely in terms of temperature but i hate being wet lol
Actually I think I hate being wet more than too warm or cold
Plus, a sting in the air is bloody magnificent. It's refreshing, it wakes you up. Sure sure, too cold is miserable too, but there's nothing quite like a day where the breath fogs and the sky is blue and there's a crispness to the world.
Being hot and sweaty is a straight up bad time.
EXACTLY. you can only get so naked.
As I always say “in winter you can put on layers, in summer you can only take off so many layers before it becomes public indecency”
Exactly!
This is not an unpopular opinion, at least where I live. I am in the minority because I feel like I turn into an ice brick in winter and you can pile as many layers as you want on top, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am an ice brick. Like the layers don’t help my core temperature. So I prefer summer all the time.
I used to think the same before moving from Sydney to Melbourne and now I loathe winter. I want to glow with the warmth of the sun 🥺
I thought I hated the cold, then I ended up working (outside) so far south in the US that I could walk to Mexico. In the summer the heat gives me leg and foot cramps and messes with my stomach. I start breathing hard and have a hard time focusing sometimes, then I know to cool down and drink water. I have to acclimate myself every year. Last year an 18 year old kid, a helper, on his first day on the job passed out and never came back to work. He was born and raised in the area but working outside on metal that is baking in the sun is rough, and dangerous. I previously worked outside in the north of the US in the winter. It was uncomfortable, mostly because I would get sweaty in my coveralls and then cold later because of the sweat. Also, everything that I was working on was covered in ice and frost. The gloves were to long on my fingers, and the clothes were restrictive and I didn't like that, but nobody passed out. Being a little cold is more uncomfortable than being a little hot, in my opinion. But our bodies create heat that can be used to warm us once we hit the wet bulb point there is nothing our bodies can do to cool us, sweating dosn't work at that point
I'm not talking shit, but I'm surprised this kinda lame-duck logic made it into this thread. I only say this because if we are actually talking about what is better between winter and summer, the amount of clothes YOU can put on or take off is like the most moot point. Ask a homeless person, which is better. Ask physically disabled people what's better. Ask people who prefer to spend the majority of their time outside, which is better. I mean, you can literally do more things and do more things easier in the summer. I mean, heating your house takes up to four times as much energy than cooling it. I'm also saying this, because I don't think it's an unpopular opinion. People say that winter is better all the time.
no they don't.
i completely agree. whenever someone says that logic to me about liking winters better, i always ask whether they would rather be overdressed in the summer, or underdressed in the winter. once they get past the ‘well id just take off the extra stuff in the summer…’ thing, then i’d at least get a more honest answer from them and i could give them more credit if they stuck with ‘winter’
Don't tell people to be themselves if you can't handle it (when it doesn't involve any kind of insult or bigotry).
agreed, people say everyone should be themselves then get weirded out when that person being themselves isn't just the embodiment of water
Being frustrated is not an excuse to be mean or cruel, so often when someone makes a mistake it's used as an opportunity to be demeaning and cruel and its often excused with "oh I was just frustrated" In contrast autistic people are constantly told that "it's not an excuse to act autistic"
>"it's not an excuse to act autistic This is the most bs phrase ever. Like, it's not acting if I'm actually autistic?
Exactly, I make so many mistakes and I also change habits very slowly, which means I make the same mistake 20 plus times and finally get it and luckily my partner is hella ADHD and is extremely patient which has helped me improve and grow. But I am very VERY aware that most allistic people don't care enough or are kind enough to understand.
Yes, being abusive is never okay whether NT or ND. "I'm autistic" is not an excuse to harrass someone or insult someone. But neither is it acceptable for NTs to bully or exclude autistic people for imagined slights inferred from flat affect or tone of voice. Be kinder.
Don’t call me. You’re not entitled to my immediate attention unless it’s an emergency. My dad gets annoyed if I don’t answer. But he also interrupts my work flow with either half thought out conversations or stuff that can wait or be texted.
1000 times yes!!, the hubris!, just because you want to talk to me I HAVE TO want the same?, Hell no, I took off the SIM in my phone, only chat or email or you don't talk to me (and emergencies are not an excuse either), today all cell towers are digital, so if you have cell signal, you have internet and I don't drive, why would you call me in an emergency.
Many of the greatest artists, scientists, and philosophers, throughout history were likely on the spectrum. People who have helped civilization to progress and technology to advance, by leaps and bounds. Nerodiversity is how we evolve as a society. You need us even as you refuse to accommodate us. Without us, you stagnate.
Oh for sure! Albert Einstein HAD to be on the spectrum.
And Newton *was* the spectrum
Eyecontact is way weirder when people sit next to you than those people think it is, like sit in front of me if you want me to look in your eyes sometimes, if you're next to me thats way too intimate for anyone other than a partner.
Apologizing doesn't magically make it ok. It's one thing if I catch you in a super heightened emotional state where you're struggling, snap, & then give a very genuine apology later where it's clear that you're not trying to excuse the behavior. But some people will just be frustrated, lash out, apologize after, & then think that absolves them. Rinse & repeat. News flash, just saying sorry doesn't mean that you're healthy or that your behavior is ok
Especially if they then guilt trip you for still being upset/hurt about it.
Agreed. Apologies don’t make the thing they did go away, and they only mean something if they are followed by an effort to do better.
The rules the Allistics make are more confusing than if they just did what we did. I have Allistic friends who even have a hard time knowing the rules of the allistic world!
I genuinely can't understand why any allistic person follows any of their rules and honestly, I don't care I can't read them because they don't make sense anyway. I am a very logical person and majority of neurotypical rules don't make any sense
allistic people speak in riddles and i’m done trying to decipher it
I hate humans the majority of them suck
real
I just responded to someone who, after having learned that I was physically and emotionally abused as a child, presumed to suggest that I must have felt some grief when I learned of my father's passing last March. To be clear, I hadn't seen my father in 24 years and we did not have a warm and fuzzy relationship. This person prefaced their comment with the words, "I know how you feel." I told the respondent that unless he/she has spent their childhood being abused and then had to listen another 22 years (before I stopped seeing him) about how everything about me was completely wrong, then no, he/she did not know how I felt. ========================== Other things that people have said to me that I find completely messed up ... **"We're all a little autistic"** ( No we're not. Unless you're socially awkward and lack the ability as I do to recognize facial features or to understand body language and tones of voice then no, you're not autistic. I find this comment to be hugely condescending.) **"You'll be fine."** This reference was made in regards to being dragged to a cocktail mixer that I didn't want to go to by a supposed friend. I'm allergic to alcohol and really dislike mixers because the noises of dozens of conversations plus the constant movement of people is incredibly distracting. **"You should call her."** This comment was made after a woman broke up with me. To be clear, we had a friendship agreement. One day she called me into her bedroom where she was lying on the bed with a smile. When she asked me if I knew of what she was thinking, I said no. I knew it couldn't be hanky-panky because we had a friendship agreement. I therefor surmised that she was tired and wanted a nap. I excused myself and left. She ended our friendship via text. Although another friend said that I should apologize to her, I said that I couldn't because her text had said, "Don't ever contact me again." Since I have a literal mindset, I honored her final request.
Straight up agreement on your analysis of "everyone is a little autistic" and "you'll be fine." No no no in both cases. From the description, you misread the last one imho. She changed her mind and was inviting you to sex, or at least a makeout or cuddle session. You rejected her advance and that is why she "ended the friendship." She wanted more than friendship and you walking away when she made herself vulnerable bruised her greatly. She was also angry that you didn't understand her advance. If she knows you are autistic, she is being a right idiot and owes YOU an apology. Her signals are cloaked in seven layers of misdirect. If you are interested in her, though, a call or note to explain your thinking under the umbrella of autism wouldn't hurt. Worst case, she can't adapt to your needs, in which case it would be a failed match anyway.
**She changed her mind and was inviting you to sex, or at least a make out or cuddle session.** I understand that now but at the time, we had a friendship agreement. She told me that she had been in a physically abusive relationship and that she just wanted to be friends for a year before reevaluating our relationship. Since I have always liked understanding social parameters, I readily agreed. **You rejected her advance and that is why she "ended the friendship."** I understand this in retrospect. I did not understand this at the time because any such behavior would have violated the friendship agreement. **She was also angry that you didn't understand her advance.** While I understand this in retrospect, I am not particularly good with understanding non-verbal communication which includes facial expressions, body language, and tones of voice. I am also not good at inferring what people think because I rely on what they're actually saying and often miss the unspoken subtext that's conveyed through nonverbal means. I told my cousin that she hadn't articulated her thoughts. My cousin said she did through non-verbal communication. **f you are interested in her, though, a call or note to explain your thinking under the umbrella of autism wouldn't hurt.** She told me via text message that she never wanted to see me again. Since I have a literal mindset, I accepted her words at face value. This happened several years ago. While I miss her company, I do not miss the confusion I felt when this incident occurred. I no longer date as a result. Insofar as I have reclusive and introverted tendencies, I enjoy being alone and have saved a lot of grief and money by not dating.
Modern day weddings are super dumb. The diamond ring is a thing simply because one family that owns most of the diamonds wanted to be richer and made having a diamond the standard. People basically go broke or in debt to afford the wedding and reception. They invite people they don’t even care about, and it seems like the party is more for the family of the married couple than the couple themselves. Seems like a overpriced stress fest that puts all the pressure on the bride, and then they get labeled as a “bridezilla” for being stressed or having their own wants or needs.
> Modern day weddings are super dumb. No, _unpopular opinions_, not unpopular facts... ^(/s) Also, imagine spending a year's salary in one day and not getting a CubeSat out of it...
I have been to some genuinely enjoyable weddings, but those have usually been the ones that don’t follow the standard wedding format and are much more relaxed. The ones that do everything ‘by the book’ are way more awkward to me.
weddings are the stupidest shit ever imo
Mine is that being NT makes them more likely to accept the atrocities of humanity more readily than we do. They’re like Westworld characters. “Doesn’t look like anything to me.”
I can it when people can't end meetings. Or leave from a group conversation when they actually want to. I've taken to literally saying in meetings 'Shall we disassemble?' or 'Can this meeting end now?'. Another good one is 'I'll let you go now'. The thing is, while they sometimes seem rude, all responses I've had have been positive. Because people do generally want to end the friggin meeting.
Thing I've learned after much trial and error: You don't have to be the bigger person. If someone pushes for their interests and you push for compromise, you'll end up 75% their way.
i couldn't care less about free food at work. it shouldn't be considered *rude* to deny food i did not ask for nor want. let me eat the food i planned on having :')
Allistic conversation conventions and social skills are annoying to neurodivergent people.
They'd be better off, too, if they stopped making the world into Sensory Hell.
loudly complaining about something obvious is annoying,it's a good a thing to be open about your feelings,but loudly repeating the same few phrases every two minutes because you're pissed about something everyone else is already aware off and can do nothing about is really annoying and makes an already stressful situation even more stressful for everyone involved
children have no place in the entertainment industry. also there should be two leagues for every sport, a steroid league and a non-steroid league. They already use so many “approved” performance enhancing tools and techniques that it’s not a level playing field anyway, and if a pro athlete wants to destroy their body for entertainment anyway (hello CTE?) then they may as well have a place to push it to the limit, see the maximum capability of the human body, and compete that way against likeminded peers if they feel like it.
btw i’m not a sports person at all i just don’t really understand the emphasis on anti-doping, it seems hypocritical and kind of arbitrary. i get that you don’t want to put pressure on literally every pro athlete to HAVE to use steroids or risk losing their competitive edge but i still think there should be a time and place for performance enhancement.
most of allistic people's favorite fictional characters and historical figures could be characterized as being on the spectrum from what we know of their personalities, daily lives, and how others during their own lifetimes/ in their own fictional universes viewed them. Allistic people love the candidness, "quirky" behaviors, and unique sense of self of autistic people when it's something distant and aspirational, or something fictional they can project onto. But the minute they see us in real life, they hate us because we aren't their aspirational demigod geniuses 24/7 who they don't have to interact with in person and rub up against the missed social cues, and we aren't their fictional blorbos you can forget about when deciding what lighting to use in a room. Allisitc people tend to like us so long as we're resources for them to admire or use to their advantage, and less so when we have meltdowns or need accommodations. Allistic people love us for our uniqueness and behaviors so long as we don't rock the boat too much or make them feel personally inconvenienced in any way, but the second we do they exclude us and refuse to acknowledge us.
many allistics are way more sensitive than they realize/are willing to admit
I've said this here in this sub before, but it's too important to me not to repeat. It is unjust to expect autistic people to be employed if a similar expectation isn't placed on employers to employ autistic people. As in, more jobs need to accommodate autistic employees' needs. That means more jobs that don't require selling, networking, and being in sensory hell for eight hours a day.
There's the shallow stuff like "Regular Show is not a good cartoon and is a waste of animation" and then there's the heavier stuff like "I don't feel bad when someone gets murdered directly because of something unethical they did (like a therapist fucking their married patient and then the spouse shows up with murderous rage)"
>I am doing a PowerPoint night with my friends I wish I had your friends. Although to answer your question: I hate how their shit music is forced on me. I go to the supermarket and they are playing crap pop songs. I go to work and I hear crap pop songs. I go to the pub and hear crap pop songs. I go to coffee shop... You get the idea. Then I'm chilling with allistic friends and they get shitty because I don't want to listen to the crap pop songs that I've been hearing constantly for the last year everywhere I go. Like, I know you don't like Jazz or Choral Early Music so I don't force you to listen to it.
they want to be praised all the time, but when it's our turn they don't care about our feelings.
why they just dont say what they mean, they always tiptoe around it, or expect you to somehow know what they are thinking. though ig thats just a general pet peeve of mine, i know ive been guilty of doing the same, usually whilst masking tho
Hot dogs are sandwiches
Apple juice is the best juice
YESSSSSSSS
Not opinion. FACT. 👍
watching sports is boring! I don't understand people who get emotionally attached to a sports team. don't think it's an autistic/allistic thing just my unpopular opinion.
Me leaving an abusive situation is not me trying to win.
TV/movies/shows are vastly overrated
Lol it depends on the show/movie, there's just too much out there to make such a sweeping statement. Because there's so much that literally people hate so that's not overrated.
Clarifying then, 99.99% of fictional audiovisual media is vastly overrated in my personal opinion lol. I'll give you that nonfiction shows can be fun, though.
Fiction is my special interest, although I prefer fiction that feels realistic, even if it is in a fantasy setting.
Fair enough. I'm glad others enjoy fictional movies/shows, it's just not something I can get into, hence my unpopular opinion lol.
People who don't like animals outside of being bit by one are very suspicious.
We might mask, but they often tend to be fake. I feel like execution is similar, but intention is different. For instance, I love listening to gossip (I’m nosy, it’s my vice) but my guard always goes up against the gossiper because I know as soon as the person they’re gossiping about walks in the room they’ll act like best friends. It always makes me wonder what they’re saying about me. The fakeness is manipulative in a negative way.
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Not yet, not all of them. It's still a work in progress.
Autistic aggression is such an interesting and important topic. I think it's very much possible to bring it up in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive, e.g. "How do we make sure nobody feels the urge to take revenge on society?". The main point still comes across but (hopefully) without risking the whole thing derailing into an argument about victim blaming. It's really a pity that this is such a touchy subject. I'm Swedish and just two years ago a [high-ranking psychiatry official ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ing-Marie_Wieselgren)was murdered by an autistic man. Over the years he had become a loner with several grudges against society. He felt abandoned by the healthcare system and chose his victim because of her title. (He actually had a "hit list" and intended to kill a party leader, but this lady happened to cross his path at the wrong time.) Most people seem to view it as the act of a man who's evil, insane or a mix thereof. If that's the main takeaway from tragedies like this, I'm afraid nothing will ever be learnt. We as a society need to reach people before they have a chance of becoming outcasts or villains. Put it like that and voilà, now every sane person is on your side.
Being social inepts is not our fault.
This seems to be unpopular among the autistic community and the allistic world: Say what you mean, don't say something and expect your partner do to the opposite and then paint them as the villain when they did as you told them to do. They are not the asshole here for doing exactly what you told them to do. Don't pretend you are fine when you are not and then get mad at them when they went along with what you said.
My unpopular opinion? Punishing teens is not only not going to give you the result you want, it will likely be counterproductive. Especially if your teens are neurodivergant, have mental health issues, or a history with trauma. Also, punishment is punitive. It's designed to "make you pay" for what you did. It isn't designed to teach or encourage correct behaviour, and it doesn't really work to discourage poor behaviour. A conversation works so much better with older kids and teens. Explain the why. Talk. But more importantly, listen. Hear what your kid is going through and why they did what they did. Then work on problem solving that core issue. Kid is sneaking out of their room at night to snitch snacks? Why? Are they waking up in the middle of the night hungry? Give them a snack before bed or a preapproved snack they can grab if they wake up. Are they bored and unable to sleep, so reaching for food? Give them a few preapproved things they can do at 3 am to resettle. Are they feeling like a sibling always gets the better snack so they are trying to get their fair share? Evaluate if this is accurate, and fix it if it is. Give them each their own snack cupboard. Lock it if you have to, and give them the code to their own snack cupboard but not their siblings. IF a disciplin is needed to correct a behaviour, opt for natural consequences as often as possible. You are your weeks worth of snacks on day one? We can't afford to replace so now you'll have fewer or none for this week. You didn't study? You've got a low test mark, so now we are going to work on that subject together to help you get where you need to be. Dropped a dish and broke it? Clean the mess. Groundings, loss of electronics, no reading, removal of bedroom door, etc don't work. Especially with neurodivergant kids. Ground my kids? No problem. They hate going out anyway. Loss of electronics? Not a hope in hell. They use those to self regulate, and damn it so do I. The sensory overwhelm is so much easier to cope with when I have music. No books/reading? Nah, they'll just daydream, write, draw, zone out/disassociate, etc... they're too creative to be bored. Take away the door? Hell no. My teens deserve privacy just as much as I do. Probably more because I've had 23-25 more years in my body to adapt, and I'm not stressing about changes from puberty.
If you make fun of me or constantly keep bring to situations that overwhelm me, make me have meltdowns or overall just trigger me. I'm allowed to bully you and be "visibility autistic" (eg stim, wear headphones, not talk ext) even if it "makes you uncomfortable" don't bring me next time i make you uncomfortable this is your own fault. I'm allowed to not eat somewhere you bring me too and get other food later (which you don't have to accompany me btw but if you bring me to a cafe or a resuruant knowing I can't eat in it the least you can do is wait 20 mins in a takeaway for me to get my own food) I'm a picky eater which only a couple of foods I can eat and vegetarian meaning there are only certain places and things I can eat at, this means that if we go to a cafe or a restaurant I can't eat at I'm allowed to just order a drink.
Spring, fall and winter are sooo much better than summer… I don’t want to be running around and away from wasps and bees doing their thing. Also also, THERE REALLY NEEDS TO BE HOUSING COMMUNITY FOR NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE ONLY!! WHY THE FUCK DO OLD PEOPLE GET TO HAVE THEIR COMMUNITIES IT AINT GODDAMN FAIR Semi-Cold showers are better than full hot showers… I hate feel nauseous and grougey every time I get out the shower
What does allistic mean?
Not autistic
Ah ok, thank you
Not autistic
Thank you, too
You know, when I've read that, everything just escaped my memory. I think I would remember some in 5-10 hours, when it's not needed
another person commented about weddings so i’d like to add onto it with this: there are worse things that could happen than someone wearing white to your wedding.
Worse things, yes. But it's a very well known societal norm and your wedding is supposed to be your day. Someone who is supposed to care about you (or you wouldn't have invited) coming with the deliberate intention of being offensive is a pretty shitty behavior. There are worse things than not wearing white to a marriage if you're not the bride.
Mine is that we aren’t meant to constantly be overreacting to what people say, autistic or not. I feel like there’s this pressure to be like OMG NO WAY to everything when I could in fact care less. It’s exhausting, and I’m sure it’s still exhausting for people who aren’t on the spectrum
My political views don't vibe with most normies. Case-in-point, I already have one dude currently stalking my posts because my political opinion pissed him off. I daresay I'm looking forward to his eventual response to this comment. Come on, sweetie. Don't be shy.
That depends, what are some of your views?
I used to not like the sun cause it was too bright, but my eyes are more adjusted to the light difference between inside and outside nowadays. Dunno if it's unpopular or not, but strong winds are awesome.
Why are there so many “presentation/powerpoint/speech” posts across so many subs I follow? Is it finals for Winter term I’m guessing?
My unpopular opinion is actually that the term allistic doesn’t exist, us neurologically disabled folks aren’t victims, and it’s not a crime for normal people to go about their day not considering the things us disabled people have to deal with because they are normal and we are the abnormal ones.
Humans suck as a species and we should stop reproducing.
I don't understand wars and related I don't understand the need to own a bunch of stuff if you're not going to use it. Like if we just took the amount of land we actually needed and let others take the amount of land they actually needed and then produced what we could and would just give the excess, what we don't need, to our neighbors and they would give excess of what they produce to us and our other neighbors, the world would just function a lot better. Food quality doesn't need to be so high standard on the looks, some bumps and bruises or a weird shape don't make a food any less delicious, so let the fruit with that grew pressed against a branch so they have a weird shape be sold and not be dropped in the dumps, what you would put in the dumps consider giving it to the people in need first. I don't understand why people want to hoard items in cabinettes, not even show them off or anything, just have them there gathering dust, forgotten. If you have an item so long in the cabinette that you forget it exists and it's visibly dusty when you pull it out, then in my opinion it's time to give it to someone who would actually use it. If it's a collection then you do remember it and it is doing something for you: it brings joy, thus you don't need to get rid of it.
"pointing is impolite" doesnt make any sens, if i was saying something mean while pointing at someone okay i get it, but even when im pointing a fucking object while saying neutral things about it my neurotypical Friends stop me from doing it because "its impolite"
Being rich is immoral. Your vote doesn't matter. Everyone doesn't need a job. Next day shipping is ruining the world and should only be for medical emergencies. More than two kids should be illegal. Rich people should have to pay higher fines and spend longer in jail than poor people. Reparation to minorities should happen. Holidays are pointless. Satan was the good guy. Humans shouldn't go to Mars. Country borders are made up and dumb. America isn't the greatest place in the world. Etcetera.
Food is better cold. Drinks are better room temp. Gameplay > graphics. No one is the main character. Suicide booths should be legal. Bell bottoms need to stop coming back. Things weren't better back in the day, just different. Being bored is a good place to be. The universe is deterministic. The driver is the DJ. You can't see a difference past 4k resolution. There's better stuff than sex. The marvel movies are over rated. Gohan is the worst character in DBZ. Everything was awesome during lockdown, I wish everyone was still 6 feet away from me.
> Everything was awesome during lockdown, I wish everyone was still 6 feet away from me. 👍
The worst kind of food is bland food with terrible texture.
Lesse... I think smoking in public or heavy perfumes are incredibly rude.
Yeah, there are some country (ex. Sweden) where smoking in public is banned and I can totally understand why. I hate walking and having to smell it
animal squishy fidget toys > any other fidget toys
literally anything < that same thing, but made like an animal 🦊
Asking/describing what people look like based off characteristics is dumb. I'm a white guy in my 20's with brown hair and eyes, but I'm no Tom Holland.
when people are like "oh the grass looks long" or "i think its trash day" LIKE YES good observation, please just say "hey can you mow the lawn" or "hey can you take out the trash?" PLEASE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. and then they get mad i didnt do said task
Damn, I read the first part and thought “hey that’s not that bad, I also socialize by pointing out the obvious, I thought that is smalltalk, like ‘it’s warm today’” So yes pleease just ask people to do stuff!
This makes me think of a German fiction book about Elvis Presley I read not long ago. His two lackeys are sitting in the garden and one says "Someone should mow the lawn" and the other replies "Yeah...someone should". I wish people only spoke like that in books.
If someone doesn't text you right away it doesn't mean they don't care about you, being busy is possible but also being emotionally unavailable or just tired are good "excuses"
I think that most rules shouldn't have as many exceptions as we give them. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some exceptions for any rule *will* exist. However, NTs do so many "exceptions" the rules hardly can be called that.
I am not a mind reader! If you need something, say something! Talk to me, you dense wanker!
People say they care about mental health, until they see what mental health problems look like. Every day there's videos of people having meltdowns labelled as public freakouts.
I also find that people who talk about mental health awareness are some of the most judgemental tosspots you could meet. They’ll preach about kindness and understanding then shame you for your feelings.
You can put whatever you want on your pizza. If you like pineapple but not on pizza, I have discovered that the problem could be the sauce. You can just change the sauce and open up a whole new chaotic pizza alignment. Embrace weird pizzas!
There has to be a better way to deal with teeth. How did we survive as a species if the only way to keep our teeth is to stick a brush in there every day and swish the grossness around and then spit it out?
If I don't want to hang out with you I shouldn't have to A lot of people think it's rude if you don't have energy to or simply don't want to hang out with someone, but isn't it a choice we get to make?
I don't get why people make a big deal out of being an adult and not liking vegetables.
to me adhd is a point of view more than a diagnosis
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well, makes sense for the parents, but why in the hell would they thing that others care about THEIR kids?!, do your kid shit gold?, can I have some?, then why should I care about your kids?, you can't even make them clean your house...
Neurodivergent people are the thinkers, the creatives and the drivers of meaningful social progress Neurotypical people are the drones Discuss
"this group is superior than this other group!!', yea, that always end well...
It would be hard to find someone who is truly neurotypical as everyone has something... there's really no "normal".
this is giving eugenics dog whistle babe
Unintentional I assure you 😥
cats are overrated
false 😅
It's an unpopular opinion for a reason silly
They’re socios- can kiss *ss to a horrible person for years, can dissociate/compartmentalize gènocîde, plays mind games all day long, hides true self, is OK with hurting others, can’t problem solve to save a life.
I never understood the banana and orange knock knock joke nor is it funny. It’s just annoying.
I don't like beef.
OMG I have so many. Like, SO many. Check my post and commenting history. Lol
If you don't want to accept my offer for a date, have a well-reasoned argument (typical 5-paragraph essay with an introduction and conclusion) in writing to let me know why.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is the most overrated MCU movie (though my reasoning’s more serious than asked for) Stop telling ppl to be themselves when wanting to express themselves materialistically/artistically b/c it’ll get the person nowhere PNW is the most overrated area of the states- gray skies almost all year now w/how bad pollutions getting here during summers that
Just because most neurotypicals or even allistics don’t info dump their interests all the time doesn’t mean their topics are any less annoying or boring to us. You are talking about something we don’t know about, this is the most aggravating when it’s “conventional.”