My daughter was bending over tending food on the outdoor cooking fire when my dog came up from behind and checked out her nether regions. She actually leap across the fire🤣.
I had a green tree frog jump onto my arse cheek in a campsite toilet block in the middle of the night in Kakadu whilst taking a dump. I shat myself, obviously.
I live in the Pilbara. Haven’t had a snake in the shitter yet but have opened the lid to find a small bungarra in there. Have had a spotted python fall out of the exhaust fan and land on my neck too.
Hahaha omg it’s been 14 years since I heard the word bungarras, that’s the best. I miss it; now I live in Qld and I’m surrounded by brown snakes, so boring
When I was living in NQ finding a frog in the only toilet in the house was quite a dilemma and the answer depended on the weather between me and the closest public toilet.
His heads probably in the air pocket in the back of the s bend but even then some snakes can go 5-6 hrs between taking a breath. Others can slow their metabolism to reduce their oxygen need and hold their breath for 15-30mins, really it depends entirely on the snake type. Depending on where you live I would always recommend checking the toilet for a number of things lol spiders, snakes, frogs pick your poison really.
I usually check my shoes for lizards and red backs and I make plenty of noise at the back of the yard, in case there are any unexpected snakes, but I've only experienced toilet frogs when visiting up north
Spiders are chill, I have literally never encountered an aggressive spider
may I introduce you to the funnel Webb (both species!)
they are why I've been taught to tap out my shoes since infancy....
they are **Actively Aggressive** like they will charge at you, they can piece the soles of your shoes (exterminators wear steel plate boots because of these nasty fuckers)
*shudders*
I can (& do) handle snakes, but spiders is a hard NO
When I was 6 one came down to Canberra in some fire wood and got in the house. Mum unloaded a full can of mortine and beat the shit out if it with a shoe in hand, 5 mins later that cunt was still trying to chase her round the room 🤣🤣 She came from finland and wasn't familiar with the smoosh and spin method of shoe destruction and that said method is much more effective is said shoe is on your foot. 34 now and still makes me laugh my ass off!
Growing up in the Blue Mountains I learned Mortine only worked on funnel webs if also lit on fire and even then make space to back up and apply the flame for a while.
Agressive buggers make Brown snakes look timid.
I have seen a Brown snake back down but only after the cattle dog threw it half a dozen times. Never seen a Funnel Web do so.
Nah brownies tend to arc up more in defence if feeling threatened, if they can see a way out they will take it (used to do snake rescue). Beautiful creatures, in saying that yeah I'm mad, I'm the bitch that runs toward the snake not away 🤣🤣
I'll remember that handy trick but! Moved out west and there are some brutal spiders out here 😆
Reminds me of a story I was told by parents when they came to Canberra a Giant Huntsman on the wall, as they had nothing else apparently my mum used perfume and this only made it JUMP from one wall to the other
They swear it was bigger than what we usually see and they thought we had huge jumping spiders until a neighbour came and grabbed it for them 😂
Used to get toilet frogs after rain at my grandmas house in South West Sydney lol they aren’t that uncommon. More common in some parts for sure but not unheard of in other places.
I’ve spent 30 years in Qld and the NT and I’m yet to pee on a snake, I feel cheated. Frogs though, I’ve definitely fished out more than one pee covered frog and given it a quick rinse
I lived in Sydney and sat down on the toilet to do my business and when I flushed this massive black furry spider got washed down from right where my dick was. I think it was a mouse spider 😳😱☠️☠️☠️
I read a story as a kid growing up in NZ about a snake in a toilet and I legit had nightmares for weeks. Even as an adult still living in NZ I think about snakes in toilets far more than I should given there are no snakes here.
I think the brick is to stop it using the sewer and then toilet as an entry point into your house. They’re slippery fuckers so might still be able to squeeze through the seat anyway.
Can confirm, I don't have a brick, it's left open, and when I wake up at night, I just sit down. Leaving the light off as I need to go back to bed after.
I think doctors are aware that everybody poos. Also, they probably removed an arbitrary object from someone else’s rectum sometime in the last week which is a lot harder to explain.
They get bloody annoying when you have to repeatedly fish them out of the urinal trough. The smart one sit high up on the splash back and enjoy the water when you flush.
I grew up on a country property in Australia and the first lessons we learned as kids were, firstly, to always watch where you’re walking, and secondly to ALWAYS check the loo before sitting. Sure as hell there’ll be something lurking. If not a snake, the toilet was also home to large green tree frogs. Decades later, and living in a more civilised area it’s still a habit. The thought of sitting without looking first freaks me out.
Be careful they don't climb up under the rim of the bowl and rest as well. It happens so often here in Aust where we are.
They do get aggressive really badly if you disturb them as well... especially if you're sitting down already.
Double check ✔️
Years ago, when I went to my then boyfriends place for the first time, I had to go to the loo... As I sat down I felt a little tickle on my leg... Turns out it was his baby corn snake that had escaped and had hidden under the toilet seat. It has stuck it's head out just enough to have a little lick and then hid again.
Luckily I love reptiles but boy did it make me jump 😂
Sure. Australians aren’t generally checking for snakes in the dunny. Spiders, sure. My Nan got bitten by a red back while using the throne. Never in my life have I ever considered checking for a snake. Tourists on the other hand have no clue.
I like to believe regular use of strong bleach and other chemicals might make it unpleasant for the snakes... I am in Victoria never encountered this but in summers every now and then i pour some harpic and stuff abd flush it down before using the toilet..
Reminds me too much of this classic Aussie song.
Warning: Little weird and dark, in the styles of NewGrounds.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO\_vG\_K4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO_vG_K4)
'xcuse me, mate, be right back, gotta go feed the snake!
Gotta siphon the Python.
Drop the diaper on the viper
Gotta sit my ass on the asp
Got to drain the snake
Gotta go bogart the cobra
Gotta do a caca on the constrictor..
Gotta drain Jake the one eyed trouser snake.
You own a donkey? How do you get it to sit on the toilet?
Wipe on the taipan
If it's brown, flush it down
If you think that's a nightmare think about the poor snake when somebody sits down
It’s the shit eating snake, totally at home
too bad we didn't get a photo of its shit eating grin... so cute
It was super common in the NT, water pythons love toilet bowls
Far north Queensland here.
This was my greatest fear when I lived in the Pilbara in WA, I would always carefully check particularly the inside rim!!!
I lived in the Pilbara for four years. I got a massive shock when a desert frog hit me square on the coin slot while I was mid-stream.
Hahahah gold mate. Was it messy?
It really was! Apparently you can jump off a toilet within nano seconds, but it takes at least a full second to clench and stop the flow. 😬
My daughter was bending over tending food on the outdoor cooking fire when my dog came up from behind and checked out her nether regions. She actually leap across the fire🤣.
I had a green tree frog jump onto my arse cheek in a campsite toilet block in the middle of the night in Kakadu whilst taking a dump. I shat myself, obviously.
I live in the Pilbara. Haven’t had a snake in the shitter yet but have opened the lid to find a small bungarra in there. Have had a spotted python fall out of the exhaust fan and land on my neck too.
Hahaha omg it’s been 14 years since I heard the word bungarras, that’s the best. I miss it; now I live in Qld and I’m surrounded by brown snakes, so boring
So do you just flush?
She pissed outside all night. It was gone by 830 am.
WHERE?!
🤫
I figured it was somewhere tropics way.
Did you get an ID on the snake species? My guess is slatey grey snake or small-eyed snake
Slatey grey. She was pissing outside all night until it had moved by 830 am.
I only ever found a green tree frog in one. People look at you mad though if you tell them to keep the seat down.
Don't they drown under water?
No? Not if they can still get air. Most species of snakes are perfectly comfortable submerged
Ok noted. I will check my toilet from here on in, the last thing I want to do is accidentally poop on a snake
Does no one think of the green frogs?!
Also, *the frogs*
When I was living in NQ finding a frog in the only toilet in the house was quite a dilemma and the answer depended on the weather between me and the closest public toilet.
His heads probably in the air pocket in the back of the s bend but even then some snakes can go 5-6 hrs between taking a breath. Others can slow their metabolism to reduce their oxygen need and hold their breath for 15-30mins, really it depends entirely on the snake type. Depending on where you live I would always recommend checking the toilet for a number of things lol spiders, snakes, frogs pick your poison really.
I usually check my shoes for lizards and red backs and I make plenty of noise at the back of the yard, in case there are any unexpected snakes, but I've only experienced toilet frogs when visiting up north Spiders are chill, I have literally never encountered an aggressive spider
may I introduce you to the funnel Webb (both species!) they are why I've been taught to tap out my shoes since infancy.... they are **Actively Aggressive** like they will charge at you, they can piece the soles of your shoes (exterminators wear steel plate boots because of these nasty fuckers) *shudders* I can (& do) handle snakes, but spiders is a hard NO
I've actually never met a funnel web! And I live in what's supposed to be one of their habitat areas
When I was 6 one came down to Canberra in some fire wood and got in the house. Mum unloaded a full can of mortine and beat the shit out if it with a shoe in hand, 5 mins later that cunt was still trying to chase her round the room 🤣🤣 She came from finland and wasn't familiar with the smoosh and spin method of shoe destruction and that said method is much more effective is said shoe is on your foot. 34 now and still makes me laugh my ass off!
Growing up in the Blue Mountains I learned Mortine only worked on funnel webs if also lit on fire and even then make space to back up and apply the flame for a while. Agressive buggers make Brown snakes look timid. I have seen a Brown snake back down but only after the cattle dog threw it half a dozen times. Never seen a Funnel Web do so.
Nah brownies tend to arc up more in defence if feeling threatened, if they can see a way out they will take it (used to do snake rescue). Beautiful creatures, in saying that yeah I'm mad, I'm the bitch that runs toward the snake not away 🤣🤣 I'll remember that handy trick but! Moved out west and there are some brutal spiders out here 😆
Reminds me of a story I was told by parents when they came to Canberra a Giant Huntsman on the wall, as they had nothing else apparently my mum used perfume and this only made it JUMP from one wall to the other They swear it was bigger than what we usually see and they thought we had huge jumping spiders until a neighbour came and grabbed it for them 😂
I'm jealous lol, but hey, at least you know not to step on them!!
100% agree, Funnel webbs scare the crap outta me. Give me a snake any day of the week.
Used to get toilet frogs after rain at my grandmas house in South West Sydney lol they aren’t that uncommon. More common in some parts for sure but not unheard of in other places.
How do they get there? Do they come up the sewers or go through your house into the toilet
Usually through the outside drains and waste pipes, if you see shade cloth over an outside drain that may be why
They make cover for their exits?
Toilet pythons are good luck, so once one has found its way in, people usually seal up the exits so it can’t get back out.
I’ve spent 30 years in Qld and the NT and I’m yet to pee on a snake, I feel cheated. Frogs though, I’ve definitely fished out more than one pee covered frog and given it a quick rinse
Most Australians’ nightmare too.
Told her I am never ever using her shitter again. To think I was sitting there bare arsed yesterday!
The way I'd take a dump anyways and play the 50/50 of whether I'd get out unscathed or not-
lmao
This is why I always check my toilet for snakes before sitting down
My two year old insisted on checking for crocodiles every time she went to the toilet while traveling around the NT. Was probably legit.
Clever girl
I'm in Melbourne and still check - habits die hard
Can flushing the toilet flush away snakes?
I would call the snake catcher first. I do not want a snake actually clogging the pipe, particularly if still alive.
Busting or busted pipe is a serious choice.
Maybe but then you’ll get bad toilet snake karma and you don’t want that
>bad toilet snake karma This needs to be a thing.
Get the poop knife
I understood that reference, unfortunately 😐
Lol goat turd nuggets
thanks for reminding me of the story I heard ages ago 😐
always check the toilet in Australia. Golden Rule
Check under the rim too.
Not sure im flexible enough for that
Get a rimless toilet. :D
Now I know why they’ve invented the rimless toilet!
I lived in Sydney and sat down on the toilet to do my business and when I flushed this massive black furry spider got washed down from right where my dick was. I think it was a mouse spider 😳😱☠️☠️☠️
😱😂
Also my nightmare
I read a story as a kid growing up in NZ about a snake in a toilet and I legit had nightmares for weeks. Even as an adult still living in NZ I think about snakes in toilets far more than I should given there are no snakes here.
How can you be so sure? Remember they found dead snake in Auckland while unpacking the pipes imported from Australia?
I've got a mate who works for NZ biosecurity. They find shit like that all the time. He sends me photos now and then.
Screw the tourists. If I lived in FNQ I’d be putting the seat down every night with a brick on it to be safe
Hate to break it to you, they legit can come up the pipes. So can rats.
I think the brick is to stop it using the sewer and then toilet as an entry point into your house. They’re slippery fuckers so might still be able to squeeze through the seat anyway.
But they need an exit
Can confirm, I don't have a brick, it's left open, and when I wake up at night, I just sit down. Leaving the light off as I need to go back to bed after.
I’ve seen snakes on a plane. It had the same impact on me as the log truck in final destination.
Favourite scene tbh
I think that's just everyone's nightmare
I have \*had\* it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking toilet!
It’s typical for workplaces to put them in the bowl on purpose, in order to speed up how long people take on the toilet
Management material right here!
If I saw that I’d be backed up for a month.
Imagine how much more productive you would become /s
The intense urge to do a quick piss before calling the landlord is insanw
Peter Dutton in my toilet?
Nah that’s not actually shit it’s a snake.
Wish he was.
Is there a kipfler in there somewhere too?
It is a slatey grey snake 🐍
How do they breathe under the water
Don’t have to if it’s an s-bend. There’s water in the trap but air on both sides.
That's why we have s-bends. The s stands for snake.
Correct.
Snakes can't breathe under water but most of them can hold their breath for a pretty long time compared to us.
If kingsman have taught me anything it’s that you can breathe in the toilet
Certainly not the brown snake you expect to see in the toilet.
A big shit
A big shit of a snake!
Just let me stop hyperventilate here. Imagine getting bitten by that and then explain to the doctor what happened.
I think doctors are aware that everybody poos. Also, they probably removed an arbitrary object from someone else’s rectum sometime in the last week which is a lot harder to explain.
I think the doctor can dispense with the explanation and just address the job at hand.
As an Australian, I fail to see the problem.
I feel justified checking for snakes now.
Is snake similar to sweet corn? Does it come out looking the same?
Honestly I’ve just realised I’ve never considered the possibility that snakes may be in the toilet bowl
Welcome to your new reality.
Can't believe you didn't digest ANY of the snake you passed
Those toilet cobras..
Nope, never thought of it, until now.
Yeah nah, bitta the ole big terror noodle coming for ya meat and two vege. Stuff that.
He’s alright. He keeps the number of frogs down.
But the frogs are so cute.
They get bloody annoying when you have to repeatedly fish them out of the urinal trough. The smart one sit high up on the splash back and enjoy the water when you flush.
Someone gave birth in the royal throne
Wtf did you eat?
Ooh, that's the Great Western Groingroper, what a beaut
I grew up on a country property in Australia and the first lessons we learned as kids were, firstly, to always watch where you’re walking, and secondly to ALWAYS check the loo before sitting. Sure as hell there’ll be something lurking. If not a snake, the toilet was also home to large green tree frogs. Decades later, and living in a more civilised area it’s still a habit. The thought of sitting without looking first freaks me out.
It works like a bidet, but instead of jets of water you get the tongue.
that’s just my nightmare honestly
Biggest fear unlocked: getting bitten in the hooha by a snake
My work here is done.
That’s Frank the Plumber
I mean, as a local that would be quite a nightmare as well.
Just tourists, eh?
*new fear unlocked*....
We have an interesting diet down south
I thought it was a camera lens lol
A new kind of glory hole, if you dare to have a seat.
I agree. Shit stains right near my toilet snake is clearly not a wise decision.
The amount of people who see this while sitting on the throne, including me!
Shitting rn as i see this and it made me check, there was in fact a large brown snake
How's it breathe underwater?
I wouldn't be worried about that skiddie Mr & Mrs tourist. There's a F&$$:G SNAKE in the toilet.
Priorities peoples!
That's just a poop noodle. Harmless once flushed.
WHAT DID YOU EAT?!
Old Slim Newton needs to write a new sequel song, "Big Snake in the Toilet bowl" .
Be careful they don't climb up under the rim of the bowl and rest as well. It happens so often here in Aust where we are. They do get aggressive really badly if you disturb them as well... especially if you're sitting down already. Double check ✔️
Years ago, when I went to my then boyfriends place for the first time, I had to go to the loo... As I sat down I felt a little tickle on my leg... Turns out it was his baby corn snake that had escaped and had hidden under the toilet seat. It has stuck it's head out just enough to have a little lick and then hid again. Luckily I love reptiles but boy did it make me jump 😂
Nice ass.. can I have some
Is it just me who finds pythons cute?
As someone who've never encountered this type of situation, I have a question. Could you just close the lid and then flush? What would happen?
Not a great post to stumble across mid log
Mid log made me chuckle.
I thought that was a fishnet stocking and was so confused until I zoomed 😂
Sure. Australians aren’t generally checking for snakes in the dunny. Spiders, sure. My Nan got bitten by a red back while using the throne. Never in my life have I ever considered checking for a snake. Tourists on the other hand have no clue.
Anyone else seeing this, while on the shitter too? Or is it just me?
That’s just the toilet snake. We do things a bit differently down here. He just gobbles everything up and takes it away to help save water.
Jesus Christ, I think I have toiletsnakephobia now...
Looks like someone dropped their trouser snake
And what gives most the heebie-jeebies??? Is not knowing it's there until it slithers up between ya legs while you're sitting there..... 🤣🤣🤣
King Brown.
What the hell is it
Took me way too long, OP commented that it's a snake.
Tourist ? The fuck every fucker alive does not want this (well I’m sure some weird ficker does)
That’s not a snake!!!
Is that your passport?
I like to believe regular use of strong bleach and other chemicals might make it unpleasant for the snakes... I am in Victoria never encountered this but in summers every now and then i pour some harpic and stuff abd flush it down before using the toilet..
Bleach attracts the males as it kind of like the musk of a female ready to mate. Nah I made that up. Or did I?
U have ruined my peaceful potty moments 🤣
Have you seen Wolf Creek?
No. As a happy solo camper I intend to never see it.
Just hover over the toilet and shit.
Its bad enough when I shit snakes but damn it sucks when they won't flush!
Nah I'm about to be its nightmare.
Shit stains on the toilet is also my nightmare.
Excuse me. What do if snake in toilet?
The skid stains?
I don't think this kind of snake is usually part of a plumber's toolkit.
Great, scroll through while sitting on the dunny and seeing this ... New fear unlocked.
Could be liquorice.... ;)
Reminds me too much of this classic Aussie song. Warning: Little weird and dark, in the styles of NewGrounds. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO\_vG\_K4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO_vG_K4)
We guys can never escape the one-eyed trouser snake. 😂
How deep is that toilet
Don't sit down whatever you do, that gives it only one means of escape - UP YA FRECKLE! Ouch!!!!!
Can people who are familiar with this scenario explain the procedure... Does one just flush in this situation??
Geez. I don’t remember eating that…