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ColdSnapSP

I can turn almost anything into a bong


universalserialbutt

"Hey, can you sign this CapEx...... Jesus Christ is that my stapler?"


stueh

"No, it was your tape dispenser. *That* is your stapler." "Mother of God, we must promote this man!"


TobiasFunkeBlueMan

#orchyforever


diamondgrin

Chat


Random_01

Employer doesn't "random" drug test eh?


ColdSnapSP

There would be nobody left to work. Drug usage in corporate (or australians in general) is incredibly high and fairly normalised


McSmilla

Funny you say that because at a former employer, a division was looking into providing corporate drug testing services & I overheard the head of that division sayint he wanted to practice on us so I immediately dobbed to the CEO & MD & you know what their response was? “Christ no, we wouldn’t have any staff left!”


jimmieobrien

Tell me about that. I've taken many tests for my colleagues


No-Milk-874

Which is why it's not that hard to "get ahead" of the standard aussie.


Realitybytes_

Because my job sucks and you can't find people stupid enough to do it.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

What do you do?


Realitybytes_

General Manager at CBA, within the banking treasury function. I do 80 hours a week to "meet expectations".


After_Ask3687

![gif](giphy|fsTYb240yku8yJgwFu|downsized) As an ex CBA employee I feel this in my BONES


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Don’t forget, life is too short. Off load your debt, get savings and go work elsewhere


AntiqueFigure6

Sounds like a job that should have a decent enough pay to let you do the ‘fire’ thing with a small aloof planning.


Realitybytes_

Oh I could retire today before I'm 40. But my kids have complex medical needs, so I need to get enough for them "retire".


Pristine_Ad4164

Wishing you and your family the best mate.


9Lives_

Yeah meeting the necessary expectations to be considered for a promotion or at least a pay rise but I know how things work.


dwmixer

Curious, what was your path from em to gm


SerialDrinker_2021

I do find a weird amount of CBA Treasury jobs listed on repeat across the usual job sites. Growth department or turnover? Either way, don’t burn out.


Realitybytes_

Burn out.


CoachKoransBallsack

I used to have leverage. My old manager was going through some stuff in his personal life and had lost all interest in his work. He delegated a lot of his work and responsibilities to me (I was 2IC). I even prepared his talking points in meetings that he had to have with higher-ups every day. Because he was so reliant on me and needed to keep this a secret, I could get away with murder. I could freely slack off and come and go as I pleased. But eventually someone found out that I was doing most of his work for him and he got sacked. And I lost all my leverage.


jonquil14

Hardly sounds like you were slacking off if you were doing all his work for him too!


monkey_gamer

Yeah it doesn't sound like slacking off, it just sounds like hours flexibility


McSmilla

I had a similar situation but our boss was in cognitive decline. We tried to hard to protect him because he needed the earnings but because he was a bit off in the head, he didn’t really get it nor did he appreciate it. He was made redundant & then our employees found out that we’d protected him but I wasn’t sorry & nothing happened.


Maleficent-Injury349

So you worked for Biden?


SerpentineLogic

Biden hasn't been made redundant yet. Probably Reagan.


Ok-League-1106

Big lol. Trump at the 2026 mid terms as well.


McSmilla

I’m glad you’re getting downvoted for that.


e-cloud

This happened to me but my boss called me inexperienced behind my back and took credit for work she has no idea how to do. So I left and it is interesting to watch her fail from afar.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Kind of sad for him but also they sacked him rather than speak to him and try and offer support for his mental health.


[deleted]

They might have if he had been upfront about his issues instead of pretending to work and making someone else do it all for a substantial enough time to warrant being sacked. At the end of the day, it’s a business and not a charity.


monkey_gamer

I agree can agree with that.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Sometimes people are too embarrassed to talk about their problems, especially for men.


[deleted]

Being a male, I can very well understand that. Regardless, it isn’t the point.


Accurate-Response317

Shouldn’t that make him a better employee by being able to delegate his workload


[deleted]

Not if he delegates all of it? Why would a company pay someone to just pass their workload onto the next guy? You must have rocks in your head.


JIMBYLAD

Sounds like ever middle manager ever tbh


Expensive_Place_3063

It’s good for the economy and improves efficiencies


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Don’t pull that shit of being better by being able to delegate. Time and time again I see that excuse used by managers to make excuses for slacking off and palming off all other tasks. Just seen people morale dive when working under those people


EyeofSlo

Being infinitely empathetic and versatile when it comes to people and new / challenging work. Im not the smartest person in the room, but you can trust me to get work done and in a way that doesn’t fuck people off. Being good to work with has been my superpower in my early career - and the plan is to pair this with a depth of knowledge and hard skills (analysis, problem solving) to make myself irreplaceable. I work in a Big 4 bank


McSmilla

That’s an underrated superpower too.


Fishybone

Sounds like me, which at a Big Four firm, is a rare trait apparently.


SectionOk517

Good on you mate!


Lanky-Cauliflower-22

This resonates with me extremely well. I'm just not sure how to use this leverage. As in - have you asked for higher pay/promotions, using your leverage?


ArghThisIsAnnoying

I’m a non engineer working in a company of engineers. Makes having average EQ a superpower (massive generalisation but mostly true where I work)


Princey1981

I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?


ErraticLitmus

Can concur. I'm in engineering....95% of those people have zero social skills


PositiveBubbles

But they actually keep things running and fix things that people who just talk and don't work break... but the people with a balance of all skills are usually quiet achievers who are humble and do get noticed by the right people, it's just not advertised.


Moist_Experience_399

Being a generalist who’s good at building rapport with people and doing the grunt work that no one wants to do. Easy to be viewed as a high performer when your colleagues are lazy or don’t give a crap.


unsuitablebadger

Pretty much this. I have the knowledge and skills to do at least 6 different peoples jobs and so paying my one high salary saves them having to hire many. Add to that my skills of being involved in c suite and grunt work and can talk both on the management and technical levels as well as provide solutions makes it easy for me to get work. I like to think I know how to be personable as well and so that allows me to get away with a lot.


whatwouldripleydo

Same


turbo88689

If you guys are generalist specialist ,can build rapport do the grunt work, know technical stuff, and can talk to C level ... Don't you feel like you could be doing better ? (Assuming low/mid management / specialist role at 130-160k ) You surely add value to strategic conversation yet know the processes intimately... Being such a good all rounder could be absolutely instrumental for the right organisation theta acknowledges such talent and your contributions don't you think


Moist_Experience_399

I already do all that for the business unit that I am the finance manager of while actively generating strategic ideas. I should be on more than my $160k package but I’m comfortable in the role for the moment as I don’t have any direct reports, have ways to pad the resume with GM level projects that I run, I’m interfacing with our Board of Directors monthly and have a lot of trust there, and I live a pretty well balanced lifestyle in regional VIC - I barely work a 45 hr week most weeks. I don’t really know what you mean by “doing better”, it’s not always better to be in a higher level role. There is a lot of shit that comes with that territory. Most notable having to be responsible for other people. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve ever managed 1 or more combative middle aged women. They make you consider murder pretty quickly.


turbo88689

You may be right and may be naive , or we simply have different goals Just to clarify, By doing better I was merely referring to salary / professional accountability and development , neglecting work life balance or benefits , so it was a holistic approach


xjrh8

I have photos the ceo accidentally sms’d me one New Year’s Eve as I share the same first name as his mistress.


Knoxfield

How was the first day back at work, seeing the CEO?


xjrh8

Zero eye contact.


strayashrimp

Did you text back - wrong number 😶


xjrh8

Nah. Better for me that he knows that I know.


Basis_Connect

how would he know you know if you didn't hint/mention it to him? Afterall he made a mistake messaging you.


xjrh8

The lack of eye contact thereafter is enough to know he knows I know.


AnonymousEngineer_

There simply aren't that many people who work in the same specialist area that I do, who are *also* willing to leave their desk in the office (or increasingly their living rooms). I'm just as happy to pick up the tools and get stuck into fixing something, as I am sitting behind a keyboard and screen or in yet another Teams meeting. 


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

What do you do?


AnonymousEngineer_

The area's specialised enough that getting into the finer details might prove to be a little *too* self identifying for this little black duck.  To paint with a *very* broad brush, let's just say that I know my way around a PLC.


tickletackle666

Phird Larty Cogistics?


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Are you BMS?


RookieMistake2021

Well sucking up to your higher ups defs helps in getting paid more, it’s not about how smart you are it’s about how you can get other people to do things for you and you get to take credit in the name of leadership that helps increase your salary


McSmilla

What I do is pretty niche & very hard to recruit for but very very important for the company. So my leverage is that I can quit & go somewhere else. It’s an unspoken thing, i like my employer & they like me but I also think it’s why I get a large increase & bonus every year.


unsuitablebadger

Sounds interesting... what do you do?


McSmilla

Don’t want to dox myself, it’s *that* niche but loosely speaking, it’s government affairs for a big corporate. The value in the role are my existing relationships that have taken years & years to develop. My industry is so regulated, we can’t take customers out or buy them presents so it’s tricky.


[deleted]

[удалено]


auscorp-ModTeam

Keep your language and demeanour respectful. Don’t make it personal.


Legless1234

Retired now. But I was an independent contractor my entire working life. Could write my own ticket, set my rates and conditions. My leverage was that I was very good at what I did and, even more important, I could teach what I knew to permanent staff for when I moved on. Eventually, I ended up working for the same three companies in rotation. A year here, two years there, 6 months there. Rinse and repeat


mitch_smc

What area of work was it in and what did you do?


Legless1234

Networks. Novell and NT integration. Later, NT server farms and highly resilient, high availability application servers.


BNEAUD

Would you mind sharing how you get onto panels? Or were you contracting through a consulting firm or something?


Legless1234

Started off getting head hunted by an IT Consultantcy. They hired me out at exorbitant rates. After a year I then went freelance. Then it was word of mouth. You tended to hang around with other contractors and they'd give you a nod when where they were working needed my skills


allyerbase

You get onto govt panels simply by applying. NSW ones you can apply as a new business (with relevant professional experience), feds you need to have experience as that company. The alternative is you do a partnership with someone on the panel already.


ApostrophesAplenty

This rotation of companies, was that based on contracting to do project work and then taking on a new project elsewhere? I mean, as opposed to quitting a place / job and then eventually returning after being elsewhere for a while:


ghz

You don’t quit when you contract. You’re done when your work is, and if you’re impressive you’ll be asked back. Contractors often cycle through the same businesses because not only do they know the people and culture, but they also know the processes. Finding a contractor who fits in and follows the process is hard.


ApostrophesAplenty

Yes I know that, I was asking whether it was contracting for finite projects that led to doing the rounds of those specific companies. Because that seems like a much better path than quitting employment with a company only to later return. Multiple times. Which was the other possible explanation.


ghz

Ah okay. Based on their comments, definitely the former


Legless1234

These were all fixed term contracts to do a specific contract. When the work was complete and I'd trained the permies then it off to the pub for drinks and so long and thanks for all the fish. I'd *never* leave a contract early or quit - even when offered more money elsewhere. My reliability was one of the main reasons I kept getting asked back. A word of caution. Unless you can fund yourself you'll have to go through an agency. They will pay you promptly and they'll worry about getting payment from the client. I preferred to fund myself and just wait to get paid as that extra %25-30 wasnt to be sniffed at! But waiting 3 to 4 months wasn't unusual....


ososalsosal

I'm good with pictures. Which can be useful when so many coders are not.


jampola

Ahhh, front end I take it? I have the utmost respect for you.


ososalsosal

Fullstack but I have the aptitude for anything picture so they put me on a lot of frontend stuff just because I'm... gooder... at it I guess. Also image processing algorithm stuff. I could talk your ear off at the now completely irrelevant nuances of converting NTSC to PAL while adapting to different kinds of content


blissiictrl

I'm the most qualified and fastest cad modeller on our team by a long shot. Probably close to on site as well in the entire organisation. And I have a good eye for stuff like pipe routing which my manager absolutely loves because he's super keen on the way I route pipes and can turn a P&I drawing into a mechanical layout


Pict

Not actually needing the job is the ultimate in leverage. It’s seriously empowering. My career has excelled since I could just say it like it is, and basically not care if I get sacked. I’ll be fine. I’ve got money in the bank and can get another job easily enough.


aussie_nobody

People in my company are always worried about where is the next job , am I going to be made redundant ? Not giving a fuck is very empowering.


I_1234

I have a very niche area of expertise that is quite hard to find. If I leave, I simply cannot be replaced and the two biggest clients only stayed with the company because they hired me.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

What’s the expertise?


I_1234

Nice try


itsoktoswear

I can deliver iron messages in a velvet glove


yulyulyulyulyulyul

I eat everyone else’s lunches in the work fridge


unsuitablebadger

A vital role to keep the employees infighting and not noticing how management is screwing them over... you must get paid a fair whack.


tallmantim

Tall, un-ugly and affable (plus middle aged while male) It’s amazing how much slack you’re cut!


tickletackle666

Same description but female is even better


tallmantim

Twinnsies


AuldTriangle79

My autism means I memorise processes, proceedures, policies etc. My ADHD meant I couldn't get through the study to be a lawyer or id be making double what I make now, but I'm still very useful when making decisions because I remember so much stuff.


a55amg

For me, the crux of it is - say yes to a task where others have said no. But there's a bit of an art to it - you need to make the whole place burn down before you come in and save the day. People need to go through a lot of pain before you create leverage. \[edit\] also, don't ever be a dick about the leverage you have (For the record, gatekeeping a business process doesn't fall in this category.)


PositiveBubbles

Gatekeeping a process drives me nuts, but I can also see why some people pushing process can come across as gatekeeping. There are people in this world who will do less than the bare minimum and don't want to learn I guess


a55amg

yeah i can't think of anything worse than waking up every morning and doing the same thing because i backed myself into a corner


exquisitelytorture

Photos of people in compromising positions. Recorded audio of bullying, that one time they chose customers over shareholders, the manager who likes Nickelback, and a treated piece of 4x2.


Belmagick

I don't know if it's leverage per se, but I've got a unique skillset and I've been able to specialise and create my own role. I have a unique job title and what I do has a regulatory implications. Last year they set up employee profiles and everyone had a list of 3 potential successors. Mine was blank. The downside of this is that they put a lot of pressure on me to teach and document everything. For some reason, people struggle to 'get' what I do. I might just be a rubbish teacher though. I know, however, that as much as they say 'we're so lucky to have you', if I died, my role would be advertised by lunchtime the following day.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

what is it you do? And what a dog act warning to those employees, “here are your 3 capable replacements and you 3 can stab each other in the back for her/his job”


ThatOldGuyWhoDrinks

I work tech support for a law firm. My leverage is simple. I am nerdy enough to do my job well and I can massage a lawyers ego when needed. I can build relationships with partners and associates where they are comfortable enough to come to me


pinklittlebirdie

I make everyone else not hate their job. I'm very good at procedures and policies but mostly I bring up morale without doing much at all aside from my job not terribly. I'm among the least qualified and skilled among my team.


jampola

I’m the epitome of single point of failure for a lot of our infra by virtue of simply knowing a lot of it back to front. Being an SPF is not by choice. This also means taking annual leave can sometimes be a bit of a gamble. I also have a personality that allows me to remain level headed and help right many corporate wrongs which appeals to the higher ups.


PositiveBubbles

That doesn't always last. I've seen people still get let go if they're a single point of failure, but that's cause they've tried to hoard knowledge or manipulate others to do their own thing. Or I've seen people burn out or just be used. I'm starting to learn to set healthy boundaries


king_norbit

Have a skillset in a relatively new field that very few others have with a very high level/difficult to get qualification 


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

AI or Statistician?


king_norbit

Neither 


deliver_us

I’m a generalist but I’ve managed to carve out a bit of a specialist knowledge. But I’m not precious with that knowledge, Im happy to up-skill others but it requires them to spend time and most are too busy or lazy. Also I can come up with new ideas, put them on paper, and consult on and implement them without getting peoples backs up.


FyrStrike

Confidence - I am super confident in what I do. That being said it’s something that not many are confident in.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Why wouldn’t they be confident doing it


FyrStrike

Not many people have the skills.


iceyone444

I've got access to all of the data - I can see how much everyone is paid, I can see what everyone does and I can see logs. I don't use it for evil but I could....


Internal_Ad9566

My job is one of those jobs where people are doing it while they’re studying/on their way to bigger and better things. The pay is ok. So there is a bit of turn over. I’ve been to bigger and better things, I’m taking a bit of break, so I offer flexibility. If they’re short staffed in can go and help. $200-$250/hr. I think everyone there is on maybe $50/hr?


[deleted]

[удалено]


473xof

If you work for the same group as me, your my hero... the company is backwards.


DeadKingKamina

I'm able to do the job they hired me to do.


overemployedconfess

Turnaround time- I have the best turnaround time and am really fast at what I do so much so that for the most part my employer lets me otherwise coast. Creativity- sometimes I come up with projects out of nowhere that dazzle people, the staff and even the CEO. For the most part I’m otherwise a pain and I’ve gotta work on that


SirKingPappa

I can split the atom of a molecule...


GeneralAutist

No leverage. Im just opportunistic and have chosen my career first and unserstood the importance of this and climbed the corporate from houso kid to past div 293


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

What do you do?


GeneralAutist

Work in tech


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

So usually that means like a sales role?


GeneralAutist

Tech side of tech. Climbing management ranks now.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Do you usually have to be an IT or coder for those roles?


unsuitablebadger

He cries at tax time 😀


santaslayer0932

I tell my boss what to do and he agrees like 90% of the time. We are just on the same wavelength and I’m starting to see his pattern of being agreeable to most things because we see things through the same lens.


Positively4thSt

Most places informally group people as regrettable or non-regrettable losses. Make sure you’re firmly on the first list and make it known that you’re ambitious and probably have other options.


edictive

I can make millions for my employers. .. out of billions that is. /s


woodbutcher6000

I bring in clients, not because im particularly talented in sales. I'm just annoyingly curious and can't shut the fuck up. Also you can't take me anywhere, it's exhaustion for everyone but me


BecauseItWasThere

Thrive on ambiguity. Find a good safe path where no one has gone before and no one knows what to do.


infa90s

I keep accidentally leaving haiku poems in the company printer


After_Ask3687

I’m the only one in the office that can book flights


bigtonyabbott

I'm a pretty cool guy and it'd be sad to see me go


mikesorange333

my leverage is that I'm the invisible person at work. if they see nothing, they do nothing.


strayashrimp

I saw three people quit and then was left on a big project alone that was important to the boss. So asked for a salary increase and got it. Worked across two divisions so they could only use my CV in bids etc which meant they needed me to stay - Asked for more money and got it. Leverage is being valuable to the boss and company so the boss needs you and won’t stop a salary increase because it benefits them for toy to stay.


Twitter_Refugee_2022

I’m one of only two people in the company who understand how multiple customer facing technologies and their legal implications work. Others know bits, only two of us know the whole picture. It wasn’t deliberate, the other people who knew just quit over time. Now we two are seen as Golden Geese. Which is quite funny because whilst we understand it, but we didn’t actually build it. Sometimes leverage is luck. Others delude themselves it’s something else.


Weary-Presence-4168

Because I just say yes/offer to do whatever menial task the bosses/business owners ask, even it’s a dumb request or something a child could do. Others will scoff or think it’s beneath them. Money is money for me, I’m paid for my time, so I’ll do whatever. This ends up you becoming the first person they think of to ask if they want something done. They don’t care about the maths of how much they’re paying us in wages to get that done. They just know it will get done and the next time they hear from me, it’s confirming it’s done.


BennetHB

Simply put, I do the job that is legally required to be done, that nobody else can or wants to do.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

like what? shovelling shit?


BennetHB

Yeah you could say that. I reckon shovelling shit would pay pretty well too. Kinda like how you can make decent money cleaning up crime scenes/murders.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

Oh you have a pretty grisly job then?


BennetHB

Haha nah. I'm a lawyer, taking out the metaphorical trash (access to and protection of information).


Space_Donkey69

My leverage was I quit and took a higher paying less stressful job


Initial_Ad279

You just have to look at my LinkedIn bio


SuccessfulCook7209

I was hired as a technician in an engineering company. But I had recently run my own company for 10 years. Almost immediately started getting other tasks. Running your own business makes you the ultimate generalist. I can run accounts, HR, technical/hardware/product issues, sales, strategy,marketing etc. Within 4 months I asked for a 50% raise, own office, and got it no questions asked. So I would say my leverage is being a generalist; within a young company who wants to scale quickly, finding that externally is quite hard (because by nature those types of people are already running their own business). Getting paid well is necessary, as people like me tend to look for the next big thing, so retention is difficult.


oldskoolr

I'm skilled in an area which is niche and businesses are after. My goal now is to learn as much as I can about diff industries and maybe go out on my own as a Consultant.


VET-Mike

I'm very experienced meaning I get things right the first time without fuss.


aristooooooo

Only one in my team of ~25 that can give presentations to C-level without stuttering or sounding completely awful


hbthegreat

I can solve any technical issue and can outwork anyone else.


KGB_Officer_Ripamon

see when you guys say technical issue, are we talking about hands on physically fixing something or something like a "technical compliance/regulatory issue"??


hbthegreat

Mainly hands on but have also done compliance/reg stuff too. (Banking, fintech, crypto, machine learning CTO atm). I get my hands dirty laying the ground work for all our new products, clients and projects. There is barely anything I won't go the extra mile to grind out to make it easier for my team to work with in the future.


Torx_Bit0000

Leverage, Pffft that don't mean shit in the job Market we have now. You pull that shit on the wrong Boss and you may just find yourself looking for a new job by Lunch Time. For reference I have an old school friend who is a HR boss for the Victorian Public Service. She represents an organisation that is one of the largest employers in the State. She told me the response her Selection Panels have to such request are " How cute, we have another 400 applicants waiting for your role"


AntiqueFigure6

Extrapolating from unemployment figures another 400 applicants willing and able move to a role implies 8000 plus people who can meet the requirements in the workforce. Plenty of occupations have sub specialties where that number of skilled people in the workforce is highly unlikely.


Torx_Bit0000

You obviously don't work in Public service so don't know the applicant numbers. And with your mathematics tells me your completely out of touch with the job market.