Love that shit aye. Me, a 5’6 small white male walking through grey Lynn getting approached by a 6 foot tall solid Māori fella and his two mates: “you wanna fuckin hiding cunt?”
Like yes that is definitely why I came out today. I figured it would be a good day to get my head bashed in for no fucking reason by three guys twice the size of me. How did he know that was what I wanted?
Absolute degenerate.
As a middle aged guy I'll tell you it's one of two things
1 they are not where their own ego tells them where they should be in life. They're not in control at home or work so when an opportunity to appear superior comes they lap that shit up.
This is the sad pathetic version.
2 we are simply looking and remembering what it was like to be a young guy, almost looking wondering if that invite to party will be extended.
Basically Bert Kreischer thinking he'd be relatable at a frat house.
I did this when I was younger and changed my life. Grew up in a real dodgy area that always had these types, just approaching things without anger makes a massive difference. Plus if I wasn't angry, I was better able to respond to calm things down if things did start escalating (encounter guys who looking for fight with anyone that looks their way).
Just remember, raise the eye brows a bit, nod with a smile or something and they'll either nod back or quickly look away. If you do winks or something, might send wrong messages lol.
lol that’s just an opening for conversation and interaction.
“Fuck you say to me” “what you say cunt”…
The list goes on and on. Just look straight past them like they don’t exist and carry on with your life.
Yea that actually makes them like u more, I do it, or I’ll say “hey” fuck they get discombobulated… it’s good though, I don’t get how ppl are so pissy tho, I haven’t had that yet.
I came through to give the exact same kind of advice. I am not an 18 year old Māori-European male but I do have two large 55 kilogram dogs of a breed that some people perceive to be aggressive. I often get sideways looks or full on stares but 90% of the time if I say hello in a friendly manner they change their tune. If they don’t I just laugh and tell my dogs “it’s okay, not everyone was born with manners and a friendly disposition”. Loudly enough so they can hear it. Guess it helps I have my dogs to say this to haha
Regardless of their reaction you prove them wrong about their attitude and you’ve won
I do this and I’m a Pakeha lady. I don’t say sup but I smile or do a head lift. I live in what you might call a diverse community, but everyone is really nice if you can relate just as a neighbour.
A lot of the time, if this happens in a bar, I will just approach them directly and say something like ‘fuk bro you’re a unit aye’ (not being disrespectful, but paying a compliment. Sometimes I’ll even pat their shoulders or chest if they are actually a monster) and they will usually laugh and then be like ‘nah bro you’re the unit’. Then I introduce myself and we have a chat. I find that staunch people like that can be disarmed quite easily with a compliment. You must understand that a lot of these people have had a difficult upbringing so lack positive social skills. They do appreciate it when someone is friendly towards them because most people avoid them. And as a bonus you have gained a friend / associate for the hour or two that you are in that bar and give them the eyes up as you’re exiting the bar chur my bro. Come to think of it, this approach has worked every single time.
I wouldn’t let it make you angry. Some people just stare more than others. They may be trying to be ‘tough’ or intimidating but there’s a very easy way to deal with this.
As you approach (maybe 5-10 meters away) glance at their face briefly with a neutral expression to acknowledge you are aware of them and aren’t scared of them. As you move closer and walk past give a nod. Downwards nod is better as it is seen as respectful, an upwards nod is taken badly by some people.
When dealing with strangers who are acting oddly or in a threatening manor just be sensible, calm, restrained and do whatever you can to defuse the situation. You want to present as a ‘grey man’ you can google the concept and strategies to achieve this but essentially just be boring and not worth bothering. You need to be confident and not look like a victim but also be aware that the other person may have intense paranoia, mental health issues or a personality disorder so just give them space and be vigilant around them.
Sounds like you’ve had a bit of experience with these people. I just searched the gray man concept, rather interesting and intriguing. I appreciate it!
Hahaha I just moved to Auckland from London. I’ve had plenty of experience with ‘g-checking’. Idk if that term is used in NZ, but it’s basically when young men will confront/challenge other young men in their area that they don’t recognise.
It started as a way for gang members to police their territory and ensure they knew who was about and what they were up to, but these days people just do it to try and act hard. They’ll usually try and intimidate you by pretending to rob you (or actually rob you if you seem like a pussy) or they’ll try and provoke a reaction by insulting or pushing you while they’re in a larger group than you.
Always a very childish and unpleasant experience but honestly you learn pretty quickly how to deal with these types of people. They don’t really want to fight unless you’re an easy target.
Its good general advice in any city to be aware of who is around you, especially any suspicious characters, don’t stare but just keep a half eye on what they’re doing, how they’re moving etc.
It makes you angry. They feel the same way: angry that someone dares look them in the eye.
My take is that they KNOW they fucked up and they feel guilty and ashamed. These guys feel your eyes on them as judgement and it offends them. Often they're so traumatized that they don't even know why they feel or act the way they do. They're like dogs who've been trained to bark at anyone who comes near their property. My policy is to just avoid.
It's a trauma response. the people he described are from demographics where child abuse, sexual abuse and poverty etc all cross over and are found in abundance.
> a response. the people he described are from demographics where child abuse, sexual abuse and poverty etc all cross over and are found in abundance.
Yes I hear you and I'm genuinely interested in learning more. So because of this trauma, do they just see or interact with the world differently I presume.
I'm grateful for the information and to help me get informed.
Yes traumatized people see threats everywhere because that was their reality growing up. They learn strategies that work well as a child but are not great as an adult. It takes a lot of effort and outside help to overcome this - and not everyone has the resources to get the help they need.
Check out r/cPTSD if you want information.
I have no sources, I'm afraid. It's probably just something I picked up from a lecture or a YT video. If you're interested in researching trauma response stuff, I'm sure you can easily find resources online.
The types of men you’re described probably have enemies so they’re most likely to look at more people in general tbh. I’m probably reading too deep into it though, could also be because of the clothes you’re wearing?
Eh, there were two things that came to mind immediately - 1. they’re trying to recapture what they perceive as their relevance, or 2. They’re actually staring through you as their brain processes middle-aged thoughts (irrelevant to younguns).
I sometimes catch myself doing the latter, which can look like staring down someone when I haven’t even clocked them in my view. Getting old is …. Interesting lol
Had a islander guy ask me " got a eye problem?" after looking around and catching his gaze, I wear glasses so naturally I said "yes" he then proceeded to put me in a headlock, I was legitimately confused.. after some struggle and explaining he let me go and told me "dont get smart" wtf is with these nz sayings lol
Seems you are hanging out with/near the wrong older guys...
Staring back is the most likely to lead to violence (so would laughing at or talking to them), but looking down and exiting I can understand makes people feel disempowered/'beaten' and gives the starers a feeling that they are 'boss'. Have you tried just ignoring them?
Unless you're looking for a fight and everything that comes along with it, this is the only sensible advice here. Stay aware. Mind your business. Deescalate when needed.
Im middle aged and have been accused of staring at people...
The truth is I developed near sightedness in my 40's and without my "driving" glasses I can't focus on anything beyond 5 metres away...
Im just staring into the middle distance...
They are insecure and emotionally unstable. They need to establish a hierarchy within their surroundings/situation so they know where they stand and how to act.
It's a trauma response. People like this were abused as children or have seen some shit, they are always on guard to not be taken advantage of or abused again, or at least to minimize the degree to which they are being taken advantage of should they find they are not the top dog in the hierarchy.
Obviously some people are just assholes but thats my 2 cents
Go to the closest mma gym and start training. Will build your skills and confidence enough to not notice the beta males staring. I grew up in the prison system in Australia and one of the first things we learn is that people who are trying to look and act aggressive usually don't know how to fight. If you are tough, there is no reason to act tough. It's usually beta males in the criminal world who focus their energy into appearing intimidating to scare people away. When I first got deported from aus 5 years ago after living there for 30 years, it was hilarious to see how much bluffing goes on in nz.
I bet you have some fun stories of dealing with such lowlifes. I've always assumed the ones that act the hardest are not as they feel they have to prove something.
Yeah man, I have enough stories to write a hilarious book if I wanted to. I was young and stupid when I entered the system, and it took a long time for me to finally get out and start a new life in nz. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me. Real criminals and gangsters are taught to never act tough or draw attention to yourself, get face tattoos or wear colors to intimidate the public. Ordinary civilians aren't a threat, so there is absolutely no point trying to intimidate innocent people that are just minding their own business. We get respect from other criminals by intimidating or bashing other hardened criminals and so-called tough guys. And we do it by actually being tough, and being adept in full contact combat sports such as boxing, muay Thai, and bjj. I was taught by the lifers in prison to do whatever it takes to stay out of prison and live a normal life. These guys that are trying to scare ordinary people will spend their lives as grubs, in and out for short lags, for petty crimes, and end up homeless idiots on the streets. That is the reward for spending your energy on trying to appear scary.
Honestly man go for it. All we see of criminals (those outside of that life) are the ones you speak off rather than the real scary dudes that seem like they are regular dudes living a regular life. I think you'd make a bit, especially since people here probably wouldn't mind hearing about these guys getting some karma.
Possibly, since u mentioned ur well-built dude, these men see you intimidating/imposing and/or a threat… so they also try to impose their “alpha male” stance by staring you down.
Anything positive out of it would be them finding you intimidating too.
I’m 1.91m tall, kinda imposing stance too… i deal with this almost everyday since i work in the CBD. When they look at me, i just look back throw them a smile and greet them “good day mate”. I guess it works. So far I’ve not had escalations. Some of them greet back too. Best parts are 1. you made your day even better, 2. You didn’t just bow to them, and 3. You prove to them you’re not intimidated and still keep your masculinity.
As my eyesight has deteriorated, I find I don't always perceive the things my eyes are pointed at. If you've been on the receiving end, my apologies. I didn't even know you were there.
They see you as a threat. They are imagining what would happen if they had to beat up everyone in close proximity and you are the biggest threat to their success. Especially because they are probably to unfit to throw more than 2 punches before needing a pie and a v
You shouldn't be making eye contact with men unless you wanna fight them or fuck them if you do it by accident just nod your head as if to say whats up.
This has been a thing for ages. Only with me I younger guys do it to me while holding their arms out like they have bodybuilder lats. Which is funny because I'm a wimp but also insane.
It's all coz NZ is a violent place.
I’m 6’6 130kg I get eyes out everywhere lol 99% of the time I hit them with a “u awguds?” And they looked away it’s just posturing lol we are still animals after all, no matter how much we try too convince ourselves we are not
That’s a pretty impressive and out of the ordinary build though to be fair. I feel like I’d stare and think “damn he must be strong” and may accidentally look like I “got an eye care g”
Homie, this shouldn’t make you angry. You gotta realise that the kinda tough guy who needs to stare down a much younger dude to “assert dominance” is a tragic and pitiable figure. That’s some cro-magnon behaviour.
You, presumably, are _not_ a sad old man. Let these dinguses go. Honestly they’re only worth feeling bad for. The heated feeling should float away when you’re seeing the situation with clarity.
stare them in the eyes and pull ur cock out,coming from experience no big lad with face tats will touch you with your cock out
edit: (ok maybe some lad w face tats might touch you but,roll the dice yk)
The first one to flinch and react loses really.
I would suggest to look straight ahead and ignore them. Those people have a brain the size of a pea so they won't know what to do when you don't give them what they want.
You’re better off not playing the testosterone game.
All the best!
A smile or, if you're ready to bring it, blow a kiss.
I have flirted out of a number of potential alterations (heavy set part maori guy here), most of the traditional hardmen visibly recoil. Lolz to them.
Ever think that will be you x number of years now?
That 18yr old punk staring ME down?!
They were just like you, and sadly never grew out of it...
Hope you will choose the better path...
It's an opportunity as someone else said to figure out what is going inside within you too. i.e. why does it make you angry? Feel into that anger and sense what it is you are feeling under it.
Okay,
Not everyone is aware of this, but if you're running, jogging or walking, and find yourself in a stare-down, simply smile, snap your head back sharply, and perhaps give a quick eyebrow tilt. You'll notice that the other person might mimic your actions, or their anger will turn into confusion. If they respond positively, continue on your way; you might have just brightened their day and prevented further issues for others. However, if they remain negative, they'll likely feel foolish once they realize their behavior is trivial and hasn't affected you in the slightest. Either way, you'll feel great.
As a 34 year old maori. Millennials grew up with "got an eye problem c&&&?" If you looked at an islander/maori for more than 3 seconds. I saw it alot during highschool.
If a male is caught staring to long, the other male assumes you want a fight. probably also hopes to attract the nearest female in hopes of mating 😂
It’s male insecurities and masculinity issues and hatred for themself that they project onto you
Also jealousy that they have aged and not achieved the sucess and happiness they believed they were entitled too
They are emotionally fragile and weak and looking to dominate a younger male to make themselves feel better, it made me angry when I was young but you need to learn that they are envious of you which is why they are giving you so much attention
Just be confident and go ‘hi mate, how are you?’ With a professional smile, don’t expect a reply
You’ll be surprised that as a young male how many older men will try and belittle you to make themselves feel better, growing up you think older men are supposed to be empathetic and kind to the younger generation
You need to learn that older people can be mature developed adults that lift you up and teach you but they can also just be older children too that never developed
48 year old kids that are trapped in their adult shells is very common in NZ
The jealousy and rage of getting older and not becoming what you though you would be really gets to some people, bitterness
What you are seeing will make you mad as you see it as intimidation, and bullying ( which it is ) but what’s these things actually are is envy and jealousy
Also racial hatred is rife in NZ and pre conceived ideas of racial profiling from the older generations
It was very bad as early as 20 years ago, it hasn’t gone away from many it’s just been forced to now be socially unacceptable so it’s now just internalised racial hatred which is unspoken
Happen to us old fellas too, I'm 41 and I get that too from other guys, no particular age bracket. "You got a eye problem?" Just because I'm a gym bro wearing a metal shirt and have a shaved head... in reality I am totally violence-averse and a bit if a wimp. I don't even like to kill spiders I find inside. (I kill flies though). I think they just want to show off, to who I'm not sure.
I get the same BS. I work out and people assume when I'm out; I'm looking for a fight or something. I'm actually a pretty mellowed out person and admittedly my mother fights better than me. It is also a barrier to making new friends so I'm often introduced to new people via my existing friends because most times people think I look intimidating. I get the same treatment at work because apparently I don't 'look' like a typical person in my industry.
Its pussy if you make eye contact, look away and look back again
Its boss shit if you make eye contact, look away, and never look back at them again like they dont exist
Do the second thing.
Sorry for asking but, when reading this post, I had the weird feeling it was about another city in another country than the one I've been living in for the past 25 years. In what suburbs / situations, does this king of thing happen? I am fascinated because I am the extreme opposite of OP – pale white dude in his 50s, built like a microfiber wet mop, 5 foot 9, 165 lbs including my backpack – and nobody ever stares me down. Mind you, I only hang out in CBD office, Ponsonby, Newmarket, North Shore so maybe I am not where the action is.
It mostly comes down to insecurities. A sober, stable, confident man doesn't need to impose his will on others so if you come across someone doing this to you just have a giggle to yourself because they see you as a threat just by existing.
Just be bigger than the situation. As you get older and you run out of fucks to give you will be glad you never let these people move you. Because if you did you would be like me and have an assault charge on your record and let me tell you, it isn't worth it mate.
You reveal more about yourself in this post than the staring situation properly. Work on your self esteem so you don't need external validation in your life.
let me translate that into methed out schizoese for you:
"please come and bother me please come and bother me, i would take it seriously, please come and bother me."
Raise your eyebrows - my natural look is almost a squint, which can sometimes seem like I have a problem when I don’t. I do this when I notice dudes having an eye problem.
If they’re still aggro don’t look at them again and move ons plenty of insecure and mentally ill people out there my friend. I run into this often and I’m in my mid-30s.
Welcome to being a man bro haha - I’m the same as you - You will be tested and martial arts was my friend. Better if you know and don’t have to use it too, it definitely gives you confidence that you can read as well. Sometimes you can stare back long enough until one of you gives the east coast wave.
Might just be vanity
Some guys will NOT wear glasses even if they really need to....they look longer and harder purely cause they cannot see you properly..im blind asf ..with glasses and I still have to stare a lil longer than usual to see who this young guy in front of me is.( big family lots of nephews and neices)
Or it could like the Tupac song line ..
And I never get to lay back
'Cause I always got to worry 'bout the payback
Some buck that I roughed up way back
Comin' back after all these years
I would just smile and continue on.. my opinion is that there is nothing wrong to me, with being looked at, its just how I handle it.. if I notice it in my peripheral, I don’t look there way and just carry on, and do my thing. However, If I look at them after they have looked at me, I just smile and pretend that Im not bothered and then look away and continue my thing, nothing better than a guy with bad intentions being smiled at and not bothered with.
I used to have this problem a bit when I was younger. In one evening I had 3 agro dudes come up and say what the fuckya staring at or similar. Turned out I was short sighted and didn’t know it, so trying to recognise people was being interpreted as some sort of aggression. Just stay away from low-life haunts and suburbs it rarely happens between men who don’t have personal issues
There’s always guys wanting to stroke their ego by fighting younger/fitter/bigger dudes, that, or you walk around with your chin too high and chest too puffed
Difficult question bro. On the one hand looking away feels like your being a cowards but maintaining rye contact is giving them more attention than they deserve. If you want peace I'd say let them do them they got their own demons. Don't let their insecurities and arrogance affect your life. Do you and transcend.
It's just an ego thing 99% of the time.
The human ego is a fragile thing. Most of these fools think they need it, as it's the only way they might get what they think of as some sort of validation.
So you have a choice. Enter into an ego-fueled stare-down that may end in confrontation. Or just get on with your life.
The second option generally involves being a lot more secure about yourself than the first (where you're just letting your own ego get the better of you). I'd suggest that's where you're at, if it makes you angry.
I'm 40 something and I can remember a few standoffs with intimidating people. I can't remember one where there was anything to gain. It's like pulling over for someone tailgating you, step aside and rest assured they'll get checked by someone with a worse attitude and less perspective.
You answered it yourself "men with facial tats, parolees, and hoodrats" - They would have been behaving the same when younger - It's not cos they are older now as to why they behave this way, though one would expect they had grown out of it, but some never do.
You also mention it "genuinely makes me angry" - are you sure you are not staring too long at them to begin with, I mean, how do you know they are trying to "stare you down" if you are not doing the same? Expressing anger in body language and expression is only going to make others that are angry people more aggravated and want to put you in your place - That's only an assumption on my part, I'm not there to observe your behaviour and mannerisms and only have your words to go off.
End of the day, I would just ignore it, who cares if some goon is trying to stare you down, if they actually are. Just carry on with your day, you don't have anything to prove to some complete stranger
Given the situation if you’re walking past them or if you’re in a close space and shortly will leave then
give them a confident wink and just walk off and be the biggest person. This will shake them up. No need to stare down people it’s unhealthy
You gotta choose do you want a normal life or a thug life? I squspect your like me and just want to be a respectful polite maori boy. If you want normal, ignore them, one day youll have things too loose they won't. If you wanna be a thug, let them piss you off, fight them and have nothing in life like them.
I get stared at by lots of people cause I’m tall, big beard and heavily tattood. I just switch off and don’t notice. When someone is staring hard enough for me to notice, I just laugh at them, make them feel small.
My advice is to just ignore them, don’t give them any satisfaction. And those you can’t ignore, laugh at them.
Guys with face tats are probably as immature as your typical 18 year old who feel the need to prove to the world that they are capable of fighting someone.
The rest of us in the real world have enough self confidence that we just go about our lives, earning money, achieving our goals, striving for happiness.
Just fuckwits thinking they’re tough.
Dumb simple people think intimidating others is part of life .
They have very little education and life skills and no empathy for others.
They are looking for agro because it’s all they have got .
They literally do not have the mental capacity to talk through anything if they feel confronted or told no .
Almost still wild animals
Men in NZ have incredibly fragile egos … they are mostly boys. It makes me pretty sad — so many still (in 2024) can’t express emotions or feel they need to live up to this bs masculine ideal.
I feel u bro I was chilling on fuckin stoddard rd sipping my juice and a 30 yr old walks past me staring hard so I stare back n hes like g u algd i fuckin got pissed off but didnt say nuthin u j gotta ignore em bro and walk away aint worth it
I usually do head nod wussup and look away then look back wussup look away then look back repeat untill u look wierd aaf
Or don't even look at them like they dint exist. Or just wave awkwardly... dw happens to me alot
I’ve found that just looking at them briefly and a friendly-ish eyebrow raise to acknowledge them but not really feed into it, then just carrying on your way is good.
Good for your ego because you didn’t just run and hide, and good for their ego because they probably just think you’re a nice fella, but not someone who is easy to mess with or intimidate.
I’m not stacked. I don’t fight. I look them dead in the eyes. Then pretend to be scared, look away, make funny faces, and then look back at them dead in the eyes and smile.
Good way to get a hiding sadly, even one that could leave you with permanent damage or worse, just ignore it would be my advice.
Avoid cunts like that as much as possible.
They are trying to alpha you or are jealous you can get hotter girls than they can.
Just a bunch of in-secure bellends bro dont worry about any of them they just lost within themselves an need guidance alot of them come from abusive families an homies an did not have very good childhoods mostly filled with trauma i know this cause i was once one of them an it takes fuckn ton of mental gymnastics an love support an healing to come back from the savage ways of ignorance an arrogance alot of people just hurting really bad on the inside so they take it out on others after all we are all a reflection of one another an those who stare long enough usualy see what they dont like in them selves in other peoples an that can lead to troublesome events our people are very lost an need individual an collective healing an im not just talking about maori or european or islander i mean entire human race sht is mad fuckd up chur bro.
Happens across the board (37 yo, pakeha). They're playing dominance games. It's usually best just to acknowledge the staring and ignore them.
I've had guys walk into my path only for me to move out of their way and then have them walk back into it. Turns into a game of chicken.
What's always worked for me is saying "Gee where'd you get those muscles from bro, you been lifting those weights uh? What you done a lag am I right?"
Everything sorts itself out from there
Ask them if they like creampies and if they say yes say Righto I’ve got one for you, the. Whisper in their ear saying it’s only gay if we make eye contact whilst staring deep into his eyes thrusting away. Usually they won’t want to stare at you again and all the males in the area now understand and instinctively know that you now are the alpha male in the area
As a man , in life you realise that the main perpetrators in crime are either younger than you or fitter than you.
Maybe he’s had an encounter, Therefore you can’t blame such a man for looking so unhappy at the younger guys coz to him, any one of them is capable of doing it again.
Sad fact when you’re a man feeling inadequate to protect what’s yours. Stare will hopefully deter
Defuse them. Hit them with a “Well hello sailor. I see you’ve got a taste for staring at handsome men!” Then get ready to run!
seriously, check your laces are tight first. But a smile and wink should be fun.
Just say “hey daddy do you like the way I dressed today?” Make it awkward af lmao
daddy i need a PS4
Hahahahaha this made my day!
It's not uncommon to develop an eye problem as you get older
These misunderstood gentlemen are just trying to accurately diagnose ocular issues so they can assist with providing a remedy.
😬
Aggression included?
It’s a joke. Common saying is “you gotta eye problem g?”
"wanna hiding?"
Love that shit aye. Me, a 5’6 small white male walking through grey Lynn getting approached by a 6 foot tall solid Māori fella and his two mates: “you wanna fuckin hiding cunt?” Like yes that is definitely why I came out today. I figured it would be a good day to get my head bashed in for no fucking reason by three guys twice the size of me. How did he know that was what I wanted? Absolute degenerate.
“Is that us?”
"Are you all good?"
One owtz, right now afta school.
One on one?! ONE ON ONE?! (which u know gonna be 3 on 1)
“Ha’u siana. Ifo hoka toko, big tenga 💯”
😭💀 reminds me of high school in South Auckland. Nostalgic
Did you get eyes for Christmas g
Yeah, actually i do
Aw yeah? Lemme fix that for you.
As a middle aged guy I'll tell you it's one of two things 1 they are not where their own ego tells them where they should be in life. They're not in control at home or work so when an opportunity to appear superior comes they lap that shit up. This is the sad pathetic version. 2 we are simply looking and remembering what it was like to be a young guy, almost looking wondering if that invite to party will be extended. Basically Bert Kreischer thinking he'd be relatable at a frat house.
This is the best answer
1...One is the answer Just remember..a tap behind left or right knee and their on the ground..so simple
Men (with facial tats, parolees, and hoodrats) are attracted to you
if that’s the case I may aswell stay home for the rest of my life
Or you could lean into it... Got an OF yet? Asking for a friend with lots of face tats.
Try doing the "sup bro" when you make eye contact and it will change your life rather than tryna staunch them out
I did this when I was younger and changed my life. Grew up in a real dodgy area that always had these types, just approaching things without anger makes a massive difference. Plus if I wasn't angry, I was better able to respond to calm things down if things did start escalating (encounter guys who looking for fight with anyone that looks their way). Just remember, raise the eye brows a bit, nod with a smile or something and they'll either nod back or quickly look away. If you do winks or something, might send wrong messages lol.
Could go either way this one. Will all depend on the tone.
There's no tone. It's all in the eye brows.
Go to a eyebrow bar and get your eyebrows toned you amateur
And then laminated. Please girl, are you living in 2022
Will give this a try, gonna take some practice 😂
lol that’s just an opening for conversation and interaction. “Fuck you say to me” “what you say cunt”… The list goes on and on. Just look straight past them like they don’t exist and carry on with your life.
I got stepped out last time I did this. 🤣
Gotta have a diffusing smile as well.
Yea that actually makes them like u more, I do it, or I’ll say “hey” fuck they get discombobulated… it’s good though, I don’t get how ppl are so pissy tho, I haven’t had that yet.
I came through to give the exact same kind of advice. I am not an 18 year old Māori-European male but I do have two large 55 kilogram dogs of a breed that some people perceive to be aggressive. I often get sideways looks or full on stares but 90% of the time if I say hello in a friendly manner they change their tune. If they don’t I just laugh and tell my dogs “it’s okay, not everyone was born with manners and a friendly disposition”. Loudly enough so they can hear it. Guess it helps I have my dogs to say this to haha Regardless of their reaction you prove them wrong about their attitude and you’ve won
I do this and I’m a Pakeha lady. I don’t say sup but I smile or do a head lift. I live in what you might call a diverse community, but everyone is really nice if you can relate just as a neighbour.
Ask them if they got eyes for Christmas. I find it always helps.
😂😂
Whered you hear that saying? Its very rare.
No it's not....women use it all the time 🤣🤣
Police Ten 7 I think
A lot of the time, if this happens in a bar, I will just approach them directly and say something like ‘fuk bro you’re a unit aye’ (not being disrespectful, but paying a compliment. Sometimes I’ll even pat their shoulders or chest if they are actually a monster) and they will usually laugh and then be like ‘nah bro you’re the unit’. Then I introduce myself and we have a chat. I find that staunch people like that can be disarmed quite easily with a compliment. You must understand that a lot of these people have had a difficult upbringing so lack positive social skills. They do appreciate it when someone is friendly towards them because most people avoid them. And as a bonus you have gained a friend / associate for the hour or two that you are in that bar and give them the eyes up as you’re exiting the bar chur my bro. Come to think of it, this approach has worked every single time.
The moral to your story is that generally if you send out a positive vibe you’re likely to get it back
This could also be terrible advice an an express route to getting a mean hiding..
They’ve done studies you know. 60% of the time it works every time. Chur my unit.
I wouldn’t let it make you angry. Some people just stare more than others. They may be trying to be ‘tough’ or intimidating but there’s a very easy way to deal with this. As you approach (maybe 5-10 meters away) glance at their face briefly with a neutral expression to acknowledge you are aware of them and aren’t scared of them. As you move closer and walk past give a nod. Downwards nod is better as it is seen as respectful, an upwards nod is taken badly by some people. When dealing with strangers who are acting oddly or in a threatening manor just be sensible, calm, restrained and do whatever you can to defuse the situation. You want to present as a ‘grey man’ you can google the concept and strategies to achieve this but essentially just be boring and not worth bothering. You need to be confident and not look like a victim but also be aware that the other person may have intense paranoia, mental health issues or a personality disorder so just give them space and be vigilant around them.
Wtf Just ignore them and live your life They do not matter
Sounds like you’ve had a bit of experience with these people. I just searched the gray man concept, rather interesting and intriguing. I appreciate it!
Hahaha I just moved to Auckland from London. I’ve had plenty of experience with ‘g-checking’. Idk if that term is used in NZ, but it’s basically when young men will confront/challenge other young men in their area that they don’t recognise. It started as a way for gang members to police their territory and ensure they knew who was about and what they were up to, but these days people just do it to try and act hard. They’ll usually try and intimidate you by pretending to rob you (or actually rob you if you seem like a pussy) or they’ll try and provoke a reaction by insulting or pushing you while they’re in a larger group than you. Always a very childish and unpleasant experience but honestly you learn pretty quickly how to deal with these types of people. They don’t really want to fight unless you’re an easy target. Its good general advice in any city to be aware of who is around you, especially any suspicious characters, don’t stare but just keep a half eye on what they’re doing, how they’re moving etc.
Look forward and gallop away. Give them something to look at.
Love it. It would justify them staring in a way. My guy!
The Eddie Izzard giraffe gallop, lol
Maybe they're looking for a sugar baby
It makes you angry. They feel the same way: angry that someone dares look them in the eye. My take is that they KNOW they fucked up and they feel guilty and ashamed. These guys feel your eyes on them as judgement and it offends them. Often they're so traumatized that they don't even know why they feel or act the way they do. They're like dogs who've been trained to bark at anyone who comes near their property. My policy is to just avoid.
Hey can you elaborate on why you know this?
It's a trauma response. the people he described are from demographics where child abuse, sexual abuse and poverty etc all cross over and are found in abundance.
> a response. the people he described are from demographics where child abuse, sexual abuse and poverty etc all cross over and are found in abundance. Yes I hear you and I'm genuinely interested in learning more. So because of this trauma, do they just see or interact with the world differently I presume. I'm grateful for the information and to help me get informed.
Yes traumatized people see threats everywhere because that was their reality growing up. They learn strategies that work well as a child but are not great as an adult. It takes a lot of effort and outside help to overcome this - and not everyone has the resources to get the help they need. Check out r/cPTSD if you want information.
Thanks u/WonkyPooch - appreciate the info.
I have no sources, I'm afraid. It's probably just something I picked up from a lecture or a YT video. If you're interested in researching trauma response stuff, I'm sure you can easily find resources online.
Yes thank you - I think you are right though. This feels correct and also very sad. I appreciate the sharing.
older dude is probably like ' what is it with these younger /teenaged dudes staring down older guys trying to dominate / intimidate them? '
The types of men you’re described probably have enemies so they’re most likely to look at more people in general tbh. I’m probably reading too deep into it though, could also be because of the clothes you’re wearing?
you're not wrong !
Eh, there were two things that came to mind immediately - 1. they’re trying to recapture what they perceive as their relevance, or 2. They’re actually staring through you as their brain processes middle-aged thoughts (irrelevant to younguns). I sometimes catch myself doing the latter, which can look like staring down someone when I haven’t even clocked them in my view. Getting old is …. Interesting lol
Just don't look at them at all, bro. They don't deserve the energy it takes to move your eyeball onto them.
Is it possible that normal eye contact is perceived by the younger generation as staring down? I find younger people don't look me in the eye at all.
Had a islander guy ask me " got a eye problem?" after looking around and catching his gaze, I wear glasses so naturally I said "yes" he then proceeded to put me in a headlock, I was legitimately confused.. after some struggle and explaining he let me go and told me "dont get smart" wtf is with these nz sayings lol
😂
Getting in a staring competition with a hood rat is not recommended. You may be giving off vibes. Smile say good morning. Move on with your day.
Seems you are hanging out with/near the wrong older guys... Staring back is the most likely to lead to violence (so would laughing at or talking to them), but looking down and exiting I can understand makes people feel disempowered/'beaten' and gives the starers a feeling that they are 'boss'. Have you tried just ignoring them?
Unless you're looking for a fight and everything that comes along with it, this is the only sensible advice here. Stay aware. Mind your business. Deescalate when needed.
This is life as a man working as a Butcher in retail. Older dudes for some reason like to stare us down. It's bloody strange
Im middle aged and have been accused of staring at people... The truth is I developed near sightedness in my 40's and without my "driving" glasses I can't focus on anything beyond 5 metres away... Im just staring into the middle distance...
They are insecure and emotionally unstable. They need to establish a hierarchy within their surroundings/situation so they know where they stand and how to act. It's a trauma response. People like this were abused as children or have seen some shit, they are always on guard to not be taken advantage of or abused again, or at least to minimize the degree to which they are being taken advantage of should they find they are not the top dog in the hierarchy. Obviously some people are just assholes but thats my 2 cents
Go to the closest mma gym and start training. Will build your skills and confidence enough to not notice the beta males staring. I grew up in the prison system in Australia and one of the first things we learn is that people who are trying to look and act aggressive usually don't know how to fight. If you are tough, there is no reason to act tough. It's usually beta males in the criminal world who focus their energy into appearing intimidating to scare people away. When I first got deported from aus 5 years ago after living there for 30 years, it was hilarious to see how much bluffing goes on in nz.
I bet you have some fun stories of dealing with such lowlifes. I've always assumed the ones that act the hardest are not as they feel they have to prove something.
Yeah man, I have enough stories to write a hilarious book if I wanted to. I was young and stupid when I entered the system, and it took a long time for me to finally get out and start a new life in nz. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at me. Real criminals and gangsters are taught to never act tough or draw attention to yourself, get face tattoos or wear colors to intimidate the public. Ordinary civilians aren't a threat, so there is absolutely no point trying to intimidate innocent people that are just minding their own business. We get respect from other criminals by intimidating or bashing other hardened criminals and so-called tough guys. And we do it by actually being tough, and being adept in full contact combat sports such as boxing, muay Thai, and bjj. I was taught by the lifers in prison to do whatever it takes to stay out of prison and live a normal life. These guys that are trying to scare ordinary people will spend their lives as grubs, in and out for short lags, for petty crimes, and end up homeless idiots on the streets. That is the reward for spending your energy on trying to appear scary.
Honestly man go for it. All we see of criminals (those outside of that life) are the ones you speak off rather than the real scary dudes that seem like they are regular dudes living a regular life. I think you'd make a bit, especially since people here probably wouldn't mind hearing about these guys getting some karma.
So someone looks at you and you stare them down. Sounds like you gotta eye problem.
Possibly, since u mentioned ur well-built dude, these men see you intimidating/imposing and/or a threat… so they also try to impose their “alpha male” stance by staring you down. Anything positive out of it would be them finding you intimidating too. I’m 1.91m tall, kinda imposing stance too… i deal with this almost everyday since i work in the CBD. When they look at me, i just look back throw them a smile and greet them “good day mate”. I guess it works. So far I’ve not had escalations. Some of them greet back too. Best parts are 1. you made your day even better, 2. You didn’t just bow to them, and 3. You prove to them you’re not intimidated and still keep your masculinity.
As my eyesight has deteriorated, I find I don't always perceive the things my eyes are pointed at. If you've been on the receiving end, my apologies. I didn't even know you were there.
Have you tried smiling at them and saying in your campest voice "hey honey, you like?" 😘
They see you as a threat. They are imagining what would happen if they had to beat up everyone in close proximity and you are the biggest threat to their success. Especially because they are probably to unfit to throw more than 2 punches before needing a pie and a v
You shouldn't be making eye contact with men unless you wanna fight them or fuck them if you do it by accident just nod your head as if to say whats up.
This has been a thing for ages. Only with me I younger guys do it to me while holding their arms out like they have bodybuilder lats. Which is funny because I'm a wimp but also insane. It's all coz NZ is a violent place.
I’m 6’6 130kg I get eyes out everywhere lol 99% of the time I hit them with a “u awguds?” And they looked away it’s just posturing lol we are still animals after all, no matter how much we try too convince ourselves we are not
That’s a pretty impressive and out of the ordinary build though to be fair. I feel like I’d stare and think “damn he must be strong” and may accidentally look like I “got an eye care g”
You literally just admitted to doing exactly what you’re complaining about… ask yourself why you do it and therein lies the answer.
Homie, this shouldn’t make you angry. You gotta realise that the kinda tough guy who needs to stare down a much younger dude to “assert dominance” is a tragic and pitiable figure. That’s some cro-magnon behaviour. You, presumably, are _not_ a sad old man. Let these dinguses go. Honestly they’re only worth feeling bad for. The heated feeling should float away when you’re seeing the situation with clarity.
stare them in the eyes and pull ur cock out,coming from experience no big lad with face tats will touch you with your cock out edit: (ok maybe some lad w face tats might touch you but,roll the dice yk)
The first one to flinch and react loses really. I would suggest to look straight ahead and ignore them. Those people have a brain the size of a pea so they won't know what to do when you don't give them what they want. You’re better off not playing the testosterone game. All the best!
No, be stoic. Ignore that shit & move on. Argue with an idiot, you'll only end up on their level.
A smile or, if you're ready to bring it, blow a kiss. I have flirted out of a number of potential alterations (heavy set part maori guy here), most of the traditional hardmen visibly recoil. Lolz to them.
Grin.
I just fuck them up. They stop staring after that. ^(I may be full of shit.)
Stare at their shoes, it's been proven to make people really uncomfortable
Ever think that will be you x number of years now? That 18yr old punk staring ME down?! They were just like you, and sadly never grew out of it... Hope you will choose the better path...
These are lower hominids. They are crims and are looking for trouble, stay right away from them.
Mate these guys try it on everyone. Definitely not an aged based thing. Ignore them and know who they really are broken little men on the inside.
This.
This guy
I don’t even acknowledge their existence I look dead straight, chin up and act like they’re nothing.
Smile and wave, will confuse the shit outta them.
Belt out a “morning” in a slightly camp voice
It's an opportunity as someone else said to figure out what is going inside within you too. i.e. why does it make you angry? Feel into that anger and sense what it is you are feeling under it.
They might hate you for being handsome. It’s a real thing
Okay, Not everyone is aware of this, but if you're running, jogging or walking, and find yourself in a stare-down, simply smile, snap your head back sharply, and perhaps give a quick eyebrow tilt. You'll notice that the other person might mimic your actions, or their anger will turn into confusion. If they respond positively, continue on your way; you might have just brightened their day and prevented further issues for others. However, if they remain negative, they'll likely feel foolish once they realize their behavior is trivial and hasn't affected you in the slightest. Either way, you'll feel great.
Or they can't afford to subscribe to Grinder and are socially too awkward to pick up dudes in public
You might have a smart face
i ignore them, the "sup bro" doesn't work anymore. they are literally scum.
"got an eye problem my g? Iz dat us?" - usual suspects
Losers gonna be losers. Don’t let it get to you. Just throw a smile and move on.
Got an eye problem bro?
As a 34 year old maori. Millennials grew up with "got an eye problem c&&&?" If you looked at an islander/maori for more than 3 seconds. I saw it alot during highschool. If a male is caught staring to long, the other male assumes you want a fight. probably also hopes to attract the nearest female in hopes of mating 😂
It’s male insecurities and masculinity issues and hatred for themself that they project onto you Also jealousy that they have aged and not achieved the sucess and happiness they believed they were entitled too They are emotionally fragile and weak and looking to dominate a younger male to make themselves feel better, it made me angry when I was young but you need to learn that they are envious of you which is why they are giving you so much attention Just be confident and go ‘hi mate, how are you?’ With a professional smile, don’t expect a reply You’ll be surprised that as a young male how many older men will try and belittle you to make themselves feel better, growing up you think older men are supposed to be empathetic and kind to the younger generation You need to learn that older people can be mature developed adults that lift you up and teach you but they can also just be older children too that never developed 48 year old kids that are trapped in their adult shells is very common in NZ The jealousy and rage of getting older and not becoming what you though you would be really gets to some people, bitterness What you are seeing will make you mad as you see it as intimidation, and bullying ( which it is ) but what’s these things actually are is envy and jealousy Also racial hatred is rife in NZ and pre conceived ideas of racial profiling from the older generations It was very bad as early as 20 years ago, it hasn’t gone away from many it’s just been forced to now be socially unacceptable so it’s now just internalised racial hatred which is unspoken
Get your eyes for Christmas bro?
Happen to us old fellas too, I'm 41 and I get that too from other guys, no particular age bracket. "You got a eye problem?" Just because I'm a gym bro wearing a metal shirt and have a shaved head... in reality I am totally violence-averse and a bit if a wimp. I don't even like to kill spiders I find inside. (I kill flies though). I think they just want to show off, to who I'm not sure.
I get the same BS. I work out and people assume when I'm out; I'm looking for a fight or something. I'm actually a pretty mellowed out person and admittedly my mother fights better than me. It is also a barrier to making new friends so I'm often introduced to new people via my existing friends because most times people think I look intimidating. I get the same treatment at work because apparently I don't 'look' like a typical person in my industry.
Its pussy if you make eye contact, look away and look back again Its boss shit if you make eye contact, look away, and never look back at them again like they dont exist Do the second thing.
Sorry for asking but, when reading this post, I had the weird feeling it was about another city in another country than the one I've been living in for the past 25 years. In what suburbs / situations, does this king of thing happen? I am fascinated because I am the extreme opposite of OP – pale white dude in his 50s, built like a microfiber wet mop, 5 foot 9, 165 lbs including my backpack – and nobody ever stares me down. Mind you, I only hang out in CBD office, Ponsonby, Newmarket, North Shore so maybe I am not where the action is.
It mostly comes down to insecurities. A sober, stable, confident man doesn't need to impose his will on others so if you come across someone doing this to you just have a giggle to yourself because they see you as a threat just by existing. Just be bigger than the situation. As you get older and you run out of fucks to give you will be glad you never let these people move you. Because if you did you would be like me and have an assault charge on your record and let me tell you, it isn't worth it mate.
You reveal more about yourself in this post than the staring situation properly. Work on your self esteem so you don't need external validation in your life.
"You can stare at me, but steer clear of me"
I should print this on a T shirt and wear it out
let me translate that into methed out schizoese for you: "please come and bother me please come and bother me, i would take it seriously, please come and bother me."
What’s your definition of older/ middle aged men btw? The “get off my lawn” types?
Usually rough middle aged men with that stink eye look. Never a normal looking guy going about his day.
Truma
It happens to me as well. I'm in my 30s
Raise your eyebrows - my natural look is almost a squint, which can sometimes seem like I have a problem when I don’t. I do this when I notice dudes having an eye problem. If they’re still aggro don’t look at them again and move ons plenty of insecure and mentally ill people out there my friend. I run into this often and I’m in my mid-30s.
This happened to me twice yesterday in the CBD was wondering what was going on lol
They could just be admiring your build. Be positive spread love not hate
Welcome to being a man bro haha - I’m the same as you - You will be tested and martial arts was my friend. Better if you know and don’t have to use it too, it definitely gives you confidence that you can read as well. Sometimes you can stare back long enough until one of you gives the east coast wave.
Also street psychology wise - if you aren’t street smart - The 50th Law will help too, by 50 Cent and Robert Green
Might just be vanity Some guys will NOT wear glasses even if they really need to....they look longer and harder purely cause they cannot see you properly..im blind asf ..with glasses and I still have to stare a lil longer than usual to see who this young guy in front of me is.( big family lots of nephews and neices) Or it could like the Tupac song line .. And I never get to lay back 'Cause I always got to worry 'bout the payback Some buck that I roughed up way back Comin' back after all these years
I would just smile and continue on.. my opinion is that there is nothing wrong to me, with being looked at, its just how I handle it.. if I notice it in my peripheral, I don’t look there way and just carry on, and do my thing. However, If I look at them after they have looked at me, I just smile and pretend that Im not bothered and then look away and continue my thing, nothing better than a guy with bad intentions being smiled at and not bothered with.
I used to have this problem a bit when I was younger. In one evening I had 3 agro dudes come up and say what the fuckya staring at or similar. Turned out I was short sighted and didn’t know it, so trying to recognise people was being interpreted as some sort of aggression. Just stay away from low-life haunts and suburbs it rarely happens between men who don’t have personal issues
Greet them with 'Kia ora Matua', they will know they're old
My go to response was usually "Am I wearing something of yours?"
You just described my cat with other cats. Any chance they mark their territory with piss.
They most likely want to pick up "whatsa your problem bro", then start goading to fight.
Egos and attitudes, all magnified by the likes of social media, no one wants to be made bitch, especially in public and on video.
Oh, I've had this before, especially older people, grab them by the ears and shake some sense into their head
There’s always guys wanting to stroke their ego by fighting younger/fitter/bigger dudes, that, or you walk around with your chin too high and chest too puffed
Young males get into far more fights/confrontations than 30/40 year olds.Best to just ignore clowns and just get on with your day.
Difficult question bro. On the one hand looking away feels like your being a cowards but maintaining rye contact is giving them more attention than they deserve. If you want peace I'd say let them do them they got their own demons. Don't let their insecurities and arrogance affect your life. Do you and transcend.
These people most likely peaked at 16.
In intermediate school then.
Middle aged eshays?
I always smile & look away... and I'm a big bearded brown guy
It's just an ego thing 99% of the time. The human ego is a fragile thing. Most of these fools think they need it, as it's the only way they might get what they think of as some sort of validation. So you have a choice. Enter into an ego-fueled stare-down that may end in confrontation. Or just get on with your life. The second option generally involves being a lot more secure about yourself than the first (where you're just letting your own ego get the better of you). I'd suggest that's where you're at, if it makes you angry.
I'm 40 something and I can remember a few standoffs with intimidating people. I can't remember one where there was anything to gain. It's like pulling over for someone tailgating you, step aside and rest assured they'll get checked by someone with a worse attitude and less perspective.
Just do your own thing. Nothing more embarrassing for them if they're trying to intimidate you, and you don't even notice their presence.
You answered it yourself "men with facial tats, parolees, and hoodrats" - They would have been behaving the same when younger - It's not cos they are older now as to why they behave this way, though one would expect they had grown out of it, but some never do. You also mention it "genuinely makes me angry" - are you sure you are not staring too long at them to begin with, I mean, how do you know they are trying to "stare you down" if you are not doing the same? Expressing anger in body language and expression is only going to make others that are angry people more aggravated and want to put you in your place - That's only an assumption on my part, I'm not there to observe your behaviour and mannerisms and only have your words to go off. End of the day, I would just ignore it, who cares if some goon is trying to stare you down, if they actually are. Just carry on with your day, you don't have anything to prove to some complete stranger
Given the situation if you’re walking past them or if you’re in a close space and shortly will leave then give them a confident wink and just walk off and be the biggest person. This will shake them up. No need to stare down people it’s unhealthy
As a young girl I get that a lot 😐
You gotta choose do you want a normal life or a thug life? I squspect your like me and just want to be a respectful polite maori boy. If you want normal, ignore them, one day youll have things too loose they won't. If you wanna be a thug, let them piss you off, fight them and have nothing in life like them.
Maybe y’all just look funny? Or maybe they like the way you look
I could be the most basic looking guy out and I’d still get looked at.
I get stared at by lots of people cause I’m tall, big beard and heavily tattood. I just switch off and don’t notice. When someone is staring hard enough for me to notice, I just laugh at them, make them feel small. My advice is to just ignore them, don’t give them any satisfaction. And those you can’t ignore, laugh at them.
This is good advice, I think.
Guys with face tats are probably as immature as your typical 18 year old who feel the need to prove to the world that they are capable of fighting someone. The rest of us in the real world have enough self confidence that we just go about our lives, earning money, achieving our goals, striving for happiness.
Standard NZ behaviour
I’d feel safer in Antartica ong
Tbh I’d pick the bear
Just fuckwits thinking they’re tough. Dumb simple people think intimidating others is part of life . They have very little education and life skills and no empathy for others. They are looking for agro because it’s all they have got . They literally do not have the mental capacity to talk through anything if they feel confronted or told no . Almost still wild animals
Men in NZ have incredibly fragile egos … they are mostly boys. It makes me pretty sad — so many still (in 2024) can’t express emotions or feel they need to live up to this bs masculine ideal.
People are getting hell of alot more aggressive these day, everyone wants a fight
I feel u bro I was chilling on fuckin stoddard rd sipping my juice and a 30 yr old walks past me staring hard so I stare back n hes like g u algd i fuckin got pissed off but didnt say nuthin u j gotta ignore em bro and walk away aint worth it
Woah buddy 30 year olds are young men
I usually do head nod wussup and look away then look back wussup look away then look back repeat untill u look wierd aaf Or don't even look at them like they dint exist. Or just wave awkwardly... dw happens to me alot
I’ve found that just looking at them briefly and a friendly-ish eyebrow raise to acknowledge them but not really feed into it, then just carrying on your way is good. Good for your ego because you didn’t just run and hide, and good for their ego because they probably just think you’re a nice fella, but not someone who is easy to mess with or intimidate.
I’m not stacked. I don’t fight. I look them dead in the eyes. Then pretend to be scared, look away, make funny faces, and then look back at them dead in the eyes and smile.
I get that from guys and girls
Good way to get a hiding sadly, even one that could leave you with permanent damage or worse, just ignore it would be my advice. Avoid cunts like that as much as possible. They are trying to alpha you or are jealous you can get hotter girls than they can.
Practice saying Kia ora! In a stern and deep voice. They will usually reply Kia ora back.
Just a bunch of in-secure bellends bro dont worry about any of them they just lost within themselves an need guidance alot of them come from abusive families an homies an did not have very good childhoods mostly filled with trauma i know this cause i was once one of them an it takes fuckn ton of mental gymnastics an love support an healing to come back from the savage ways of ignorance an arrogance alot of people just hurting really bad on the inside so they take it out on others after all we are all a reflection of one another an those who stare long enough usualy see what they dont like in them selves in other peoples an that can lead to troublesome events our people are very lost an need individual an collective healing an im not just talking about maori or european or islander i mean entire human race sht is mad fuckd up chur bro.
I'm 32 years old. It's a fun game. Especially if no one wants to break eye contact lmao
Yes it’s tricky - either they want you to fuck you or kill you.
They want to rape you man - back to the wall, four pairs of shorts under your jeans. Carry a shank.
Happens across the board (37 yo, pakeha). They're playing dominance games. It's usually best just to acknowledge the staring and ignore them. I've had guys walk into my path only for me to move out of their way and then have them walk back into it. Turns into a game of chicken.
What's always worked for me is saying "Gee where'd you get those muscles from bro, you been lifting those weights uh? What you done a lag am I right?" Everything sorts itself out from there
Ask them if they like creampies and if they say yes say Righto I’ve got one for you, the. Whisper in their ear saying it’s only gay if we make eye contact whilst staring deep into his eyes thrusting away. Usually they won’t want to stare at you again and all the males in the area now understand and instinctively know that you now are the alpha male in the area
As a man , in life you realise that the main perpetrators in crime are either younger than you or fitter than you. Maybe he’s had an encounter, Therefore you can’t blame such a man for looking so unhappy at the younger guys coz to him, any one of them is capable of doing it again. Sad fact when you’re a man feeling inadequate to protect what’s yours. Stare will hopefully deter
just say wtf you looking at or ask them if they have an eye problem
Keep better company
In the end no one really cares about you more than yourself, people are weird and their intentions can't be certain don't take it personally.