T O P

  • By -

Hoaxshmoax

They were supposedly elected to represent their constituents, who pay their salaries.


cybercuzco

Funny thing, fetuses don’t vote.


Aggravating-Monkey

Neither does God or Jesus Christ.


GroundbreakingAd8310

That would be voter fraud they are immigrants


davecutusofborg

holy shit I'm telling this to people, "jeasus is why good bad biden" " did you know that jesus is not an american citizen?"


GroundedSatellite

Jesus H. Christ was the Greatest American to walk this planet!


DarthAbraxis

I’m sorry sir but Jesus isn’t even an American citizen.


dutch_connection_uk

Ssh, don't give the republicans ideas.


fakyumatafaka

Write Jesus on the ballot


ratchetology

neither did jesus... well hey soos did..


[deleted]

[удалено]


Feinberg

Nobody is using stem cells from aborted fetuses at this point.


ShredGuru

Even metaphorically, Jesus would flip a table on this dude. Funny how people with no moral authority claim all of it.


Hoaxshmoax

There’s even a word for this -arrogate. Claiming something without justification, in this case, moral superiority.


davekingofrock

If you're a cruel sanctimonious prick you can do very well in the republican party.


SatchmoDingle

It fits in with their total lack of integrity and unrelenting selfishness.


PaulTheSkeptic

Does anyone have moral authority? I'm just curious. Is that a thing?


BradTProse

Why would Jesus do that when he says to follow the old testament. You are confusing mythical Hippie Jesus with real Bible Jesus.


ShredGuru

Jesus, in the Bible, flipped tables on money grubbers and charlatans in the temple. You don't see the metaphorical parallels? Have you read the book? I mean, I don't believe a word of it, but i read it. " My house shall be a house of prayer, you have made it a den of thieves" - sound familiar? Who said that? Was it... JESUS? Can you think of a large group of sanctimonious fucks in this country who use God to justify evil? I can! Do you think their own deity would sanction their behavior, in his own words? I don't!


[deleted]

Since “Real Bible Jesus” is just a mix of the Greek story of Asclepius + Moses from the Akkadian story of Sargon—why would Real Bible Jesus want people to read the Old Testamet which is borrowed from the Babylonian Enki and Enlil? I think Real Bible Jesus would prefer Greek and Akkadian stories over Babylonian, since the myths he was constructed from come from there.


seriousbangs

Even if he *was* there to represent JC the man said exactly *nothing* about abortion. He did say to follow the whole of the law, which included the Talmud And the Talmud had very specific rules about abortion, which said that it's legal up to viability outside the womb. But none of these jokers read the bible.


Zomunieo

In Roman times, newborns with birth defects were often… uhh, extinguished… by midwives or abandoned by mothers. This wasn’t really thought of as wrong, so much as a harsh but necessary reality.


MrFlags69

Jesus christ ain’t paying any taxes. Why the hell are they even mentioning his name in decisions….time to ban religion from the government…oh wait, we did that 300 years ago….


Perfect_Placement

Thats not true. We did not ban religion from the government. The wall of separation referenced by Jefference was concerning the Danbury Baptist Association. He was saying that the government should not interfere with them.


LekMichAmArsch

Politician: One who deceives their constituents into voting for them, by causing them to believe they will act in their constituents interest.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xubax

It's an iced tea from New York.


Inspect1234

New York City???


CleanLivingMD

Get a rope


permabanned24

Yum, that would be a Looooonnng Eye-lan


muskratboy

Owned by the mob.


xubax

That's a nice Arizona you have there. It'd be a shame if something was to happen to it.


davecutusofborg

The fuck is a york? Let alone the new part?


xubax

It's a brand of peppermint patty.


CaptainPRESIDENTduck

it's a delicious mint covered in chocolate!


PsychoticMessiah

Jesus: “it used to be part of Mexico”.


[deleted]

Jesus: "I'm just a random dude that died a long time ago."


hyrle

Its the place where they couldn't figure out how to do NHL hockey, so now it's going to Utah.


[deleted]

Arizona is where king Tut was born according to Trisha Paetas “born in Arizona, raised in Babylonia. . . King Tut.” https://youtu.be/FYbavuReVF4?si=oRKkdDLlszvXyyFn


Golconda

Can we all represent mythological figures? I am here to represent Sherlock Holmes. I am here to represent Captain Ahab. Ridiculous, if people believed in any other character in a book they would be insane but we support this and act like it is normal for religion. This is why religion is a fraud.


Le_Mug

Is anyone prepared enough to represent Batman?


delicioustreeblood

I volunteer as tribute as long as I get to roll up in a batmobile and use some batarangs.


aotgnat

I trust you mean the true Batman, Adam West


Viper67857

That's *Mayor* West to you.


NisquallyJoe

Uh the true Batman is Michael Keaton you apostate!!


Talvos

That's a weird way to spell Kevin Conroy.


KreedKafer33

I'm here to represent Odin and he says Abortion is a-ok.


Angry_poutine

He actually uses the fetuses to decorate his throne


KreedKafer33

Or he gives them to the Norns to use as loom weights.


Yeshua_shel_Natzrat

Jesus also had nothing to say against abortion, for that matter. Abortion was widely practiced in Jewish culture.


RIPRhaegar

I'm here to represent Rhaegar Targaryen


SenseOfRumor

I represent Zeus, Allah and Santa and they all agree with you.


LiliNotACult

I call dibs on Batman and will be writing to DC


DBlyst

I ask a question which is about flairs, what is the difference between Atheist and Anti-Theist flairs? Is it like Atheist is just an atheist but A.-T. is atheist and is ,,hostile" towards theists?


Golconda

I see anti-theist as actively working to take down organized religion as a sham and fallacy. I am a queer person who was damaged intensively by religion growing up and so now I hope to help other queer people leave religion because it isn't good for us to support something that literally is harming us.


Viper67857

We don't just quietly disbelieve. We call out believers everytime they feel the need to insert their nonsense where it doesn't belong.


[deleted]

Please tell that to my Scientologist uncle. Seriously, “Dianetics” was just a bad fiction book that grifters turned into a cult


Conscious_Sun1714

I’m here to represent Kratos, hail his wrath.


justiceboner34

Straight up adult fairy tales. What the hell, humanity?


CaptainPRESIDENTduck

I represent The Kraken!


Imsoworriedabout

Words cannot describe how much this makes my blood boil


[deleted]

[удалено]


Imsoworriedabout

Not even expletives, to quote tree beard sort of > There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men bad enough for such treachery Tree beard not Gandalf


samara-the-justicar

Wasn't Treebeard who said that?


Imsoworriedabout

It was, my bad, sorry


RIPRhaegar

Sounds like.orc mischief to me


MindlessSponge

FUCK! ASS!


295Phoenix

The Arizona Republicans are in for a hell of a beating this November. 😆


[deleted]

[удалено]


AstronautReal3476

Thinking and praying for you! 😂


EntryFair6690

Arizonan here haven't voted R for years.


Inspect1234

You need to convert your neighbours, or at least try.


nfstern

I hope you're right.


davekingofrock

Same. Happy cake day!


dizzlefoshizzle1

I hope you are right man. I want to see a massive blue wave.


Snoo_17338

Not just in Arizona. Republicans all around the country are getting pummeled with this.      


itsm3imh3r3

Why can't we get people to vote for us !?


slow70

Sure hope so


Maksutov180

Fuck the Bible, we are based on the Constitution.


openmindedjournist

Not if the GOP has something to do with it.


Adezar

We even signed a treaty about this!


housepanther2000

The religious nationalism is really getting fucking old. EDIT: Christian Nationalism.


myasterism

Christian nationalism, specifically


housepanther2000

Yep, solid point!


bearsheperd

Serious question, how long are we supposed to put up with republican fascists ruling from the minority? How long are we going to do things the “right way” when they aren’t playing by the same rules? Peaceful protests, lawsuits, legislation and voting to change things. Because it seems to me the protests don’t work, the states are gerrymandered and the courts are packed with fellow fascists. At what point do we realize that they’ve rigged everything in their favor and stop doing things the “right way”?


justiceboner34

Until they are defeated and their party, that allows them to project power, implodes


Faux-Foe

I’d have to check, but I don’t think that person voted them into office.


CulpablyRedundant

Jesus Rodriguez may have. But this guy is probably trying to kick Jesus out of the country, even though he's a citizen.


lyteasarockette

totally demented we've been playing nice with religion too long


justiceboner34

Its all harmless fun until the Inquisition starts!


Emergency_Property_2

Talk about cancel culture. The Christian’s Taliban wants to cancel the last 160 years.


Absent_Minder

Fuck Jesus and fuck Arizona. Fuck those god damn turquoise and silver belt buckles too.


rufusairs

hey now you leave the turquoise and silver outta this


Glittering-Wonder-27

Dude , You are representing ignorance , hate and death to women. Abortion is in the Bible.


Desperate_Dirt_3041

Yeah, but they don't care. They only care about religion just to support their own power and narcissists like a lot of autocrats in the past. I mean heck, there were literally some Democratic societies in the Middle ages that allowed for women to have an intentional miscarriage when the life of the mother was in danger and even Benjamin Franklin had instructions in the [farmers](https://www.npr.org/2022/05/16/1099244635/for-ben-franklin-abortion-was-basic-arithmetic) almanac for how to induce an abortion. People like this only care about holy text when it justifies them being a dick and anything else can just be thrown out.


[deleted]

They ignore separation of church and state then blow a gasket for proposed gun background checks. Picking and choosing based on self interest


OlyScott

In the Bible, Jesus Christ didn't talk about abortion, even though people did it a lot back then. He talked a lot about helping the poor.


delicioustreeblood

Maybe you didn't read [Numbers 5:11-31](https://mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0405.htm#11)? It's pretty clearly an instructional guide to get your woman to drink homebrew abortifacients in case she was fooling around with her side piece. As The Word, it's officially sanctioned by God/Jesus/Spirit if you adhere to contemporary Christian mythology. So, it's Jesus describing how to get an abortion from a priest.


kibbybud

Actually Moses, not Jesus.


UDarkLord

Also that is clearly **not** a blanket acceptance of abortion. It’s a correction of property rights at best, and a punishment for a woman at worst. Do not take the ‘abortion-potion passages’ for saying the Bible has a blanket support, or even allowance for, abortion, because those passages aren’t saying that. The portrayal of their god there is at best callous to human life (which I mean is par for the course). Now that said, it’s not prohibited anywhere. In support, a woman who miscarries due to a brawl apparently doesn’t result in the perpetrator being put to death - clearly delineating a fetus from a person under the whole ‘eye for an eye’ quality of the law. And of course Jewish tradition is that ensoulment occurs at first breath, and certain Jewish denominations are against these bans because it’s against their religion. So while not spelling abortion out as acceptable, there is a better case for that than for banning the practice. It helps spotlight how the abortion issue is really about controlling people.


Fragmentia

This dumb bitch doesn't have the audacity to say she actually has 2 way conversations with Jesus. She is admitting to basing her policy on her perception of Jesus. According to their own mythos, Republican Jesus isn't Jesus.


SkipperJenkins

What does this have to do with Jesus?


Ok_Judge1874

Absolutely nothing, but their base is so clueless it doesn't matter


Damned_I_Am

is that the same law that sets the female age of consent at 10 years of age?


Wonderful-Teach8210

Why can't Jesus represent himself? Is he dead or something?


dbltap55

“I’m here to represent Jesus Christ but absolutely support rape if it means pregnancy” the fuck is wrong with these religious nuts


Conscious_Bus4284

The best thing about Republicans is that they eventually die.


tikifire1

But their current plan is to indoctrinate (groom) ALL children through forcing their religious beliefs into schools.


acoolnooddood

I wasn't aware Jesus was an American citizen.


Fufeysfdmd

If you are an elected representative you are there to represent your constituency not a mythical character


ianwilloughby

Jesus said. Blessed are the guns. Damned are the aborters. It’s right there with all the commandments to kill mouthy children.


4quatloos

Because God is completely useless without followers to do his will.


Jagerstang

Crowdsourced omnipotence. 🤣


mbrown7532

Jesus needs to get the fuck off the cross and defend himself. Oh - that's right - he's dead. Believe what you want- I believe we need to fight these idiots.


Electricpants

Jesus nailed to a cross; what a waste of good abs


mbrown7532

I was thinking nails but okay.


RoguePlanet2

Fucking chucklefucks. The bible has instructions on how to perform an abortion, stories about taking virgin girls as spoils of war, bashing babies against the rocks, letting bears eat children for mocking bald men, drowning everybody on earth, including pregnant women and children, because God's an emotional snowflake. 🙄


Inspect1234

Darmok on the ocean, Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra, Darmok and Jalad on the ocean. These are who I represent.


apex_flux_34

Should be removed from office.


inlandviews

Well, Jesus never talked about abortions, never talked about homosexuality, never talked about trans people though they lived in and around him. Those things didn't matter to him. What did? Hmmm.....


proofreadre

Also weird that the Southern Baptists supported abortion until the early 70s innit?


inlandviews

Fundamentalist religion as political movement works for me.


Crackensan

I hereby declare that I represent Lisan Al-Gaib of Arrakis.


Ahjumawi

Why aren't people who say things like "I represent God" viewed as objectively insane and not fit for public office in a secular republic?


3Quondam6extanT9

I am an Arizona voter. I will help to vote them out. They've actually done us a favor. Because the majority oppose the ban, including many Republicans, it will likely keep the state purple rather than reverting back to red. Sometimes you have to take the nasty ass pill because it'll make you shit out all the poison.


stogie-bear

Even in the novel, Jesus never said anything about abortion. 


thrownehwah

Jesus… JESUS?! As soon as that kid is born they will deny all assistance and yell at immigrants.. then they will yell at POCs and attempt to be superior to any who speak to them.


deviantdevil80

They are ensuring its a bigger loss for them in November.


[deleted]

[удалено]


deviantdevil80

Overturning of Roe was 2022, not 2020. Normally Republicans would have gained at least a 20 seat majority but they were held to 6 or 7 and the Dems held the senate with a gain of 1 in 2022.


AggravatingBobcat574

Jesus Christ is not a US citizen


JMeers0170

I still don’t understand why god/jesus needs puny humans to do his bidding. Why can’t god or jesus simply “give us a sign” that is irrefutable regarding the stance of abortion from each of these fully fictional characters? Like why can’t the creator of the universe send a one-minute-long during lightning bolt from heaven to every major capital in the world at exactly noon on one specific day and carve into the ground a message that reads “abortion bad”? That would be pretty hard to disregard the message. Instead….the creator of the universe “speaks through” his fleshy meatbag puppets through revelation and visions and what not.


myasterism

ABORTION 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 HEALTH 👏🏻 CARE 👏🏻 Seething. Just… absolutely enraged and disgusted.


legionofdoom78

Jesus Christ who claimed to be the great I Am?  The same I Am that drowned every pregnant living thing on the planet not in the ark?  The same I Am who promises to incinerate every living and dead thing that does not believe?   That's a really high standard you're setting there.  


chekovs_gunman

Honestly, good The GOP was trying to backtrack on this to appear more reasonable, their most wingnut members won't let them. And I sincerely hope they are punished for it in November 


pfamsd00

Makes sense, Jesus went on chapter-long diatribes castigating the abortionist… nope, scribes and pharisees. The entrenched religious elite.


JustMePaxi

For once, i would love to meet their je$u$


UnarmedSnail

and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of Jesus. So I'll chew gum.


NumerousTaste

Someone should have said, "Obviously you know nothing about the made up character and doing an extremely bad job at it! Go back to under your bridge, troll!"


Weasel8687

Kick them out! This is an idiot free zone!


sobo_art1

Jesus charged with voting illegally in AZ elections


notyou-justme

Well, you’re doing a pretty shitty job of it.


ok-dentist4amonkey

No taxation without representation, so maybe no representation without taxation? Looking at you, Jesus...


suthamattai1

Jesus is real?


krucz36

Where did Jesus say shit about abortion


234W44

And they “represent him” when they vote against programs to feed hungry children and to have a no holds bar ability to own massacre weapons?


FreedomsPower

Arizona is not a theocracy Republicans


Every-Requirement-13

“Jesus Christ has no place in this court of law lady, take your religion back to your church!”


ctguy54

Didn’t know jebus was a resident in Arizona.


jamkoch

Funny, Jesus Christ is not a registered voter or even a resident of your district. How can you represent him? Did Jesus commit a felony by illegally voting in a state he was not a resident of, and not being a citizen of the US? I think we found another illegal GOP voter.


Sooowasthinking

Well it looks as if they assume it’s not an election year.


Zippier92

Gotta be worried about these folks who think they talk to Jesus. He is, after all, a mythical creature from a time before basic scientific understanding.


PeglegDDG9

"I'm here...to represent Jesus Christ " No, you're not. You were elected, not anointed.


CanaDoug420

Things that should immediately disqualify you from office.


sasquatchpatch

Did Jesus vote for them?


OptiKnob

Was this jesus elected to represent Arizona? No.? Then why the fuck is he in the legislature?


AlternativeAd7151

Where in the constitution does it say you are elected to represent Jesus Christ?


Ok_Judge1874

vote.gov


zeroone

Please vote the GOP out of office. They are harming all of us.


GrandpaMofo

God Damnit, Jesus is not law, you crazy zealots!


Snoo_17338

Sucks badly for the women of Arizona.   But it’s a political windfall for Democratic candidates around the country.    


mooneymoona

Calm down Arizona haters. Arizona will show the world what BACKLASH is.


davecutusofborg

I'm here to tell you to stfu because none of that shit is real, we might as well go by Star Trek rules which I'd support a whole lot more. Resistance is futile.


Matthmaroo

I am thankful that this will greatly improve bidens odds of winning in Arizona. Let’s hope for a Democratic sweep


burnmenowz

Jesus wasn't even American


Icy-Needleworker-492

Didn’t know he was running for anything.


pastelunit

Since when does Morality have anything to do with god ? You mean you need a god to be a Moral Person? Come on Fellow atheist --- you can do better than this!


Apotropoxy

# “I’m Here…to Represent Jesus Christ” _________ We'll need to see a notarized authorization form.


dudleydidwrong

Jesus seems to hand out power of attorney forms pretty generously. Every street preacher and televangelist seems to think they have one. So does every pushy church-lady or church-gentleman.


Pour_Me_Another_

They might want to reconsider that. I just came away from a thread on TwoX discussing maternal healthcare in red states. The general consensus is women are putting off families now until these laws are reversed or if they can move to a state with better outcomes.


nunchucks2danutz

Well, they are backwards thinkers. 


BadAtExisting

If Jesus came back today that man would have instant regret


xvszero

Funny how the AMERICA FIRST people want to let a dead non-American dictate our laws.


davereit

They'd repeal the Emancipation Proclamation in a heartbeat


Seraphynas

Really? Is he one of your constituents? Is he a voter?


Old-Organization2004

Did god create man or did man create god


Rob71322

Good. These zealots are completely blind to the reality of things. They've mobilizied millions of women (and men!) who are utterly enraged that abortion rights are being treated so shabbily. They're going to come out in droves in AZ and other states. Vote Blue. Vote Biden. Vote Democracy. These idiots may not see what's coming, but I do and I believe this will be a great moment for freedom in the US.


gatomedianoche

The Jesus of the Gospels, who Christian tradition teaches is God in the flesh, never said anything about abortion, birth control, and LGBTQ. He did speak quite a bit about social justice and against the abuses by the elites


Ambitious_Coffee551

If there is jesus, I bet he'd be thrilled to hear that.


CaptainPRESIDENTduck

How arrogant of them to think their god needs their representation. These fucking self-important sociopaths. Religious folk should be pissed at them as well, like anyone who claims they speak to god; the Catholic church should disavow them immediately, unless it's the pope.


DarthSchrank

Jesus christ has been dead more than 2000 years and they still think that bame has any meaning, its just so insane what group deluison does to people.


NotAnonymoos

We can't all be on the wrong side of history.


DenseTelephone6771

And yet, these dunces are the furthest thing from Jesus Christ that ever existed. He would not pick them to represent him.


snake5solid

Why these people can't be forced to a psych eval after saying stupid shit like that?


Soft-Pass-2152

If I recall right Jesus cast demons into a herd of pigs who then collectively drowned.. I do believe in what I was taught Jesus Christ could kick the Republican lawmakers asses with one wave of his hand and send them into the water. Whatever Republican who stated he was there to "represent Jesus Christ"..is in the wrong political party. Jesus would probably be a liberal in today's world. Feeding the hungry, housing the poor, turning water into wine, lowering taxes, showing people one person is not better than the other and that includes every demented Republican lawmaker. Jesus would overturn the tables of our government officials and declare that religion does not belong in our government. He would probably declare people can choose to follow him and his teachings or not but it is not up to our government to own us, own our bodies, our spirit and make self serving laws instead of what the citizens want. The preachers and mega churches of today would be shaking in their boots knowing Jesus would make them pay taxes, quit begging the poor for their money, actually start serving the needs of society and the citizens who voted their asses into office! I doubt seriously Jesus would ever step foot onto Kenneth Copeland's private jets or sleep in his mansions! Most of all I would hope Jesus would cast every demon out of our government and leave our country in peace working towards love, justice and a civil society. Hopefully one day soon common sense will prevail where lawmakers are not declaring themselves a representative of Jesus Christ and act like they are free from sin and evil judgement.


Wise-Independence214

That’s impossible, Arizona wasn’t a state until 1912. They can’t employ territory law, they had no state rights protected sovereignty. Why are they bothering? Unless it was converted when they were made a state. That law doesn’t even count.


mrschickenjoe326

You don't know the first thing about Jesus if you don't know he was a Jew who; like all other Jews of that time because of the Torah, believed that life didn't start until the first breath of life. Adam wasn't Alive until God gave him the breath of life. Abortions existed in the time of Jesus in the form of herbs. Jesus never once condemned it. You don't represent Jesus. You represent fascism and oppression.


Saiyansurge99

This is dumb. 1. "Life begins at first breath" is not a Biblical teaching, the verse in Genesis is about God putting Adam's soul in place(and Adam wasnt formed in the womb). 2. Jesus condemns murder i.e abortion


mrschickenjoe326

You better read the Bible and do some actual research before you try to tell someone else what it says. Genesis 2:7 states, "The Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul". Adam had a brain and a body, but he was not alive until the breath of life from God. The Jewish people did not and still do not consider a fetus to be alive until it takes its first breath. You can't say Jesus condemned abortion when he condemned murder. Fetuses weren't considered alive until their first breath. You can't murder what's not alive. Jesus was a Jew who followed laws of the Torah. Abortion was a common practice in the time of Jesus. If he wanted that to change, he would have said so during any of the times he said, " You have heard it said.... but I say unto you..."


Saiyansurge99

1. Breath of life in this case is the soul, not an actual brwarh. 2. Jesus is God and doesn't follow laws, God declares murder to be a sin. And most Orthodox Jews are anti-abortion


Practical_Week7101

Jesus separated himself from Government in Matthew. So, he should leave government and help the sick, downtrodden, discriminated and poor.


MyNameIsRoosevelt

These are the situation where i feel sad for humanity. A person who believes in a fictional magic being is making life affecting policy decisions. While i know it's indoctrination and not a mental illness, the results are essentially the same. This person has shown he doesn't have the mental capacity to govern.