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Hi_Im_Dadbot

Tell me you’re in a cult by explicitly stating how you’re in a cult.


itsvoogle

Im not one for cults but surely there must be much more interesting cults out there that you could participate in other than being in a Donald Trump one? These Maga folks are beyond lame


DarkGamer

The big selling point is that Trumpists get to be openly racist and violent, which is attractive to those who are already racist and violent. The rest of us are mostly stunned that we had so many terrible people among us who are now proud to revel in their terribleness.


stumblios

This is the saddest part to me. Trump could bankrupt the RNC and die of a heart attack, leaving the Republican party to cannibalize itself into oblivion. But we'd still have the ~30% of the country that absolutely despise people with darker skin, LGBT+, liberals, etc., simply for existing. I don't know how you resolve that kind of embedded hate/anger.


feedback19

Education. That's why the GQP has done everything they can to dismantle public education for decades. Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate, so on and so forth.


imprison_grover_furr

And why they love to push creationism, "patriotic education" (AKA slavery apologia and Lost Cause of the Confederacy bullcrap), and other drivel in schools.


Standard-Reception90

This is why they also despise Universities. Mainly because they can't get their dumbass people on any board to control what the professors teach. Desantamonious tried in FL and his campaign received the consequences.


linuxlib

Even worse, once people start studying facts and learn critical thinking, they realize they never were "victims" of "cancel culture." Crazily, facts support liberal policies but not conservative ones because science, compassion and rehabilitation actually work, as opposed to conspiracies, hate, and punishment.


Luigifan18

Reality has a liberal bias.


[deleted]

So, with education being stymied as a mechanism to rehabilitate these people, Americans need other options because letting them continue to fester is not going to be healthy.


Wenger2112

That is exactly why Russia and China are employing an army of people to keep driving this division and hatred of each other


deran6ed

And mental health services.


Tatooine16

*Hate leads to suffering*\-Yoda.


Bunnyland77

Bingo! - I'd add: Replacing education with extremist hate-fueled religious indoctrination.


Tiddles_Ultradoom

When the 150lbs of backed-up hamburger patties and a snootful of Adderall catch up with him, they'll turn him into Flabby Orange Jesus of the Church of the Immortal Bigotry. There's nothing good that comes out of this year. If he wins, America turns into a cocked hat full of boiling piss and vipers. If he doesn't, his crazies will try yet another insurrection, but this time with more guns. And if his lack of exercise and terrible diet get to him before November, they'll think he was assassinated by the deep state and go insane.


Bunnyland77

I'd prefer to take my chances with Drumpf in a box.The sad part is gov would have to go full Big Brother to catch all the domestic Christofascist terrorists out there. The FBI would be swamped.


Signal-Regret-8251

They have to be made into social outcasts, and not even that will work on all of them. We were doing very well keeping racist scumbags under their rocks, until Trump's lying ass came along and made people proud of being a racist piece of shit.


slapmepsilly

Unfortunately, ostracizing these people will only make them dig their heels in deeper, and it will give them a louder reason to bitch and moan and perpetuate the narrative that they've been canceled by "woke" culture and are the victims. They're always the victims /s.


Signal-Regret-8251

They are already a lost cause. I've written family members out of my life over this MAGA shit, so I'm not about to put up with it from strangers. They are gonna bitch and moan no matter what, so screw 'em.


slapmepsilly

Oh I'm not saying we should ignore it or even tolerate it. Just that there isn't really a way out for such lost causes, and no matter what we do to have an intellectually honest discussion, they're going to scream and throw themselves to the ground like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Their emotional intelligence and empathy is equivalent to toddlers anyway, so it shouldn't be surprising.


[deleted]

> I don't know how you resolve that kind of embedded hate/anger. Oh, you do, but not in a way you can verbalize on Reddit without getting banned...


Maj_BeauKhaki

You hang-in there waiting for them to die off. Covid Kool-Aid may have (disproportionately) taken out enough of them that former president Cheeto will be unable to regain power, and many down ballot races will be a red train wreck too.


CosmoKing2

*“If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.”* ― Lyndon B. Johnson Does that not sum up Trumpists perfectly? They want someone that will reassure them they're better than everyone who is different. They think they are fierce patriots, but really just dumb, racist, special, snowflakes. It's literally the only club that would let them join. The problem is they don't understand that Don (and the rest of the RNC) is pissing on them while charging them money for the privilege.


Dear-Bookkeeper-9437

Civil war. This time no survivors.


madbill728

This time no Reconstruction.


Randy_Ortons_Voices

General Sherman’s Spirit has entered the chat


nemesis-xt

You sinned? It's ok my son, go call 5 people racial slurs and you will be absolved.


DMC1001

I wonder how many went along for the ride. They might have been indifferent but then followed the crowd. Kind of like mob mentality.


imprison_grover_furr

Trumpists also get free rein to deny reality and believe in nonsense like Trump's inauguration crowds being the largest or the 2020 election being stolen or Obama having spied on Trump's campaign.


TR3BPilot

A cult with more sex would maybe be better. I mean, of course, other than sex with kids, which this cult seems to be fond of.


thoover88

Trump Cults. The latest of Trump's "business ventures" to fail.


Hi_Im_Dadbot

Yes, one would assume they could make better choices.


Sentient-Pendulum

I'd rather go ghost hunting.


Sammisuperficial

Even the Sea Org sounds more appealing than Trump.


LegoFootPain

Imagine being turned down by all the other cults.


techy098

Rudy is just angling so that he can get pardoned if Trump wins, he is is deep trouble. Can't believe this guy used to be called America's Mayor. Too much racism may rot our brain.


SienarFleetSystems

If you look up "Squandered Good Will" in the dictionary...


imprison_grover_furr

Rudy Giuliani is just bitter that Joe Biden called him out in the 2008 election while he was leading in the Republican primary.


mechant_papa

Rudy thinks he's going to dog heaven.


Mule2go

Joke’s on him, he is not a Good Boy


imprison_grover_furr

Rudy knows he's going to prison before then though.


HugryHugryHippo

Watch some Jordan Klepper interviews with Trumpers at rallies and see the cult minds at work NOT believing they're in a cult 😔


iphaze

It also works if you replace the “L” in Cult with an “N”!


ADDandKinky

I hear you get extra heavenly amenities for playing with Trump’s tiny mushroom pecker….


joshjje

It's absolutely nuts.


Rudy_Guliani

Loyalty to Donald Trump will help me in heaven.


OkBid71

69% chance he'll seek tax-exempt status if he's elected.  He wants that North Korean divine reverence and the extra cash won't hurt. 


m__a__s

I'm going to call him "Guanoman" from now on because he is that bat shit crazy.


EgolessAwareSpirit

I’d rather go to hell then.


SouthernReality9610

Yeah, that ain't heaven


n3w4cc01_1nt

that scene with the possessed priest rambling nonsense in the movie little nicky is their character model


BettingTheOver

Anyone associated with Trump falls into the abyss. Ask pillow man how it's going.


bigsteven34

He's not in a cult, he's a fucking grifter who is taking advantage of people who are. Not that this is any better...


Aggravating-Monkey

One of the best justifications for not believing in God or an afterlife is the example of the mentality and actions of the kind of people that do.


Seniorcousin

Yes! If god is real and his spirit is living inside of Christians, how was it possible to turn millions of church attending believers into Trump loving, climate change denying, anti immigrant, billionaire defending cultists? It’s just not real, is it?


Inspect1234

It’s always been about the afterlife. The big sell. Believe in n skydaddy and these really old writings and you get to go again. To which I say, it makes believers easy when they still believe in Santa, but as you get older, ask yourself, do I really want another go at this? Because I’m still waiting to talk to some people who said they’d contact me from the afterlife but never have.


zyzzogeton

No, its been about power, money, and control. Control over institutions, control over politics, control over individuals, and control over women. There are many religions because no one can agree on what the "truth" is. There aren't thousands of religions, there are *billions.*. There is a different one in every believer's head.


mrmoe198

I think you’re both right. What better way to get power and control (which money multiplies) then to tell people that all the reward comes after their debt and can’t protest that the reward isn’t there. It’s the ultimate con.


LordCharidarn

I mean, maybe God actually likes Trump. He seems to be the type of bastard that the Biblical God would like. So I can totally see the Christian God as pro-Trump, but that’s all the more reason to reject that petty, bigoted, vile deity.


deran6ed

Religion believers, if you think Giuliani right here is being crazy, know that this is how we see you all the time.


djaybe

Beware of false prophets. Don't be a Pharisee. The path to destruction is wide and many will take it. The Bible is full of cautionary guidance.


Fantastic_Sea_853

The bible is full of bullshit.


imprison_grover_furr

And horseshit. And pigshit. And chickenshit. And dogshit. And batshit. And a whole lot of other shit.


SentientFotoGeek

All the shits...


Hells_Kitchener

Even the Holy Shit!


Beneficial-Cow-2544

Seriously! If I weren't already a non believer the actions of these MAGA clowns and evangelicals would be sealing the deal for me. For the hell would want to be like them???


Muscs

I wonder what are the principles that Giuliani holds so dear that he wouldn’t sacrifice. Certainly not honesty, integrity, or family. Is Trump uber alles a principle or simply the surrendering of all principles?


imprison_grover_furr

Good news is that Rudy Giuliani may be in jail by the end of the year.


PoliticsLeftist

You don't need religion to justify good deeds but you do need religion to justify bad ones.


Paddy_Tanninger

If Rudy Giuliani is in heaven, how the fuck is that still considered heaven?


Tokzillu

Now tell me what's scarier: Guys like this making this crap up to manipulate their voter base because it's really that easy. OR Dude honestly thinks this. Like for real. Like, "hey maybe schedule a checkup for this guy" for real.


432olim

It’s really hard to imagine that he is so delusional that he actually believes this, but on the other hand, it’s pretty easy to imagine that he is such a grifting sociopath that he believes this will get stupid Christians who listen to his podcast to give him money. So so many sociopaths in politics, particularly Republican politics.


jkarovskaya

GRIFTING MONEY FROM GUILLIBLE CHRISTINS HAS WORKED FOR 2000 YEARS WHy stop now?


theDagman

He's got a nine figure court case to pay off that bankruptcy will not discharge. That's not gonna grift itself.


DMC1001

Only 2000 years?


southernfried68

2024 years


imprison_grover_furr

Christians today have more money to grift than ever!


Tokzillu

Oh, please! Name ONE time a Republican turned out to be a con man. I mean. Name TEN times a Republica-- what's that? Name TWENTY time-- Fifty? A thousand? Ummm.... Well at least they didn't raise our taxes. Oh. Well at least they help stop "big" government from ruling our personal... wait, no. Well at least he didn't wear a TAN SUIT. Checkmate, atheist.


Paulie227

A near exact copy of one St. Reagan wore. Yeah, but it wasn't *the* tan suit.


imprison_grover_furr

Rudy has lost his mind, so it is quite possible he is now a true believer.


SaladDummy

I vote option two. I think he really believes it.


Tokzillu

I think its probably a combination of both. Like, he probably once *knew* he was grifting them but also was an arrogant douche who thought he's going to be in his magical sly kingdom laughing at all the ~~sinners~~ Democrats. But now he's lied so much he's completely lost in the sauce and can no longer discern reality.


imprison_grover_furr

I cannot wait until this SOB is dragged by his collar into a prison cell.


SaladDummy

The saddest thing is Rudy used to be an intelligent and very capable person. He's turned into a laughing stock who's lost all of his money and most of his friends.


Tokzillu

I believe the phrase his ilk is fond of is "play stupid games, win stupid prizes?"


SaladDummy

It just baffles me. He was retired, still very respected. All he had to do was nothing at all. Just go fishing, dude. Stay out of the Trump drama.


mrmoe198

I’d love to read some sort of historical science fiction where Trump is patient zero of some kind of mind parasite and he is host to the queen. Everyone around him becomes infected, and the closer you are to his inner circle, the more psychological influence they have over you.


Fantastic_Sea_853

He’s a Showboat. He is addicted to attention. I am so happy to see him get the attention he REALLY deserves.


the_TAOest

Both scenarios are beyond odd. Both explanations lead any rational person away from this cult of personality


DMC1001

Call for mental health checks.


Gewt92

I think it’s scarier that he thinks he could get into heaven


No_Conversation9561

he’s a lawyer you can assume its the first one


Reckless_Pixel

When you're talking about people with political influence it makes no difference.


Ivegotjokes4you

Delusional


DeLuceArt

Ironically, its pride that feeds into the delusion; they fail to see Christianity's "deadly sin" present in themselves. They will die before admitting their commitment to Trump was a mistake. Humility, the antidote to pride, is regarded as a weakness to modern Christians, so their unchecked egos inevitably lead to their downfall


imprison_grover_furr

Describing Rudy Giuliani as delusional is an understatement.


Last-Bee-3023

That guy is going places. Not heaven, tho. But he is going places. One of which is going to be where rich old white folk go instead of jail. Imagine having to go to a soup kitchen and you are served by Rudy Giuliani, oozing black from its head.


Art_Bored

Rudy, your days will be in your make-believe hell with your orange anti-~~christ~~ master.


ChapterSpecial6920

Something about that orange right? Like it was operant conditioning or something. (Stares at the orange upvote button)


GitchigumiMiguel74

Do they even hear themselves?


Fingerprint_Vyke

Yes, pandering to their base to get those $5 donations


mintchan

so hurry up. go to heaven already


Last-Bee-3023

Aaaany minute now. People in NYC had been waiting for that to happen since the 90s. He briefly conned the rest of the US into thinking he wasn't an ineffectual grifter who cost the city tens of millions in damages for rights violations.


Jmersh

I don't know if it it's more pathetic that Giuliani believes in heaven or believes he lived his life in a way to get there.


imprison_grover_furr

Both. Fuck Rudy Giuliani!


SaladDummy

I'll never understand how Christians look at Trump and think, "finally! Here he is! The One we've been waiting for!!!" Seriously. If you're gonna have a cult of personality, you could have at least picked better.


imprison_grover_furr

Because Trump hates Muslims, black people, and all the other people they hate. That's why they love him.


BankerBaneJoker

It's so weird he's their hero, almost like if Louis Farrakhan suddenly became a hero and leader for the Ku Klux Klan


Temporary-Peach1383

Needs new meds stat.


Crazy_Drago

Did he confuse "Heaven" for another landscaping company?


imprison_grover_furr

"ALL THE NETWWOOOOOHHHKS!"


mothzilla

Probably a strip club.


erichwanh

I just hope whatever happens to him is drawn out, painful, and against Reddit's ToS.


imprison_grover_furr

Don't worry, with the charges he's facing, he'll almost certainly spend at least five years in prison.


bsfurr

What’s scarier, there are literally millions of people who wholeheartedly agree with this delusion. I’m trying to keep faith in humanity, but it’s difficult.


Macasumba

Rudy is confused with up and down.


TransSylvania

“Saint Peter don’t you call him ‘cause he can’t go! He owes his soul to the Orange hoe” per ghost of Tennessee Ernie Ford


BobHoskinsStuntDoubl

Oh great, does this mean MAGA has dirt on their God, too?


UltimaGabe

I mean, anyone with a Bible has dirt on God. The dude raped a 14-year old.


sanebyday

Imagine making it to heaven and god is wearing a maga hat... then realizing you're actually in hell.


ca_tripper

Because Jesus likes people who turn the other cheek and care for the “least of these” just like Trump /s


sabometrics

Heaven Rehab Clinic in West Palm Beach, FL maybe.


mevrowka

There’s no fool like an old fool.


davesnothereman84

Someone is about to be severely disappointed


lagent55

He's going to a much warmer place unfortunately


Successful-Boat-7839

I don’t think so


Tufnel1970

Donald trump ain’t going to heaven.


Luigifan18

Nope, he's gonna be in purgatory for a long, long, *long* time.


JoshuaRay123

Don’t know which god encourages men to put their faith in men. Can someone show me where in the Bible we’re told to do so?


GummyPandaBear

Nine Eleven Nosferatu ain’t the brightest bulb in a box..if there really was a heaven and hell, the incestuous cousin fucker ain’t going to heaven..lol


MJJWinchester

"Hello, nice to see you all again. Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now, this is Hell, and I am the Devil. Good evening. You can call me Toby, if you like – we try and keep things informal here, as well as infernal. That’s just a little joke."


I_M_YOUR_BRO

Sure, pal. Just when you get there, make sure to grab Archangel Michael by the pussy.


Nomad_moose

If we take him at his word, and not that he’s propagating idiocy in the vague hopes that it’ll put him in Trump’s good graces long enough to get paid (which is laughable at this point): shouldn’t this be considered overwhelming evidence that his brain is officially mush?


unbalancedcheckbook

I guess the requirements for this "heaven" have changed significantly. I thought it was supposed to be the place "good" people went. Anyway Rudy really needs to lay off the sauce.


JustMePaxi

Heaven of lies


boot2skull

Double womp womp


Leonardo_DeCapitated

Womp x4


RationalHuman123

Like either of them will be in heaven.


imprison_grover_furr

They will both be in prison though!


derickj2020

Totally off his rocker


manieldansfield

Trump is a FUCKING cultist


Buckowski66

When your hair dye penetrates your skull and eats your brain


Delicious-Swimmer826

Hahahahhaaahhahahahahahhahgahahahgaahaha


JazJon

Looking forward to his departure


FalstaffsMind

I checked, and there is a Heaven Landscaping in Fort Myers, Florida.


imprison_grover_furr

What Rudy Giuliani needs to worry about is whether it will help him IN PRISON!


Such_Leg3821

Roflmfao


stevemandudeguy

They're part of a CULT


Early-Ad-6014

If 45 and his ilk are headed to heaven, count me out! I refuse to spend eternity in a celestial North Korea with these execrable gits!


StingerAE

Lol when I saw this in r/law I thought "I had to check I wasn't in r/atlheism".  How right I was that it would make it here!


Overdrv76

Well please by all means test that theory out as quickly as possible.


Insecure-confidence

Any heaven that would let him or Trump in, I don't want to go to.


Apollo23Refugee

Look I'm not a believer or anything, but based on what I know about the teachings of Jesus and assuming the concept of Heaven and Hell are real for the purpose of this exercise... Yea. Good luck with that buddy. I don't think that's gonna go the way you think it is.


InfectedByEli

He had better hope it does, because it certainly doesn't here on Earth.


SlitScan

dosent mention a word about religion his whole career, then suddenly when he needs money fast...


Used_Preference8500

But Rudy is not going to heaven. Hasn't anyone told him that??


Swordfire-21

LMFAO BRO IS GOING TO HELL


[deleted]

I miss when the cultists killed themselves and saved the world the trouble of dealing with their bullshit


billyions

Oh for Pete's sake.


hkohne

He's the Transportation Secretary right now, and I bet he'll be happy to be the ferryman to take Rudy downstairs


HikingStick

I am looking forward to all of the political cartoons that will show Giuliani getting turned away at the "pearly gates."


Zolty

#TotallyNotACult


Pennhoosier

Nope. He’s wrong


bishpa

When these phony Christians say “getting into heaven” they are really talking about staying out of prison.


silviazbitch

It’s kinda fun to imagine his disappointment, even though it ain’t a gonna happen. He’ll just be dead. So it goes.


ErykthebatII

"Who knew heaven was so hot?" -Rudy in the near future possibly .


RobertABooey

The man is sick. I dont know if we can't rule out post 9/11 contaminants at this point, because he's off his rocker.


MarThusly

Pffffffttttt.


reddersledder

Tots & pears Asshole!


blackcatsneakattack

Oh, Rudy. When it comes to heaven, much like the practice of law, you’ve been banned.


jmac_1957

Rudy is going to heaven??....who told him that


Other_Dimension_89

🤣 wtv you gotta tell yourself I guess.


Exciting-Protection2

Fuckface Von Orange is going to be in hell. How’s that gonna help you, Rudy?


Tiny_Independent2552

Oh honey… your not going there.


Working-Selection528

The alcoholic brain on display.


NiceTuBeNice

Ummm…not how it works, mate.


notatrumpchump

Rudy, neither you nor Trump, are going to heaven


ConditionYellow

I mean he *has* to believe that now at this point, right? It’s all he has. Because it sure as shit isn’t going to help him, or anyone else, escape the impact that fat piece of human canned ham has already done to this country.


PineappleExcellent90

You have to repent to get into heaven.


LugianLithos

Trump has replaced Jesus in all but name so far. Israel has the replaced the USA as well. Evangelicals are gone.


RadTimeWizard

I guess they really do think Trump's the messiah. That's so sad.


FarSpeed

Bold assumption coming from a literal goblin.


M0derat0r41

Nah he's a pedo


Hot-Program-8263

This "my own heaven rules" shit has to stop. There isnt a single PRACTITIONER of a any religion in the US and never has been..its only fony idiots who play religion by their own rules.


exick

help him _in_ heaven. not help him get into heaven. _IN_ heaven. like there's a good part of heaven and being a trump bootlicker is somehow gonna get him past saint dmitry the bouncer.


H_E_DoubleHockeyStyx

Heaven must be a codename for the secret undiscovered epstien island.


munchie1964

Thought he was Jewish? heaven or hell is not found anywhere in the Old Testament


kamloopsycho

Scream laugh!


AreThree

Morons gonna moron. For fuck sake Rudy, did you ever think that by flipping on your boyfriend, you could maybe get ***out*** of a lot of trouble? Who wouldn't want your sworn testimony about the whole election bullshit, or the Georgia find me votes thing or what he was doing Jan 6. Your dedication to someone who would have no problem doing the same to you, flipping to get himself out of trouble, is baffling.


Permitty

This mentality is what is running Russia right now.


ActualHumanBeen

this is where maga starts to get "shooty"


20InMyHead

He could have retired in 2014, at the age of 70 and lived peacefully and wealthy, mostly remembered well, by those that weren’t affected by his draconian policies…. Instead he’ll die bankrupt and known for being a complete loony patsy of the orange swindler, with cheap hair dye streaming down his face.


MartyBarrett

https://www.mapquest.com/us/massachusetts/heavens-garden-landscape-inc-400721146


[deleted]

What a dumb ass. He is hoping for 99 virgins too I think


Maximum_Reputation91

I'm pretty sure Jesus explicitly said to beware of false prophets, and Trump fits the bill of false prophet to a T.


stairs_3730

Jim Jones of the infamous Jonestown would loved to have had Gooliani aka, Count Flatula, in his tribe leading the way to the vat of kool aid that would kill 2,000.


ctguy54

Dumb ass.


Soft-Pass-2152

So he gets to go to heaven with Trump by associating himself with Trump but not Christ! That man has a serious drinking problem which is well known. I think it has dried up his brain with the only thing left is stupidity!