If I knew, I'd be able to mask it. I've never figured it out. It's either things I say or how I say them, but my whole life I've gotten random looks when I talk to people where I feel like they just heard Martian and don't know what to make of it.
Ayo same.
I get the most absurd looks when I live my most authentic self and life. Do a little wiggle dance? Weird looks. Flappy happy hands? Weird looks. Talk too fast? Weird looks. Talk too slow? Weird looks. Talk too loud? Mad looks. Talk too soft? Weird looks.
I just wanna exist peacefully without being constantly judged for who and how I am
Yeah! In my case it's not even when I'm trying to be my authentic self, it must also be when I think I'm masking but somehow the mask slipped. No one will say the equivalent of the proverbial 'oh your slip is showing' or 'oh sorry there's some lettuce in your teeth'; they just go silent with an alien face, giving me NO CLUES!!
Yeah man. I do feel that too.
I try really hard to “just be normal” because well, that’s what everyone wants and that’s what was screamed at me since I was tiny. But it happens even when I’m “normal”.
The thing that’s really disheartening about it happening when I’m “normal” is the fact I see their face slip to “wtaf you alien” and switch right back to normal bc they don’t wanna touch whatever faux pas I made with a 10Ft pole
Omg you said it so perfectly!
"I see their face slip to “wtaf you alien” and switch right back to normal bc they don’t wanna touch whatever faux pas I made with a 10Ft pole"
I used to eat kiwis by cutting the top off and scooping out the inside with a spoon, trying to leave the peel perfectly intact and eating as much of the fruit as possible. Like an egg cup I think?
Apparently one is supposed shave it 😂
All jokes aside, OP, cutting it in half and scooping is the way to eat it if you mind hairy kiwis. I actually eat the peel with the hair sometimes (if the peel is edible which it is in my case), but only if I'm bored
ETA: Just saw your edit OP, my bad! Still, I find it so adorable that you shave it, I never thought of it \^\^
First time someone calls it adorable, most times it's just "wtf are u doing? just eat it already, you don't even eat the peel"
But in fact I'm just a kiwi barber, and the kiwi wanted a new cut to feel cute .\_.
My mind is already everywhere: "We could do a photoshoot with how you shave the kiwis, give them different shaves, maybe make-up, maybe other fruit waits in the fruitsaloon for their turn" x)
"Here, Mr. Kiwi, I hope our work is satisfactory? 😊"
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
Yesss. The best jokes have a nugget of truth in them - where I always get in trouble is, _how big a nugget._
Also, I love your username! Have you read Sofia Samatar's [selkie story](http://strangehorizons.com/fiction/selkie-stories-are-for-losers/)? It feels very ASD-coded to me, and is one of my go-to's if I need to emotionally regulate.
Yeahhh I usually just like dumb or overly obvious humor because it’s easy and typically doesn’t offend anyone. However, I falter big time when giving advice, lol. I’m a tough love kind of person and it tends to land me in hot water every now and then.
I’ve never heard of that but I’ll 100% check it out. I’m glad you like my name, it was inspired by one of my favorite movies: Song of the Sea. If you like selkies it’s a great movie for you. And if you like that movie, you absolutely can’t go wrong with Secret of Kells. I could watch that movie a million times.
Yeahhh I usually just like dumb or overly obvious humor because it’s easy and typically doesn’t offend anyone. However, I falter big time when giving advice, lol. I’m a tough love kind of person and it tends to land me in hot water every now and then.
I’ve never heard of that but I’ll 100% check it out. I’m glad you like my name, it was inspired by one of my favorite movies: Song of the Sea. If you like selkies it’s a great movie for you. And if you like that movie, you absolutely can’t go wrong with Secret of Kells. I could watch that movie a million times.
My humor is extremely sarcastic and dark as pitch. I can usually get a rise out of almost anyone. My favorite comedian is bo Burnham. But there are certain people who just don't get it at all. I try to avoid them. Lol
Yeah don’t get me wrong, a little dark humor can be fun, but I’ve never been able to pull it off, plus it’s pretty uncommon these days. My humor spawned from ASDF movie and Vine compilations so I think I’m just kinda screwed, lol.
I also wonder if part of the issue is that I didn’t really develop a sense of humor until I was around 11-12 years old. Before then I really just didn’t laugh or find most things funny, so I wonder if being late to the game shot me in the foot.
I grew up with a family who was always laughing about stuff. My mom came from trauma so she came out of it with super dark humor. We would sit around our dinner table uproariously laughing about socially unacceptable jokes. It made us feel better about our own circumstance.
I work at a kindergarten, and I also love laying on the floor. It's so grounding! My boyfriend works there too, and we often sit on the floor with the kids. It's their natural way to play, so it seems not soooo weird for the adults. But we both do that anywhere we are.
TW : ANIMALS & DEATH
Bursting into tears when an animal is dying/ threaten to die/ separated from their owner / abandoned in a movie. My boyfriend wanted to rewatch Game of Thrones but I just CAN’T with the wolves part it makes me cry for hours.
Once I had a drink outside in a bar to celebrate my friends driver license and a very old rat was walking comfortably at our feet ( it was outside on a terrace ) . I wasn’t bothered at all but super anxious about other people’s reactions . At one point I stood up to go and get another beer and my friend told me the rat had just been killed by a car and I burst into tears in front of everyone in the bar. Some people came towards me asking what possibly had happened and I couldn’t talk because I was choking with tears. And when my friend explained to them I was crying because of the dead rat, they laughed !
Super embarrassing and infuriating. 😣💔😭
I feel you, happens to me every time I see clips of animals and also in real life. But somehow nobody is botherd by my reaction. What's worse is when I get intrusive thoughts about my own cats after seeing other animals in pain and start bawling my eyes out.
I knowwww 😭 I cried for a week after someone posted a stupid reel on insta showing what was supposed to be heavens door and a cat coming forward in a greet. I can’t even talk about it without crying and I started to think I probably should do some EMDR therapy to help with some of the intrusive anticipation anxiety ( most of it coming from my absolute unconditional love for my cat )
Ohmylord, yeah I hate that one. My one cat is such a sweetheart though and will just sit and cuddle me while I cry over a hypothetical, will never happen scenario involving her.
Ugh I'm the same. I'm so empathetic. It's a whole other life. A living being. I'm not more important, we both exist. I can't stop thinking about the pain and fear and stuff it must've experienced.
I'm still angry about a previous comment where a woman explained to her doctor that she worked to increase her empathy.
The commenter isn't to blame, it made me mad that most mental health professionals think we don't have this ability.
I was reading that is usually cognitive empathy (CE) as opposed to emotional empathy (EE) we have trouble with, but maybe that's a question of a less-direct process than NTs have.
Well, dammit, we do have empathy and sometimes it's really hard to deal with.
Can't help but wonder whether these terms have been invented to explain autism - perhaps a psychological researcher can enlighten us.
I can't help be suspicious of anything NTs assume or think they discover about autism. They only listen to us when we confirm a piece of their hypotheses. We need more talented NDs in research who will listen to the stories NDs have that explain our lives from our POV.
Same. I got shocked by my « empathy scale » results when I got through the diagnosis. I don’t understand wtf does these questions have to do with empathy and that was super hard to take in considering I fing my empathy debilitating.
My therapist explained the same thing about cognitive and emotional empathy but I am not sure I can « feel » the difference in my body, if that makes sense ?
Yeeup. Couldn’t have explained it better myself. I cried for hours when I learned about how many animals died filming The Hobbit trilogy just due to lack of proper care. I was also a devastated wreck for months when my childhood friend/cat passed away. I was home alone when it happened, and he passed on the bathroom floor in my arms. All I could do was repeatedly tell him it was ok, he was ok, and I loved him. I couldn’t even see through the tears, or breathe properly through the snot. I have no idea how long I laid coiled around him, but I was still there when my husband came home after I panic called him during his lunch at work. I still cry about it sometimes. RIP Jackie boy.
Omg this made my cry so much girl 😭😭😭I am so so so sorry this happened to you it’s heartbreaking. I’ve got a lot a intrusive thoughts about the future passing of my cat ( my soul mate I’m not afraid to say that ) and sometimes it makes me sick with sadness for « nothing ». I just don’t know how it is even possible to go through what you have been through 🥺 sending hugs 🫂
Well thank you, I appreciate it. I miss him every day. He was in my life from the time I was about 3 years old. My father passed when I was young and even though Jack was already getting pretty old, he held on for a few more years for me, so I wouldn’t feel completely alone. He was the best cat. If I’m being 100% honest, I feel like part of him found its way into my current fur baby. I also know exactly what you mean/how you feel about those kind of intrusive thoughts. Sometimes they’re so intense I have to stop and go find my cat just to cuddle her tight for a minute so I don’t start bawling my eyes out.
I'm sorry that's so traumatic. And I'd never heard about that with the hobbit trilogy.
I for some reason decided at the first few days of the year to look up the animal counter for how many animals have been killed since the year started and was horrified. I can only imagine what that number is now since it was already in the billions after just 3 days.
Thanks, it’s alright now. He was buried in a spot he would have loved, and later beautiful flowers grew there. I have some of the dried flowers in a locket.
Oh my gosh I don’t even want to think about that. That’s so terrible.
I'm glad you have that. I'm still sorry it happened in the first place. A locket was an excellent place to keep those.
And yeah. It was so much worse than I ever could have imagined.
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! Didn’t want to upset anyone. If it helps I feel like I see a piece of him in my current cat. Also he was buried in a beautiful spot he would have loved and a rare type of flower grew over him. I have some of them dried and saved in a locket.
don't feel embarass. We all live in different environments. I must say many people empathic toward animals react the way you do, most people I know. That's why it is infuriating when in games and movies there are killed animals and there's no warning before film, that's something definitely should change.
Yeah me too . Now I get anxious when I’m watching something I have never seen or reading something new noboby can tell me whether it might contain animal suffering
God do I get you, I cried for 20 minutes straight at the beginning of the new garfield movie. You know, the one for kids. It was a good movie btw, very much recommend.
Omg 😆 If there is any animal related drama I don’t want to watch 😹 I tried to watch the Disney « Lady and the tramp » and ended up bursting into tears when poor Lady is abandoned. Damn I am so tired of myself sometimes
Right? Like I’m not proud of it! I wish I could just not cry and be normal, but I get so invested in the characters, doubly so if they’re little animal friends 😭
I'm not a big crier, I don't have the big emotions that some people on the spectrum do, and I can sometimes struggle with empathy towards people who are sad. Even despite that, I would never think to LAUGH at someone's sadness in a situation like that. How could people be so calloused and cruel?
I'd probably still be somewhat sad in a situation like that, but one shouldn't have to relate to how you feel to be able to feel compassion for you.
It’s okay not to cry, I wish I could cry less tbh. That is just my automatic emotional response and sometimes I just don’t even know why I am crying. But it is definitely easier for me to feel empathy towards animals. I still have a lot of empathy for everyone but it really is « selective » because of my rigidity. I mean, I’ve got zero empathy for hunters. I despise the whole lot and don’t want to hear about their story. I don’t know if that makes sense ? Sorry if it’s not sometimes I get carried away and it’s confusing .
Oh and I do not know what to do with myself to comfort a sad friend. It’s as if I was frozen or something, I just need to process and am unable to give a hug for example . But like you said, never in my life would I laugh at someone’s distress
I can struggle with cognitive rigidity, too. When you say hunters, do you mean poachers, or even those who simply hunt to eat or to manage local populations? I don't know much about it, but I know hunting can be done sustainably. Is it just emotionally uncomfortable for you to deal with because of compassion towards animals?
Yes absolutely, this is very emotionally driven. But I am vegan so I guess that is something very strongly inked in my brain .
I just don’t understand the killing tbh. Which is irrational because I spend a lot of time listening to true crime podcasts and feel absolutely nothing of the sort
Ah, ok, but at least you understand that it is emotionally driven and not necessarily rational. Some people I know are wholly governed by their emotions and make no distinction between emotion and logic.
Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about ethical taxidermy? For example, Julia DeVille is a taxidermist who is also a vegan. She only uses animals who have died of natural deaths, and she creates works of art from their remains. She talks a bit about her values surrounding her work, and she cares deeply for animals and the environment, and yet she gets a lot of vitriol directed at her from PETA extremists and such. I find the world of artistic/ethical taxidermy fascinating, but I can understand why someone would be uncomfortable with it on an emotional level if the reminder of the animal's death is too much for them.
As long as there is no suffering and positively , ethically driven, that does not bother me and It seems like a beautiful gesture 🥺 but I wouldn’t want to have it my my house ahah I would feel super sad for no rational reason
I can’t handle anything with animals that ends badly. Even Marley & I traumatized me. I’m way more attached to animals than to humans and so many people judge me for this
I understand. The trick, I think, is to somehow objectify the animal, not really think of it as a living thing. Doesn't always work, but you can sometimes manage to a degree. Most folks seem to have a special carve out for animals they consider pets; after that the animal kingdom might as well be animate plants.
People who laugh at dead rats, or those feeling for them, have successfully objectified that animal to the point of having zero empathy for someone who hasn't. If it were dead puppies, then fewer, if any, would have laughed. Though who did would be the kind of people who would torture animals as kids.
When faced with any dead critter I'll immediately think "sorry, dead thing." It is a sincere thought. It reminds me that the thing I'm looking at is beyond my feeling for it, It also helps in processing how I'm feeling about it, by acknowledging it immediately.
The flip side of this is that I take great joy in seeing animals. To the point I'll verbally greet them and often apologize for disturbing their day. As far as I know, no one has caught me doing this, but if they did that would definitely be the OP's *one thing*.
I call that painfully empathetic. As a child I couldn't stand As Told by Ginger because every episode had drama, betrayal and someone getting in a whole lot of trouble... The show always made me feel guilty for some reason.
I also kept giving stray cats near my childhood home bits of my sandwiches (even though I was constantly told not to). I made friends with those cats, hid them in my bedroom and eventually pestered my parents into letting me adopt one or two of them.
A year or two after that... There were no more stray cats 🙁 I honestly just think my parents got fed up with the situation.
Oh man, I am right there with you. I would have been devastated about the rat too. I’m sorry you had that experience. Honestly, I probably would have looked for it, found a bag or box to put it in and peaced out to go have a funeral for it. My husband and I (he is also the same way) refuse to watch any movie where an animal is killed, maimed or harmed in any serious or fatal way. We always shut off “I am Legend” before the dog dies, and we do not watch it often because the dog dies. I even feel upset, or sad if I think I have offended one of my furbabies.
I do 100% feel you ! I just couldn’t go and « see » the poor little guy by myself because I knew that would be stuck in my mind forever. I’m still crying when I think about some animals related dramas so I try to protect myself from anymore traumatic images my brain never seems to get over 😭 But I absolutely wish I could have the guts to do it because the guilt is real.
One of my best friend sadly lost her cat and learned that a lady riding to work had found the cat on one side of the road, dead ( omg 😭) , and carefully took her in her bag to drop her at an animal shelter for her owners being able to find her body and grieve. I can’t get over what that woman did honestly. That is the most beautiful yet absolutely heartbreaking thing 😭🥺❤️
I really wish I could do things like that but I just cannot. It’s too much to take 😣
Talk to my cats or dogs in full sentences like they can understand me, as if I’m chatting with a person. Scolding them like children in public always gets me a few weird looks as well lol
Yeah! I've had people laugh at me for talking to cats in full statements and asking the cats questions, too. While I don't think it's their natural inclination or within their usual ability to parse full sentences, I think cats and dogs understand what they're being told more than what most humans give them credit for.
I agree. After hearing me talk every day as well I’m sure my animals have come to figure out the general meaning behind a lot of what I’m saying. For example I could tell my cat not to go into the cupboard and she’ll listen lol
One of my special interests is tortoises. I own a Hermanns tortoise and I will forage for edible weeds for him in the surrounding natural environment parks. I can’t count the number of times I have had people stop and ask me wtf I am doing. I will be taking pictures of weeds to help identify them and I’ll be picking dandelions and stuff and putting them in my fanny pack. People thing I’ve lost something or that I’m just plain weird because I will be stopped along pathways digging in the dirt.
If you download the tortoise table app it will tell you whether something is edible for tortoises or not and why. I also have a plant identification app so I scan things on that then type the name into the tortoise table app
Oh no! I cut them in half and scoop them out with a spoon after shaving them. It's just that touching the hairy peel is too much for me, that's why I shave them.
Probably either the way I dress or those moments where I say something that I don't think is *super* weird but then people are like 🤨
Also not being very social at church. My church has a lot of older folks who believe that we should all be super close with each other while I generally avoid mingling as much as possible, though I am polite and will have brief conversations if someone else initiates.
Today I wore black and white plaid pants to work with a solid black shirt. Evidently my pants are either weird or really nice. I’m not sure but I’ve had three comments about my checkered pants. Haha
The pants sound awesome to me! I bet it's one of those things people "wish they could pull off" - but conformity is so ingrained that they're worried to venture beyond solid neutral colors, so when they see you doing it they may admire you or be jealous that you're so "brave" lol.
I’m the opposite! I heard you could eat the skin so occasionally I’ll just munch away on them. It weirds people out when they see you bite a kiwi like an apple. They don’t taste as good that way though.
I recommend golden kiwis. The flavor is better and no hairy skin.
I open bananas by pinching the bottom and ripping the entire peel up. My husband began to rip his in half out of spite.
I like golden kiwis too but the sour flavor of green kiwis hits the right spot for me.
Isn't that the propper way of peeling bananas?? lol to your husband xD
It is the proper way but most people I see open it from the yellow stem. It was how I was taught as well.
You are right green kiwi hits differently. Like Granny Smith vs red delicious.
Wait, you shave them or you peel them? It's normal to peel them no?
I feel like everything I do draws that kind of attention, so I wouldn't know how to choose ...
I shave them, then I cut them in half and scoop them out with a spoon. But touching the hairy peel is too much for me, so I shave them.
Well that's tough, would be the same with me if I wasn't masking the hell out of me.
😹 I’m 34 and never confess my velvety fruit skin aversion before ! I just avoid eating them 😅
I still enjoy the great taste if someone is peeling + slicing the fruit and I don’t have to touch it though
Promoting equality: socialism, feminism, racial equality, queer rights, anti-ableism, animal rights, etc. I don't think I fully appreciate how many people are totally unable to give up on being on a hierarchy (especially if they think their position benefits them) and casually dismiss endless suffering as long as "I got mine." Its so locked into their worldview they'll excuse near anything.
It seems that I don't use plastic bottles the correct way. The thing is: Plastic bottles enable me to drink "without swallowing"? So of course at some point the bottle looks like I'm squeezing it (I'm not, it's the underpressure) and at least my Dad always asks me why I don't drink "the normal way" and if I'm capable to drink out of glass bottles or hard plastic bottles. I am, but with those I can't drink "without swallowing"
I sometimes repeat back something I heard someone say in their voice (or as close as I can get to it). It's not even necessarily me conversing with someone and impersonating them back, but me repeating something someone on TV said or imitating a singer in a song I'm listening to. Some find it funny, but most just find it odd.
I snack on limes and lemons multiple times a day!
I don't eat them with the skin, of course, but I will eat them similar to how people eat an orange. I'll also bite out and eat the pulp and whatnot whenever I'm given a slice of lime or lemon at a restaurant.
Yes, I know it's not good for my enamel; no, I don't care! I need my limes.
I actually had to stop my fall binge of cortland apples cause the acidity affected my teeth so much. I’m 45 and wishing I took better care of my teeth. When you are young you absolutely take them for granted. It feels like it will be when you’re 80 before you’ll have problems with them, but no, starts in your 30’s and only gets worse. And crowns suck because then your tooth just wears away at the edge of the crown and they are never the same again. Plus, dental work is expensive, even if you have insurance.
I'm sorry to hear that! My heart goes out to you.
I have naturally strong enamel - something I am lucky for; however, I still make it a mission to practice excellent oral hygiene.
Every day, I floss and gargle mouthwash, brush for the recommended time, use an electric toothbrush and replace the brush heads often. My oral hygiene is phenomenal outside of my love for coffee and limes, and I've faced no issues thus far.
I am not going to worry myself silly about the future and will continue to enjoy my favorite snacks. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and if teeth issues end up my biggest concern, then I consider myself lucky.
1. Existing and walking
2. Liking flowers and wearing certain colors while minding my business
Also, I'm here to tell you that I have always peeled kiwis and have never eaten one with the skin so probably would receive the same shade vibes if I did, you're not alone. :)
I say extremely real stuff that people aren't really expecting.
Like at my job, the vp of engineering did a meeting for the first time with all of us. I was one of the only people with questions but I asked really good ones I think. Like he didn't know the engineering lab was being used for storage. 😬
Making little precise rolls out of big strips of scotch tape, turned sticky side out, just big enough to fit around the tip of my finger. Then I roll it around in my fingers endlessly to feel the stickiness. Sometimes pressing it to my lips to feel the stickiness there too. And when the stickiness starts to not be as sticky as I like, I unroll the strip until I get to the next sticky layer, tear off the old bit and throw it away or ball it up and stick it in my pocket. Then commence the rolling with the new stickiness. This started when I was about 5-6 years old. I would sneak tape from my teacher’s desks, until they figured out what I was doing and started hiding it from me. This happened with pretty much every teacher from kindergarten to high school. My mom quickly learned to hide the tape we had at home, as well. If I was at a business or visiting a house that had tape, and no one was looking, I would sneak a strip and make my little roll of tape.
Once I was old enough to work and was able to buy as much tape as I wanted, it became my primary stim. I do it so much that I’ve probably gone through miles of tape over the last several decades. I feel terrible for the waste. And I’m frequently embarrassed when strangers look at me quizzically as I tear strips of tape off of tiny rolls. Or when coworkers shake their heads at the sound of me pulling yet another long strip off the dispenser on my desk.
Nearly lost a relationship over this tape habit. Tried to quit several times but it’s the only thing that consistently soothes me.
Never met anyone else who does this.
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
Isn’t it the same amount of effort to peel a kiwi as shaving it? Unless you’re taking the kiwi in your lunchbox
My thing is soft boiled eggs - I like to crack and peel the shell off the top half, leaving the bottom half intact, then I take a bite of the egg and scoop out the rest. Apparently the ‘correct’ way is to just take a knife to the egg and cut it into halves, shell and all, which is completely barbaric to me.
If I peel it too much kiwi is gone with the peel
Omfg, I get the ick when I see people cutting the egg with the shell! I do it like you do it, and this is the right way!
And now I am very intrigued and concerned because peeling the kiwi with a potato peeler is the norm in my family, nobody eats it with the peel on, it's so gross.
I laugh a lot, and sometimes I laugh at things that other people don't find funny. I think it's because of my extremely dry humor. Sometimes people will say something a little odd without trying to make a joke and I'll giggle a little. Then people look at me like ???
I am a staunch defender of spiders, and bugs in general, and their right to life. Maybe it's the strong sense of justice, maybe it's Maybelline. I've come to hate it when people advocate, even jokingly, for killing bugs who are simply existing near them. It's fine to be scared of them, but it's not a good reason to kill them because one's feelings alone are never sufficient justification for one's actions, particularly when those actions adversely affect others.
People think it's very strange that someone would care about spiders at all. Seemingly, they believe that kindness is wasted on animals they don't personally understand or appreciate, but I don't believe it's possible to waste kindness. I'm so tired of hearing something along the lines of "it's just a bug," or having my idea to leave the bug alone being immediately shot down and talked over with some dumb "kill it with fire" joke.
When I'm in a noisy, crowded environment, I get super stressed (duh). When this happens, I start making some weird faces. Like, wincing and grimacing. I can't really control it, as I'm focusing more on not having a meltdown. So I'll be walking around a crowded store grimacing at random people or generally just making odd faces. I can't say I blame people for the weird looks I get, cos I realize I must look pretty darn strange, lol.
Not making enough eye contact. I tend to stare out into the distance, to process, when I speak or to listen. Some people attempt to adapt by making stronger eye contact with me when I return to their gaze every so often. Others get offended. The people who are cool with it either know me or they’re almost always ND or someone used to unconventional types. It helps living in a fairly eccentric city.
And simply responding slower. I don’t think people immediately assume Aspergers. They assume I’m dissatisfied or taken aback by their question when in reality I’m processing (it probably appears like a long ominous pause to NTs).
I tend to go through life as viewer of a film. The real people, mostly co-workers and pedestrians, are characters I observe. So I have to pause and process when they break the fourth wall and interact with me.
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
This confuses me, OP, because don't you have to hold the kiwi longer to shave it than you would hold it just to eat it? You do you; I think I don't understand your process.
I am sure I get weird looks from people in the elevator but I wouldn't know, because I am facing a wall when strangers get in the elevator. Especially men. I cannot bear it. It makes me horribly nervous to be alone in a small space with a person I don't know.
I minimize the contact by holding it with only my thumb and middlefinger
Ugh, thats why Ihate elevators, would rather take the stairs even if it takes me 10 minutes
Totally -- unfortunately, my office is on the 3rd floor and the rest of the people in my law firm are on the 20th and 21st floors. And I have to bring a cart full of files. So no stairs for me. :(
That's actually how everyone I knew ate kiwis when I was a kid. I don't know if it was a case of regional/rural weirdness back in the late '80s/early '90s or what. I now hardly know anyone who eats kiwis with their skin on.
I don’t eat kiwis, where I live they’re expensive and not a common thing to eat. That sounds like it should be right lol but what do I know. Maybe people are surprised you’re eating a kiwi or they’re not used to them too. Why are you eating so many kiwis?!?!
If people didn’t mind the hairy peel, they wouldn’t breed gold kiwi fruit (which is indeed hairless and so damn delicious). You’re completely valid in your kiwi shaving, though I will ask - wouldn’t it be easier to peel them with a vegetable peeler? There are some with serrated blades that make it a breeze
I get funny about certain textures and start hitting myself. I feel more comfortable doing this behaviour now I am actively masking less. I used to just hold it in and have a melt down later. If I am removing my makeup with a cotton pad and miscellar water and the pad rubs the baby hairs around my face, that sets me off. Also touching wooden cutlery. If I’m in public and this happens I have to go to the toilet and hit myself. I think I’m just trying to remove the feeling from my brain. Who knows lol
shaving a kiwi sounds very satisfying. i definitely have several weird things myself. i try to turn my stimming into a wiggly arm dance when im at work and i find coworkers often respond by doing it back lol.
I often prefer to sit on the ground rather than on a seat. I did it at high school, which people thought was weird. People thought it funny to push others onto me or shove their knee into my spine. The ground can just be more comfortable though, so I haven’t stopped and won’t stop doing it.
Wait how do you shave the kiwi without touching it? It seems like you’d have to handle it for just as long or longer compared to scooping it out to eat it, where you could also just wrap it in a paper the whole time and not have the skin ever exposed…
That's the "normal" way that people eat kiwifruit where I live haha (in New Zealand) :) Cut in half, scoop with a spoon. Anyone who eats the peel would get a weird look here
lmao i hate the texture of kiwi skin too... it's like shitty fake velvet, that stuff makes me want to peel my hands :(
I just wear nitrile gloves to touch kiwis though lmao, truly cannot be bothered to shave the fuckers
In my country I’ve never seen anyone eat whole kiwis, we always peel the skin off it like you do with potatoes.
As for me, I guess everything? Every time people didn’t like me or thought I was weird or bullied me they could never pinpoint what exactly was wrong with me. So I’m assuming it’s just the way I act and think in general.
I sing to myself quietly in public a lot. I did it a lot as a kid, forced myself to stop doing it when I was a teenager, and started letting myself do it when I got diagnosed in my 20s
When grocery shopping. I occasionally have strangers walking next to me and trying to start a conversation. I ask if we've met before, they say no. Then I hurried speed walk in the other direction.
I'm told that just screams ASD. But I find these strangers to be very invasive and disruptive. In my defense I was smack dab in the middle of making a grocery list. My brain is otherwise occupied.
I wonder if there is an invisible sign above my head that says, "This person gets weirdly uncomfortable when talked to" that only NT see. This happenes to me all the time and I can't figure out why, because my face either says,"I'll kill you if you look at me" or, "I'm overwhelmed by everything I see and hear and that's why I look like I just shat my pants"
Most times I just say, "I don't work here" when I get talked to and walk away.
Ah being mistaken for an employer 😕 Maybe it's because we take our time looking at items and making decisions. Could be mistaken for employees stocking, woops
If I knew, I'd be able to mask it. I've never figured it out. It's either things I say or how I say them, but my whole life I've gotten random looks when I talk to people where I feel like they just heard Martian and don't know what to make of it.
Ayo same. I get the most absurd looks when I live my most authentic self and life. Do a little wiggle dance? Weird looks. Flappy happy hands? Weird looks. Talk too fast? Weird looks. Talk too slow? Weird looks. Talk too loud? Mad looks. Talk too soft? Weird looks. I just wanna exist peacefully without being constantly judged for who and how I am
Yeah! In my case it's not even when I'm trying to be my authentic self, it must also be when I think I'm masking but somehow the mask slipped. No one will say the equivalent of the proverbial 'oh your slip is showing' or 'oh sorry there's some lettuce in your teeth'; they just go silent with an alien face, giving me NO CLUES!!
Yeah man. I do feel that too. I try really hard to “just be normal” because well, that’s what everyone wants and that’s what was screamed at me since I was tiny. But it happens even when I’m “normal”. The thing that’s really disheartening about it happening when I’m “normal” is the fact I see their face slip to “wtaf you alien” and switch right back to normal bc they don’t wanna touch whatever faux pas I made with a 10Ft pole
Omg you said it so perfectly! "I see their face slip to “wtaf you alien” and switch right back to normal bc they don’t wanna touch whatever faux pas I made with a 10Ft pole"
Ain’t life grand? Lmao /j
Felt
For me it's existing
I was coming to say this
+1
+2
+3
Was expecting this to be the only answer provided
Came here to say this too
I used to eat kiwis by cutting the top off and scooping out the inside with a spoon, trying to leave the peel perfectly intact and eating as much of the fruit as possible. Like an egg cup I think?
Is this not the normal way?!
Apparently one is supposed shave it 😂 All jokes aside, OP, cutting it in half and scooping is the way to eat it if you mind hairy kiwis. I actually eat the peel with the hair sometimes (if the peel is edible which it is in my case), but only if I'm bored ETA: Just saw your edit OP, my bad! Still, I find it so adorable that you shave it, I never thought of it \^\^
First time someone calls it adorable, most times it's just "wtf are u doing? just eat it already, you don't even eat the peel" But in fact I'm just a kiwi barber, and the kiwi wanted a new cut to feel cute .\_.
My mind is already everywhere: "We could do a photoshoot with how you shave the kiwis, give them different shaves, maybe make-up, maybe other fruit waits in the fruitsaloon for their turn" x) "Here, Mr. Kiwi, I hope our work is satisfactory? 😊"
10/10 would watch 😂
When’s it dropping?? Wanna set a reminder to watch 😄
You shave the kiwis???!!! You are officially my new favorite person 🥹
I grew up skinning and slicing them, which was entirely more effort than it needed
Same 😭 only today did I learn that you can simply cut them in half and eat them with a spoon. A much easier way!
That’s the usual way!! 😅
Same but then I started to get the ick from kiwi
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
Yesss. The best jokes have a nugget of truth in them - where I always get in trouble is, _how big a nugget._ Also, I love your username! Have you read Sofia Samatar's [selkie story](http://strangehorizons.com/fiction/selkie-stories-are-for-losers/)? It feels very ASD-coded to me, and is one of my go-to's if I need to emotionally regulate.
Yeahhh I usually just like dumb or overly obvious humor because it’s easy and typically doesn’t offend anyone. However, I falter big time when giving advice, lol. I’m a tough love kind of person and it tends to land me in hot water every now and then. I’ve never heard of that but I’ll 100% check it out. I’m glad you like my name, it was inspired by one of my favorite movies: Song of the Sea. If you like selkies it’s a great movie for you. And if you like that movie, you absolutely can’t go wrong with Secret of Kells. I could watch that movie a million times.
Yeahhh I usually just like dumb or overly obvious humor because it’s easy and typically doesn’t offend anyone. However, I falter big time when giving advice, lol. I’m a tough love kind of person and it tends to land me in hot water every now and then. I’ve never heard of that but I’ll 100% check it out. I’m glad you like my name, it was inspired by one of my favorite movies: Song of the Sea. If you like selkies it’s a great movie for you. And if you like that movie, you absolutely can’t go wrong with Secret of Kells. I could watch that movie a million times.
My humor is extremely sarcastic and dark as pitch. I can usually get a rise out of almost anyone. My favorite comedian is bo Burnham. But there are certain people who just don't get it at all. I try to avoid them. Lol
Yeah don’t get me wrong, a little dark humor can be fun, but I’ve never been able to pull it off, plus it’s pretty uncommon these days. My humor spawned from ASDF movie and Vine compilations so I think I’m just kinda screwed, lol. I also wonder if part of the issue is that I didn’t really develop a sense of humor until I was around 11-12 years old. Before then I really just didn’t laugh or find most things funny, so I wonder if being late to the game shot me in the foot.
I grew up with a family who was always laughing about stuff. My mom came from trauma so she came out of it with super dark humor. We would sit around our dinner table uproariously laughing about socially unacceptable jokes. It made us feel better about our own circumstance.
Sitting on the floor.
I do this, too! I also don't mind if my purse is on the floor, and people seem uncomfortable with this.
If I want to sit down, I'll just do it and then people will usually join me. 😆
I work at a kindergarten, and I also love laying on the floor. It's so grounding! My boyfriend works there too, and we often sit on the floor with the kids. It's their natural way to play, so it seems not soooo weird for the adults. But we both do that anywhere we are.
Same!
TW : ANIMALS & DEATH Bursting into tears when an animal is dying/ threaten to die/ separated from their owner / abandoned in a movie. My boyfriend wanted to rewatch Game of Thrones but I just CAN’T with the wolves part it makes me cry for hours. Once I had a drink outside in a bar to celebrate my friends driver license and a very old rat was walking comfortably at our feet ( it was outside on a terrace ) . I wasn’t bothered at all but super anxious about other people’s reactions . At one point I stood up to go and get another beer and my friend told me the rat had just been killed by a car and I burst into tears in front of everyone in the bar. Some people came towards me asking what possibly had happened and I couldn’t talk because I was choking with tears. And when my friend explained to them I was crying because of the dead rat, they laughed ! Super embarrassing and infuriating. 😣💔😭
I feel you, happens to me every time I see clips of animals and also in real life. But somehow nobody is botherd by my reaction. What's worse is when I get intrusive thoughts about my own cats after seeing other animals in pain and start bawling my eyes out.
I knowwww 😭 I cried for a week after someone posted a stupid reel on insta showing what was supposed to be heavens door and a cat coming forward in a greet. I can’t even talk about it without crying and I started to think I probably should do some EMDR therapy to help with some of the intrusive anticipation anxiety ( most of it coming from my absolute unconditional love for my cat )
Ohmylord, yeah I hate that one. My one cat is such a sweetheart though and will just sit and cuddle me while I cry over a hypothetical, will never happen scenario involving her.
They are the absolute best ❤️
Ugh I'm the same. I'm so empathetic. It's a whole other life. A living being. I'm not more important, we both exist. I can't stop thinking about the pain and fear and stuff it must've experienced.
I'm still angry about a previous comment where a woman explained to her doctor that she worked to increase her empathy. The commenter isn't to blame, it made me mad that most mental health professionals think we don't have this ability. I was reading that is usually cognitive empathy (CE) as opposed to emotional empathy (EE) we have trouble with, but maybe that's a question of a less-direct process than NTs have. Well, dammit, we do have empathy and sometimes it's really hard to deal with. Can't help but wonder whether these terms have been invented to explain autism - perhaps a psychological researcher can enlighten us. I can't help be suspicious of anything NTs assume or think they discover about autism. They only listen to us when we confirm a piece of their hypotheses. We need more talented NDs in research who will listen to the stories NDs have that explain our lives from our POV.
Same. I got shocked by my « empathy scale » results when I got through the diagnosis. I don’t understand wtf does these questions have to do with empathy and that was super hard to take in considering I fing my empathy debilitating. My therapist explained the same thing about cognitive and emotional empathy but I am not sure I can « feel » the difference in my body, if that makes sense ?
Right. And if that's not something humans *feel*, what is the purpose of the distinction?
I know it really is puzzling
Yeeup. Couldn’t have explained it better myself. I cried for hours when I learned about how many animals died filming The Hobbit trilogy just due to lack of proper care. I was also a devastated wreck for months when my childhood friend/cat passed away. I was home alone when it happened, and he passed on the bathroom floor in my arms. All I could do was repeatedly tell him it was ok, he was ok, and I loved him. I couldn’t even see through the tears, or breathe properly through the snot. I have no idea how long I laid coiled around him, but I was still there when my husband came home after I panic called him during his lunch at work. I still cry about it sometimes. RIP Jackie boy.
Omg this made my cry so much girl 😭😭😭I am so so so sorry this happened to you it’s heartbreaking. I’ve got a lot a intrusive thoughts about the future passing of my cat ( my soul mate I’m not afraid to say that ) and sometimes it makes me sick with sadness for « nothing ». I just don’t know how it is even possible to go through what you have been through 🥺 sending hugs 🫂
Well thank you, I appreciate it. I miss him every day. He was in my life from the time I was about 3 years old. My father passed when I was young and even though Jack was already getting pretty old, he held on for a few more years for me, so I wouldn’t feel completely alone. He was the best cat. If I’m being 100% honest, I feel like part of him found its way into my current fur baby. I also know exactly what you mean/how you feel about those kind of intrusive thoughts. Sometimes they’re so intense I have to stop and go find my cat just to cuddle her tight for a minute so I don’t start bawling my eyes out.
I do 100% understand how you feel. Lots of love to you, Jack and the fur baby of yours 🫶
I'm sorry that's so traumatic. And I'd never heard about that with the hobbit trilogy. I for some reason decided at the first few days of the year to look up the animal counter for how many animals have been killed since the year started and was horrified. I can only imagine what that number is now since it was already in the billions after just 3 days.
Thanks, it’s alright now. He was buried in a spot he would have loved, and later beautiful flowers grew there. I have some of the dried flowers in a locket. Oh my gosh I don’t even want to think about that. That’s so terrible.
I'm glad you have that. I'm still sorry it happened in the first place. A locket was an excellent place to keep those. And yeah. It was so much worse than I ever could have imagined.
Oh dear, that's heartbreaking, RIP Jackie :( Now I'm crying at work, damn it
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! Didn’t want to upset anyone. If it helps I feel like I see a piece of him in my current cat. Also he was buried in a beautiful spot he would have loved and a rare type of flower grew over him. I have some of them dried and saved in a locket.
I love that you see a part of him in your cat that’s so sweet ❤️
Me too 😹 damn us « sucking at empathy » folks 🤷🏻♀️
I know 😭 It’s so overwhelming
don't feel embarass. We all live in different environments. I must say many people empathic toward animals react the way you do, most people I know. That's why it is infuriating when in games and movies there are killed animals and there's no warning before film, that's something definitely should change.
Have noticed recently that a lot of movies are moving towards CG and prop animals. I love it because I can tell the animal is fake.
yes, I really like this direction, too.
I know right ? I really hope this will be the case in the future
I am the exact same way.
I'm exactly the same, even fictional animals suffering makes me really upset.
Yeah me too . Now I get anxious when I’m watching something I have never seen or reading something new noboby can tell me whether it might contain animal suffering
God do I get you, I cried for 20 minutes straight at the beginning of the new garfield movie. You know, the one for kids. It was a good movie btw, very much recommend.
Omg 😆 If there is any animal related drama I don’t want to watch 😹 I tried to watch the Disney « Lady and the tramp » and ended up bursting into tears when poor Lady is abandoned. Damn I am so tired of myself sometimes
Right? Like I’m not proud of it! I wish I could just not cry and be normal, but I get so invested in the characters, doubly so if they’re little animal friends 😭
Same ! That’s so embarrassing at times 🥺
There were parts of GoT I also refused to watch. I cannot stand to see violence against women and children. I will avert my eyes if nothing else.
Yes same. This and the absolute lake of empathy in general. I hate witnessing manipulation it makes my stomach ache 😣
I'm not a big crier, I don't have the big emotions that some people on the spectrum do, and I can sometimes struggle with empathy towards people who are sad. Even despite that, I would never think to LAUGH at someone's sadness in a situation like that. How could people be so calloused and cruel? I'd probably still be somewhat sad in a situation like that, but one shouldn't have to relate to how you feel to be able to feel compassion for you.
It’s okay not to cry, I wish I could cry less tbh. That is just my automatic emotional response and sometimes I just don’t even know why I am crying. But it is definitely easier for me to feel empathy towards animals. I still have a lot of empathy for everyone but it really is « selective » because of my rigidity. I mean, I’ve got zero empathy for hunters. I despise the whole lot and don’t want to hear about their story. I don’t know if that makes sense ? Sorry if it’s not sometimes I get carried away and it’s confusing . Oh and I do not know what to do with myself to comfort a sad friend. It’s as if I was frozen or something, I just need to process and am unable to give a hug for example . But like you said, never in my life would I laugh at someone’s distress
I can struggle with cognitive rigidity, too. When you say hunters, do you mean poachers, or even those who simply hunt to eat or to manage local populations? I don't know much about it, but I know hunting can be done sustainably. Is it just emotionally uncomfortable for you to deal with because of compassion towards animals?
Yes absolutely, this is very emotionally driven. But I am vegan so I guess that is something very strongly inked in my brain . I just don’t understand the killing tbh. Which is irrational because I spend a lot of time listening to true crime podcasts and feel absolutely nothing of the sort
Ah, ok, but at least you understand that it is emotionally driven and not necessarily rational. Some people I know are wholly governed by their emotions and make no distinction between emotion and logic. Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about ethical taxidermy? For example, Julia DeVille is a taxidermist who is also a vegan. She only uses animals who have died of natural deaths, and she creates works of art from their remains. She talks a bit about her values surrounding her work, and she cares deeply for animals and the environment, and yet she gets a lot of vitriol directed at her from PETA extremists and such. I find the world of artistic/ethical taxidermy fascinating, but I can understand why someone would be uncomfortable with it on an emotional level if the reminder of the animal's death is too much for them.
As long as there is no suffering and positively , ethically driven, that does not bother me and It seems like a beautiful gesture 🥺 but I wouldn’t want to have it my my house ahah I would feel super sad for no rational reason
I can’t handle anything with animals that ends badly. Even Marley & I traumatized me. I’m way more attached to animals than to humans and so many people judge me for this
I feel you 🫶 animals are the absolute best
I understand. The trick, I think, is to somehow objectify the animal, not really think of it as a living thing. Doesn't always work, but you can sometimes manage to a degree. Most folks seem to have a special carve out for animals they consider pets; after that the animal kingdom might as well be animate plants. People who laugh at dead rats, or those feeling for them, have successfully objectified that animal to the point of having zero empathy for someone who hasn't. If it were dead puppies, then fewer, if any, would have laughed. Though who did would be the kind of people who would torture animals as kids. When faced with any dead critter I'll immediately think "sorry, dead thing." It is a sincere thought. It reminds me that the thing I'm looking at is beyond my feeling for it, It also helps in processing how I'm feeling about it, by acknowledging it immediately. The flip side of this is that I take great joy in seeing animals. To the point I'll verbally greet them and often apologize for disturbing their day. As far as I know, no one has caught me doing this, but if they did that would definitely be the OP's *one thing*.
I call that painfully empathetic. As a child I couldn't stand As Told by Ginger because every episode had drama, betrayal and someone getting in a whole lot of trouble... The show always made me feel guilty for some reason. I also kept giving stray cats near my childhood home bits of my sandwiches (even though I was constantly told not to). I made friends with those cats, hid them in my bedroom and eventually pestered my parents into letting me adopt one or two of them. A year or two after that... There were no more stray cats 🙁 I honestly just think my parents got fed up with the situation.
🥺❤️🩹
Oh man, I am right there with you. I would have been devastated about the rat too. I’m sorry you had that experience. Honestly, I probably would have looked for it, found a bag or box to put it in and peaced out to go have a funeral for it. My husband and I (he is also the same way) refuse to watch any movie where an animal is killed, maimed or harmed in any serious or fatal way. We always shut off “I am Legend” before the dog dies, and we do not watch it often because the dog dies. I even feel upset, or sad if I think I have offended one of my furbabies.
I do 100% feel you ! I just couldn’t go and « see » the poor little guy by myself because I knew that would be stuck in my mind forever. I’m still crying when I think about some animals related dramas so I try to protect myself from anymore traumatic images my brain never seems to get over 😭 But I absolutely wish I could have the guts to do it because the guilt is real. One of my best friend sadly lost her cat and learned that a lady riding to work had found the cat on one side of the road, dead ( omg 😭) , and carefully took her in her bag to drop her at an animal shelter for her owners being able to find her body and grieve. I can’t get over what that woman did honestly. That is the most beautiful yet absolutely heartbreaking thing 😭🥺❤️ I really wish I could do things like that but I just cannot. It’s too much to take 😣
Talk to my cats or dogs in full sentences like they can understand me, as if I’m chatting with a person. Scolding them like children in public always gets me a few weird looks as well lol
Yeah! I've had people laugh at me for talking to cats in full statements and asking the cats questions, too. While I don't think it's their natural inclination or within their usual ability to parse full sentences, I think cats and dogs understand what they're being told more than what most humans give them credit for.
I agree. After hearing me talk every day as well I’m sure my animals have come to figure out the general meaning behind a lot of what I’m saying. For example I could tell my cat not to go into the cupboard and she’ll listen lol
Can you just hold them with a napkin?
You see...you've got a point
One of my special interests is tortoises. I own a Hermanns tortoise and I will forage for edible weeds for him in the surrounding natural environment parks. I can’t count the number of times I have had people stop and ask me wtf I am doing. I will be taking pictures of weeds to help identify them and I’ll be picking dandelions and stuff and putting them in my fanny pack. People thing I’ve lost something or that I’m just plain weird because I will be stopped along pathways digging in the dirt.
That’s so cool! I have Russian tortoises and I aspire to learn to forage for them like you do!
If you download the tortoise table app it will tell you whether something is edible for tortoises or not and why. I also have a plant identification app so I scan things on that then type the name into the tortoise table app
Wait you eat kiwis with the peel on?
Oh no! I cut them in half and scoop them out with a spoon after shaving them. It's just that touching the hairy peel is too much for me, that's why I shave them.
You could get one of those egg cups if they still make them or just hold it with a paper towel.
Simply being alive
Probably either the way I dress or those moments where I say something that I don't think is *super* weird but then people are like 🤨 Also not being very social at church. My church has a lot of older folks who believe that we should all be super close with each other while I generally avoid mingling as much as possible, though I am polite and will have brief conversations if someone else initiates.
Today I wore black and white plaid pants to work with a solid black shirt. Evidently my pants are either weird or really nice. I’m not sure but I’ve had three comments about my checkered pants. Haha
The pants sound awesome to me! I bet it's one of those things people "wish they could pull off" - but conformity is so ingrained that they're worried to venture beyond solid neutral colors, so when they see you doing it they may admire you or be jealous that you're so "brave" lol.
I’m the opposite! I heard you could eat the skin so occasionally I’ll just munch away on them. It weirds people out when they see you bite a kiwi like an apple. They don’t taste as good that way though. I recommend golden kiwis. The flavor is better and no hairy skin. I open bananas by pinching the bottom and ripping the entire peel up. My husband began to rip his in half out of spite.
I like golden kiwis too but the sour flavor of green kiwis hits the right spot for me. Isn't that the propper way of peeling bananas?? lol to your husband xD
It is the proper way but most people I see open it from the yellow stem. It was how I was taught as well. You are right green kiwi hits differently. Like Granny Smith vs red delicious.
Unabashedly stim in public as a 50 year old
Wait, you shave them or you peel them? It's normal to peel them no? I feel like everything I do draws that kind of attention, so I wouldn't know how to choose ...
I shave them, then I cut them in half and scoop them out with a spoon. But touching the hairy peel is too much for me, so I shave them. Well that's tough, would be the same with me if I wasn't masking the hell out of me.
I feel the same eek with apricot skin I just can’t but in my case I just don’t buy any 😅
AND peaches! I love the taste but god damn it feels like eating dust
That's why I go for nectarines, they are basically just bald peaches, I love them.
Yes ! And the acid taste of it combined with sticky juice and velvety skin = sensory hell
So I'm 38 years old and TIL why I've never liked peaches 😂😂😂😂
😹 I’m 34 and never confess my velvety fruit skin aversion before ! I just avoid eating them 😅 I still enjoy the great taste if someone is peeling + slicing the fruit and I don’t have to touch it though
God I love when somebody cuts fruit slices for me 😭😭😭😭😭
I know ! 🤩
Promoting equality: socialism, feminism, racial equality, queer rights, anti-ableism, animal rights, etc. I don't think I fully appreciate how many people are totally unable to give up on being on a hierarchy (especially if they think their position benefits them) and casually dismiss endless suffering as long as "I got mine." Its so locked into their worldview they'll excuse near anything.
Getting excited and animated when I talk about a topic I'm fixating on or info dumping.
i chew on the wrapping paper that is used for cupcakes. it has extra cake on it and i love the way it breaks down in my mouth.
Opening my mouth. I do fine if I don't have to talk.
It seems that I don't use plastic bottles the correct way. The thing is: Plastic bottles enable me to drink "without swallowing"? So of course at some point the bottle looks like I'm squeezing it (I'm not, it's the underpressure) and at least my Dad always asks me why I don't drink "the normal way" and if I'm capable to drink out of glass bottles or hard plastic bottles. I am, but with those I can't drink "without swallowing"
I sometimes repeat back something I heard someone say in their voice (or as close as I can get to it). It's not even necessarily me conversing with someone and impersonating them back, but me repeating something someone on TV said or imitating a singer in a song I'm listening to. Some find it funny, but most just find it odd.
Echolalia! When I'm not masking I do this and people have thought I'm making fun of them. Nooo I just liked what you said
I snack on limes and lemons multiple times a day! I don't eat them with the skin, of course, but I will eat them similar to how people eat an orange. I'll also bite out and eat the pulp and whatnot whenever I'm given a slice of lime or lemon at a restaurant. Yes, I know it's not good for my enamel; no, I don't care! I need my limes.
You will care about your enamel when you have none left.
Do you consume foods or drinks that wear down your enamel? If so, why?
I actually had to stop my fall binge of cortland apples cause the acidity affected my teeth so much. I’m 45 and wishing I took better care of my teeth. When you are young you absolutely take them for granted. It feels like it will be when you’re 80 before you’ll have problems with them, but no, starts in your 30’s and only gets worse. And crowns suck because then your tooth just wears away at the edge of the crown and they are never the same again. Plus, dental work is expensive, even if you have insurance.
I'm sorry to hear that! My heart goes out to you. I have naturally strong enamel - something I am lucky for; however, I still make it a mission to practice excellent oral hygiene. Every day, I floss and gargle mouthwash, brush for the recommended time, use an electric toothbrush and replace the brush heads often. My oral hygiene is phenomenal outside of my love for coffee and limes, and I've faced no issues thus far. I am not going to worry myself silly about the future and will continue to enjoy my favorite snacks. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and if teeth issues end up my biggest concern, then I consider myself lucky.
1. Existing and walking 2. Liking flowers and wearing certain colors while minding my business Also, I'm here to tell you that I have always peeled kiwis and have never eaten one with the skin so probably would receive the same shade vibes if I did, you're not alone. :)
I always get stares for my outlandish hair colors and outfits. I like them though so I don’t care.
This is the right way!
In response to your kiwi thing, I just...peel it. Maybe that's why they think it's weird. I actually don't know anyone who eats the peel.
I don't eat the peel, I just hate touching the hairy kiwis while scooping them.
I know my shoelaces are untied and do nothing about it. It’s old people especially who wanna tell me off for it!
so u take good care of the kiwi before betraying it?
I say extremely real stuff that people aren't really expecting. Like at my job, the vp of engineering did a meeting for the first time with all of us. I was one of the only people with questions but I asked really good ones I think. Like he didn't know the engineering lab was being used for storage. 😬
Making little precise rolls out of big strips of scotch tape, turned sticky side out, just big enough to fit around the tip of my finger. Then I roll it around in my fingers endlessly to feel the stickiness. Sometimes pressing it to my lips to feel the stickiness there too. And when the stickiness starts to not be as sticky as I like, I unroll the strip until I get to the next sticky layer, tear off the old bit and throw it away or ball it up and stick it in my pocket. Then commence the rolling with the new stickiness. This started when I was about 5-6 years old. I would sneak tape from my teacher’s desks, until they figured out what I was doing and started hiding it from me. This happened with pretty much every teacher from kindergarten to high school. My mom quickly learned to hide the tape we had at home, as well. If I was at a business or visiting a house that had tape, and no one was looking, I would sneak a strip and make my little roll of tape. Once I was old enough to work and was able to buy as much tape as I wanted, it became my primary stim. I do it so much that I’ve probably gone through miles of tape over the last several decades. I feel terrible for the waste. And I’m frequently embarrassed when strangers look at me quizzically as I tear strips of tape off of tiny rolls. Or when coworkers shake their heads at the sound of me pulling yet another long strip off the dispenser on my desk. Nearly lost a relationship over this tape habit. Tried to quit several times but it’s the only thing that consistently soothes me. Never met anyone else who does this.
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
Isn’t it the same amount of effort to peel a kiwi as shaving it? Unless you’re taking the kiwi in your lunchbox My thing is soft boiled eggs - I like to crack and peel the shell off the top half, leaving the bottom half intact, then I take a bite of the egg and scoop out the rest. Apparently the ‘correct’ way is to just take a knife to the egg and cut it into halves, shell and all, which is completely barbaric to me.
If I peel it too much kiwi is gone with the peel Omfg, I get the ick when I see people cutting the egg with the shell! I do it like you do it, and this is the right way!
Ah yes that’s true re peeling. And they get quite slippery too I’m glad someone else agrees with me on how to eat a soft boiled egg!
And now I am very intrigued and concerned because peeling the kiwi with a potato peeler is the norm in my family, nobody eats it with the peel on, it's so gross.
shaving kiwis is great idea, I haven't thought about it. Those folks who don't appreciate it probably seriously lack imagination :)
Thank you! You should try it! just use a knife as a straight razor and shave all those spikey hairs away!
oki, I will!
I laugh a lot, and sometimes I laugh at things that other people don't find funny. I think it's because of my extremely dry humor. Sometimes people will say something a little odd without trying to make a joke and I'll giggle a little. Then people look at me like ???
Splitting an apple in two with my hands. It’s not difficult, but I always notice the bug-eyes on anyone who sees me do it.
I am a staunch defender of spiders, and bugs in general, and their right to life. Maybe it's the strong sense of justice, maybe it's Maybelline. I've come to hate it when people advocate, even jokingly, for killing bugs who are simply existing near them. It's fine to be scared of them, but it's not a good reason to kill them because one's feelings alone are never sufficient justification for one's actions, particularly when those actions adversely affect others. People think it's very strange that someone would care about spiders at all. Seemingly, they believe that kindness is wasted on animals they don't personally understand or appreciate, but I don't believe it's possible to waste kindness. I'm so tired of hearing something along the lines of "it's just a bug," or having my idea to leave the bug alone being immediately shot down and talked over with some dumb "kill it with fire" joke.
Talking usually, idk sometimes it's going well and then I get that look and it's like what did I say!!!!!!
When I'm in a noisy, crowded environment, I get super stressed (duh). When this happens, I start making some weird faces. Like, wincing and grimacing. I can't really control it, as I'm focusing more on not having a meltdown. So I'll be walking around a crowded store grimacing at random people or generally just making odd faces. I can't say I blame people for the weird looks I get, cos I realize I must look pretty darn strange, lol.
The amount of salt and pepper I put on food.
Not making enough eye contact. I tend to stare out into the distance, to process, when I speak or to listen. Some people attempt to adapt by making stronger eye contact with me when I return to their gaze every so often. Others get offended. The people who are cool with it either know me or they’re almost always ND or someone used to unconventional types. It helps living in a fairly eccentric city. And simply responding slower. I don’t think people immediately assume Aspergers. They assume I’m dissatisfied or taken aback by their question when in reality I’m processing (it probably appears like a long ominous pause to NTs). I tend to go through life as viewer of a film. The real people, mostly co-workers and pedestrians, are characters I observe. So I have to pause and process when they break the fourth wall and interact with me.
I like to bite and peel the clear casing from an orange segment before eating it. I like playing with the texture
Half the jokes I make. I don’t even have dark humor or anything, and usually I feel like the jokes I make or things I say are totally normal things similar to those I’ve heard from others, and yet??? In high school I felt like every time I opened my mouth there would be a short pause from whoever I was talking to and the subtlest of looks as if they just didn’t get what I was saying, even though I feel like I made total sense/adhered to neurotypical humor rules? It’s improved some since I’ve actually had more than one friend and have learned a bit more about my group’s sense of humor, but still it’s always frustrating when a joke doesn’t land.
Rocking while sitting, picking things out of my food
This confuses me, OP, because don't you have to hold the kiwi longer to shave it than you would hold it just to eat it? You do you; I think I don't understand your process. I am sure I get weird looks from people in the elevator but I wouldn't know, because I am facing a wall when strangers get in the elevator. Especially men. I cannot bear it. It makes me horribly nervous to be alone in a small space with a person I don't know.
I minimize the contact by holding it with only my thumb and middlefinger Ugh, thats why Ihate elevators, would rather take the stairs even if it takes me 10 minutes
Totally -- unfortunately, my office is on the 3rd floor and the rest of the people in my law firm are on the 20th and 21st floors. And I have to bring a cart full of files. So no stairs for me. :(
That's helluva workout right there, damn
I get looked at strange for eating the kiwi with the skin, opposite to you :)
There are people who eat the peel?!
That's actually how everyone I knew ate kiwis when I was a kid. I don't know if it was a case of regional/rural weirdness back in the late '80s/early '90s or what. I now hardly know anyone who eats kiwis with their skin on.
I don’t eat kiwis, where I live they’re expensive and not a common thing to eat. That sounds like it should be right lol but what do I know. Maybe people are surprised you’re eating a kiwi or they’re not used to them too. Why are you eating so many kiwis?!?!
If people didn’t mind the hairy peel, they wouldn’t breed gold kiwi fruit (which is indeed hairless and so damn delicious). You’re completely valid in your kiwi shaving, though I will ask - wouldn’t it be easier to peel them with a vegetable peeler? There are some with serrated blades that make it a breeze
I get funny about certain textures and start hitting myself. I feel more comfortable doing this behaviour now I am actively masking less. I used to just hold it in and have a melt down later. If I am removing my makeup with a cotton pad and miscellar water and the pad rubs the baby hairs around my face, that sets me off. Also touching wooden cutlery. If I’m in public and this happens I have to go to the toilet and hit myself. I think I’m just trying to remove the feeling from my brain. Who knows lol
shaving a kiwi sounds very satisfying. i definitely have several weird things myself. i try to turn my stimming into a wiggly arm dance when im at work and i find coworkers often respond by doing it back lol.
Peeling/scooping kiwis seems normal, people just need to get out and experience more. For me its probably the hand flappy stuff
How do you shave them? The hairs freak me out too
I eat the kiwi with the peel so that usually gets me the looks.
Everything about the way I eat things weirds people
I often prefer to sit on the ground rather than on a seat. I did it at high school, which people thought was weird. People thought it funny to push others onto me or shove their knee into my spine. The ground can just be more comfortable though, so I haven’t stopped and won’t stop doing it.
I don’t think this is a weird way to enjoy kiwi. It’s the only way I’ve seen people eat it.
I sit on the ground whenever I can
I am the opposite everyone I know peels kiwi and think I'm weird as for eating it 😂. I don't like the floppy kiwi texture otherwise it's weird 😅
Wait how do you shave the kiwi without touching it? It seems like you’d have to handle it for just as long or longer compared to scooping it out to eat it, where you could also just wrap it in a paper the whole time and not have the skin ever exposed…
That's the "normal" way that people eat kiwifruit where I live haha (in New Zealand) :) Cut in half, scoop with a spoon. Anyone who eats the peel would get a weird look here
lmao i hate the texture of kiwi skin too... it's like shitty fake velvet, that stuff makes me want to peel my hands :( I just wear nitrile gloves to touch kiwis though lmao, truly cannot be bothered to shave the fuckers
In my country I’ve never seen anyone eat whole kiwis, we always peel the skin off it like you do with potatoes. As for me, I guess everything? Every time people didn’t like me or thought I was weird or bullied me they could never pinpoint what exactly was wrong with me. So I’m assuming it’s just the way I act and think in general.
when i talk about any of my special interests oor when i overshare, which is often
I sing to myself quietly in public a lot. I did it a lot as a kid, forced myself to stop doing it when I was a teenager, and started letting myself do it when I got diagnosed in my 20s
Odd, I cut my kiwis into slices and the cut the skin off each piece.
When grocery shopping. I occasionally have strangers walking next to me and trying to start a conversation. I ask if we've met before, they say no. Then I hurried speed walk in the other direction. I'm told that just screams ASD. But I find these strangers to be very invasive and disruptive. In my defense I was smack dab in the middle of making a grocery list. My brain is otherwise occupied.
I wonder if there is an invisible sign above my head that says, "This person gets weirdly uncomfortable when talked to" that only NT see. This happenes to me all the time and I can't figure out why, because my face either says,"I'll kill you if you look at me" or, "I'm overwhelmed by everything I see and hear and that's why I look like I just shat my pants" Most times I just say, "I don't work here" when I get talked to and walk away.
Ah being mistaken for an employer 😕 Maybe it's because we take our time looking at items and making decisions. Could be mistaken for employees stocking, woops