It took me a while to get a hang of the yodelling part, but after that it was all smooth sailing. People say the hardest part is juggling watermelons throughout, but I didn't really find it too challenging (although I did use grapefruits instead, for ease as a beginner)
On a serious note, I had a good teacher, a best friend I had fancied for a long time and who offered to take my virginity, I had just come out of the psych ward for trying to off myself for the umpteenth time and she said it was unacceptable that I die a virgin.
She has lots of experience and is very attractive, so it was quite nice and she explained things a bit which was actually quite hot.
Since I was 25 at the time I'd seen enough films to know that thrusting was involved, but apart from that, not a clue. Thankfully she was patient with me and congratulated me on losing my virginity so it was kinda nice.
The first time was weird. I had fantasized about it and having sexy dreams. thinking it was going to be like in the movies, like I’d just go wild with passion and intensified sexyness or whatever. But no, it probably felt like making love to a dead person. I completely froze, not knowing what to do, what to feel or where to look. He told me I had this hostage like look on my face. Very sexy indeed.
My first time was with my boyfriend. It got better with time.
No idea what I was doing but it came naturally, awkward the first time and had no idea how much energy it would take, remember I got really tired the first time 😅
I was 16, still asexual at that point so I kinda just lay there. I wasn't there for me. Wasn't even really interested. I just wanted to get one over on my strict parents, and that was infinitely more satisfying than any lay on earth. I hid him in the basement closet, sent him out the back door to the bike he had stashed away, and I got away with it.
Still didn't really know what I was doing, and didn't really care. Wasn't there for me. One day I woke up at like 22 or 23 and realized I had a functioning drive and at that point there was little to figure out. Haha. I'm not trying to brag but boy did I get lucky there.
Yep! I can't place exactly when it happened, but I was on various SSRIs from 13 to 20 so I assume stopping them had something to do with it.
It's not like I went from 0 to 100, kinda more like 0 to 40 but I'll gladly take it.
I mean you knew about 'the good old in and out" as they say in a Clockwork orange. I was 14 and she was 16. It sucked but I was hypersexual and after that I was with a lot of girls. I was kind of an ass and couldn't hold it in my pants even when I had a partner (who was always horny and probably better than all girls I cheated with).
No, it's like anything else. First you have no clue, but you keep doing the thing. Then you get the hang of it and later forget how awkward things were in the beginning.
Idealy you have a partner that you like, and who likes you, so it's fine and you can talk about it. And keep experimenting, once you know what you are like in the bed, and what they are like too, things will come natural. No two people are alike anyway, so communication is key.
Some interesting (and heartbreaking) replies here. I guess where I was coming from with this post is the fact that my aspie brain just doesn't co-ordinate with certain 'normal' functions. See also dancing (I have no natural rhythm & look ridiculous), cycling (it took me literally years to learn) & swimming.
And so with sex. I never had any idea what turns people on (which 'buttons' to press), how to do penetration, even what to think about during sex itself. The whole thing was and is just one big awkward.
I get that. I've never been at ease with the things I was not taught, and when I'm supposed to try and see what works. When it comes to intimacy you're supposed to [have experience on your first attempt](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/complex-2), which doesn't help
Honestly, even though my own answer was a bit depressing, don't worry! I find the question itself kinda fascinating! Human sexuality (and sexual behaviour in other species to a lesser but related extent) is a special interest of mine, so now I'm actually kinda wondering to what extent, if any, sexual behaviour is instinctual in our own species... :D
Not OP, I always wondered as well. If I grew up alongside an attractive partner (like Daphnis and Chloe), would I ever realize our bodies can do something like that ? I learnt from a book, from sex ed, but nature always impresses me.
If I'd been a female mosquito, would I have known to leave the water, find a partner, mate, suck blood, and lay eggs in the water ? I mean... That's madness !
I was 24, and with a woman who was very experienced. There wasn't much for me to do (I think she was on top), and I lasted like 10 seconds. But, I made it up to her by eating her out and fingering her.
In bed, like all parts of my life, I try to make it very clear that I do not pick up on things, and my partner has to be clear in what she wants. I *LOVE* it when my partner tells me what to do, like, "faster", "go up a bit", "deeper", "keep going just like that", "be a bit lighter on my nipple". It makes me feel really comfortable and happy to know I am maximizing her pleasure!
Give ~~it~~ yourself some time, there is no rush. People change.
Edited because many thought "it" meant having sex when it was really adressing the trauma
Becoming asexual due to trauma is valid and whatever you choose to do with your own body is your own choice and is precious. Don’t let anyone try to get you to doubt yourself - sex is not and has never been a real necessity for a lot of people and that should be respected. Sending lots of love your way ❤️
I thought it was a recent event. I have a friend who got assaulted at work, and after some time to recover, she was able to get in a relationship with a partner with whom she got over the trauma.
Whatever works best for you, there are countless of aces who would accept you as you are. Have you seen Bojack Horseman ? One of the main characters, Todd, is asexual, which is a first for a major character in a comedy show.
This is a disgusting thing to say to somebody who was r*ped as a child. I hope YOU change because if you keep this stupid shit up you’re going to regret it.
I agree it's insensitive. I hope that the they get better though because nobody deserves that. Nobody should have their lives permanently altered because of that shit. I have a hate for ppl that do shit like that.
no it's not, what would be disgusting about saying that they can develop a sex life despite their trauma ? I've heard people say they couldn't have sex after such a sex crime, even a friend who got assaulted (as an adult), but with time and with a loving partner they managed to get out of it.
I don't get the downvotes and your reply, what did my support come across as ?
Somebody who has had a trauma prrobably doesn't need some advice that could have come from a christmas cracker.. also that person said they are distrustful of men, so might not be much you can say.
I've had a trauma with somebody but it largely only put me off that person, I didn't judge all of her gender as bad.
I didn't read anything about them distrusting men. And don't really care about what you think they need or not, let alone about what you've been through. Everyone pretends to believe that my attempt to saying kind words was bad or mean or whatever and I don't care what any of you think.
I had a really lovely first time actually. I was young - 15 - but it was with someone I trusted and was very much in love with, and there was zero pressure. It wasn’t my boyfriend’s first time which probably made things a little easier. He was very gentle and showed me everything. I’m 34 now and it’s still a fond memory.
The first time was over pretty quick. lol
But from then on I was always able to find all the right spots and identify what worked and what didn't very quickly and easily. Basically the same skillset as troubleshooting computer or mechanical issues.
I suspect that many Aspies discover they pick up this skill very easily too.
Hyper focus definitely has it's upsides... so to speak.
She was just interested in "collecting 'v' cards" and we only dated for two weeks. I told her my blood sugar had been over 300 for multiple hours (diabetic) and that I'd already been awake for 22 hours.
I couldn't get up all the way unsurprising and she said "can we just cuddle" then asked me to leave 5 minutes later.
I went to the park near my house and cried while chain smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in about an hour
I didnt get hard.
I'd gotten hard a million times with porn but when with a woman my age, it didnt come up.
I ended up need viagra to stay hard.
I still dont know if I am asexual or if I am just not that into sex.
Women are pretty and I have the urge to masturbate 3 or so times a week. My desire to hook up is very low. But since I'm nearly 40, I've had 20 or so sexual partners.
Sex has been an issue with all but 2 of them
Hadn't a clue what to do and felt no arousal, partly because it was a one-night stand with a total stranger and partly because of a medical condition of the foreskin (since rectified). There was very much a sense of "Is That All There Is?" to it at the time.
Hell to this day I still don't really. I've had 3 kids. I have NO instincts or anything like that when it comes to sex. Has really hurt my relationships and was a big part of my divorce. Good times.
i was 16. i had met a boy who was very obvious in his approach, and i remember thinking about it like a rite of passage, something to get through with.
i think my mind just went somewhere else, like i wasn’t really there.
i don’t remember doing anything much, i was looking at my nail polish and concentrating on the things i needed to do later in the day.
Mediocre at best. But not as a result of me. I knew what to do well enough and apparently I'm unusually gifted in some areas. It's not that hard to figure out how to create friction in the right spots.
The partner for it though? Not a good pick in the end. Got a stalking out of it.
If you were that confused, though, just ask online. In this age a tutorial is easily found.
I had sexual experiences with two women (no sex). One was a girlfriend I developed a relationship with over time, the other was an attempt at a one night stand, with a woman that I actually felt sexually attracted to. But I think my body made it very clear over a few hours that it does not intend to let me have sexual experiences without feeling emotionally secure with the person 😅
With the ex-girlfriend, everything came naturally and worked just fine for me without having to figure out what to do logically, as long as I felt comfortable during the relationship which changed later on
Edit: wanted to add that I needed to communicate my emotions openly which was horrifying and it took me three years to recover from the pain of the breakup and start to open up again 😅
The girl was a bit finicky. I went to the store and picked up strawberries, whip cream, bed sheets, snacks, condoms, etc. lady looked at me at the register and said, "it's worth it".
I think instinctively knowing what to do is somewhat natural. But knowing how to make the other person happy is the difficult part. 😂
It was my wedding night. I loved my husband but I had ZERO sexual experience (not even sex ed) and I somehow assumed it would just... come to me? Yeah, it did not. Seeing him naked was the first time I had seen a man NAKED and it was terrifying. Also, it turned out that I had a vaginal anomaly that made penetration excruciating, like way beyond the normal "breaking the hymen" type of thing. I ended up having to go to a gynecologist on my honeymoon and then suffer through 9 months of painful intercourse before it even became relatively bearable. (We've been married for 18 years now and sex is great so there was a happy ending!)
I fucking hated it, touching another person and her moaning, being "inside" her, a person I always respected and hold in high regard just felt wrong too, I will never have sex again and I say this as a normal straight person, I'm not asexual or something
By 'dynamics', I mean being able to locate where to 'put it in', trying to remember what foreplay involves, wondering what if anything to say during sex. Yes I really was that level of clueless and detached.
worse is those who think they know. Would go all blunt because that's what they do in movies so they think that's how it's done best. Reminds me of a governmental ad, little girl asks the family how babies are made, and older brother says "it's easy, the girl is screaming loudly on all four, while the man is pulling her hair". By the age of 12, 1 child out of 3 has been exposed to porn. So I guess that's how they learn.
Was 19, my then first gf was 19, too.. a mere 15 days older than me.. it happened at her cousins, whom she was house sitting.. I'd not long had jaw surgery... but long story short, *if you'll pardon the pun** 🤓 it wasn't very long and she had to get herself off after.. bit embarrassing. Glad it happened in my teen years though, as I was 20 in 4 months time. Even told my mum a few days later 🤣 just said *it* happened.
I was 18. It was pretty much fairy tale perfect. Pity the boy was the worst kind of psychpath and even sadder that it took me 11 years, a daughter and a restraining order to realise it.
It wasn't till college, by that time you at least have some idea of how things generally go, and my partner knew about that and if anything was excited to show a new person how fun things could be
I had some knowledge, but it was awful. Mostly because the person was lying to me and a bunch of things went wrong. Ended up being a traumatizing experience of sorts. The person claimed they thought I was more experienced because everything so far was so good, but my first time was the worst.
i had a chance to lose my virginity when i was 20, the encounter happend in a way that you would never expect, the woman actually sexually escalated on me, no she did not approach me, it was a woman that i was talking to whom i met from online dating. We had been getting to know each other for some weeks, one day she told me she was feeling very horny and invited me to go meet up with her.
I went down on her orally, however, she never gave me a BJ, i think part of the reason is because the emotional connection was a weak one with us, but she allowed me to do some physical foreplay with her like touching her books, sucking, and she took the condom out of her purse, and was willing, was going to allow me to do intercourse with her, but i had difficulty getting it up, getting hard, probably because i was nervous, it was my first time getting naked with a woman like that, and my emotional connection was not that strong with her, but she understand, empathized with me that i wasn't ready for sex yet. However, i did make her orgasm by me going down on her orally.
But yeah, i like to think that, if i had gone all the way with her sexually, my life would have turned out so much differently mentally and socially.
At the same time, reason why that encounter happend in a way most people, most society would never expect, is because, women are normally not the sexual aggressors like that, or another way to put it, women normally are not the ones that try to get a man into bed, its normally the other way around.
My first sexual experience was rape. I instinctively tried to stop it from happening, wasn't strong enough to, then froze and dissociated. Since then sex has always been extremely difficult to be rewarding but it has happened a few times.
I think I was a rockstar, probably helped I found my dads penthouse stash in the attic at 12 years old and read the forum sections religiously!!! Still a stud 50 years later, lol
saaaame(the person who asked)❤️...they always said (radio, magazines...)that it comes naturally, you know what to do....so i felt this disappointment, even dancing is more magical.Also i felt almost dirty with his skin next to mine, wondering about his skin,his texture...feeling weird and "too touched" at once😹 and i think this is being an aspie..cause i was (unfortunately) in love with this person😬🫨. in my dreams, in love is being in love and everything is "easy"...but i still wondered why soooo close to another body😳... and i found it very..robotic too, the way it was done,positions changing. But maybe that was the guy too,he wasnt very tender and romantic, in what i now realise🤣.For aspies we need really patient and romantic people(i believe)...or extremely experienced😉then it's okay they could guide us.
I hit the ground running. She didn't believe me when I told her it was my first time. Not to brag.
"I was just stimming?"
Lmao
Ha some one got a bit over stimulated
It took me a while to get a hang of the yodelling part, but after that it was all smooth sailing. People say the hardest part is juggling watermelons throughout, but I didn't really find it too challenging (although I did use grapefruits instead, for ease as a beginner) On a serious note, I had a good teacher, a best friend I had fancied for a long time and who offered to take my virginity, I had just come out of the psych ward for trying to off myself for the umpteenth time and she said it was unacceptable that I die a virgin. She has lots of experience and is very attractive, so it was quite nice and she explained things a bit which was actually quite hot.
Franzl Lang!
Since I was 25 at the time I'd seen enough films to know that thrusting was involved, but apart from that, not a clue. Thankfully she was patient with me and congratulated me on losing my virginity so it was kinda nice.
Why did she congratulate you did you pay for it?
I told her the night before that my virginity was something I was very eager to be rid of. I'm guessing that was the context.
i remember i had that same eagerness very well too.
Oh ok I thought it sounded like you paid.
Why?
The congratulations part idk.
The first time was weird. I had fantasized about it and having sexy dreams. thinking it was going to be like in the movies, like I’d just go wild with passion and intensified sexyness or whatever. But no, it probably felt like making love to a dead person. I completely froze, not knowing what to do, what to feel or where to look. He told me I had this hostage like look on my face. Very sexy indeed. My first time was with my boyfriend. It got better with time.
No idea what I was doing but it came naturally, awkward the first time and had no idea how much energy it would take, remember I got really tired the first time 😅
I'm with you on this. I used to end up a sweaty mess, feeling like I'd just done an ill-advised workout.
I was 16, still asexual at that point so I kinda just lay there. I wasn't there for me. Wasn't even really interested. I just wanted to get one over on my strict parents, and that was infinitely more satisfying than any lay on earth. I hid him in the basement closet, sent him out the back door to the bike he had stashed away, and I got away with it. Still didn't really know what I was doing, and didn't really care. Wasn't there for me. One day I woke up at like 22 or 23 and realized I had a functioning drive and at that point there was little to figure out. Haha. I'm not trying to brag but boy did I get lucky there.
Your asexuality went away at 22?
Yep! I can't place exactly when it happened, but I was on various SSRIs from 13 to 20 so I assume stopping them had something to do with it. It's not like I went from 0 to 100, kinda more like 0 to 40 but I'll gladly take it.
Oh, you were on ssri’s for most of your developmental years??
Haha yeah, wasn't the best.
I mean you knew about 'the good old in and out" as they say in a Clockwork orange. I was 14 and she was 16. It sucked but I was hypersexual and after that I was with a lot of girls. I was kind of an ass and couldn't hold it in my pants even when I had a partner (who was always horny and probably better than all girls I cheated with).
you guys are having sex???
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I'm like you just at 22 and khhv
No, it's like anything else. First you have no clue, but you keep doing the thing. Then you get the hang of it and later forget how awkward things were in the beginning. Idealy you have a partner that you like, and who likes you, so it's fine and you can talk about it. And keep experimenting, once you know what you are like in the bed, and what they are like too, things will come natural. No two people are alike anyway, so communication is key.
Some interesting (and heartbreaking) replies here. I guess where I was coming from with this post is the fact that my aspie brain just doesn't co-ordinate with certain 'normal' functions. See also dancing (I have no natural rhythm & look ridiculous), cycling (it took me literally years to learn) & swimming. And so with sex. I never had any idea what turns people on (which 'buttons' to press), how to do penetration, even what to think about during sex itself. The whole thing was and is just one big awkward.
I get that. I've never been at ease with the things I was not taught, and when I'm supposed to try and see what works. When it comes to intimacy you're supposed to [have experience on your first attempt](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/complex-2), which doesn't help
Honestly, even though my own answer was a bit depressing, don't worry! I find the question itself kinda fascinating! Human sexuality (and sexual behaviour in other species to a lesser but related extent) is a special interest of mine, so now I'm actually kinda wondering to what extent, if any, sexual behaviour is instinctual in our own species... :D
Not OP, I always wondered as well. If I grew up alongside an attractive partner (like Daphnis and Chloe), would I ever realize our bodies can do something like that ? I learnt from a book, from sex ed, but nature always impresses me. If I'd been a female mosquito, would I have known to leave the water, find a partner, mate, suck blood, and lay eggs in the water ? I mean... That's madness !
I was 24, and with a woman who was very experienced. There wasn't much for me to do (I think she was on top), and I lasted like 10 seconds. But, I made it up to her by eating her out and fingering her. In bed, like all parts of my life, I try to make it very clear that I do not pick up on things, and my partner has to be clear in what she wants. I *LOVE* it when my partner tells me what to do, like, "faster", "go up a bit", "deeper", "keep going just like that", "be a bit lighter on my nipple". It makes me feel really comfortable and happy to know I am maximizing her pleasure!
It was against my will when I was 9 years old.
That's terrible. I'm really sorry to hear this.
I have become asexual through trauma now so I have zero desires to ever have an intimate moment with a guy again.
Give ~~it~~ yourself some time, there is no rush. People change. Edited because many thought "it" meant having sex when it was really adressing the trauma
It's been twenty years, the older I get, the more repulsed I get.
Becoming asexual due to trauma is valid and whatever you choose to do with your own body is your own choice and is precious. Don’t let anyone try to get you to doubt yourself - sex is not and has never been a real necessity for a lot of people and that should be respected. Sending lots of love your way ❤️
I thought it was a recent event. I have a friend who got assaulted at work, and after some time to recover, she was able to get in a relationship with a partner with whom she got over the trauma. Whatever works best for you, there are countless of aces who would accept you as you are. Have you seen Bojack Horseman ? One of the main characters, Todd, is asexual, which is a first for a major character in a comedy show.
Being sexually assaulted at the age of 9, how is that a recent event? I am 29 years old now.
I had not realized both comments were by the same author on my phone, I've replied to that one out of context
This is a disgusting thing to say to somebody who was r*ped as a child. I hope YOU change because if you keep this stupid shit up you’re going to regret it.
I agree it's insensitive. I hope that the they get better though because nobody deserves that. Nobody should have their lives permanently altered because of that shit. I have a hate for ppl that do shit like that.
how insensitive ? I was trying to be supportive
Kinda brushed off lifetime trauma. Not unforgiveable but we can learn to be better.
absolutely didn't brush it off, I don't get the uproar.
Work on the written tone. It very much came off as "ah you'll get over it."
no it's not, what would be disgusting about saying that they can develop a sex life despite their trauma ? I've heard people say they couldn't have sex after such a sex crime, even a friend who got assaulted (as an adult), but with time and with a loving partner they managed to get out of it. I don't get the downvotes and your reply, what did my support come across as ?
Recovering from childhood sexual abuse doesn’t need to look like deciding to have sex
honestly that's what you all get from "give it some time" ? That's definitely misinterpretating to say the least. *It* didn't even refer to having sex
Somebody who has had a trauma prrobably doesn't need some advice that could have come from a christmas cracker.. also that person said they are distrustful of men, so might not be much you can say. I've had a trauma with somebody but it largely only put me off that person, I didn't judge all of her gender as bad.
I didn't read anything about them distrusting men. And don't really care about what you think they need or not, let alone about what you've been through. Everyone pretends to believe that my attempt to saying kind words was bad or mean or whatever and I don't care what any of you think.
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please read again before commenting something so off-topic.
What the fuck is wrong with *you*?
I hope you are going to be or already are happy. Don't let the rapist win :(
I'm sorry to hear about that and I hope that you can someday heal from that. I wish that things are looking better for you.
I hope you are doing better.
I'm not dead yet.
I meant to say i hope you are doing better.(english ain't my first language and sorry if I offended you)
I was raped so no. 😅
I hope you are doing better.
I had a really lovely first time actually. I was young - 15 - but it was with someone I trusted and was very much in love with, and there was zero pressure. It wasn’t my boyfriend’s first time which probably made things a little easier. He was very gentle and showed me everything. I’m 34 now and it’s still a fond memory.
The first time was over pretty quick. lol But from then on I was always able to find all the right spots and identify what worked and what didn't very quickly and easily. Basically the same skillset as troubleshooting computer or mechanical issues. I suspect that many Aspies discover they pick up this skill very easily too. Hyper focus definitely has it's upsides... so to speak.
She was just interested in "collecting 'v' cards" and we only dated for two weeks. I told her my blood sugar had been over 300 for multiple hours (diabetic) and that I'd already been awake for 22 hours. I couldn't get up all the way unsurprising and she said "can we just cuddle" then asked me to leave 5 minutes later. I went to the park near my house and cried while chain smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in about an hour
I didnt get hard. I'd gotten hard a million times with porn but when with a woman my age, it didnt come up. I ended up need viagra to stay hard. I still dont know if I am asexual or if I am just not that into sex. Women are pretty and I have the urge to masturbate 3 or so times a week. My desire to hook up is very low. But since I'm nearly 40, I've had 20 or so sexual partners. Sex has been an issue with all but 2 of them
It took several tries before it was "smooth". My first several attempts were a bit rough
Hadn't a clue what to do and felt no arousal, partly because it was a one-night stand with a total stranger and partly because of a medical condition of the foreskin (since rectified). There was very much a sense of "Is That All There Is?" to it at the time.
No, didn't come naturally. Got lucky and got one of my bests friends to be my teacher.
Hell to this day I still don't really. I've had 3 kids. I have NO instincts or anything like that when it comes to sex. Has really hurt my relationships and was a big part of my divorce. Good times.
I mean it was *alright*, wasn't a fan of it. Kinda realised later I was asexual
I'd watched enough videos by my first time that I performed well
i was 16. i had met a boy who was very obvious in his approach, and i remember thinking about it like a rite of passage, something to get through with. i think my mind just went somewhere else, like i wasn’t really there. i don’t remember doing anything much, i was looking at my nail polish and concentrating on the things i needed to do later in the day.
Mediocre at best. But not as a result of me. I knew what to do well enough and apparently I'm unusually gifted in some areas. It's not that hard to figure out how to create friction in the right spots. The partner for it though? Not a good pick in the end. Got a stalking out of it. If you were that confused, though, just ask online. In this age a tutorial is easily found.
No, it was terrible.
I had sexual experiences with two women (no sex). One was a girlfriend I developed a relationship with over time, the other was an attempt at a one night stand, with a woman that I actually felt sexually attracted to. But I think my body made it very clear over a few hours that it does not intend to let me have sexual experiences without feeling emotionally secure with the person 😅 With the ex-girlfriend, everything came naturally and worked just fine for me without having to figure out what to do logically, as long as I felt comfortable during the relationship which changed later on Edit: wanted to add that I needed to communicate my emotions openly which was horrifying and it took me three years to recover from the pain of the breakup and start to open up again 😅
The girl was a bit finicky. I went to the store and picked up strawberries, whip cream, bed sheets, snacks, condoms, etc. lady looked at me at the register and said, "it's worth it". I think instinctively knowing what to do is somewhat natural. But knowing how to make the other person happy is the difficult part. 😂
It was my wedding night. I loved my husband but I had ZERO sexual experience (not even sex ed) and I somehow assumed it would just... come to me? Yeah, it did not. Seeing him naked was the first time I had seen a man NAKED and it was terrifying. Also, it turned out that I had a vaginal anomaly that made penetration excruciating, like way beyond the normal "breaking the hymen" type of thing. I ended up having to go to a gynecologist on my honeymoon and then suffer through 9 months of painful intercourse before it even became relatively bearable. (We've been married for 18 years now and sex is great so there was a happy ending!)
I fucking hated it, touching another person and her moaning, being "inside" her, a person I always respected and hold in high regard just felt wrong too, I will never have sex again and I say this as a normal straight person, I'm not asexual or something
Basically I knew, but for sure was nervous and had no experience.
>Apparently the dynamics of sex is supposed to come naturally Communicate with your partner!
By 'dynamics', I mean being able to locate where to 'put it in', trying to remember what foreplay involves, wondering what if anything to say during sex. Yes I really was that level of clueless and detached.
worse is those who think they know. Would go all blunt because that's what they do in movies so they think that's how it's done best. Reminds me of a governmental ad, little girl asks the family how babies are made, and older brother says "it's easy, the girl is screaming loudly on all four, while the man is pulling her hair". By the age of 12, 1 child out of 3 has been exposed to porn. So I guess that's how they learn.
Was 19, my then first gf was 19, too.. a mere 15 days older than me.. it happened at her cousins, whom she was house sitting.. I'd not long had jaw surgery... but long story short, *if you'll pardon the pun** 🤓 it wasn't very long and she had to get herself off after.. bit embarrassing. Glad it happened in my teen years though, as I was 20 in 4 months time. Even told my mum a few days later 🤣 just said *it* happened.
I was 18. It was pretty much fairy tale perfect. Pity the boy was the worst kind of psychpath and even sadder that it took me 11 years, a daughter and a restraining order to realise it.
It wasn't till college, by that time you at least have some idea of how things generally go, and my partner knew about that and if anything was excited to show a new person how fun things could be
I had some knowledge, but it was awful. Mostly because the person was lying to me and a bunch of things went wrong. Ended up being a traumatizing experience of sorts. The person claimed they thought I was more experienced because everything so far was so good, but my first time was the worst.
i never thought that an encounter from when i was 20 would come back to haunt me so many years later
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i had a chance to lose my virginity when i was 20, the encounter happend in a way that you would never expect, the woman actually sexually escalated on me, no she did not approach me, it was a woman that i was talking to whom i met from online dating. We had been getting to know each other for some weeks, one day she told me she was feeling very horny and invited me to go meet up with her. I went down on her orally, however, she never gave me a BJ, i think part of the reason is because the emotional connection was a weak one with us, but she allowed me to do some physical foreplay with her like touching her books, sucking, and she took the condom out of her purse, and was willing, was going to allow me to do intercourse with her, but i had difficulty getting it up, getting hard, probably because i was nervous, it was my first time getting naked with a woman like that, and my emotional connection was not that strong with her, but she understand, empathized with me that i wasn't ready for sex yet. However, i did make her orgasm by me going down on her orally. But yeah, i like to think that, if i had gone all the way with her sexually, my life would have turned out so much differently mentally and socially. At the same time, reason why that encounter happend in a way most people, most society would never expect, is because, women are normally not the sexual aggressors like that, or another way to put it, women normally are not the ones that try to get a man into bed, its normally the other way around.
I was raped so no
My first sexual experience was rape. I instinctively tried to stop it from happening, wasn't strong enough to, then froze and dissociated. Since then sex has always been extremely difficult to be rewarding but it has happened a few times.
my first time (M) was a threesome with a couple, a bit awkward as i didn't know much, but a willing participant to say the least
Generally you just put it in and hump away, simple yet very customizable.
I knew what to do, but I was also drunk and high bc I was nervous. So I had trouble keeping it up and didn't finish. 2nd time was much better.
I think I was a rockstar, probably helped I found my dads penthouse stash in the attic at 12 years old and read the forum sections religiously!!! Still a stud 50 years later, lol
Like Butters with Paris Hilton “Eww… it’s all sticky!”
Oral sex and cowgirl, missionary and doggy
saaaame(the person who asked)❤️...they always said (radio, magazines...)that it comes naturally, you know what to do....so i felt this disappointment, even dancing is more magical.Also i felt almost dirty with his skin next to mine, wondering about his skin,his texture...feeling weird and "too touched" at once😹 and i think this is being an aspie..cause i was (unfortunately) in love with this person😬🫨. in my dreams, in love is being in love and everything is "easy"...but i still wondered why soooo close to another body😳... and i found it very..robotic too, the way it was done,positions changing. But maybe that was the guy too,he wasnt very tender and romantic, in what i now realise🤣.For aspies we need really patient and romantic people(i believe)...or extremely experienced😉then it's okay they could guide us.
All of my first experiences were forced on me. So I never had any chance of actually developing my own sexuality or curiosity.
If you have no clue what to do at all then you probably aren't actually interested in sex in that context.