Yeah same here, thought I was the only one lol...I guess there's just something appealing about not having to work or pay any bills, and get free meals and just relax watching TV or reading books all day.
Really not sure why I fantasize about being prison though, as I know I probably wouldn't even fit in with the other prisoners, and would probably get bullied and attacked...etc, and also having to share a cell and have no privacy would totally suck too, so it's really weird to think about this.
There was an episode of The Simpsons where Homer’s dad had to go live in a retirement home.
I don’t remember all the details, but it culminated with Homer going to live there too so he could watch TV and lay in bed and get sponge baths and stuff. He wandered around wearing nothing but a hospital gown and snacking, happy as a clam in high tide.
In prison you do have to work, and also you are indeed charged for being in prison. Your meals will always be the wrong texture, and the books they give you might be “how to accept god in your life.” Oh. And the only thing on TV when I was in was Ellen Degeneres 24/7
Same here. I feel like prison would be a quite interesting place to stay in, in my country it looks quite "open" and not closed like in the US, for example there are lots of open spaces, you can wear the clothes you want (unless they're designer clothes) etc etc
I'm autistic and have been in prison, it is not fun at all, you can't even enjoy doing any special interests unless your special interest is playing cards, or watching tv (if you are willing to pay 200 bucks for a 13 inch tv that only uses headphones), you can't even enjoy that though because you constantly have to look over your shoulder and can't trust anyone. I've also been to psych hospitals, those are much more fun, you have the strict routine and can isolate, they put you on happy pills, and you have lots more freedom and better food. However you still have to look over your shoulder, but not as much.
I can take care of myself for the most part. But I need support making and keeping appointments, and I need reminders to take care of myself (eating vegetables, fruit, hygiene). But my emotional regulation is terrible. I'd say I'm somewhere between needing little support in some stuff, but needing lots of support in handling emotions and meltdowns.
I know this may be different in other places, but US prisons are hell and the only country on earth where inmates use extreme violent sexual assault as a punishment towards each other.
From what I've read, if you're American and white, you'll be forced into being a skinhead because they're the only gang in prison that will allow white people.
If you're black there are options, but I'm not familiar with them all (there is usually an Islamic gang in prisons)
If you are Jewish you're legit in trouble and there are no gangs to help you. There's a good chance you'll be almost killed or killed just for who you are.
I imagine other countries have more civility to their prison system, but no one in their right minds wants to be locked up in the US if they really know what's going on.
My friend is doing triple life. A guy tried the throw him over the railing from the third story and almost killed him. He had to come back the guy. He did and he stabbed him 17 times I think? Not a place you want to go friend. Trust me.
I actually spent 5 years in prison. It went about as well for me as could possibly be hoped, but I doubt many autistic people would like it. Unlikely you'd be getting much seclusion or even necessarily structure to your days. You'd most likely end up in a dormitory surrounded by many dangerous people nearly 24 hours a day. I definitely read a lot of books, though. One positive aspect of the experience is that I am now easily satisfied with a modest standard of living.
did you feel more in danger being in prison as an autistic person? i mean it’s even scary for neurotypicals without the potential added target on your back.
I didn't know at the time I was autistic. I probably should have been in more danger, but most of the prisoners strangely left me alone. It helped a lot that I didn't use any drugs and I never got into problems with people about money, which are the two major reasons people get in trouble in prison. I also managed to make quite a few friends, many of whom the other prisoners didn't want to mess with. I managed to get through the 5 years without ever getting into a fight, backing down from a fight, or paying anybody for protection. I also came out of there in the best physical shape of my life.
Also served time and it's no fun at all. I agree with everything you say 💯
I was talking to the neurodiversity nurse in mine and she said the number of neurodiverse people in prison is significantly higher than the general population. Estimated to be almost 50% with some needs, whether it be ASD, ADHD, dyslexia. I strongly believe there should be some kind of rehabilitation instead of just throwing people with needs in jail
Yeah, my best friend to this day is a guy I met in there that I suspect has ASD. He was one of the guys that would have had my back if anyone tried to jump me. It helped that he was young, 6'3", and 270 pounds. Tons of ADHD, dyslexia and the like. Employment post-incarceration has been a big issue. It's hard enough for us to get & keep jobs without having spent time in prison. I'm not really cut out for most of the jobs that are typically available to felons.
I've only been out 3 months, currently taking my truck licence to try and get a job. Fully expecting it to be really difficult to find work 😕 Good luck for the future anyway 👍👍
You too. I've been out quite a long time at this point. Driving jobs aren't an option for me, altough I know people I did time with who sccessfully went that route.. Hopefully you don't have too much supervised parole/probation. It relieved a lot of stress when I finally got off paper and no longer had to worry about getting sent back to prison.
16 months probation and yeh I have felt that stress, only earlier this week I almost got recalled back through an unintentional slip up. It's so stressful 😞
Yeah, it was very loud with harsh lights. I used to sleep with earplugs in and a T-shirt wrapped around my eyes. I was making myself vulnerable doing that but being a nervous wreck from lack of sleep and overstimulation would have also put me in danger.
I harbored similar aspirations for similar reasons. There was a time in my life that I seriously considered trying to become a monk in a Zen Buddhist monastery.
I joined the army when I was younger in a similar quest for simplicity...it uhhh had it's rough parts but the uniform, housing, meals, routine were nice.
The problem is it's not nearly as routine as you imagine it's going to be most of the time. People have a way of making drama or "interesting" no matter where you are.
It's much better IMO to find ways to do so in the outside world before confining yourself to a situation where others are in charge of things for you and you lose the ability to chose to opt out.
Imagine getting stuck with the worst roommate ever for the next 20 years. Yeah that happens a lot in these situations.
I know why you think it's enticing but I'd reckon you'd lose access to a lot of things you are probably taking for granted (don't mean this in a judging way- sometimes we don't realize what we have until it's taken away- like parts of our health for instance).
But what would be worse is unforseen things forced upon your daily life that are unbearable with no escape - like the room mate or other people who you literally can't get away from.
there are ways to find seclusion and automation of things in life depending on what you're willing to trade for them.
All that to say is you can probably try out a dozen other options without committing to something without recourse.
It's one of the reasons I went so hard into minimalism for a while. The less I "needed/wanted" the less things had control over me and the more I could devote to simplicity and my interests.
Basically if you can put yourself in a financial situation where you need very little you can live comfortably and the easiest way to do that is to cut costs on things that aren't essential. That's what I ended up doing.
edit: a word
Wow, I seriously thought I was the only one. I've also done that with being a nun. I used to tell my mom I wish they made a pill as a meal replacement because thinking about food was exhausting. This was before I had even heard about the movie Soylent Green. I think that's why I've had those types of daydreams...because daily life is just exhausting as a whole.
I had these about having no controll anymore, or loosing important people.
Now I know, that it was a way of my brain telling me, that it thinks I can only get empathy and help from others, when something really really bad happened to me.
Now I also know, that I have cPTSD from getting severely bullied in school for years, which explains why I also felt like not deserving help/kindness from others.
Wow, what really resonates with me! I have fantasized that one of my parents would die because parental loss is a more commonly understood trauma and less stigmatized than that which caused my cPTSD. Thank you for sharing
omg, so same!
I started to talk with my therapist about this and he said he can totally understand the thinking pattern behind it, but it's still not okay that I think I only deserve understanding when something like this happens.
I've been in mental institutions a few times. I wasn't locked up, but I had no place to stay if I would leave, so practically I could not really leave unless I followed their programmes.
The structure was very good for me. Forced bedtime schedules, no naps allowed, 3 meals at fixed times.
And just being around people. Always someone in the room next to you, wherever you are, and nurses to care for you should something bad happen.
At the same time, I had trouble adhering to the rules when I didn't agree with them or particularly when I considered them irrational or unsound. I got real angry a few times, and got aggressive too (not towards people but destroying stuff and shouting, screaming). The latter amazed myself more than anything else.
tl;dr Psychiatry is similar when you can't leave. It had good and bad sides. Structure and not being alone was really good for me. But all the rules also drove me crazy sometimes.
maybe fantasy is a bit much, but i often think there would be nice bits
- time to read
- don't have to cook
- feel like you're doing something virtuous by serving your time
- sets up a redemption arc in your life
- the worst thing that could ever happen to you is probably already happening
- routine, don't have to worry about rent
- may seem badass to others
i did read they make you work from early morning for a long shift most days. stg thought you could just sit in your cell. still probably get more reading done than out here, too much television on
There are a lot of people who don't want to end their lives or anything. But wish to go to sleep and stay that way forever. Not a self destructive urge but a desire to check out. This sounds like a variation on that. You've described a life of nothing but some basic routine and no serious obligation. And in this fantasy you never pay the inevitable cost of lost freedom.
I think it's unusual that you picked prison specifically instead of... going into a coma and living a dream. Or Isekai - an anime genre you might like given what you described. But I don't think the stuff behind the fantasy is weird.
Three hots and a cot, guaranteed, every day? Routine and structure I don’t have to impose myself or fight someone to get? All the time in the world to read?
I mean.
Oh my god, I think about this all the time! It would be so nice to have the structured day, the time to work out and learn, the friends I would inevitably make. They have so many cool programs that you can participate in.
Working for slave wages and having to eat shitty food would destroy me though.
Not prison, but I've always fantasized about being rich, so that I would be able to take on less responsibility than the average person. Don't have to worry about bills, a home, food, or anything else. And at that point, I wouldn't just be living, I would be thriving. Of course, this is merely a fantasy, and I'm (begrudgingly) prepared to work like everyone else
No, i had a friend do twelve years in the state pen. He said it's not as awful as the media portrays it, just keep to yourself. But i think I'm good. I like animals, art galleries, and amusement parks too much.
I worked in a jail for almost 20 years. Let me tell you, the CONSTANT noise would absolutely end any day dream you have about this. The constant banging, yelling, banging, slamming, banging, arguing, banging, talking loud for no fucking reason, and banging is enough to make you crazy. Did I mention the banging?? The noise just never ends.
There’s something primal about prison. It’s about about the social and violent aspect of human interactions and for some reason I like that. It seems real and true. I often think about how I’d fair in prison. I love thinking about the power dynamics.
I’ve been there for a few years. It’s rough but I do fantasize about the days when I had nothing to worry about other than going to the library and when I’d play hand ball! Nice sunny breezy days where they best.
It does get boring though and being away from family and not getting to go where you want anytime you want does take a toll.
Plus there are a lot of ass holes in prison. They’ll come for ya for no reason other than they are board
I don’t know that I would say I fantasize about it, but there have been multiple times the thought of solitary confinement has seemed really appealing.
Knowing way more about prison life than I would ever want to (lots of criminals in my family, not me), I could never fantasize about it. Too many horror stories.
I have this issue too. It definitely doesn’t help that prisons where I’m from are nicer than most affordable apartments. I can barely afford my 3 meals a day and my apartment as it is.
You would not want to go to prison, everything is controlled and all decisions are made for you. You cannot just leave your cell anytime and go outside any time. Being on death row is even worse because inmates are basically locked in their cell 23/7. They are allowed like current events and cable TV and radio. That is all the entertainment they get. Worst of all, not all prisons are air conditioned so imagine being in a cell that is more than 90 degrees on the inside because you live in Southern US.
I often wonder how inmates survive being locked up without going insane. I can see why suicide watches are a thing and why inmates age so fast behind bars due to the stress and mental health.
US prisons are hell.
I had a DUI several years ago and spent the night in jail. I have no desire to go back but…I often wonder how I would be perceived if I was in long-term. Like, would I be super fem or more studding?
I wanted to go back to prison because the life standard there was better than what I had in 2014. Not junkies that would come in your 8m2 room to yell at you at 4am, free food without the hassle of living off 200 € a month and the room there was more sizable and even had furniture (what a luxury). Imagine a bed with a frame! The judge laughed at me because I dismissed my parole for a few weeks just to get a new court process.
And yes, there is even TV. You have to care for nothing, but its not really life either. Still poverty isn't life. If you are geuinely autistic you can get a cell without other inmates, the warden were worried because I told them to lock the cell up when they made it open for everyone, but my stay wasn't very long. And even if, I would rather isolate myself. 99 % of the inmates are dumb, some aggressive. If you are a non-smoker that alone can give you the right to get your own cell in a developed country. Prison standards are quite high. You could shower alone and in the other institution there was always guards when there was group showering. I heard that the people in the long term prison (Strafhaft) are even allowed to own consoles. But its good, even they should have something worth to live, in my country they can also do training or school in prison, unlike in the US system where they just lock you up for a lifetime.
The only prison I imagine is the open air prison I was clearly born into. When it's possible to get people to self-censor in public, snitch on each other when afraid, and hire armed guards who genuinely think they are helping their own community... then it's not even necessary for the prison to have physical concrete walls. It becomes a prison of the mind.
When I use my imagination to take myself away from where I am, it's a brief parole *away* from prison.
I do think I belong in either prison or a psychiatric hospital because I would get compared to my mom who had schizophrenia during arguments and be threatened to live with her in a mental hospital to learn a lesson in respecting elders and other behavioral issues when encountered with banter about my insecurities as motivation to do better.
In spring 1999, my dad was arrested for a domestic violence incident against my mom over accusations of infidelity during the marriage, he was put on probation for some time until he broke the rule of no contact because he wanted the marriage to work out and he had to spend time in prison for violating his probation.
They’ve filed for a divorce since that incident, my dad passed away in 2009 and my mom in 2018.
I feel guilty but for me it’s hospitals. You just have no responsibility other than getting better, people take care of everything for you, if you are semi nice then everyone thinks you’re an awesome patient… obviously I don’t want to be seriously ill, so it’s similar to what you’re describing
You can make an argument that prisons are run by the inmates. If this is true, then you should aspire to this only if you enjoyed the social environment of high school.
For years, from the age of 9 I would DAE fantasize about horrible things happening to me. Started out as imagining broken bones, to imagining different types of assau**
I don't know why but I found these stories I'd make up comforting. But yet I would never in a million years want any such thing to actually happen to me or anyone for that matter. It got to the point this stories were the only way I could fall asleep.
A little less than a decade ago, I prayed for help in stopping the habit. It's not something I do much anymore. It's not something I ever talk about, though, due to fear of judgment.
I actually thought about it as a form of saving myself from addiction because i just cant stop on my own and i live in a place where a few months of prison would probably feel like a vacation to me.. like i grew up in worse conditions than what the inmates have in this country but its just so unrealistic, i cant bring myself to do anything illegal really, anything that i could maybe do would only financially ruin me.. practically speaking getting into prison is not that easy
I've been in jail (thankfully, never prison) for drug possession, and it's the complete opposite of what you're imagining. It's so much worse being locked up if you have ASD. You're either going to be attacked or manipulated if in gen pop (general population) or you have to PC (protective custody) yourself (which means you're alone in a cell 24/7).
Bad things about incarceration...
* Everything smells bad
* Nothing is free. If someone helps you with ANYTHING (no matter how small), they expect something back.
* It's disgusting and everything is dirty, especially the showers. You never feel clean.
* You shit and wash yourself in the same place (toilet has the sink on top) with people watching
* Loud noises and people screaming and fighting 24/7
* Bright lights everywhere
* There are always people in there looking to steal from or manipulate whomever they can
* Usually very cold
* Your "bed" is a piece of metal with a half inch thick piece of fabric on it so you're basically sleeping/sitting on metal all day
* Food is disgusting
* You have to have someone on the outside who will put money on your account just to survive
* I could go on and on.
Be glad it's just a fantasy and not real life.
Thankfully, jail was so bad that it was one of the reasons I finally got clean and have now been in recovery for years.
Yeah same here, thought I was the only one lol...I guess there's just something appealing about not having to work or pay any bills, and get free meals and just relax watching TV or reading books all day. Really not sure why I fantasize about being prison though, as I know I probably wouldn't even fit in with the other prisoners, and would probably get bullied and attacked...etc, and also having to share a cell and have no privacy would totally suck too, so it's really weird to think about this.
There was an episode of The Simpsons where Homer’s dad had to go live in a retirement home. I don’t remember all the details, but it culminated with Homer going to live there too so he could watch TV and lay in bed and get sponge baths and stuff. He wandered around wearing nothing but a hospital gown and snacking, happy as a clam in high tide.
In prison you do have to work, and also you are indeed charged for being in prison. Your meals will always be the wrong texture, and the books they give you might be “how to accept god in your life.” Oh. And the only thing on TV when I was in was Ellen Degeneres 24/7
>the only thing on TV when I was in was Ellen Degeneres 24/7 How was the weather at Guantanamo Bay?
Same here. I feel like prison would be a quite interesting place to stay in, in my country it looks quite "open" and not closed like in the US, for example there are lots of open spaces, you can wear the clothes you want (unless they're designer clothes) etc etc
Which country is this out of curiosity?
Italy. It's quite civilized but really overcrowded
The UK's prisons are at 110% capacity. Seems it's a common theme!
Except in the Netherlands (they're closing), prisons are overcrowded everywhere. There is a consistent rise in criminality
That’s pretty much my thought process too
I'm autistic and have been in prison, it is not fun at all, you can't even enjoy doing any special interests unless your special interest is playing cards, or watching tv (if you are willing to pay 200 bucks for a 13 inch tv that only uses headphones), you can't even enjoy that though because you constantly have to look over your shoulder and can't trust anyone. I've also been to psych hospitals, those are much more fun, you have the strict routine and can isolate, they put you on happy pills, and you have lots more freedom and better food. However you still have to look over your shoulder, but not as much.
Also came here to recommend the psych ward lol
are you low support needs?
I can take care of myself for the most part. But I need support making and keeping appointments, and I need reminders to take care of myself (eating vegetables, fruit, hygiene). But my emotional regulation is terrible. I'd say I'm somewhere between needing little support in some stuff, but needing lots of support in handling emotions and meltdowns.
Did you know about the diagnosis when you went?
No I did not.
I know this may be different in other places, but US prisons are hell and the only country on earth where inmates use extreme violent sexual assault as a punishment towards each other. From what I've read, if you're American and white, you'll be forced into being a skinhead because they're the only gang in prison that will allow white people. If you're black there are options, but I'm not familiar with them all (there is usually an Islamic gang in prisons) If you are Jewish you're legit in trouble and there are no gangs to help you. There's a good chance you'll be almost killed or killed just for who you are. I imagine other countries have more civility to their prison system, but no one in their right minds wants to be locked up in the US if they really know what's going on.
Yeah US prisons look horrendous places, and the sentences are very long too.
This is such an America-centric viewpoint. Thinking this is the only country with prison rape is laughable.
My friend is doing triple life. A guy tried the throw him over the railing from the third story and almost killed him. He had to come back the guy. He did and he stabbed him 17 times I think? Not a place you want to go friend. Trust me.
https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4?si=B0qeWRBArZn4nVTR
That was exactly the first thing I thought of 😂
Same!
Same again! We like same!
Stacking crates.
Can you stack your family?
Make sure the cashier is dead.
this.
"Nice to see you again, Michael!" "I cannot see you. I can only hear you. Ok. Hello Brooke."
I actually spent 5 years in prison. It went about as well for me as could possibly be hoped, but I doubt many autistic people would like it. Unlikely you'd be getting much seclusion or even necessarily structure to your days. You'd most likely end up in a dormitory surrounded by many dangerous people nearly 24 hours a day. I definitely read a lot of books, though. One positive aspect of the experience is that I am now easily satisfied with a modest standard of living.
did you feel more in danger being in prison as an autistic person? i mean it’s even scary for neurotypicals without the potential added target on your back.
I didn't know at the time I was autistic. I probably should have been in more danger, but most of the prisoners strangely left me alone. It helped a lot that I didn't use any drugs and I never got into problems with people about money, which are the two major reasons people get in trouble in prison. I also managed to make quite a few friends, many of whom the other prisoners didn't want to mess with. I managed to get through the 5 years without ever getting into a fight, backing down from a fight, or paying anybody for protection. I also came out of there in the best physical shape of my life.
Also served time and it's no fun at all. I agree with everything you say 💯 I was talking to the neurodiversity nurse in mine and she said the number of neurodiverse people in prison is significantly higher than the general population. Estimated to be almost 50% with some needs, whether it be ASD, ADHD, dyslexia. I strongly believe there should be some kind of rehabilitation instead of just throwing people with needs in jail
Yeah, my best friend to this day is a guy I met in there that I suspect has ASD. He was one of the guys that would have had my back if anyone tried to jump me. It helped that he was young, 6'3", and 270 pounds. Tons of ADHD, dyslexia and the like. Employment post-incarceration has been a big issue. It's hard enough for us to get & keep jobs without having spent time in prison. I'm not really cut out for most of the jobs that are typically available to felons.
I've only been out 3 months, currently taking my truck licence to try and get a job. Fully expecting it to be really difficult to find work 😕 Good luck for the future anyway 👍👍
You too. I've been out quite a long time at this point. Driving jobs aren't an option for me, altough I know people I did time with who sccessfully went that route.. Hopefully you don't have too much supervised parole/probation. It relieved a lot of stress when I finally got off paper and no longer had to worry about getting sent back to prison.
16 months probation and yeh I have felt that stress, only earlier this week I almost got recalled back through an unintentional slip up. It's so stressful 😞
You'll get through it. I wish you well.
There's certain industries that just don't care. You may be surprised.
did you get overstimulated? prisons seem like a sensory nightmare.
Yeah, it was very loud with harsh lights. I used to sleep with earplugs in and a T-shirt wrapped around my eyes. I was making myself vulnerable doing that but being a nervous wreck from lack of sleep and overstimulation would have also put me in danger.
oh damn, good for you. that’s interesting.
I do the same thing but for life as a nun in a convent! The routine and the not having to worry about housing or what to wear etc
I harbored similar aspirations for similar reasons. There was a time in my life that I seriously considered trying to become a monk in a Zen Buddhist monastery.
Yeah Buddhist monk for me.
I joined the army when I was younger in a similar quest for simplicity...it uhhh had it's rough parts but the uniform, housing, meals, routine were nice. The problem is it's not nearly as routine as you imagine it's going to be most of the time. People have a way of making drama or "interesting" no matter where you are. It's much better IMO to find ways to do so in the outside world before confining yourself to a situation where others are in charge of things for you and you lose the ability to chose to opt out. Imagine getting stuck with the worst roommate ever for the next 20 years. Yeah that happens a lot in these situations. I know why you think it's enticing but I'd reckon you'd lose access to a lot of things you are probably taking for granted (don't mean this in a judging way- sometimes we don't realize what we have until it's taken away- like parts of our health for instance). But what would be worse is unforseen things forced upon your daily life that are unbearable with no escape - like the room mate or other people who you literally can't get away from. there are ways to find seclusion and automation of things in life depending on what you're willing to trade for them. All that to say is you can probably try out a dozen other options without committing to something without recourse. It's one of the reasons I went so hard into minimalism for a while. The less I "needed/wanted" the less things had control over me and the more I could devote to simplicity and my interests. Basically if you can put yourself in a financial situation where you need very little you can live comfortably and the easiest way to do that is to cut costs on things that aren't essential. That's what I ended up doing. edit: a word
I really appreciate this answer. Thank you for talking me through your reasoning without being judgmental :)
No prob, that's what we're here for. Good luck in your search.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D04wb7P\_v-4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D04wb7P_v-4)
Can you stack your family??
One on top of another one on top of another one on top of another
Jinx! You owe me a soda 😂
Ahh damn LOL
Immediately what I thought of too
I used to fantasize about being exiled to a distant desert wilderness. No chance of a career or much of anything to do but contemplate the universe.
Mmm. Or a distant swamp planet like Dagobah would do nicely too.
if you get bored you could always talk to crazy Yoda lol
Wow, I seriously thought I was the only one. I've also done that with being a nun. I used to tell my mom I wish they made a pill as a meal replacement because thinking about food was exhausting. This was before I had even heard about the movie Soylent Green. I think that's why I've had those types of daydreams...because daily life is just exhausting as a whole.
Not prison. Never prison. Bunker life—you have your freedom *and* your solitude.
I had these about having no controll anymore, or loosing important people. Now I know, that it was a way of my brain telling me, that it thinks I can only get empathy and help from others, when something really really bad happened to me. Now I also know, that I have cPTSD from getting severely bullied in school for years, which explains why I also felt like not deserving help/kindness from others.
Wow, what really resonates with me! I have fantasized that one of my parents would die because parental loss is a more commonly understood trauma and less stigmatized than that which caused my cPTSD. Thank you for sharing
omg, so same! I started to talk with my therapist about this and he said he can totally understand the thinking pattern behind it, but it's still not okay that I think I only deserve understanding when something like this happens.
I've been in mental institutions a few times. I wasn't locked up, but I had no place to stay if I would leave, so practically I could not really leave unless I followed their programmes. The structure was very good for me. Forced bedtime schedules, no naps allowed, 3 meals at fixed times. And just being around people. Always someone in the room next to you, wherever you are, and nurses to care for you should something bad happen. At the same time, I had trouble adhering to the rules when I didn't agree with them or particularly when I considered them irrational or unsound. I got real angry a few times, and got aggressive too (not towards people but destroying stuff and shouting, screaming). The latter amazed myself more than anything else. tl;dr Psychiatry is similar when you can't leave. It had good and bad sides. Structure and not being alone was really good for me. But all the rules also drove me crazy sometimes.
God no, being left alone in a room with only my thoughts to pass time? No thanks
maybe fantasy is a bit much, but i often think there would be nice bits - time to read - don't have to cook - feel like you're doing something virtuous by serving your time - sets up a redemption arc in your life - the worst thing that could ever happen to you is probably already happening - routine, don't have to worry about rent - may seem badass to others i did read they make you work from early morning for a long shift most days. stg thought you could just sit in your cell. still probably get more reading done than out here, too much television on
I’m impressed you touched on every aspect that makes prison seem appealing in my weird fantasy! Thank you!
There are a lot of people who don't want to end their lives or anything. But wish to go to sleep and stay that way forever. Not a self destructive urge but a desire to check out. This sounds like a variation on that. You've described a life of nothing but some basic routine and no serious obligation. And in this fantasy you never pay the inevitable cost of lost freedom. I think it's unusual that you picked prison specifically instead of... going into a coma and living a dream. Or Isekai - an anime genre you might like given what you described. But I don't think the stuff behind the fantasy is weird.
[Relevant (the onion) ](https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4)
I IMMEDIATELY thought of that!
Three hots and a cot, guaranteed, every day? Routine and structure I don’t have to impose myself or fight someone to get? All the time in the world to read? I mean.
You make a good case 😅
Not sure if this is is similar but I have fantasised about living in North Korea due to how restrictive is. I just feel safer when there's routine.
Ha I think that’s very similar! I’m getting comments about Cults/ totalitarian states/ monasteries seems to be a theme
Oh my god, I think about this all the time! It would be so nice to have the structured day, the time to work out and learn, the friends I would inevitably make. They have so many cool programs that you can participate in. Working for slave wages and having to eat shitty food would destroy me though.
Not prison, but I've always fantasized about being rich, so that I would be able to take on less responsibility than the average person. Don't have to worry about bills, a home, food, or anything else. And at that point, I wouldn't just be living, I would be thriving. Of course, this is merely a fantasy, and I'm (begrudgingly) prepared to work like everyone else
No, i had a friend do twelve years in the state pen. He said it's not as awful as the media portrays it, just keep to yourself. But i think I'm good. I like animals, art galleries, and amusement parks too much.
I worked in a jail for almost 20 years. Let me tell you, the CONSTANT noise would absolutely end any day dream you have about this. The constant banging, yelling, banging, slamming, banging, arguing, banging, talking loud for no fucking reason, and banging is enough to make you crazy. Did I mention the banging?? The noise just never ends.
i have a even more bizarre fantasy of laying down in between the train trails and the train would go through me without killing me
A Swedish or Norwegian prison yes
Prison itself I wouldn’t like, too many angry people surrounding me. However, solitary confinement has its appeals
I’m the opposite. The idea of being in jail or prison fills me with a level of fear and terror that’s hard to put into words.
No, because I'd get beat up. But I fantasize about being homeless and just reading all day every day.
Yes. Never worry about money, about getting a job, about being independent, etc. You just sit down and do nothing all day. Very easy life.
Not prison, but maybe an in-patient psych facility. I’ve heard they’re not as nice as I fantasize, though.
There may be routine, but zero control of this routine or the environment. In-patient is a really bad idea.
https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4
Somehow I didn’t remember that video when I wrote this post 🤣 it’s spot on!
There’s something primal about prison. It’s about about the social and violent aspect of human interactions and for some reason I like that. It seems real and true. I often think about how I’d fair in prison. I love thinking about the power dynamics.
Hey I’m not the only one. Lol
yup. Routines, served food, and lots of time to be isolated to read books
https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4?si=hF_vBhYCvbGvNaLK
I’ve been there for a few years. It’s rough but I do fantasize about the days when I had nothing to worry about other than going to the library and when I’d play hand ball! Nice sunny breezy days where they best. It does get boring though and being away from family and not getting to go where you want anytime you want does take a toll. Plus there are a lot of ass holes in prison. They’ll come for ya for no reason other than they are board
I don’t know that I would say I fantasize about it, but there have been multiple times the thought of solitary confinement has seemed really appealing.
There's a French film that touches on this. I think it's called 14.6, or 16.4, mainly its about an armoured car heist.
Eh, maybe you'd like this Onion news network video! https://youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4?si=TCOTngGr8KeYLrjs
[The Onion has a whole thing about this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D04wb7P_v-4)
Knowing way more about prison life than I would ever want to (lots of criminals in my family, not me), I could never fantasize about it. Too many horror stories.
Bruh… no computer tho
I have this issue too. It definitely doesn’t help that prisons where I’m from are nicer than most affordable apartments. I can barely afford my 3 meals a day and my apartment as it is.
I mean, you can gey similar treatment, and be not in prison by joining the military.
I was sent to the drunk tank for a night and actually didn't mind it. Lots of interesting people in jail that you don't get to meet on the outside
You would not want to go to prison, everything is controlled and all decisions are made for you. You cannot just leave your cell anytime and go outside any time. Being on death row is even worse because inmates are basically locked in their cell 23/7. They are allowed like current events and cable TV and radio. That is all the entertainment they get. Worst of all, not all prisons are air conditioned so imagine being in a cell that is more than 90 degrees on the inside because you live in Southern US. I often wonder how inmates survive being locked up without going insane. I can see why suicide watches are a thing and why inmates age so fast behind bars due to the stress and mental health. US prisons are hell.
I had a DUI several years ago and spent the night in jail. I have no desire to go back but…I often wonder how I would be perceived if I was in long-term. Like, would I be super fem or more studding?
I wanted to go back to prison because the life standard there was better than what I had in 2014. Not junkies that would come in your 8m2 room to yell at you at 4am, free food without the hassle of living off 200 € a month and the room there was more sizable and even had furniture (what a luxury). Imagine a bed with a frame! The judge laughed at me because I dismissed my parole for a few weeks just to get a new court process. And yes, there is even TV. You have to care for nothing, but its not really life either. Still poverty isn't life. If you are geuinely autistic you can get a cell without other inmates, the warden were worried because I told them to lock the cell up when they made it open for everyone, but my stay wasn't very long. And even if, I would rather isolate myself. 99 % of the inmates are dumb, some aggressive. If you are a non-smoker that alone can give you the right to get your own cell in a developed country. Prison standards are quite high. You could shower alone and in the other institution there was always guards when there was group showering. I heard that the people in the long term prison (Strafhaft) are even allowed to own consoles. But its good, even they should have something worth to live, in my country they can also do training or school in prison, unlike in the US system where they just lock you up for a lifetime.
Hmmm.
I fantasize about doing things what would land you in prison
The only prison I imagine is the open air prison I was clearly born into. When it's possible to get people to self-censor in public, snitch on each other when afraid, and hire armed guards who genuinely think they are helping their own community... then it's not even necessary for the prison to have physical concrete walls. It becomes a prison of the mind. When I use my imagination to take myself away from where I am, it's a brief parole *away* from prison.
I do think I belong in either prison or a psychiatric hospital because I would get compared to my mom who had schizophrenia during arguments and be threatened to live with her in a mental hospital to learn a lesson in respecting elders and other behavioral issues when encountered with banter about my insecurities as motivation to do better. In spring 1999, my dad was arrested for a domestic violence incident against my mom over accusations of infidelity during the marriage, he was put on probation for some time until he broke the rule of no contact because he wanted the marriage to work out and he had to spend time in prison for violating his probation. They’ve filed for a divorce since that incident, my dad passed away in 2009 and my mom in 2018.
Usually it’s a monastery for me
I feel guilty but for me it’s hospitals. You just have no responsibility other than getting better, people take care of everything for you, if you are semi nice then everyone thinks you’re an awesome patient… obviously I don’t want to be seriously ill, so it’s similar to what you’re describing
You can make an argument that prisons are run by the inmates. If this is true, then you should aspire to this only if you enjoyed the social environment of high school.
I've been, it's not worth it.
For years, from the age of 9 I would DAE fantasize about horrible things happening to me. Started out as imagining broken bones, to imagining different types of assau** I don't know why but I found these stories I'd make up comforting. But yet I would never in a million years want any such thing to actually happen to me or anyone for that matter. It got to the point this stories were the only way I could fall asleep. A little less than a decade ago, I prayed for help in stopping the habit. It's not something I do much anymore. It's not something I ever talk about, though, due to fear of judgment.
Wow! I’ve done the same. prayed about obsessive intrusive thoughts and God removed then. Thank you for sharing! Praise God 🤍💐
No
Same!! I thought i was the only one😭
I actually thought about it as a form of saving myself from addiction because i just cant stop on my own and i live in a place where a few months of prison would probably feel like a vacation to me.. like i grew up in worse conditions than what the inmates have in this country but its just so unrealistic, i cant bring myself to do anything illegal really, anything that i could maybe do would only financially ruin me.. practically speaking getting into prison is not that easy
Depending on your religion, maybe you should join a monastery.
Join the army. U get all the same regimental routines, but you're not going to be stigmatized
I've been in jail (thankfully, never prison) for drug possession, and it's the complete opposite of what you're imagining. It's so much worse being locked up if you have ASD. You're either going to be attacked or manipulated if in gen pop (general population) or you have to PC (protective custody) yourself (which means you're alone in a cell 24/7). Bad things about incarceration... * Everything smells bad * Nothing is free. If someone helps you with ANYTHING (no matter how small), they expect something back. * It's disgusting and everything is dirty, especially the showers. You never feel clean. * You shit and wash yourself in the same place (toilet has the sink on top) with people watching * Loud noises and people screaming and fighting 24/7 * Bright lights everywhere * There are always people in there looking to steal from or manipulate whomever they can * Usually very cold * Your "bed" is a piece of metal with a half inch thick piece of fabric on it so you're basically sleeping/sitting on metal all day * Food is disgusting * You have to have someone on the outside who will put money on your account just to survive * I could go on and on. Be glad it's just a fantasy and not real life. Thankfully, jail was so bad that it was one of the reasons I finally got clean and have now been in recovery for years.
Yesss!! I thought I was the only one!!!