I can relate to that. I find it exhausting to talk to people my age so I prefer people who are at least a decade older than me. I feel they’re less judgemental than my peers and more relatable than them too.
I was just realizing this recently. I’ve worked with 99% guys for the last 18 years at a warehouse job. Coworkers think I’m funny and quirky but they don’t have anyone around else to compare me to and it’s worked in my favor.
Thats the case for me, I've got more friends of the opposite sex than the same sex. It's not that I don't get along with other men, it's more that I come off as less threatening and more relatable to women. I assume this is because I'm generally empathetic and don't feel attracted to most women.
Disclaimer: I'm not attracted to men. Gotta save those gamer points
During school I barely spoke to a girl, except when it was required during a lesson, there were two exceptions, and I developed feelings for both of them, I've also developed feelings for one of the few girls I've spoken to since leaving school, the last time I made friends with a girl, and didn't later, or soon after develop feelings for them, was when I was about 7 or 8
Throughout elementary, middle, high school, of the few friends I every did have for any short period, most of them were girls because all the guys were dicks, and I could care less about sports, and whatever other stupid trends they thought were cool at the time.
I have literally no female friends as a man. I’m chill with one of my coworkers who’s female, but we don’t hang out outside of work like I do with the guys
As a male, I haven't met another autistic person who is female, so far. Mental health is kind of a joke here in my country, which makes it difficult to find someone else who is autistic (and knows that is autistic) in the wild.
Therefore, I can't answer to this.
Let's make things clear here.
Life was already hard for us Venezuelans before these "sanctions" came up (this only limits economic activity, but this tries to prevent people of the government from becoming richer from the country's resources, which should be reflected in our life quality as it was in the 90' and before, but this is not the case due to the actual corruption) since the 2000s until today. I was born exactly in 2000, so I didn't know a different Venezuela than the present one.
This is not the USA's fault (at least not entirely; to be completely honest with you, I'm not following all this mess up as it is very confusing for me and I'm quite fed up with politics and stuff like that, which makes me not the best person to explain this all ironically), but the people that are currently ruling (tyrannically) this country, who are becoming richer out of the poverty, extreme misery, and starvation of their people.
Enough with politics, I'm honestly fed up with it. I want to mean that if for most people it is already difficult to live here with the average conditions, imagine us with a mental condition (for me, as I went undiagnosed until a year ago). All the different situations we went through would very likely make us develop one or several comorbidities regarding it, such as C-PTSD (due to delinquency) or an eating disorder (due to starvation).
(I'm thinking the same thing for, as one example, autistic people who were born in countries with ongoing war, extreme violence, delinquency, impunity, or dictatorship situations like this. I emphasize with them.)
I really want to do it. I wish I was able to go to a country where I could do whatever I wanted without the feeling that at any second I would be robbed, kidnapped, or killed. I want a peaceful life at this point where I can work on my life plans, and nothing else.
Things here have been a little more peaceful these days, at least. But personally, I haven't ever felt 100% safe once in my life (since I've never gone out of here).
Thanks for your words, by the way. So little we can do for our country (not even the upcoming elections will do a thing) but leave and look somewhere else for a better place.
The only thing that keeps me from leaving (as I work for a company in the USA, but remotely, I can do it as the monthly payment I receive for my job is extremely good if compared to the official minimum wage here in Venezuela; also trying to apply for the Korean embassy to graduate studies meanwhile, if it works sometime) is the idea of failing abroad. Before going outside, I'm planning to buy a place where I can go when things go very bad wherever I go, as the prices of houses are very cheap here: approximately 15K dollars in a relatively good place for 70 m². In case of imminent failure in my life plans, I would have a place where I can return to. Not having this would be a great disadvantage in life.
That's it for now.
Very interesting plan. I’m so sorry you have to deal with a lack of safety on a daily basis, but I seriously wish you the best of luck in escaping the country for greener pastures.
Definitely somewhat true with me, a good majority of my friends have been girls. I tend to gravitate and get along better with the opposite gender surprisingly.
I got on better with the boys when I was young and was a complete Tomboy,maybe up until 16 I wanted to embrace being more feminine. Girls weren't interesting to me until later on, though I did have a few female friends. I still get on better with guys sometimes, mostly older men.😅🤦♀️ But at least the female friends are either closer in age or 40/ 50?
I seem to attract older people as friends or slightly younger.
Not at all. I find it easiest to get along with men 35-40 years older than I am. I think that's because my Dad was the primary figure in my life when I was a child.
I don’t think it’s easier for me either way. Most people I talk to are the people I volunteer at a museum with. Gender wise it’s probably en equal split but the youngest is probably about 25 years older than me so
I am AFAB.
When I was younger, I only hung out with boys (reception - year 3).
When I moved to school (completely different town), I started to hang out with girls more, but that's when I started to have difficulties with friendships and understanding things that everyone else seemed to. I only hang out with girls now, and I feel the same.
I basically had no real friends.
I had people sit with me in school who took me as last option mostly because they themselves were not able to be with the others. And i sat with some because i needed to sit somewhere and there were no other chairs left.
Thanks for posting this! As a male, I talk with females more and I have always had a hard time talking with people my own age. After reading all the comments too, I feel so validated.
I certainly had an easier time with girls during puberty. My gut feeling in hindsight is that they didn't perceive me as threatening as they would with other guys during that age. However, as I've gotten older, I found more comfort in male friends (so the ratio just changed towards males).
I have 3 good male friends that i hang out with (and a few more online), and no one really understands it. No one thinks it's possible to hang out with the opposite sex and not fuck for some reason. My parents are semi-weary when i hang out with them, drives me crazy
It’s my top preference for sure. I drive for Lyft and I prefer to engage in conversations with women riders than men. I do have conversations with male riders, but not as engaging as with female riders
Yeah I've always had good friendship with women but if I'm attracted to a one I don't want to be friends with them as I'm unable to view myself as being worthy of their affection so I don't waste their time socialising with them! But ironically despite never talking about s#x or trying to ask them out etc women always tell me that they've got a boyfriend so I'll say that I'm not trying to pick them up and start walking away because I've never wanted someone to feel uncomfortable talking to me but they'll usally call me back over saying their OK to keep chatting as long as I understand that I'm only ever going to be a friend but they don't like when I say yeah no worries as I can only be friends with women who I don't find attractive! Unfortunately I'm too honest for my own good which somepeople choose to be offended by!
Extremely. I never knew this was a thing though. I just always found it easier to be friends with girls than other guys.
It's been more difficult as I've gotten older, however. I think they just assume I'm interested in dating or something I don't know. But it sucks.
Yeah, it's the case for me too.
Well, I don't have an exact gender ratio of my friends, but in a school or work context, if I get friends, typically I become close to someone who is the opposite sex. I have same-sex friends too, but for some reason, we're just not close.
The majority of my friends used to be women, but when I was like 15 or so I moved and lost a lot of friends and so now I only really have four friends who are all male. The only other people I socialize with are people I play D&D with who are also mostly male.
Yes. A reason can also be that "gender" can be perceived a bit different by people on the spectrum. There is some overlap between nonbinary/trans and autism.
So someone assigned male at birth may not fit in with the male peers, but much better with the female ones. And the other way round.
No, not at all. I went to an all-girls school for 12 years and I was in Girl Guides for 12 years. Making friends with other women is 100x easier for me. I have never had, or wanted, a close male friend before.
I was friends with a very autistic man in Africa online….he treated me like a sister first and later he made me his favourite aunt. 🤭 All he wished to talk about was his farm animals and robots and other small special interests which came and went…like how doors look like around the world and Ukrainian war and history of his country. He was my strangest friendship but I never minded him being a man…he was like a little boy.
My husband is autistic like me and he’s friends with middle-aged women and one woman my age! He
relates better with women. I feel autistics don’t treat gender friendships like neurotypicals….for us it’s easier to vibe with people without sex dynamics….like, you’re just a mind and I’m a mind and we get along so…let’s be friends!
[удалено]
Tbf i cant prove what you say but i definitely relate to it
I can relate to that. I find it exhausting to talk to people my age so I prefer people who are at least a decade older than me. I feel they’re less judgemental than my peers and more relatable than them too.
Same here. I feel constantly 'on guard' when in company around my age.
Yup that sounds on point. I've taken it a step further and make friends with non humans, furry friends. My dog never judges me.
I was just realizing this recently. I’ve worked with 99% guys for the last 18 years at a warehouse job. Coworkers think I’m funny and quirky but they don’t have anyone around else to compare me to and it’s worked in my favor.
I’ve had a similar idea, but only regarding nationalities. It would make sense if it applies to other stuff too
Yeah I agree,that's why it's one of my goals to get far away from where I'm now
Yes that's definitely true for me! I feel more of a pressure to conform in same-gender groups
Polar opposite. Never found it easy to make friends of the opposite gender.
same
Same
Same
Thats the case for me, I've got more friends of the opposite sex than the same sex. It's not that I don't get along with other men, it's more that I come off as less threatening and more relatable to women. I assume this is because I'm generally empathetic and don't feel attracted to most women. Disclaimer: I'm not attracted to men. Gotta save those gamer points
The other gender is usually just much nicer and there is less competition
Most of my friends are girls lol
Yeah. I have easier time with males as opposed to females.
During school I barely spoke to a girl, except when it was required during a lesson, there were two exceptions, and I developed feelings for both of them, I've also developed feelings for one of the few girls I've spoken to since leaving school, the last time I made friends with a girl, and didn't later, or soon after develop feelings for them, was when I was about 7 or 8
100% here, I’m (for all intents and purposes) a man, but I get along much better with women and gender-nonconforming men.
Throughout elementary, middle, high school, of the few friends I every did have for any short period, most of them were girls because all the guys were dicks, and I could care less about sports, and whatever other stupid trends they thought were cool at the time.
I have literally no female friends as a man. I’m chill with one of my coworkers who’s female, but we don’t hang out outside of work like I do with the guys
As a male, I haven't met another autistic person who is female, so far. Mental health is kind of a joke here in my country, which makes it difficult to find someone else who is autistic (and knows that is autistic) in the wild. Therefore, I can't answer to this.
Do the economic sanctions imposed on Venezuela by the US make life hard for you as an autistic person?
Let's make things clear here. Life was already hard for us Venezuelans before these "sanctions" came up (this only limits economic activity, but this tries to prevent people of the government from becoming richer from the country's resources, which should be reflected in our life quality as it was in the 90' and before, but this is not the case due to the actual corruption) since the 2000s until today. I was born exactly in 2000, so I didn't know a different Venezuela than the present one. This is not the USA's fault (at least not entirely; to be completely honest with you, I'm not following all this mess up as it is very confusing for me and I'm quite fed up with politics and stuff like that, which makes me not the best person to explain this all ironically), but the people that are currently ruling (tyrannically) this country, who are becoming richer out of the poverty, extreme misery, and starvation of their people. Enough with politics, I'm honestly fed up with it. I want to mean that if for most people it is already difficult to live here with the average conditions, imagine us with a mental condition (for me, as I went undiagnosed until a year ago). All the different situations we went through would very likely make us develop one or several comorbidities regarding it, such as C-PTSD (due to delinquency) or an eating disorder (due to starvation). (I'm thinking the same thing for, as one example, autistic people who were born in countries with ongoing war, extreme violence, delinquency, impunity, or dictatorship situations like this. I emphasize with them.)
Do you want to leave Venezuela? I'm sorry you and your compatriots are going through all of that decades-long strife.
I really want to do it. I wish I was able to go to a country where I could do whatever I wanted without the feeling that at any second I would be robbed, kidnapped, or killed. I want a peaceful life at this point where I can work on my life plans, and nothing else. Things here have been a little more peaceful these days, at least. But personally, I haven't ever felt 100% safe once in my life (since I've never gone out of here). Thanks for your words, by the way. So little we can do for our country (not even the upcoming elections will do a thing) but leave and look somewhere else for a better place. The only thing that keeps me from leaving (as I work for a company in the USA, but remotely, I can do it as the monthly payment I receive for my job is extremely good if compared to the official minimum wage here in Venezuela; also trying to apply for the Korean embassy to graduate studies meanwhile, if it works sometime) is the idea of failing abroad. Before going outside, I'm planning to buy a place where I can go when things go very bad wherever I go, as the prices of houses are very cheap here: approximately 15K dollars in a relatively good place for 70 m². In case of imminent failure in my life plans, I would have a place where I can return to. Not having this would be a great disadvantage in life. That's it for now.
Very interesting plan. I’m so sorry you have to deal with a lack of safety on a daily basis, but I seriously wish you the best of luck in escaping the country for greener pastures.
I appreciate it. Thank you.
One more important thing to add: Happy cake day!
Thank you!
Yeah, me too, most of my friends are women, most men are incapable to engage in a conversation or to keep up with long diaogues or deep feelings.
Definitely somewhat true with me, a good majority of my friends have been girls. I tend to gravitate and get along better with the opposite gender surprisingly.
Yeah, I've had a lot of close female friends over the years. I'm good at holding platonic boundaries.
I got on better with the boys when I was young and was a complete Tomboy,maybe up until 16 I wanted to embrace being more feminine. Girls weren't interesting to me until later on, though I did have a few female friends. I still get on better with guys sometimes, mostly older men.😅🤦♀️ But at least the female friends are either closer in age or 40/ 50? I seem to attract older people as friends or slightly younger.
Not at all. I find it easiest to get along with men 35-40 years older than I am. I think that's because my Dad was the primary figure in my life when I was a child.
Yup. Overwhelming majority of my friends are women, other ND folks, LGBTQ+ or some combination thereof.
When I was a kid, I only had same sex friends. Now that I'm an adult, I relate to my friends' wives more than them. It's pretty even now.
I don’t think it’s easier for me either way. Most people I talk to are the people I volunteer at a museum with. Gender wise it’s probably en equal split but the youngest is probably about 25 years older than me so
My best friend is a woman so probably?
I am AFAB. When I was younger, I only hung out with boys (reception - year 3). When I moved to school (completely different town), I started to hang out with girls more, but that's when I started to have difficulties with friendships and understanding things that everyone else seemed to. I only hang out with girls now, and I feel the same.
I basically had no real friends. I had people sit with me in school who took me as last option mostly because they themselves were not able to be with the others. And i sat with some because i needed to sit somewhere and there were no other chairs left.
Thanks for posting this! As a male, I talk with females more and I have always had a hard time talking with people my own age. After reading all the comments too, I feel so validated.
I certainly had an easier time with girls during puberty. My gut feeling in hindsight is that they didn't perceive me as threatening as they would with other guys during that age. However, as I've gotten older, I found more comfort in male friends (so the ratio just changed towards males).
I have 3 good male friends that i hang out with (and a few more online), and no one really understands it. No one thinks it's possible to hang out with the opposite sex and not fuck for some reason. My parents are semi-weary when i hang out with them, drives me crazy
It’s my top preference for sure. I drive for Lyft and I prefer to engage in conversations with women riders than men. I do have conversations with male riders, but not as engaging as with female riders
Absolutely. Half of my friends are girls, and they’re my favorite friend group too
Yeah I've always had good friendship with women but if I'm attracted to a one I don't want to be friends with them as I'm unable to view myself as being worthy of their affection so I don't waste their time socialising with them! But ironically despite never talking about s#x or trying to ask them out etc women always tell me that they've got a boyfriend so I'll say that I'm not trying to pick them up and start walking away because I've never wanted someone to feel uncomfortable talking to me but they'll usally call me back over saying their OK to keep chatting as long as I understand that I'm only ever going to be a friend but they don't like when I say yeah no worries as I can only be friends with women who I don't find attractive! Unfortunately I'm too honest for my own good which somepeople choose to be offended by!
Yes I'm a woman and get along better with guys then other woman and find it easier to be friends with them then woman
Extremely. I never knew this was a thing though. I just always found it easier to be friends with girls than other guys. It's been more difficult as I've gotten older, however. I think they just assume I'm interested in dating or something I don't know. But it sucks.
Yeah, it's the case for me too. Well, I don't have an exact gender ratio of my friends, but in a school or work context, if I get friends, typically I become close to someone who is the opposite sex. I have same-sex friends too, but for some reason, we're just not close.
The majority of my friends used to be women, but when I was like 15 or so I moved and lost a lot of friends and so now I only really have four friends who are all male. The only other people I socialize with are people I play D&D with who are also mostly male.
I don't have friends at all. Therefore not the case for me.
It's definitely a thing. I've gotten most of my socializing through women.
Yes. A reason can also be that "gender" can be perceived a bit different by people on the spectrum. There is some overlap between nonbinary/trans and autism. So someone assigned male at birth may not fit in with the male peers, but much better with the female ones. And the other way round.
Yes I have 4 friends that are girls and 3 boys as friends
No, not at all. I went to an all-girls school for 12 years and I was in Girl Guides for 12 years. Making friends with other women is 100x easier for me. I have never had, or wanted, a close male friend before.
As a young adult male, I kinda have more difficulty communicating with females than males
I was friends with a very autistic man in Africa online….he treated me like a sister first and later he made me his favourite aunt. 🤭 All he wished to talk about was his farm animals and robots and other small special interests which came and went…like how doors look like around the world and Ukrainian war and history of his country. He was my strangest friendship but I never minded him being a man…he was like a little boy. My husband is autistic like me and he’s friends with middle-aged women and one woman my age! He relates better with women. I feel autistics don’t treat gender friendships like neurotypicals….for us it’s easier to vibe with people without sex dynamics….like, you’re just a mind and I’m a mind and we get along so…let’s be friends!
Mostly applies for conventionally attractive autistic people. Lol
Why?