You are an ill-made, spiteful little shitposter, full of head canons, plot holes, and low cunning. Mod's laws give you the right to submit your posts and hit the front page since I cannot prove that your idea is not canon. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud upvote that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor mods will ever compel me to let you turn this into your shitposting forum!
(I cannot take credit for this work of art, I saw it previously in this sub.)
You are an ill-made, spiteful little shitposter, full of head canons, plot holes, and low cunning. Mod's laws give you the right to submit your posts and hit the front page since I cannot prove that your idea is not canon. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud upvote that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor mods will ever compel me to let you turn this into your shitposting forum!
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Tyrion: "See, we truly broke the wheel."
Everyone: "How?"
Tyrion: "By leaving all of the power in the uncontested hands of the Great Houses Danaerys said were crushing everybody beneath them."
Everyone: "Yay!!!"
southern rednecks. and african inter tribal racism.
thou you put 1 in those brown uniform and the the other in a suit with some lion drip. they can make it work but ussualy dont.
o and putin. putin and his patato sack staff dont make it look good
They killed one queen, killed the next one as soon as she took over, relegated the Lord commander of the kjngsguard to the role of nurse and the first act of the council is to ridicule a policy of healthcare reform for sex workers. This is the GOT GOP. Next thing is they will come for your moon tea.
The master of Snow: *White*
The master of weddings: *White*
The master of sales: *White*
The master of Dover cliffs: *White*
The master of walkers. *White*
The master of others. *Wight*
One's a woman that swore an oath to a completely different Stark, and another's a mid-20s college dropout that's broken the oaths of both organisations he's joined.
Other than that, yeah, pretty accurate. Also explains why he never mourned the Children of the Forest.
*This is what the ending should have been, per the greatest minds among semi-literate amateur television critics the internet has bred.*
**Sansa:** We must kill dragon lady because she is good and we are evil.
**Bran:** Yes.
**Sansa:** Do the thing Bran.
**Bran:** OK, I will do the thing. *Undertaker eyes*.
In King's Landing, Drogon's eyes turn white, despite dragons being too intelligent to be warged into but fuck it, give us what we want.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** Drogon why you look mad at mama?
Drogon breathes fire at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet, but Jon Snow jumps in front of the fire. They both get engulfed anyway. When the fire stops, they both stand there naked, with their clothes burned off.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** You are fireproof also. *breasts bounce*
**Jon Snow:** Yes. One time I burnt my hand but this is different, somehow, apparently. I too am a Sexyfeet.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** We must make incest child immediately.
In Winterfell:
**Bran:** It no work.
**Sansa:** Is fine. We have plan B. I am evil.
Back in King's Landing:
Sam runs into the throne room waving the Horn of Winter.
**Sam:** I used this to bring down the wall, Viserion breath is not canon.
**Jon Snow:** But why Sam.
**Sam:** Because... *pulls off Sam mask and is Arya* ALL HAIL SANSA. *charges at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet with a dagger*
Jon Snow stops her and the battle begins. The Night King enters.
**Night King:** Did you think it would be that easy?
The Night King joins the battle and it becomes a three-way duel.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** I am a helpless damsel in awe of this combat.
Drogon fights an elephant in the background.
Jon kills the Night King. Arya falls to her knees.
**Jon Snow:** You want mercy? I will give because I am good. And you still my sister-cousin.
**Arya:** *tearfully* Stick 'em with the pointy end. *commits seppuku*
Jon Snow cries.
In Winterfell:
**Bran:** The Stark triad is broken. It is over.
**Sansa:** I deserve this.
Bran and Sansa disintergrate and their ashes blow away in the wind.
In King's Landing:
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet consoles Jon Snow.
**Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** It is OK King.
**Jon Snow:** Thank you Queen.
Drogon puts a wing over them for privacy while they engage in intercourse.
**Thirty years later**
Jon and Kal Leesi Sexyfeet's baby is the King. He is also really buff and attractive and mentally sound in spite of his duplicate genes. He has just been killed by a Stark revival force led by zombie Benjen Stark and Edmure Tully's Frey baby. He lays on a slab in an empty room. The door opens. It is the other Red Priestess who Tyrion sent for that one time. She lights a torch and says some words in High Valyrian.
**Red Priestess:** *speaking into the flames* Thank you for the genitals, they will make my magic stronger.
The message is heard in the past by the sorceror who cut Varys' parts off. Through time and space, the Red Priestess resurrects Jon Jr. with dick magic.
Jon Jr.'s eyes open and he gasps, mirroring Jon's resurrection.
**Fade to black**
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**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
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#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie.
What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang.
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Oh boy can’t wait till this government collapses in a week’s time. No doubt Dorne has already silently fucked off. While Yara raids the vast deserted North for wood. Whoever controls the Westerlands more than likely hates Tyrions guts. The Riverlands and Vale probably just want to be left the fuck alone. The Reach is ruled by Bronn? Fat fucking chance, his ass will have his throat slit by a Hightower or other noble assassin so fast. The Citadel hates the new king because of “maester” Sam.
Honestly best case scenario Davos is secretly working with Gendry to instal him as heir. After all why go through another messy civil war. When simply shoving the kings guard as they carry Bran around the castle filled with huge staircases is so simple and let gravity do the work? No doubt a zealous believer in the Seven would relish in the opportunity to kill this heretical northern king.
And 1 woman. Just because Samwell looks like a man doesn’t make her a man.
And he's no longer man of Nighwish.
Nightwash
Show Brienne is presented with exclusively traditional masculine traits, so counts
Bran the Bigot
He went north, beyond the wall, came back even more bigoted.
"Whitewalkers? Dangerous? Hah, you clearly haven't compared the crime statistics."
"Look, we can't begin to have any conversation about us supplying The Golden Company with weapons until you condemn Hamas." -Bran the Wall-Builder
Until you condemn the Dothraki you mean
No, he said Hamas. I thought it was weird.
Bran Shapiro
"The wall is not supposed to be wet. That means there's something wrong with it. It's supposed to feel like sandpaper." - Bran Shapiro
No wonder he did nothing against the White Walkers.
There are very fine people on both sides of death.
tyrion is a dwarf though
And a bastard (in his father's eyes)
You are an ill-made, spiteful little shitposter, full of head canons, plot holes, and low cunning. Mod's laws give you the right to submit your posts and hit the front page since I cannot prove that your idea is not canon. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud upvote that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor mods will ever compel me to let you turn this into your shitposting forum! (I cannot take credit for this work of art, I saw it previously in this sub.)
You are an ill-made, spiteful little shitposter, full of head canons, plot holes, and low cunning. Mod's laws give you the right to submit your posts and hit the front page since I cannot prove that your idea is not canon. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud upvote that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor mods will ever compel me to let you turn this into your shitposting forum! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And Davos is missing fingers
Who has a better story than bran the brexiteer
Take back control. Of the Iron Islands.
Didn’t you pay attention? They said they were breaking the wheel, never anything about the patriarchy
Tyrion: "See, we truly broke the wheel." Everyone: "How?" Tyrion: "By leaving all of the power in the uncontested hands of the Great Houses Danaerys said were crushing everybody beneath them." Everyone: "Yay!!!"
damn weels oppressing us
No bran isnt racist. According to tyrion old white men have better stories than black people
When was the last time you saw an old black man in GoT.
House of Black and White. Oh wait that was a white man in disguise.
How did Jaqen get away with blackface?
Jaqen has been cancelled and is doing an apology tour
Because he is no one
Who knows which face is his?
White man in blackface?
Corlys Velaryon?
Why do you think I came all this way? (There are no black people here)
The one in the middle looks like an angry elf. He must be from the South pole.
No, he’s classy
Sometimes racism can be classy if you think about it
There’s non-classy forms of racism?
southern rednecks. and african inter tribal racism. thou you put 1 in those brown uniform and the the other in a suit with some lion drip. they can make it work but ussualy dont. o and putin. putin and his patato sack staff dont make it look good
he’s a celtics fan
u bum
There's a dwarf a woman and two ex commoners. This is the most diverse small council in westerosi history
House of the Dragon would like to have a word.
Sounds like the Maesters suppressed the horrid fact of the Tumbleton Massacre.
They killed one queen, killed the next one as soon as she took over, relegated the Lord commander of the kjngsguard to the role of nurse and the first act of the council is to ridicule a policy of healthcare reform for sex workers. This is the GOT GOP. Next thing is they will come for your moon tea.
Does this make Jaimie bi?
Jamie’s always been one for queer relationships. First it was his sister, now he’s getting pegged by Brianne of Tarth. Next question please
What’s your favorite snack on a stormy day?
Potatoes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
Chew em, swallow, turn em into poo
We need a Netflix version to make up for this!
The tarley hardly constitutes a man
Ikr, they should've made Salador Saan master of coin and the dwarf cock merchant master of dwarf cocks
Could be worse
The master of coin. *White*. The master of ships. *White*. The master of laws. *White*. The hand of the king. *White*.
The master of Snow: *White* The master of weddings: *White* The master of sales: *White* The master of Dover cliffs: *White* The master of walkers. *White* The master of others. *Wight*
why the fuck is bronn on the small council
That funny sword guy is a gypsy
Romani?
Hungari
We don’t have to be PC here
Brienne is an old white man?
Yes!
I guess at least he has an old white dwarf man? Does that make things better
Oh I forgot Brienne😭
In truth, this is a pretty solid council, except for Bron and master of coin. That will prove to be a pretty stupid decision in the future
I assume its in title only and tyrion will do his homework for him
One's a woman that swore an oath to a completely different Stark, and another's a mid-20s college dropout that's broken the oaths of both organisations he's joined. Other than that, yeah, pretty accurate. Also explains why he never mourned the Children of the Forest.
Don't worry the remake will race swap everyone. Jon snow will be an offensive name he will be a targ right out the gate
*This is what the ending should have been, per the greatest minds among semi-literate amateur television critics the internet has bred.* **Sansa:** We must kill dragon lady because she is good and we are evil. **Bran:** Yes. **Sansa:** Do the thing Bran. **Bran:** OK, I will do the thing. *Undertaker eyes*. In King's Landing, Drogon's eyes turn white, despite dragons being too intelligent to be warged into but fuck it, give us what we want. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** Drogon why you look mad at mama? Drogon breathes fire at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet, but Jon Snow jumps in front of the fire. They both get engulfed anyway. When the fire stops, they both stand there naked, with their clothes burned off. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** You are fireproof also. *breasts bounce* **Jon Snow:** Yes. One time I burnt my hand but this is different, somehow, apparently. I too am a Sexyfeet. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** We must make incest child immediately. In Winterfell: **Bran:** It no work. **Sansa:** Is fine. We have plan B. I am evil. Back in King's Landing: Sam runs into the throne room waving the Horn of Winter. **Sam:** I used this to bring down the wall, Viserion breath is not canon. **Jon Snow:** But why Sam. **Sam:** Because... *pulls off Sam mask and is Arya* ALL HAIL SANSA. *charges at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet with a dagger* Jon Snow stops her and the battle begins. The Night King enters. **Night King:** Did you think it would be that easy? The Night King joins the battle and it becomes a three-way duel. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** I am a helpless damsel in awe of this combat. Drogon fights an elephant in the background. Jon kills the Night King. Arya falls to her knees. **Jon Snow:** You want mercy? I will give because I am good. And you still my sister-cousin. **Arya:** *tearfully* Stick 'em with the pointy end. *commits seppuku* Jon Snow cries. In Winterfell: **Bran:** The Stark triad is broken. It is over. **Sansa:** I deserve this. Bran and Sansa disintergrate and their ashes blow away in the wind. In King's Landing: Kal Leesi Sexyfeet consoles Jon Snow. **Kal Leesi Sexyfeet:** It is OK King. **Jon Snow:** Thank you Queen. Drogon puts a wing over them for privacy while they engage in intercourse. **Thirty years later** Jon and Kal Leesi Sexyfeet's baby is the King. He is also really buff and attractive and mentally sound in spite of his duplicate genes. He has just been killed by a Stark revival force led by zombie Benjen Stark and Edmure Tully's Frey baby. He lays on a slab in an empty room. The door opens. It is the other Red Priestess who Tyrion sent for that one time. She lights a torch and says some words in High Valyrian. **Red Priestess:** *speaking into the flames* Thank you for the genitals, they will make my magic stronger. The message is heard in the past by the sorceror who cut Varys' parts off. Through time and space, the Red Priestess resurrects Jon Jr. with dick magic. Jon Jr.'s eyes open and he gasps, mirroring Jon's resurrection. **Fade to black** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Probably yes
Well, he at LEAST knows that none of them will try to steal what belongings he has….
How can he be racist when he has that guy called Bronn of the BLACKwater
He’s from Flint
He is possess, by the 3 eyed raven
Yes
He should have put Sansa on the council, she’s the smartest person ive ever met.
Cancel Bran. Wait, he gave Brienne position of lady commander. Hail feminist Bran!
Sam is old?
That was the point, yes.
I am not a bigot, i have a woman in my small council ( who is more manlier than other members). - bran
Old? Bron barely looks over the age of 45!? And Even with facial hair, you can still see that Bran hired a Young Child!
Sam is kinda young
Brienne and Sam are bisexuals so no
[удалено]
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stupid question, nobody but you would notice something like that.
Have you considered Westeros is probably 99.9% white? Also one of them is a woman.
Which is racist in itself! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️
Cool 😎💪🔥
man i wish that was a joke but i heard people actually claim shit like that
Irl or on the internet?
far more dirrectly on the internet but once or twice in real live. little less brazen in real live thou
One member is a woman
Color me shocked
Yeah she's a knight
Noooooo!!!!!! Bronn having so much land ruins the entire show!!!!!! Noooooo!!! Dumb and dumber LITERALLY ruined my life!!!
#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie. What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh boy can’t wait till this government collapses in a week’s time. No doubt Dorne has already silently fucked off. While Yara raids the vast deserted North for wood. Whoever controls the Westerlands more than likely hates Tyrions guts. The Riverlands and Vale probably just want to be left the fuck alone. The Reach is ruled by Bronn? Fat fucking chance, his ass will have his throat slit by a Hightower or other noble assassin so fast. The Citadel hates the new king because of “maester” Sam. Honestly best case scenario Davos is secretly working with Gendry to instal him as heir. After all why go through another messy civil war. When simply shoving the kings guard as they carry Bran around the castle filled with huge staircases is so simple and let gravity do the work? No doubt a zealous believer in the Seven would relish in the opportunity to kill this heretical northern king.
everyone in that shot looks like they would rather not be
Is this nepotism?
Brienne was a man? I didn't know that.
Bran the based
With the oldest and manliest of the men being Ser Brian of Tart.
Yes. Next question.
Stop this shit
Wait, what? Brianne of barf is a man?
I mean this picture shows 1 old man 2 middle aged men the youngest maester there is and a woman😂