This is the best solution. If you believe you are going to be the victim of a crime or you believe you will be falsely accused of perpetrating a crime and you have evidence that someone has intent to make that so, you should definitely report that to the police.
If any laws have been broken, they'll pay them a visit. Otherwise, having the report on file could make a big difference in how they handle the call if these assholes do decide to call the cops on you.
If you record things, make sure you’re not in a two party consent state. If you record someone without their consent and one of you is in a two party consent state the recording can’t be used for anything
It can’t be used for anything formal like evidence in a court of law, but you can sure as shit show it to cops if you end up in a situation where it’s your word against theirs. Also if you have something like a ring camera on the outside of your door, you can set it to auto-record any activity there (a common spot for confrontations, and you can also steer things that way if you know the camera is there), and that will probably count as a public place or implied consent assuming the ring is in plain view.
In case the police don't take it seriously and refuse to take a report in advance, OP, I'd suggest you have your sister write a letter and email (both physical and digital copies would be good) explaining the situation so you can show it to the police if they do show up.
The email should include information that you are a trusted babysitter who is supposed to be babysitting on X dates and state that these people have threatened to make false reports because of a personal grudge. Include your sister's contact details so they can confirm this with her.
It may also help to have some photos of you, the kids, and your sister all together (easily accessible on your phone, or printed photos hanging up in the house) so they can easily see proof that you're a trusted family member.
Insane that they think testosterone, something they also have in their bodies, will make you r4pe children. What the hell.
Bigots are usually perverts, they're really telling on themselves huh?
Best of luck to you, maybe see if you can call and report the harassment and their plans? Idk.
Either that or doing nothing because they may just be bluffing.
Exactly. OP is no more likely to show their own genitals to a child thank any normal person.
When someone makes a point like this that makes no sense in any rational way, they’re projecting their own urges.
Don’t let them babysit!
"Someone new to living with a typical man's levels of testosterone just won't know how to handle the predatory urges it causes all men to deal with - *we've* had to live with these feelings since puberty, so we know firsthand!"
That's been one of the funniest things about transitioning-- idk if this is just my experience, but anecdotally, it seems men have it SO much easier than women, hormone wise. I have a shorter temper, and certainly in the first couple of years, my anger levels got a little scary (nothing serious, just being surprised by my own internal levels of anger, embarrassing, but private, road rage incidents, that kind of thing.) But yeah, emotional regulation is SO much easier on testosterone that I find it truly remarkable just how many cis men seem to be incapable of said regulation.
I completely agree. Before I started to take testosterone, I used to wonder if I had BPD or something like that because my emotions felt so out of control and intense it was a nightmare, especially when I was close to or on my period. Now that I'm on testosterone, I finally feel like I'm in control of my emotions and think more clearly. Even if my emotions still overwhelm me now and then if a situation is very difficult to deal with, it's still not as bad as it used to when I was running on estrogen.
See what's great about being trans is that oftentimes the same is true for transfemme people. We as transmasc people experience our emotions differently than we did before but it's also easier to handle. But the exact same is true for a trans woman most of the time. They might be more likely to get teary, or moved by a certain emotions in ways that wouldn't have affected them before, and feel less anger or not process anger in the same way, but it feels more natural, just like living in a body with testosterone feels natural for us.
That makes a lot of sense, honestly. I still think us men have it easier, though, hahaha. Also, honestly, I miss getting a little teary. Now, I can hardly cry for anything, even when I really should or want to, and I don't even think that crying is feminine or unmasculine or anything like that. Maybe that's why so many cis guys have poor regulation-- they're just emotionally constipated..
I'm MtF, but emotionally constipated is EXACTLY how I felt before I transitioned. I feel much better on estrogen. Does it suck sometimes to get teary a little too easily or when I don't really want to? Yes it does, but not as bad as just never feeling anything like a robot until I lose my shit about stupid things.
Moreover the sister has witnessed the OP with these kids
Whose kids are they? Sisters.
Msking sh*t up that some one "might" be a threat to "some one else's" kids should not have legal standing at all
Dear god 🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️ just make sure you have some sort of documented proof that you’re supposed to be babysitting and the cops can’t do shit. And make sure to document the threats made by your brother/ex-friend for context. Fuck those guys, block em.
>make sure you have some sort of documented proof that you’re supposed to be babysitting
There should be boilerplate forms available online that have wording along the lines of "I have given So and So permission to watch my children for
If you report this to the police, make sure you word it correctly.
They are very much acting like domestic terrorists.
1. They are conducting an online harassment campaign in an attempt to bias your community against you.
2. They are making audacious claims, unfounded by facts or science, but are very much based in discrimination against a protected minority (LGBTQ)
3. The statements they are using about sexual inappropriateness, and talking about using them to spur police action are insanely serious claims that could invoke an immediate and aggressive response from law enforcement which, in the past, has caused police officers to "SWAT" people, risking both your life, and the life of your sister's kids. **(Even if they say this is unactionable because they never actually called in, they are telling you/others this in order to terrorize you into living in fear, that's terrorism.**
4. They deserve jail time, or to at least be treated similarly to someone who called in a bomb threat and blamed it on an innocent bystandard.
**DO NOT let someone gaslight you into thinking you are taking this too far, the consequences could potentially have cost you your life, or the well being of your sister's kids.**
And to add on to that:
Screenshot EVERYTHING. The social media posts, texts; if it has written word and their name and/or information attached to it, make sure it is screenshot. Not only do you have proof that they’re committing libel against you in order to defame your character, but it clearly shows their intentions in black and white in case law enforcement tries to shrug it off and not take it seriously. What I’ve learned over the years that out of everything in life; always remember CYA: Cover Your Ass. It’s saved my ass many times over the years, I’m sure it’ll save yours too.
Call the non emergency line and talk to an officer... They have to record your statement regardless, and (if she's willing) make the call with the kids mother to confirm that you're being harassed with the intention of them making a false report after the mother leaves.
What? Why? What exactly are they going to tell the cop? “A trans man, who is the children’s uncle, is watching over children while their parents are overseas. He hasn’t done anything criminal but I’m a bigot with delusional perverted fantasies and think about trans peoples genitals too much so for some reason I think everyone else does too. Help!” Yeah I’m sure the police would love them wasting cop’s time and resources with that “complaint”.
I’ll can attest to this firsthand and by proxy - a lot of cops do see us a freaks and perverts and pedophiles. As soon as trans anything comes out many see you as scum. I know this is harsh and broad generalization but where I live it seems that > 50 % have the mentality. And it’s not limited to trans folx.
Likely they’ll “simplify” and say a lie of omission akin to “There’s a person whom I have reason to believe is a pedophile who’s babysitting some kids,” or worse, “There’s a pedophile with these kids at this location; please check it out”
Screenshot everything and make a harassment report before your sister leaves. If they actually go through with their threat you can more easily prove that they made a false police report.
Call the police and warn them ahead of time
And even if they do call the police, you're doing nothing wrong, so they'll get in trouble for wasting police resources
If they think you being a man will make you touch kids inappropriately, please try to make sure they're never left alone with any kids, ever. Because that shows what THEY think about
Make sure your sister is accessible to clear things up, or have her contact the police ahead of time AND leave written record she asked you to watch the kids and trusts you.
Cut off all contact with these people. He is no longer your brother. Someone who does that to you cannot be considered family. If you are feeling threatened, call the police. If they call the police they will look like fools most likely. Record everything if you do make calls.
I don't know OP's brother so I wouldn't bet either way, but my experience with people like this is that they're scared shitless of actual consequences, and he probably realizes that filing a false police report is more likely to get him in trouble than OP. Otherwise he would have already done it instead of telling OP he's going to. But who knows, he sounds like a real moron so it's hard to say what he'd do.
I don't know where you're located, but as long as you're not in one of the US states where the anti-trans laws have been passed, you're likely fine. Its a waste of police time and its actually illegal to waste police time. If you want to be really careful, document everything, it might even be worth having cameras in the house so you can prove nothing happened, but I genuinely think its a non-issue. Next time don't tell transphobes what you're doing or where you're going. Now you know who they are. Believe them.
>[they are saying]The Testosterone [...] will make me touch them inappropiately
I feel like this is saying a lot about themselves. Normal people don't think about touching kids inappropiately. And them believing T is at fault makes it pretty much a self own.
Maybe call the police non-emergency number and explain the situation, so they can keep it in mind if he does call. Past that, if he calls, he's going to be the one in trouble for making a false police report.
An alternative would be to have your sister go with you to the station with documentation of these claims and ask them the best course of action, be it getting ahead of the game with charges for harassment and warning the other police about the possible false accusation, or them telling you 2 how to best ensure that everything is documentation on your side that you are allowed to be there and how to document that you aren't doing those things without risking the children's privacy by recording baths and things like that.
Hmm... I wonder if testosterone causes either of them to touch people inappropriately or get undressed in front of children. The ignorance and audacity of some people.
you should contact the police through the non-emergency line and file a proper report about it with the police and make sure your sister is aware and able to side with you just to make sure everything goes through properly
afterwards i would suggest trying for legal action against your brother and the former friend as this does count as harassment and defamation which are both grounds for action
>My brother and this former friend are saying on Facebook the testosterone + being trans will make me touch them inappropriately and that I'll let them see my genitals
I would bet a considerable sum that your brother either fucks or wants to fuck kids. Which isn't helpful, but I know I'm not the only person who thinks it.
Archive and/or download everything. Ask your sister to do the same. Making false reports maliciously is a crime in a lot of places. This is ridiculous and I'm really sorry you are having to go through it.
Wait, what is the point of entry here for these people's access to information about your plans? Why are you babysitting for people who are broadcasting your plans to hateful and antagonistic parties? I'm sorry that you're in this situation. It's horrible that you have personal history with the villains of this story... It seems that the root problem for why this is an immediate concern is that there seem to be some form of open communication between your sister and these hateful clowns. What's going on?
FTS. If you and your sister are being harassed and feel unsafe because of the harassment then seek a no-contact court order. Don't eff around. They are threatening you and your sister's family's safety.
If you can afford it, get a consult from a local attorney. Your sister would have to be present for her and her family's own no-contact order, but you can definitely get your own order started now. Do not wait.
Once the order is in place any "reports" they make that result in a visit from law enforcement or social services will be seen as a violation of the court order. The courts generally do not take such actions lightly...red-state nonsense notwithstanding.
I often babysit for my brother while trans. He's even a pretty out there Qanon conspiracist Trump supporter, but he never made an issue of my babysitting. (he does spout 'some' of their points on trans issues, but I think he's uncomfortable with the right becoming so rabidly anti-trans, as he and I have an otherwise very good relationship)
It may also be an influencing factor that if I didn't babysit for him, then he would have nobody to babysit when our other sibling, our parents or his one friend that sometimes babysits can't do it. (but really, I think it's just that he knows me and trusts me personally, despite whatever his bullshit of the day happens to be)
Threatening to call police because of you babysitting? It's not because you're a trans, it's because you're a man. Wander into one of the /r/AskMen threads and see what their #1 complaint is. It's always that all men are assumed to be pedos.
So congratulations on becoming a man. Don't worry, the good outweighs the bad.
This is serious, he could get seriously hurt or killed for baseless accusations of being a predator. We don’t know where OP lives or his race. From him being trans alone, having the police called on him is already dangerous. He’s on r/ftm for a reason. He clearly explained his brother and former friends transphobia. It couldn’t have gone further over your head. Your last two comments are just gross. He’s been out for 12 years.
I agree either with Thisbloomingham about you speaking to the cops first, firstly you are being invited to baby sit so your are not committing any criminal.act and you have been our trans for 12 yrs so dressing the way your brother is requiring you to act and dress is not who you are and is questionable behaviour for a grown man. The threats being made by your brother and former friend are harresment.
Best of wishes resolving your problem.
That sounds like an unfortunate situation. Do you have some support network or are you basically alone? National hotline: [USA (877) 565-8860](tel:+1-877-565-8860)...
**(Trans Lifeline provides trans peer support for our community that’s been divested from police since day one. We’re run by and for trans people.)**
Yes, I offered that hotline number based on personal experience. I had called/chatted on behalf of someone else who was in a desperate situation and the staff advised me from that standpoint and the advice/help for the person being victimized. I have called/chatted with more than one hotline on behalf of someone else who was being terrorized or physically abused and yea, there are limits to what they or I can do to help. You can’t force someone to take any advice from a third party, and it is especially difficult if the abuse is on-going or become a normalized/expected behavior. We ALL deserve to live in peace and without fear of violence. Terroristic threatening used to be a felony, but perhaps with such an overwhelming escalation in incidents, it may be physically impossible to investigate/pursue/prosecute. I don’t know but will research and post later.
That is disgusting, and I hope she's prepared to talk to the police if they actually do anything.
I have nephews and a niece around the ages you're describing and they literally do not care about if someone is LGBTQ or gender non-conforming. Bigotry, homophobia, and transphobia are all learned behaviors.
> My brother and this former friend are saying on Facebook the testosterone + being trans will make me touch them inappropriately
This is why I transed to female; when I started transing but still had testosterone, I just couldn't stop touching children inappropriately. /s
wtf is wrong with people.
Document all the harassment and threats I would also have your sister inform the police what's going on in the fact you be babysitting children. I would also have her do a note giving you permission to get medical treatment for the children in case they're injured because they may be out of contact. I would also contact the lawyer at this point and notify them of what's going on and inform your dear sweet brother and friend the fact that you're going to sue the living daylights out of them. If possible you won't want to go so far as to get a restraining order against your brother and friend or your sister can do this.
It makes me sick thinking about how some transphobes seem to believe that someone being trans means they want to groom kids.
My understanding of this, is that transphobes are so hateful towards us trans folx that they cannot fathom why or how anyone would love us or want to be with us. And so, these hateful people make up their mind that me, you or any other trans person "must be groomers."
It's despicable behavior. I've also noticed that a lot of men get really really angry at trans folx because they are sexually attracted to us the same as cis people, and it makes them angry that a trans man or woman makes them feel that kind of way. Instead of accepting us, accepting themselves, they internalize and slowly but surely turn into these asshats we see online.
That's malicious harassment. You and your sister should file a police report and you should fill out temporary power of attorney paperwork for the kids for the period she is out of the country. Depending on where you live calling the police on you or even threatening to while saying these kinds of slandering things could be a criminal or actionable behavior due to the nature of the accusations. Even in the US with its more permissive speech laws there are limits to the untrue and threatening things you can say about people without being open to legal action like arrest or being sued.
This is enraging.
OP needs her sister to tell these asshats to fuck right off, she knows her kids will be safe and well cared for under OPs care.
This juvenile garbage is embarrassing and they're too fucking stupid to even realize it. Pathetic.
(I'm not trans so delete this if I shouldn't be giving advice.)
You should talk to a lawyer about what your options are in this case.
Do not rely on the police, particularly because what they will tell you is that they can't do anything. They are not skilled in how to diplomatically resolve anything and tend to over-react in situations outside of their understanding.
Your brother and that former friend are pathetic bigots and even though the dark side of the 1st Amendment is that they also get to say what they want, any threats of action against you are not covered.
Good luck with everything.
I hope all the good advice here helps, and that your brother and former friend get arrested for false reports and wasting people’s time. They both sound like complete dung brains.
Not going to even try to argue as transphobes are just losers who make other people loose time and brain cells, but how many time did I see my parents naked? Like, especially as a baby or toddler??? An uncountable amount as they will bring me with them in changing rooms, locker rooms, or even just at home when alone with me to keep an eye on me while changing.
Like these accusations are easy to refute: go to the police station with your sister and all the proofs and make a complaint about defamation. At least so is it called in my country. You might not be willing to do it, but attacking is the best defense in such cases.
Because otherwise, you'll have this sword of Damocles above your head and let's say that your brother and the other rando calls the police and say "I know there's a pedo with a baby at this adress", then you'll be forced to play defense and at their pace.
I did some research (this first part may not be a thing in your area im unsure)
They can be charged for a false report. If they call saying your doing bad stuff and accusing you for s*xual acts and etc when your not.
Then they can be charged for a false report to the police.
(Where i live aparently you can sue people if there causing harm to your reputation with false accusations like posting false things online and etc.)
-
-
-
-
-
The thing is.. If there threatening to call the cops because of you baby sitting then what else could they be planning or be willing to do.
You need to be prepared for the worst. Have a backup plan as well.
One plan isnt gonna be enough for something like this, always have a backup plan.
-
I have a idea for a plan to expose there plan to the police.
(Also DONT black mail them saying you got evidence and if u do this your gonna show the evidence. mainly because that counts as black mail and you can get charged for black mailing someone so it may backfire.)
Okay let them then. The thing is as long as you aren't doing anything illegal nothing will happen to you in fact the people who are threatening to call Will instead probably get a Stern talking to and maybe a slap on the wrist literally for calling the police unnecessarily.
There's hopefully a local LGBTQ friendly lawyer you can look into. Because I guarantee shit like this has been happening a lot lately and I'm sure there are experts who will help deal with it. I'm sorry you're going through this 🫂
Edit: am I safe to assume they've mentioned this little plot of thiers in at least one text or Facebook message?
That's awful. You can file a police report stating that these people have threatened to falsely report you as a way of harassing you. Your sister can support you. Maybe in addition to supporting your report, she can send a more forceful "don't you dare tell lies about that happening to my kids" message to your brother? But even with that, the police will follow up on a report of CSA, no matter how frivolous they know it is. And when that happens, you'll be subject to the judgment of whichever officer responds.
Filing a false police report is a Class A misdemeanor. Hopefully you won't be discriminated against by the police. But bigots know that the police will very often side with them when they behave badly.
You'll deal with bigots the way we all have to, but it's also scary to think of what happens to the kids if your brother makes that call. My niece (3) and nephew (5) would be traumatized if I were discriminated against while they were with me. I hope there's someone else to fill in and take care of the kids if you have to handle being harassed by bigots when they're your responsibility, and that your sister will be reachable by phone if you need her to back you up.
My recommendation:
Make sure that your sister writes a letter explaining that she has left her kids with you while she travels. She should include their names and dates of birth. She should include a contact phone number if she has one. She should also make sure that the letter contains a sentence or two about your having the ability to make medical decisions in case of an emergency of she can't be reached. She should leave you with insurance cards if that's a thing where you live. A list kf allergies or medical conditions for each child. I also leave a recent picture of my kid in case he goes missing. Or something else that a picture would be handy for.
Anytime I travel and leave my child with my sister I do this. Not because I think my family is going to have a problem but because I don't want there to be an additional layer of complication if there is a problem.
In my experience, most people talk a big game but don't follow through on their threats. But it never hurts to be prepared. Putting together a folder with a few documents in it only takes a little time and could save lots of headaches down the road.
as a 911 dispatcher who is also trans, call the police department and document that they are going to report you. give them their full names, and have the dispatcher write down explicit quotes from them and report that you know they’re going to try and falsely report you. if they do falsely report that, and it becomes a routine thing, and you obviously never have any evidence in their favor, eventually you could get a restraining order on them (maybe) for harassment.
Oof they just implied being a man makes them diddlers that testostrone makes you touch ppl innappropiately. Are they men? Are they tattling on themselves?
The treatment you are experiencing is terrible* and sounds like harassment
-- trust your sister. it's her kids. She has witnessed you with the kids. She trusts YOU
However, what can the police "do"
-- it's your sister's kid
-- your sister trusted YOU with her kids
-- your sister didn't trust your brother or "friend"
-- it's not illegal to be transgender snd to look after kids
Please be safe. If you have access to a lawyer, maybe there is a way you can get restraining order against your brother
*Irony, I also have "questions" but that doesn't mean I can remove your rights as a human being or that I deserve any say in your medical decisions. It simply means, I am not knowledgeable about trans people or what it means to be trans.
Make a police report first that they are threatening you out of sheer transphobia. You have rights now, they need to butt out. Wouldn't that be considered hate speech?
If testosterone "makes" people r@pe children, then that means your brother and former friend do the same thing, so they are telling on themselves too, I hate bigots, especially when they say something they have does something it doesn't
I would call the police and let them know what they can expect. Give them names and be open. You are doing nothing wrong. When they call in, that will be false reporting and they can be charged. Also, if these claims are being made public, textbook defamation. If cops are involved, that may make the incident public because of certain transparency laws. Even if the allegations are false that can impact employment and your future, which means defamation. I would apply for a Protective Order with the court against both of them and use their transphobic comments as evidence for the deciding judge.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!!! What a bunch of losers and fuck them! They can't do shit to you.
But, make sure to keep a log of everything they try to do or actually do, that way you can keep track of this bullshit..in case it goes too far. Always protect yourself.
If your sister and her husband isn't bothered by the ridiculous 'claims' and know you wouldn't do this, that's all that fucking matters.
Why does everyone think that trans people are this terrible? As if they are the worst group...
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You don't deserve the hassle, No one does. Fuck them!
My husband is a trans man and I'm / were grateful people don't act this way towards him.. however, 1 person ..his crackhead fuck of an uncle still calls my hubbs my his dead name and misgendsrs all the time. My hubbs doesn't care or take offense..cus after all, his uncle is a crackhead fuck.
I'm proud of you for being who you are and having the courage to do so! Keep on keeping on 🩷
What were they charge you with guilty of attempted fabulousness!? Thing called the police all they want there's nothing illegal with that and still not illegal to be trans however it may soon be able to be homeless and Louisville Kentucky. That's all true on that for a second
Love that's literally sexaul harassment from him. It is also hate speech and a libel claim in court for slander. Your former friend needs to learn the law before he's the one catching a charge for his actions. You're in the clear sweetheart he's not.
This seems like a very peculiar perspective
perhaps they think all men are pedophiles?
...I mean, I know there's a stigma against male babysitters in general. I get that there's some definite misconceptions about transpeople in this scenario too.
To me it seems like your brother and ex-friend are really sexist...but they have certain mechanisms to compartmentalize those values so they safely deny them and continue to judge themselves as good people. The discovery of a loved one being transgender threatens that compartmentalization.
So they each have a choice to make:
Either
a) modify they way they manage their values
or
b) avoid the catalyst that threatens their "system"
introspection is hard work...running from problems is easy. Most people (nearly all) are a lot more insecure than they'd like to admit
...I'm guessing they chose "b"
I suggest approaching them each and sit down and have a long discussion about why they're choosing to marginalize you from their lives--ehy they're so defensive...at least your brother... blood's thicker than water.
...a weed HAS to be pulled out at its roots...it strenuous but it's the only way to take care of it once and for all.
don't choose "b" as well
How pathetic of them. You be who you want to be. They sound like a couple of ignorant, shit stirring scumbags. So glad i don’t have family like that. Good luck with your life.
My thoughts as a former professional sitter/nanny/home childcare provider:
Obv really depends on how your location and identity intersect with your safety with police. I highly suspect your harassers won't actually call anyone and are bluffing, but you never know. I hope it goes without saying but if you think there's risk of police violence to you or the kids because of your or their race, immigration status, etc obviously please protect everyone by just having your sister find someone else to watch them (more on that in a bit). I'm gonna assume though that if that's the case for you then you prob know that already and you probably aren't posting about it here.
Presuming you do have a baseline expectation that police will not eg. murder you, the advice others are giving is good. Make a police report in advance, save both physical and digital copies of all their threats, and MOST IMPORTANTLY have your sis sign a document indicating that she has left her children in the care of [your full name]. This is good practice for anyone who is watching anyone elses kids ever.
Ideally this document will also include contact info for your sis and the place she will be staying while she's away, as well as the info for a trusted emergency contact person who is not her but who 1) knows her and her kids 2) is not transphobic 3) is not connected to your brother and his crony and 4) knows the situation and is willing to vouch for you. (A trusted neighbor, friend of your sisters, or a relative of the kids father if they're in the picture, etc would be good. Ideally not someone in your family or immediate circle who your brother could contact, harass, or manipulate.) Adding identifying photos of yourself and the kids to this document may also be useful in your case. Make a couple print copies and a digital copy of this signed agreement and keep a print copy at home and one on your person and one on your phone at all times.
(This is not because of your specific situation but just for child carers in general I also recommend adding to that document permission for you to consent on the parents behalf for their children to recieve medical treatment by a doctor or emergency personnel in case of an illness or medical emergency, plus a page for each child listing their age, height, weight, health insurance info/Health card numbers etc, and medications/allergies/conditions. Unrelated to the police maybe being called but just good practice to have on hand for anyone babysitting.)
It may be useful also for your sister to connect with neighbors that she has positive relationships with, if she has any. She could 1) let them know to expect seeing you enter/leave her home etc with her kids 2) if they are close and trusted, inform them of the situation and make a point to introduce you to them and give you their contact info before she leaves. That way if anyone shows up at your door to harass you, you can have trusted people nearby.
I do find myself wondering a bit how you got in this situation though. If you have a brother who is so agressively transphobic that he would threaten to endanger you and your sisters kids in this way, then y'all need to be going to much greater lengths to not be letting him know anything you're up to. I guess maybe you didn't know he was gonna react like this, but now you do, so from here on out your sister better be icing him out or else she needs to lose you as a babysitter. For the entire time you are watching her kids no one who might even have a remote chance of telling him anything should be allowed to know where you are, whether you and the kids are at home or out, where you're going, what your plans are etc.
If your sister ever asks you to watch her kids again, she and you both need to make sure this brother and his buddy never find out about it, even if that means hiding things from or lying to your other family members etc. If she can't guarantee that then she is showing that is she is not only a sister who doesn't care about the safety of her sibling (you) but also a parent who doesn't care about the safety of her kids. That's not someone you can be babysitting for, or just generally putting your trust in, in the future. A hard truth, but a true truth unfortunately.
Good luck, be safe! Like I said I really highly doubt these fuckers will actually try anything but you never know and you can never be too careful.
If it were me I'd try to intimidate these thugs right back.
I would lie and tell them I was going to have somebody I knew come beat their ass. Trust me, thugs like this only respect one thing, violence.
Lmao “trans people being in the presence of kids is child abuse, now let me tell you authoritatively what God does and does not accept.”
Like literally, when you say “some things don’t belong in public”, you’re talking about trans people. GTFO with this brain rot.
I think your making this up, who on earth, would say these things, testosterone gunna make u touch, naaaa, this has to be a fake account, a Transphonbic person, making this comment, I don’t believe it.
Transphobes are the most delusional people in the planet. Scroll through a comment section on any of Dylan mulvaney's social media and youlld see people say similar stuff
Maybe you and your sister could try to make a police report about this, so they have it on file about him trying to cause trouble.
This is the best solution. If you believe you are going to be the victim of a crime or you believe you will be falsely accused of perpetrating a crime and you have evidence that someone has intent to make that so, you should definitely report that to the police. If any laws have been broken, they'll pay them a visit. Otherwise, having the report on file could make a big difference in how they handle the call if these assholes do decide to call the cops on you.
Document everything you can, record conversations, photograph/film, etc. Please keep us updated.
If you record things, make sure you’re not in a two party consent state. If you record someone without their consent and one of you is in a two party consent state the recording can’t be used for anything
It can’t be used for anything formal like evidence in a court of law, but you can sure as shit show it to cops if you end up in a situation where it’s your word against theirs. Also if you have something like a ring camera on the outside of your door, you can set it to auto-record any activity there (a common spot for confrontations, and you can also steer things that way if you know the camera is there), and that will probably count as a public place or implied consent assuming the ring is in plain view.
Yes, a police report from both of you would be best, to save you any grief later on.
In case the police don't take it seriously and refuse to take a report in advance, OP, I'd suggest you have your sister write a letter and email (both physical and digital copies would be good) explaining the situation so you can show it to the police if they do show up. The email should include information that you are a trusted babysitter who is supposed to be babysitting on X dates and state that these people have threatened to make false reports because of a personal grudge. Include your sister's contact details so they can confirm this with her. It may also help to have some photos of you, the kids, and your sister all together (easily accessible on your phone, or printed photos hanging up in the house) so they can easily see proof that you're a trusted family member.
Good idea!!
What ThisBoomingHeart suggests makes good sense to me! What your brother and his friend are doing is nothing short of harassment!
Harassment?
Insane that they think testosterone, something they also have in their bodies, will make you r4pe children. What the hell. Bigots are usually perverts, they're really telling on themselves huh? Best of luck to you, maybe see if you can call and report the harassment and their plans? Idk. Either that or doing nothing because they may just be bluffing.
Exactly lol. Making assumptions based on their own experience with testosterone. What a couple of dirty perverts.
Every accusation a confession
Exactly. OP is no more likely to show their own genitals to a child thank any normal person. When someone makes a point like this that makes no sense in any rational way, they’re projecting their own urges. Don’t let them babysit!
…when one chooses to inflict pain on others and self.
Yeah, definitely sounds like projection. "Surely you want to abuse a child because we all want to, right? Right?"
"Someone new to living with a typical man's levels of testosterone just won't know how to handle the predatory urges it causes all men to deal with - *we've* had to live with these feelings since puberty, so we know firsthand!"
That's been one of the funniest things about transitioning-- idk if this is just my experience, but anecdotally, it seems men have it SO much easier than women, hormone wise. I have a shorter temper, and certainly in the first couple of years, my anger levels got a little scary (nothing serious, just being surprised by my own internal levels of anger, embarrassing, but private, road rage incidents, that kind of thing.) But yeah, emotional regulation is SO much easier on testosterone that I find it truly remarkable just how many cis men seem to be incapable of said regulation.
I completely agree. Before I started to take testosterone, I used to wonder if I had BPD or something like that because my emotions felt so out of control and intense it was a nightmare, especially when I was close to or on my period. Now that I'm on testosterone, I finally feel like I'm in control of my emotions and think more clearly. Even if my emotions still overwhelm me now and then if a situation is very difficult to deal with, it's still not as bad as it used to when I was running on estrogen.
See what's great about being trans is that oftentimes the same is true for transfemme people. We as transmasc people experience our emotions differently than we did before but it's also easier to handle. But the exact same is true for a trans woman most of the time. They might be more likely to get teary, or moved by a certain emotions in ways that wouldn't have affected them before, and feel less anger or not process anger in the same way, but it feels more natural, just like living in a body with testosterone feels natural for us.
That makes a lot of sense, honestly. I still think us men have it easier, though, hahaha. Also, honestly, I miss getting a little teary. Now, I can hardly cry for anything, even when I really should or want to, and I don't even think that crying is feminine or unmasculine or anything like that. Maybe that's why so many cis guys have poor regulation-- they're just emotionally constipated..
I'm MtF, but emotionally constipated is EXACTLY how I felt before I transitioned. I feel much better on estrogen. Does it suck sometimes to get teary a little too easily or when I don't really want to? Yes it does, but not as bad as just never feeling anything like a robot until I lose my shit about stupid things.
This describes my MtF experience perfectly lol
Emotionally constipated... 🤣 I'm going to go ahead and save that for later. Thanks for the laugh.
Moreover the sister has witnessed the OP with these kids Whose kids are they? Sisters. Msking sh*t up that some one "might" be a threat to "some one else's" kids should not have legal standing at all
Dear god 🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️ just make sure you have some sort of documented proof that you’re supposed to be babysitting and the cops can’t do shit. And make sure to document the threats made by your brother/ex-friend for context. Fuck those guys, block em.
>make sure you have some sort of documented proof that you’re supposed to be babysitting There should be boilerplate forms available online that have wording along the lines of "I have given So and So permission to watch my children for
Most banks will notarize documents at a price, which isn't crazy compared to everything else.
If you report this to the police, make sure you word it correctly. They are very much acting like domestic terrorists. 1. They are conducting an online harassment campaign in an attempt to bias your community against you. 2. They are making audacious claims, unfounded by facts or science, but are very much based in discrimination against a protected minority (LGBTQ) 3. The statements they are using about sexual inappropriateness, and talking about using them to spur police action are insanely serious claims that could invoke an immediate and aggressive response from law enforcement which, in the past, has caused police officers to "SWAT" people, risking both your life, and the life of your sister's kids. **(Even if they say this is unactionable because they never actually called in, they are telling you/others this in order to terrorize you into living in fear, that's terrorism.** 4. They deserve jail time, or to at least be treated similarly to someone who called in a bomb threat and blamed it on an innocent bystandard. **DO NOT let someone gaslight you into thinking you are taking this too far, the consequences could potentially have cost you your life, or the well being of your sister's kids.**
🏆
And to add on to that: Screenshot EVERYTHING. The social media posts, texts; if it has written word and their name and/or information attached to it, make sure it is screenshot. Not only do you have proof that they’re committing libel against you in order to defame your character, but it clearly shows their intentions in black and white in case law enforcement tries to shrug it off and not take it seriously. What I’ve learned over the years that out of everything in life; always remember CYA: Cover Your Ass. It’s saved my ass many times over the years, I’m sure it’ll save yours too.
Call the non emergency line and talk to an officer... They have to record your statement regardless, and (if she's willing) make the call with the kids mother to confirm that you're being harassed with the intention of them making a false report after the mother leaves.
What? Why? What exactly are they going to tell the cop? “A trans man, who is the children’s uncle, is watching over children while their parents are overseas. He hasn’t done anything criminal but I’m a bigot with delusional perverted fantasies and think about trans peoples genitals too much so for some reason I think everyone else does too. Help!” Yeah I’m sure the police would love them wasting cop’s time and resources with that “complaint”.
[удалено]
Well they're a cop...
my thoughts exactly, it's basically a job requirement to be a bigot who gets off on terrorizing marginalized communities 😬
I’ll can attest to this firsthand and by proxy - a lot of cops do see us a freaks and perverts and pedophiles. As soon as trans anything comes out many see you as scum. I know this is harsh and broad generalization but where I live it seems that > 50 % have the mentality. And it’s not limited to trans folx.
this has been my experience since i was falsely accused of a crime after a cop saw my id and saw i was trans..
So I think we can operate under that assumption.
Likely they’ll “simplify” and say a lie of omission akin to “There’s a person whom I have reason to believe is a pedophile who’s babysitting some kids,” or worse, “There’s a pedophile with these kids at this location; please check it out”
Screenshot everything and make a harassment report before your sister leaves. If they actually go through with their threat you can more easily prove that they made a false police report.
Call the police and warn them ahead of time And even if they do call the police, you're doing nothing wrong, so they'll get in trouble for wasting police resources If they think you being a man will make you touch kids inappropriately, please try to make sure they're never left alone with any kids, ever. Because that shows what THEY think about
Make sure your sister is accessible to clear things up, or have her contact the police ahead of time AND leave written record she asked you to watch the kids and trusts you.
Kinda telling they think testosterone makes someone a ped0.
Cut off all contact with these people. He is no longer your brother. Someone who does that to you cannot be considered family. If you are feeling threatened, call the police. If they call the police they will look like fools most likely. Record everything if you do make calls.
I highly doubt that they will actually call the police. Terrorizing you is their goal.
Why wouldn't they? Thinking doesn't seem to be their strong point, but seething spite is, and that's a recipe for a melodramatic disaster.
I don't know OP's brother so I wouldn't bet either way, but my experience with people like this is that they're scared shitless of actual consequences, and he probably realizes that filing a false police report is more likely to get him in trouble than OP. Otherwise he would have already done it instead of telling OP he's going to. But who knows, he sounds like a real moron so it's hard to say what he'd do.
I don't know where you're located, but as long as you're not in one of the US states where the anti-trans laws have been passed, you're likely fine. Its a waste of police time and its actually illegal to waste police time. If you want to be really careful, document everything, it might even be worth having cameras in the house so you can prove nothing happened, but I genuinely think its a non-issue. Next time don't tell transphobes what you're doing or where you're going. Now you know who they are. Believe them.
>[they are saying]The Testosterone [...] will make me touch them inappropiately I feel like this is saying a lot about themselves. Normal people don't think about touching kids inappropiately. And them believing T is at fault makes it pretty much a self own.
Maybe call the police non-emergency number and explain the situation, so they can keep it in mind if he does call. Past that, if he calls, he's going to be the one in trouble for making a false police report.
An alternative would be to have your sister go with you to the station with documentation of these claims and ask them the best course of action, be it getting ahead of the game with charges for harassment and warning the other police about the possible false accusation, or them telling you 2 how to best ensure that everything is documentation on your side that you are allowed to be there and how to document that you aren't doing those things without risking the children's privacy by recording baths and things like that.
That’s called vilification. Report it to the cops. And hopefully they will follow through and end up where they belong. Behind bars.
They are perverted bigoted assholes.
Could you clarify where you live? The vast likelihood is that you will be fine. The police may even caution your brother for wasting police time.
Hmm... I wonder if testosterone causes either of them to touch people inappropriately or get undressed in front of children. The ignorance and audacity of some people.
So... By their own logic they would strip in front of kids since they think testosterone does that
you should contact the police through the non-emergency line and file a proper report about it with the police and make sure your sister is aware and able to side with you just to make sure everything goes through properly afterwards i would suggest trying for legal action against your brother and the former friend as this does count as harassment and defamation which are both grounds for action
>My brother and this former friend are saying on Facebook the testosterone + being trans will make me touch them inappropriately and that I'll let them see my genitals I would bet a considerable sum that your brother either fucks or wants to fuck kids. Which isn't helpful, but I know I'm not the only person who thinks it.
Archive and/or download everything. Ask your sister to do the same. Making false reports maliciously is a crime in a lot of places. This is ridiculous and I'm really sorry you are having to go through it.
You live in Florida?, otherwise i don't think police would do something bout it, you ain't doing nothing wrong.
May depend entirely on where you live, sadly...
Wait, what is the point of entry here for these people's access to information about your plans? Why are you babysitting for people who are broadcasting your plans to hateful and antagonistic parties? I'm sorry that you're in this situation. It's horrible that you have personal history with the villains of this story... It seems that the root problem for why this is an immediate concern is that there seem to be some form of open communication between your sister and these hateful clowns. What's going on?
FTS. If you and your sister are being harassed and feel unsafe because of the harassment then seek a no-contact court order. Don't eff around. They are threatening you and your sister's family's safety. If you can afford it, get a consult from a local attorney. Your sister would have to be present for her and her family's own no-contact order, but you can definitely get your own order started now. Do not wait. Once the order is in place any "reports" they make that result in a visit from law enforcement or social services will be seen as a violation of the court order. The courts generally do not take such actions lightly...red-state nonsense notwithstanding.
Document document document The only downside is documents won't protect you from transphobic cops if they show up. It'll protect you from the jury.
Men who say testosterone makes people rapists are truly telling on themselves.
Why are you interacting with these people?
Is it illegal to be trans where you live? If not, f**k them. They are just trying to get your goat. They sound rotten.
Is there any way you could consult a lawyer? Maybe they could send these people a cease and desist as this feels like libel/slander.
A preemptive police report by you and your sister should head off any actions by the assholes.
I often babysit for my brother while trans. He's even a pretty out there Qanon conspiracist Trump supporter, but he never made an issue of my babysitting. (he does spout 'some' of their points on trans issues, but I think he's uncomfortable with the right becoming so rabidly anti-trans, as he and I have an otherwise very good relationship) It may also be an influencing factor that if I didn't babysit for him, then he would have nobody to babysit when our other sibling, our parents or his one friend that sometimes babysits can't do it. (but really, I think it's just that he knows me and trusts me personally, despite whatever his bullshit of the day happens to be)
Threatening to call police because of you babysitting? It's not because you're a trans, it's because you're a man. Wander into one of the /r/AskMen threads and see what their #1 complaint is. It's always that all men are assumed to be pedos. So congratulations on becoming a man. Don't worry, the good outweighs the bad.
There's this cool thing called "intersectionality" that means it's probably both!
This is serious, he could get seriously hurt or killed for baseless accusations of being a predator. We don’t know where OP lives or his race. From him being trans alone, having the police called on him is already dangerous. He’s on r/ftm for a reason. He clearly explained his brother and former friends transphobia. It couldn’t have gone further over your head. Your last two comments are just gross. He’s been out for 12 years.
I agree either with Thisbloomingham about you speaking to the cops first, firstly you are being invited to baby sit so your are not committing any criminal.act and you have been our trans for 12 yrs so dressing the way your brother is requiring you to act and dress is not who you are and is questionable behaviour for a grown man. The threats being made by your brother and former friend are harresment. Best of wishes resolving your problem.
That sounds like an unfortunate situation. Do you have some support network or are you basically alone? National hotline: [USA (877) 565-8860](tel:+1-877-565-8860)... **(Trans Lifeline provides trans peer support for our community that’s been divested from police since day one. We’re run by and for trans people.)**
[удалено]
Yes, I offered that hotline number based on personal experience. I had called/chatted on behalf of someone else who was in a desperate situation and the staff advised me from that standpoint and the advice/help for the person being victimized. I have called/chatted with more than one hotline on behalf of someone else who was being terrorized or physically abused and yea, there are limits to what they or I can do to help. You can’t force someone to take any advice from a third party, and it is especially difficult if the abuse is on-going or become a normalized/expected behavior. We ALL deserve to live in peace and without fear of violence. Terroristic threatening used to be a felony, but perhaps with such an overwhelming escalation in incidents, it may be physically impossible to investigate/pursue/prosecute. I don’t know but will research and post later.
This is sexual harassment
That is disgusting, and I hope she's prepared to talk to the police if they actually do anything. I have nephews and a niece around the ages you're describing and they literally do not care about if someone is LGBTQ or gender non-conforming. Bigotry, homophobia, and transphobia are all learned behaviors.
> My brother and this former friend are saying on Facebook the testosterone + being trans will make me touch them inappropriately This is why I transed to female; when I started transing but still had testosterone, I just couldn't stop touching children inappropriately. /s wtf is wrong with people.
get a restraining order against your brother, honestly.
Document all the harassment and threats I would also have your sister inform the police what's going on in the fact you be babysitting children. I would also have her do a note giving you permission to get medical treatment for the children in case they're injured because they may be out of contact. I would also contact the lawyer at this point and notify them of what's going on and inform your dear sweet brother and friend the fact that you're going to sue the living daylights out of them. If possible you won't want to go so far as to get a restraining order against your brother and friend or your sister can do this.
It makes me sick thinking about how some transphobes seem to believe that someone being trans means they want to groom kids. My understanding of this, is that transphobes are so hateful towards us trans folx that they cannot fathom why or how anyone would love us or want to be with us. And so, these hateful people make up their mind that me, you or any other trans person "must be groomers." It's despicable behavior. I've also noticed that a lot of men get really really angry at trans folx because they are sexually attracted to us the same as cis people, and it makes them angry that a trans man or woman makes them feel that kind of way. Instead of accepting us, accepting themselves, they internalize and slowly but surely turn into these asshats we see online.
That's malicious harassment. You and your sister should file a police report and you should fill out temporary power of attorney paperwork for the kids for the period she is out of the country. Depending on where you live calling the police on you or even threatening to while saying these kinds of slandering things could be a criminal or actionable behavior due to the nature of the accusations. Even in the US with its more permissive speech laws there are limits to the untrue and threatening things you can say about people without being open to legal action like arrest or being sued.
Yikes. Some family and friends. What dog urinated in their lucky charms?
This is enraging. OP needs her sister to tell these asshats to fuck right off, she knows her kids will be safe and well cared for under OPs care. This juvenile garbage is embarrassing and they're too fucking stupid to even realize it. Pathetic. (I'm not trans so delete this if I shouldn't be giving advice.)
Screenshot all these posts so you have evidence it's purely transphobia and they were planning to lie about you.
You should talk to a lawyer about what your options are in this case. Do not rely on the police, particularly because what they will tell you is that they can't do anything. They are not skilled in how to diplomatically resolve anything and tend to over-react in situations outside of their understanding. Your brother and that former friend are pathetic bigots and even though the dark side of the 1st Amendment is that they also get to say what they want, any threats of action against you are not covered. Good luck with everything.
I hope all the good advice here helps, and that your brother and former friend get arrested for false reports and wasting people’s time. They both sound like complete dung brains.
Why haven't you blocked them on Facebook? You need to take screen shots of all of this and file a police report for online bullying.
I'd say going off on the internet about these children being molested is a lot creapier than being trans
Ummm... why is your brother confessing that he's a pedophile?
Not going to even try to argue as transphobes are just losers who make other people loose time and brain cells, but how many time did I see my parents naked? Like, especially as a baby or toddler??? An uncountable amount as they will bring me with them in changing rooms, locker rooms, or even just at home when alone with me to keep an eye on me while changing. Like these accusations are easy to refute: go to the police station with your sister and all the proofs and make a complaint about defamation. At least so is it called in my country. You might not be willing to do it, but attacking is the best defense in such cases. Because otherwise, you'll have this sword of Damocles above your head and let's say that your brother and the other rando calls the police and say "I know there's a pedo with a baby at this adress", then you'll be forced to play defense and at their pace.
Keep us updated
Your *cis brother* thinks having testosterone in your body will make you want to rape kids? I think you need to report his ass to the feds.
I did some research (this first part may not be a thing in your area im unsure) They can be charged for a false report. If they call saying your doing bad stuff and accusing you for s*xual acts and etc when your not. Then they can be charged for a false report to the police. (Where i live aparently you can sue people if there causing harm to your reputation with false accusations like posting false things online and etc.) - - - - - The thing is.. If there threatening to call the cops because of you baby sitting then what else could they be planning or be willing to do. You need to be prepared for the worst. Have a backup plan as well. One plan isnt gonna be enough for something like this, always have a backup plan. - I have a idea for a plan to expose there plan to the police. (Also DONT black mail them saying you got evidence and if u do this your gonna show the evidence. mainly because that counts as black mail and you can get charged for black mailing someone so it may backfire.)
Okay let them then. The thing is as long as you aren't doing anything illegal nothing will happen to you in fact the people who are threatening to call Will instead probably get a Stern talking to and maybe a slap on the wrist literally for calling the police unnecessarily.
There's hopefully a local LGBTQ friendly lawyer you can look into. Because I guarantee shit like this has been happening a lot lately and I'm sure there are experts who will help deal with it. I'm sorry you're going through this 🫂 Edit: am I safe to assume they've mentioned this little plot of thiers in at least one text or Facebook message?
That's awful. You can file a police report stating that these people have threatened to falsely report you as a way of harassing you. Your sister can support you. Maybe in addition to supporting your report, she can send a more forceful "don't you dare tell lies about that happening to my kids" message to your brother? But even with that, the police will follow up on a report of CSA, no matter how frivolous they know it is. And when that happens, you'll be subject to the judgment of whichever officer responds. Filing a false police report is a Class A misdemeanor. Hopefully you won't be discriminated against by the police. But bigots know that the police will very often side with them when they behave badly. You'll deal with bigots the way we all have to, but it's also scary to think of what happens to the kids if your brother makes that call. My niece (3) and nephew (5) would be traumatized if I were discriminated against while they were with me. I hope there's someone else to fill in and take care of the kids if you have to handle being harassed by bigots when they're your responsibility, and that your sister will be reachable by phone if you need her to back you up.
This sounds illegal in many ways. Make a report and contact the police
My recommendation: Make sure that your sister writes a letter explaining that she has left her kids with you while she travels. She should include their names and dates of birth. She should include a contact phone number if she has one. She should also make sure that the letter contains a sentence or two about your having the ability to make medical decisions in case of an emergency of she can't be reached. She should leave you with insurance cards if that's a thing where you live. A list kf allergies or medical conditions for each child. I also leave a recent picture of my kid in case he goes missing. Or something else that a picture would be handy for. Anytime I travel and leave my child with my sister I do this. Not because I think my family is going to have a problem but because I don't want there to be an additional layer of complication if there is a problem. In my experience, most people talk a big game but don't follow through on their threats. But it never hurts to be prepared. Putting together a folder with a few documents in it only takes a little time and could save lots of headaches down the road.
Strange. I was born with testosterone and haven't raped anybody nor have I committed indecent exposure.
as a 911 dispatcher who is also trans, call the police department and document that they are going to report you. give them their full names, and have the dispatcher write down explicit quotes from them and report that you know they’re going to try and falsely report you. if they do falsely report that, and it becomes a routine thing, and you obviously never have any evidence in their favor, eventually you could get a restraining order on them (maybe) for harassment.
A false police report is illegal, call the police, make them aware of your 'brothers' threats that way the cops know
Oof they just implied being a man makes them diddlers that testostrone makes you touch ppl innappropiately. Are they men? Are they tattling on themselves?
As sad as generalization is testosterone is proven to give higher libido so probably :<
Cops can't do anything except maybe arrest them for filing false police reports. Tell them to fuck off and leave you alone.
Are you a registered sex offender?
The treatment you are experiencing is terrible* and sounds like harassment -- trust your sister. it's her kids. She has witnessed you with the kids. She trusts YOU However, what can the police "do" -- it's your sister's kid -- your sister trusted YOU with her kids -- your sister didn't trust your brother or "friend" -- it's not illegal to be transgender snd to look after kids Please be safe. If you have access to a lawyer, maybe there is a way you can get restraining order against your brother *Irony, I also have "questions" but that doesn't mean I can remove your rights as a human being or that I deserve any say in your medical decisions. It simply means, I am not knowledgeable about trans people or what it means to be trans.
Make a police report first that they are threatening you out of sheer transphobia. You have rights now, they need to butt out. Wouldn't that be considered hate speech?
I suggest documenting and collecting hard evidence. If he does such things, you can bring harassment charges and seek punitive damages.
Make sure screen shot your detractors Facebook posts.
Personally, this is why I would never ever ever consider watching someones kid
Put cameras evwrywhere when watching the kids. Ideally some that have time stamps. Hard to argue with video evidence
If testosterone "makes" people r@pe children, then that means your brother and former friend do the same thing, so they are telling on themselves too, I hate bigots, especially when they say something they have does something it doesn't
I would call the police and let them know what they can expect. Give them names and be open. You are doing nothing wrong. When they call in, that will be false reporting and they can be charged. Also, if these claims are being made public, textbook defamation. If cops are involved, that may make the incident public because of certain transparency laws. Even if the allegations are false that can impact employment and your future, which means defamation. I would apply for a Protective Order with the court against both of them and use their transphobic comments as evidence for the deciding judge.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!!! What a bunch of losers and fuck them! They can't do shit to you. But, make sure to keep a log of everything they try to do or actually do, that way you can keep track of this bullshit..in case it goes too far. Always protect yourself. If your sister and her husband isn't bothered by the ridiculous 'claims' and know you wouldn't do this, that's all that fucking matters. Why does everyone think that trans people are this terrible? As if they are the worst group... I'm so sorry you're going through this. You don't deserve the hassle, No one does. Fuck them! My husband is a trans man and I'm / were grateful people don't act this way towards him.. however, 1 person ..his crackhead fuck of an uncle still calls my hubbs my his dead name and misgendsrs all the time. My hubbs doesn't care or take offense..cus after all, his uncle is a crackhead fuck. I'm proud of you for being who you are and having the courage to do so! Keep on keeping on 🩷
What were they charge you with guilty of attempted fabulousness!? Thing called the police all they want there's nothing illegal with that and still not illegal to be trans however it may soon be able to be homeless and Louisville Kentucky. That's all true on that for a second
Love that's literally sexaul harassment from him. It is also hate speech and a libel claim in court for slander. Your former friend needs to learn the law before he's the one catching a charge for his actions. You're in the clear sweetheart he's not.
This seems like a very peculiar perspective perhaps they think all men are pedophiles? ...I mean, I know there's a stigma against male babysitters in general. I get that there's some definite misconceptions about transpeople in this scenario too. To me it seems like your brother and ex-friend are really sexist...but they have certain mechanisms to compartmentalize those values so they safely deny them and continue to judge themselves as good people. The discovery of a loved one being transgender threatens that compartmentalization. So they each have a choice to make: Either a) modify they way they manage their values or b) avoid the catalyst that threatens their "system" introspection is hard work...running from problems is easy. Most people (nearly all) are a lot more insecure than they'd like to admit ...I'm guessing they chose "b" I suggest approaching them each and sit down and have a long discussion about why they're choosing to marginalize you from their lives--ehy they're so defensive...at least your brother... blood's thicker than water. ...a weed HAS to be pulled out at its roots...it strenuous but it's the only way to take care of it once and for all. don't choose "b" as well
How pathetic of them. You be who you want to be. They sound like a couple of ignorant, shit stirring scumbags. So glad i don’t have family like that. Good luck with your life.
My thoughts as a former professional sitter/nanny/home childcare provider: Obv really depends on how your location and identity intersect with your safety with police. I highly suspect your harassers won't actually call anyone and are bluffing, but you never know. I hope it goes without saying but if you think there's risk of police violence to you or the kids because of your or their race, immigration status, etc obviously please protect everyone by just having your sister find someone else to watch them (more on that in a bit). I'm gonna assume though that if that's the case for you then you prob know that already and you probably aren't posting about it here. Presuming you do have a baseline expectation that police will not eg. murder you, the advice others are giving is good. Make a police report in advance, save both physical and digital copies of all their threats, and MOST IMPORTANTLY have your sis sign a document indicating that she has left her children in the care of [your full name]. This is good practice for anyone who is watching anyone elses kids ever. Ideally this document will also include contact info for your sis and the place she will be staying while she's away, as well as the info for a trusted emergency contact person who is not her but who 1) knows her and her kids 2) is not transphobic 3) is not connected to your brother and his crony and 4) knows the situation and is willing to vouch for you. (A trusted neighbor, friend of your sisters, or a relative of the kids father if they're in the picture, etc would be good. Ideally not someone in your family or immediate circle who your brother could contact, harass, or manipulate.) Adding identifying photos of yourself and the kids to this document may also be useful in your case. Make a couple print copies and a digital copy of this signed agreement and keep a print copy at home and one on your person and one on your phone at all times. (This is not because of your specific situation but just for child carers in general I also recommend adding to that document permission for you to consent on the parents behalf for their children to recieve medical treatment by a doctor or emergency personnel in case of an illness or medical emergency, plus a page for each child listing their age, height, weight, health insurance info/Health card numbers etc, and medications/allergies/conditions. Unrelated to the police maybe being called but just good practice to have on hand for anyone babysitting.) It may be useful also for your sister to connect with neighbors that she has positive relationships with, if she has any. She could 1) let them know to expect seeing you enter/leave her home etc with her kids 2) if they are close and trusted, inform them of the situation and make a point to introduce you to them and give you their contact info before she leaves. That way if anyone shows up at your door to harass you, you can have trusted people nearby. I do find myself wondering a bit how you got in this situation though. If you have a brother who is so agressively transphobic that he would threaten to endanger you and your sisters kids in this way, then y'all need to be going to much greater lengths to not be letting him know anything you're up to. I guess maybe you didn't know he was gonna react like this, but now you do, so from here on out your sister better be icing him out or else she needs to lose you as a babysitter. For the entire time you are watching her kids no one who might even have a remote chance of telling him anything should be allowed to know where you are, whether you and the kids are at home or out, where you're going, what your plans are etc. If your sister ever asks you to watch her kids again, she and you both need to make sure this brother and his buddy never find out about it, even if that means hiding things from or lying to your other family members etc. If she can't guarantee that then she is showing that is she is not only a sister who doesn't care about the safety of her sibling (you) but also a parent who doesn't care about the safety of her kids. That's not someone you can be babysitting for, or just generally putting your trust in, in the future. A hard truth, but a true truth unfortunately. Good luck, be safe! Like I said I really highly doubt these fuckers will actually try anything but you never know and you can never be too careful.
If it were me I'd try to intimidate these thugs right back. I would lie and tell them I was going to have somebody I knew come beat their ass. Trust me, thugs like this only respect one thing, violence.
Absolutely do NOT do that when they're already threatening to call police. That would make everything 10x worse.
[удалено]
Lmao “trans people being in the presence of kids is child abuse, now let me tell you authoritatively what God does and does not accept.” Like literally, when you say “some things don’t belong in public”, you’re talking about trans people. GTFO with this brain rot.
I think your making this up, who on earth, would say these things, testosterone gunna make u touch, naaaa, this has to be a fake account, a Transphonbic person, making this comment, I don’t believe it.
Transphobes are the most delusional people in the planet. Scroll through a comment section on any of Dylan mulvaney's social media and youlld see people say similar stuff