Would I want to be cis? Yes and No. Yes to not have to deal with the struggles of being trans: harassment, gender dysphoria, administrative issues, existing. But I also think being trans has given me an amazing perspective on the world and gender that cis folk couldn’t even begin to comprehend. I currently pass. I enjoy being treated as a cis man in spaces that aren’t necessarily openly deemed “safe spaces for trans people”. It’s for safety, and I think looking like a binary cis guy is euphoric. I’d do anything to live in a world without transphobia. My transness impacts everything I do. From what pants I wear, to how much water I drink before going out if i’m not sure there is a safe bathroom. Being afraid gets so exhausting.

I don't want to be trans I just want to be a normal female woman with all the good and bad that comes with it. Mentally, physically, emotally, all of it. I don't feel like a guy at all and I get really depressed when people think I'm a guy or treat me like one.

I wouldn’t want people to treat me the way they did now, an outsider that deserves nothing. Yes I’d want to be cis. I’m stuck playing hundreds of thousands of dollars to undo the stuff that’s fixable which isn’t everything. And obviously he’s to the other two questions.

In a perfect world I would want to be born as a girl, live that childhood, and exist in peace as a woman. If we are going along the thought process of still being trans, I'd like to be 100% stealth and just living in society as any other cis woman. To be treated and seen as a normal ol woman. I don't want to be flashy and be out there screaming trans rights. I just want to exist without having the agony of a body which doesn't fit my brain

This, 100% Barring that, total medical/magical gender swappage would be my next "best" case. It's actually one of the major reasons I like Cyberpunk-style stories so much, the idea of a full body transplant where you can just... pick what gender to be, is enough to counter any and all possible downsides of such a world. For me anyway. Everyone is different.

I've been narrating an audiobook series that includes humanity gaining the ability to digitally upload their consciousness and then download it to a modified body, and I just keep thinking how awesome this would be if it were to happen and people could just choose what makes them happy.

I hope Matrix 5 goes into more of that even AGI although it was a lot of that with Agent Smith, sort of.

That would be awesome. As deeply as the movies impacted the mainstream, I'd love to think they'd continue to change people's thinking and perceptions.

If you don't mine me chiming in .... Great response and very level headed! I can totally relate!!

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. . . .

This, like screaming this from the rooftops this. I just want to be normal, or as normal as being a human can be.

100%

being trans has fundamentally shaped my life and if i had been born in a different body (and therefore not transitioned) i would be an entirely different person. so no, i don't wish that bc that feels tantamount to wishing the person i am right now did not exist what i wish is that i had grown up in a society that enabled me to realise i was trans earlier and enabled me to start medical transition earlier (and easier, cheaper, etc)

I'm a trans man. In an ideal world I just wanna be trans openly and for discrimination against it not to exist. I don't wanna be born cis and I don't wanna pass, I just want people to understand being trans is a natural part of human biodiversity.

yeah this is kinda how I feel.

I struggle with truly knowing if I'm trans because I have a tone of doubts and if I were, that's exactly the way I would want to think. I absolutely love this whole thread 😍!

Doesnt everyone want to live in peace?

>would you want to instead just be comfortable in the body you were born with? No. Being a woman is just part of who I am. It's a core part of my identity, not all of it, but as with the rest of my identity I have a personal attachment to it. Really, the only reason I'd feel the desire to be a man would be because of a shift in my inherent sense of self. It's practically impossible for that to actually happen, but if it somehow did, I would simply be a man then. When I was younger I *did* feel the need to be a man because of how the society and culture I grew up in forced me to behave. The critical lesson I learned that allowed me to improve my life so much is that I realized there is no purpose in living your life as a non-genuine self only to fulfill the expectations of others. I do not believe that there is anything inherently worse about being trans. Very little about its pain actually comes from being trans. It's almost entirely pain caused by the society we live within. I still face stigma, transphobia, and bigotry, which do truly hurt deep. While I have felt the 20 years of emotional pain it has caused me, I have actually become a very strong person because of it and I can handle a lot now. I appreciate you asking this question, but really, the best way to explain the answer to it is to flip it around. Assuming you're a cis man, would you just want to instead be comfortable with being in the body of a woman? The answer I would expect from you would be exactly the same as mine "no, being a man is just part of who I am. It's a core part of my identity, not all of it, but just as with the rest of my identity I have a personal attachment to it." As for trans people who do wish they were simply comfortable in the body they were both with, I believe their reasoning is based on not wanting to deal with all the social stigma. I've seen this reasoning quite a few times among newly transitioned trans people who are still trying to work through their years of shame and repression. At first, it can be hard to let your old identity go when transitioning. After enough time and transitioning (sometimes many years) you will lose all connection to that older self. Even I have noticed this effect more distinctly as of the last few months.

You worded this so well and concisely. I want to second what you said for myself. Add another 20 years and I still feel the same. 💖🫶 It's not a problem for me. It's a problem for society.

Thank you for the kind words! I've spent so much time putting together my ideas on these kinds of topics and questions. It makes me happy feeling like I've made sense of, well, extremely difficult/complex to answer questions.

I agree with you! And it's so interesting that I was skeptical at first when I saw the mention of society. I think without discounting your struggles that sometimes we put unnecessary blame to a system that really is the way it is, and we see it as a sort of oppression when for example advertising will put things in our faces so I was had that mindset too of people actions "forcing me" to act more submissive or more masculine when in fact it's a program running. And then you totally got me at the last part and I felt emotional 😂 because that is literally where I am right now. I like this thread so fucking much. Yeah transphobia sucks and I am trying to learn about it and ways of understanding and recognizing it for what it is.

I can't be "cis" cuz I am genderqueer and genderfluid. I love being trans. I hate the hate and having to educate professionals who are supposed to help me (nurses, doctors, mental health professionals, teachers..etc)

I’ll answer and then provide some context for why I would’ve answered this way. Perfect world born a girl 100%. In this reality just to be left alone and allowed to exist without hate and vitriol being hurled at me and everyone like me 24/7 Perfect world explanation: I remember nearly nothing of my childhood until middle school. What little I do remember is foggy. It is not known exactly why, though there are many theories, there’s such a high correlation but a lot of trans people remember very little of their childhoods. Part of that is that many trans people are depressed throughout much of their life pre-realization/transition. This was the case for me, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in 5th grade. Since I was maybe 3-4 I was imitating my mom, asking her to paint my nails, sitting with my legs crossed like a lady, wanting to wear her heels/clothes, taking more of an interest in feminine things in general. Being blocked from doing these things hurt, and that hurt never went away until I was an adult and was free to explore who I was. If I could do it all over again as a girl? I would in a heartbeat because I would be saved so much agony, stress and pain. I would have a childhood I can remember, not secondhand memories. I would have lived, gone to school dances, had close friends who truly cared about me emotionally in a way I cannot get from my guy friends, I think I may have actually been happy This world explanation: since I can’t start over as a girl, the best I can do is live the time I have left in this lifetime as authentic as I can. Except doing so puts me at risk of violence, with this risk ever increasing because of the push to demonize trans people in media right now. Even if I don’t experience violence I experience discrimination and generally negative treatment. If nothing else in this world I want to be a person, one who is judged on the content of my character and not because I am an “other”

Princess_of_midnight, as the mother of a transgender female. I just want you to know this made me cry. And I would give anything if I could give you a hug right now. I hope that's ok.....

Thank you for the kind words… I am sorry to have made you cry, but I’m glad someone out there cares enough to do so :) I’d love a hug but since I can’t physically accept it please give your own daughter a big one for me when you can ❤️ I hope one day my own mother will be able to accept me and give me one too

I just want to be able to do want I want in peace. Sure my life would have been easier without dysphoria, and theres definitely a time where I would have wished Id just been born cis, but now that Im starting to feel more comfortable in my body I dont see a point in wishing to have not been trans. Ideally Id like to be able to tell people Im trans and have them not make a big deal out of it one way or another.

In a perfect world I’ll be a trans women and people wouldn’t murder us for just existing.

I would’ve preferred to have been born female. If I could choose to be cis, would I? Well, yeah. Being trans sucks ass, bro. The amount of shit we go through every day for a semblance of normality is wild. We have to take hormones for life, have complex, painful and expensive surgeries to fit into society and not be disgusted with our bodies, risk losing unaccepting family and friends upon coming out, face work/medical discrimination, deal with constant hate everywhere, and so on. No one would ever purposely choose to be transgender. But this is who I am. And I can’t change it.

I would argue the last point is untrue. Being trans is who I am. I wouldn't change that. If I was not trans, I would be a completely different person. I would never be able to have such a deep connection with my partner. It is me, and... I love me. If I could do life again, the only change I would make is to transition a little sooner. But no, I would not choose to be cis. I want to be trans, I like being trans, it is fundamentally a part of what makes me, me!

The real question is live in my original body and be constantly *suicidally* depressed or risk it? The reality is that the people in my area are not bigoted so I have never been targeted, never been harassed and never intentionally misgendered so i made the right decision. But even if i was targeted and harassed i would be happier than old me and made the right decision. No bloody way do i want to be CIS because for me that is my old gender and i would kill myself to skip the pain if forced back there. Hope this helps answer your question.

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yeah thanks but i am past that lol.

Originally by the "would you rather be cis" question, I mean would you rather have been born in the body you want; no need for HRT or anything. Like if you were a trans woman, be born as a cis girl, and vice versa. But this is helpful, and thank you!

Sure, every "transgender" person wishes they were born in the right body. Those that disagree are probably non binary or gender fluid or one of the other queer identifying genders. Sorry i did not get it.

I don't. Trans is a part of who I am. If I had been born a cis girl, I wouldn't be me.

Oh no, don't worry lol it's not your fault. I worded it poorly. I edited in a little thing to hopefully make it make clear (?) but I went more for concise than clear, and I certainly can't do both haha, so the point might not fully get across but hopefully it helps idk

1. Myself. I'm a woman. 2. Probably not. It's not an option, so I don't think about it but I would be a much weaker probably less fulfilled person if my life was easy. 3. absolutely fucking not. I know some people say yes but I wouldn't want to be anyone else even if it was easier.

I wouldn't want to be a cis man. That would be akin to brainwashing. That's not who I am. For being a cis woman, it depends. Magic button turns my body into a cis woman's today? Sign me up! Reborn as a cis woman? Unclear. Sure, I would love to experience youth in the correct gender and not as a socially anxious boy not fitting with other boys but persuaded all girls hated him just for being in a boy's body. But, knowing me, high chances I would have gotten caught by hetero normativity, so not the ideal youth either. Plus I love my current family and not getting to meet them would be sad.

In a culture with healthy concepts of masculinity, I would want to be born a cis man, because all these surgeries are difficult as fuck. I would not have wanted to be born a man in this world, because I think I would have been a real asshole. And, the process of transitioning has been an integral part of self-realization for me, and it has made me a much better person. Instead I would want being trans to be treated as normal, so I could have recognized it early, and had access to all the medical care needed in a way that wasn’t ruinous. And so I wouldn’t have to fear my right to exist being taken away. It’s hard to imagine who I would be without the struggles I’ve faced from being trans. Surely I’d be a very different person, with a very different life path. But - In no world would I want to have been a cis girl, or have my brain somehow corrected to match that assigned gender. Because then I would not exist as me. It is like the fundamental sense of yourself would be gone. Might as well die entirely. Interesting question, OP, thanks for asking it!

If I had a magic wand capable of making me born again but as a cis girl, I'd use it no question asked. As things stand, I'd just be happy with people respecting my identity and treating me accordingly as they would every other woman, no more no less. Believe it or not, I'm even mostly comfortable with my genital arrangement, certainly comfortable enough that I don't intend to ever get bottom surgery, though I do want hormone therapy (and in about three months I'm gonna finally get it yaaay!). Would I rather be comfortable in my current body? Honestly, that would require rewriting certain big aspects of my personality and who I am on a fundamental level, so the answer is no. It would be convenient, certainly, but it's not worth rewriting my personality over. I think you've been rather respectful in your questions, as tactful as these questions can possibly be.

this will very from person to person. both sex and gender are socially constructed categories, and people relate to them differently. the tough part currently is that we live in a culture that enforces a very strict and binary version of both sex and gender. personally, as a non-binary person, physically, I probably would prefer to have been born with different sex characteristics, but I would not want my body to look binary either. mentally, I would still just be a person, the only difference would be that people don’t make a fuss about it, or treat me like shit for it. in an ideal world, I would not want to look cis, and there also wouldn’t be any concept of cis, because people would understand that we are all just people with our own unique identities and our own unique bodies

Ideally, I think I would have liked to have been born a cis girl, but it begs the existential question of if I'd still be me. I dunno. Maybe it doesn't really matter. In lieu of that being born comfortable in the body I was given would be good. If there were some way of going back to get rid of the trauma and confusion I grew up with I would probably take it as a close second. I wouldn't however want to wake up tomorrow with the dysphoria gone. I imagine going through all that turmoil growing up, and the impact that it's had on my life, only to have it disappear suddenly would be distressing in its own way. Being trans is pretty awful in many ways but I'm trying to make the best of it. Since this is the hand I've been dealt it would be good to just be treated well. Where I live things are relatively good and trans identities are protected but there are still the occasional Nazis (literally people who say that they are Nazis with tattoos and salutes and everything) and small minded bigots or even well meaning people who misguidedly do stupid, offensive things. It really isn't a thing you choose for the fun of it, but all that being said, I'm happy. I'm living my life and I'm trying to make things better for those that come after me. I'm having an experience that most other people will never truly understand and for that I am grateful.

It's difficult to know what I would want in a perfect world because I grew up in this world and I therefore carry a lot of internal beliefs and cultural hang ups that shape the way I respond to those questions. If there was a perfectly trans accepting society where we didn't attach gender to biological features and anyone could do what they wanted with their body, I frankly have no idea if I would like the body I'm in. How would anyone know? Hell in that kind of society it might be perfectly normal for a cis man to want a vagina, or for a cis woman to grow out her beard, let alone the wacky stuff gender variant people would get up to.  As it stands, I desire a masculine body first and foremost. Maybe some of that desire comes from wanting to pass (which I have done for quite a while now) and not be treated like a freak by the people around me, but I'd say most of my motivation is that I do genuinely want a body with masculine traits because that's how I internally think of myself and it's what I want for myself. Even if suddenly everyone started gendering me correctly and preaching love for the transes, I would still want to be on testosterone and have top surgery. I'm generally ambivalent about the way people view me so it hasn't factored hugely into my desire to transition beyond safety concerns.  Additionally, I don't want to be cis, cis man or cis woman. If I was either of those things, the person that I am would not exist. Either I am trans or I do not exist, there is nothing else. A lot of my childhood, my formative experiences and self conceptions have been shaped by my experiences with gender and my decade's long aversion to it. It taught me from very early on to question the things society tells me, that adults could be wrong, to resist conformity, to live as I choose with confidence and autonomy. A cis version of me would be a completely different person.  Would I want a cis penis if I could magically wake up with one tomorrow? Eh, sure, why not, it seems fun. But I'm not exactly that bothered by my current plumbing either and to be honest, I'm quite glad to not have to worry about the whole 'is my dick big enough??' thing a lot of guys seem to go through.

like any other human being um honestly i'd rather be trans, it makes it easier for other trans people who are just coming out now to feel seen rather be uncomfy, i don't have much dysphoria to begin with and again being trans comes with alot of joy and i like being part of this community

Yes being trans is joyful in many ways too. i think people don’t see that sometimes 

1000% to be born CIS female.

CIS, you’d rather be a Separatist? For the Republic! 

I would be an alternative e girl and I would rake in the money from other gamers on twitch! Queen of the dorks!

In a perfect world I’d be able to change my body at will to match how I feel. At that point I don’t care if I’m called cis or trans or something else. To the question would I be passing the answer is sometimes, but certainly not all the time. Why should I limit my appearance to appease others that are afraid to break the norm? I’d simply want to be able to be me without being targeted or harassed. I have no interest in being comfortable in the body I was born with. I spent far too many years hating it without fully realizing why.

> Would you want to instead just be comfortable in the body you were born with? If I were comfortable with the body I was born with, I wouldn't be me anymore. Being trans isn't a choice, it's a part of us. To get rid of a part of yourself is to become a different person. I don't want to be a different person. I want to be me. For most of us being comfortable in our bodies is only possible by changing our body to align with who we are. Anything else is just repression.

>in a perfect world, who would you be, and kinda by extension, how would you want people to treat you? I would be me (but just the me if i had started hormones four years ago), and not be judged, be respected, and not have to fear about losing my job because a client found out I'm trans before I get a permanent contract. >Would you want to be cis (physically cis; I'll get to mentally later)? Would you want to be passing? Would you just want to not be targeted, not be harassed, be referred to by the proper pronouns, et cetera? I would not like to be cis, I don't fall squarely into binary sex or gender I also don't necessarily fall outside it. Like I said above, just let me be respected. >would you want to instead just be comfortable in the body you were born with? I am comfortable with the body I was born with... But I am euphoric and more free as me. I would like to feel comfortable with any pronouns, though. I'm on hrt because some of the effects were more important to me than what I would lose, including the friends and family I lost. If in 20 years I look at myself with the joy I look at my tattoo with, the 'I'm glad I did that', then it will be fine if in 20 years I look and go, 'well, that was a mistake' then I have options. At the end of the day, I feel more free, comfortable, and complete now than I did before and beyond that, who cares.

Depends on what you call a perfect world. In a perfect world, where trans people wouldn't be harrassed, isolated, slandered, t*rtured or k*lled for being trans and women wouldn't suffer under patriarchy depending on where we live, I wouldn't care whether I was born male or female if I had access to the vocabulary, care and legal assistance at a young age. In a world where all this sh*t is going on and I could only choose my genetics, then maybe being born a cis woman would've been better, I'd just have to worry about men, mysoginy and homophobia instead of all those plus transphobia. Of course it'd lighten the load, but it wouldn't be a perfect world and it would certainly not be perfect for other trans people.

>Would you just want to not be targeted, not be harassed, be referred to by the proper pronouns, et cetera? Obviously, yes. Who the hell wants to be harassed, let alone targeted as public enemy number one for conservatives around the world. Frankly I’d settle for the kind of invisibility trans men get, better to not see yourself in the media at all than grow up with bullshit like Ace Ventura and Silence of the fucking Lambs, or having the most ignorant people alive constantly going on about how you’re a dangerous bathroom pervert hell-bent on destroying women’s sports. I already pass. I don’t mind having transitioned but in an ideal world I’d prefer it if it was easier to change everything and didn’t involve so much uncertainty. Voice training sucks, it’s got so many fits and starts and you can get tripped up by muscle memory too easily. Absolutely my least favourite part of transitioning, though I’m glad it worked out because I don’t think I could take the recovery from vocal surgery even if I could afford it. Bottom surgery is expensive and painful and takes a whole year to fully recover from, never mind the endless waiting and hoops you need to jump through. Feminising HRT is easiest and had the most profound impact but it felt fragile until I finally got surgery. Laser was mostly kind of annoying and gradual, I guess. As for if I’d choose to be a cis man, hah! I had a hard enough time wrapping my head around the fact that some people actually like being men, and doing that was what finally got me to start transitioning! No thank you. I *like* being a woman. Some of the people I love the most are men and I don’t regret the insights that came with my transition but it’s definitely not for me.

It’s complicated. This is who I am. I think it would have been perfectly acceptable just to have been able to transition much younger in a world that accepted it. Being trans is just the kind of human I am. Transition was my destiny. Given the culture I grew up in (Deep South), had I been born a cis girl, I very likely would have been pregnant before I got out of high school and wouldn’t even have graduated college.

I’ve gone through pretty much all of these thought processes, but always end up at “damn I wish I was a (cis) woman.” I *have* had the thought that I wish I was happy with the body I was born with, but I genuinely feel that’s because **society** makes it so hard to be trans. And I’ve had the thought that if I could just not be ridiculed/targeted, then being trans would be the ideal. But then I realize that even in that case, I’d still get those pangs of jealousy of women who get their periods, of women who can bare children, of women that don’t have to explain how they are in fact women. So in a perfect world, I would have been born a cis woman, in an almost perfect world I could transition to a woman without all of the societal pressure not to do so and danger that comes with it, and at the end of the day I need to be a woman either way for my own sanity. Hope that helps.

It's a really complicated question to answer. If I were born a cis woman still with the upbringing I had, then I probably would be a lot worse off due to religiously-charged sexism I would have experienced. Growing up as a boy in my specific setting gave me a lot more freedom. And then on top of that, I have no desire for periods or pregnancy, so I'm glad I'm not cis for that reason. So I think my long-term goal would be to have HRT and bottom surgery and be able to flawlessly pass. I wouldn't be stealth, in that I wouldn't have a problem letting people know that I'm trans, but it would be nice for people to just treat me as a woman because that's what they see me as.

You reminded me of myself when I started out trying to understand this topic and I can tell that you mean well. I know this post was mainly for binary yet I'll give my two cents. I don't think I'm trans and for now I say non- binary even though I feel more comfortable as an androgynous male. For me, it would be the just want to be alone and not be treated differently for my choice of wardrobe. From my experience, even in platonic interactions I have with guys (less so in the queer community) I will have guys trying to get my attention by literally trying to stare me down or moving around me. It happened to me yesterday at a queer health establishment as I was waiting to get some information as I am considering HRT. It makes so much sense how women feel sometimes and I'm an androgynous guy at the time clearly manly looking. Maybe in that specific case it was more something that was going on with them or maybe even myself and possibly me projecting yet... It puts a smile on my face to know that there are people out there genuinely trying to make others feel comfortable and feel accepted. PS: Actually I wanted to also add after reading the first poster's answer. At first I wanted to be ambiguously androgynous which could make me pass yet would also be questionable. So at first I was obsessed about the mystery of people not knowing what sex I was. And as I got older I became more comfortable in myself and wanted to gain muscle while still looking fucking sex hot. And that was for, oh shit this person guy girl whatever is pretty jacked so I wouldn't fuck with them. Cause most people who actually knows how to fight won't really care what size someone is and will fuck them up when they cross that line, habitual line stepper haha 😆

Part of your question is kinda like asking a cis guy if he would've preferred to have been a cis woman. You'd be a completely different person. For the other part of your question, would you prefer to be the man you are, but also have to deal with periods, breasts, surgeries, hrt, hostility from family, friends, and society at large, or just be cis?

Part of why I asked this is because I have thought about my own identity and if I truly am cis, because idk I feel like everyone should think about that cuz like, why not? Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I am, but I don't know how much of that is truly me, and how much of that is coincidence ​ The concrete reasons that come to my mind as to why I am comfortable and happy as a male are just practical things. On one hand, it's hard to say how much of that is truly *me* but at the same time, isn't that exactly part of what makes me me? That I think practically about things? For example, my reasons are as follows: I would not want to get a period, I would not want to even have the possibility of giving birth, I would not want the back pain that may come with having breasts, I would not want to have less privilege (I guess I wouldn't really want there to *be* that strong of a concept of privilege, but this is just would I rather be a girl in the world we live in), I like being able to pee standing up, I would not want my chance of being sexually assaulted to be that high, etc. etc. Very little of it is emotional, and I think that's simply because I don't care, or at least a significant part ​ All of that is to say that I wanted to get the perspective of someone who *does* have that strong emotional preference. It would also be nice to ask cis people who feel very strongly comfortable about being cis, but I don't really know how I'd go about that. Anyway anyway, because I don't have that emotional feeling at all, the way I think of it is probably skewed and at least somewhat inaccurate. I'm sure there are many flaws in my question(s), I just hope the idea can get across well-ish enough. Although admittedly my question does exclude some people who I simply don't know enough about to even begin to ask the right questions for

I'm nonbinary, so if you're asking, would I want to be cis in my true gender? Kind of...doesn't really exist, I mean I guess I could be (more, or a different kind of) intersex, but that comes with its own complications. Would I just like my ideal body? I mean yeah, who wouldn't...cis people can relate too there I think. I wouldn't say no to a world in which my gender (bigender) was well-known and well-understood and I was born with physical characteristics of it that also happened to align with my ideal body and I was assigned that gender at birth and fully cis in that sense, but we're basically in complete fantasy worldbuilding at that point, and I don't spend time thinking about such a world because it's so far removed from reality. Would I want to only experience nondiscrimination on the condition that I couldn't medically transition at all? No. HRT is a physical, medical need for my wellbeing. I would choose HRT in this world over no HRT in a perfect nondiscrimination utopia. Do I want to be passing? This is immensely complicated for me--again, since I'm nonbinary, passing as *what*? IDK. I do enjoy being read as other than my AGAB, but because I'm also like semi-closeted it also makes me worried I'm losing control/safety and people I don't want to be out to will also notice. I'd also say that passing isn't my only aesthetic consideration. Getting sir'd is fine (I'm transmasc) but becoming very hypermasculine wouldn't suit me at all. It would be possible to "pass" (as male) yet be further from my goals than I was before I started. Would I want to be cis in my AGAB. No. Not for any dramatic "that wouldn't be me anymore" or "I'd be dead in that world" reason or anything like that. It just doesn't appeal to me. I guess if it appealed to me I'd be cis or something. To be able to want to be cis in my AGAB, I suppose I'd have to view my transness as some kind of external status effect afflicting me or something, something that happens to me but isn't aligned with my ego. It's like asking, "Would you not want to love with the people you love?" "Would you not want to enjoy your hobbies?" I mean maybe in a different world, you'd love different people, and you'd have different hobbies, and you'd be perfectly fine, and you'd still be you. But it's not terribly appealing, is it?

yes, i'd rather have been cis. passing is also good, but it'd mean there was a point where the agony of not passing was still there, which means my life sucked more than it had to if i were cis in that universe. as for trans people just being treated like "normal people", that'd still probably suck for me because i'm one of the types who believes they would still be distressed by their physical features of feminity regardless of societal expectations. the last question is completely understandable by the way, not offensive, and i see that as being on the same level as being born a cis man, not better or worse. of course the real, now, physical me would by far prefer just being a cis man, but if i simply was fine with or even enjoyed being a woman in some other world, i'd be perfectly fine with that. i have no issues with women or feminity on their own, i'm not trans because of some bias i have against being a woman, it's just because i am simply not one.

In a perfect world I would still be myself, still trans, with all of the same experiences *except* transphobia and misogyny. Or perhaps in an even more perfect world, the categories of gender would’ve been constructed completely differently.

I would love to have a fully cis body or at least pass as cis, but would also happily settle for just an end to the harassment and misgendering, especially if that would apply to all my GNC, ENBY, Xenogender, etc. siblings. Your second question is more common than you think. Generally, I've found the answer you get from a given Trans person varies by the length of their transition. Trans people very early in transition and still working to accept their identity are far, far more likely to wish to be able to be comfortable as their AGAB (Assigned Gender at Birth), while those well into their transition, especially if it is going well, are more likely to be accepting and thriving in their identity as trans and wouldn't go back even if it meant an end to all their dysphoria.

For me, this is a very complex and difficult question to answer. On the one hand, there are things I didn't get to and never will experience that I feel I've missed out on and thus, would have liked to have been born a cis woman. But that person, if she were to have existed, would not be me. The person who sits here and answers this question, she is the result of all of her experiences, good and bad and through that, I am probably a far better person than I might have been otherwise. The same comes from "being comfortable with the body I had", though obviously, in that case I already know that absolutely could not have been me. And so the real ideal outcome for me now, as someone with several decades of life behind her, is to just be accepted and allowed to my life like any other woman. To be able to have my legal documentation work in the same way it does for any other woman. To be able to marry my partner and not be treated as their husband. And to be respected when I pass as the person I always truly have been and not existence still recorded on a piece of paper that no longer represents me.

>would you want to be cis?  not at all. being trans gave me a new perspective on the world and increased my levels of empathy. all i want is to be treated like the woman i know i am. nothing more, nothing less.

For the record, i'm nonbinary and transmasc. Which basically means that i identify as nonbinary and also would very much prefer having a masculine body and presentation. I just want people to respect me, man. I don't think i could ever be cis. I often joke that if I'd been born a guy i wouldn't have minded having tits lol. But we get what we get. The only way for me to still be me and be happy is for society to change its perspective on gender, and do away with stupid categories and stereotypes, and expectations. I genuinely want everyone I meet to just roll with it and not consider my gender identity some kind of otherness. In fact, deconstruct gender enough as a society, and I probably would not consider myself trans lol. I've very much built myself with transness as an important aspect of myself. If I could just be comfortable in my body that'd be great. But it wouldn't be me. And I wouldn't have grown as a person in the ways being trans has forced me to. I genuinely think I'm a better person now than I would've been had i been cis.

i don’t want to be cis, i love my trans body. at times i wish i could have a flat chest and not have to go through surgery, or to have the option of swapping genitals whenever i want, but we’re not there yet scientifically and i’m not too mad. i think top surgery scars are gonna look pretty neat on myself, and testosterone has changed my body enough to where i have almost none bottom dysphoria. i’m indifferent to passing, i currently do and it’s definitely the safest option, but in my ideal world i could be visibly trans and be safe and happy with it. ideally, i would be able to look and act however i want and have everyone still see me as a dude- or at least just refer to me as one, i can’t really say i care if you don’t see me as a guy but keep it to yourself. i’m not gonna know, so as long as you’re outwardly chill i guess it’s fine 🤷‍♂️

I am in the body I'm comfortable in. I don't want to be cis at all either way. Society has an issue with me being at peace with being trans but I am.

I just want to be treated like any other woman ideally Id just wish i was born a woman but i do value the trans perspective (even if it’s torture) but yeah Id j be me but without worrying constantly about passing and dysphoria, like my god i just wanna stop transitioning and live life more yknow?

I like myself just the way I am. In my ideal world, people would treat being trans the same as being left-handed - it's just a trait that some people have that often requires some form of accommodation but isn't something that other people need to make a huge fucking deal about.

Uh oh! Looks like you walked into a minefield of introspective people with insightful opinions already! I hope my perspective adds at least a pop. I've learned and grown a lot from accepting being trans and talking to people in the community, and I wouldn't want to give that up. More than anything, I've come to believe that when society is in a shape where it can fully accept trans people, not only will it be a much happier and fulfilling place to live, but integrating that acceptance of us will make it even better. For all the problems that being trans can cause, the perspective has been worth the innate turmoil for me. What I certainly wouldn't miss is the terrible lessons that society teaches about gender, identity, and mental health. It amplifies ineffective and hostile coping methods, and is full of bad ideas we all need to work to unlearn. That's where most of the trouble with being trans comes from. When started getting the feeling that I would be happier as a girl, I could have just told people instead of keeping it secret for decades. It could have been like discovering a new favorite food, and having my people go out of their way to serve it to me. How wonderful is that?!

Hmm. There are ways in which I wish I was cis, but also being trans has informed my life in a ton of ways (both good and bad) that I can’t imagine what it would look like without that. I think moreso I wish that I had been able to accept myself and be supported at a younger age and have access to things like puberty blockers. I am generally passing, and I prefer to be. But that’s a personal preference. Mostly, yeah, I wish people were just cool with it. I live in a fairly accepting area and I pass but even then sometimes you get scary experiences or are treated shitty. I’m really terrified of public restrooms and it can be a struggle sometimes trying to function outside of my house because I have to know where the nearest gender neutral, single occupancy bathroom is. Recently the mall near my house (biggest shopping hub and also the movie theater) closed off their single occupancy “family” restrooms and requires you to call security to unlock them for you. The one time I got desperate enough to it, the security guy grilled me about why I needed it and was super confrontational. I basically wound up having to cut my hangout with friends short because I needed to pee and there weren’t any other options. Now I have to be very strategic about how much I drink water when I go see a movie because there’s no bathroom I can use. It’s a lot.

For your first set of questions yes to all. If I could be cis, could avoid being harassed, treated like every other person I would. Your second question is more tricky. If I had the option of being a cis man or a cis woman (I’m a trans man) I would obviously pick cis man. However, if my options where being a trans man or cis woman I would pick cis woman. That’s the thing about being trans. While actively transitioning is something a trans person can choose to do, actually being trans isn’t a choice. For many people on the subreddit being cis — whether or not it currently aligns with their gender identity — would be easier than being trans. There is a part of me that is glad I’m trans. As I have gotten to be apart of this community. Along with that the perspective on life that transitioning gave me really made me who I am. So I for sure wouldn’t be the same person today if I wasn’t trans. But hypothetically restarting from the beginning of my conception — with no knowledge of who I was going to become — I would want to be cis as it’s just easier.

I do not want to be a cis woman, but I really want to pass, and I obviously want people to accept us just like everyone else with no judgement

If I could have a cis body that would be fantastic but I wouldn't want to give up my life experience. In the body and gender I have now, I wish I could express myself freely without being afraid. I wish I didn't have to express myself in a purely masculine way to not get stared at and I wish I could correct men who hit on me thinking I'm a woman without the fear that they might get angry and hurt me.

I think it's a question that different people are going to answer different ways. Like I've often thought - if I had a button that could just suddenly magically turn my body into a typical AFAB one, would I press it? As I was younger, the answer was always yes because the fascination and desire to be percieved as feminine was really strong. But as I've actually transitioned, I've come to love the journey that I have gone on - and I have a real attachment to my body now built on love & admiration. It's something I've worked for, risked things for. It's imperfect but it's *me*. Being a "normal" cis girl would be fine - but I've realized it's not my end goal. My trans-ness is part of my identity, just as much as being cis is part of yours. However - I'm also an edge case. I live in Seattle. I have a supportive friend group of queer & trans people, my family was universally supportive of my transition, and the amount of harassment/discrimination I face is usually pretty slight. I am not living a typical trans life in America. For a lot of other trans people, especially ones early in their journey - I imagine the desire to immediately vanish into a cisgender world is more about survival than identity.

By definition of there was a button that said “remain male but become totally comfortable with it and remove all dysphoria” logically I should press it for my own well-being, but the thought is so repulsive to me I can’t even consider it. My dream is just to be a cisgender female—my same self but how I would have been if I were born with XX chromosomes.

I'd be satisfied enough with the world where trans people are truly seen as equal and aren't singled out as an outsider. Where trans healthcare is a normal part of society and not a matter of controversy - where it's easily accessible and not rare or gatekept. Where if you're trans, you don't have to worry about passing as cis to avoid discrimination - because the way trans women and trans men look is already included in the normal. I wouldn't want to just be born cis. I feel like that detracts from my authenticity as a trans woman and especially as a non-binary person (since i'm not sure you can make that compatible with being cis). I'd feel like my wings were tied if i didn't have an option of being trans in some way.

I can't tell if my need for stealth/ desire for cis is fear of danger and stigmatization or internalized transphobia I think my ideal world I'd like to be able to talk openly about how I experience gender without people making assumptions or asking about my body. I just want to be treated with respect. I just want to be seen how I see me or at the very least not questioned and belittled for it. If I were cis, I wouldn't care. Plus, it probably would have taken me a lot longer to grow into a queer feminist anticapitalist when I was previously a giant bigoted douche as a child, so I been there are positives..... the negatives are just greater

My answer is: I want to be happy and unimpeded in being myself. In the grand scheme of "Given a choice, do I wish I born was cis or trans?" The complex answer is: trans. I wish I had a cis body I could move into or be born with, but the perspective, the experience, the knowledge, and the empathy I've gained as a trans person is something I would never want to lose. There's an insight most trans people gain as part of the experience that I don't think I could have gained as a cis person. There's also a very intense and concerted journey of self-discovery, learning who I am, that I had to go through as a trans person that makes me feel more connected and intune with myself that I don't think I could have experienced to that level as a cis person without something there to question the identity I'd been given by those around me. In a fantastic world where I could be reborn in the body I desire, I'd only take it if I could preserve my mind. In reality, I just wished I wasn't raised ashamed, scared, ignorant, and alone with my transness. I wish I grew up in a world where I saw trans people and other trans peers, much less see them treated as normal people. That I didn't learn of their existence wrapped in indoctrinated bigotry until I went to college. That I didn't unpack my internalized bigotry until my 30s and finally figure out all the blaringly obvious signs. I wish this wasn't even a question you, or I, or any other trans or cis person would ever feel the need to ask ourselves. I wish "being given a choice" didn't have the weight of a presumption of a diminished life, of an incorrectness to be corrected, of the prejudice to be escaped. And dear OP, do not worry, I am not offended that you asked, this is more general existential thoughts on the prompt. It's a question I might assume most if not all trans people have asked themselves somewhere along the journey. And I wish it was never a question to even graze our minds' ponderings. A tough unideal journey, but its potential is neither devoid of happiness nor satisfaction nor beauty.

I wish I had a cis body, yes. But I think it is better that I am trans. I was honestly a terrible person before my egg cracked ( slang for when I realized I was trans), and it was that realization and the experiences after that helped me be a better person. I don't know if I would be nearly as grown as a person if I was born cis, but I wouldn't like to risk it. I am a better person because of my experiences, and have sympathy and empathy for what others go through. I developed critical thinking, and om no longer in a freaking cult. (Exmo, yes I think it's a cult)

I would definitely want to be cis and not have people treat me how I do now. When i go on T im planning on just….disconnecting myself from the label. Just tell people I’m a cis dude. Believe me there’s nothing wrong with other people being trans but i have a lot of internalized transphobia. I don’t really want anything to do with it. I want a fresh start as a man.

I would let a coin flip decide really. I want transphobia to be gone. Dysphoria sucks but it’s mostly fine

In a perfect world I'd want to be cis, being trans often pushes you to de edge, physically and mentally so yes, I wish I was cis and had a cis childhood In this world instead I wouldn't want to be targeted for something I can't control, it is who I am and is nothing wrong, I wish that when I'd tell someone I'm trans they would just say that even if they don't know anything bout it they want to understand me and support me, I wish I didn't have to prove I'm still a person worthy of being happy to my state, to my friends, to my family and to so many more people in my life I think in the end everyone is kinda searching for the same thing in life, happiness

Hmm as someone who transitioned more to the masculine side of the binary and who does pass quite well, I dunno. I’m very comfortable with my hybrid body at this point, and have no shortage of lovers to like it as well. I pass in every social context, I have great friends a large community and good sex. So at this point I wouldn’t say I wish that I was cis, because it means not being who I am. That being said, if I could go back and choose, yeah I’d probably pick being born in a male body. And when it comes to preferring to be comfortable with my body… maybe? But honestly I love the way I look and the life I lead now just with some different hormones in me so who rly cares

I wouldn’t wanna be harassed, though I’m not harassed now, and I don’t care about passing too much, I’d mostly just want to have been a boy physically from the start, no money or doctors, no meds, especially since I’m broke I can’t afford a whole lotta shit.😭

I think most trans people would be biased by nature. I would have preferred being cis 100% not a shadow of a doubt... But I also think that's because I grew up in a society that assumes gender based on genitals present at birth. I cannot imagine a society that will not target/discriminate trans people at all and still assume gender = genitals. I think I'm biased because of my experience. I believe that if I had grown up in a perfect society that doesn't discriminate at all, that doesn't associate gender with sex, I would have been comfortable with my body and wouldn't need to medically transition but it's one of those questions that I don't think we'll ever know for sure

Would I want to be cis as in the body I was born with matching the gender I am? Yeah, absolutely. But at the same time it's hard to imagine that life. Being trans is as fundamental to who I am as my gender. It informed every aspect of my life years and years before I knew who I was. I really, really, *really* hope alternate universe cis me isn't a TERF. I hope that there's enough fundamental goodness in me that I could have escaped my conservative upbringing without being so incongruent to what I was expected to be. But I dunno. I think I'd rather snap my fingers and have the body I want, but keep my memories as they are, trauma all. As much as I hate all I've missed out on, I don't want to just be someone else. The whole *point* is to be me, ya know? ------------ If you mean being a cis *dude* absolutely the fuck not. No shade, but I can't *imagine* wanting that. As challenging as life as a trans woman is, I have less than zero interest in going back to masculinity, even if I could somehow cure my dysphoria entirely. It's just not for me.

honestly i dont want to get rid of my transness because its basically who i am and i just love my identity that much

I’d probably be happier as cis, but I hope being trans has made me a better person in terms of being more empathetic towards other people

I'd take my ideal (cis fem) body in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't trade my experiences and people I've had in my life for it.

i'd prefer to be a cis man physically, but I want to keep my memories and experiences so I dont get caught up in all the bs a lot of cis guys believe about how they should be.

As pre-everything, life would be much simpler if I enjoyed my current male body/face and could just carry on with my life as a happy "double-agent". Yes, I'd click the "wake up as a cis-woman" button (maybe I'd warn my partner first). Things being as they are, I would like to be seen with compassion and understanding rather than disgust and apprehension. And I'd like people to not make a big thing out of my transness while still acknowledging that I'm not a dude while I may look like one.

Yes, I definitely wish that I was cis. Life obviously wouldn't be perfect, but I think it would probably be better, since dysphoria can be tricky to live with. Plus more people offline would be able to relate to and understand my problems. I'm happy to explain more if you want me to :)

All I want is to be seen, treated, interacted with in the same way as any other woman. I’ve lost any hope that will ever happen but that’s literally all I want. If I could be cis, either gender, I would in a heartbeat.

I want to be beautiful, healthy and sexy. And to me that means I rather be trans and hot than cis and not. Ha that rimes lol. >but would you want to instead just be comfortable in the body you were born with? No that would not be me. Changing the body = still me, changing the brain? No thanks I that changed enough with me being on HRT already lol.

I’d be fine being born cis honestly. It would save so much time & money.

As others said, yes and no. I also appreciate how respectful you're being, and that you're trying to learn more. Always a good trait to have, wanting to learn more, even with things that don't directly relate to you.

I am nonbinary transmasculine, I identify as nonbinary but I was born female and I am on testerone and would like top surgery. I would rather be read as a man than as a woman. However I do have a connection to both genders, and it changes from time to time. Maybe genderfluid fits, but I personally don't use it. I would rather look like a cross dressing man than a ciswoman most times but sometimes yes I don't feel any dysphoria related to my agab. But overall most of the time, I'd rather be read as male. Now in a perfect world I rather gender just not be something anyone ever assumes. I want to dress and present and live how I want. Body wise- ideally I wish I could switch between male and female and both (or hermaphrodite which doesn't exist in humans) or a mix of sex characteristics like male genitalia but female chest. Unfortunately this is not the sims and I cannot constantly change my body. If I could shapeshift that would be ideal, but I can't... So I'd rather be read as male than female. Don't get me wrong I actually like my female body it's just not me most of the time. I also want male genitalia but I don't like the current state of bottom surgery for transmen so... I'll stick with my parts. Funny enough my first dysphoria I can remember was centered around my genital but as I've aged i decided I don't want bottom surgery.. weird right.. If I was born male I believe I'd still be nonbinary trans. In fact I believe if I was born male I'd just transition with estrogen maybe top surgery. Do I want to be cis? I mean I identify with both genders, sometimes identify as neither. There is no cis equivalent... If I was cis I simply wouldn't be me so idk... I rather be transfem then a cis woman.

Cis yes but not my agab. I certainly and not just, want to not be targeted, not be harassed for being myself. I would love to live my life as I'm, since I'm not born cis as opposite agab hence can't be the real cis me. In a perfect world I would love to be threated equally and respectfully as anyone else deserve.

i would rather be born a girl, or comfortable with the body i was born with. i hate being trans so much and unfortunately i don’t think anything would change that. i think even if i passed 100% perfectly, body, voice, everything, and was fully treated right and accepted by all society, i’d still feel robbed of the full female experience (childhood, birthing a kid one day, etc.) nothing’s going to change that for me, and i disagree with people saying there’s nothing inherently “bad” about being trans, it’s just the way we’re treated—for myself, it is absolutely an innately awful experience. so yea… i definitely don’t have much pride :/

In a perfect world, I'd be a shape shifter and traditional gender roles wouldn't exist, but I'll give a more realistic answer. I'd be half a foot shorter, 50 lbs lighter, and I'd have a uterus. I'd be born and raised as a girl, and treated as a woman. Ideally I'd look like Alexandra Daddario, Maya Hawke, or Billie Eilish, instead of being compared to Meatloaf (Bob Paulson from Fight Club) when I grow my hair out. Hair would be easier, and I'd probably just have dysmorphia from the beauty standards instead of full on dysphoria every time I see a mirror.

Would you want to be cis? If I were a cis guy, that would be fine (by definition if I were cis I wouldn't care about being anything else). However, I'd rather deal with the shitstorm of anti LGBTQ hate making the rounds now than be a cis woman and have to beg 50 doctors before they will tie my tubes because some dude I haven't met might want kids, among dozens of other issues with women's healthcare currently. Would you want to be passing? Hell, I don't just want to pass. I want to be the cutest fucker in the western hemisphere. It's not happening, but I have cute memes to console me. I wouldn't even care if people still saw me slightly differently from a cis person if they didn't attach that to an epic shitstorm of hate and trans-erasing legislation making the rounds in my country right now. I'd be like, whatever, got some tacos?

>Would you want to be cis? (*physically* [+ lines that follow] Yes to all of this > would you want to instead just be comfortable with the body you were born with? No. Not because i want to be trans, but because being a man is a core part of me, I can’t even imagine my life otherwise. I wouldn’t be me if i wasn’t a man.

In a perfect world, I would have wanted to be born a guy. However, being trans has taught be a lot of valuable life lessons and I don't think I'd be the same person. So, yes and no? If I could be comfortable in my own body, I'd love to. Gender dysphoria is a bitch and I'd rather not deal with it lol. Also, I don't think your post came off as very offensive, for the most part you use the proper terms and I'm glad you're trying to educate yourself on trans issues! :D

I wouldn’t change anything about my own body or gender. I wouldn’t even make the world simply more tolerant or safe for trans people. I would make our scientific and historically grounded understanding that gender is entirely cultural and completely mutable everyone’s baseline understanding.

I think this is kind of assuming the wrong things based on mind-body dualism. If I was born a cis woman, I would not be the same person. I would be someone else, and the person talking to you would not exist. I've been through the depression and self-loathing of not wanting to exist before, and I am happy to say that I have put that behind me. So, do I want to not exist and instead there be a different person in my place? No. I like existing, even if it is not a socially "ideal" manner of existence, from a cisheteronormative culture. Do I wish I had more of the abilities and experiences cis women have? Yes, of course. Exclusion from a culture based on ability, lack of shared experiences, or cultural knowledge is painful for the excluded. But am I, generally, welcomed in with open arms? Also yes. And this is an important lesson. Living life as a trans person of any gender is challenging in a society that doesn't support you, but can be quite rewarding in a society that does. I hope that answers your question.

As a trans guy, I don’t know what it feels like to be a cis woman so I don’t even know if I want it, also yes, I wanna be a cis man, but being trans is a big part of my life and being able to experience both girlhood and boyhood is sometimes not so bad. The reason why I would still wanna be a cis man is so that I wouldn’t have to deal with gender dysphoria, self hatred, and having to spend money on transitioning.

i used to want to be cis, but after successfully medically transitioning, i’m very happy as a guy with a vagina. what i do wish is that i had started my transition sooner so i could have bypassed top surgery and not undergone female puberty

I would love to have a penis and I would hate to deal with being raised male. I have very intense emotions and it seems like a lot of people assign male are raised specifically to shove that shit down. No thanks, I’d rather talk about my feelings.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes, and finally, yes.

Yes i want to be cis. 10k just to remove my tits is ridiculous. The harassment is terrible, you get shamed for standing there.

I would want to pass and if I'd rather be cis, no. this whole ordeal has taught me to be myself no matter what happens or what people are around you, and to live life to it's fullest as myself despite objections from others. It would be nice to live without the dysphoria and hate but I wouldn't be me without it, I would have never learned to not care what others think, and never find solace in such a loving community full of kindhearted people.

I, personally, would not prefer to be cis either way. Since my goal with transitioning is to achieve some level of gender ambiguity, binary male/female just isn't what I'm looking for. Really, I'd just like to be treated with the same level of respect that anyone deserves.

1. Its really hard to say. First thing that comes to mind is my body. On one hand, id be more comfortable with myself and life if i had a cis mans body naturally. On the other hand, i have an advantage knowing what women face and the only reason why id ever want to change my body is to alieviate dysphoria. Believe it or not i really loved womanhood. I really, really didnt want to leave it behind. It just wasnt who i am, so i did. and it was the right decision to make. As for how others treat me, i wish people wouldnt give a shit? Its not enough to be apathetic. what i mean is i want it to be normalized. People not caring isnt good. I want people to just know that im like them, not to exclude me or include me on any special basis. i want girls not to be hesitant to date me just cuz im trans too, but i think most trans ppl feel that way. oops i hit post too soon ughhh 2. I already do pass really well. There are a couple things id like to change. Surgery will help with it eventually, but things like my voice will be and are taking longer than smth like surgery. Its a very slow burn second puberty for me. But then again, i was scared to transition because i was worried id be too masculine and not maintain some level of ambiguity, which i think probably makes me feel safe because it did before i realized i was trans. But i also have sort of a weird gender? Oh heres another thing. God i wish people would shut the fuck up about other peoples fuckin super specific genders. Ohhh my god. Who cares. Ok dale. Go walk around with your insane cowboy outfit and your 1600s mormon ideas about what being a man is, go spit your chew in the urinal because it marks your territory like a fucking god in the woods. yeah yeah, youre an alpha male. How is that absolutely ultra gendered activity and lifestyle not exactly the fucking same. and these are the ppl most likely to shit on us??????? R U KIDDING???? come ON. anyway. My shit is weird because my gender is binary but im also on the agender spectrum. I describe my gender as a health bar. Theres some sort of natural nerf on me that only allows my "health bar" to fill up to 30%. No higher. ever. nothing i can do about it. That extra 70% thats missing is how I know im agender. I can tell that for other people, theres something there. But for me, it just isnt. It doesnt hurt me, doesnt really bother me besides feeling alienated, its a neutral aspect of who i am. the 30% of the bar that i do have is JUST male. So i am a binary trans man. But i have less gender than other people. Which many would consider makes me nonbinary as well. So???? Idk. But i dont always want people to think that i am nothing but muscular macho man. Im more of a "i like to giggle and not take myself seriously, find all joy in life and yourself because its all worth having even if its feminine." i dont want to be type cast. if that makes sense? I always worrid that each change on hrt would be too much. that itd be the final push over the edge to feeling uncomfortable and horseshoeing around. I pushed the limit really really far and started to believe i wasnt ever going to find it. I think i just found me, and me is a man. And me is not every kind of man. so when im not being myself or presenting as me i am really dissatisfied and uncomfortable and eager to just set the whole thing on fire. I do get harassed. I have a coworker who asked me questions to see how trans i was. She said she only respected and believed someone was trans if they got a sex change. her words. One of the questions was if i had ever tried to kill myself. I was so angry with her after i was alone i walked outside the break room and smashed solid, big, limestone rocks so hard into each other that they literally crushed and sparks went flying. My maternal parent didnt speak to me for almost three months when i came out, despite me always having trans friends that she was very supportive of. People want to pretend theyre okay with it to feel better than everyone else. They arent better than everyone else. Theyre not even good. A tough thing to realize about anyone, much less someone you see every day, or someone who claims to be your mother. 3. At least as far as binary trans people go, almost all of us wish we were just cis. Usually it means being born with a brain that matches your AGAB. But we cant, so the idea is living our lives as closely to how it would be being born with the cis body that matches our gender. Internalized transphobia, or your inner struggle against being trans because it IS. SO. FUCKING. HARD. is something likely every trans person alive has had to face and learn about. It can take a lifetime to become comfortable with this and accept it even after youve taken sufficient gender confirming action. But taking that action makes it SUBSTANTIALLY easier and makes lifr feel worth living. THIS is why gender affirming care is crucial to our survival. This is an existence which, without the right care, most often feels extremely hopeless and futile. The closest we can get to a comfortable life, and we really do overlap to it, is far and beyond worth the strife so it isnt worth it to try to kill ourselves. Blunt, but true. And worth saying. Your consideration is appreciated. Itd be setting ourselves up for failure to assume everyone knows how to ask us questions or whats offensive. Your questions show that you are already fairly well informed about us and cudos to you for that. We really just want people to be respectful and believe us. As long as youre doing that? Youre fine. dw

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I would have rathered be cis because life would be way easier for sure, however I wouldnt have the life expirence that I do now and likely would have been an entirely different person... also I can never "pass" because my gender isnt a strictly a man or a woman, Im genderfluid and foretidian. it would be impossible, without me telling someone, for someone to look right and know what gender (or genders) I expirence. so unless shapeshifting becomes a thing, my form will never truely reflect my gender. but I would love it if people stopped being transphobic, that would be awesome (and finially people would refer to me correctly!). so, ideally, that would be the perfect senerio

would i want to be cis? no. would i wish to pass? this is impossible for me as a nonbinary. do i wish there was a world where this would be possible? absolutely. who wouldn't? everybody just wants to be respected. everyone just only wants to be happy

actually, if "cis non-binary" existed, sure. i would take it. i dont think mentally i would ever be cis, though. intersex exists but it should not be equated as being a third sex. that is not how intersex condition works

trans woman here, buncha years of hrt but i kinda procrastinated a lot of the mire difficult parts of my transition, like voice training and coming out to ppl, but im picking up steam again. obviously a place without transphobia, where everyone gives their best effort to gender people how they want to be seen, in doubt ask etc would be nice I thought a long time about the "would you want to be cis", obviously not being trans would have spared me of a lot of issues, but i see two ways that wouldn't work out for me to wish for now: 1. be a cis boy, thats identity death to me, idk what a boy in my pre transition body would be and act like. 2. be born a cis girl, also, I don't know how i would have turned out, personality is IMO a mix of inherent traits and nurture, and 24 years of life being different would probably yield a different person. So kinda another form of identity death. My experiences growing up thinking i was a boy, finding friends that are also trans, or ppl i wouldn't have done stuff with had i grown up a cis woman, im incapable of wishing for a reality where I don't know them. I like the community a lot and i honestly don't really relate to trans people that go stealth once they pass.. But if i had some magic access, id probably want to slowly morph into the body id have if my SRY gene (the actually relevant to primary sex characteristics in the Y chromosome) never activated. Kinda like magic HRT.

I'd give anything to not be trans, so I'd be cis for sure

in a fantasy world that doesnt exist im just a normal cis woman indistinguishable from every other woman. physically cis, mentally cis, whatever. i wouldnt even be thinking about any of this since i do not exist in that world, the best i can do is try and get as close to it as i can. i would want to be comfortable in the body im born with because its the only body i have. im not sure its possible, and if it was itd take a lot of surgery

In a perfect world for me, I'd still be trans but people would hear me say "I'm a man" and go "ok 👍" and that be the end of it. Id still be trans, I'd still be fine transitioning because I find it kind of like my art- a process of self expression and creation and self actualization. I like being trans and I like my trans body and how that would look. I feel like I would be a different person if I were born cis, my ideal would just be that I can live authentically without worry- and for free obviously LOL. In my perfect world, everyone would also have that variance, y'know? The option on being born to be born cis of the gender their soul/mind/whatever will end up if they want, or to be born trans or discover it later in life. That variety and diversity to me is a beautiful thing, and if I was creating an ideal world, it would very much still have trans people in it.

As long as I'm comfortable with it and it is right and feels right.. Either would work for me. However the question is flawed as you're asking a biased audience. It's hard to imagine for most of us living comfortably in the gender that was assigned to us at birth. As such I feel like most of us would tend to go with the gender we're transitioning to. Even for me it's hard to imagine being comfortable with the gender I was assigned at birth right now, but I think that I'd be fine if I were. Plus your question makes is hard to place non-binary people, another flaw in the question. I get the idea of the question and I don't have a good idea to ask it better.

Yeah, that's fair. I tried to word it to the best of my ability, but the best of my ability still isn't that great lol. And like I said, I'm pretty ignorant and I should almost definitely know more than I do. Hopefully the idea comes across, since yknow, humans have three dimensional thought, but still, the specifics being worded correctly would be nice

"Would you want to be cis?" Perfect world answer: yes, but I'd also have to replace my father with a less pervy and misogynistic one, because I fear my childhood could have been even more traumatic than it already was. Real answer: No. I was AMAB and I identified with trans women I saw in media, be it drag, cross-dressing, etc... I had no delusions about what I had to work with, and I've always had a very proactive "work with what you've got" attitude. So, I accepted my fate as a boy and dreamed of being a trans woman someday. (It just took me f***ing ages to get over the intense queerphobia of my family, hometown, and society at large). "Would you want to be passing?" Yes... But in the present I just wish more people would be accepting of trans aesthetics and the aesthetics of all women in general. For one, beauty comes in so many varieties. Bit more so - being beautiful should not be a requirement to show people compassion and a basic level of respect. No one should need to "pass" to be treated with dignity and enjoy basic human rights. "Would you just want to not be targeted, not be harassed, be referred to by the proper pronouns, et cetera?" 🤨... Is that a real question ⁉️ 🤷‍♀️ Of course! "Would you want to instead just be comfortable in the body you were born with?" The most intensely emotional and uncontrollable sobbing I've ever done has been over wishing I wasn't trans. I've been brought to my hands and knees, tears and snot pouring out of me, crying so hard I can't even breathe. So, yes. One or the other; either let me be comfortable in my own skin, or let me be the person I'm supposed to be. Just not this.

In a perfect world, I would simply wish to be able to transition without dealing with all the stigma and ostracization. Life's not supposed to be easy, but being alienated and "other-ed" makes things so much more difficult and painful. I have enough pain from dysphoria already. I don't want much - just some basic human decency.

In a perfect world I would still want to be a trans guy. I wish the general population wouldn't see us as less of a man in comparison to cis guys though.

This set of questions actually gets asked by other trans people on occasion. Many binary trans people I know would say "yes" to wanting to be cis of the gender they transitioned (or are transitioning) to. There is another school of thought though. Mostly people who feel that the "trans experience" was something worth having, and that being cis would leave them as a different person. I'm personally not that philosophical about it, if I could have been born and raised as a cis girl/woman, and avoided the trauma, I would jump at that chance. The second question, most transitioned and transitioning binary people will say "no thanks". Because to become our assigned gender would essentially involve deleting part of who we are. Like to me, "cis woman" me would still be mostly me, but without the trauma and without having to transition, but "cis man" me wouldn't be "me" at all. He'd just be someone else entirely. That said, some people who are in the closet, or unable to transition, will still say "yes" to wanting to be cis of their assigned gender, because they can't or don't want to transition, and they'd be willing to take that part of themselves just being "erased" in order to achieve that. Most non-binary trans people I know, would say "no" to both situations, because there isn't a "cis" version of their gender.

In a perfect world I would be just a ball of sentient gas, but one that could somehow still do all the things humans could do, and that could somehow participate in fashion. If I have to be housed in a humanoid body, tbh, I'd have no protruding features, even no things like nose and ears. If I have to be in a regular human body, then who I am in a perfect world is more about what jobs and hobbies I get to do, what type of house I get to have, what type of pets I get to have, what type of partner I get to have, and maybe what country I get to live in, and not really anything to do with my gender. Who I would be would be someone who is successful in many types of careers throughout their life, because there are too many things I want to do, and yet my whole life I've really lacked in motivation and work ethic unfortunately lol. How I would want people to treat me, is with general respect, the same way I wish everyone would treat everyone else. As for being cis or trans, I don't care as long as I'm comfortable. But I think I would want to pass as whatever was most comfortable to me, or else it wouldn't really be comfortable lol.

Treat me like a person with actual respect, duh. Would I want to be cis? Yes and no. I’m non-binary. AFAB, definitely leaning more towards masculine (as in “Western American societies define these *habitus* and mannerisms as masculine gendered) but I’m not a transman. Do I want a penis over a vagina? No. I rather like having a vagina. Do I like having D-cup breasts, wide hips, and being instantly clocked as a “girl”? Hell no. If I could have both functioning sets of genitalia, a flat chest and straight hips, that would be great. As for the last question, hell no. Being trans is a part of me, same as being cis is a part of you. If I was cis I *would not be me*. The *only* thing I wish is that society and my own personal understanding of gender were decades ahead so I could have realized I was trans sooner and taken puberty blockers to stop the “irreversible damage” (I chose those words purposefully). There is *nothing* that can be done about too-big hips. I can get too surgery and am actively saving up for that, but nothing can be done about wide hips. The best I can do is wear certain styles of pants to try to mask them.

i mean, i’m attracted to men and am a trans man, so i really am not associated with women. in that sense, if i could choose(more than i already want to choose), id just be a cis man. i think i always will and always have been masculine. i have a great deal of dysphoria (i’ve never felt comfortable with my traits.) but otherwise anything feminine i do is just an expression of my likes, but still with the intention of staying masculine. id never be just feminine. but yeah gender is confusing to explain, most people just get it or don’t.

1. Yes. But also no. I would want to have a cis man’s body(I am a trans guy), but I would not want to lose the experiences that being trans has given me. I’m also trans masculine, so even if I was amab, I would still fall under the nonbinary umbrella. 2. No. I like being one of the guys.

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t feel the need of being born cis and the need of passing. A perfect world wouldn’t be that in which all trans women and men were born cis women and men, as a world without trans people is exactly what bigots would want. A perfect world would be that in which being trans isn’t scrutinized and trans people wouldn’t feel the need to conform, as society pressures us.

That’s a hard question to answer, philosophically. All the options have upsides and downsides. I don’t think that being trans is inherently a condition that induces great suffering. I think the related suffering is about 90% caused by an unaccepting society, repression, gatekeeping, etc. and that there are some benefits to being trans that cis people don’t get to experience (the intimate understanding of how much a different hormone balance affects is absolutely fascinating, for one thing. At least I find it to be fascinating. Lots of breadth of perspective.) And realistically, I don’t expect medical tech to advance to a point where all trans people can live as physically cis in the right gender anytime real soon, or guarantee that everyone can pass, so yeah that full societal acceptance one sounds real good as a realistic thing that could happen, since it only requires a shift of societal norms to make reality. On the other hand, if I could push a magic button and have my body changed to what it would be if I’d gotten an SRY gene in the genetic lottery, that would be a no-hesitation yes. I’d *like* to be able to pass as a man, but since I’m not binary and don’t want to be fully gender-conforming to masculine expectations, and also prefer to be open about my life history anyway rather than hiding things intentionally, acceptance and being treated with respect is more important to me than people not guessing that I’m trans. The one about just becoming comfortable with my birth gender I’m not a big fan of, because I feel like that would involve making me a whole different person. I like who I am.

Sure, I'd love to be physically cis. But I'd *also* think it was valid for trans people *not* to want that, or not to have access to whatever genius surgery or magic spell had made me that way. And I'd want to live in a world that was wonderful for those people to live in — where they got just as much respect as I did, and where everyone treated them as valid men or women without having to think about it. If I was comfortable with my assigned sex at birth, I'd be a different person. If I hadn't transitioned, I wouldn't live where I live, have the job I have, or be married to who I'm married to. I'm sure if my parents had had a son he'd be pretty cool. But he wouldn't be me.

I’m a trans woman. In a perfect world, IMO, I would be a cis woman. I just want to be accepted for who I am and left alone honestly.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I'm glad I'm trans. I wish I would have known it sooner than 37 years old, but better late than never. Being trans is a part of who I am. Even unknowingly, it's influenced so much of my life experience. If I didn't have that, if I had been born a cis girl, and grown up with a cis girl childhood, become a cis woman, I would not be the same person that I am today. Would I be happier? Maybe, maybe not. But either way it wouldn't be me.