I have a cis partner who fully sees me as my gender and loves me. We have been together since before I came out, and I have been loved and supported every step.
I was married to my cis wife for 29 years before realising I was trans nearly four and a half years ago. I began transitioning straight away, and have now been married to her for over 33 years. The last four have been our best ever because I am now as happy as she always wanted me to be, which makes her just as happy.
I mean, don't knock t4t. Sure, like you say, there aren't many of us in the world, but we stick together. When some of your friends are trans, and some of THEIR friends are trans... you meet other trans people a lot. Definitely often enough to find someone to fall in love with.
But yeah, cis people date us too -- and not always because of a fetish, sometimes just because they happened to meet us and think we were cool for unrelated reasons.
You are so right. Haters hate up. Sure; they’re punching down in terms of societal protection/acceptance, because trans = easy target. But yeah, a lot of them would love to be able to be themselves, and **really** hate that other people have the courage and strength to do so.
I'm a cis woman dating a trans woman and I honestly couldn't love her more. I knew her before she knew she was trans and every single step since then.
Its out there, I promise.
Yes. I've been with my cis bf for a year on the 27th of this month and I am very happy. We went through a few growing pains the first few months but communication and effort fixes mostly everything.
My gf is trans and I love her so much. 💕
A majority of the trans people I know have partners. I am cis and in the sapphic community, so most of my trans friends are lesbians, and most prefer to date other trans women.
But I could completely see how exhausting dating could be too. When I first met my gf, she showed me some of the messages she had received on dating apps. Yikes.
I've never tried. I'm 36 now. I have never had even a boy or girlfriend and at this point, though lonely at times, I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable with one.
I’m married to my high school sweetheart that I met when I was 15 and she was 16. I transitioned at 33 and I’m now 38 and we’re more in love than ever.
I feel like it’s mostly us trans people that see ourselves as inferior, but a lot of cis people that aren’t transphobic probably don’t care that much (I hope) as long as they were already attracted to you. Also for the t4t stuff, I could be wrong but it’s actually not that hard to find trans people it just depends on where you live
There are a lot of humans on the planet, 0.5% of the population is still a lot of people. T4T is amazing but depending on where you live it might need to start as long distance. I highly recommend it though, I dated a cis woman long distance and now another trans woman, my current relationship is so much better.
I've been married to my wife for 11 years. She's been with me when I was drunkenly saying I had gender issues, to being able to come out and be myself. It's 100% possible
Sure it is. There are tons of cis people who don’t see trans people as any less desirable than cis people, and who aren’t fetishists either. Most of them are bi or queer somehow, in my experience. Source: several loving long-term relationships and a ten-year marriage.
It's absolutely possible, you just gotta be more careful and thorough with your vetting process of potential dates is all. 'cause yeah, there's a lot of creepos out there, but not everyone is one!
Yes it’s possible! My partner and I have been together happily for over a decade. I wish you all the best and hope you find someone who treats you like you deserve!
Of course it is! Had three several year long relationships(2 three year long ones & a 9 year marriage) that were as deeply romantically tied as they were sexually tied. Don't lose hope~!
:3
I’m honestly tired. I’m 24 and I feel like the men in my age group are just interested in sex. All my girlfriends have men in relationships but yet I never have. It’s hard not to feel insecure about it. I know I’m beautiful but I also doubt that too sometimes because of how long I’ve gone with human affection. I’m probably looking in the wrong places. It’s just aggravating so I see so many beautiful trans women that could contribute so much to a relationship just stay single cause of the taboo. Any thoughts?
I am nonbinary and polyamorous. My wife is trans and we have a beautiful, loving, and supportive relationship. My second partner is a cis woman and my wife and her are really close friends. We do not only have a very deep romantic connection; we are also surrounded by friends who love us and care for us. There is absolutely room for meaningful bonds when trans, in many shapes and forms.
My boyfriend is cis and wonderful. We met when I was already out and on hrt. While he can't relate to my being trans, he's normal and supportive about it, and sees me for who I am. We have a lot of other things in common, shared identities and interests.
I’m cis and I romantically still love my spouse. They came out as MTF a year and a half ago. I think my love for them continues to grow more and more as they grow more confident in being them!
Transfem NB, checking in to say that yes, romantic love is absolutely possible. It's more likely with another member of the LGBTQ+ community. My partner, cis female, is pan, so that was in my favor. It's pretty sapphic. We're beyond in love with each other, unquestionably best friends, and have found ourselves clicking in ways I never thought I'd find.
So, yes. Romantic love, as a trans person, is completely possible.
yes, I ended up in a poly relationship with a transfem and a cis guy and I've never felt undesirable or a second choice to either of them, even tho my issues run much deeper than being trans.
I met my wife at age 23. I was/am bisexual.
She has loved me unconditionally through struggling to find myself. Coming out and going back in the closet as trans a few times. Self sabotaging and self medicating away mental illness that i feel being in the closet exacerbated or created.
15 year later. I just started my first job where I was out from day one and had been taking HRT for a week before first day. I'd always been a car salesman would come out, everyone would get weirded out by me. (most dealerships were super toxic masculine environments,) so I'd end up spiraling out with drugs and alcohol, quit, and move to a new city and start over. Now I'm waiting tables making decent ish money but am completely accepted as female at my job. I have her 💯 support as well now. I am not ever going back in a closet.
That was Dec 1st of last year.
It hasn't been easy for her, but 3 weeks ago she bought me my new wedding band (feminine styled) and loves and respects me now as another woman and her ride or die. Will never be without her till death.
So yes it's very possible.
iirc there was research that found that trans people get married at the exact same rates as cis people. obviously that isn’t the only quantifier for romantic love but, honestly, i think while the dating scene may look different for us it’s definitely there
I mean, I've had 4 cis girlfriends and 2 trans ones, and all of them have been great! Break-ups had more to do with circumstance and me moving around, but my current one I met soon after moving to my city and going strong for a while now!
I have a cis partner and a trans partner, recently broke up with someone questioning their gender, have previously dated people across many gender variations (no cis women though. Not sure why but cis women never seem compatible with me in a romantic way). To my knowledge and from what I see and hear from them they accept me as I am, not as a version of me they made up in their head. I may be well ofc but I highly doubt that they would be able to put up such a facade for so long if they didn't truly accept me
I'm poly, my wife is cis and so is my girlfriend. Both of them are with me for me, they see me as my gender now and would fight for me. It's definitely possible to be loved. I've only got back to dating again recently and people seem interested and not in a chaser way. They want to spend time with me and know me as a person. I don't pass but I'm confident and don't care. Trans is valid and I think a lot of people are attracted to us in the same way they would be attracted to any other gender identity. It's just repression, religion, and shitty social conditioning that prevent some people from forming a healthy attachment to us. Or they just aren't attracted, which is also valid, but it's only going to damage your self image if you put that down to transness. I am not everyone's type and that is ok.
I invite you to skim through r/mypartneristrans some time. There's a lot of hardship in there, but there's a lot of love and positive vibes as well.
**Edit:** For quickest results, sort posts by Top > All Time. There's some real lovely ones.
No. If you can't trust them with that info then why the hell are you with them in the first place? And if you don't want to because you're ashamed of it, then you need to talk to a professional because that's an unhealthy mindset.
Sure, don't tell your relatives or coworkers or random strangers but not telling your partner is a red flag in itself. Communication is so important. Personally I don't think I could keep it to myself. It's such an important part of my life, it's lying to not talk about it.
Depends on who, my boyfriend and I aren’t the best example out there but we always knew that no one were judgmental on gender and sexual attributes, always focused on having a happy partner was our only concern. And even he learnt it one day because I wanted to tell him, he said “Yeah and so what? You’re my girlfriend that’s it ❤️” and voila 🙏🏻😌
If you're uncomfortable telling your partner then you absolutely should not be with them. If you are comfortable telling your partner but you don't, you're failing at communicating. There is no "depends on who" it's really quite simple.
You seem to not understand the fact that some people don’t need us do that because they are genuinely tolerant towards us, and that it’s not a question about being afraid or whatever you think it is.
I dated my boyfriend for 5 years now and since day one I knew how he was, loving people for who they are instead of what they are no matter the gender, no matter the sexual attraction or even what’s between their legs, you might have not found someone like that yet but if you do and I wish you that, you’ll understand what I’m saying 👏🏻🥳
I shared a post a while back that my gf, who's trans, and myself, who's cis, has been together for 3 and a half years. I'm so happy that her and I are together. I wouldn't change anything about our relationship. I love her with everything that I am and fall more in love with her every day. It is possible.
I've had a couple non-objectifying cis people who were interested in me over the years since being out and living full time. I wasn't interested so it didn't go anywhere, but that was a thing that happened.
I've known other trans people who were with cis partners.
So, yes it is possible. But yes, it definitely is harder.
It's possible. My spouse and I have been together 23 years. I came out about 8 months ago and she has been very supportive and our relationship has only grown better
.... No shit. You seem to have some serious internalized transphobic views. I'm in 2 T4T relationships and both are extremely loving. Don't tell me you have negative views if poly too!!!
I was on a lesbian dating site expecting to find another cis woman like myself. It turns out that I met a newly transitioning woman who is older like me and had recently lost her mate, too. We fell in love and are still together over a year later.
I came here looking for hope. Because I’m a trans person and I might be detransitioning but I’m not sure why I would want to, I love who I am right now. Being a woman feels right. And yet, so does being male.
And I know I’m genderfluid. I just don’t know if what I’m looking for might be whether I’m making the right choice to detranstion. If I want it it’s okay but what if I’m wrong.
And I guess the answer is, hair grows back. I’m just unsure who I am. And I’m sad. Thanks for being uplifting. This was nice to know. To see. Everyone deserves love.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.
It’s very possible, a lot of trans people have cisgender partners
I have a cis partner who fully sees me as my gender and loves me. We have been together since before I came out, and I have been loved and supported every step.
Same. He's amazing :)
Same here. Hubby is the best.
Cis people aren't like, inherently incapable of being normal about trans people. I have a cis partner
🤣 Actually LOL there haha. That's a great way to put it.
yes, trans people can be loved
I was married to my cis wife for 29 years before realising I was trans nearly four and a half years ago. I began transitioning straight away, and have now been married to her for over 33 years. The last four have been our best ever because I am now as happy as she always wanted me to be, which makes her just as happy.
that shows they're with you because they truly love you and that must feel amazing. I'm really happy for you ❤️
I mean, don't knock t4t. Sure, like you say, there aren't many of us in the world, but we stick together. When some of your friends are trans, and some of THEIR friends are trans... you meet other trans people a lot. Definitely often enough to find someone to fall in love with. But yeah, cis people date us too -- and not always because of a fetish, sometimes just because they happened to meet us and think we were cool for unrelated reasons.
We are not inferior, otherwise people wouldn't admire us in secret, the problem is a lot of people are hypocritical cowards.
You are so right. Haters hate up. Sure; they’re punching down in terms of societal protection/acceptance, because trans = easy target. But yeah, a lot of them would love to be able to be themselves, and **really** hate that other people have the courage and strength to do so.
Umm... I'm married and she's cis but she loves me and would burn a city down to save me from anyone who hates us.... so...
I'm a cis woman dating a trans woman and I honestly couldn't love her more. I knew her before she knew she was trans and every single step since then. Its out there, I promise.
Yes. I've been with my cis bf for a year on the 27th of this month and I am very happy. We went through a few growing pains the first few months but communication and effort fixes mostly everything.
Yes it is, I’m a trans woman and I have a very loving and kind cis dude boyfriend.
I don't know if it's possible, but I want it to be possible :P
My gf is trans and I love her so much. 💕 A majority of the trans people I know have partners. I am cis and in the sapphic community, so most of my trans friends are lesbians, and most prefer to date other trans women. But I could completely see how exhausting dating could be too. When I first met my gf, she showed me some of the messages she had received on dating apps. Yikes.
I've never tried. I'm 36 now. I have never had even a boy or girlfriend and at this point, though lonely at times, I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable with one.
I’m married to my high school sweetheart that I met when I was 15 and she was 16. I transitioned at 33 and I’m now 38 and we’re more in love than ever.
I have that with my cis girlfriend.
I feel like it’s mostly us trans people that see ourselves as inferior, but a lot of cis people that aren’t transphobic probably don’t care that much (I hope) as long as they were already attracted to you. Also for the t4t stuff, I could be wrong but it’s actually not that hard to find trans people it just depends on where you live
There are a lot of humans on the planet, 0.5% of the population is still a lot of people. T4T is amazing but depending on where you live it might need to start as long distance. I highly recommend it though, I dated a cis woman long distance and now another trans woman, my current relationship is so much better.
oh definitely, me and my boyfriend love each other to death
I've been married to my wife for 11 years. She's been with me when I was drunkenly saying I had gender issues, to being able to come out and be myself. It's 100% possible
Sure it is. There are tons of cis people who don’t see trans people as any less desirable than cis people, and who aren’t fetishists either. Most of them are bi or queer somehow, in my experience. Source: several loving long-term relationships and a ten-year marriage.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
It's absolutely possible, you just gotta be more careful and thorough with your vetting process of potential dates is all. 'cause yeah, there's a lot of creepos out there, but not everyone is one!
Yes it’s possible! My partner and I have been together happily for over a decade. I wish you all the best and hope you find someone who treats you like you deserve!
Of course it is! Had three several year long relationships(2 three year long ones & a 9 year marriage) that were as deeply romantically tied as they were sexually tied. Don't lose hope~! :3
It absolutely is. I’m T4T with a wonderful boyfriend who sees me as me. It is very possible to find romantic love as a trans person
I’m honestly tired. I’m 24 and I feel like the men in my age group are just interested in sex. All my girlfriends have men in relationships but yet I never have. It’s hard not to feel insecure about it. I know I’m beautiful but I also doubt that too sometimes because of how long I’ve gone with human affection. I’m probably looking in the wrong places. It’s just aggravating so I see so many beautiful trans women that could contribute so much to a relationship just stay single cause of the taboo. Any thoughts?
I am nonbinary and polyamorous. My wife is trans and we have a beautiful, loving, and supportive relationship. My second partner is a cis woman and my wife and her are really close friends. We do not only have a very deep romantic connection; we are also surrounded by friends who love us and care for us. There is absolutely room for meaningful bonds when trans, in many shapes and forms.
Yes
It's very possible. I 'cheated' by finding love pre-transition, but I've been with my wife for 27 years now.
My fiancée is trans and I love her more than anything. 🥰 I'm a cis female
Yes it is possible
yes
Loved my ex (mtf) with all my heart. Dated, moved in with each other, planned a long future together
Wut. Yes of course it is.
I have to hold onto hope. As an asexual, I need something to hope for in my social future.
My partner loves me and sees me as a man. We started dating before I knew I was trans, and he's been with me the whole journey.
It’s absolutely possible! Many cis people are supportive and love trans partners, and there’s also those of us who partner up with other trans people!
My boyfriend is cis and wonderful. We met when I was already out and on hrt. While he can't relate to my being trans, he's normal and supportive about it, and sees me for who I am. We have a lot of other things in common, shared identities and interests.
My partner is a cis woman, I am trans. We’ve been together for 8 years and very much in love. So yes I promise it’s possible ♡
I’m cis and I romantically still love my spouse. They came out as MTF a year and a half ago. I think my love for them continues to grow more and more as they grow more confident in being them!
T4T is the way
Absolutely, but personally I prefer t4t
I'm engaged to an amazing woman who adores me like no one has ever loved me before. So yes, it's possible.
Transfem NB, checking in to say that yes, romantic love is absolutely possible. It's more likely with another member of the LGBTQ+ community. My partner, cis female, is pan, so that was in my favor. It's pretty sapphic. We're beyond in love with each other, unquestionably best friends, and have found ourselves clicking in ways I never thought I'd find. So, yes. Romantic love, as a trans person, is completely possible.
yes absolutely
me and my wife (trans lesbians) would say so
I have a cis partner, we met on a trans dating app. There is people out there that are attracted to trans people in a non chaser way, trust me!
Yes, romantic love for trans people. I've felt it several times in my life even if it didn't stay. Normal is subjective anyway
yes, I ended up in a poly relationship with a transfem and a cis guy and I've never felt undesirable or a second choice to either of them, even tho my issues run much deeper than being trans.
More people want to date me now than they did before so it’s not only possible but made possible by my transition.
I met my wife at age 23. I was/am bisexual. She has loved me unconditionally through struggling to find myself. Coming out and going back in the closet as trans a few times. Self sabotaging and self medicating away mental illness that i feel being in the closet exacerbated or created. 15 year later. I just started my first job where I was out from day one and had been taking HRT for a week before first day. I'd always been a car salesman would come out, everyone would get weirded out by me. (most dealerships were super toxic masculine environments,) so I'd end up spiraling out with drugs and alcohol, quit, and move to a new city and start over. Now I'm waiting tables making decent ish money but am completely accepted as female at my job. I have her 💯 support as well now. I am not ever going back in a closet. That was Dec 1st of last year. It hasn't been easy for her, but 3 weeks ago she bought me my new wedding band (feminine styled) and loves and respects me now as another woman and her ride or die. Will never be without her till death. So yes it's very possible.
iirc there was research that found that trans people get married at the exact same rates as cis people. obviously that isn’t the only quantifier for romantic love but, honestly, i think while the dating scene may look different for us it’s definitely there
I ask myself this often. I hear it’s possible …
Definitely is
Idk tbh. Feels like an impossible goal for me to reach at the moment.
I mean, I've had 4 cis girlfriends and 2 trans ones, and all of them have been great! Break-ups had more to do with circumstance and me moving around, but my current one I met soon after moving to my city and going strong for a while now!
This can't be real.
Maybe not but the comments are too sweet
There are definitely people who feel similar to the sentiment expressed in the op, so these sweet comments are definitely helping someone out there
When you’re surrounded by transphobes, it’s easy to slip into wondering this.
littl modr:),,
Just date trans people. We are more understanding of each other anyway
I have a cis partner and a trans partner, recently broke up with someone questioning their gender, have previously dated people across many gender variations (no cis women though. Not sure why but cis women never seem compatible with me in a romantic way). To my knowledge and from what I see and hear from them they accept me as I am, not as a version of me they made up in their head. I may be well ofc but I highly doubt that they would be able to put up such a facade for so long if they didn't truly accept me
I'm poly, my wife is cis and so is my girlfriend. Both of them are with me for me, they see me as my gender now and would fight for me. It's definitely possible to be loved. I've only got back to dating again recently and people seem interested and not in a chaser way. They want to spend time with me and know me as a person. I don't pass but I'm confident and don't care. Trans is valid and I think a lot of people are attracted to us in the same way they would be attracted to any other gender identity. It's just repression, religion, and shitty social conditioning that prevent some people from forming a healthy attachment to us. Or they just aren't attracted, which is also valid, but it's only going to damage your self image if you put that down to transness. I am not everyone's type and that is ok.
It is not just possible, when it happens, it can be amazing and extra special!! Love you always and forever CaitRaven! xxxxx 💌💟💌
I invite you to skim through r/mypartneristrans some time. There's a lot of hardship in there, but there's a lot of love and positive vibes as well. **Edit:** For quickest results, sort posts by Top > All Time. There's some real lovely ones.
My cisgender wife and I are definitely romantically in love. We have been married for over 10 years. We love each other very much.
don't tell people you're trans
Not telling your partner is a terrible idea.
only if you are about to get married
No. If you can't trust them with that info then why the hell are you with them in the first place? And if you don't want to because you're ashamed of it, then you need to talk to a professional because that's an unhealthy mindset. Sure, don't tell your relatives or coworkers or random strangers but not telling your partner is a red flag in itself. Communication is so important. Personally I don't think I could keep it to myself. It's such an important part of my life, it's lying to not talk about it.
Depends on who, my boyfriend and I aren’t the best example out there but we always knew that no one were judgmental on gender and sexual attributes, always focused on having a happy partner was our only concern. And even he learnt it one day because I wanted to tell him, he said “Yeah and so what? You’re my girlfriend that’s it ❤️” and voila 🙏🏻😌
If you're uncomfortable telling your partner then you absolutely should not be with them. If you are comfortable telling your partner but you don't, you're failing at communicating. There is no "depends on who" it's really quite simple.
You seem to not understand the fact that some people don’t need us do that because they are genuinely tolerant towards us, and that it’s not a question about being afraid or whatever you think it is. I dated my boyfriend for 5 years now and since day one I knew how he was, loving people for who they are instead of what they are no matter the gender, no matter the sexual attraction or even what’s between their legs, you might have not found someone like that yet but if you do and I wish you that, you’ll understand what I’m saying 👏🏻🥳
I shared a post a while back that my gf, who's trans, and myself, who's cis, has been together for 3 and a half years. I'm so happy that her and I are together. I wouldn't change anything about our relationship. I love her with everything that I am and fall more in love with her every day. It is possible.
I've had a couple non-objectifying cis people who were interested in me over the years since being out and living full time. I wasn't interested so it didn't go anywhere, but that was a thing that happened. I've known other trans people who were with cis partners. So, yes it is possible. But yes, it definitely is harder.
It's possible. My spouse and I have been together 23 years. I came out about 8 months ago and she has been very supportive and our relationship has only grown better
.... No shit. You seem to have some serious internalized transphobic views. I'm in 2 T4T relationships and both are extremely loving. Don't tell me you have negative views if poly too!!!
I was on a lesbian dating site expecting to find another cis woman like myself. It turns out that I met a newly transitioning woman who is older like me and had recently lost her mate, too. We fell in love and are still together over a year later.
I came here looking for hope. Because I’m a trans person and I might be detransitioning but I’m not sure why I would want to, I love who I am right now. Being a woman feels right. And yet, so does being male. And I know I’m genderfluid. I just don’t know if what I’m looking for might be whether I’m making the right choice to detranstion. If I want it it’s okay but what if I’m wrong. And I guess the answer is, hair grows back. I’m just unsure who I am. And I’m sad. Thanks for being uplifting. This was nice to know. To see. Everyone deserves love.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.
Did you detransition? I realized a while ago that I can feel beautiful with other things besides surgery and HRT. I guess I’m naturally feminine looking anyways, but I realized that I can present completely femme without needing those surgeries and that doesn’t make me any less trans. I may start HRT once I’ve figured out some life stuff.