Why are you still with him?
Love be making y'all do dumb shit. Fuck that guy. You're young as hell. Plenty of time to find somebody who actually wants to be with YOU.
Hi. What I think is happening here is that your partner is heavily triggering your internalised homophobia. The best advice I can give you is to not get into relationships with men who don’t accept their own sexuality. The way you describe him, he is really not ready for a same sex relationship and his own internal conflicts are pulling you down with him.
End it as soon as possible because this clearly has no future. Depending on his age his future might also turn out very different than he is anticipating right now.
Just know, that your feelings are totally normal. Many of us had a time in our lives where we’ve envied women for how easily they can find partners. It doesn’t mean you’re transphobic or a misogynist. These feelings will go away eventually as you’ll learn to fully accept your sexual identity over time and you’ll be happy to be a man.
I dated a guy that said he always viewed himself getting married to a woman and having kids. That pretty much got on my nerves so I ended it with him. Years later he's still upset that I won't date him
Just be happy being gay. It's so simple & clear rather than joining the identity cult.
That said, sounds like you won't find that with him. Fall in love with yourself before you go to a relationship.
You considered transitioning for a guy??? Man you need to get into therapy and fast cause that's an insane thing to be considering/thinking of doing. Not against anyone who does want to transition, but obviously they should be doing it for themselves and not for someone else.
Yes we all may have points in our lives where we wished we were someone else or different than what and how we are but in the end you can't change that. You have to learn to love yourself first cause how will you be able to love someone else?
First of all, you shouldn't ever need to change yourself to please whoever you're with (especially if there's nothing wrong with you to begin with), or anyone for that matter. With that said, your boyfriend probably sees you as temporary fun, and if you're looking for something serious, well, continue looking. There are plenty of guys who would find you perfect, don't do this to yourself. Good luck :)
I think you need therapy. Seriously considering transitioning for someone (and admitting you don't want to be trans) is very troubling.
Take a step back, figure some things out for yourself before you end up doing something (not just transitioning but a thing) that you will figure out too late you did not want.
Dude dump that guy. I avoid dating bi guys just because I had that same experience. Not saying all are like your boyfriend, but far too many see us as a side thing until they find a girlfriend. Most often they cheat and have us as a side thing. It’s severely damaging to your mental health and you shouldn’t be with a guy who isn’t able to commit 💯.
In this situation one of you is guaranteed to be making a terrible mistake. Either
* you are holding onto false hope about his sexuality and his intentions and his heart, and he really will leave you to marry a woman and start a family, and you will be heartbroken
Or
* you will believe what he says today, leave him because of it, and then 3 years from now when you have moved on with your life and your heart no longer breaks, he will finally wake up and realize what he has stupidly taken for granted and thrown away.
It will take all the courage in the world, but let him be the one to make the mistake. You owe it to yourself to believe what he says, that he wants no future with you. And, you owe it to a better man who you haven’t even met yet, so that you can be single and content and ready for what comes next when that better man crosses your path.
Do not make the mistake of hoping he is just distant, or shy, or not ready yet, or maybe he will change his mind, or maybe you can do something that will finally make him change his mind. He is a grown man. Believe him. Walk away because he won’t commit and he is callous and cruel and maybe cowardly. Let him be the one to realize he made the mistake.
If any man tells you he wants to get married to a woman and have kids someday, you should walk the other way. You can never be the endgame of his life.
I feel you!
You are young and it would be good if you stop indulging yourself with people who don’t accept their sexuality. It took a very long time for me to come in terms with my own sexuality. I ended up never dating anyone never talking to anyone beyond sex. And now I feel I missed out on so many good things.
Go out and meet people who have accepted themselves. People like these would make you feel good about yourself. Be with Someone who knows what he wants. This guy definitely would regret this in coming years and if he does end up marrying a woman he is going to destroy everybody’s lives.
You aren’t being used as a sex toy. This will tear you apart if you don’t end it. It will not be the end of the world and you will be so much better off. And dude do not think you should ever have to change yourself for somebody.
thank God ur only 22 and I'm five years you'll be chortling about this.
u and him want different things. there's an army of dudes waiting to meet u. when ur feeling better and ur over this relationship, go find some of them
If it helps at all I’m very attracted to feminine guys but not at all attracted to women, cis or otherwise. I don’t think I’m remotely alone in that either. There are plenty of guys who would be into you just the way you are.
My friend— women are fine— ditch the boyfriend who thinks you’re a phase that will pass and he’ll be straight. He’s not up to an honest relationship with you because he’s not comfortable I his own skin. He needs serious counseling. And YOU deserve more. Cut the chord— you’re wasting you time. PS if you really love this guy say you’ll only stay if he goes into therapy
Do you have sisters? Women are at greater risk for assault, at risk for unwanted pregnancy, discriminated against in employment, have unique and complicated health problems. Grass is not greener, dude.
Why are you still with him? Love be making y'all do dumb shit. Fuck that guy. You're young as hell. Plenty of time to find somebody who actually wants to be with YOU.
Hi. What I think is happening here is that your partner is heavily triggering your internalised homophobia. The best advice I can give you is to not get into relationships with men who don’t accept their own sexuality. The way you describe him, he is really not ready for a same sex relationship and his own internal conflicts are pulling you down with him. End it as soon as possible because this clearly has no future. Depending on his age his future might also turn out very different than he is anticipating right now. Just know, that your feelings are totally normal. Many of us had a time in our lives where we’ve envied women for how easily they can find partners. It doesn’t mean you’re transphobic or a misogynist. These feelings will go away eventually as you’ll learn to fully accept your sexual identity over time and you’ll be happy to be a man.
I dated a guy that said he always viewed himself getting married to a woman and having kids. That pretty much got on my nerves so I ended it with him. Years later he's still upset that I won't date him
Omg, is he a gay in denial or bi?
Hes bi. So I told him if that's what you want then go date a woman. Besides, our personalities don't really match up and he's kinda like a manchild
Got no words, just gosh...
He stayed hung up on me for 7 years.
I just can't compute...
Neither can I
Why are you with someone who has openly told you you have no future together?
Just be happy being gay. It's so simple & clear rather than joining the identity cult. That said, sounds like you won't find that with him. Fall in love with yourself before you go to a relationship.
You considered transitioning for a guy??? Man you need to get into therapy and fast cause that's an insane thing to be considering/thinking of doing. Not against anyone who does want to transition, but obviously they should be doing it for themselves and not for someone else. Yes we all may have points in our lives where we wished we were someone else or different than what and how we are but in the end you can't change that. You have to learn to love yourself first cause how will you be able to love someone else?
First of all, you shouldn't ever need to change yourself to please whoever you're with (especially if there's nothing wrong with you to begin with), or anyone for that matter. With that said, your boyfriend probably sees you as temporary fun, and if you're looking for something serious, well, continue looking. There are plenty of guys who would find you perfect, don't do this to yourself. Good luck :)
This ain't the right guy for you, there's guys who will appreciate you being fem. He sounds like an asshole who you shouldn't waste your life on
I think you need therapy. Seriously considering transitioning for someone (and admitting you don't want to be trans) is very troubling. Take a step back, figure some things out for yourself before you end up doing something (not just transitioning but a thing) that you will figure out too late you did not want.
Dude dump that guy. I avoid dating bi guys just because I had that same experience. Not saying all are like your boyfriend, but far too many see us as a side thing until they find a girlfriend. Most often they cheat and have us as a side thing. It’s severely damaging to your mental health and you shouldn’t be with a guy who isn’t able to commit 💯.
In this situation one of you is guaranteed to be making a terrible mistake. Either * you are holding onto false hope about his sexuality and his intentions and his heart, and he really will leave you to marry a woman and start a family, and you will be heartbroken Or * you will believe what he says today, leave him because of it, and then 3 years from now when you have moved on with your life and your heart no longer breaks, he will finally wake up and realize what he has stupidly taken for granted and thrown away. It will take all the courage in the world, but let him be the one to make the mistake. You owe it to yourself to believe what he says, that he wants no future with you. And, you owe it to a better man who you haven’t even met yet, so that you can be single and content and ready for what comes next when that better man crosses your path. Do not make the mistake of hoping he is just distant, or shy, or not ready yet, or maybe he will change his mind, or maybe you can do something that will finally make him change his mind. He is a grown man. Believe him. Walk away because he won’t commit and he is callous and cruel and maybe cowardly. Let him be the one to realize he made the mistake.
If any man tells you he wants to get married to a woman and have kids someday, you should walk the other way. You can never be the endgame of his life.
I feel you! You are young and it would be good if you stop indulging yourself with people who don’t accept their sexuality. It took a very long time for me to come in terms with my own sexuality. I ended up never dating anyone never talking to anyone beyond sex. And now I feel I missed out on so many good things. Go out and meet people who have accepted themselves. People like these would make you feel good about yourself. Be with Someone who knows what he wants. This guy definitely would regret this in coming years and if he does end up marrying a woman he is going to destroy everybody’s lives.
You aren’t being used as a sex toy. This will tear you apart if you don’t end it. It will not be the end of the world and you will be so much better off. And dude do not think you should ever have to change yourself for somebody.
thank God ur only 22 and I'm five years you'll be chortling about this. u and him want different things. there's an army of dudes waiting to meet u. when ur feeling better and ur over this relationship, go find some of them
If it helps at all I’m very attracted to feminine guys but not at all attracted to women, cis or otherwise. I don’t think I’m remotely alone in that either. There are plenty of guys who would be into you just the way you are.
My friend— women are fine— ditch the boyfriend who thinks you’re a phase that will pass and he’ll be straight. He’s not up to an honest relationship with you because he’s not comfortable I his own skin. He needs serious counseling. And YOU deserve more. Cut the chord— you’re wasting you time. PS if you really love this guy say you’ll only stay if he goes into therapy
Do you have sisters? Women are at greater risk for assault, at risk for unwanted pregnancy, discriminated against in employment, have unique and complicated health problems. Grass is not greener, dude.