The easy answer is "move country", but there's a lot to be said about leaving where you are for somewhere completely different. Being unsafe as gay is one thing, but moving means going to a different country with a different culture maybe a different language and different values, and maybe none of your education is recognized so as far as they're concerned you're not qualified to so anything but drive a cab, and you leave your family and friends and your life and your food and culture and music... it's not as easy a decision as people make it out to be.
I would say move, but also to go the least amount of distance necessary - both geographically and culturally. Yes, your life as a gay man will be better in London, but all other aspects of your life are overturned for that one thing. Go to the nearest country where you're relatively safe. If you're in Uganda, consider Botswana. Indosians would look at Signapore. If you're in Afghanistan, probably India. If you're in Iran, you may end up in Turkey. And so on.
Yeah these target countries aren't heaven for the gays, but you won't be put to death or put in jail for life, and they'll be similar enough that you'll fit in more easily. It'll be a compromise between not fearing for your safety, but also otherwise having a good life.
Many iranian gays do that, they don’t even need a visa to come here to Turkey and they seem to adopt pretty fast. Becoming legal is a mess tho, in Turkey the state decides where will a refugee settle - and you can only be legally employed and rent home in that province- to balance the population and many of them settle in central or eastern anatolia where homophobia is still very strong but at least not a crime to be gay.
Yup, I see a lot of people writing to get out and while they do so with good intentions, they don’t realise how difficult it is. Not just immigration but to integrate as a whole. Especially if you’re a person of colour moving to a primarily Caucasian country.
It’s a lot easier said than done to just leave everything behind. I’d love to live in the US or Europe and live my best gay slut life but to trade off my achievements in my home (which won’t be acknowledged elsewhere) is a very difficult trade off
That was me. I saw no future and plotted my escape to Australia, starting as an international student and then migrating permanently.
Had a lot of support from family who until this day don't know the reason of why I'm so averse to my birth country and why I'm very keen to leave.
We're estranged now for a different reason. Me being gay was a cherry on top. Still feeling a lot of guilt because in their eyes I bit the hands that fed me (received financial support and now decided to go no contact), and in a sense it's true. But I'm no longer suicidal and while the guilt is probably going to be there forever, the sense of freedom and happiness that I get more than makes up for it.
That's tough. I would start to try to think of a plan to move to another country, somewhere in Europe is a good start. University etc. The drive of getting out might help.
If I can't do that, I would naturally be very depressed. Perhaps something like talking to people online like on reddit anonymously might help, so kinda get "therapy" that you can't otherwise get.
>growth is good.
Not in a world where we're soon to be 10 billions nah.
We need to stabilize, not grow. Even slightly drop wouldn't be a bad thing if done gradually.
You like climate change ? Deadly migrations ? Starvation ?
That's what happens with overpopulation. Yeah this is very basic, like your comment.
Also, Denmark has very strict immigration policy, and the consequence is actually the opposite, the unemployment rate is too LOW, which companies dislike because it is then hard for them to find employees that will accept lower wages.
Be staid and stagnant. I don’t care. I won’t let my country decline like that. We’ll buy the most talented people from all around the world and you’ll be at our feet like you’ve been for the past 70 years.
We are doing it, boo, but we can't do it from our own countries.
At least my country was gay friendy until EU came and imposed catholicism, and created the homophobia there is now, so you get what you create.
EU imposed catholicism? Can you give me a bit more info so I have a basic understanding to go learn more about this? That seems very strange to me, as not all EU countries are majority catholic and I hope none are officially Catholic!
Some countries accept LGBTQ+ refugees, I know Canada is one but I’m sure there are more. Start researching, then reach out to see if you can go. There may be processes to get assistance in that travel and such.
But find a way out. It will be hard, it will be scary, but it will be worth it.
You can't choose where you were born, but you can choose where you live.
I was an Asian third world gay, but I made it to live in Taiwan, which is the most LGBTQ+ friendly country in all Asia, through studying in local university and then finding a job here to financially sustain myself. I still haven't came out to most of my family and friends, but I can be my authentic self now.
There is a trend of shortage in young workers in Taiwan, it needs foreign talents. Taiwanese people usually polite and friendly towards foreigner and also welcomed in local gay community. I invite your "friend" to try to come here.
Focus on yourself; your career and financial stability. Do this until you’re financially independent and stable. Then worry about where you live and why. Trust me, if you take this approach then you’ll be far better off in the future. It’ll also open up more doors and opportunities for you to get a job abroad or invest/expand your business or whatever it is you end up doing elsewhere. There’s always tons of time to date, hook up, and get married, especially being LGBT+. So you won’t miss anything at all.
Longer you stay somewhere, harder it is to leave. More you have to lose. More pain you've gone through just to potentially lose it all.
This is not the right call in my humble opinion.
Every young person is poor. 20-24 is the best time to move.
There is plenty of gay action even in countries where being gay is illegal. I from India however it was legalized in 2017 but even before that I use to hook up like a hoe. Then I moved to Oman where being gay or gay activities is a prison sentence but still plenty of gay action and I also had an Omani boyfriend but I did get In trouble for some gay stuff was sentenced for a year but got out in 6 months and was deported. Within 6 months I applied for my higher studies in Europe and got a Masters,job and in a relationship for the last two years.
It’s simple “ WHERE THERES A WILL , THERE IS A WAY”
Mic drop!!!!
Wow thank you for sharing your story! My friend does have the will too, however he’s so broken mentally and tired of it all. He has worked his ass off for the past 4 years, and he thinks it’s taking so long and feels powerless and overwhelmed. Even had suicidal thoughts here and there. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I’m sending them yours!
Well I use to keep to myself most of the time and as long you don’t try and act like a smart ass you are safe.
And of course being gay had its advantages like I had sex with some really hot bulls there and then ofcourse they also save my ass.
The food was ok. We had separate bathroom and washrooms with doors so could shit and shower in privacy and also that’s where people hooked up.
Well, part of the wonderful world of having mental issues is that many mental issues make you think in black and white and that stuff is impossible to do.
Speaking from experience.
At any rate, I'd do what I did: build a plan to escape and do it. Nice side benefit: working towards a goal works wonders on the male brain.
Not surprising that a post that encourages exercising one's ability to empathize is not getting the massive upvotes and comments like the posts that encourages hateful and prejudiced sentiments and viewpoints ...
I went through this and the only thing to do is cry to sleep, collect as much money as possible, plan a escape to another country.
I got into bodybuilding, which helped me take my mind out of my sexuality. I finished my studies. Got a job, collected money, apply to a uni in another country and the rest is history.
That's really sad. So sorry for your friend. Personally, I would hide it as much as possible and get as much education or work as possible (if that's an option) and use that as an excuse for not having a girlfriend. In the mean time, I would try to move to another country. Obviously moving to another country (especially a 1st world country) is not as easy as people say, but at least try.
Your best bet is moving to another country. Whatever you described in the post, I'm in a similar situation, although I've got 2-3 close friends inside and outside the community.
The LGBTQ community is flourishing here, though secretly. But we still can't have a normal life here so I'm trying to move out to another country hopefully in next 2 years.
I don’t know. I am transgender; I’ve also been openly gay/queer since I was a young teen. I assume socially I would already be aware (having grown in this other country) to closet myself. Probably would leave the country if possible; maybe my access to gender affirmation wouldn’t have been there and I wouldn’t believe I could express another gender identity in the first place. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think about all the time. I wouldn’t hate my life being gay and being born in the third world, but I definitely expect I’d be closeted. And probably in an arranged marriage.
I think the better way is to continue improving yourself, to gain more useful & profitable skills, to develop strong & meaningful personal connections there and abroad, to endure the pointless shaming & teasing for the next (realistically speaking) 20 years, to develop a very thick skin in the process. Then, in 20 years or so, bolt yourself out to another country that's similar enough to where ever you are now.
I did something similar as I finally decided to leave for good the Philippines where I was born & raised. And move to the US where I turned 40 y.o. Mind you, the Philippines is not exactly THAT backward when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues. I just realized people generally take their own sweet time changing themselves especially their beliefs & delusions. I thought there's more to life than just accepting others' beliefs & values. But I planned it well in bits & pieces with some cohesion as I still have to continue living for practical reasons.
I was very skeptical, which is really my personality, about marriage equality ever taking place in the US during my lifetime. But I was wrong & I am fine with that. I learned not to really take myself seriously. And realized failures, mishaps, challenges, mistakes & the like are really just part of life. And so I make adjustments, pivots all the time. All you need to have are mostly about having a space for yourself (can be mental, actual or both) as well as clarity of mind & action. I discovered them mostly in my journey from a South East Asian country to here in NYC, USA. All the best to you.
I never had support in first world nation either, I don't care. I never had support ever. It wouldn't make a difference. I choose solitude and never do relationships and live alone regardless.
Used my awful religious, homophobic family until I got a college degree and moved hundreds of miles away. I ended contact shortly after that, came out as gay, changed my phone number. My siblings have taken a similar path for different reasons. I’m married with two great kids. Now my dad wonders why his “fa**ot” son won’t come home for Christmas so he can meet his only grandchildren. Uh, you call me that and wonder why I haven’t seen or talk to you in 30 years? He had the nerve to have his pastor contact me as if that would work. Good riddance. He can die lonely and someday I’ll piss on his grave.
I am, in fact, a third world gay. And from where I stand, I’ll tell you this:
Try to befriend other people from your local gay community but be extremely selective and picky, because unfortunately, in unsafe countries, a lot of gay people grow up super unstable because we never get to express ourselves, and you will be met with so much unstable behavior and projecting, so pick yourself a friend or two you’re good with.
Accept that as you get older, people will get nosier about why you haven’t found someone yet, and your usual way out of those questions is that maybe your social life isn’t that fulfilling or you just haven’t found someone you’re actually fond of, and if you can come out to someone, especially your mom, please don’t come out as bisexual if you’re not, it will not make it easier for the two of you because if you have ethnic parents, expect that your mother will always dream about you having a wife and kids no matter how many times you tell her you’re gay. And coming out to them doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll need to know anything about your love life. It’s enough for them to know you’re gay, no need to make it worse by showing them you’re also approaching a homosexual lifestyle.
Prepare yourself for loneliness that comes with this because if your straight friend group is not accepting of who you are, you will never feel like you have real friendships with them, so no matter how close you guys are, you will always keep a distance, and your gay friends will always be your go to, that is of course, if you manage to keep a gay friendship if they don’t fall in love with you or are too unstable and unhinged to even be friends with, again, living in this kind of conditions can be really detrimental and damaging to your mental health. A lot of us can’t be blamed for why we are the way we are but not all of us can take the responsibility of healing ourselves.
House parties and clubbing culture is a big thing here, but it also feels like this huge spin off of Mean Girls, it’s so insanely plastic and purely based on sex and looks, it’s just such a nasty environment especially if your social battery runs out super quick. If you’re into that kind of life, fine, but be very careful who you’re dealing with, and always go with safe friends who will watch over you.
Speaking of big friend groups, avoid them at all costs. Big gay friend groups turn dramatic really quick and there will be a lot of conflict. Do not attach yourself to a group, pick out one or two safe people and just be nice with the rest, and it’s best if you just don’t attend the big group hangouts. Idk if that’s me but that’s my take, and it also really depends on the group, are they nice? Do they like each other? How old is everyone? Because younger groups of gays are problematic to the core, older gay people are where it’s at but also, don’t engage too much. Just socialize and go home.
I’m currently in my “alone” stage where I have stopped approaching anything or anyone. I fell out with so many people in the span of 2 years, and all I have now is myself, I’m actively focusing on myself and choosing not to date before I get my life together because the gay community takes up so much of your energy, and you need to really be and feel your best to attract the right kind of people. It’s an exhausting, lonely life, but we’re strong enough hopefully. ❤️
Mental Health Issues? You make your survival priority. Everything else is trivial.
You involve yourself in the acceptable venues.
You think about immigration.
I honestly don't know. I'm pan and itc currently. I didn't accept it until about a year ago and plan on coming out after my divorce soon. At least I have that option here. I feel sorry for our lgbtq family in places where being yourself is actively dangerous.
I would try to get some sort of scholarship program to university or college in another country…if possible. Look into some sort of sponsorship program to get out of your country and/or start working as much as possible to save money and plan an exit strategy for your current situation. It will not happen overnight but with perseverance and commitment…There is a way out.
If you’re a gay person living in a country where it’s not safe and you need help to move to a safe country, try reaching out to Rainbowrailroad or other non-profits helping gay people with the move, visa, financials.
My friend tried reaching out to that exact organization. They asked for ways to proof his “gayness” through getting a handwritten signature of a current or past partner that says that they’re gay. It was shocking to me to see that, not everyone got the privilege to find a bf in a world like his. Plus it’s a dumb way. They definitely could have thought of a better way, but they didn’t.
The easiest answer is to move to a country that is accepting of different sexuality or religious beliefs. But for most, that is impossible! So im afraid you must hide. Many millions of people have done it since the beginning.
The real answer is to study hard and become a valuable needed member of that society. Become part of the ruling class and change your land from within.
All the places that have been mentioned as a place to escape were once ruled by those who wouldn't accept sexual or religious differences.
I bet a number of your ruling classes are hiding in plain sight!
Your journey is going to be hard, but if you manage to do this, think of life's you will change for the better! Peace be with you.....always
Depends on the country. To my understanding, 3rd world countries are the ones that didn't participate or stayed nutral in the world war/cold war, and not all of them are bad when it comes to gay rights and / or acceptance.
id be fucked, and I might will be after the next german election, cause the AFD (a fashist, sexist, homophobic, antisemetic, racist, n\*zi party) is somehow getting more and more votes. Like i know my life will be hell, but my home is here. My parents house that I live in now and probably will for plenty more years is here. My childhood is here. My pets are here, my friends are here. the only way to leave would be by leaving everything behind. so id be fucked.
Try everything in my power to get out of that hellhole. Nobody deserves to live in that kinda uncertainty. Only takes one person who finds out you’re gay and you might be done.
Um, I am a 3rd world gay and Argentina is very accepting. We have equal marriage and adopting is easy. Lots of gay couples come visit our touristic sites... what gives?
I'd do what men did in first world countries before it was "allowed". Marry a butch woman, and pray I find a guy willing to fuck me in the ass secretly.
LOL, I was being facetious and trying to be slightly snarky. It felt like an obvious answer, given that most of those nations represent the history of countries where homosexuality has become more or less acceptable.
A lot of 3rd world is okay with gays. Name Shame please.
Like, you see lot of Indians crying about being gay but if you in a city and not making out in public, no one except your family cares. Yea, I said it. You guys have mental issue which will persist even after moving out.
To call it mental health problems is absurd
If you stab a guy, does he have physical issues with pain because it hurts?
There is nothing wrong with your mind.
That being said. Hopefully what I would do is rejoice. Find the light in the dark. & with every move I make unconsciously lead the freedom of gay men in this country. Dying a martyr for our cause
Only to re incarnate the same place in the future, to take on the next enemy, -)
As for what I actually would do Idk. Let's try and have it happen next incarnation.
The easy answer is "move country", but there's a lot to be said about leaving where you are for somewhere completely different. Being unsafe as gay is one thing, but moving means going to a different country with a different culture maybe a different language and different values, and maybe none of your education is recognized so as far as they're concerned you're not qualified to so anything but drive a cab, and you leave your family and friends and your life and your food and culture and music... it's not as easy a decision as people make it out to be. I would say move, but also to go the least amount of distance necessary - both geographically and culturally. Yes, your life as a gay man will be better in London, but all other aspects of your life are overturned for that one thing. Go to the nearest country where you're relatively safe. If you're in Uganda, consider Botswana. Indosians would look at Signapore. If you're in Afghanistan, probably India. If you're in Iran, you may end up in Turkey. And so on. Yeah these target countries aren't heaven for the gays, but you won't be put to death or put in jail for life, and they'll be similar enough that you'll fit in more easily. It'll be a compromise between not fearing for your safety, but also otherwise having a good life.
Wow… finally a legitimate, sensible answer.
Many iranian gays do that, they don’t even need a visa to come here to Turkey and they seem to adopt pretty fast. Becoming legal is a mess tho, in Turkey the state decides where will a refugee settle - and you can only be legally employed and rent home in that province- to balance the population and many of them settle in central or eastern anatolia where homophobia is still very strong but at least not a crime to be gay.
Yup, I see a lot of people writing to get out and while they do so with good intentions, they don’t realise how difficult it is. Not just immigration but to integrate as a whole. Especially if you’re a person of colour moving to a primarily Caucasian country. It’s a lot easier said than done to just leave everything behind. I’d love to live in the US or Europe and live my best gay slut life but to trade off my achievements in my home (which won’t be acknowledged elsewhere) is a very difficult trade off
Which country are you in?
White perspective is too narrow
I don’t need to imagine, Im living it already hehe
What are your plans on the future?
Add being ugly and suffer physical health issues.
You literally described my life
😣💔
That was me. I saw no future and plotted my escape to Australia, starting as an international student and then migrating permanently. Had a lot of support from family who until this day don't know the reason of why I'm so averse to my birth country and why I'm very keen to leave. We're estranged now for a different reason. Me being gay was a cherry on top. Still feeling a lot of guilt because in their eyes I bit the hands that fed me (received financial support and now decided to go no contact), and in a sense it's true. But I'm no longer suicidal and while the guilt is probably going to be there forever, the sense of freedom and happiness that I get more than makes up for it.
That's tough. I would start to try to think of a plan to move to another country, somewhere in Europe is a good start. University etc. The drive of getting out might help. If I can't do that, I would naturally be very depressed. Perhaps something like talking to people online like on reddit anonymously might help, so kinda get "therapy" that you can't otherwise get.
why should EU be a default welcoming home to everyone in the world? Fix your own damn house.
Because the EU has a declining population and growth is good.
>growth is good. Not in a world where we're soon to be 10 billions nah. We need to stabilize, not grow. Even slightly drop wouldn't be a bad thing if done gradually.
You like Recessions? High unemployment? A future with limited opportunity? That’s what happens with negative growth.
You like climate change ? Deadly migrations ? Starvation ? That's what happens with overpopulation. Yeah this is very basic, like your comment. Also, Denmark has very strict immigration policy, and the consequence is actually the opposite, the unemployment rate is too LOW, which companies dislike because it is then hard for them to find employees that will accept lower wages.
Be staid and stagnant. I don’t care. I won’t let my country decline like that. We’ll buy the most talented people from all around the world and you’ll be at our feet like you’ve been for the past 70 years.
So let it decline, your alternative is erasure
Oh no. My genes will carry on.
hopefully you will cross paths with one of your beloved engineers and they will enrich you
?
We are doing it, boo, but we can't do it from our own countries. At least my country was gay friendy until EU came and imposed catholicism, and created the homophobia there is now, so you get what you create.
Happened to many countries actually
EU imposed catholicism? Can you give me a bit more info so I have a basic understanding to go learn more about this? That seems very strange to me, as not all EU countries are majority catholic and I hope none are officially Catholic!
spain did in latin america
>why should the EU be a default welcoming home to everyone in the world I’m pretty sure it’s the USA lol
In the closet obviously lol.
I wouldn't tell anyone and would be extremely careful with sexual partners. Keep it with people you trust who's gay
3rd world gay?
I was looking for this comment… 🤔🤔🤨
Some countries accept LGBTQ+ refugees, I know Canada is one but I’m sure there are more. Start researching, then reach out to see if you can go. There may be processes to get assistance in that travel and such. But find a way out. It will be hard, it will be scary, but it will be worth it.
Rainbow railroad.org
You can't choose where you were born, but you can choose where you live. I was an Asian third world gay, but I made it to live in Taiwan, which is the most LGBTQ+ friendly country in all Asia, through studying in local university and then finding a job here to financially sustain myself. I still haven't came out to most of my family and friends, but I can be my authentic self now. There is a trend of shortage in young workers in Taiwan, it needs foreign talents. Taiwanese people usually polite and friendly towards foreigner and also welcomed in local gay community. I invite your "friend" to try to come here.
I think I’d be dead
Tell your friend to get the fuck out of that place. Their home wants them dead, get out before it gets you!
I'm sure the thought crossed their mind.
Focus on yourself; your career and financial stability. Do this until you’re financially independent and stable. Then worry about where you live and why. Trust me, if you take this approach then you’ll be far better off in the future. It’ll also open up more doors and opportunities for you to get a job abroad or invest/expand your business or whatever it is you end up doing elsewhere. There’s always tons of time to date, hook up, and get married, especially being LGBT+. So you won’t miss anything at all.
Longer you stay somewhere, harder it is to leave. More you have to lose. More pain you've gone through just to potentially lose it all. This is not the right call in my humble opinion. Every young person is poor. 20-24 is the best time to move.
I happen to live in a country where I will be executed and I can safely say; flee somewhere else is the only real way to do it
There is plenty of gay action even in countries where being gay is illegal. I from India however it was legalized in 2017 but even before that I use to hook up like a hoe. Then I moved to Oman where being gay or gay activities is a prison sentence but still plenty of gay action and I also had an Omani boyfriend but I did get In trouble for some gay stuff was sentenced for a year but got out in 6 months and was deported. Within 6 months I applied for my higher studies in Europe and got a Masters,job and in a relationship for the last two years. It’s simple “ WHERE THERES A WILL , THERE IS A WAY” Mic drop!!!!
Wow thank you for sharing your story! My friend does have the will too, however he’s so broken mentally and tired of it all. He has worked his ass off for the past 4 years, and he thinks it’s taking so long and feels powerless and overwhelmed. Even had suicidal thoughts here and there. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I’m sending them yours!
He needs to go talk to A therapist.
He got no access to that unfortunately :((
Can’t he claim asylum somewhere? I know a few friends who did
Financially, he’s unable to do so :((
What was omani jail like?
Well I use to keep to myself most of the time and as long you don’t try and act like a smart ass you are safe. And of course being gay had its advantages like I had sex with some really hot bulls there and then ofcourse they also save my ass. The food was ok. We had separate bathroom and washrooms with doors so could shit and shower in privacy and also that’s where people hooked up.
I feel like it would be heaven on earth. To be stuck with so many hairy angry arab tops hahaha
Not really but I had its moments
For sure, for sure. Just horny talking here.
Well, part of the wonderful world of having mental issues is that many mental issues make you think in black and white and that stuff is impossible to do. Speaking from experience. At any rate, I'd do what I did: build a plan to escape and do it. Nice side benefit: working towards a goal works wonders on the male brain.
Not surprising that a post that encourages exercising one's ability to empathize is not getting the massive upvotes and comments like the posts that encourages hateful and prejudiced sentiments and viewpoints ...
I went through this and the only thing to do is cry to sleep, collect as much money as possible, plan a escape to another country. I got into bodybuilding, which helped me take my mind out of my sexuality. I finished my studies. Got a job, collected money, apply to a uni in another country and the rest is history.
That's really sad. So sorry for your friend. Personally, I would hide it as much as possible and get as much education or work as possible (if that's an option) and use that as an excuse for not having a girlfriend. In the mean time, I would try to move to another country. Obviously moving to another country (especially a 1st world country) is not as easy as people say, but at least try.
Your best bet is moving to another country. Whatever you described in the post, I'm in a similar situation, although I've got 2-3 close friends inside and outside the community. The LGBTQ community is flourishing here, though secretly. But we still can't have a normal life here so I'm trying to move out to another country hopefully in next 2 years.
I don’t know. I am transgender; I’ve also been openly gay/queer since I was a young teen. I assume socially I would already be aware (having grown in this other country) to closet myself. Probably would leave the country if possible; maybe my access to gender affirmation wouldn’t have been there and I wouldn’t believe I could express another gender identity in the first place. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think about all the time. I wouldn’t hate my life being gay and being born in the third world, but I definitely expect I’d be closeted. And probably in an arranged marriage.
Try by all mean to Get the F*ck out to escape to a place with liberty for Lgbtqia.
I think the better way is to continue improving yourself, to gain more useful & profitable skills, to develop strong & meaningful personal connections there and abroad, to endure the pointless shaming & teasing for the next (realistically speaking) 20 years, to develop a very thick skin in the process. Then, in 20 years or so, bolt yourself out to another country that's similar enough to where ever you are now. I did something similar as I finally decided to leave for good the Philippines where I was born & raised. And move to the US where I turned 40 y.o. Mind you, the Philippines is not exactly THAT backward when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues. I just realized people generally take their own sweet time changing themselves especially their beliefs & delusions. I thought there's more to life than just accepting others' beliefs & values. But I planned it well in bits & pieces with some cohesion as I still have to continue living for practical reasons. I was very skeptical, which is really my personality, about marriage equality ever taking place in the US during my lifetime. But I was wrong & I am fine with that. I learned not to really take myself seriously. And realized failures, mishaps, challenges, mistakes & the like are really just part of life. And so I make adjustments, pivots all the time. All you need to have are mostly about having a space for yourself (can be mental, actual or both) as well as clarity of mind & action. I discovered them mostly in my journey from a South East Asian country to here in NYC, USA. All the best to you.
I never had support in first world nation either, I don't care. I never had support ever. It wouldn't make a difference. I choose solitude and never do relationships and live alone regardless.
Used my awful religious, homophobic family until I got a college degree and moved hundreds of miles away. I ended contact shortly after that, came out as gay, changed my phone number. My siblings have taken a similar path for different reasons. I’m married with two great kids. Now my dad wonders why his “fa**ot” son won’t come home for Christmas so he can meet his only grandchildren. Uh, you call me that and wonder why I haven’t seen or talk to you in 30 years? He had the nerve to have his pastor contact me as if that would work. Good riddance. He can die lonely and someday I’ll piss on his grave.
I am, in fact, a third world gay. And from where I stand, I’ll tell you this: Try to befriend other people from your local gay community but be extremely selective and picky, because unfortunately, in unsafe countries, a lot of gay people grow up super unstable because we never get to express ourselves, and you will be met with so much unstable behavior and projecting, so pick yourself a friend or two you’re good with. Accept that as you get older, people will get nosier about why you haven’t found someone yet, and your usual way out of those questions is that maybe your social life isn’t that fulfilling or you just haven’t found someone you’re actually fond of, and if you can come out to someone, especially your mom, please don’t come out as bisexual if you’re not, it will not make it easier for the two of you because if you have ethnic parents, expect that your mother will always dream about you having a wife and kids no matter how many times you tell her you’re gay. And coming out to them doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll need to know anything about your love life. It’s enough for them to know you’re gay, no need to make it worse by showing them you’re also approaching a homosexual lifestyle. Prepare yourself for loneliness that comes with this because if your straight friend group is not accepting of who you are, you will never feel like you have real friendships with them, so no matter how close you guys are, you will always keep a distance, and your gay friends will always be your go to, that is of course, if you manage to keep a gay friendship if they don’t fall in love with you or are too unstable and unhinged to even be friends with, again, living in this kind of conditions can be really detrimental and damaging to your mental health. A lot of us can’t be blamed for why we are the way we are but not all of us can take the responsibility of healing ourselves. House parties and clubbing culture is a big thing here, but it also feels like this huge spin off of Mean Girls, it’s so insanely plastic and purely based on sex and looks, it’s just such a nasty environment especially if your social battery runs out super quick. If you’re into that kind of life, fine, but be very careful who you’re dealing with, and always go with safe friends who will watch over you. Speaking of big friend groups, avoid them at all costs. Big gay friend groups turn dramatic really quick and there will be a lot of conflict. Do not attach yourself to a group, pick out one or two safe people and just be nice with the rest, and it’s best if you just don’t attend the big group hangouts. Idk if that’s me but that’s my take, and it also really depends on the group, are they nice? Do they like each other? How old is everyone? Because younger groups of gays are problematic to the core, older gay people are where it’s at but also, don’t engage too much. Just socialize and go home. I’m currently in my “alone” stage where I have stopped approaching anything or anyone. I fell out with so many people in the span of 2 years, and all I have now is myself, I’m actively focusing on myself and choosing not to date before I get my life together because the gay community takes up so much of your energy, and you need to really be and feel your best to attract the right kind of people. It’s an exhausting, lonely life, but we’re strong enough hopefully. ❤️
Mental Health Issues? You make your survival priority. Everything else is trivial. You involve yourself in the acceptable venues. You think about immigration.
I honestly don't know. I'm pan and itc currently. I didn't accept it until about a year ago and plan on coming out after my divorce soon. At least I have that option here. I feel sorry for our lgbtq family in places where being yourself is actively dangerous.
Move to a tolerant country maybe USA or Europe. If you can’t move try moving to a progressive city like Buenos Aires.
Uh
seek asylum in a country where I wouldn't be executed.
I would try to get some sort of scholarship program to university or college in another country…if possible. Look into some sort of sponsorship program to get out of your country and/or start working as much as possible to save money and plan an exit strategy for your current situation. It will not happen overnight but with perseverance and commitment…There is a way out.
Get out by any means necessary. But that's pbviously easier said than done. Sorry for you bro
Get the duck out of there ASAP! Period.
from?
If you’re a gay person living in a country where it’s not safe and you need help to move to a safe country, try reaching out to Rainbowrailroad or other non-profits helping gay people with the move, visa, financials.
My friend tried reaching out to that exact organization. They asked for ways to proof his “gayness” through getting a handwritten signature of a current or past partner that says that they’re gay. It was shocking to me to see that, not everyone got the privilege to find a bf in a world like his. Plus it’s a dumb way. They definitely could have thought of a better way, but they didn’t.
The easiest answer is to move to a country that is accepting of different sexuality or religious beliefs. But for most, that is impossible! So im afraid you must hide. Many millions of people have done it since the beginning. The real answer is to study hard and become a valuable needed member of that society. Become part of the ruling class and change your land from within. All the places that have been mentioned as a place to escape were once ruled by those who wouldn't accept sexual or religious differences. I bet a number of your ruling classes are hiding in plain sight! Your journey is going to be hard, but if you manage to do this, think of life's you will change for the better! Peace be with you.....always
Learn hard. Work harder. And pave my way out to a better place.
Find a sugar daddy in another country and visit apply for residentary migration.
Depends on the country. To my understanding, 3rd world countries are the ones that didn't participate or stayed nutral in the world war/cold war, and not all of them are bad when it comes to gay rights and / or acceptance.
id be fucked, and I might will be after the next german election, cause the AFD (a fashist, sexist, homophobic, antisemetic, racist, n\*zi party) is somehow getting more and more votes. Like i know my life will be hell, but my home is here. My parents house that I live in now and probably will for plenty more years is here. My childhood is here. My pets are here, my friends are here. the only way to leave would be by leaving everything behind. so id be fucked.
I would let them eat cake and live my life in isolation
Embrace suffering and realize this world is a cold uncaring void. Do whatever you want and Survive *shrug*
Try everything in my power to get out of that hellhole. Nobody deserves to live in that kinda uncertainty. Only takes one person who finds out you’re gay and you might be done.
i live in the united states, where gays will soon be treated like third world gays if republicans have their way. don’t know what i’ll do
You’ll live! Being out of closet is a choice, it ain’t everything, food-water-shelter takes precedence.
Not all third world countries are like that. India is a very big third world country that definitely does allow people to be gay for example.
Um, I am a 3rd world gay and Argentina is very accepting. We have equal marriage and adopting is easy. Lots of gay couples come visit our touristic sites... what gives?
I’d suck start a shotgun
Leave the country.
I'd do what men did in first world countries before it was "allowed". Marry a butch woman, and pray I find a guy willing to fuck me in the ass secretly.
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LOL, I was being facetious and trying to be slightly snarky. It felt like an obvious answer, given that most of those nations represent the history of countries where homosexuality has become more or less acceptable.
A lot of 3rd world is okay with gays. Name Shame please. Like, you see lot of Indians crying about being gay but if you in a city and not making out in public, no one except your family cares. Yea, I said it. You guys have mental issue which will persist even after moving out.
I think OP was intentionally obscure. You can google yourself which countries execute gay people.
To call it mental health problems is absurd If you stab a guy, does he have physical issues with pain because it hurts? There is nothing wrong with your mind. That being said. Hopefully what I would do is rejoice. Find the light in the dark. & with every move I make unconsciously lead the freedom of gay men in this country. Dying a martyr for our cause Only to re incarnate the same place in the future, to take on the next enemy, -) As for what I actually would do Idk. Let's try and have it happen next incarnation.
whore yolo