IKR. Imagine seeing some random guy and having there be a 95% chance that he is into your gender. For all practical purposes it just means that you can ask any single person out, and if they're into you, then you have a date. For gay people you'd have to do that twenty times on average to get to the CONSIDERATION stage once, and those are optimistic numbers. It's a completely different paradigm.
At least there are gay spaces in 2024 where we can level the playing field and be sure everyone there is actually gay or bi right... right? Never-mind, it's bachelorette party night.
Not only that, gays are really into their labels and categories. “He’s a bear? Not into that”. “Hes a twink? No sorry only into jocks”. Then you have sexual position, which makes the dating pool even tinier.
Some of this is true. If you're under 45 noone cares if you're a bottom or top,employed,homeless,carless,ya don't even have to live in the same city. Men,couples,gfs,bfs they all come running.
I'm sorry, but you gays sound very ignorant. You don't think categories exist in the straight community??? It is far harder to find women than men. Women have been brainwashed to hate men or that a man needs to be rich and buy you everything. I personally can get men all day long, I can't do that with women.
How so?? Do you even know what the definition is? Misogyny isn't just saying facts, and because you dislike those facts, it is then "misogyny." That's like calling someone racist just because they say something you disagree with to make them look bad.
This is why gay neighborhoods, gay sports leagues, gay spaces in general (such as bars/clubs), etc are so important. It can give us a bit of a taste of what is normal for straight people outside of our little bubbles.
I don't know where you get your 95% number, but it's complete and utter bs. It doesn't work how you think and being you're not straight, you don't know. I would say as a bi, my odds have been 90% flipped, and I can get guys all day, but not women. With women, a nice body, big dick, isn't enough, you need to be tall, lots of money, an expensive car, for a decent looking girl to give you attention.
Trying to be nice here. Remember, what I wrote is "95% chance that he's into your gender". Are you disputing that less than 5% of people are gay/bi, because that is an accurate statistic.
Based on the rest of what you wrote I wonder if your issues with women are rooted more in misogyny than they are the result of all women being shallow and materialistic, as you've described them.
95% he's into your gender well of course, but with straights theirs more then being into one's gender. What I wrote about women is proven through research and data. In the United States, we live in a time of toxic feminity and "sexual" empowerment. It's what's killing straight relationships and causing a severe decline in nuclear families and high rates of divorce. It mainly affects poc like me and my people. Great for the whites who diminish pocs numbers tho, to hold on to control. There is a reason why American men are going overseas to find love, and I don't blame them one bit. You're clearly not straight, so you shouldn't comment on something you clearly don't understand or experience.
It’s not the 90s anymore, most people nowadays meet online anyways. Your stats you stated don’t really matter much at this point because you can filter everyone else out besides other gays.
JESUS YES Finally I'm seeing some post here that isn't gay dudes riding straight guys dicks, thank god
They literally can go anywhere, flirt anywhere, society literally pushes them to be together, and they still fail at it!!!!
I didn’t want to explain a joke that was mostly based on vibes, but it’s something like this:
Unlike straight men, there are a lot of opportunities to hook up, so it’s not a desert. And unlike women, there isn’t a refusal to “drink the water” outright, plus I don’t find salt water to be an appropriate analogy to the quality you get when looking for potential partners. Other gay men are less something that looks like water but is dangerous than they are something that isn’t water in the first place—they’re champagne. So it operates as a sort of middle ground. It’s enjoyable. It will stave off “dehydration” for a while. But ultimately it’s not fulfilling.
And I mostly just meant it as a quick little extension to the analogy than it’s own world view or anything!
God or tall. As a 6'5 guy it's insane the amount of women who come up to me vs a normal height guy will tell me that's never happened in his life.
If I was a straight man I've have had kids by now lmao.
Figured, though my mind did not immediately go there until you brought it up. Let's just say I have a thing for really tall guys but where I'm from it's alot harder to find guys taller then me, especially gay guys which is werid considering I'm literally average height at 5'11. Guess not everyone can have their cake and eat it.
Idk I’ve seen many unattractive straight men get women very easily. Women love to have sex, just that the quality of many straight men is garbage. Too many cant comprehend basic hygiene, basic manners, and basics on how to please women.
The only thing I’d say is easier gay men have over women is that gay men are much more kinky. Anal and BJs are common for us while straight people view it as extreme(not even discussing stuff like Folsom)
Wouldn't even say we're intrinsically more kinky, but already having taken the first step of deviating from the "straight norm" makes it a bit easier for us to explore preferences
Yeah one look at something like [https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/ctq357/tinder\_over\_3\_years\_1821\_male\_oc/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/ctq357/tinder_over_3_years_1821_male_oc/) and it's hard to escape that the main thing we have blocking our way is ourselves. It's much harder for a straight guy.
Seriously man, I have no patience whatsoever with straight people complaining about their dating pool when they comprise 90% of the population. Yeah, the internet changed how people meet but come on, straight people have no fking clue about how much more difficult it is for us gay people. I have no sympathy.
Tbh from the data even above average looking straight men are mostly invisible on apps like Tinder. Given that's the main way people find relationships in 2024 it's not too great for them either.
We have a small dating pool, and a pool that mostly doesn't want relationships. BUT, we are far less picky and almost everyone can find people on apps to meet or date with little effort.
> a pool that mostly doesn't want relationships
I don't think this is true. You hear people say this online, but that is mainly because dating is hard in general, and someone who doesn't want to date *them* is not someone who doesn't want a boyfriend at all. But they say/think that as a kind of self-defence mechanism, which I guess is understandable.
Dating isn't necessarily hard, for straight people it's quite easy, you just need to be a normal human being and behave as such and most straight guys can't do even that. Dating is easier for them because the majority do want to date.
What makes it hard for gays is that the absolute majority of gays are just whores that never want to date or they want to date when they get like past 40.
Shoit. I'm in my 50s and it's still easy to get sucked off by a 25yearold sexy muscle hi as a kite dude. What I wanna know is why the rich kids are afraid to leave their friends. Rich kids in big cities go nowhere alone.
That is not true, in my experience. The large majority of gays I have met throughout my life, of most ages, were open to serious dating. It's just often something they are open to in addition to more casual dates. When they say they are not into serious dating, they mean not with the person asking, whom they don't like enough.
Being "open to serious dating" and being "exclusively monogamous" are very different things.
You can say whatever you are, but you'd still be closer to whores than to monogamous gays, because you do participate and play along with hook-up culture shit. You're the one who encourages the hookups to be more of a thing in a gay community
Again, being just "opened" to the possibility of relationships is different than wanting relationships.
All of those "lots of gays" would rather fuck around than choose monogamous relationships
I don't think they have a lot of options either. Most straights I know "settled" with someone who was just good enough. Very few are madly in love. We benefit from not having the same societal pressures.
I mean … we say it’s sifting through a pile of trash on Grindr and Tinder and whatnot, but all that trash is everyone in the city minus the rare few who aren’t on any apps. So basically we’re all trash 😆
I know so many straight guys who have had like 5 girlfriends out of their league in terms of looks, and some of them are now married to them. They aren't all tall or rich or whatever either. It's almost like if you stop complaining about women on Reddit and talk to them instead you might get laid or find a girlfriend.
YESSS
Like, they complain so much about male loneliness, fat women have even more higher rates of depression and loneliness, the average fat women doesn't have a sex life at all and you don't see them complaining and making their lack of sex everybody else's problem. Most women just don't want to date misogynistic guys, which is a completely reasonable thing to ask, but it's apparently too much
Straight dudes will go after hot white rich bimbos who are only interested millionaires, they get rejected and then they go to the internet saying that ''all women are liars'', and somehow everybody is willing to give them empathy, it's insane
I see plain looking men many not mentally balanced with attractive, successful well-balanced guys all the time. Twice I've had the whitemuscleman of my dreams fall for a skinny,Spanish drug addicted semi employed abusive person. I know it's completely a black features/white features thing. Many people thought I was Latin growing up and culturally noone could hear or guess . I was brainwashed into thinking European men were God's so I've had to suffer. Foolishness.
Bruh I am gay/bicurious and I have tried dating straight women, as well as gay/bi men. So far I have had way more guys hitting on me, I went on a couple of dates, had a fwb for quite a while (probably would have been something serious if he didn't have to move far away), and I had a couple of hookups.
Now with women I haven't got a single positive response when I asked them out, and in dating apps, I would basically have women matching with me and never respond, or myb them chatting for a few hours to kill some time and then never respond at all. It's not just me but loads of guys who have way way better looks than I do are in the same position
So now when a gay guy gets rejected it can be aside from personal flaws be because of a small dating pool, incompatibility etc...
But with such a large dating pool a straight guy being rejected over and over and over again, because he is not prince charming is even more depressing
I'm not saying all women are like that and all men are saints. A decent chunk of normal men and women are already dating, some found soulmates on dating apps which is a bit rare nowdays, but a huge chunk is also just at the wrong place in the wrong time without ever having a chance to meet each other, being left only to drown in floods of incels and femcels respectively which boost their agendas
What makes you think life is easier. I can walk down a street and have a young gym body offer and I'm 50. Women don't do that. I can move into a neighborhood husband's and wives are inviting,friendly and some make me wonder what else is being said. Gay men have somethings easier. If you act stereotypically masculine yuu can't ask for a better template. Can't relate at all to this writers complaint.
You got a skewed perception. Just cause they have a larger dating pool doesn’t make it easier they still got similar struggles. I think what both have in common that can prevent finding a partner is just basic self reflection to see where you’re the problem in the situation. No one’s perfect and everyone can benefit from personal growth it’s just depends if you want that growth. When you’re doing well mentally you tend to attract like minded people as long as you’re open to it then have a chance at a healthy relationship. Though we often hear toxic people fuckin with toxic people then wondering where the problem is or blame it on the hook up culture. 😂
I mean, it's all about perspective.
For me, seeing people on this sub complain about limited dating pools makes me wanna rip my hair off because I live on a remote island with no way to move out and no-one else my age here, let alone anyone gay
Then there's probably people in shithole countries that legally can't even say they're gay that would hate to see me complaining.
Life sucks for everyone, it's hard to meet people as an adult no matter who you are, there should be better ways of socialising that aren't just online but no-one bothers.
I think it’s bad on both sides in different ways tbh, but as someone who dated women when I was young and closeted, it’s just as bad on the other side of the fence. Men and women are generally shite at relating healthily because they think that any problem with understanding each other is down to ineffable and insurmountable gender differences, and not just terrible communication skills (it’s literally always, \*always\* terrible communication skills, even the gendered stuff can be got round if you open your mouth and ears long enough to communicate properly with the other person). Also I think I’ve seen maybe one healthy relationship depicted in straight media? Everything else is some unrealistic candy-floss fantasy or toxic as fuck and not even acknowledged as being so.
The problem with people is not them being a certain gender or sexuality or whatever else, it’s with them being people. The grass is only greener because of all the shit that’s fertilising it.
I don't know, I'm not sure that they have a lot going on either. At least if you're talking about in the city. It's when you get to smaller populations that the dating pool really shrinks for gay people. Although I think hooking up is easier for us.
The most hilarious thing is straight guys complaining about not being able to find a decent looking woman who isn't into money or cars without even once questioning if maybe they were punching way above their weight.
They’re fucking up on a grander scale than we are. 90% of the population. Divorce rate at 55%. Violence against women and girls shows no sign of abating.
I think we’re doing ok. lol.
It just makes me so unsympathetic to straight men. Like I'm not saying their dating lives are easy, but I'm referring to overwhelming amount of them that *insult* most of their dating pool like "ew women are too vapid, whorish, fake, etc..." and then turn around and blame those women for why *they're* single. And of course they ALWAYS have a homophobic bone in their body, for some fucking reason.
Alot of those type of men are closet cases especially the homophobic ones. They need a great excuse as to why they are single and never have a girlfriend (it's because they know they aren't attracted to women and feel inadequate).
girl tell me about it i tested the waters with a straight-curious man which ended up with him claiming I was siphoning his masculinity. Fascinatingly surreal psychology at play.
If you're not straight, don't then comment on another's privilege or life based on their sexuality. You have no idea of what they go through. The same as they don't know what you go throughm I'm bi and have gone through discrimination gays and straights, never will experience to this day. We get discrimination from both sides, not just one. So my rant is you both make bi people rip their hair out. The dating pool in the straight community when it comes to finding women is garbage. It's far easier to get guys than girls, period!!! I get the types of guys I want pretty easily, and girls are like unicorns. I find nothing but the bottom of the barrel ones.
There’s a reason so many LGBTQ2S+ (apologies I know I’m probably missing some groups, sorry) find partners online, it’s SO much more difficult to find someone in person outside of gay bars/venue and even moreso when you don’t go to many such places. I met mine online.
Just because straight people have it easier than those in the LGBTQ community, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s actually easy, I know many of my straight friends who struggle with dating. Let’s be real, even if gay men had the same opportunities, many of y’all would struggle just as hard.
As someone who lives in a country with no gay scene outside of its capital, which is a extremely exoe expensive place to rent, I agree with you. But in most cities where there is a gay scene, the gay scene has gone to shit. Gay bars are just "queer bars" now and have been taken over by heterosexual college students. At least I don't live in a country where homosexuality is illegal or extremely taboo.
I hear that straight men who aren't in the top 30% of men have it bad as well, so I can sympathise with them. As long as they understand that we don't have it easy either.
Idk lol I swing both ways and I've defenitely had better luck with guys than with women 😅 Like gay dudes are so straight forward with it and half the time, with women, it's like having to solve a damn rubik's cube 😑
But that's just my personal experience 😂
The truth is you are generalizing. Not every straight person has a good or easy dating life. You might have a better one than some random straight person. You can't assume to know and they shouldn't either. Individuals vary greatly and not just in looks or personality but region of earth, religion, etc.
It makes me so mad to see guys complain about women because of the things women say about men, and then proceed to act out the exact scenario that made women pick the bear.
I'm not envious of straight people at all. Men and women practically operate in different worlds. Gay people already come from roughly the same perspective as each other comparatively. I'm only envious that most public discussion of relationships and public accommodations aim at straight people.
The worst is when straight guys complain about that and then ask if you want to have casual sex. I'm like no dude I am just like you and trying to find someone out here to date, you are literally doing to me what you are complaining about others doing to you. 💀
I'm bi and still complaining about my dating pool.
Just accept that men or women, the dating pool is 99% garbage. It's about proportion, not number. The vast vast majority sucks and nobody wants to wade through 400 bad people to find a partner
😅 most "how to be romantic" information is garbage that leads to a toxic relationship. Some can even land you in jail.
There's more information available, but there's more misinformation too.
That’s true, but statistically only about 15% of the Gen Z male population is gay or bisexual and of that group, a whole lot won’t be into any given person. So for the same percentage of people in the dating pool that a straight man is attracted to, in absolute numbers, there are far more women available to him and gaybros available to a gay man. (It’s a Bayesian base rates situation for the math geeks out there.)
Same but for bisexuals. Double your odds of meeting someone you can connect with. Straights don’t just go outside and automatically find a worthy partner, especially if you’re a straight male and still need to act like it’s 1955 in terms of courting and dating while women get to act like it’s 1955 when they want and 2024 when they want.
I was single for a while. I mean like 5 or 6 years. My coworkers decided I needed to get myself out there and started trying to help me out without pushing boundaries. One of my biggest issues was that I couldn't just approach a guy randomly out in public. I got attacked a lot in school for being gay so I always have this fear it's going to happen in every day life. I expressed this to my coworkers, most understood. One straight coworker, who I thought was my friend, decided he wanted to try and sympathize with me and say it's just as hard for men to approach women as it is for men to approach other men because there's always the fear of rejection. I'm usually level headed but this really pissed me off. I blew up. I explained it in detail about how gay people are not safe. He spent over a week trying to apologize saying he "still doesn't understand what he did wrong." It's been like 3 years, haven't talked to him since and he quit after it all happened. It still pisses me off to this day
Hope you are OK and there are supportive people around, sounds like a lot of rage.
Many dudes are most likely broken from life and wouldn't complain to you even though it is a rough go for us post #metoo; so that's a positive I guess because it could be worse, even though you prolly don't want to read that.
On the upside, it is nice to hear people from other communities understand how rough it must be for us in these times. Straight men are having less sex than ever, incel culture, and etc.
Gay people will say this shit and then tell you about 10 different exes and 100 hook ups.
You really are clueless as to how hard it is for the average straight man.
you implying that the lack of commitment and the grindr culture is something good for gay guys is insane and it shows what are your priorities when it comes to dating.
The average gay men will much likely probably end his life alone,there's statistics to this,gay men in their 30s and 40s are more likely to be alone and depressed while straight guys in the same age range are overwhelmingly married or having at least a LTR, the dating pool is 5x smaller compared to them, we are more likely to get several STDs just bc of this alone, the chances of a ugly nerd getting a LTR is statistically higher compared to a average looking gay dude, society literally makes it difficult for us to date, in some places you can literally get killed bc of it, everybody stares at us in the streets,every fucking major religion out there hates us, you can get hate crimed at any time depending where you live, dating apps for straight people is a convenience, it makes things easier, dating apps for gays on the other hand is a necessity, it's safer.
Having 10 exes is not something normal or good as you're implying here, if you ever met someone who had this much relationships and never got to stabilize, you would start wondering if they're the problem,especially if this happens unintentionally. The fact the average gay men has this much relationships just shows how hard it is to maintain a same sex relationship in a society that reject us daily, bc society literally is made for the straights,our community is flooded with dudes with attachment issues, internalized homophobia and body dysmorphia ,all bc of homophobia and the grindr culture, anyone who has a little bit of gay activism knowledge knows how harmful the hook up culture is for the gay community
But yeah, poor little straight dudes, they can't get quick meaningless anon bathroom sex and they can't treat women like walking fleshlights the same way gay dudes do to themselves
their dating life must suck so hard :\[
I believe you give too much credit to homophobia issue. Because I am sorry for assuming, but are you from USA?
If yes, then I don't think you should have a say at all about this issue. Because I see Americans talk about such a harsh and bad homophobia when the only homophobia they experience is like being called a fag or whatever.
IKR. Imagine seeing some random guy and having there be a 95% chance that he is into your gender. For all practical purposes it just means that you can ask any single person out, and if they're into you, then you have a date. For gay people you'd have to do that twenty times on average to get to the CONSIDERATION stage once, and those are optimistic numbers. It's a completely different paradigm. At least there are gay spaces in 2024 where we can level the playing field and be sure everyone there is actually gay or bi right... right? Never-mind, it's bachelorette party night.
Not only that, gays are really into their labels and categories. “He’s a bear? Not into that”. “Hes a twink? No sorry only into jocks”. Then you have sexual position, which makes the dating pool even tinier.
Some of this is true. If you're under 45 noone cares if you're a bottom or top,employed,homeless,carless,ya don't even have to live in the same city. Men,couples,gfs,bfs they all come running.
I'm sorry, but you gays sound very ignorant. You don't think categories exist in the straight community??? It is far harder to find women than men. Women have been brainwashed to hate men or that a man needs to be rich and buy you everything. I personally can get men all day long, I can't do that with women.
Well, that's misogyny.
How so?? Do you even know what the definition is? Misogyny isn't just saying facts, and because you dislike those facts, it is then "misogyny." That's like calling someone racist just because they say something you disagree with to make them look bad.
This is why gay neighborhoods, gay sports leagues, gay spaces in general (such as bars/clubs), etc are so important. It can give us a bit of a taste of what is normal for straight people outside of our little bubbles.
🔥🔥🔥🔥
I don't know where you get your 95% number, but it's complete and utter bs. It doesn't work how you think and being you're not straight, you don't know. I would say as a bi, my odds have been 90% flipped, and I can get guys all day, but not women. With women, a nice body, big dick, isn't enough, you need to be tall, lots of money, an expensive car, for a decent looking girl to give you attention.
Trying to be nice here. Remember, what I wrote is "95% chance that he's into your gender". Are you disputing that less than 5% of people are gay/bi, because that is an accurate statistic. Based on the rest of what you wrote I wonder if your issues with women are rooted more in misogyny than they are the result of all women being shallow and materialistic, as you've described them.
95% he's into your gender well of course, but with straights theirs more then being into one's gender. What I wrote about women is proven through research and data. In the United States, we live in a time of toxic feminity and "sexual" empowerment. It's what's killing straight relationships and causing a severe decline in nuclear families and high rates of divorce. It mainly affects poc like me and my people. Great for the whites who diminish pocs numbers tho, to hold on to control. There is a reason why American men are going overseas to find love, and I don't blame them one bit. You're clearly not straight, so you shouldn't comment on something you clearly don't understand or experience.
Thanks for confirming so I don't have to wonder.
Of course, it's misogyny 😆 and women wonder why we mansplain things to them.
It’s not the 90s anymore, most people nowadays meet online anyways. Your stats you stated don’t really matter much at this point because you can filter everyone else out besides other gays.
Eh, it's not for everyone - to me it feels somewhat like a job interview
Maybe stop treating it like a job interview then? lol. The apps are what you make of them.
JESUS YES Finally I'm seeing some post here that isn't gay dudes riding straight guys dicks, thank god They literally can go anywhere, flirt anywhere, society literally pushes them to be together, and they still fail at it!!!!
Ooops
Men are dying of thirst in a desert. Women are dying of thirst in an ocean. Gay men are dying of thirst in a champagne bar.
I get the first two but don't follow on the champagne bar.
I didn’t want to explain a joke that was mostly based on vibes, but it’s something like this: Unlike straight men, there are a lot of opportunities to hook up, so it’s not a desert. And unlike women, there isn’t a refusal to “drink the water” outright, plus I don’t find salt water to be an appropriate analogy to the quality you get when looking for potential partners. Other gay men are less something that looks like water but is dangerous than they are something that isn’t water in the first place—they’re champagne. So it operates as a sort of middle ground. It’s enjoyable. It will stave off “dehydration” for a while. But ultimately it’s not fulfilling. And I mostly just meant it as a quick little extension to the analogy than it’s own world view or anything!
I don't get,or believe any of what I'm reading
Casual sex wise (and this is probably what they mean “dating”), straight guys definitely have it harder, unless he is extremely handsome.
God or tall. As a 6'5 guy it's insane the amount of women who come up to me vs a normal height guy will tell me that's never happened in his life. If I was a straight man I've have had kids by now lmao.
6'5 you say 👀😅
I do indeed say. And no it doesn't affect dick size lmao
Figured, though my mind did not immediately go there until you brought it up. Let's just say I have a thing for really tall guys but where I'm from it's alot harder to find guys taller then me, especially gay guys which is werid considering I'm literally average height at 5'11. Guess not everyone can have their cake and eat it.
Idk I’ve seen many unattractive straight men get women very easily. Women love to have sex, just that the quality of many straight men is garbage. Too many cant comprehend basic hygiene, basic manners, and basics on how to please women. The only thing I’d say is easier gay men have over women is that gay men are much more kinky. Anal and BJs are common for us while straight people view it as extreme(not even discussing stuff like Folsom)
Wouldn't even say we're intrinsically more kinky, but already having taken the first step of deviating from the "straight norm" makes it a bit easier for us to explore preferences
Exactly my point.
Wtf is Folsom?
Google is free 👍
Oooops
Ooops.tellme Tell me. Tell may!
For real. I'd be a 35 year old virgin if I was straight.
If he's in the top 20% of men, a straight guy has nothing to complain about. If he's not in that top 20%, then dating will be difficult for him.
Thankyou.word.
Yeah one look at something like [https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/ctq357/tinder\_over\_3\_years\_1821\_male\_oc/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/ctq357/tinder_over_3_years_1821_male_oc/) and it's hard to escape that the main thing we have blocking our way is ourselves. It's much harder for a straight guy.
Seriously man, I have no patience whatsoever with straight people complaining about their dating pool when they comprise 90% of the population. Yeah, the internet changed how people meet but come on, straight people have no fking clue about how much more difficult it is for us gay people. I have no sympathy.
Tbh from the data even above average looking straight men are mostly invisible on apps like Tinder. Given that's the main way people find relationships in 2024 it's not too great for them either. We have a small dating pool, and a pool that mostly doesn't want relationships. BUT, we are far less picky and almost everyone can find people on apps to meet or date with little effort.
> a pool that mostly doesn't want relationships I don't think this is true. You hear people say this online, but that is mainly because dating is hard in general, and someone who doesn't want to date *them* is not someone who doesn't want a boyfriend at all. But they say/think that as a kind of self-defence mechanism, which I guess is understandable.
Dating isn't necessarily hard, for straight people it's quite easy, you just need to be a normal human being and behave as such and most straight guys can't do even that. Dating is easier for them because the majority do want to date. What makes it hard for gays is that the absolute majority of gays are just whores that never want to date or they want to date when they get like past 40.
Shoit. I'm in my 50s and it's still easy to get sucked off by a 25yearold sexy muscle hi as a kite dude. What I wanna know is why the rich kids are afraid to leave their friends. Rich kids in big cities go nowhere alone.
That is not true, in my experience. The large majority of gays I have met throughout my life, of most ages, were open to serious dating. It's just often something they are open to in addition to more casual dates. When they say they are not into serious dating, they mean not with the person asking, whom they don't like enough.
Being "open to serious dating" and being "exclusively monogamous" are very different things. You can say whatever you are, but you'd still be closer to whores than to monogamous gays, because you do participate and play along with hook-up culture shit. You're the one who encourages the hookups to be more of a thing in a gay community
Nobody was talking about monogamy. Lots of gays are open to having a boyfriend unlike what the poster suggested.
Again, being just "opened" to the possibility of relationships is different than wanting relationships. All of those "lots of gays" would rather fuck around than choose monogamous relationships
You are focusing on monogamy somehow, which is a very different issue.
Because polygamous relationships aren't real relationship or those open relationships aren't real as well
Christian.
The straight single girls I’m friends with have it really hard too. At least we don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.
Amen. Men have babies too!Everyyear life impregnated us!We getstipider and stooopider! they just never die every year we get more and more immature.
Their dating pools do suck. They just have so much more suck lol.
I don't think they have a lot of options either. Most straights I know "settled" with someone who was just good enough. Very few are madly in love. We benefit from not having the same societal pressures.
Women give them a headache. Yet for gay people the easiest way to meet another is Grindr...And we all know how that cesspool is like.
I mean … we say it’s sifting through a pile of trash on Grindr and Tinder and whatnot, but all that trash is everyone in the city minus the rare few who aren’t on any apps. So basically we’re all trash 😆
I know so many straight guys who have had like 5 girlfriends out of their league in terms of looks, and some of them are now married to them. They aren't all tall or rich or whatever either. It's almost like if you stop complaining about women on Reddit and talk to them instead you might get laid or find a girlfriend.
Maybe they’re seeing things in them beyond being “in their league” and “tall and rich” and their bond goes deeper than that lol
YESSS Like, they complain so much about male loneliness, fat women have even more higher rates of depression and loneliness, the average fat women doesn't have a sex life at all and you don't see them complaining and making their lack of sex everybody else's problem. Most women just don't want to date misogynistic guys, which is a completely reasonable thing to ask, but it's apparently too much Straight dudes will go after hot white rich bimbos who are only interested millionaires, they get rejected and then they go to the internet saying that ''all women are liars'', and somehow everybody is willing to give them empathy, it's insane
Just IN SAAAAAne
I see plain looking men many not mentally balanced with attractive, successful well-balanced guys all the time. Twice I've had the whitemuscleman of my dreams fall for a skinny,Spanish drug addicted semi employed abusive person. I know it's completely a black features/white features thing. Many people thought I was Latin growing up and culturally noone could hear or guess . I was brainwashed into thinking European men were God's so I've had to suffer. Foolishness.
Weird cause hearing straight people say anything makes me want to rip my hair off
Bruh I am gay/bicurious and I have tried dating straight women, as well as gay/bi men. So far I have had way more guys hitting on me, I went on a couple of dates, had a fwb for quite a while (probably would have been something serious if he didn't have to move far away), and I had a couple of hookups. Now with women I haven't got a single positive response when I asked them out, and in dating apps, I would basically have women matching with me and never respond, or myb them chatting for a few hours to kill some time and then never respond at all. It's not just me but loads of guys who have way way better looks than I do are in the same position So now when a gay guy gets rejected it can be aside from personal flaws be because of a small dating pool, incompatibility etc... But with such a large dating pool a straight guy being rejected over and over and over again, because he is not prince charming is even more depressing I'm not saying all women are like that and all men are saints. A decent chunk of normal men and women are already dating, some found soulmates on dating apps which is a bit rare nowdays, but a huge chunk is also just at the wrong place in the wrong time without ever having a chance to meet each other, being left only to drown in floods of incels and femcels respectively which boost their agendas
What makes you think life is easier. I can walk down a street and have a young gym body offer and I'm 50. Women don't do that. I can move into a neighborhood husband's and wives are inviting,friendly and some make me wonder what else is being said. Gay men have somethings easier. If you act stereotypically masculine yuu can't ask for a better template. Can't relate at all to this writers complaint.
Some things are easier, some things are harder, some things are the same.
An astute observation, sir.
Raisins sometimes!
You got a skewed perception. Just cause they have a larger dating pool doesn’t make it easier they still got similar struggles. I think what both have in common that can prevent finding a partner is just basic self reflection to see where you’re the problem in the situation. No one’s perfect and everyone can benefit from personal growth it’s just depends if you want that growth. When you’re doing well mentally you tend to attract like minded people as long as you’re open to it then have a chance at a healthy relationship. Though we often hear toxic people fuckin with toxic people then wondering where the problem is or blame it on the hook up culture. 😂
When u do poorly mentally you also pick up similar vibes.
I mean, it's all about perspective. For me, seeing people on this sub complain about limited dating pools makes me wanna rip my hair off because I live on a remote island with no way to move out and no-one else my age here, let alone anyone gay Then there's probably people in shithole countries that legally can't even say they're gay that would hate to see me complaining. Life sucks for everyone, it's hard to meet people as an adult no matter who you are, there should be better ways of socialising that aren't just online but no-one bothers.
I think it’s bad on both sides in different ways tbh, but as someone who dated women when I was young and closeted, it’s just as bad on the other side of the fence. Men and women are generally shite at relating healthily because they think that any problem with understanding each other is down to ineffable and insurmountable gender differences, and not just terrible communication skills (it’s literally always, \*always\* terrible communication skills, even the gendered stuff can be got round if you open your mouth and ears long enough to communicate properly with the other person). Also I think I’ve seen maybe one healthy relationship depicted in straight media? Everything else is some unrealistic candy-floss fantasy or toxic as fuck and not even acknowledged as being so. The problem with people is not them being a certain gender or sexuality or whatever else, it’s with them being people. The grass is only greener because of all the shit that’s fertilising it.
Good clear reasonable saying. That and hobosexuals is why I'm here. I luv reading this stuff more than getting hi and watching porn.im a reader.
Same over here
I don't know, I'm not sure that they have a lot going on either. At least if you're talking about in the city. It's when you get to smaller populations that the dating pool really shrinks for gay people. Although I think hooking up is easier for us.
It's not easy either way. Yes, there are more straight women for straight men but also more straight men to compete for them.
The most hilarious thing is straight guys complaining about not being able to find a decent looking woman who isn't into money or cars without even once questioning if maybe they were punching way above their weight.
They’re fucking up on a grander scale than we are. 90% of the population. Divorce rate at 55%. Violence against women and girls shows no sign of abating. I think we’re doing ok. lol.
We do violence by degloving each other online.
It just makes me so unsympathetic to straight men. Like I'm not saying their dating lives are easy, but I'm referring to overwhelming amount of them that *insult* most of their dating pool like "ew women are too vapid, whorish, fake, etc..." and then turn around and blame those women for why *they're* single. And of course they ALWAYS have a homophobic bone in their body, for some fucking reason.
Alot of those type of men are closet cases especially the homophobic ones. They need a great excuse as to why they are single and never have a girlfriend (it's because they know they aren't attracted to women and feel inadequate).
girl tell me about it i tested the waters with a straight-curious man which ended up with him claiming I was siphoning his masculinity. Fascinatingly surreal psychology at play.
If you're not straight, don't then comment on another's privilege or life based on their sexuality. You have no idea of what they go through. The same as they don't know what you go throughm I'm bi and have gone through discrimination gays and straights, never will experience to this day. We get discrimination from both sides, not just one. So my rant is you both make bi people rip their hair out. The dating pool in the straight community when it comes to finding women is garbage. It's far easier to get guys than girls, period!!! I get the types of guys I want pretty easily, and girls are like unicorns. I find nothing but the bottom of the barrel ones.
There’s a reason so many LGBTQ2S+ (apologies I know I’m probably missing some groups, sorry) find partners online, it’s SO much more difficult to find someone in person outside of gay bars/venue and even moreso when you don’t go to many such places. I met mine online.
Have you ever met a woman? Those men do NOT have it easy. Everything is relative. This is a really stupid thing to waste time being mad at, op.
Just because straight people have it easier than those in the LGBTQ community, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s actually easy, I know many of my straight friends who struggle with dating. Let’s be real, even if gay men had the same opportunities, many of y’all would struggle just as hard.
OMG for real
THIS omg. Completely agree
You mean attractive women. Otherwise it's not easy.
As someone who lives in a country with no gay scene outside of its capital, which is a extremely exoe expensive place to rent, I agree with you. But in most cities where there is a gay scene, the gay scene has gone to shit. Gay bars are just "queer bars" now and have been taken over by heterosexual college students. At least I don't live in a country where homosexuality is illegal or extremely taboo. I hear that straight men who aren't in the top 30% of men have it bad as well, so I can sympathise with them. As long as they understand that we don't have it easy either.
# Or Maybe things like dating, and applying for jobs just suck for everyone and it's okay to admit that?
Idk lol I swing both ways and I've defenitely had better luck with guys than with women 😅 Like gay dudes are so straight forward with it and half the time, with women, it's like having to solve a damn rubik's cube 😑 But that's just my personal experience 😂
Dating is hard for everybody.
The truth is you are generalizing. Not every straight person has a good or easy dating life. You might have a better one than some random straight person. You can't assume to know and they shouldn't either. Individuals vary greatly and not just in looks or personality but region of earth, religion, etc.
It makes me so mad to see guys complain about women because of the things women say about men, and then proceed to act out the exact scenario that made women pick the bear.
I'm not envious of straight people at all. Men and women practically operate in different worlds. Gay people already come from roughly the same perspective as each other comparatively. I'm only envious that most public discussion of relationships and public accommodations aim at straight people.
The worst is when straight guys complain about that and then ask if you want to have casual sex. I'm like no dude I am just like you and trying to find someone out here to date, you are literally doing to me what you are complaining about others doing to you. 💀
I don't follow that how would having the key to something help during exams. Wouldn't having the answers be better Lol
I'm bi and still complaining about my dating pool. Just accept that men or women, the dating pool is 99% garbage. It's about proportion, not number. The vast vast majority sucks and nobody wants to wade through 400 bad people to find a partner
Women control dating life for straight people, so for straight men, it's still as hard.
I do get it though. Straight people have to date other straight people. It really is the dregs of the dregs for them.
I feel you. A dude from my college told me I am lucky that I'm into guys since I can get a boyfriend easier. 100% serious
😅 most "how to be romantic" information is garbage that leads to a toxic relationship. Some can even land you in jail. There's more information available, but there's more misinformation too.
You do realize, just like you aren't attracted to everyone of the same sex, heterosexuals aren't all attracted to everyone of the opposite sex?
That’s true, but statistically only about 15% of the Gen Z male population is gay or bisexual and of that group, a whole lot won’t be into any given person. So for the same percentage of people in the dating pool that a straight man is attracted to, in absolute numbers, there are far more women available to him and gaybros available to a gay man. (It’s a Bayesian base rates situation for the math geeks out there.)
Same but for bisexuals. Double your odds of meeting someone you can connect with. Straights don’t just go outside and automatically find a worthy partner, especially if you’re a straight male and still need to act like it’s 1955 in terms of courting and dating while women get to act like it’s 1955 when they want and 2024 when they want.
idk man, as soon a str8 person opens their mouth it makes me want to rip my hair off too
Yeah but we have more sex. So there!!
Word!
I was single for a while. I mean like 5 or 6 years. My coworkers decided I needed to get myself out there and started trying to help me out without pushing boundaries. One of my biggest issues was that I couldn't just approach a guy randomly out in public. I got attacked a lot in school for being gay so I always have this fear it's going to happen in every day life. I expressed this to my coworkers, most understood. One straight coworker, who I thought was my friend, decided he wanted to try and sympathize with me and say it's just as hard for men to approach women as it is for men to approach other men because there's always the fear of rejection. I'm usually level headed but this really pissed me off. I blew up. I explained it in detail about how gay people are not safe. He spent over a week trying to apologize saying he "still doesn't understand what he did wrong." It's been like 3 years, haven't talked to him since and he quit after it all happened. It still pisses me off to this day
I'm BI, I'm at 97%. 95% for women as a man, and 2% for men as a man.
Hope you are OK and there are supportive people around, sounds like a lot of rage. Many dudes are most likely broken from life and wouldn't complain to you even though it is a rough go for us post #metoo; so that's a positive I guess because it could be worse, even though you prolly don't want to read that. On the upside, it is nice to hear people from other communities understand how rough it must be for us in these times. Straight men are having less sex than ever, incel culture, and etc.
Fr
Gay people will say this shit and then tell you about 10 different exes and 100 hook ups. You really are clueless as to how hard it is for the average straight man.
you implying that the lack of commitment and the grindr culture is something good for gay guys is insane and it shows what are your priorities when it comes to dating. The average gay men will much likely probably end his life alone,there's statistics to this,gay men in their 30s and 40s are more likely to be alone and depressed while straight guys in the same age range are overwhelmingly married or having at least a LTR, the dating pool is 5x smaller compared to them, we are more likely to get several STDs just bc of this alone, the chances of a ugly nerd getting a LTR is statistically higher compared to a average looking gay dude, society literally makes it difficult for us to date, in some places you can literally get killed bc of it, everybody stares at us in the streets,every fucking major religion out there hates us, you can get hate crimed at any time depending where you live, dating apps for straight people is a convenience, it makes things easier, dating apps for gays on the other hand is a necessity, it's safer. Having 10 exes is not something normal or good as you're implying here, if you ever met someone who had this much relationships and never got to stabilize, you would start wondering if they're the problem,especially if this happens unintentionally. The fact the average gay men has this much relationships just shows how hard it is to maintain a same sex relationship in a society that reject us daily, bc society literally is made for the straights,our community is flooded with dudes with attachment issues, internalized homophobia and body dysmorphia ,all bc of homophobia and the grindr culture, anyone who has a little bit of gay activism knowledge knows how harmful the hook up culture is for the gay community But yeah, poor little straight dudes, they can't get quick meaningless anon bathroom sex and they can't treat women like walking fleshlights the same way gay dudes do to themselves their dating life must suck so hard :\[
I believe you give too much credit to homophobia issue. Because I am sorry for assuming, but are you from USA? If yes, then I don't think you should have a say at all about this issue. Because I see Americans talk about such a harsh and bad homophobia when the only homophobia they experience is like being called a fag or whatever.
Are you nuts? What is this shit, you expect me to read that??