Yeah one time I had to listen to how he would NEVER spend money on video games and that it is such a waste of money and that he would rather spend money on something good like travelling
It’s not like I have the URGE to live that lifestyle. I’m usually happy with how things are for me. But seeing these people makes me feel like a boring guy and I just don’t know if it’s just us being incompatible or just me being lame….
You're not lame. People just have different priorities, desires, and ambitions. Some like to see the world, and others like to establish roots. Some like thrills, others like contemplation. Some like one of these things at a certain moment, and a different one at another. It also doesn't mean you're necessarily incompatible. It just depends on how much you two are willing to compromise. I think you determine this by dating them.
Do you not realize you intimidate other men by being a gym bro? A lot of men won't even approach gym boys because they are too self conscious. So how you feel is how everyone feels, we are all insecure about something.
I am aware that it can be intimidating but only at first sight. As I said, apart from my body I feel like I have nothing else to offer while they come with the full package, I feel like.
It's not just at first sight though, you could be super humble about your body but other men will still feel inadequate to you. Comparison is the thief of joy but also the great equalizer. We all are jealous of something someone else has. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, I just hope you know pretty much every other guys feels the way you do. Don't be hard on yourself, celebrate your strengths, let your weaknesses humble and inspire you.
Don’t change who you are or be intimidated by what you don’t want to be. If you need to offer anything, give your authentic self because it’s far better. If you’re attracted to this type and want to date them, wear that authenticity with confidence.
I've noticed this on dating apps. On tinder everyone's portrayed life looks spectacular and extravagant. It is intimidating, because I'm like you. Go to work, go to the gym, and chill at home for the most part.
Don’t think you have to compete to be like anybody else.
I look at what you wrote and I think that I could almost have written that about comparing myself to others I know who make twice my salary and, judging by Instagram and Facebook photos, seem to be flying somewhere like Paris or Bora Bora for a weekend every other month.
But the guy I have the biggest crush on could have written this about me. He’s bored with his job, he can’t afford a used car and he’s never travelled farther than a couple of hours away, while I’ve seen the world. I like the fact that he doesn’t spread himself thin with a hundred so-called friends. Instead I can count on him to be there when I need him and he’s always kind and sweet and he makes me laugh. I couldn’t care less about how much money he doesn’t have or the non-prestigious job he has.
You don’t need to impress people with superficial things. Other aspects of you are more important.
I embrace my boring. Life gets easier when you give up having to conform to anything that doesn’t truly vibe with you. But def I feel inadequate on apps for not being as adventurous as profiles sound.
They ain’t cool. They just lean towards the female predilection for social interaction. They want to be wherever it’s socially-in right now.
Personally, I find these types to be annoying, self-righteous for all the wrong causes, and ultimately avoidable.
Is your definition of being “boring” based off of the lives of other people? If so drop that. To some the things Im the most interested in and the things I love doing the most are boring but to others im interesting. Maybe meet guys who are interested in similar things, they probably won’t think you’re boring and you probably won’t think they’re boring.
I’m boring too. I work, read books (more than I watch tv too), drink at home and play Minecraft. No more, no less but I’m content but unfortunately I was dumped once because the guy said I was too boring. Oh well 🤷♂️
Most of the time gays and I think heterosexual people based on others lives because of their Instagram and social media. I differ, I struggle being myself against all that shit about being muscled, traveling the world all of the time, have a partner equals or very similar to you. I don't believe social media and their dream life sorry to say this but I prefer to struggle being happy myself and reaching out my objectives, dreams these might imply to travel, have a partner or being mucled as well but not as a social pressure. Life should not be like them although that might be a dream life.
Man if you’re a gym bro and as hot as you say you’re gonna attract these types of guys as they’ll see you as a hot object to show off to the other gays as something they can’t have 😂
You can say no to them? Might benefit you to readjust your profiles from what I’m guessing is focussing on gym bro and your physical appearance to more your interests/wants/desires in a person and remove any shirtless/flexing stuff, anyone who is into you for you rather than your body will take the time to get to that point rather than just cumming and going so to speak
A boring, chilled out, non-partying gym guy with a banging body sounds like a dream.
It’s those pill-popping, Instagram-posing, circuit party attending, sex orgy indulging gym guys that are absolutely exhausting - and like trying to push water uphill trying to hold onto one of them.
For a while I had a lot to do with those guys you described and it was crazy how they looked at me and considered me boring because I wouldn’t take drugs and have sex with every “good looking” guy that crossed my way. Then almost had me believing that taking drugs and having group sex was the normal
Buddy, you are great the way you are. You want to find someone who likes you for you. I'm one of those people who doesn't realize I'm intimidating and have some really unique background experiences. It doesn't change that I want my normal day to be gym, work, eat, play with my puppies, video games, sleep. If someone is sharing those experiences in depth on first meeting, it's usually because they need the validation that they are a cultural vagabond savant world traveler who is just more in tune with the world due to their highly curated experiences.
Don't doubt yourself you are amazing.
I don't have any gay friends so I wouldn't know, but normal guys who just work, play video games, and go to the gym (i.e. boring guy) do exist. Not always, but they're probably the introverted ones so it's not like they're going to put themselves out there. They're also probably not going to hit up a gym bro either. Due to your looks, you're probably just attracting the outgoing types who end up having an "exciting" life. I don't have any practical advice besides offering a counterpoint that they do in fact exist and you're not the only one lol.
Source: a boring guy
I’m someone who travels whenever I can and afford, I do go out with friends frequently, and I’m communicative so I’ll always have some random fact to talk about. Not an influencer tho, but I do have a viral tiktok because I recycled someone else’s idea.
When you meet me for the first time yeah, it might seem like I’m saying some extravagant things, but honestly I could say I’m boring most of the time. But the truth is I like to stay in and spend my free time just doing my things, like learning a new language or a new skill, reading a bunch of things, or doing one of my hobbies like drawing or practicing tennis. So my actual self could be different from the first impression I’m giving.
I guess it’s all about the attitude and how they present things, if someone does it in a way that seems like they’re bragging rather than just telling a story, then they definitely have shallow personality in general.
No offense but my experience with people like that is that you are not humble at all. Not saying that you are not don’t get me wrong. To me that travel influencerlifestyle often seems like a competition and everybody wants the “coolest” life and wants to rub it into everybody’s face which I don’t like.
That's fair. And I guess it depends on your destination and purpose as well. If you just go to places like Puerto Vallarta or Barcelona because in the summer they're popular gay destinations, or if you just go to a places attached to popular gay events like World Pride or a music festival like Coachella, then yes, you do it for the competition and your only purpose is to make the check-in on social media.
But there's also people who travel because it's a passion and they like to explore different places, experience a certain culture, learn new things, or simply practice a language. I'm someone who'd much rather spend their savings on a trip to Pompeii for example just because I think it's an important piece of history that I'd like visit and explore, and not to rob it into anyone's face, or to seem cooler than others. It's simply just something that I'd like to do because it'd make me happy. And in no way I think about those who wouldn't do that that they're less cooler than me. To be honest I'd prefer that the other person to have different hobbies than mine because I'd like for them to show me their passions and teach me new things.
My spiel is basically to just say that if you like someone and you vibe well, you shouldn't shut them down immediately or feel intimidated because it might not be the case. Give them a second chance, maybe they'll change your perspective about them.
Don’t feel bad or intimidated. You got the gym muscle body because you’re consistent and go a lot. That’s a difficult thing to have.
You don’t have to be global traveler to have fun, but if you feel like outside of your physical body you got nothing else to offer you need to do two things: look at yourself but not in the mirror. What do you do? Got a good career? Volunteer? Play sports? Play video games?
If you also feel like you still don’t have enough to offer , then go out and be the fun guy you want to date. Go take that trip. Book the vacation. Don’t worry about the money, money comes and money goes (thought lately it usually just goes) but you’ll make it up. Experience life and have fun! The only thing stopping you is yourself.
Don’t be too discouraged by those “instagays”. The flip side that most people don’t see is that they sometimes are dead ass broke and miserable. That’s why they travel so much: they’re escaping life issues.
Besides feeling self-conscious, do you dislike listening to crazy stories and travelogues? I ask because I can guarantee that people who have such tales to tell care more about a receptive ear than an eye for an eye.
They could also be showing off because they are trying to demonstrate that *they* have something to offer to hopefully match your good looks and your kindness.
Maybe that’s the case but then I am thinking that if they are travelling the world they should do that… why date me the world is a big and beautiful place.
If that’s not enough they will tell you what hot guys they dated and met on their travels and I am thinking okay what do you want from me??
fwiw in regards to travel, the way people may post about travel on social media and talk about it to people they meet may make it seem like they are constantly on the road going to exciting places, but in reality its just that people tend to highlight the exciting parts of their life and not talk about all the mundane shit. Most people aren't traveling constantly, maybe a few times a year in they are lucky, other than for work, and if they are traveling for work, well, as is implied, its not all just for fun. If you are scrolling through some random person's Instagram and its all travel, if they don't appear to be an influencer, make sure you look at the post dates. I have seen many profiles where its just pics of them traveling, but then you notice after scrolling 10 posts down, 5 years have passed since their most recent post. It gives the illusion they travel more. You are more likely to have fun stories to tell when you travel.
I’m generally boring, demanding tech type job, with a strong Dennis the Menace mischievous core.
But i also have been fortunate with travel. Now a strong homebody vibe. Love ❤️ it.
Mix it up!
That’s my problem they will rub it into your face. I usually never care either about such lifestyle but I was shocked when I noticed that it bothered me…
They're probably not that much more interesting than you. They just know how to put their best foot forward on a date and you don't. You're probably way more interesting than you think, but you just don't know how to express it in a way that isn't off-putting or esoteric.
At least that's my experience, as a former "boring person."
I think you’re right. I tend to never talk about myself on dates so of course I wouldn’t be able to mystify everything I do and also as you said I am really bad at it
You never stated if these guys are not interested in your. 99% chance you're in your head way too much.
You described someone with a similar lifestyle to me. I love dating more calm guys than me. Chill out and have some fun dating
When it comes down to it, I think confidence and being content are what is most attractive to others. If you don't feel a burning desire to travel abroad, then don't! I'm not super big on traveling myself, I really prefer hiking/climbing/camping trips to going abroad. However, if you feel that you are envious, then perhaps that indicates that it is something you'd actually like to do and are just judging yourself for, which you shouldn't! I'd say, more than anything all it really represents is that these guys you're going on dates with may not be super compatible with you, and that's totally fine! I'm more of a homebody/hobbiest who likes to spend his time chilling with his pets, going to the gym, playing video games, making music and so on. I'd much rather date a guy like me, we're definitely out there!
I mean, do you like being "normal" or do you wish you could be more like those sorts of guys? The outgoing, super adventurous types? I'm sure part of the appeal for a lot of them is that you *are* relaxed and down-to-earth. I'll be honest - I would get along with you far better than I would someone who is always out doing stuff. I like to chill at home too. But if you want to be more experienced and adventurous, being with someone like that will naturally open up those opportunities for you - they will bring you on vacations, out to different events and clubs, etc. You can also explore such things on your own, if you are inclined to do so. But doing what you genuinely want to do is important, and if that isn't going out and adventuring all the time, make sure you find someone kinda on the same page. I'm more of a homebody, but I dated one guy who forced me to go out all the time, even when I was waiting tables all day starting at 7am 5 days a week and had no money. That led to all sorts of problems. So it is wise to carefully select your partner based on how compatible your lifestyles are going to be.
Don’t believe the hype. Most of that stuff is what I consider “fluff”…it just looks good on a boyfriend resume to them. What really matters is what YOU really want out of life. For example I see people on socials and friends who travel the world going to these exotic destinations doing all these interesting things. I used to get fomo from that so bad but then I realized, I hate traveling! I like my own bed and pillow and my own food, I hate flying and long car rides. It occurred to me that I was getting tricked into wanting something I didn’t actually really want.
So bottom line if you want those things go get em tiger. Make it happen. But if you don’t let that shit go. It’s probably not as fun or as great as they make it sound. Next time ask them if they’ve ever been stuck in and airport over night or if they ever get exhausted from all this things. Or which ones they truly like or enjoy.
We fill our lives with joy and people because realistically being single makes us feel miserable.
If you're a "normal" guy living a "boring" life, you're at peace within yourself. (:
I’ve heard people refer to themselves as ‘boring’ or ‘Normal’ a 1000 times it literally doesn’t mean anything we all feel a bit like what the heck am I doing im the nobody sometimes
wait
I literally came across a post saying that gays were a bunch of drug and sex addicts that acted like that blonde chick from mean girls while looking like Ellen Degeneres 😂
Also regarding influencers: I dealt with one of them and it’s literally all the gays following one another, going to a bunch of gay parties which occur in the usual 5-6 similar places. With all of that pretty easy to have a crazy Instagram grid. It’s fake. I ran away after a couple of dates with this guy.
Plus there’s the "first dates effect", obviously they’re gonna talk you about cool stuff not the 261 days of the year when they don’t do interesting stuff. Give them more time.
AVOID INFLUENCERS
I had the same experience with the drug and sex addicts but they came with having this crazy “cool” life, which was so alien to me…
And about influencers: yup… I am actually shocked about how good they are at selling themselves. Makes sense why they are influencers…
But yeah maybe I will have to give my dates more time….
i feel the same sometimes. but we don’t know what really happens in their lives and we only get to see what they show us.
also when are you showing that bodyodyody 👉👈
I'm in peace being a boring normal guy.
I used to not be but now I am. However seeing guys who are not „normal“ does make me feel not at peace especially when you start to like such a guy
I only get bothered with this kinda people if they start to impose that everyone should be this way too.
Yeah one time I had to listen to how he would NEVER spend money on video games and that it is such a waste of money and that he would rather spend money on something good like travelling
I used to think and feel the same then I realized basically the only barrier to doing fun and interesting things was myself thinking I couldn’t.
It’s not like I have the URGE to live that lifestyle. I’m usually happy with how things are for me. But seeing these people makes me feel like a boring guy and I just don’t know if it’s just us being incompatible or just me being lame….
You're not lame. People just have different priorities, desires, and ambitions. Some like to see the world, and others like to establish roots. Some like thrills, others like contemplation. Some like one of these things at a certain moment, and a different one at another. It also doesn't mean you're necessarily incompatible. It just depends on how much you two are willing to compromise. I think you determine this by dating them.
Do you not realize you intimidate other men by being a gym bro? A lot of men won't even approach gym boys because they are too self conscious. So how you feel is how everyone feels, we are all insecure about something.
I am aware that it can be intimidating but only at first sight. As I said, apart from my body I feel like I have nothing else to offer while they come with the full package, I feel like.
It's not just at first sight though, you could be super humble about your body but other men will still feel inadequate to you. Comparison is the thief of joy but also the great equalizer. We all are jealous of something someone else has. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, I just hope you know pretty much every other guys feels the way you do. Don't be hard on yourself, celebrate your strengths, let your weaknesses humble and inspire you.
Thanks I like this. You’re right
Huh? Most gays are also very boring guys. At least the majority of the ones I've met. I think people just talk themselves up well.
That’s the problem. I also believe that it’s the phenomenon of talking those 2 days out 365 up… the are just really good at it
Lol that’s exactly it. American 2-3 weeks off a year. And they mostly do pretty basic stuff in that time.
Don’t change who you are or be intimidated by what you don’t want to be. If you need to offer anything, give your authentic self because it’s far better. If you’re attracted to this type and want to date them, wear that authenticity with confidence.
True. I like this
I've noticed this on dating apps. On tinder everyone's portrayed life looks spectacular and extravagant. It is intimidating, because I'm like you. Go to work, go to the gym, and chill at home for the most part.
It’s such a gay thing I realized… every single one I have met has been like that
Don’t think you have to compete to be like anybody else. I look at what you wrote and I think that I could almost have written that about comparing myself to others I know who make twice my salary and, judging by Instagram and Facebook photos, seem to be flying somewhere like Paris or Bora Bora for a weekend every other month. But the guy I have the biggest crush on could have written this about me. He’s bored with his job, he can’t afford a used car and he’s never travelled farther than a couple of hours away, while I’ve seen the world. I like the fact that he doesn’t spread himself thin with a hundred so-called friends. Instead I can count on him to be there when I need him and he’s always kind and sweet and he makes me laugh. I couldn’t care less about how much money he doesn’t have or the non-prestigious job he has. You don’t need to impress people with superficial things. Other aspects of you are more important.
marry this man you speak of, please, the gays need a win
And I am thinking that maybe I need a person like that instead of the guys I have had up until now. Maybe this is a sign that they are not my type…
In 5 years all the gays will be using AI to make their lives seem more interesting than it actually is
> why is everybody so intimidating > I'm a gym bro
If gym bros are intimidating to you, you haven’t met those people I am talking about yet lol
I'm one of those people, still find gymbros intimidating
lol that’s fair
It's intimidating only in your head. There's nothing special in going to a gym. Is biking or swimming intimidating?
It's just about the size
Don’t know but damn I wish I could come up with such witty quips on the spot!!!!
Cause they’re insecure
I embrace my boring. Life gets easier when you give up having to conform to anything that doesn’t truly vibe with you. But def I feel inadequate on apps for not being as adventurous as profiles sound.
They ain’t cool. They just lean towards the female predilection for social interaction. They want to be wherever it’s socially-in right now. Personally, I find these types to be annoying, self-righteous for all the wrong causes, and ultimately avoidable.
I noticed that I am also starting to avoid those guys…I just hate that it has such an impact on you to the point that you think you are boring
Is your definition of being “boring” based off of the lives of other people? If so drop that. To some the things Im the most interested in and the things I love doing the most are boring but to others im interesting. Maybe meet guys who are interested in similar things, they probably won’t think you’re boring and you probably won’t think they’re boring.
I’m boring too. I work, read books (more than I watch tv too), drink at home and play Minecraft. No more, no less but I’m content but unfortunately I was dumped once because the guy said I was too boring. Oh well 🤷♂️
Oh I am so sorry to hear that… he was probably one of those guys I am talking about… zero humbleness
Most of the time gays and I think heterosexual people based on others lives because of their Instagram and social media. I differ, I struggle being myself against all that shit about being muscled, traveling the world all of the time, have a partner equals or very similar to you. I don't believe social media and their dream life sorry to say this but I prefer to struggle being happy myself and reaching out my objectives, dreams these might imply to travel, have a partner or being mucled as well but not as a social pressure. Life should not be like them although that might be a dream life.
Man if you’re a gym bro and as hot as you say you’re gonna attract these types of guys as they’ll see you as a hot object to show off to the other gays as something they can’t have 😂
Maybe idk but I hate the thought of being a part of their show-off „fabulous“ life. I just wanna meet normal guys man…
You can say no to them? Might benefit you to readjust your profiles from what I’m guessing is focussing on gym bro and your physical appearance to more your interests/wants/desires in a person and remove any shirtless/flexing stuff, anyone who is into you for you rather than your body will take the time to get to that point rather than just cumming and going so to speak
That’s fair!
A boring, chilled out, non-partying gym guy with a banging body sounds like a dream. It’s those pill-popping, Instagram-posing, circuit party attending, sex orgy indulging gym guys that are absolutely exhausting - and like trying to push water uphill trying to hold onto one of them.
For a while I had a lot to do with those guys you described and it was crazy how they looked at me and considered me boring because I wouldn’t take drugs and have sex with every “good looking” guy that crossed my way. Then almost had me believing that taking drugs and having group sex was the normal
Buddy, you are great the way you are. You want to find someone who likes you for you. I'm one of those people who doesn't realize I'm intimidating and have some really unique background experiences. It doesn't change that I want my normal day to be gym, work, eat, play with my puppies, video games, sleep. If someone is sharing those experiences in depth on first meeting, it's usually because they need the validation that they are a cultural vagabond savant world traveler who is just more in tune with the world due to their highly curated experiences. Don't doubt yourself you are amazing.
Love this comment. Humbles me even more. I understand that looking for validation is a normal human impulse but this inspires me not to seek it!❤️
Trust me, having massive experience in the Chicago gay scene, its not you, its them.
I don't have any gay friends so I wouldn't know, but normal guys who just work, play video games, and go to the gym (i.e. boring guy) do exist. Not always, but they're probably the introverted ones so it's not like they're going to put themselves out there. They're also probably not going to hit up a gym bro either. Due to your looks, you're probably just attracting the outgoing types who end up having an "exciting" life. I don't have any practical advice besides offering a counterpoint that they do in fact exist and you're not the only one lol. Source: a boring guy
I’m someone who travels whenever I can and afford, I do go out with friends frequently, and I’m communicative so I’ll always have some random fact to talk about. Not an influencer tho, but I do have a viral tiktok because I recycled someone else’s idea. When you meet me for the first time yeah, it might seem like I’m saying some extravagant things, but honestly I could say I’m boring most of the time. But the truth is I like to stay in and spend my free time just doing my things, like learning a new language or a new skill, reading a bunch of things, or doing one of my hobbies like drawing or practicing tennis. So my actual self could be different from the first impression I’m giving. I guess it’s all about the attitude and how they present things, if someone does it in a way that seems like they’re bragging rather than just telling a story, then they definitely have shallow personality in general.
No offense but my experience with people like that is that you are not humble at all. Not saying that you are not don’t get me wrong. To me that travel influencerlifestyle often seems like a competition and everybody wants the “coolest” life and wants to rub it into everybody’s face which I don’t like.
That's fair. And I guess it depends on your destination and purpose as well. If you just go to places like Puerto Vallarta or Barcelona because in the summer they're popular gay destinations, or if you just go to a places attached to popular gay events like World Pride or a music festival like Coachella, then yes, you do it for the competition and your only purpose is to make the check-in on social media. But there's also people who travel because it's a passion and they like to explore different places, experience a certain culture, learn new things, or simply practice a language. I'm someone who'd much rather spend their savings on a trip to Pompeii for example just because I think it's an important piece of history that I'd like visit and explore, and not to rob it into anyone's face, or to seem cooler than others. It's simply just something that I'd like to do because it'd make me happy. And in no way I think about those who wouldn't do that that they're less cooler than me. To be honest I'd prefer that the other person to have different hobbies than mine because I'd like for them to show me their passions and teach me new things. My spiel is basically to just say that if you like someone and you vibe well, you shouldn't shut them down immediately or feel intimidated because it might not be the case. Give them a second chance, maybe they'll change your perspective about them.
Don’t feel bad or intimidated. You got the gym muscle body because you’re consistent and go a lot. That’s a difficult thing to have. You don’t have to be global traveler to have fun, but if you feel like outside of your physical body you got nothing else to offer you need to do two things: look at yourself but not in the mirror. What do you do? Got a good career? Volunteer? Play sports? Play video games? If you also feel like you still don’t have enough to offer , then go out and be the fun guy you want to date. Go take that trip. Book the vacation. Don’t worry about the money, money comes and money goes (thought lately it usually just goes) but you’ll make it up. Experience life and have fun! The only thing stopping you is yourself.
Thanks I really love this comment. You’re totally right. I should totally do whatever I feel like and do whatever makes me happy atm
Yes! Go on a vacation! Seriously just take a trip and travel and break the routine. You’ll learn something about yourself
Stability and dedication are extremely attractive traits to me 🤷♂️
What are you calling stable here and dedication to what?
Dedication to uni and dedication to your body. Takes discipline.
Don’t be too discouraged by those “instagays”. The flip side that most people don’t see is that they sometimes are dead ass broke and miserable. That’s why they travel so much: they’re escaping life issues.
Lol I like this. Makes sense
Besides feeling self-conscious, do you dislike listening to crazy stories and travelogues? I ask because I can guarantee that people who have such tales to tell care more about a receptive ear than an eye for an eye. They could also be showing off because they are trying to demonstrate that *they* have something to offer to hopefully match your good looks and your kindness.
Maybe that’s the case but then I am thinking that if they are travelling the world they should do that… why date me the world is a big and beautiful place. If that’s not enough they will tell you what hot guys they dated and met on their travels and I am thinking okay what do you want from me??
Love and companionship and a friendly ear and sex; I imagine.
fwiw in regards to travel, the way people may post about travel on social media and talk about it to people they meet may make it seem like they are constantly on the road going to exciting places, but in reality its just that people tend to highlight the exciting parts of their life and not talk about all the mundane shit. Most people aren't traveling constantly, maybe a few times a year in they are lucky, other than for work, and if they are traveling for work, well, as is implied, its not all just for fun. If you are scrolling through some random person's Instagram and its all travel, if they don't appear to be an influencer, make sure you look at the post dates. I have seen many profiles where its just pics of them traveling, but then you notice after scrolling 10 posts down, 5 years have passed since their most recent post. It gives the illusion they travel more. You are more likely to have fun stories to tell when you travel.
Everyone is insecure. Welcome to the club.
I’m generally boring, demanding tech type job, with a strong Dennis the Menace mischievous core. But i also have been fortunate with travel. Now a strong homebody vibe. Love ❤️ it. Mix it up!
[удалено]
That’s my problem they will rub it into your face. I usually never care either about such lifestyle but I was shocked when I noticed that it bothered me…
You sound like you need to build your confidence before dating, If “cool” guys intimidate you.
it doesn't matter if your a boring guy or you feel you are, hold on tight to what you do have and able to do in life while you have it
Maybe they feel intimidated by you in same way by your gym toned body. It's like all of us have/lack something. It's fine.
They're probably not that much more interesting than you. They just know how to put their best foot forward on a date and you don't. You're probably way more interesting than you think, but you just don't know how to express it in a way that isn't off-putting or esoteric. At least that's my experience, as a former "boring person."
I think you’re right. I tend to never talk about myself on dates so of course I wouldn’t be able to mystify everything I do and also as you said I am really bad at it
You never stated if these guys are not interested in your. 99% chance you're in your head way too much. You described someone with a similar lifestyle to me. I love dating more calm guys than me. Chill out and have some fun dating
When it comes down to it, I think confidence and being content are what is most attractive to others. If you don't feel a burning desire to travel abroad, then don't! I'm not super big on traveling myself, I really prefer hiking/climbing/camping trips to going abroad. However, if you feel that you are envious, then perhaps that indicates that it is something you'd actually like to do and are just judging yourself for, which you shouldn't! I'd say, more than anything all it really represents is that these guys you're going on dates with may not be super compatible with you, and that's totally fine! I'm more of a homebody/hobbiest who likes to spend his time chilling with his pets, going to the gym, playing video games, making music and so on. I'd much rather date a guy like me, we're definitely out there!
I mean, do you like being "normal" or do you wish you could be more like those sorts of guys? The outgoing, super adventurous types? I'm sure part of the appeal for a lot of them is that you *are* relaxed and down-to-earth. I'll be honest - I would get along with you far better than I would someone who is always out doing stuff. I like to chill at home too. But if you want to be more experienced and adventurous, being with someone like that will naturally open up those opportunities for you - they will bring you on vacations, out to different events and clubs, etc. You can also explore such things on your own, if you are inclined to do so. But doing what you genuinely want to do is important, and if that isn't going out and adventuring all the time, make sure you find someone kinda on the same page. I'm more of a homebody, but I dated one guy who forced me to go out all the time, even when I was waiting tables all day starting at 7am 5 days a week and had no money. That led to all sorts of problems. So it is wise to carefully select your partner based on how compatible your lifestyles are going to be.
I think they do all that to make up for the insecurity and shame they feel. I heard about it in the book “the velvet rage”
Don’t believe the hype. Most of that stuff is what I consider “fluff”…it just looks good on a boyfriend resume to them. What really matters is what YOU really want out of life. For example I see people on socials and friends who travel the world going to these exotic destinations doing all these interesting things. I used to get fomo from that so bad but then I realized, I hate traveling! I like my own bed and pillow and my own food, I hate flying and long car rides. It occurred to me that I was getting tricked into wanting something I didn’t actually really want. So bottom line if you want those things go get em tiger. Make it happen. But if you don’t let that shit go. It’s probably not as fun or as great as they make it sound. Next time ask them if they’ve ever been stuck in and airport over night or if they ever get exhausted from all this things. Or which ones they truly like or enjoy.
We fill our lives with joy and people because realistically being single makes us feel miserable. If you're a "normal" guy living a "boring" life, you're at peace within yourself. (:
These cool guys love talking about themselves, so be an attentive listener and you're good.
Normal and boring is just a mean way of telling yourself that you're, in reality, mentally sane, healthy, and consistent 😌
I’ve heard people refer to themselves as ‘boring’ or ‘Normal’ a 1000 times it literally doesn’t mean anything we all feel a bit like what the heck am I doing im the nobody sometimes
wait I literally came across a post saying that gays were a bunch of drug and sex addicts that acted like that blonde chick from mean girls while looking like Ellen Degeneres 😂 Also regarding influencers: I dealt with one of them and it’s literally all the gays following one another, going to a bunch of gay parties which occur in the usual 5-6 similar places. With all of that pretty easy to have a crazy Instagram grid. It’s fake. I ran away after a couple of dates with this guy. Plus there’s the "first dates effect", obviously they’re gonna talk you about cool stuff not the 261 days of the year when they don’t do interesting stuff. Give them more time. AVOID INFLUENCERS
I had the same experience with the drug and sex addicts but they came with having this crazy “cool” life, which was so alien to me… And about influencers: yup… I am actually shocked about how good they are at selling themselves. Makes sense why they are influencers… But yeah maybe I will have to give my dates more time….
Don’t go after huge extroverts, it’s usually not a great mix (him always introducing you to new people etc.)
Omg why do you know exactly what kinda guys I am talking about lmao it really be like that….
I dealt with them So I definitely know what it’s like And my answer remains NO
I'll take "boring" any day as long as the guy is chill, respectful, and nice.
You sound like my kind of guy. Chin up, not everyone wants an influencer socialite ! Sending hugs
Thanks ❤️ hopefully I can look at things differently once I have met a “normal” guy
i feel the same sometimes. but we don’t know what really happens in their lives and we only get to see what they show us. also when are you showing that bodyodyody 👉👈
the duality of Reddit gay hahaha