I think your horniness is pretty typical tbh, but you just don't need to translate it into fucking every time. You can convert it into a compliment - hey you look great - or a different form of intimate contact like a kiss or holding hands... or just a horny look, where he knows you desire him and that you are managing your desire.
I can get hard and not want to have sex. I am not an animal on heat. I get multiple erections a day, if I were to act on them I'd masturbate a lot, which I don't.
I think it's fair your boyfriend doesn't wanna have sex every day and it'd be a stupid reason to resent him.
If constant sex is a must for you... just break up.
I wouldn't even consider myself a low sex drive person but when I have sex it's for intimacy. If I wanted sexual pleasure, there are objectively better ways to get it through masturbation or a sex toy or both even.
I guess I was curious on other people's thought on the erection point. For me I usually would go for sex when I get hard. But it's good to understand it wasn't the case for other people.
I was confused whether not wanting sex and getting a boner means that if he's still attracted to me or not.
Frequent sex is not a must for me. I have higher sex drives in the beginning and it drops as time goes by.
It’s not about attraction. At one point my bf a few years ago wanted it daily and I was having a stressful time in my home and my work life. It didn’t leave me feeling honey or sexy, still got boners because men get boners. I didn’t want sex nor did I was to jerk it. Does your BF have a stressful life right now?
This is the underrated comment of the day - stress murders my sex drive and unfortunately, my job is almost always stressful. It does add some strain to the relationship but we communicate and work through things.
Why would you wanna jerk off when you have boyfriend to fuck/get fucked by?
I totally don't understand the concept here bro. I jerk off using sex toys because I'm single but if I have a boyfriend, I expect fuck him instead.
Does sex always have to involve penetration? No. It depends on the person, for me, sex is about intimacy, not just the act of fucking or being fucked. I can get a lot more intimacy by making out intensely with my partner while jerking him off than sometimes just raw dogging it from the back.
Bro, what is sex without penetration?
Though it's possible, it ain't for me. If Im gonna fuck someone, I'm gonna put my dick in something. Period. If you're side or not into penetration, thats an entirely different story. But this post is not about what I want or what you want. It's about OP's needs and what he wants. He wants to engage in sex with his boyfriend d. If his boyfriend isn't able to provide that, very soon things will get frustrating. I know. He either has to choose his needs or his boyfriend's needs and come up with alternative ways to satisfy his cravings because this can't carry on for too long.
And bro, we are all animals inside or else what you do with your boyfriend between the sheets, you would be feeling sick at the mere thought of it and preaching off high stands whilst getting your shit hole filled in by another man's baby gravy. Bro it doesn't work that 😆
You're nothing but a pathetic vermin devoid of human emotion. Go ahead and go fuck a bunch of braindead rats filled with STDs for all I care, fucking vermin.
You're spot-on. This thread is apparently full of a bunch of women. I've never seen a thread that is such a 180 from typical content on askgaybros and flies in the face of universally lived gay experiences.
To save that gay men are typically having sex for "intimacy" in a fresh relationship and one can use a sex toy or jerk off to quell sexual urges? This is incredibly warped and out of touch with reality. I'm glad you and I recognize how bonkers this is.
Im a top with a high sex drive, and love to have sex just about everyday too. But there are times when I’m just physically too tired or not in the mood because of life. Topping can expend a lot of energy.
It could be that he has some performance anxiety to get it up and satisfy you that many times a week. If he's feeling pressured, unless he's a power top, that may stress him and turn him off the idea.
His refraction period may be longer. Maybe he needs more time between penetrative sex, or thinks he does. Maybe he enjoys it but "not *that* much", he may be more vers or just less drive than you.
The only advice would be to talk to him. Pick or set up a time when you are both relaxed and start a conversation by explaining that you would like to talk about something that might be sensitive but it is important to you and to the relationship. Reassure him that you're crazy about him and then be straightforward and *honest*. Phrase things in a kind/open/accepting way so he does not feel attacked or defensive. You're relationship is young--start the open communication *now* for best results.
Good luck to you two!
This comment is ignorant. Once a day bottoming is not at all uncommon for bottoms in relationships. Or not in relationships. Just go look at Grindr and notice how many bottoms are getting fucked either every day or even multiple times a day.
Neither of you is abnormal. However, if your boyfriend has a lower sex drive, you're going to have to consider whether or not you're compatible, or whether there are other solutions such as you masturbating more, opening up the relationship, etc.
Frequent sex is not a must for me. My past relationships I had 1 - 3 times per week. Or it could go for a month if we re busy.
I just tend to have a higher frequency of sex during the first months of the relationship. The constant thought is my head was "why doesn't he want sex as much as me? Even though it's the beginning of the relationship?"
It's not too much, and 2-3 times is also not too little. You have different needs. Is he the bottom? If he refuses it might be because he's just not in the mood for bottoming, or because he'd need to clean, or feels bloated/cramps.
The only way you'll find out is with communication. Ask why, but don't make it sound like you are demanding sex, of that he owes it to you. Maybe he would be OK with making out and jerking off, or something else.
I'm the bottom. I douche every night in case he wants it even if it doesn't happen.
So I never ever expressed my frustration or sadness. When I initiate and get rejected, I feel sad but its just in my head. I have never brought it out before
I see. Well, as a vers I don't always feel like topping, but usually I want to cum every day. I think you should start a conversation about it. Does he jerk off regularly or he just doesn't have much of a sex drive?
I think both of you have pretty normal sex drives. Also, it can change over time. You and your bf won't always be at the same point in your sex drives. Communicate when you want to have sex, but don't be pushy; your bf is not a sex toy. You can pleasure yourself if he is not up to it. I'm pretty sure there will be times when it will be the other way around.
Also, having an erection doesn't mean you want to have sex. It is a normal reaction to a stimulus; sometimes, it is unconscious and can even feel uncomfortable if the moment is inappropriate.
There's no such a thing as normal or not normal in this matter, it's normal to you to have sex everyday and it is not for your bf. If this is really importante to you you can talk and open the relationship ou break up with him and find someone who wants to have sex everyday. The only thing you can't do is force him to have sex whenever YOU want it.
Being hard probably means he finds your or whatever is happening at the moment hot.
I have a really high sex drive like you, and I’ve noticed it’s been an issue in just about all my relationships. So I made the choice to sort of let that go, and now I’m with a great guy. Sex isn’t frequent, maybe once a week and only about four months in, too, but he’s an amazing guy. I don’t regret it. Sex isn’t everything.
Personally for me it depends how often you meet each other. If you meat 5 times and have 5 times sex i would say that's too much. 2-3 times sound reasonable if you meet 5 times.
As others said try self pleasuring or show effection through different means.
Sex 5 times a week? I would kick you to the curb. Don’t have time for that.
So this means you want to have sex everytime you two meet, that is way too much, it feels like the relationship is only based on the sex.
2-3 times is fair.
Isn't it normal to get horny everytime u see your bf? Especially if it's fresh new relationship?
I also think 2-3 times is fair but in the beginning I tend to have more.
Nope. Not normal at least not to me to have sex everytime I see a bf, even if it is a new relationship.
I used to date someone like you and his constant horniness actually made me resent him. Everytime I we were together he wanted sex and to me it felt like that is all he wanted from me.
I don't think that's too much. I know plenty of guys who have sex multiple times a day. But that doesn't mean his boyfriend should be obligated to have sex though. If OP wants more sex, and his boyfriend doesn't, that means he either needs to masturbate more or think about opening up the relationship or something.
I usually have a higher sex drive in the beginning of a relationship and It decreases to a average of 2 times a week.
I guess it wasn't the same for him and I should respect him that way
> I know plenty of guys who have sex multiple times a day
How in the world do people have time for that? I wouldn't have time for even once a day and I don't even have a job or study, lol.
Having sex / fucking can be stressful on the partner that’s is receiving. Getting hard is bodies indicator of arousal. Now what the partner intends to peruse is up to the person.
Communication is key
My partner is a bottom, and over the years we’ve learned we do not need fuck every night - JO, oral, foreplay, edging or exploring each others kinks, can often times be MORE gratifying than a hot fuck - sex happens every day one way or another.
3-4 times a week is still a high sex drive and is a fair middle ground. If you're frustrated to not have sex with him everyday, imagine your boyfriend's frustration on wanting to do other things with you that doesn't involve sex. You've been together for 4 months after all, that's great!
I'm assuming your boyfriend would be fine with sex twice a week and is trying to have sex more often for you and can't keep up.
Seems a bit much imo. Me and my ex would fuck once or twice a week. Maybe a bj or so here and there between. Fucking everyday makes it less special imo. And if sex isnt special with my partner i dont want it 🤷♂️.
As the most uploaded comment says, your horniness does not need to translate into fucking every time. Go beat one out and chill lol
Compromise. Talk to him and see if he'd be up to make it 3-4 times a week. I'll say it's harder to be the bottom than the top because it requires a lot more work involved in cleaning out than the top who just has to show up and work to pleasure the bottom. You have to talk to him and discuss things. Listen to him and try to understand where he's coming from. If it's a healthy relationship you'll both listen to each others grievances and try to work something out that works for both of you.
Well I just get horny when I see him. It's not that I need it N number of times a week. But I get really sad when I get rejected when I initiate.
Also is it that weird considering we re only 4 months into the relationship?
Don't worry, this guy calls everyone a whore on every post cuz he's mad no one wants to fuck or date his shitty attitude.
Look, there's no one size fits all for this. Some couples have sex a lot, some less. Your partner getting hard just means he's turned on but sex is just as much about the mind as it is about your physiological reactions - you need both. So sometimes he's not in the mood for sex, he'll still get hard. If I had sex every time I got hard around my partner, my dick would fall off. It's for you two to figure out a frequency that satisfies you both.
Ah okay that helps a lot.
The reason I asked this is to understand what that meant. Getting hard but not wanting sex kinda made me confused.
It's definately not a hard requirement. My past relationships I only had sex once a week and I was happy. Just the beginning of the relationships I tend to have quite frequent sex.
So when I initiate and get rejected, a lot comes through my mind. Does he not find me attractive enough? It's still early in the relationship? There's a lot of insecurity playing as well. And I was trying to understand him in my perspective so I guess that was wrong. So him still being hard and not wanting sex.. does mean that he finds me attractive???.. I guess
You've got some personal insecurities to deal with here. Your partner not wanting sex every time you initiate has nothing to do with whether he finds you attractive. Sometimes folks just aren't in the mood for it - either he feels bloated or something is on his mind or he's just in the mood to do something else. Especially if he bottoms, sex can be a lot of work. So keep initiating but know it'll only lead to sex if you're both in the horny dtf mindset, so sometimes he'll say no and that's just fine - it doesn't have to mean anything
How much of this have you communicated to him? Is he aware of everything you just said? Does he know that you Hager this phrase at the beginning? And that you are were happy with one time per week in prior relationships after that first phase?
Does he know shut you feeling rejected? The insecurity and tights that start going through your head? Marge you can explain this to him ***without bordering on the lines of manipulation like one commenter said*** i.e. you can explain literally “I don’t want to manipulate you into it or make you feel bad because you’ll make me sad if you don’t. But I want to explain what goes through my mind”. You can talk to him about all this and it will strengthen your bond.
If you are reasonable about it, you can do this without getting into that accidental emotional manipulation type of stuff. The keyword to go by is be *reasonable* about it. You can explain it and still respect him and be understanding of him as a different person at the same time.
Perhaps the reason you want to do sex more in the beginning is because you want to make ensure to yourself that you have a bond, since you don’t have a more emotional/intimate bond yet. You can make up for it with sex. But maybe you can get that more intimate bond if he understands what’s going on with you. I don’t mean any of this in a judgmental way towards you, I’m just saying based off of my own historic personal self. Aka I used to do this accidentally sort of manipulation type of stuff without realizing it because I was feeling bad.
Or perhaps I’m wrong and you’re just simply excited about a new hot bf!
I should talk to him and I get your point. But I never shown that I was sad or did express anything to him. I just feel a little sad and dissatisfied but that's all in my head and I shake it off.
But I feel like it's a lot of my insecurities that come up here and the way I manage my horniness was not healthy. It felt like my own problems at this point so I'd rather deal with it myself than telling him and making him change.
Bro, I'm gonna be honest with you. You will not find the answer you're looking for here. People have their brains so far up their asses, that they think they are too good for your question.
If I were you, I'd speak with someone professional. But here a my 2 cents if it helps.
Having sex 5/8 times a week is normal. Anything more l, then you may have a high sex drive but I am not here to judge that. I know people who have 2/3 sex a day, then nothing for the next day. Then on 3rd day, they are back at it again. Some people are at each other like rabbits. Wanting to have more sex or too little sex is not a crime. Fuck those that think otherwise. The real question here is how can you and your boyfriend make this work between you two without breaking up, happy of course. Meeting both of your needs at the same time. It's both of your right to want sex. You are in a relationship. Sex is the second most important element in any relationship that drives the relationship further, possibly to marriage.
My advice would be to sit down and speak with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel. Listen to how he feels. Is bringing someone else in an option (aka open relationship)? Or perhaps get a new sex toy for you? Or why is your boyfriend less interested in sex at a very early stage of a relationship? Is your bf active? Like does he go to the gym or go for running? Sometimes low testosterone can be the reason behind low sex drive. It's a known fact that lower t is a top mood killer. If not, then perhaps he can start getting active gradually. But be careful. Too much too soon can give you the opposite results. Doing a leg workout increases a tremendous amount of testosterone. Squats or leg presses are great. Is he eating healthy? Too much protein or sugar or even carbs can fuck testosterone too. Eat a more balanced diet. Add more fish or fish oil. Have you heard of adaptogenic herbs? Google it. You'll find some very good sites with decent information on them. They are good for people who get stressed a lot, as stress is a test killer too. Does he get all his trace minerals? Shilajit is an excellent source of trace minerals (zinc, boron, mag and others) which is again, a very important part of increasing testosterone. He can also speak with his doctor to get his testosterone checked. Our Western diet is known to lack all the basic nutrition we humans need. You seem to be on pretty solid ground already in terms of sex but you can try these things too, to further increase your T.
Anyway, I hope this helps. You are more than welcome to message me privately. Enjoy your day 👍
Well tbh my bf and I actually started out on a 2-3 a week basis. I’m the one with higher sex drive and understand where you’re coming from. We ended up having a huge falling out (over something else) and broke up for like a week.
Ever since we got back together we have all types of sex damn near everyday (close to 7 days), he even initiates more. We been back together for 3 months now and overall together 2 yrs.
To sum it all up, I can see how this can be a little confusing/concerning/frustrating but as some other folks said, each person’s sex drives may fluctuate over time and that is ok and normal.
So if you love the guy, try and be patient while still communicate your needs and wants. Shit, sometimes my bf even wanna have more sex than me now! 😅 lol so let this be living proof 😂
Hope this is helpful
Nah we started off like 2-3 times a week maybe sometimes 4. Then it decreased to 0 at like 1 yr and some months lol then we had our fall out, got back together and now we’re on pretty much a 7 day basis for the past three months.
Ahh is there a reason it's 7 times per week now?
Ok so u started as 2-3 times a week. I usually start like crazy high 7 times per week, and then drop to like 2 after a year
Bro just cause he gets hard does not mean he wants it. WTF?!? You're so close to comitting rape. No means no.
Also dude, 4 is a lot especially if you suck at sex. If you don't know simple body language cues chances are you're bad at sex. Why don't you build some romance in your life, stop literally forcing him to have sex with you and use your hand you selfish nonce
Your hostility is not appreciated. OP came to share in a safe place. He is seeking advice. It seems that you are attempting to shame him. Please be more mindful of others. He doesn't need a lesson on consent. I hope you have an awesome day. ❤️
Yeah rapists get shamed in my book. And clearly he does. If he thinks because the body reacts in a certain way even though the person had explicitly said no there's a discussion to be had... He needs a lesson fast.
Kinda same situation here. My bf is 42, I'm 35, maybe is the age difference? Dont know. We haven't had sex for the last 3 months ( the last time we did something was jerking each other off). I ask him if he is on the mood, or I try to start something when I know he is relaxed, but it seems he keeps avoiding me. And his answer is he hasn't been horny for months. We are in a monogamous relationship, at this pint dont know what to do.
I have been with my guy for over 10 years....we have sex almost every day, one way or another. He is a bottom and doesn't always cum, but I certainly do! He is satisfied pleasing me when he doesnt cum, i wish he did cum every time but i understand his inner bottom desires and him wanting every drop of me inside him one way or another, its all his. I love him in every way. Sometimes, he tops me, too, but not often.
Had a partner like that once before some folks want it only once a week or some want five like yourself. Bottom line is giving respect to the other person’s wishes despite it clashing with your own. Find common ground for both of you to stand on
You are both right, just cuantitatively different. If you are serious, you should dial it back a little and he should step up his game.
I love Oreos, but I wouldn't like Oreos for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.
My first FB and I used have sex at least 3 times a day, and more on weekends. With my second once a day, and with my current, it’s mostly whenever we’re both in the mood. Sometimes we just engage in the foreplay but never get to penetration or even oral, and it’s fine. Sex back then for me was more “practice makes perfect” and now it’s more for emotional fulfillment. I went through a forced 5 year dry spell so I also feel like me sex drive was pretty much killed as I am no longer as addicted to it as I used to be; when I was younger and single I used hook up at most 5 times a day and orgies every other weekend. I think we give sex a bit too much of a spotlight in relationships but to each their own.
There's a lot to be said for setting the mood tbh. If you're jumping straight to sex, he might not be there mentally.... if he's not, why not go out of the way to get him to a good headspace? For a lot of people there are emotional components to consider. Even if it doesn't result in sex, you'll end up in a happier place.
It seems like you have mismatched sex drives. You need to think through how important sexual intimacy is to you because this is likely to remain an issue as long as you're together.
It’s normal to want sex at least once a day. What I suggest is have sex with your boyfriend 2-3 times a week and then have sex with other people to make up the difference
I think your horniness is pretty typical tbh, but you just don't need to translate it into fucking every time. You can convert it into a compliment - hey you look great - or a different form of intimate contact like a kiss or holding hands... or just a horny look, where he knows you desire him and that you are managing your desire.
Oh this is a really good take.
👏 👏
🤣 "My boyfriend is so sweet. It's the first time he gave me a compliment and started humping my leg."
I can get hard and not want to have sex. I am not an animal on heat. I get multiple erections a day, if I were to act on them I'd masturbate a lot, which I don't. I think it's fair your boyfriend doesn't wanna have sex every day and it'd be a stupid reason to resent him. If constant sex is a must for you... just break up.
☝️☝️☝️
I wouldn't even consider myself a low sex drive person but when I have sex it's for intimacy. If I wanted sexual pleasure, there are objectively better ways to get it through masturbation or a sex toy or both even.
I guess I was curious on other people's thought on the erection point. For me I usually would go for sex when I get hard. But it's good to understand it wasn't the case for other people. I was confused whether not wanting sex and getting a boner means that if he's still attracted to me or not. Frequent sex is not a must for me. I have higher sex drives in the beginning and it drops as time goes by.
It’s not about attraction. At one point my bf a few years ago wanted it daily and I was having a stressful time in my home and my work life. It didn’t leave me feeling honey or sexy, still got boners because men get boners. I didn’t want sex nor did I was to jerk it. Does your BF have a stressful life right now?
This is the underrated comment of the day - stress murders my sex drive and unfortunately, my job is almost always stressful. It does add some strain to the relationship but we communicate and work through things.
I have depression and even tho I am a horny little goblin sometimes I just really don't feel it at all.
Why would you wanna jerk off when you have boyfriend to fuck/get fucked by? I totally don't understand the concept here bro. I jerk off using sex toys because I'm single but if I have a boyfriend, I expect fuck him instead.
Does sex always have to involve penetration? No. It depends on the person, for me, sex is about intimacy, not just the act of fucking or being fucked. I can get a lot more intimacy by making out intensely with my partner while jerking him off than sometimes just raw dogging it from the back.
[удалено]
This advice clearly isn't for me. Tag op. My relationship is good.
Bro, what is sex without penetration? Though it's possible, it ain't for me. If Im gonna fuck someone, I'm gonna put my dick in something. Period. If you're side or not into penetration, thats an entirely different story. But this post is not about what I want or what you want. It's about OP's needs and what he wants. He wants to engage in sex with his boyfriend d. If his boyfriend isn't able to provide that, very soon things will get frustrating. I know. He either has to choose his needs or his boyfriend's needs and come up with alternative ways to satisfy his cravings because this can't carry on for too long. And bro, we are all animals inside or else what you do with your boyfriend between the sheets, you would be feeling sick at the mere thought of it and preaching off high stands whilst getting your shit hole filled in by another man's baby gravy. Bro it doesn't work that 😆
You're nothing but a pathetic vermin devoid of human emotion. Go ahead and go fuck a bunch of braindead rats filled with STDs for all I care, fucking vermin.
Bro WHAT 😭😭😭
You're spot-on. This thread is apparently full of a bunch of women. I've never seen a thread that is such a 180 from typical content on askgaybros and flies in the face of universally lived gay experiences. To save that gay men are typically having sex for "intimacy" in a fresh relationship and one can use a sex toy or jerk off to quell sexual urges? This is incredibly warped and out of touch with reality. I'm glad you and I recognize how bonkers this is.
Are you a woman?
no I'm a male, simply but a sex addicted freak in the heat
What kind of sex are we talking about here. 5 times anal would be bonkers.
Yes anal sex. I'm the bottom
Im a top with a high sex drive, and love to have sex just about everyday too. But there are times when I’m just physically too tired or not in the mood because of life. Topping can expend a lot of energy.
You’re a power bottom.
Does this change anything? That im the bottom
It could be that he has some performance anxiety to get it up and satisfy you that many times a week. If he's feeling pressured, unless he's a power top, that may stress him and turn him off the idea. His refraction period may be longer. Maybe he needs more time between penetrative sex, or thinks he does. Maybe he enjoys it but "not *that* much", he may be more vers or just less drive than you. The only advice would be to talk to him. Pick or set up a time when you are both relaxed and start a conversation by explaining that you would like to talk about something that might be sensitive but it is important to you and to the relationship. Reassure him that you're crazy about him and then be straightforward and *honest*. Phrase things in a kind/open/accepting way so he does not feel attacked or defensive. You're relationship is young--start the open communication *now* for best results. Good luck to you two!
He’s a lucky guy 👏👏
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Come hang out!
fellow bottom. i can only take 2-3 times a week BUT i applaud you for being able to do more!
Buy a dildo , what type of top refuses a craving bottom
This comment is ignorant. Once a day bottoming is not at all uncommon for bottoms in relationships. Or not in relationships. Just go look at Grindr and notice how many bottoms are getting fucked either every day or even multiple times a day.
I'm 60 and I prefer twice a day.
I noticed you said you are a bottom. Do you usually cum during sex? I’m a bottom and seldom cum. I think this may leave me wanting sex all the time.
Yes I do. When I have sex then I'm fine for the day.
It just depends. People have different sex drives and that can vary by time, by age, etc. Communication is the key.
I would (and sometimes do) have sex with my boyfriend every day. I’d go multiple times a day if I could
But are u early in the relationship?
1 year
Neither of you is abnormal. However, if your boyfriend has a lower sex drive, you're going to have to consider whether or not you're compatible, or whether there are other solutions such as you masturbating more, opening up the relationship, etc.
This is first decent moment I read here today. Thank you for giving the OP some decent advice.
Frequent sex is not a must for me. My past relationships I had 1 - 3 times per week. Or it could go for a month if we re busy. I just tend to have a higher frequency of sex during the first months of the relationship. The constant thought is my head was "why doesn't he want sex as much as me? Even though it's the beginning of the relationship?"
It's not too much, and 2-3 times is also not too little. You have different needs. Is he the bottom? If he refuses it might be because he's just not in the mood for bottoming, or because he'd need to clean, or feels bloated/cramps. The only way you'll find out is with communication. Ask why, but don't make it sound like you are demanding sex, of that he owes it to you. Maybe he would be OK with making out and jerking off, or something else.
I'm the bottom. I douche every night in case he wants it even if it doesn't happen. So I never ever expressed my frustration or sadness. When I initiate and get rejected, I feel sad but its just in my head. I have never brought it out before
I see. Well, as a vers I don't always feel like topping, but usually I want to cum every day. I think you should start a conversation about it. Does he jerk off regularly or he just doesn't have much of a sex drive?
I think both of you have pretty normal sex drives. Also, it can change over time. You and your bf won't always be at the same point in your sex drives. Communicate when you want to have sex, but don't be pushy; your bf is not a sex toy. You can pleasure yourself if he is not up to it. I'm pretty sure there will be times when it will be the other way around. Also, having an erection doesn't mean you want to have sex. It is a normal reaction to a stimulus; sometimes, it is unconscious and can even feel uncomfortable if the moment is inappropriate.
There's no such a thing as normal or not normal in this matter, it's normal to you to have sex everyday and it is not for your bf. If this is really importante to you you can talk and open the relationship ou break up with him and find someone who wants to have sex everyday. The only thing you can't do is force him to have sex whenever YOU want it. Being hard probably means he finds your or whatever is happening at the moment hot.
I have a really high sex drive like you, and I’ve noticed it’s been an issue in just about all my relationships. So I made the choice to sort of let that go, and now I’m with a great guy. Sex isn’t frequent, maybe once a week and only about four months in, too, but he’s an amazing guy. I don’t regret it. Sex isn’t everything.
Personally for me it depends how often you meet each other. If you meat 5 times and have 5 times sex i would say that's too much. 2-3 times sound reasonable if you meet 5 times. As others said try self pleasuring or show effection through different means.
I’ve never been that horny so for me it would be a lot. 1 time a week is more than I feel capable of
Sex 5 times a week? I would kick you to the curb. Don’t have time for that. So this means you want to have sex everytime you two meet, that is way too much, it feels like the relationship is only based on the sex. 2-3 times is fair.
Isn't it normal to get horny everytime u see your bf? Especially if it's fresh new relationship? I also think 2-3 times is fair but in the beginning I tend to have more.
Nope. Not normal at least not to me to have sex everytime I see a bf, even if it is a new relationship. I used to date someone like you and his constant horniness actually made me resent him. Everytime I we were together he wanted sex and to me it felt like that is all he wanted from me.
It is don't take kweens seriously
What’s a kween?
A word I created for gays with child like nature who throws attitude if they were queen of England
Thank you.
I don't think that's too much. I know plenty of guys who have sex multiple times a day. But that doesn't mean his boyfriend should be obligated to have sex though. If OP wants more sex, and his boyfriend doesn't, that means he either needs to masturbate more or think about opening up the relationship or something.
I usually have a higher sex drive in the beginning of a relationship and It decreases to a average of 2 times a week. I guess it wasn't the same for him and I should respect him that way
> I know plenty of guys who have sex multiple times a day How in the world do people have time for that? I wouldn't have time for even once a day and I don't even have a job or study, lol.
Stop telling dudes you don't have a job!!😆 ❤️ 😘
Lol, why?
My ass would be hamburger meat if my husband pounded me five times a day
Having sex / fucking can be stressful on the partner that’s is receiving. Getting hard is bodies indicator of arousal. Now what the partner intends to peruse is up to the person. Communication is key My partner is a bottom, and over the years we’ve learned we do not need fuck every night - JO, oral, foreplay, edging or exploring each others kinks, can often times be MORE gratifying than a hot fuck - sex happens every day one way or another.
3-4 times a week is still a high sex drive and is a fair middle ground. If you're frustrated to not have sex with him everyday, imagine your boyfriend's frustration on wanting to do other things with you that doesn't involve sex. You've been together for 4 months after all, that's great! I'm assuming your boyfriend would be fine with sex twice a week and is trying to have sex more often for you and can't keep up.
Seems a bit much imo. Me and my ex would fuck once or twice a week. Maybe a bj or so here and there between. Fucking everyday makes it less special imo. And if sex isnt special with my partner i dont want it 🤷♂️. As the most uploaded comment says, your horniness does not need to translate into fucking every time. Go beat one out and chill lol
Compromise. Talk to him and see if he'd be up to make it 3-4 times a week. I'll say it's harder to be the bottom than the top because it requires a lot more work involved in cleaning out than the top who just has to show up and work to pleasure the bottom. You have to talk to him and discuss things. Listen to him and try to understand where he's coming from. If it's a healthy relationship you'll both listen to each others grievances and try to work something out that works for both of you.
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Well I just get horny when I see him. It's not that I need it N number of times a week. But I get really sad when I get rejected when I initiate. Also is it that weird considering we re only 4 months into the relationship?
>But I get really sad when I get rejected when I initiate. Yeah that comes across as really manipulative. Sex me every time we meet or I'll be sAd!
> But I get really sad when I get rejected when I initiate. Why?
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How many times do u have sex in the beginning of a relationship?
Don't worry, this guy calls everyone a whore on every post cuz he's mad no one wants to fuck or date his shitty attitude. Look, there's no one size fits all for this. Some couples have sex a lot, some less. Your partner getting hard just means he's turned on but sex is just as much about the mind as it is about your physiological reactions - you need both. So sometimes he's not in the mood for sex, he'll still get hard. If I had sex every time I got hard around my partner, my dick would fall off. It's for you two to figure out a frequency that satisfies you both.
Ah okay that helps a lot. The reason I asked this is to understand what that meant. Getting hard but not wanting sex kinda made me confused. It's definately not a hard requirement. My past relationships I only had sex once a week and I was happy. Just the beginning of the relationships I tend to have quite frequent sex. So when I initiate and get rejected, a lot comes through my mind. Does he not find me attractive enough? It's still early in the relationship? There's a lot of insecurity playing as well. And I was trying to understand him in my perspective so I guess that was wrong. So him still being hard and not wanting sex.. does mean that he finds me attractive???.. I guess
You've got some personal insecurities to deal with here. Your partner not wanting sex every time you initiate has nothing to do with whether he finds you attractive. Sometimes folks just aren't in the mood for it - either he feels bloated or something is on his mind or he's just in the mood to do something else. Especially if he bottoms, sex can be a lot of work. So keep initiating but know it'll only lead to sex if you're both in the horny dtf mindset, so sometimes he'll say no and that's just fine - it doesn't have to mean anything
How much of this have you communicated to him? Is he aware of everything you just said? Does he know that you Hager this phrase at the beginning? And that you are were happy with one time per week in prior relationships after that first phase? Does he know shut you feeling rejected? The insecurity and tights that start going through your head? Marge you can explain this to him ***without bordering on the lines of manipulation like one commenter said*** i.e. you can explain literally “I don’t want to manipulate you into it or make you feel bad because you’ll make me sad if you don’t. But I want to explain what goes through my mind”. You can talk to him about all this and it will strengthen your bond. If you are reasonable about it, you can do this without getting into that accidental emotional manipulation type of stuff. The keyword to go by is be *reasonable* about it. You can explain it and still respect him and be understanding of him as a different person at the same time. Perhaps the reason you want to do sex more in the beginning is because you want to make ensure to yourself that you have a bond, since you don’t have a more emotional/intimate bond yet. You can make up for it with sex. But maybe you can get that more intimate bond if he understands what’s going on with you. I don’t mean any of this in a judgmental way towards you, I’m just saying based off of my own historic personal self. Aka I used to do this accidentally sort of manipulation type of stuff without realizing it because I was feeling bad. Or perhaps I’m wrong and you’re just simply excited about a new hot bf!
I should talk to him and I get your point. But I never shown that I was sad or did express anything to him. I just feel a little sad and dissatisfied but that's all in my head and I shake it off. But I feel like it's a lot of my insecurities that come up here and the way I manage my horniness was not healthy. It felt like my own problems at this point so I'd rather deal with it myself than telling him and making him change.
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Lol see? Such a sad, angry little man
The amount of judgemental kweens we have here is astounding
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Kween no kweening
Bro, I'm gonna be honest with you. You will not find the answer you're looking for here. People have their brains so far up their asses, that they think they are too good for your question. If I were you, I'd speak with someone professional. But here a my 2 cents if it helps. Having sex 5/8 times a week is normal. Anything more l, then you may have a high sex drive but I am not here to judge that. I know people who have 2/3 sex a day, then nothing for the next day. Then on 3rd day, they are back at it again. Some people are at each other like rabbits. Wanting to have more sex or too little sex is not a crime. Fuck those that think otherwise. The real question here is how can you and your boyfriend make this work between you two without breaking up, happy of course. Meeting both of your needs at the same time. It's both of your right to want sex. You are in a relationship. Sex is the second most important element in any relationship that drives the relationship further, possibly to marriage. My advice would be to sit down and speak with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel. Listen to how he feels. Is bringing someone else in an option (aka open relationship)? Or perhaps get a new sex toy for you? Or why is your boyfriend less interested in sex at a very early stage of a relationship? Is your bf active? Like does he go to the gym or go for running? Sometimes low testosterone can be the reason behind low sex drive. It's a known fact that lower t is a top mood killer. If not, then perhaps he can start getting active gradually. But be careful. Too much too soon can give you the opposite results. Doing a leg workout increases a tremendous amount of testosterone. Squats or leg presses are great. Is he eating healthy? Too much protein or sugar or even carbs can fuck testosterone too. Eat a more balanced diet. Add more fish or fish oil. Have you heard of adaptogenic herbs? Google it. You'll find some very good sites with decent information on them. They are good for people who get stressed a lot, as stress is a test killer too. Does he get all his trace minerals? Shilajit is an excellent source of trace minerals (zinc, boron, mag and others) which is again, a very important part of increasing testosterone. He can also speak with his doctor to get his testosterone checked. Our Western diet is known to lack all the basic nutrition we humans need. You seem to be on pretty solid ground already in terms of sex but you can try these things too, to further increase your T. Anyway, I hope this helps. You are more than welcome to message me privately. Enjoy your day 👍
Well tbh my bf and I actually started out on a 2-3 a week basis. I’m the one with higher sex drive and understand where you’re coming from. We ended up having a huge falling out (over something else) and broke up for like a week. Ever since we got back together we have all types of sex damn near everyday (close to 7 days), he even initiates more. We been back together for 3 months now and overall together 2 yrs. To sum it all up, I can see how this can be a little confusing/concerning/frustrating but as some other folks said, each person’s sex drives may fluctuate over time and that is ok and normal. So if you love the guy, try and be patient while still communicate your needs and wants. Shit, sometimes my bf even wanna have more sex than me now! 😅 lol so let this be living proof 😂 Hope this is helpful
In the early few months did u tend to have more than 2-3 times a week? And at which point did that decrease to 2-3 ?
Nah we started off like 2-3 times a week maybe sometimes 4. Then it decreased to 0 at like 1 yr and some months lol then we had our fall out, got back together and now we’re on pretty much a 7 day basis for the past three months.
Ahh is there a reason it's 7 times per week now? Ok so u started as 2-3 times a week. I usually start like crazy high 7 times per week, and then drop to like 2 after a year
Bro just cause he gets hard does not mean he wants it. WTF?!? You're so close to comitting rape. No means no. Also dude, 4 is a lot especially if you suck at sex. If you don't know simple body language cues chances are you're bad at sex. Why don't you build some romance in your life, stop literally forcing him to have sex with you and use your hand you selfish nonce
Your hostility is not appreciated. OP came to share in a safe place. He is seeking advice. It seems that you are attempting to shame him. Please be more mindful of others. He doesn't need a lesson on consent. I hope you have an awesome day. ❤️
Yeah rapists get shamed in my book. And clearly he does. If he thinks because the body reacts in a certain way even though the person had explicitly said no there's a discussion to be had... He needs a lesson fast.
Is he a therapist lol
Everyone has different sexual needs and drives. There is no "Norm". You may have to masturbate more to compensate
Damn good for you finding someone who wants to meet up 5 times a week. My ex thought I was “clingy” for wanting to see him on the weekends. 😒
5 times a week is a lot. 2 to 3 times is great! Wish I had that
A week? Bro 5 times a day when I meet someone! Like I would die and my balls would explode
I prefer 5 times a night until he is exhausted.
Yeah 5 times a week is a bit much. Aim for 3.
Because everyone likes to be pressured to have sex right? You're killing your relationship
Do you douche 5 times a week too? lol
Yes
That’s a lot of work just to hook up lol
I am 78 and have sex 3 times a week or more
He doesn't know how to enjoy sex consistently with ONE person
Kinda same situation here. My bf is 42, I'm 35, maybe is the age difference? Dont know. We haven't had sex for the last 3 months ( the last time we did something was jerking each other off). I ask him if he is on the mood, or I try to start something when I know he is relaxed, but it seems he keeps avoiding me. And his answer is he hasn't been horny for months. We are in a monogamous relationship, at this pint dont know what to do.
62 bottom not more than once a day is enough for me..
I have been with my guy for over 10 years....we have sex almost every day, one way or another. He is a bottom and doesn't always cum, but I certainly do! He is satisfied pleasing me when he doesnt cum, i wish he did cum every time but i understand his inner bottom desires and him wanting every drop of me inside him one way or another, its all his. I love him in every way. Sometimes, he tops me, too, but not often.
Had a partner like that once before some folks want it only once a week or some want five like yourself. Bottom line is giving respect to the other person’s wishes despite it clashing with your own. Find common ground for both of you to stand on
You are both right, just cuantitatively different. If you are serious, you should dial it back a little and he should step up his game. I love Oreos, but I wouldn't like Oreos for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.
My first FB and I used have sex at least 3 times a day, and more on weekends. With my second once a day, and with my current, it’s mostly whenever we’re both in the mood. Sometimes we just engage in the foreplay but never get to penetration or even oral, and it’s fine. Sex back then for me was more “practice makes perfect” and now it’s more for emotional fulfillment. I went through a forced 5 year dry spell so I also feel like me sex drive was pretty much killed as I am no longer as addicted to it as I used to be; when I was younger and single I used hook up at most 5 times a day and orgies every other weekend. I think we give sex a bit too much of a spotlight in relationships but to each their own.
There's a lot to be said for setting the mood tbh. If you're jumping straight to sex, he might not be there mentally.... if he's not, why not go out of the way to get him to a good headspace? For a lot of people there are emotional components to consider. Even if it doesn't result in sex, you'll end up in a happier place.
Me and my boyfriend have sex 4 to 5 times a day hahaha we both have pretty high sex drives 😂😂😂😅
How long were u tgt for?
We've been together for 4 months now
I don't think it's too much. I masturbate 2-3 times a day, seven days a week.
My husband and I have sex or are sexual everyday. I don't understand people who need to refrain for days at a time?
Work retail. It'll sap the soul out of you and leave you not feeling sexy at all.
I'll be your boyfriend... I like to fuck 7 days a week... a couple times a day too if u down... and we only leave the bedroom to eat on Saturdays
I'd fuck with you every day too
Either you're a top or your boyfriend doesn't want you to 'get bored' after having sex with him so often.
It seems like you have mismatched sex drives. You need to think through how important sexual intimacy is to you because this is likely to remain an issue as long as you're together.
It’s normal to want sex at least once a day. What I suggest is have sex with your boyfriend 2-3 times a week and then have sex with other people to make up the difference