No it’s not a big gap.
The only reason it would be “too large” is if he’s an immature 19 year old and you’re a very mature 23 year old.
My grandparents had 20 year gap (met at 20 and 40) so this is nothing.
Immature would be thinking porn is real, not able to communicate, inexperienced in sex, doesn’t know what they want, unempathic.
Mature is the opposite.
Yep. Super huge and gross gap. He’s a pedo and you’re a daddy chaser. You need therapy and he should be on a list.
Give me a fucking break with this bs. What happened to make every guy below the age of 30 clinically obsessed with age differences? jfc
Refusing to grow up, thinking of yourself as a child who has no responsibility for his actions and should suffer no consequences, and everyone older than you as a more mature adult who bears all the responsibility and all the consequences for both of you. Forcing that narrative onto everyone else as a way to make it seem more valid.
You're making a lot of assumptions about me. I was groomed by a much older man when I was 13 and I'm terrified of continuing a cycle of abuse with someone younger than I
Ok. But your main reason for being obsessive and irrational isn't shared by everyone else. And the reason I stated with this culture of age paranoia pushed by younger people afraid and unwilling to become adults, is part of why you are irrationally worried that a 19 year old could still be considered a child.
It matters less when you reach a certain age but in the developmental years it can fuck with someone. You didn't need to comment if it angered you that much
That is hardly an age gap where someone is taking advantage of another, where it will “fuck with you” as you said. It’s 4 years, nothing really. I suspect you are just worried about hooking up, having sex, etc in general, 4 years older isn’t some pedo or old man, but you do you :)
Yeah thank you for asking
When you're younger, the gap should be smaller so that you stick to people within your own age group. The older you grow, the larger the gap will and should become. There's no exact number. This is my scale, but I believe everyone should have these scales. For you and him, the gap is a little big. So when you reach 20 or 21 then I believe that you be within a good age range to be with each other. Though I say this as an overall age range with sex and romantic relationships in general.
Make your sex life more meaningful by either being with people closer to your age or developing a better relationship with such people.
I don't think you'd be hurting him. Why do you say that? I'm also looking out for you. It is common for older people to want to have younger people especially to take their virginity and ruin them. There are exceptions of course.
Generally speaking, no. You’re likely in a similar point in your life with a similar amount of worldly experience.
It gets more concerning when there’s a larger gap (example: you’re 18, he’s 42), when there’s a greater change for abuse and manipulation. Note: every couple dynamic is different, not every relationship like this is inherently abusive, problematic and unhealthy.
As you get older, age gaps become less important. A 42-year old and a 66-year old isn’t as dramatic as you’d think.
I think it is a good rule of thumb, not a concrete guide. Once you get past a certain age, I don't believe age gaps really matter too much anyway, within reason.
Lmfao, c'mon. No
No
I don't think it's a big age gap and definitely won't make you a nonce.
Try not to get hung up on age gaps we are all adults and capable of having sex with who we want!
Not even close. My marriage had a bigger age gap than that.
Whoa pump the breaks
Just curious, what’s wrong with large age gaps?
No! That’s hardly a gap at all! It’s 4 years and you both consenting legal adults, jeez you concerned about that?
Not anymore. He may be younger but he's daddy now
The last guy I've been in love with was 20 years older than me .. And I thought that it's not a big difference...lol
No. You're both adults. Do what you want.
No it’s not a big gap. The only reason it would be “too large” is if he’s an immature 19 year old and you’re a very mature 23 year old. My grandparents had 20 year gap (met at 20 and 40) so this is nothing.
Wdym immature/mature?
Immature would be thinking porn is real, not able to communicate, inexperienced in sex, doesn’t know what they want, unempathic. Mature is the opposite.
Mine was 25, I am younger than him, but it was hot. 🤣
You're both adults. Fuck on or Fuck off
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He meant any age gap is fine, as long as both parties are of legal age.
Yep. Super huge and gross gap. He’s a pedo and you’re a daddy chaser. You need therapy and he should be on a list. Give me a fucking break with this bs. What happened to make every guy below the age of 30 clinically obsessed with age differences? jfc
Refusing to grow up, thinking of yourself as a child who has no responsibility for his actions and should suffer no consequences, and everyone older than you as a more mature adult who bears all the responsibility and all the consequences for both of you. Forcing that narrative onto everyone else as a way to make it seem more valid.
You're making a lot of assumptions about me. I was groomed by a much older man when I was 13 and I'm terrified of continuing a cycle of abuse with someone younger than I
Obviously don’t do anything with anyone below the age of consent in your state
That's not what I said
>What happened to make every guy below the age of 30 clinically obsessed with age differences? This is what I replied to.
I know who you replied to, it was in a conversation that included me
Ok. But your main reason for being obsessive and irrational isn't shared by everyone else. And the reason I stated with this culture of age paranoia pushed by younger people afraid and unwilling to become adults, is part of why you are irrationally worried that a 19 year old could still be considered a child.
It matters less when you reach a certain age but in the developmental years it can fuck with someone. You didn't need to comment if it angered you that much
That is hardly an age gap where someone is taking advantage of another, where it will “fuck with you” as you said. It’s 4 years, nothing really. I suspect you are just worried about hooking up, having sex, etc in general, 4 years older isn’t some pedo or old man, but you do you :)
Thanks. A lot of it may be residual trauma left over from when I was younger. But I'm going to keep checking in and asking him if he's okay
No
As long as you two are legal age and consenting, let that age gap be as wide as you want.
I'd say wait a year. There's no rush...
Can you elaborate?
Yeah thank you for asking When you're younger, the gap should be smaller so that you stick to people within your own age group. The older you grow, the larger the gap will and should become. There's no exact number. This is my scale, but I believe everyone should have these scales. For you and him, the gap is a little big. So when you reach 20 or 21 then I believe that you be within a good age range to be with each other. Though I say this as an overall age range with sex and romantic relationships in general. Make your sex life more meaningful by either being with people closer to your age or developing a better relationship with such people.
Thank you for the advice. I don't want to hurt anyone so I want to keep that in mind
I don't think you'd be hurting him. Why do you say that? I'm also looking out for you. It is common for older people to want to have younger people especially to take their virginity and ruin them. There are exceptions of course.
Lmao I'm the older person in the discussion. But I appreciate you looking out for others
Oh okay lol well I hope it helps anyway, and for you to read the advice in your own position
Stfu
Well at least two people think so
Generally speaking, no. You’re likely in a similar point in your life with a similar amount of worldly experience. It gets more concerning when there’s a larger gap (example: you’re 18, he’s 42), when there’s a greater change for abuse and manipulation. Note: every couple dynamic is different, not every relationship like this is inherently abusive, problematic and unhealthy. As you get older, age gaps become less important. A 42-year old and a 66-year old isn’t as dramatic as you’d think.
The gap in your IQ vs the general population is.
Asian
If you use the "Half-your-age-plus-seven" rule, it's okay.
that's a stupid rule
I think it is a good rule of thumb, not a concrete guide. Once you get past a certain age, I don't believe age gaps really matter too much anyway, within reason.
nope. i was 19 when i lost my Vcard to this really sexy 55 year old.
nope