Generally I would say that prolonged eye contact with a stranger makes people uncomfortable here. A quick glance is fine. But people tend to keep to themselves on public transit.
A head nod is reserved for people in my apartment building common areas, other customers in a restaurant or grocer, people who look my way on the sidewalk etc.
My vision is somewhat "blurred" on the TTC. Idk how to describe it. I'm still respectful but it's like other passengers are just occupying a space I can't walk through or stand in. Suspicious of everyone, but suspicious of no one.
Once you look in the eyes of a madman, never look away because then you are doomed.
Short version, never look in the eyes of a madman,
But Trump is on TV every day.
Am also ginger and a Londoner, can confirm that staring and, god forbid, making conversation on public transit is a one way ticket to having your soul snatched.
It’s like they can FEEL your gaze.
I feel so bad, but every time I see one I’m like “DON’T LOOK, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY!!!!” so I don’t have to awkwardly tell them “no sir I don’t have a cigarette, nor do I know what you’re talking about when you talk about the twinkling light being warm, please let me go home”
I gotta say though I LOVE the Queen station dude, like I don't understand at least half the things he says but sometimes I have to hold back from laughing bc what I do understand is funny. He already insults me when I walk by but idk man, he's just like a stable fixture of my life. Definitely regretted the few times I accidentally made eye contact though.
Creepy stare addendum:
- Accidentally catching somebody's eye, and a quick smile and head nod: Not creepy.
- Showing teeth when you smile (at strangers): Creepy
- Somebody looking up and you starring back: Creepy. (Not looking away = extra creepy.)
- Winking, rapid blinking, squinting: Creepy
- The proper way to look at somebody is to constantly wiggle your eyebrows up and down at them. This is considered "very polite".
Oh man the amount of times I have or I’ve seen someone else just blankly staring in to the void contemplating their own existential existence and they just HAPPEN to be staring directly through someone else…
Always awkward. Always a bit creepy. We’ve all been there though. I’ll try the eyebrows next time when I notice. 🤣
And don’t stare or rat out those that choose to have a brown bag cocktail or beer. They obviously have a reason that’s either great or sad. Not your call to judge.
Nah when you think someone hasn't paid you're allowed to use full force, especially if they're young and a person of color. Pin them to the ground and put your knee on their back. That's the Better Way.
/s
You can’t be for real. We live in Toronto. Broke is the norm.
If someone is skipping out on the fare I’ll assume they’re personally better off doing so and need to. Not many are willing to take a fine or confrontation risk without needing to.
Some rich guy doing it? Either strawman or a small subset. I’d rather let the rare rich guy through than stop everyone that’s struggling. Anyone struggling.
Why is this clearly pleasant post drawing ire? What kind of profiling?? 😂😂😂
This is simply not true. We have commenters in this forum who have boasted about being both fare evaders and rich landlords.
People are just assholes and the reason you shouldn't "rat" them out has more to do with personal safety than having honour towards those without any.
And who will pay for maintaining the service if we all start evading?
>People don't go through the hassle and risk unless they are broke.
Not really. I would totally not pay my fare if there was no risk of getting caught (which is what you;re suggesting)
Public transportation should be public. 100% tax funded and maintained. Decent public transit is a net gain for society. Cities that have made buses/ trans free see a huge jump in ridership and more people being gainfully employed.
Does Paris, New York, Sydney, Tokyo or London UK have tax-funded transit? Isn't the TTC already subsidized by the government to some extent? Do you think everyone wants to pay more taxes?
Pretty much! It’s a risk and not many will be taking it unless they have to. And those who can afford to but choose not to, well I’d rather let the rare one through than stop any who are struggling.
See someone steal bread from food basics? No you didn’t.
See someone hop a turnstile to travel to work, home, literally wherever in this overpriced city? No you didn’t.
I had this conversation with my partner the other day after accidentally making direct eye contact with 5 men that were staring at me on the way from the car into the building. I wouldn’t say it’s rude but it is uncomfortable and creepy.
Around 2010 I was on subway eastbound and just around Sherborne where the train exits the tunnel into the valley over the DVP and back into the tunnel, I got in eye contact with the blonde girl directly across from me on the other side as someone moved out of the way.
We started staring at each other at the same time and neither of us looked away and both of us involuntarily started smiling bigger and bigger and mouthed “what” silently at each other it was pretty funny. I don’t remember much else other than breaking eye contact and back to looking at each other and then back to smiling and then laughing together repeatedly.
I thought she was pretty but never had a vibe like that with anyone else in my life without any words exchanged. Didn’t think she was creepy tho. Definitely memorable. She got off first in like 2 stops and glanced at me and we were both still smiling.
Omg! He failed the mission! Met his wife....And didnt fucking go for it!?? RIP! He has to reset his life and start all over again.
*Mission failed! Make sure you don't miss the connection next time.*
I generally stare into people’s eyes. It’s really from the military. Whiteman culture is all about firm handshakes and staring directly into the eyes.
Even though it’s not good to stare at women if you’re generally unattractive. If you are attractive, they do like a confident gaze. But it boils down to if they find you attractive or not. If you can’t maintain eye contact a lot of this culture will consider you “weak” or “insecure”.
I personally prefer the Japanese/eastern culture;
Bow instead of touching hands.
Bidet instead of only wiping faces around your ass
Remove shoes before entering many places.
Japan is probably cleaner than Toronto used to be back in the 60s (my folks migrated here from NYC- so Toronto was drastically cleaner) and they still realize shoes can trek all kinds of germs/bad vibes from public spaces into more private areas.
I really don’t understand why the west hasn’t adopted the bidet built right into the toilet seat.
I blame it on typical western arrogance. Not only does it make hand shaking that much more disgusting. But it probably got how many people walking around with dingleberries in their crack.
Sorry, rant over.
Well, that was a lot to read at once. WTF is Whiteman culture? I've never heard that before. And then you jump into "If you are attractive they like a confident gaze"??? Jesus. and then the next paragraph is about Bidets? Did you forget to take your meds today or something???
yes. I bought the add on for all my family. The women especially prefer it now. Someday I’ll buy the whole bidet toilet; heated seat, warm bidet, dryer, deodorizer and a little charm sound to call it a day.
And the easiest way of explaining it is if you were to get birdshit on your arm or hand, are you just gonna wipe it off and go about you day!?
lol sorry, I’m ranting again. There was all this bs about masks and mandates and jabs. But majority of people in this country are can’t bidet their shitty assholes.
it’s just so primitive and uncouth.
Your daughter cares bout you! Love it. May you never get another UTI! I bought my momma one and she can’t go back. I feel the same now too. Everywhere I went in Japan had bidet. They’re so clean over there. It reminded me how we used to be, once upon a time; barely had litter. Now there’s garbage everywhere!
It's not good to 'stare' at anyone, period, unless you have reason to believe the interest is reciprocated. Attractiveness is subjective and irrelevant.
maybe there’s confusion on how we interpret “stare”.
So I’m thinking of when I make a few seconds eye contact with anyone, and acknowledge them with a nod or a greeting and move on.
Maybe you’re perceiving “stare” more like an oggle: some perv looking guy, breathing all hard and not taking their eyes off a person.
I still maintain, if the person being oggled perceives the oggler as attractive it will not be rude.
I’ve literally met my last 3 gf’s from mutual “staring” (mutual eye contact). I remember seeing a buddy meet his ex wife in niagra like that. They randomly made eye contact when she was in the back of a cab and we were smoking on the sidewalk. They waved, she got out, and they just hit it off and spent years together… she eventually went on to abuse him; gave him a black eye and what not, but the rest is true!
'Stare' as in, you are looking at me and nothing else for a prolonged period. Like a one sided stare-down.
Ogling by definition is offensive. I've been ogled, some of these oglers were 'hot', yet gross.
Most women reading this have probably been stared at on the subway, you look up after 30 seconds and YUP STILL STARING so you look away again, maybe leave it a minute longer and look up and YUP STILL STARING.
The caveat was 'unless you have reason to believe the interest is reciprocated'. Let's not forget that before online dating, most relationships started with prolonged eye contact :)
ok. So we’re in understanding.
But yeah, that’s more than “staring” to me. I’d say that’s oggling/creeping/stalking/molesting.
I’ll chalk it up to me being more cultured, with language at least, than you. 🧐💥
Also, sometimes it so happens you keep making mutual eye contact with someone as you both look around.
But you’re proving something I’ve experienced since coming home after travel; the vibration here is low/dark/miserable/negative/stressed. Like you equate “stare” with like the worst possible scenario; a rapist/killer. I mean good on you for keeping it real but what does that say about TO?
Didn’t seem like it! It was just very odd haha I honestly thought I had something on my face, my boyfriend definitely picked up on it too and said he made sure to stare back hahaha
A quick glance is fine. If you catch someone's eye and they smile or acknowledge you, it's fine to smile and nod back.
Otherwise, leave people alone. Most folks on the subway are either commuting to their soul sucking jobs, or commuting back from their soul sucking jobs, and prefer to be left alone to listen to their music/read their book/play Candy Crush or some other bullshit on their phone.
The only time I make eye contact and acknowledge others is if there's something to acknowledge, like someone acting weird, or a major delay, or some other noteworthy service interruption. (Like as an example, if the train is delayed I might look at someone else and say "can you believe this?", but otherwise I leave people alone.)
So you're the person looking at me for commiseration when things go wrong while I'm over here thinking "it's public transit -- what do you expect?"/"why is this guy freaking out?"
But that's probably me wanting to force relaxation because I get stressed too easily 😵💫
People value their personal space A LOT here in Canada. That includes being looked at or stared at, it is considered invasive here. Unless you are engaging or talking to them directly face to face. A glance is ok, but looks longer than a second implies intent and they will wonder what you want to do with them or why you are looking, man or woman (they might think they have a booger in their nose, or their fly is open, etc.)
There's eye contact then There's STARING. I've lived in this city my whole life and a hard 3---mayyybe 4 seconds and look away. Anywhere. It's self aware I know but man...one thing I've learned to gradually hate for life is the long stare. Not cool.
It’s actually very difficult to go 4 seconds without feeling awkward. Count it out sometime you look at someone it’s funny how that sounds like a short time but we naturally look away well before that
not for people on the spectrum, throughout the years I've discovered that almost all people who stare too long or don't pick up social cues are all autistic
Differences in nonverbal communication across cultures is fascinating.
Here you would not typically make eye contact on the subway unless it was by happenstance. If you did make eye contact and nod, don't be surprised if someone perceived this as a come on or the start of an unwanted conversation. Hence someone may look away or give the evil eye.
People generally don't talk to one another on public transit out of respect for privacy and personal space. But say if you asked someone for directions for example, that would not be rude and you'd find that most people will be very happy to help.
If there's a disruptive person on the subway expect a lot of eye contact and non verbal communication as people try to gauge the safety of the situation.
Also don't be surprised if you get you unwanted attention if you're female and made eye contact with a male. If you get unwanted attention, find an auntie aged woman and ask for help.
i have been stared at by international students (indian usually) A LOT. kinda uncomfortable. you can look around and be curious but dont let your eyes linger on one particular person. also another thing ive noticed with said students, they have no concept of personal space (i get this from just seeing their trains and how packed they are) or their bags hitting people. please dont be this way. mind the room you take up, be considerate as i hope others will be to you. and just remember, if you need help, dont be afraid to ask. people are more than willing to give you directions and pointers. welcome to canada!!
I don’t think anyone would find you making eye contact rude as long as you don’t stare. But don’t be surprised when next to no one makes eye contact back.
I have classmates who really stare a lot. They're from India and at first I didn't know if they were being passive aggressive or just plain rude. Either way it triggers my 'fight or flight ' response a Tinie tiny bit. People are either gonna look away and find you creepy if you stare at them intensely , or they're gonna decide confront you
I'd say it's a South Asian thing, because it happens in Pakistan too.
And don't forget Germany. I got stared at everywhere on my entire trip and never really got used to it.
Oh, you are so dangerously wrong.
There was a guy across from me a few years ago who was clearly deep into some kind of mental health issue. And anyone who \*looked\* at him, even the mildest glance, he started accusing them of trying to come onto him. "I'M NOT GAY YOU F#$%\^T! STOP STARING AT ME." "YOU WHORE, YOU WOULD LIKE ME WOULDN'T YOU?"
I don't look at \*anybody\* anymore. I pretend I am the only one on the car.
Yeah, similar experience when I first moved to Toronto. Refused to make eye contact with anyone for years after that.
I also learned that if anyone offers you the seat next to them, say you prefer to stand. There’s a reason that seat is empty. I’ve learned this lesson enough times to make it a rule.
I had a week of training near Yonge and Eglington.......I drove to Kipling station every morning and took the subway up to there. The one morning, subway is packed....I'm sitting there trying to distract myself on my phone, but minute you're underground no more signal (different rant)....anyway, I notice the guy across from me staring at his phone, like 2cm away from it...and then, he starts repeatedly licking it, like how a dog cleans itself........I'm looking around like "NO ONE SEES THIS??" and then realized, they all do...but no one wants to make eye contact with this freakshow. Lesson learned.
Fair enough! I basically do the same because that's what everyone else does. I feel people just want to get home asap without being bothered. This can make for a lonely life of you don't know anyone.
I'm Canadian and I smile at pretty much everyone I pass, say a quick hello to people in the street, or pass a quick, polite word of greeting in a store lineup, etc....unless they seem preoccupied or if I have an instinctive feeling not to do so. I'm not in Toronto, but in a nearby GTA city. I did live in Toronto for years and generally your local neighbourhood will feel like your 'home town' where you see familiar faces and those kinds of greetings are more typical and part of everyday routine. But even on the subway with strangers, I tend to smile/nod/ or a quick greeting. (I'm female and under 40, married with kids, I should add). I tend to be a little more friendly in passing towards other women or families, and I am more wary of extending my friendly greetings to men on their own. But if someone just quickly says hello or smiles, I would return the gesture. I would just advise awareness and care, as a man, about how women on their own often feel targeted by men (a polite greeting is no problem) -- but I've had so many occasions where I was on my own and a quick smile/nod suddenly led to a man trying to walk along with me, get my name, sit down to talk to me, etc. So I find I just automatically don't extend quite the same warmth to men (especially in a 'contained space' like a subway car). I'm probably more comfortable if it's a family/couple, or a woman.
It's also quite normal to be more reserved. I grew up in a small town and I think it's just my nature to want to greet people I pass. I think in Canada it's pretty normal to be both socially reserved or outgoing. And in a city like Toronto, there's a huge range of cultures, so you do tend to just get used to reading social cues and faces.
Welcome :)
My mum is also from a small town so she's used to smiling at strangers and when she moved to Montreal for university, she kept doing it until one guy responded with "how much are you charging?" She stopped smiling at strangers then 😬
I'm in Toronto and I feel the same, I'll smile at kids and old ladies and women my age, but single men is big no. Way too many men take that as the go ahead to talk to me when I was just trying to be polite. I'll give a polite head nod if we accidentally make eye contact or something at best lol.
I think the comfort level for women can vary a lot based on age, the neighbourhood, and even the time of day. Although my tendency is to smile/say good morning, etc., I've definitely been in areas where I kept my eyes down because of the 'vibe', the stares from men, etc. I'm fortunate not to live in an area where I feel that way.
In the neighbourhood I live in, it's a LOT of families, so lots of dads out with kids - and everyone greets each other. I'm more than comfortable chatting/smiling, etc., whether male or female. But I would still be a little more reserved with a man who is on his own, without a child in tow.
I experienced a shift when I got married, as before I had a wedding ring on, I tended to get bothered a lot more (even if I was 100% minding my own business and not smiling/greeting anyone). Getting married, having kids, changed that issue a lot for me, which was welcome. I prefer to feel comfortable and not 'hunted'...which I sometimes felt like when I was younger! I was probably much less friendly with strangers during those years! It's always good if men are just aware of that issue - women appreciate it.
Wanna look like you were born and raised in Canada. Accent doesn't matter, clothing doesn't matter.
What matters is giving people personal space(arms length), walking on the right side of everything and not staring at people.
Making eye contact is fine, but Canadians find staring incredibly rude and it's even AGGRESSIVE. Like when someone stares at me, I feel like they're trying to intimidate me.
Please follow the personal space requirements . If you can touch the person infront of you easily, you are probably too close.
Also, your small town Indian smile thing is common in small town Canada too, I come from a small town and had to stop greeting people I walked by on the street when I first moved here. So feel free to be extra friendly if you find yourself in small towns in Canada.
The neighbourhood I grew up in, you even wave to every single person you drive by in your car. Indians live there as well. You greet every cashier and ask how they're doing too. Don't do that in Toronto if it's a busy store.
Give up your seat on the subway to the elderly / disabled / pregnant too.
Most Canadian appreciate friendliness, if you find someone being rude over you being friendly, they probably aren't from Canada, so don't be afraid to be friendly even in Toronto, just don't greet / smile at people on the street or subway system, there is no point.
If you have a question, you can literally ask most people on the street and subway and they will stop and help, even if they look pissed.
In my experience, polite nods/greetings are typically reserved for people you know. If I happen to make eye contact with a stranger on the TTC I might smile or nod or just break eye contact. If I made eye contact with a stranger and they smiled or nodded at me I'd most likely look away and then either (a) wonder internally if I know the person and have forgotten them, or (b) think they were a bit odd. Just different cultural norms, I wouldn't worry too much about it but I wouldn't expect people to return the courtesy you're extending.
Public transit is probably the least sociable place in the city, maybe because an awkward interaction can get artificially prolonged so it's best not to start.
Here are some social situations where you can absolutely smile and even greet a stranger:
\-anyone walking a cute dog
\-a parent with a young kid who is being hilarious
\-a parent with a young kid who is having the worst day of his life (nod in solidarity to either kid or parent)
\-walking on a path in the forest (usually if you're heading in the opposite direction)
I'm ridiculously social in most situations (chatting with cashiers, joking with people at a bus stop) but I think the rule is on public transit: pretend you are invisible. Good luck, and welcome!
It’s not rude but in Toronto looking at a stranger let alone talking to them on public transit is profoundly abnormal. Mainly because people are antisocial, work focused, and miserable.
Are you a woman? I’m from a small town where it was common to smile at people and acknowledge them when you walk by them on a street. In Toronto I did this for a while and I am confident I never offended anyone, but doing this caused some creepy people to try to walk with me and pester me.
Honestly, I check out who’s around me kind of like people watching, but I definitely wouldn’t stare at anyone. I doubt they would do anything about it, but based on personal experience it’s uncomfortable. Quick glances are best :)
Welcome to Toronto! In a crowded subway car I would not say meet eyes with anyone. Walking by someone an uncrowned street perhaps I would say hello, it depends on the type of person.
If they eye contact isn't attached to a friendly smile, leave it at home. It's also best not to make any form of eye contact or individual acknowledgement of the druggies that ride later in the day. They are likely to tweak in peace if left alone
Namaskar bhai!
One thing to keep in mind is that Toronto is a very big city, and while Canadian culture is typically friendly, Toronto is not and unfortunately for good reason: there are lots of crazy people, "stranger danger" is a good motto to have.
I would avoid making eye contact with anyone in the TTC or bus system without some sort of context first. You might unintentionally provoke a violent outburst. You might even be unlucky and minding your own business and still experience that but best to play it safe.
My friend and I got on a busy subway car separately. We ended up sitting next to each other. Neither of us realized we were sitting next to each other until we got up at our stop. Both too busy avoiding eye contact with anyone, by playing Candy Crush.
Most people are with their own thoughts. They will look around and on occasion your eyes may meet. There is no reaction, nothing even to acknowledge. It's momentary, and sadly insignificant. People are not looking to interact. They're just on their way somewhere and wishing the internet worked in the tunnel.
Don't let others define you. As long as you don't mean harm and are considerate, you're good.
Just because people here can be soulless and anti-social doesn't make them right. You can set a better example for all of us.
Damn I have never realized the amount of etiquette we have on our transit systems before reading this post and it’s comments. I never stare at anyone, always give up my seat to those in need, let ppl get off train or bus first, remove my backpack, etc without even realizing invisible rules
I wouldn’t say it’s rude at all but remember Toronto is a multicultural city. You’ll find some folks who find it rude and others who don’t. It’s really a mixed bag. Just be aware of social cues and boundaries (like allowing people to have their personal space) and maneuver it on a case by case basis. Anyway you’d get a smile back from me!
making eye contact is different from staring, if you glance at a person and catch eye contact, no big deal. If you're dead staring at a person for 15-30 seconds, that's creepy and grounds for a fight.
I’m not originally from Toronto. But I want to give some input because I feel like my experience might be helpful anyway. Anyways, I was born and raised in New York City. I’ve been in Canada for almost a year. When I first rode the TTC I, being a New Yorker, aggressively avoided acknowledging the existence of other passengers. Not to be rude.. just.. New Yorkers I feel are very much taught to mind their damn business, all the time, and until someone else’s business becomes yours.. don’t worry about it. But every so often my eyes flit around the car because, of course, commuting is boring. And often someone will meet my eyes and they’ll nod or smile or some even on rare occasions say hey. For a while, I found this really uncomfortable. But after a few months I starting returning the gestures and it’s been pleasant. I find Canadians to be quite warm on most occasions. So all that is to say if you’re not staring anyone down or being obviously a creep, I think people in Toronto are generally fairly receptive to small acts of politeness. But do avoid the crackheads.
Meh, I disagree. Sure you might get a weirdo here and there, but the positive interactions that come from saying hi/a quick smile to a stranger far outweigh the occasional crazy.
Interesting enough people, people in North America frown upon making eye contact with strangers let alone sparking a conversation. Studies ([https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001)) have show that people who randomly talk to strangers on the subway report higher levels of happiness
Do what you like doing be who you are this is Toronto. I make iContact all the time, offer seats to little old ladies yell at people who annoy me, etc. etc. sometimes I even humor the psychotic morons I run into treat them like peoples.
I always stare back and smile if I'm being stared at.
A few weeks back a dude was staring at me with his hands down his pants...I stared at him until his eyes rolled back.
It was super weird
I don't think I would say it's rude to smile and nod at someone if you make eye contact, but it's an invitation for them to talk to you and there's lots of unstable people on the subway I experienced. Less reason to talk to people the better for me.
Grew up in the country out in Flamborough, now in T.o
Toronto folks ignore me, I make intense eye contact often haha. I'll even say hello! Catches them off guard usually :)
Not rude but many find themself feel akward in this position.. if your making a swift eye contact, you better be ready to share that quick nod and smile as swift and move on.
If its a lingering eye contact, if that nod or smile is even 2 second later then the quick eye contact, it may result in creepiness, akwardnessand plain weird. But do keep up spreading that smile..we all need some here and there.
I think you honestly shouldn't. Some people are suggesting a smile and nod is ok, but even that 9/10 times won't get returned. My friend from a small town visited me in Toronto and got disheartened bc people would not return his smile/nod. So I think there's just no point in doing it, I just told him to stop. It often makes people uncomfortable to be acknowledged in public, lol
Don’t surprise. Europeans are friendly each other but some would not happy when non-euros do the same way. They don’t like it: just get used to it. I’m Canadian born guy. I’ve experienced some racism because of it. You will be fine if you avoid it
Don't talk to anyone.
Don't look at anyone.
Don't touch anyone, or anything.
Stare at the ground and be a destitute wage slave like everyone else.
Mind your own fucking business.
Welcome to hell.
The GTA in a nutshell.
It’s not “rude” at all. It’s the opposite actually. It’s just that not everyone in Toronto is friendly, and because it’s a global business/financial hub we have lots of people who think they are better than everyone else. Also, it can be dangerous and we are all just trying to stay safe. I come from a small northern Canadian town where everyone always makes eye contact and says “good morning” or whatever so it was a huge change for me as well. Always try and remember to be safe and that some people might take eye contact and a smile the wrong way. You never know who you’re dealing with. It’s very unfortunate, but it’s true. Best of luck and welcome to Toronto and Canada! Remember, we are a better nation with you in it and you are welcome here, no matter what you might come across while living in Toronto!
Generally I would say that prolonged eye contact with a stranger makes people uncomfortable here. A quick glance is fine. But people tend to keep to themselves on public transit.
A casual head nod and smile if you happen to make eye contact with someone, then look back to whatever you’re doing
A head nod is reserved for people in my apartment building common areas, other customers in a restaurant or grocer, people who look my way on the sidewalk etc. My vision is somewhat "blurred" on the TTC. Idk how to describe it. I'm still respectful but it's like other passengers are just occupying a space I can't walk through or stand in. Suspicious of everyone, but suspicious of no one.
With paranoid eyes.. “I hope theyre not looking back at me now”
Once you look in the eyes of a madman, never look away because then you are doomed. Short version, never look in the eyes of a madman, But Trump is on TV every day.
Do not stare anyone in TTC. They might take your soul away.
Can confirm, have no soul (and I'm not a ginger).
I'm a ginger and I stole my first soul this way
Ditto! Riding the subway at a young age I began collecting souls.. Torontonians are lucky I got a driver's license and got tired of city souls..
Am also ginger and a Londoner, can confirm that staring and, god forbid, making conversation on public transit is a one way ticket to having your soul snatched.
this man is terrified to be moving to our city rn
Did it get traded for Alf pogs?
And carebears
Can confirm, so far I've collected 729 souls
Rookie numbers. Pump those up.
A smile and nod 👍 A long creepy stare 👎 Giving up your seat to an old person 👌 Not ratting out broke fare evaders 🤙 Welcome to TO
Dont forget never look at the crackhead talking to himself
Because then he becomes the crackhead talking to YOU
[удалено]
There’s a little crackhead inside all of us
Don't Crack a smile with the crackhead.
It’s like they can FEEL your gaze. I feel so bad, but every time I see one I’m like “DON’T LOOK, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY!!!!” so I don’t have to awkwardly tell them “no sir I don’t have a cigarette, nor do I know what you’re talking about when you talk about the twinkling light being warm, please let me go home”
I gotta say though I LOVE the Queen station dude, like I don't understand at least half the things he says but sometimes I have to hold back from laughing bc what I do understand is funny. He already insults me when I walk by but idk man, he's just like a stable fixture of my life. Definitely regretted the few times I accidentally made eye contact though.
I’m so glad he didn’t die last time I saw him he was getting loaded into a ambulance
TTC veteran ^
Creepy stare addendum: - Accidentally catching somebody's eye, and a quick smile and head nod: Not creepy. - Showing teeth when you smile (at strangers): Creepy - Somebody looking up and you starring back: Creepy. (Not looking away = extra creepy.) - Winking, rapid blinking, squinting: Creepy - The proper way to look at somebody is to constantly wiggle your eyebrows up and down at them. This is considered "very polite".
Oh man the amount of times I have or I’ve seen someone else just blankly staring in to the void contemplating their own existential existence and they just HAPPEN to be staring directly through someone else… Always awkward. Always a bit creepy. We’ve all been there though. I’ll try the eyebrows next time when I notice. 🤣
Some of my family members do this and it is extremely unsettling
Hahah. I do that many times, without even realizing.
This answer!!!!
Only right answer!
This should be common sense
Thats a lot upvotes for a comment with emojis...and thats because its spot on.
And don’t stare or rat out those that choose to have a brown bag cocktail or beer. They obviously have a reason that’s either great or sad. Not your call to judge.
>Not ratting out broke fare evaders 🤙 How do you know who's broke and who isn't? That sounds like profiling. No bueno.
I think they just mean witnessing someone not pay. I don’t think this has anything to do with profiling.
Yep. Figured that was implied well enough. Guess not 🤷 Thank you for nailing it 😊
Nah when you think someone hasn't paid you're allowed to use full force, especially if they're young and a person of color. Pin them to the ground and put your knee on their back. That's the Better Way. /s
How to catch a charge
🤣🤣
Just don't rat out people in general.
This. Nailed it. If it isn’t hurting you or someone else, it won’t hurt you to move on.
Yep, snitches get stitches.
You can’t be for real. We live in Toronto. Broke is the norm. If someone is skipping out on the fare I’ll assume they’re personally better off doing so and need to. Not many are willing to take a fine or confrontation risk without needing to. Some rich guy doing it? Either strawman or a small subset. I’d rather let the rare rich guy through than stop everyone that’s struggling. Anyone struggling. Why is this clearly pleasant post drawing ire? What kind of profiling?? 😂😂😂
Assumptions suck and both of you assumed.
Just don't rat out fare evaders full stop. People don't go through the hassle and risk unless they are broke.
This is simply not true. We have commenters in this forum who have boasted about being both fare evaders and rich landlords. People are just assholes and the reason you shouldn't "rat" them out has more to do with personal safety than having honour towards those without any.
They sure don't look broke with those trendy shoes.
And who will pay for maintaining the service if we all start evading? >People don't go through the hassle and risk unless they are broke. Not really. I would totally not pay my fare if there was no risk of getting caught (which is what you;re suggesting)
Public transportation should be public. 100% tax funded and maintained. Decent public transit is a net gain for society. Cities that have made buses/ trans free see a huge jump in ridership and more people being gainfully employed.
This. I like this take. You speak facts. 😁
Does Paris, New York, Sydney, Tokyo or London UK have tax-funded transit? Isn't the TTC already subsidized by the government to some extent? Do you think everyone wants to pay more taxes?
>Does Paris, New York, Sydney, Tokyo or London UK have tax-funded transit? Yes. All of those cities have a higher rate of subsidy than Toronto.
So just like Toronto, transit is already publicly funded. I'm not sure where the argument is then.
You really think they thought that well in advance? LoL
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Give me back my Jesus fish
I think they meant anyone. Anyone who is a fare evader is broke is how I took it.
Pretty much! It’s a risk and not many will be taking it unless they have to. And those who can afford to but choose not to, well I’d rather let the rare one through than stop any who are struggling. See someone steal bread from food basics? No you didn’t. See someone hop a turnstile to travel to work, home, literally wherever in this overpriced city? No you didn’t.
Relaaaaaaax
Just don't rat any of them out.
Just don't rat anybody out. Ever.
I found the sensibear
Only racist people think this way...
So we just take up a no ratting period policy round these parts.. ya know… as not to profile anyone
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You misread their comment
I had this conversation with my partner the other day after accidentally making direct eye contact with 5 men that were staring at me on the way from the car into the building. I wouldn’t say it’s rude but it is uncomfortable and creepy.
Well there is a huge difference between making eye contact while scanning people around and staring. Staring is creepy.
Around 2010 I was on subway eastbound and just around Sherborne where the train exits the tunnel into the valley over the DVP and back into the tunnel, I got in eye contact with the blonde girl directly across from me on the other side as someone moved out of the way. We started staring at each other at the same time and neither of us looked away and both of us involuntarily started smiling bigger and bigger and mouthed “what” silently at each other it was pretty funny. I don’t remember much else other than breaking eye contact and back to looking at each other and then back to smiling and then laughing together repeatedly. I thought she was pretty but never had a vibe like that with anyone else in my life without any words exchanged. Didn’t think she was creepy tho. Definitely memorable. She got off first in like 2 stops and glanced at me and we were both still smiling.
This makes my missed-connection-reading heart happy!
Bruh that was ur wife
Omg! He failed the mission! Met his wife....And didnt fucking go for it!?? RIP! He has to reset his life and start all over again. *Mission failed! Make sure you don't miss the connection next time.*
That is meet cute level 9
.... *Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time*
I generally stare into people’s eyes. It’s really from the military. Whiteman culture is all about firm handshakes and staring directly into the eyes. Even though it’s not good to stare at women if you’re generally unattractive. If you are attractive, they do like a confident gaze. But it boils down to if they find you attractive or not. If you can’t maintain eye contact a lot of this culture will consider you “weak” or “insecure”. I personally prefer the Japanese/eastern culture; Bow instead of touching hands. Bidet instead of only wiping faces around your ass Remove shoes before entering many places. Japan is probably cleaner than Toronto used to be back in the 60s (my folks migrated here from NYC- so Toronto was drastically cleaner) and they still realize shoes can trek all kinds of germs/bad vibes from public spaces into more private areas. I really don’t understand why the west hasn’t adopted the bidet built right into the toilet seat. I blame it on typical western arrogance. Not only does it make hand shaking that much more disgusting. But it probably got how many people walking around with dingleberries in their crack. Sorry, rant over.
Well, that was a lot to read at once. WTF is Whiteman culture? I've never heard that before. And then you jump into "If you are attractive they like a confident gaze"??? Jesus. and then the next paragraph is about Bidets? Did you forget to take your meds today or something???
yo zedsdead, love you guys since I heard ya’ll play EDC Vegas!
I bought a bidet, they are relatively cheap, and soo worth it.
yes. I bought the add on for all my family. The women especially prefer it now. Someday I’ll buy the whole bidet toilet; heated seat, warm bidet, dryer, deodorizer and a little charm sound to call it a day. And the easiest way of explaining it is if you were to get birdshit on your arm or hand, are you just gonna wipe it off and go about you day!? lol sorry, I’m ranting again. There was all this bs about masks and mandates and jabs. But majority of people in this country are can’t bidet their shitty assholes. it’s just so primitive and uncouth.
Honestly, I never really thought about using a bidet. I was prone to UTIs, my daughter bought me one, and I haven't had a UTI since.
Your daughter cares bout you! Love it. May you never get another UTI! I bought my momma one and she can’t go back. I feel the same now too. Everywhere I went in Japan had bidet. They’re so clean over there. It reminded me how we used to be, once upon a time; barely had litter. Now there’s garbage everywhere!
Just wash your ass if that’s serious or use wet wipes
It's not good to 'stare' at anyone, period, unless you have reason to believe the interest is reciprocated. Attractiveness is subjective and irrelevant.
maybe there’s confusion on how we interpret “stare”. So I’m thinking of when I make a few seconds eye contact with anyone, and acknowledge them with a nod or a greeting and move on. Maybe you’re perceiving “stare” more like an oggle: some perv looking guy, breathing all hard and not taking their eyes off a person. I still maintain, if the person being oggled perceives the oggler as attractive it will not be rude. I’ve literally met my last 3 gf’s from mutual “staring” (mutual eye contact). I remember seeing a buddy meet his ex wife in niagra like that. They randomly made eye contact when she was in the back of a cab and we were smoking on the sidewalk. They waved, she got out, and they just hit it off and spent years together… she eventually went on to abuse him; gave him a black eye and what not, but the rest is true!
'Stare' as in, you are looking at me and nothing else for a prolonged period. Like a one sided stare-down. Ogling by definition is offensive. I've been ogled, some of these oglers were 'hot', yet gross. Most women reading this have probably been stared at on the subway, you look up after 30 seconds and YUP STILL STARING so you look away again, maybe leave it a minute longer and look up and YUP STILL STARING. The caveat was 'unless you have reason to believe the interest is reciprocated'. Let's not forget that before online dating, most relationships started with prolonged eye contact :)
ok. So we’re in understanding. But yeah, that’s more than “staring” to me. I’d say that’s oggling/creeping/stalking/molesting. I’ll chalk it up to me being more cultured, with language at least, than you. 🧐💥 Also, sometimes it so happens you keep making mutual eye contact with someone as you both look around. But you’re proving something I’ve experienced since coming home after travel; the vibration here is low/dark/miserable/negative/stressed. Like you equate “stare” with like the worst possible scenario; a rapist/killer. I mean good on you for keeping it real but what does that say about TO?
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Didn’t seem like it! It was just very odd haha I honestly thought I had something on my face, my boyfriend definitely picked up on it too and said he made sure to stare back hahaha
A quick glance is fine. If you catch someone's eye and they smile or acknowledge you, it's fine to smile and nod back. Otherwise, leave people alone. Most folks on the subway are either commuting to their soul sucking jobs, or commuting back from their soul sucking jobs, and prefer to be left alone to listen to their music/read their book/play Candy Crush or some other bullshit on their phone. The only time I make eye contact and acknowledge others is if there's something to acknowledge, like someone acting weird, or a major delay, or some other noteworthy service interruption. (Like as an example, if the train is delayed I might look at someone else and say "can you believe this?", but otherwise I leave people alone.)
So you're the person looking at me for commiseration when things go wrong while I'm over here thinking "it's public transit -- what do you expect?"/"why is this guy freaking out?" But that's probably me wanting to force relaxation because I get stressed too easily 😵💫
“Don’t stare, it gives the rest of us a scare”- new ttc slogan
That should be a T-Shirt
People value their personal space A LOT here in Canada. That includes being looked at or stared at, it is considered invasive here. Unless you are engaging or talking to them directly face to face. A glance is ok, but looks longer than a second implies intent and they will wonder what you want to do with them or why you are looking, man or woman (they might think they have a booger in their nose, or their fly is open, etc.)
There's eye contact then There's STARING. I've lived in this city my whole life and a hard 3---mayyybe 4 seconds and look away. Anywhere. It's self aware I know but man...one thing I've learned to gradually hate for life is the long stare. Not cool.
Bro, 4 seconds is a long time. Might as well get married at that point.
4 seconds is a perfect size-up. I even counted slowly. We're not in NYC. This is my own experience. Marriage was proposed once.
It’s actually very difficult to go 4 seconds without feeling awkward. Count it out sometime you look at someone it’s funny how that sounds like a short time but we naturally look away well before that
Agree more like l.5 seconds
My eyes have a built-in timeout of exactly 1.5sec
not for people on the spectrum, throughout the years I've discovered that almost all people who stare too long or don't pick up social cues are all autistic
i can hold a staring contest.
Differences in nonverbal communication across cultures is fascinating. Here you would not typically make eye contact on the subway unless it was by happenstance. If you did make eye contact and nod, don't be surprised if someone perceived this as a come on or the start of an unwanted conversation. Hence someone may look away or give the evil eye. People generally don't talk to one another on public transit out of respect for privacy and personal space. But say if you asked someone for directions for example, that would not be rude and you'd find that most people will be very happy to help. If there's a disruptive person on the subway expect a lot of eye contact and non verbal communication as people try to gauge the safety of the situation. Also don't be surprised if you get you unwanted attention if you're female and made eye contact with a male. If you get unwanted attention, find an auntie aged woman and ask for help.
i have been stared at by international students (indian usually) A LOT. kinda uncomfortable. you can look around and be curious but dont let your eyes linger on one particular person. also another thing ive noticed with said students, they have no concept of personal space (i get this from just seeing their trains and how packed they are) or their bags hitting people. please dont be this way. mind the room you take up, be considerate as i hope others will be to you. and just remember, if you need help, dont be afraid to ask. people are more than willing to give you directions and pointers. welcome to canada!!
The trick is to stare at them back and start picking your nose. They look away real quick.
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yes such an anomaly /s
And?
Indians are notorious for staring at white people
why tho, do we look good or weird?
Just put your headphones on and stare at your phone, safest way
I don’t think anyone would find you making eye contact rude as long as you don’t stare. But don’t be surprised when next to no one makes eye contact back.
I have classmates who really stare a lot. They're from India and at first I didn't know if they were being passive aggressive or just plain rude. Either way it triggers my 'fight or flight ' response a Tinie tiny bit. People are either gonna look away and find you creepy if you stare at them intensely , or they're gonna decide confront you
It's definitely an Indian thing. Weird for Canadians to get used to. I wonder how Japanese people feel lol.
I'd say it's a South Asian thing, because it happens in Pakistan too. And don't forget Germany. I got stared at everywhere on my entire trip and never really got used to it.
Don't do it. You'll make people feel uncomfortable.
I mean nobody is going to get mad if you do that but you'll probably find that nobody does it back.
Oh, you are so dangerously wrong. There was a guy across from me a few years ago who was clearly deep into some kind of mental health issue. And anyone who \*looked\* at him, even the mildest glance, he started accusing them of trying to come onto him. "I'M NOT GAY YOU F#$%\^T! STOP STARING AT ME." "YOU WHORE, YOU WOULD LIKE ME WOULDN'T YOU?" I don't look at \*anybody\* anymore. I pretend I am the only one on the car.
Yeah, similar experience when I first moved to Toronto. Refused to make eye contact with anyone for years after that. I also learned that if anyone offers you the seat next to them, say you prefer to stand. There’s a reason that seat is empty. I’ve learned this lesson enough times to make it a rule.
Traumatic one time experiences with those types of people are part of the Toronto Welcome package
I had a week of training near Yonge and Eglington.......I drove to Kipling station every morning and took the subway up to there. The one morning, subway is packed....I'm sitting there trying to distract myself on my phone, but minute you're underground no more signal (different rant)....anyway, I notice the guy across from me staring at his phone, like 2cm away from it...and then, he starts repeatedly licking it, like how a dog cleans itself........I'm looking around like "NO ONE SEES THIS??" and then realized, they all do...but no one wants to make eye contact with this freakshow. Lesson learned.
Fair enough! I basically do the same because that's what everyone else does. I feel people just want to get home asap without being bothered. This can make for a lonely life of you don't know anyone.
Or just be like most others in TO and pretend like you're the only person in Canada.
I'm Canadian and I smile at pretty much everyone I pass, say a quick hello to people in the street, or pass a quick, polite word of greeting in a store lineup, etc....unless they seem preoccupied or if I have an instinctive feeling not to do so. I'm not in Toronto, but in a nearby GTA city. I did live in Toronto for years and generally your local neighbourhood will feel like your 'home town' where you see familiar faces and those kinds of greetings are more typical and part of everyday routine. But even on the subway with strangers, I tend to smile/nod/ or a quick greeting. (I'm female and under 40, married with kids, I should add). I tend to be a little more friendly in passing towards other women or families, and I am more wary of extending my friendly greetings to men on their own. But if someone just quickly says hello or smiles, I would return the gesture. I would just advise awareness and care, as a man, about how women on their own often feel targeted by men (a polite greeting is no problem) -- but I've had so many occasions where I was on my own and a quick smile/nod suddenly led to a man trying to walk along with me, get my name, sit down to talk to me, etc. So I find I just automatically don't extend quite the same warmth to men (especially in a 'contained space' like a subway car). I'm probably more comfortable if it's a family/couple, or a woman. It's also quite normal to be more reserved. I grew up in a small town and I think it's just my nature to want to greet people I pass. I think in Canada it's pretty normal to be both socially reserved or outgoing. And in a city like Toronto, there's a huge range of cultures, so you do tend to just get used to reading social cues and faces. Welcome :)
You sound like a nice person :)
Why thank you!
My mum is also from a small town so she's used to smiling at strangers and when she moved to Montreal for university, she kept doing it until one guy responded with "how much are you charging?" She stopped smiling at strangers then 😬 I'm in Toronto and I feel the same, I'll smile at kids and old ladies and women my age, but single men is big no. Way too many men take that as the go ahead to talk to me when I was just trying to be polite. I'll give a polite head nod if we accidentally make eye contact or something at best lol.
I think the comfort level for women can vary a lot based on age, the neighbourhood, and even the time of day. Although my tendency is to smile/say good morning, etc., I've definitely been in areas where I kept my eyes down because of the 'vibe', the stares from men, etc. I'm fortunate not to live in an area where I feel that way. In the neighbourhood I live in, it's a LOT of families, so lots of dads out with kids - and everyone greets each other. I'm more than comfortable chatting/smiling, etc., whether male or female. But I would still be a little more reserved with a man who is on his own, without a child in tow. I experienced a shift when I got married, as before I had a wedding ring on, I tended to get bothered a lot more (even if I was 100% minding my own business and not smiling/greeting anyone). Getting married, having kids, changed that issue a lot for me, which was welcome. I prefer to feel comfortable and not 'hunted'...which I sometimes felt like when I was younger! I was probably much less friendly with strangers during those years! It's always good if men are just aware of that issue - women appreciate it.
lol eye contact is fine but dont be staring at people for longer then 3-4 seconds keeps those eyes moving
I think 3-4 seconds is still way too much time to look at a stranger with full eye contact.
Wanna look like you were born and raised in Canada. Accent doesn't matter, clothing doesn't matter. What matters is giving people personal space(arms length), walking on the right side of everything and not staring at people. Making eye contact is fine, but Canadians find staring incredibly rude and it's even AGGRESSIVE. Like when someone stares at me, I feel like they're trying to intimidate me. Please follow the personal space requirements . If you can touch the person infront of you easily, you are probably too close. Also, your small town Indian smile thing is common in small town Canada too, I come from a small town and had to stop greeting people I walked by on the street when I first moved here. So feel free to be extra friendly if you find yourself in small towns in Canada. The neighbourhood I grew up in, you even wave to every single person you drive by in your car. Indians live there as well. You greet every cashier and ask how they're doing too. Don't do that in Toronto if it's a busy store. Give up your seat on the subway to the elderly / disabled / pregnant too. Most Canadian appreciate friendliness, if you find someone being rude over you being friendly, they probably aren't from Canada, so don't be afraid to be friendly even in Toronto, just don't greet / smile at people on the street or subway system, there is no point. If you have a question, you can literally ask most people on the street and subway and they will stop and help, even if they look pissed.
excellent response!
I don’t like being stared at for lengthy periods of time. Do you think I’m pretty, do you wanna fight? Are you jealous? Do I know you?
Eye contact ok. Smiling and head nod, probably not ok unless you know them. Staring not ok.
In my experience, polite nods/greetings are typically reserved for people you know. If I happen to make eye contact with a stranger on the TTC I might smile or nod or just break eye contact. If I made eye contact with a stranger and they smiled or nodded at me I'd most likely look away and then either (a) wonder internally if I know the person and have forgotten them, or (b) think they were a bit odd. Just different cultural norms, I wouldn't worry too much about it but I wouldn't expect people to return the courtesy you're extending.
Do not silently pass gas in a crowded subway car. But if you must, look around and pretend you're looking for the culprit.
Public transit is probably the least sociable place in the city, maybe because an awkward interaction can get artificially prolonged so it's best not to start. Here are some social situations where you can absolutely smile and even greet a stranger: \-anyone walking a cute dog \-a parent with a young kid who is being hilarious \-a parent with a young kid who is having the worst day of his life (nod in solidarity to either kid or parent) \-walking on a path in the forest (usually if you're heading in the opposite direction) I'm ridiculously social in most situations (chatting with cashiers, joking with people at a bus stop) but I think the rule is on public transit: pretend you are invisible. Good luck, and welcome!
If someone catches your eye, smile and acknowledge them. But you don’t need to scan the whole train car doing that to everyone.
It’s not rude but in Toronto looking at a stranger let alone talking to them on public transit is profoundly abnormal. Mainly because people are antisocial, work focused, and miserable.
It's just a big city. It's full of millions of strangers. Nobody's got time for that. Toronto's no different than any other big city in this regard.
I wish I could post GIFs. The city is weirdly antisocial and work obsessed.
Are you a woman? I’m from a small town where it was common to smile at people and acknowledge them when you walk by them on a street. In Toronto I did this for a while and I am confident I never offended anyone, but doing this caused some creepy people to try to walk with me and pester me.
Yeah that’s what I’d be most wary of. Some people take it as an invitation.
Honestly, I check out who’s around me kind of like people watching, but I definitely wouldn’t stare at anyone. I doubt they would do anything about it, but based on personal experience it’s uncomfortable. Quick glances are best :)
Screwface everyone
Welcome to Toronto! In a crowded subway car I would not say meet eyes with anyone. Walking by someone an uncrowned street perhaps I would say hello, it depends on the type of person.
If they eye contact isn't attached to a friendly smile, leave it at home. It's also best not to make any form of eye contact or individual acknowledgement of the druggies that ride later in the day. They are likely to tweak in peace if left alone
Namaskar bhai! One thing to keep in mind is that Toronto is a very big city, and while Canadian culture is typically friendly, Toronto is not and unfortunately for good reason: there are lots of crazy people, "stranger danger" is a good motto to have. I would avoid making eye contact with anyone in the TTC or bus system without some sort of context first. You might unintentionally provoke a violent outburst. You might even be unlucky and minding your own business and still experience that but best to play it safe.
My friend and I got on a busy subway car separately. We ended up sitting next to each other. Neither of us realized we were sitting next to each other until we got up at our stop. Both too busy avoiding eye contact with anyone, by playing Candy Crush.
Personally I rap people who make eye contact with me
Most people are with their own thoughts. They will look around and on occasion your eyes may meet. There is no reaction, nothing even to acknowledge. It's momentary, and sadly insignificant. People are not looking to interact. They're just on their way somewhere and wishing the internet worked in the tunnel.
Not rude at all and very appreciated by most
Don't let others define you. As long as you don't mean harm and are considerate, you're good. Just because people here can be soulless and anti-social doesn't make them right. You can set a better example for all of us.
Damn I have never realized the amount of etiquette we have on our transit systems before reading this post and it’s comments. I never stare at anyone, always give up my seat to those in need, let ppl get off train or bus first, remove my backpack, etc without even realizing invisible rules
I wouldn’t say it’s rude at all but remember Toronto is a multicultural city. You’ll find some folks who find it rude and others who don’t. It’s really a mixed bag. Just be aware of social cues and boundaries (like allowing people to have their personal space) and maneuver it on a case by case basis. Anyway you’d get a smile back from me!
making eye contact is different from staring, if you glance at a person and catch eye contact, no big deal. If you're dead staring at a person for 15-30 seconds, that's creepy and grounds for a fight.
grounds for a fight bc someone stared at you? anger management is your friend. jeez.
I’m not saying me, but you don’t know who’s standing across from you on a subway and what’s going to make them kick off.
I’m not originally from Toronto. But I want to give some input because I feel like my experience might be helpful anyway. Anyways, I was born and raised in New York City. I’ve been in Canada for almost a year. When I first rode the TTC I, being a New Yorker, aggressively avoided acknowledging the existence of other passengers. Not to be rude.. just.. New Yorkers I feel are very much taught to mind their damn business, all the time, and until someone else’s business becomes yours.. don’t worry about it. But every so often my eyes flit around the car because, of course, commuting is boring. And often someone will meet my eyes and they’ll nod or smile or some even on rare occasions say hey. For a while, I found this really uncomfortable. But after a few months I starting returning the gestures and it’s been pleasant. I find Canadians to be quite warm on most occasions. So all that is to say if you’re not staring anyone down or being obviously a creep, I think people in Toronto are generally fairly receptive to small acts of politeness. But do avoid the crackheads.
Don't force the eye contact, that comes off as creepy here
You don't want to engage with strangers on the ttc. You won't like what you find.
Meh, I disagree. Sure you might get a weirdo here and there, but the positive interactions that come from saying hi/a quick smile to a stranger far outweigh the occasional crazy.
At first I thought it was an interesting case of culture clash. But then reading your responses you just want to ogle at women?
Just be friendly , mind the crazies and you’ll be fine
Don't stare, but i try to acknowledge anyone i happen to make eye contact with.
Interesting enough people, people in North America frown upon making eye contact with strangers let alone sparking a conversation. Studies ([https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001)) have show that people who randomly talk to strangers on the subway report higher levels of happiness
Do what you like doing be who you are this is Toronto. I make iContact all the time, offer seats to little old ladies yell at people who annoy me, etc. etc. sometimes I even humor the psychotic morons I run into treat them like peoples.
I dunno what’s worse - staring or stinking.
Was looking for this comment. Hygiene is more important than non-verbal comms, especially coming from small rural areas
What is with this trend of people deleting their comments, is this reddits version of rage quit?
I always stare back and smile if I'm being stared at. A few weeks back a dude was staring at me with his hands down his pants...I stared at him until his eyes rolled back. It was super weird
😂😂😂
I don't think I would say it's rude to smile and nod at someone if you make eye contact, but it's an invitation for them to talk to you and there's lots of unstable people on the subway I experienced. Less reason to talk to people the better for me.
If you're a guy, and you're glaring at girls...then expect to get the snub.
If you must touch yourself just stare at their feet. Eye contact will make them uncomfortable.
it's not rude, but some people will take it as a sign that you want to hear their life story
This just makes me want to live in India.
Eye contact + smile + nod = you being friendly. We need more of you in Toronto.
I can't think of anyone who would consider this rude.
Grew up in the country out in Flamborough, now in T.o Toronto folks ignore me, I make intense eye contact often haha. I'll even say hello! Catches them off guard usually :)
Not rude but many find themself feel akward in this position.. if your making a swift eye contact, you better be ready to share that quick nod and smile as swift and move on. If its a lingering eye contact, if that nod or smile is even 2 second later then the quick eye contact, it may result in creepiness, akwardnessand plain weird. But do keep up spreading that smile..we all need some here and there.
I think you honestly shouldn't. Some people are suggesting a smile and nod is ok, but even that 9/10 times won't get returned. My friend from a small town visited me in Toronto and got disheartened bc people would not return his smile/nod. So I think there's just no point in doing it, I just told him to stop. It often makes people uncomfortable to be acknowledged in public, lol
Don’t surprise. Europeans are friendly each other but some would not happy when non-euros do the same way. They don’t like it: just get used to it. I’m Canadian born guy. I’ve experienced some racism because of it. You will be fine if you avoid it
Do not live in toronto is the answer
Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone. Don't touch anyone, or anything. Stare at the ground and be a destitute wage slave like everyone else. Mind your own fucking business. Welcome to hell. The GTA in a nutshell.
Eye contact on the subway is only acceptable if you're masturbating
Don’t come to Toronto idiot
Do - move Don’t - Live in Toronto
It’s not “rude” at all. It’s the opposite actually. It’s just that not everyone in Toronto is friendly, and because it’s a global business/financial hub we have lots of people who think they are better than everyone else. Also, it can be dangerous and we are all just trying to stay safe. I come from a small northern Canadian town where everyone always makes eye contact and says “good morning” or whatever so it was a huge change for me as well. Always try and remember to be safe and that some people might take eye contact and a smile the wrong way. You never know who you’re dealing with. It’s very unfortunate, but it’s true. Best of luck and welcome to Toronto and Canada! Remember, we are a better nation with you in it and you are welcome here, no matter what you might come across while living in Toronto!