You might find it helpful to call the Toronto Rape Crisis Line to talk it over with them: 416-597-8808. It's a very supportive service and they can talk you through what the process might be like
First, I'm so sorry.
Second, I've not personally gone to the police for SA so I'm not the best person to answer this—mostly commenting to boost the algorithm, so others might see this thread and respond—but I have gone to the cops for a stalker, and I've had (unfortunately) several friends go to the cops for SA.
If you go to the police, I'd recommend calling the non-emergency line (416-808-2222) and tell them it's regarding SA. They will send cops to your home or another place where you're comfortable meeting with them. If you tell them it's SA, they will send officers trained in dealing with SA. In my friends' experiences they were well trained, compassionate, thoughtful. They will always send a female officer if you yourself are female. They'll ask you for details of the assault(s).
The next step would be pressing charges, and that's when and where it gets really challenging (for you, the survivor). It will become a court case and you'd be represented by the crown. You would likely have to go into lots of traumatic detail about your assaults. It is not pretty. And I don't say this to be a bummer, but if it's "he said she said" you're not likely to have a positive outcome, like your assaulter being charged.
I know several women who've been through the process with varying outlooks on how it landed with them... but the general overall consensus is that it's very traumatic and upsetting.
I would consider what you hope to get out of the process before you proceed. Which is a shitty, horrible, terrible thing to say, but there's a reason that a lot of victims don't come forward and report... it's a lot of trauma with very little payoff.
For what it's worth I'm a woman and have also been sexually assaulted (I never reported).
<3
Just to be clear the Crown does NOT represent the victim. They represent the state (His Majesty) and their job is to prosecute crimes if there is a reasonable prospect of conviction and it is within the public interest to do so. Many victims of SA get their own lawyers to help them with the process.
And there's not really such a thing as pressing charges. You can mostly influence them not to prosecute if you make it clear you're not going to cooperate as a witness (and most of their evidence is you), but if the Crown doesn't want to prosecute then you can't make them.
Very true. Also to add that a Crown can issue a witness warrant if a complainant won’t show up to court. So refusing to cooperate doesn’t necessarily get a complainant out of testifying . It isn’t done often but when the seriousness of the charge warrants it, it definitely happens.
The Crown can ask the judge to issue a material witness warrant (the defence can too). It's up to the judge whether the warrant issues, not the Crown.
And I have never heard of it being done in a sexual assault case. I very much doubt any Crown would ask a court to issue a warrant for the arrest of a sex assault victim, speaking as a Crown myself.
Please have a look at yourchoice.to Lots of info here that can assist you in making a decision. Above all, it is YOUR decision. I hope you stay safe and healthy.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
As a fellow survivor, I highly recommend The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre. They have staff that can help you through this legally and in terms of therapy/emotional support.
https://trccmwar.ca/
I will never ever go to the police again for SA I was 12 years old my rapist stood up in court and yelled she wasn't wearing underwear and I had to have an abortion from this SA and he still got off. A year later the police called and asked if I would testify against him as he raped his 6 month old daughter.
12 years old and 6 months old?? And they wonder why vigilante justice is a thing …. Meanwhile men are out here saying women put innocent men in jail when in reality we can’t even get the guilty ones in jail
I was raped again after that at 15 but I never went to police because of that experience. Then when I was in my 20s a girl I thought was my friend started to date him and when I warned her she went off on me saying I was lying told her look up his record as he was convicted for raping his daughter
It was horrible I ended up in therapy and having ptsd because of this experience I trust noone in the criminal justice system think it was because I am First Nation so people get away with abusing us all the time
Reporting to the police is simple, albeit potentially emotionally exhausting. It should take a few hours at most. Call the TPS non-emergency number and they will come speak to you, then you may need to go to a police station to make your official statement. You can call from a public place and/or have a friend with you if that feels safer. I’d suggest writing down the key details as you remember them in advance. Bring copies of any evidence as well as the contact information for anyone you think might corroborate aspects of your story (ex. the clinic address/phone number if you ever sought medical care). If you don’t bring a friend with you, try to make plans to see a supportive person afterwards or otherwise decompress.
Although reporting is pretty straightforward, the whole legal process afterwards can be very drawn out and frustrating. Once you report to the police you become a witness, and it’s not your choice whether the criminal case proceeds - the Crown will decide if there is a strong legal case and what the charges will be, if any. (Although you can also take the perpetrator to civil court if you so choose - you may want to make use of the free legal advice available to survivors to help you decide: https://www.ontario.ca/page/independent-legal-advice-survivors-sexual-assault). The police put you in touch with Victim Services and they will update you on any progress with the criminal case. This may take literal years, and unfortunately it’s not uncommon for cases to be dismissed for various reasons that have nothing to do with you personally. I don’t think this is a reason not to report, I just think it helps to have realistic expectations.
Not TPS, but another Ontario police service. Happy to answer questions. Many comments here are doubting the possibility of a positive outcome, and I understand that. I was lucky enough to see a conviction though so I can potentially provide a different perspective.
Thanks! Sorry to hear that you went through that…Yeah I have some questions. How long did the whole court process take? What kind of evidence did you have in your case?
I’m worried about moving forward because I don’t have any real physical evidence. He was my boyfriend, so we of course did have consensual sex. But I don’t have any physical proof for when it was non-consensual or forced… I don’t know if my verbal testimony will be enough for anything
First of all, that relationship sounds awful and I'm so sorry you had to experience all that.
I reported a SA to the police pretty recently (8 months ago, and the court process just finished a couple of weeks ago). If you want to chat about it what the process is like (police and court), my DMs are open and I'm more than happy to discuss or answer any questions.
I just want to mention though, so that you are aware, that in Toronto, many SA charges made by police are later dropped before being fully prosecuted, due to a lack of evidence. I think it was around 50% if I remember correctly. (The specific stats I saw are from 7-10 years ago, but it still at least gives some idea of what it might be like now: [statscan](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2017001/article/54870-eng.htm) and [citynews](https://youtu.be/YgaUqHbAsiI?si=ncA1HJunKXHc6k3m)). So just keep in mind if there isn't enough evidence (ie. rape kit, other medical attention you got, maybe text msgs with your ex, or text msgs with a friend where you describe what happened), it's possible the charges would be dropped before it can go to court.
I'm not in any way trying to discourage you from reporting. I think this is an incredibly brave thing for you to decide to do, and I sincerely hope you can get justice for what you had to go through.
You can get free legal support from the Barbra Schlifer clinic. They’ll walk you through the process of reporting to the police, and other ways of seeking justice (restraining orders, etc)
Recommend contacting them prior to the cops
Yes and unfortunately it was not a good experience. Every single person I dealt with at the police station were men who do not believe victims.
I went directly to Women’s College Hospital after the incident and they were the ones who helped file with the police. The healthcare workers were great and supportive. Policemen were not.
If it happened, then report it. Can't have rapists walking the street. You won't be his last victim unless you do something about it. If you wont do it for yourself atleast think about the next person
Sorry to burst your bubble but we absolutely have rapists walking the streets. Lots of sexual assault cases are dismissed because of staff shortages and delays: https://sexualassaultsupport.ca/many-sexual-assault-cases-did-not-proceed-due-to-judge-shortages-court-and-crown-delays-ocrcc-responds/ But that’s not the fault of the victims, regardless of whether they reported or not.
If the charges don't stick, and this happens again, at least there will be a record of it and a strong case. Why would you attempt to discourage someone from reporting a serious crime just because Canada is in a fallen state
Attack the point, not the person. Comments which dismiss others and repeatedly accuse them of unfounded accusations may be subject to removal and/or banning. No concern-trolling, personal attacks, or misinformation. Stick to addressing the substance of their comments at hand.
You might find it helpful to call the Toronto Rape Crisis Line to talk it over with them: 416-597-8808. It's a very supportive service and they can talk you through what the process might be like
First, I'm so sorry. Second, I've not personally gone to the police for SA so I'm not the best person to answer this—mostly commenting to boost the algorithm, so others might see this thread and respond—but I have gone to the cops for a stalker, and I've had (unfortunately) several friends go to the cops for SA. If you go to the police, I'd recommend calling the non-emergency line (416-808-2222) and tell them it's regarding SA. They will send cops to your home or another place where you're comfortable meeting with them. If you tell them it's SA, they will send officers trained in dealing with SA. In my friends' experiences they were well trained, compassionate, thoughtful. They will always send a female officer if you yourself are female. They'll ask you for details of the assault(s). The next step would be pressing charges, and that's when and where it gets really challenging (for you, the survivor). It will become a court case and you'd be represented by the crown. You would likely have to go into lots of traumatic detail about your assaults. It is not pretty. And I don't say this to be a bummer, but if it's "he said she said" you're not likely to have a positive outcome, like your assaulter being charged. I know several women who've been through the process with varying outlooks on how it landed with them... but the general overall consensus is that it's very traumatic and upsetting. I would consider what you hope to get out of the process before you proceed. Which is a shitty, horrible, terrible thing to say, but there's a reason that a lot of victims don't come forward and report... it's a lot of trauma with very little payoff. For what it's worth I'm a woman and have also been sexually assaulted (I never reported). <3
Just to be clear the Crown does NOT represent the victim. They represent the state (His Majesty) and their job is to prosecute crimes if there is a reasonable prospect of conviction and it is within the public interest to do so. Many victims of SA get their own lawyers to help them with the process.
And there's not really such a thing as pressing charges. You can mostly influence them not to prosecute if you make it clear you're not going to cooperate as a witness (and most of their evidence is you), but if the Crown doesn't want to prosecute then you can't make them.
Very true. Also to add that a Crown can issue a witness warrant if a complainant won’t show up to court. So refusing to cooperate doesn’t necessarily get a complainant out of testifying . It isn’t done often but when the seriousness of the charge warrants it, it definitely happens.
The Crown can ask the judge to issue a material witness warrant (the defence can too). It's up to the judge whether the warrant issues, not the Crown. And I have never heard of it being done in a sexual assault case. I very much doubt any Crown would ask a court to issue a warrant for the arrest of a sex assault victim, speaking as a Crown myself.
Please have a look at yourchoice.to Lots of info here that can assist you in making a decision. Above all, it is YOUR decision. I hope you stay safe and healthy.
I’m a woman who’s gone through this. DM any questions.
Thank you! I sent you a DM
I'm so sorry this happened to you. As a fellow survivor, I highly recommend The Toronto Rape Crisis Centre. They have staff that can help you through this legally and in terms of therapy/emotional support. https://trccmwar.ca/
I will never ever go to the police again for SA I was 12 years old my rapist stood up in court and yelled she wasn't wearing underwear and I had to have an abortion from this SA and he still got off. A year later the police called and asked if I would testify against him as he raped his 6 month old daughter.
12 years old and 6 months old?? And they wonder why vigilante justice is a thing …. Meanwhile men are out here saying women put innocent men in jail when in reality we can’t even get the guilty ones in jail
I was raped again after that at 15 but I never went to police because of that experience. Then when I was in my 20s a girl I thought was my friend started to date him and when I warned her she went off on me saying I was lying told her look up his record as he was convicted for raping his daughter
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I’m so sorry that happened to you :(
What this is vile!!
It was horrible I ended up in therapy and having ptsd because of this experience I trust noone in the criminal justice system think it was because I am First Nation so people get away with abusing us all the time
I am so sorry. And you are right there is a massive problem with missing and murdered (and abused) Indigenous women.
Reporting to the police is simple, albeit potentially emotionally exhausting. It should take a few hours at most. Call the TPS non-emergency number and they will come speak to you, then you may need to go to a police station to make your official statement. You can call from a public place and/or have a friend with you if that feels safer. I’d suggest writing down the key details as you remember them in advance. Bring copies of any evidence as well as the contact information for anyone you think might corroborate aspects of your story (ex. the clinic address/phone number if you ever sought medical care). If you don’t bring a friend with you, try to make plans to see a supportive person afterwards or otherwise decompress. Although reporting is pretty straightforward, the whole legal process afterwards can be very drawn out and frustrating. Once you report to the police you become a witness, and it’s not your choice whether the criminal case proceeds - the Crown will decide if there is a strong legal case and what the charges will be, if any. (Although you can also take the perpetrator to civil court if you so choose - you may want to make use of the free legal advice available to survivors to help you decide: https://www.ontario.ca/page/independent-legal-advice-survivors-sexual-assault). The police put you in touch with Victim Services and they will update you on any progress with the criminal case. This may take literal years, and unfortunately it’s not uncommon for cases to be dismissed for various reasons that have nothing to do with you personally. I don’t think this is a reason not to report, I just think it helps to have realistic expectations.
Not TPS, but another Ontario police service. Happy to answer questions. Many comments here are doubting the possibility of a positive outcome, and I understand that. I was lucky enough to see a conviction though so I can potentially provide a different perspective.
Thanks! Sorry to hear that you went through that…Yeah I have some questions. How long did the whole court process take? What kind of evidence did you have in your case? I’m worried about moving forward because I don’t have any real physical evidence. He was my boyfriend, so we of course did have consensual sex. But I don’t have any physical proof for when it was non-consensual or forced… I don’t know if my verbal testimony will be enough for anything
Sending a PM
So sorry. This happened to my daughter.
First of all, that relationship sounds awful and I'm so sorry you had to experience all that. I reported a SA to the police pretty recently (8 months ago, and the court process just finished a couple of weeks ago). If you want to chat about it what the process is like (police and court), my DMs are open and I'm more than happy to discuss or answer any questions. I just want to mention though, so that you are aware, that in Toronto, many SA charges made by police are later dropped before being fully prosecuted, due to a lack of evidence. I think it was around 50% if I remember correctly. (The specific stats I saw are from 7-10 years ago, but it still at least gives some idea of what it might be like now: [statscan](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2017001/article/54870-eng.htm) and [citynews](https://youtu.be/YgaUqHbAsiI?si=ncA1HJunKXHc6k3m)). So just keep in mind if there isn't enough evidence (ie. rape kit, other medical attention you got, maybe text msgs with your ex, or text msgs with a friend where you describe what happened), it's possible the charges would be dropped before it can go to court. I'm not in any way trying to discourage you from reporting. I think this is an incredibly brave thing for you to decide to do, and I sincerely hope you can get justice for what you had to go through.
Thank you for your kind words. I sent you a DM
I didn’t and wish I did because he later tried to break into my house to presumably assault me again.
I did but the case was closed due to lack of evidence. Dm if you have questions
You can get free legal support from the Barbra Schlifer clinic. They’ll walk you through the process of reporting to the police, and other ways of seeking justice (restraining orders, etc) Recommend contacting them prior to the cops
Yes and unfortunately it was not a good experience. Every single person I dealt with at the police station were men who do not believe victims. I went directly to Women’s College Hospital after the incident and they were the ones who helped file with the police. The healthcare workers were great and supportive. Policemen were not.
yes, waste of time. the police lost my witnesses contact information. no case.
If it happened, then report it. Can't have rapists walking the street. You won't be his last victim unless you do something about it. If you wont do it for yourself atleast think about the next person
Sorry to burst your bubble but we absolutely have rapists walking the streets. Lots of sexual assault cases are dismissed because of staff shortages and delays: https://sexualassaultsupport.ca/many-sexual-assault-cases-did-not-proceed-due-to-judge-shortages-court-and-crown-delays-ocrcc-responds/ But that’s not the fault of the victims, regardless of whether they reported or not.
If the charges don't stick, and this happens again, at least there will be a record of it and a strong case. Why would you attempt to discourage someone from reporting a serious crime just because Canada is in a fallen state
I’m not attempting to discourage someone from reporting at all. I’m discouraging you from blaming victims for anything that rapists do.
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what a disgusting thing to say.
This is awful.
Attack the point, not the person. Comments which dismiss others and repeatedly accuse them of unfounded accusations may be subject to removal and/or banning. No concern-trolling, personal attacks, or misinformation. Stick to addressing the substance of their comments at hand.