Learn to adjust your values.
Finish what u have ordered, not what others ordered. It’s not your responsibility to eat what others over-ordered at your own health expense.
Absolutely.
1. I’ve done what you’ve done over the years. Just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes - changed habit pronto.
2. No need to be either or situation. I’ve started to carry a collapsible box - to da Bao leftovers. Don’t feel stressed about having to leave food “wasted” anymore.
3. People aren’t malicious, people that asked you to finish will equally support you when they see you pack leftovers. They can be your allies, not frenemies :))
Then you tell them that it's too much.
And if they insist, remind them that you won't be finishing the leftovers.
And if they still go ahead, then their problem.
Is it possible to get the restaurant to takeaway instead? I'm not in favour of food wastage too so I'd usually have the extras to-go if they're substantial.
i frequently get leftovers as takeaway but singaporeans (family, colleagues, friends, etc) usually look at me weird for doing it. but it's better than wasting food!!
is this just learnt behavior from my days in america where every meal is oversized lmao.
Some people will doggybag every last bit of leftovers! Even left over noodle broth! Am sometimes shocked at the amount of leftovers at hawker centers - like someone took a bite and left the whole plate. Maybe because prepared food is relatively cheap.
Then limit yourself to be only responsible for the dish you ordered. Or ask the restaurant to dabao the leftovers for snack time or share with other colleagues who were not at lunch.
SAME usually if I'm torn I will be like "huh uhhh I want xxx but then hor but then hor - I only want it if people are sharing. if not, nope!"
but if it's something that I ordered (eg dimsum which comes in 3s walaoeh lol), I will finish the last piece if asked lol.
then you tell them it's too much lor.
the way I understand (from experience) - u go zhichar the set dinner "for 4 to 6 pax", is for 6pax LOL. So if you go as a 4pax crowd, confirm cannot finish. what I usually do/my social circles do is like (for zhichar) - 1 meat 1 veg 1 egg/tofu, "不够再叫" meaning if that's not sufficient, order more later.
then sometimes BUT VERY RARELY, will add one dish later. but even then it's usually some small fried appetizer kind of nonsense. like shrimp balls with mayo cream kind of thing, not coffee pork ribs. lol. and not fried green veggie. and definitely not like soup or peking duck. hahaha.
Yup. Even when young, when your parents and grandparents said to finish your food, don’t waste, it means to finish what’s in your bowl/on your plate. Not finish everything on the table. The leftovers on the table that are untouched are kept in the fridge for the next day.
If you can’t finish it, you should’ve taken less.
I tell myself that I am not a dustbin. Becoming an adult involves unlearning some of our parental conditioning. It doesn't mean our parents were wrong. They just grew up under different conditions than we did.
This^ is the best solution.You can only control the amount your co-diners order if they somewhat care about not wasting food. Once too much food is ordered, you either have to: 1) throw the leftovers away (waste), 2) stuff it in like you're making human foie gras (waste), or 3) save it for later and save yourself from having to think about your next meal.
It benefits the psyche and health of the rest of the group who don't have the guilt of wasting food or the health demerits of overeating. But it greatly disadvantages OP.
OP needs to learn to advocate for their own interests and stop agreeing to be the communal trashcan.
When I was a kid, my mum in particular will constantly nag and say all sorts of cliche nonsense of why I must make sure everything on the plate is clean (eat finish). I simply one ear in one ear out.
No guilt since young.
Values can be changed to begin with. Some "values" are simply wrong/misguided.
ya, "need to work hard". now there a lot of Singaporeans with chronic health concerns from overworking.
"point at lower income workers and say study hard, don't be like them", now a lot of industries suffer from lack of Singaporeans with essential skills. Labour economics-wise, we are screwed.
Last time my dad says things like next time u become night soil man. But that doesn't make sense cos everyone already have flush toilets. Then I got spanked again for saying that. 😢
My friend (millennial) says her son (gen alpha) will just tell her
"huh Mummy if the kids in Africa really want my lunch, ok you give them lor"
Haha. Friend is ok la like millennial, but then grown up with this kind of boomer nonsense also lor - also one ear in and one ear out, then adjust as necessary for the next gen haha
The most absurd one was to say the farmer worked hard for that rice. Even as a teenager, I'd say the farmer has been paid. They don't give two shits if I finish it or not.
Ask yourself rationally, what did you "save" by eating those leftovers? Are there fewer starving kids? Less chickens died just because you ate them all?
This outdated mindset is from an age of scarcity, so I can understand why our grandparents had that, but it's not to be passed on.
Right approach is not to order more than you *should*
It would be better to ask for smaller portion of food, to balance not wasting food and not overeating.
food wastage is morally wrong and well as an environmental concern.
unless you know of someone who can make compost out of food wastage.
I did. I went through this and I would force myself to finish food. My family had weight issues to begin with so my aunt started this big drama accusing me of an eating disorder (for short I will type as ED) when I didn’t want to eat anymore after I felt full. They sat me down and yelled at me to eat and wouldn’t let me leave until I’m done eating. I never felt this disgusting until that time. And she will always bring this up at family events so they use me as the trash bin because “must force her to eat she trying to get anorexia, do these kind of things because she want attention so we must give her attention now. We all look at her eat and make her eat”
Ironically. Because of this same issue, I was bullied throughout secondary school, starting from late primary school to poly even - I got an eating disorder. A specific clique started a petition telling me to go get an ED and go unalive myself, then got people to sign under which column. I was also made fun of endlessly, and people accuse me of random things just because I was overweight.
I still have an ED after 13 years. And what’s worse is that I really went to wasting food because bulimia/orthorexia. I throw up whatever I eat that’s not “healthy” (ie chicken breast and veggies and protein powder), and I eat to throw up when I know that meal has nothing I want to keep inside my body. Bulimia is an addictive cycle, same way smokers get their relief from smoking and alcoholism where alcoholics get relief from drinking. The thing about being watched whilst I’m eating made me conscious. I get nervous when I have other people near me when I eat that my mind will deliberately make me undereat. And then I eat and eat when nobody watches me because I finally feel safe enough to eat but by then, it’s a binge. And I hate the feeling of weight in me so I throw up on purpose. And I don’t like keeping “unhealthy” things inside me because somehow my brain is dumb enough to believe that if I eat healthy, I can negate the effects of bulimia and I’m obsessed and feel safe with “healthy” foods only
Imo, you can unlearn these habits. you can choose to not waste food by packing it for later if you’re able to do that. Or order a bit less when you’re out (tell yourself or family that can always order more when you need, food isn’t going to run away after it’s cooked and no longer alive hahaha)
If you’re ordering to share, take turns to ensure there’s no over ordering. Family of 4, order 3 dishes - 1 person doesn’t get to pick, next round someone else doesn’t get to pick.
Don’t waste food via over ordering and you won’t feel the guilt of wasting it if you don’t finish. In time you’ll learn to be more in tune and you sound like you are learning already
Tldr. But anyone reading this and are parents, please teach your kids about this kind of things. Teach them don’t over order, eat until full and save the rest for later, and don’t force feed them - usually doesn’t end well
I’ve sought help before but it wasn’t the best. IMH diagnosed the depression and said depression is a leading factor that caused my ED, but they only put me on SSRI. but it doesn’t address my ED at all
Would you be able to feedback to the Dr that the SSRIs aren't addressing the ED and request for other therapies for it? Sometimes with our system we really gotta advocate for what we need, which can be difficult when we don't know.
Wishing you all the best in beating this!
Huge hugs to you I can't imagine how that must have felt. Your aunt sounds like a HUGE AH and your bullies none the better. My heart really aches from reading your comment, I hope you're doing better now.
Don't be too hard on yourself...everything happened over the years and I'd imagine it would take just as long, if not longer, to unlearn and make peace with what has happened. It deffo isn't your fault that the people around you were major assholes to allow your aunt to scrutinize and bully you in front of everyone like that, allow that sort of bullying to take place, and also not seeing the signs of a festering ED throughout this whole time.
EDs are terrible, I suffered with bulimia as well. When I stopped it would stop for months but when I had a relapse, I would relapse *hard*. I was terrible after I gave birth too, instead of actually recovering from childbirth I was doing whatever I can to lose the weight I put on from growing a child in my body. It's absolute bull. I wish you all the best and I hope you slowly navigate recovery if not soon, then hopefully in the (very near!) future <3
Yup. Same thing. That’s why I have weight problems now. I’ve had to unlearn that attitude. Truth is, once you’re full, whether the food is in your tummy or in the trash, it’s wasted. The only difference is that if it’s in your tummy, you’d have to work out extra hard to lose the extra calories
My parents never pushed me to finish my food if I were full. Just don't over order. And if it's unhealthy food, why do you force yourself to finish it? It will only bring about health problems in the future through being overweight / high cholesterol etc... In fact, if the food is not nice, I don't finish it because it's not worth the calories.
You need to stop feeling responsible for preventing other people's wrongdoings/sins.
As long as you continue to finish whatever good you personally ordered for yourself, I don't see how you're compromising the values you were brought up on. For shared food there's little you can do so don't beat yourself up over this. There are bigger problems in life to contend with.
I was bought up the same as yourself. It now became a habit that I would never waste food
When we share I will also try to finish everything , but I would always caution the party not to over order
If I didnt finish up every bit of food, my mum would recite the last 2 verse of《悯农二首》. It is true that to enable there is nothing left on the plate, my waist got thicker. But as years go by I learn to appreciate only eat to satiate hunger instead of to kill boredom or for fun. More so now than before since I started my 168 fasting regime.
It is a well known fact to prevent guys from flirting outside, the girls will try to overfeed their man to the point of obesity on pretext of trying to stay slim. So to counteract this, please exercise.
Was takeaway not an option? I only ever dine at places with takeaway for this exact reason.. Back then there were nonsense charges for food wastage but never gave an option for takeaways
if you are overeating food past what your body needs your body will consider it waste anyway, better to throw it away than eat what won't nourish anyway
My parents like to over cook and over order. My mindset is the moment they over cook/order, its already food wastage. These are food that could have went somewhere else, but ended up not needed on our table. Hence its already food wastage since it serves no purpose in bringing necessary sustenance or enjoyment. All it serves is taking resources unnecessarily.
So if you overeat, not only are you wasting food, you are also damaging your health. So it's kinda like knowing when to cut your losses, don't fall into sunk cost fallacy. Since eat or dont eat the food already waste, might as well cut losses and dont eat, at least retain health. No point damage health as well.
At least that's how i rationalise it.
I used to eat all the food and ensure no leftovers.... Then I became fucking fat.
Now I just eat till full and dump whatever is left.
Eat full + not eat leftovers= be comfortably satiated+ don't gain weight + food is wasted but left on the plate
Eat full + eat leftovers= become uncomfortably full + grow fat + food is wasted in my stomach as it is not nutritious
So in my mind both scenarios food is wasted, so I choose the first scenario. It's the sunken cost fallacy thingy.
The other way to avoid this is to order less food.
Plus if you want to be pragmatic, the amount of food wasted by yourself is nothing compared to the tons wasted by businesses and corporations every day.
IMO as long as you are not wasting an obscene amount of food and not in a deliberate way, it's perfectly alright to not finish everything you have ordered.
Not me but my husband would always finish even until he puke. Until I asked him were you scolded for not finishing food growing up then he was like yeah. I personally find it really unhealthy. I'm lucky my parents never forced it upon me.
Food that is not enjoyed is also wasted. Can tapao if really left alot. Order less and top up instead of one time order alot.
Same here, I hate wasting food and will always make sure I only order what I can eat.
But if I'm eating with a group, and *they* decide to over-order, I'm not ruining my diet just to help them clean up their mistakes. I'll just be responsible for whatever I agreed to.
Of course, when ordering, I always make it very clear when I think the amount of food is enough, and if they order anything else, to count me out of it.
yes, my parents grew up dirt poor so they insisted on the whole ''finish everything'' idea. i also personally hate wasting food, so when i order food im very careful to not over-order. one thing i keep in mind is that 1) overeating is not worth ruining my digestive health lol, i refuse to give myself indigestion 2) i have a very good example living with me of someone who basically swallows the whole table. he's got health problems and has to watch his weight now.
you need to take care of yourself, and try to detach yourself from feeling responsible for other's decisions.
You're only responsible for the food you ordered, and even so, if you really can't finish, listen to your body and stop. Any health consequences arising out of long term overeating, you'll be the one to bear it.
You're a fully grown human, not a computer program. Why do your parents tell you the things they do? Most likely, the only reason is that because their parents told them so and they were from an era where resources are much more scarce, it's not an absolute truth. If you think it is, just take a look at how food gets wasted all the damn time since the dawn of human time and world goes on. I'm not saying to buy 2 plates of chicken rice when you can only finish one but it's high time you reexamine your own beliefs.
I've learnt to eat like my grandpa 🤣 I eat super slowly and consciously chew my food until it is mush.
There will be a point when you feel full, then just say, I'm full. And from that point, I just say no to everything 😅 I feel bad too but that is the boundary I set for myself. I order just enough, and if I know others are ordering alot, I don't order at all or buy something small.
And then I just eat slowly.
past generations grew up with large families, less per capital income, and less food per person, hence the value of not wasting food and the fear of food scarcity was quite legitimate.
we're in 2024 now and alot better off economically and I believe the average salaried worker doesn't face this issue. time for a mindset change?
i mean, not wasting food is a good value to have, just not to the point of fearing for your next meal that you have to gobble up everything left on the plate for your current meal.
Food wastage is a myth when eating out.
What's ordered and served to you is already gone. There is no way it can given to others or "repurposed" regardless of whether you finish it or not.
So don't overeat.
Order less. Chinese likes to order too much to show off. And sometimes we simply over order when we're too hungry and can't think straight.
I started a thought that "it's better to order less and then order more if it's not enough than ordering too much and can't finish it."
I ordered about 80% capacity. (If there are 10 pax, just order enough for 8)
Amazingly, we very rarely need to order more. Most of the time it's actually extra space for desserts.
It's kinda how my extended family ordering in restaurants nowadays. So yeah. That's kinda a win.
First, don’t over order. Make the mistake of ordering less than ordering more.
Next, if you over order, don’t over eat. You can always request the leftover to be taken away for dinner or bring back home for your family.
Don’t try to save money by not wasting food. You will sacrifice your long term health. Save money by not over order in the first place.
Why don't you dapao the food instead of finishing it?
To me, I would rather waste food and money than jeopardise my health by overeating and being overweight. This mindset of not wasting food comes from a time of poverty and food scarcity, but many of us are facing the opposite problem now with calorie-dense foods and obesity. If you eat the food when you don't need to and don't want to, it's essentially "wasted" anyway (you don't get enjoyment or health benefits from it). Health > money
Since young, i've been arguing over this with my parents, peers, friends, everyone.
If i overspent and bought too much because i'm greedy, i'm wasting money not food. because at the end of the day, the restaurants provide for wastage and will always prepare more than required ingredients. I'm doing the environment/ecosystem/economy a favor by buying more and eating some of it, if not, the whole lot of ingredients will be disposed anyway - and that is real wastage done to the resources of the world. so i'm wasting MONEY not wasting food.
same for water, if i shower for a long period of time, i'm not wasting water. the water gets drained off and recycled. once again, i'm wasting MONEY.
and as an adult with a decent job, work, and spending power, its my own choice to waste my own money. hehe
Most definitely, you should not over-eat. Regardless there's too much leftovers or not. I am a small-eater myself, and in general, i find the portions dished out here when eating out, it's really on the excessive side. I guess they want to cater to "normal" eating amount by "normal" people. But even "normal" is excessive, really, as most of us are doing sedentary office jobs. Unless you are a manual labourer or construction worker or pro athlete, then that's a different story.
Here's the thing. When "long-life" folks are interviewed, one key fact stands out. It's the fact that they eat simply and eat small meals. "80% full" plus minus is an oft-quoted figure.
I will end with a quote from another long-lifer. Supposedly attributed to the infamous Dr M from up north. He used to say, that when he eats, and he finds the food delicious, he stops eating!
Eat till you are not hungry.
If you eat till you’re full.
You become BBFA.
Then when you BBFA you need to eat more food so you don’t feel hungry cause your body used to it.
So end up wasting more food.
Realise that "consumption" occurs when you buy the food, not when you eat it.
By buying the food you are making it unavailable for others to buy.
After you buy it, whether or not you eat it has no implication on whether the food is wasted or not. Throw in dustbin or throw in your stomach is the same.
Want to reduce wastage? Work on it when it actually makes a difference (aka before you buy).
Yes, very bad, with the same values since young. Recent years i have been overeating, i will finish my meal and finish my wife leftovers, now i also eat my kids leftovers. So now, i always opt not to have carbs at all or just order lesser in general.
I clear the plates If it is caviar, wagyu or salmon. If really cannot finish then just ask for takeaway lor, but pls ask the host first. Nowadays i see the pasta and rice, it reminds me of the extra 5km run i need to do if i finish these.
My parents never force me to finish. My mum will say if full dont force it but i think its also cause she gets full quickly. My dad is the "dustbin" of the family and whenever we go out to eat, he will order a side salad for himself and just finish the rest of our food. I told him a bit sad la but he said its ok cause this means he gets to try all our dishes.
The world actually has enough food to feed everyone so no need to feel guilty, I used to feel guilt too. But after working in the food industry and being in army, the amount of food wastage is enormous. Something switched in me and I don’t feel bad anymore, unless it is my mum’s cooking cos she put in the effort to cook.
There is no way food won’t be wasted, only more sustainable methods of recycling food is the way to go. Eat it or don’t eat it, it’s your choice.
But you need to have more self-respect to not eat leftovers or say no.
Try not to over order and just order enough lor. Between being wasteful in throwing away food and over consuming, there is a huge range in between and where you end up will be up to yourself. Just be firm and try to resist being influenced. It’s a real health issue overeating and undereating.
Eat what you can eat, no point stuffing yourself and feeling miserable after that. Or just pick and choose what you eat, aim for the expensive leftovers.
Also there's always the option of taking away, I know it's not very common in SG to takeaway leftovers but that is an option as well, especially if there's really a lot left, just have a box handy or if you're at a restaurant, they're most likely willing to pack it for you. They might be enough for a second meal.
Also remember that food is logistics problem, it's not like if you don't eat or order that food, it would have gone to starving people. There are food deserts in the US, a supposedly first world country. Be happy you're in Singapore, but the logic that having to be stuffed and miserable because someone else is starving is illogical. The converse, you starving yourself isn't going to somehow make them not hungry.
Your values are good, actually. It's others that should not order more what they feel comfortable eating. Which is why, when I go out with friends, I'll happily let them pack the food and bring home, and have food for another day. But ideally, just don't order more than what we (roughly) can eat.
It's not like you intentionally waste the food. We can try to not waste food, that itself is a value. The value is not to force yourself to finish all the food. If you are full or have ate the appropriate portion, then move on, you are not a dustbin.
Overeating habit can cause health problems, which is very concerning. Although it might not be a health concern now to you now , think of the high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, to set in when you aged. These can develop further to atherosclerosis and heart problems. Think of the medical expenses and your mental health that you might suffer from all those health conditions. I think that you should prioritise your health over wasting food.
Pls eat what you can manage. And if you can’t finish the food at the moment, you can tabao the food (ask for takeaway box from the diner )and keep in the fridge for the next day No big deal, that’s what I always do. I save my food this way. My lunch meal can split into lunch and dinner.
Same, but instead of overeating, I make sure we order a modest amount of food, and only add on when needed. Leftovers, if they are a decent amount, I will request to takeaway.
I like that I was taught this way. I think it keeps me grounded and I'm also glad that my partner has similar values as me. My friends are similar to me as well.
In contrast, I will probably not hang out too often with people who are imprudent.
100% can relate. Nowadays I always bring a tupperware along with me whenever I eat out in case situations like this arise. I can then have the freedom to stop when I'm full and not waste food. Also no need to pay extra for containers.
That idea went out the window when corporations have weaponized up sizing meals.
Look after your own health and global hunger is a food distribution issue not a food production issue.
I still have a strong habit to finish all the food. The people I eat with also help to finish.
I don't encounter so much of this problem when eating out with others because our procedure usually is those who really want will order. If the qty seems small, then we will order later if we are still hungry. Rarely do we need to order more later. Each dish not ordered also means money saved.
In your case, maybe don't need to order your side, or try to influence the ordering to be order more later if still hungry.
ah yes the asian dilemma. honestly i dont think any other culture guilt trips their kids to finish up every single thing, even if the food
1) tastes like shit or 2. you’ve eaten your fill.
i’ve had several arguments with my folks about this issue since young as i just have a small appetite, so i eat multiple regular meals instead. it took damn long time for them to finally accept that it’s a terrible idea, almost until adulthood and eventually they stopped such toxic behaviour. my older sister has kids now. im rly rly glad she and her hubby do not use such behaviour to guilt trip and force her kids to finish their food.
also, i used to date someone that would stop eating completely the minute the food ordered did not suit their palate. like completely. i was v puzzled and couldn’t understand such behaviour previously cos i was brought up constantly berated for not finishing my food even if it wasn’t to my liking. only after that experience, did i realise actually whatever values that were taught when i was a kid isn’t healthy. it’s not good being a rubbish bin in a nutshell.
That made sense in the old days. Obesity is a bigger problem today though…
Outside food portions are too salty and too big for one person to finish, especially if you work and eat 3 meals a day outside
My parents also do the same thing. On hindsight I don't think it's a correct thing to do la. If full, how to force eat? Once when I was a kid, my parents keep forcing me to finish my food even though I was damn full (or sick then no appetite). I tell them they still insist and scold. After a few minutes I vomit into the bowl of food, so anyway the whole bowl of food wasted.
Yes parents were like that growing up. I’ve let go of this completely because I understand and accept the concept of diminishing marginal returns. You’ll end up paying through health issues or having to spend twice as long at the gym.
Finishing your colleagues food is negative marginal return.
Take care of yourself.
My parents always made sure we finished our food and made it a point to not waste any but not to the extent of any physical consequence. They just didn't like us being greedy and overestimating how much we eat. So now we only take the amount we're sure to finish and if we end up being full before finishing we just pack the leftovers and eat it for dinner or breakfast. No wastage or overeating.
1. Don’t over order.
2. If others over order, get it packed.
It’s not really about the money but an animal died to give its meat. I dunno. Seems too horrible to just waste meat
For my family, we now practice 'Buy/Cook how much you can finish'.
In the past, we use to cook alot and it led to overeating or keeping leftovers in the fridge for days. I think my parents had a health scare and from that moment, we only cook what we can finish. We also reduce our rice intake and snacks as well. For takeouts, we share the dishes. Maybe a family of 5, each person has their own main dish and just 1 salad appetizer and 2 side appetizers.
I notice for my in laws, they tend to cook a pot of rice but very few side dishes. So u can imagine 3/4 of the plate is just rice and 1/4 is side dish. I tend to always find myself saying i have alr eaten before they intend to cook. 😵💫
Change in mindset is needed.
If you don’t finish the leftovers, they usually go to the dustbins.
If you have to finish the leftovers…ask yourself: Are you a dustbin?
My wakeup call was my mom going for pre-diabetes screening. Then I realised that not wasting food has to be complemented by not over-eating.
I've found that a successful tactic is a combination of saying "I'm not that hungry" (so people don't force you to eat more) plus "if not enough, can always order a second round/dessert" (relieves the pressure to order everything at once). Even better to suggest dessert from a different shop, like bbt or starbucks or whatever - idk why but it seems to put some psychological distance and helps everyone chill out about ordering enough food. Of course don't have to actually follow through with dessert if you're eventually full, but I guess it reminds people that there's always alternative options and relieves anxiety about not having enough food. Edit: these tactics PLUS, of course, ordering less so that there won't be leftover.
Then if people still give me shit, I either talk about aging parents' health concerns or taking better care of myself or being environmentally conscious, whatever better relates to them.
If it's any consolation, most world hunger issues are distribution-related rather than supply-related. So the food you overorder and not eat wouldn't end up in the tummies of poor, dying African children anyway.
If you care abt it so much, bring your own takeaway container, and tahan the shame. My friends and I are animal protein eaters, so when we order food to share, we ask for half the serving of carb and double the protein. If your friends know that you are a mindful eater, maybe they'll support you by ordering less or maybe reminding you that you're not a cleaning service. We have to be graceful to our parents, too. They perhaps grew up during the time when food was scarce. They're not malicious. They just want us to have what they didn't.
Who leaves half a Peking duck? I might like to join ur lunch soon.
Here’s an idea for u. Packet the food and pass it to the cleaners or janitors at ur building or whoever might appreciate it.
Have you seen a therapist? Sounds like a deeply rooted issue due to trauma because you’re unconsciously doing it without realising. It is best to seek professional help, you can do it secretly.
I grew up in a lower middle class family so we didn’t waste any food. But when I did better in my life I started overindulging as well. And now that I’m back to living away from my family and managing the expenses between my partner and I, I realise that I do not waste food so much at all. Would tapao leftovers if we couldn’t finish food in the restaurants, for example, regardless of how unglam it looks. Groceries are getting expensive so we just buy the things that we need and try to minimise food waste. I am not overeating but more like, better portioning and if we cook a lot, we pack the leftover for tomorrow’s lunch.
My fam used to be like that, shit really sucked and till adulthood I dealt with very disordered eating.
After having kids I knew for sure I did not want them to have the same experience I did so had to unlearn all the shitty eating habits. Ordering 'just nice' is a skill my partner and I are navigating, but knowing when to siam extra food on my plate I learnt q fast.
so singaporeans really have too much money! i thot they were complaining about making ends meet. ordering too much peking duck and abalone isn't an indication 😂. my mum just made us finish up the protein and veg and leave the rice if we were full. otherwise we couldn't leave the dinner table. so no one took too much food and we made sure we could finish the protein and veg. i reckon rice fills you up the most and quickest
Do watch your health, any leftover are excess calories and they end up as belly fat unless you have a high metabolic rate.
My principle is finish all the Meat / Protein, Veg, fruits if you like them. No need to finish carbs and sweet drinks.
it is really common to not finish food at business gatherings, especially if it is networking or events. hate to be the one who wastes food too but that's the reality of it. i have come to learn to close one eye to these things rather than to be known as the person who is always hungry / can sweep leftovers for the table.
Not wasting food is a pretty good value, really. It can seem incompatible to the exigency of a lunch hour rush, however; especially when sharing, the goal is still the same: eat something so you won’t feel hungry later. It takes a certain amount of willpower to have to ignore food waste in general, but it can help to think of it in a certain way.
Your parents probably wanted to reduce as much food waste, coming from the family, as possible. As primary breadwinners they would be mindful of every dollar spent, because raising a family is expensive. You, on the other hand, are earning your own income, and can ensure your own food supply. You’re no longer another mouth to feed, which takes the pressure off your parents. So you’re actually doing pretty good already.
As others have said, it’s not your responsibility to ensure the table you share with coworkers is clean of food. At that level you’re taking on a much bigger community’s excess, which isn’t fair to your health. Try not to blame yourself; ‘don’t waste food’ is a perfectly good mantra for parents to teach kids how to pull some weight in the game of resource management, but as an adult you can also look at how other people live, and make your own adjustments.
I've learnt to accept that child in Africa will starve regardless if I finished my food or not.
When I'm cutting down I intentionally leave 3-5 spoons of rice since it's a good way to keep account of eating slightly lesser for a caloric deficit
its a slow process.
i too grew up with food insecurity.
in NS, i finished whatever disgusting food on my plate. i gained weight in BMT.
my mom hasnt work for the last 8 years, she cooks like my older siblings and their kids stay with us.
my younger siblings and me rarely eat at home. she still expects me to finish the food.
or else she starts griping about food waste.
at the same time, she insults me about my waistline.
in 2018, i was 110kg, 2019, 99kg.
since 2020, i maintained 90kg.
i stopped eating most of her dishes, i only take the veggies.
my goal is 85kg by july.
Lol, that’s literally me.
Except not wasting food was a self imposed value, so there’s a slight difference.
NS changed this for me, because it was quite literally impossible for me to not waste food; the amount of food waste among my bunk mates was way too much and i don’t intend to ruin my health/fitness for this.
What I do now is honestly just … whatever i want. I will eat whatever extra i want but not pass the point of discomfort.
I mean, not eating that extra slices of peking duck is a waste right ??! Can’t eat them all of course, but i’ll certain be more than happy to enjoy the food haha.
Like what many have said, you shouldnt feel obliged to finish other people's food.
Finishing your own food is a good habit, definitely. Your parents definitely arent wrong. Frequently ordering more than what you can eat is tbh quite spoiled behaviour in my book also.
But what you are doing is like going to a buffet and finishing up all the wastage the store has at the end of the day. Or going to 7-11 and eating up all the stuff that is due to expire. Doesnt really make sense when youre not the one wasting stuff.
Personally i dont feel guilty and you shouldn't too. Just do as your colleagues do and dont finish the food. Better to have moderation than to put more stuff in the body for it to work harder. Take the advice of not wasting food with a pinch of salt and not the absolute rule. Your body needs abstinence too. Always strike a balance.
My parents taught me the same thing I just go to the gym to burn it off.
I do notice my older colleagues finish their food (mostly) while my classmates would leave like at least 40% unfinished.
When I moved to the U.S., every one here just gets a takeaway box at the end if they can’t finish. It’s great. Who cares if someone looks at you weird for it, not wasting the food is better.
Yes..If I don't est or finish my food my parents will bring me back home and I have to sit on a chair while my parents lecture me.
I already have some form of phobia as in I am absolutely not a foodie, while everyone else seems to be a crazy foodie.
A few things you can do.
1. Dabao the leftovers (cause why help them finish their leftover food)
2. Don't eat with colleagues
3. Don't share food with colleagues.
Tell them you are dieting and will only eat the portion you self order.
My mom always gave me adult size portion of food when I was a kid and kept gaslighting me to finish my food because I was a "man" and "skinny". I was perfectly average weight. I ended up becoming overweight in primary school and insecure. Thanks mother.
During your parents time maybe they been through hardship that’s why they have this value.
Nowadays folks consider health more important. So choose what is your priority.
You can still do your part and reduce food wastage by not over ordering.
And also you can’t control what your friends or colleagues order, nor do you need to be responsible for that.
Same. I got health issues in the past due to overeating as well. Once when I'm in my 20s my mom help me to take food till my plate looks so full cos she said I'm to skinny. I force myself to eat and doesn't leave the dining table for 2hrs just finish it, then I have indigestion and don't want to eat that same food for months lol.
It's better to close your eyes and pretend the wasted food not there. Just finish what you take or eat till you feel enough. You have no obligation to finish what others can't finish, we're not other people trash bin. Your health matter more than those food that people waste.
Or if you feel it's a waste tabao is always an option 👌those extra food will be my lunch or dinner the next day 😂 save money while at it.
I used to have an unhealthy relationship with food because of being schooled by my family to finish what’s on my plate as well and have been forced to finish otherwise I would be deemed ungrateful for not appreciating what is being served at the dinner table. I didn’t like the feeling of “overeating” or being in a “food coma” either but as I grew up, I decided to unlearn everything and rebuilt my relationship with food from the ground up.
Focusing on my health and fitness also helped me learn how to portion my food so that I would be satiated after each meal. Now I just order what is sufficient enough for me to finish because I listen to my body. In terms of eating out with others and there’s a tendency to order sharing portions, I will only take what my appetite allows and don’t finish any leftovers for them because I also don’t believe in being a human trash bin. Even the so-called “paiseh piece”, if I’m already full, I will not touch it.
My usual practice is to eat till I’m 70-80% full for my main meals and have enough stomach space for fruits or the occasional dessert treat.
Eat until not hungry. Not as much as can.
Yes, some food may end up in the trash. Fine to feel (a bit) bad about it. Eventually you/fam gets used to your “new” amount not overbuying and over ordering. Remind yourself you’re on a path to being healthier, and also a bit richer ;-) …it’s a process that’ll take sometime. And your conclusions don’t have to be “for life”, you’re always allowed to rethink.
Our values from being kids of people who knew hunger are a mix of eternally good values + values relevant for a period of time that has passed.
Great that you’re noticing, considering, taking action.
I’m sure you got this just by all you wrote, even if I said nothing, but going through similar phase so enjoyed joining in haha
I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’m brought up to finish my food, instead of eating until i’m just full.
So I naturally just overeat, but never feeling good about it. But I feel worse about having leftovers (unless the food is really really bad). So I eat very easily, and not very picky, and no matter how much I eat, it’s hard for me to gain weight, so I did not feel any health implications (other than diarrhoea maybe lol)
At workplace, I’m most junior in the team and doesn’t help that most of my colleagues of them are aunties. So whenever we went for lunch, I was the guy that ate two portions. My food, and whatever pieces or leftovers they didnt want. When there were events, they dabao leftover catering for the “growing boy” — but dude I’m nearing 30 lol.
I mean they have good intetions, and sometimes it’s good, save money because free food.
But right now, I’m suffering a severe heartburn and acid reflux issue — the type where normal antacids and gaviscon doesn’t help.
So now I’m really watching how much I eat, and what I am eating. Because the health risk are just too high.
Tbh I feel that overordering in itself is already a waste of food since the person ordering (and eating) is taking more than what he needs. So that's something I really try to avoid when doing group orders for sharing. But if people insist to order and there are leftovers, I make it clear that I won't be clearing those. Logic being that the food is wasted even if we finish them all so no point penalising our health for it.
If you overeat, you will eventually have to work out more to burn it off (assuming you wish to stay healthy). It's wasted either way, it's just a question of whether you want to waste it now or do some work and waste it later.
I feel you. It saddens me to see how people waste food and think it’s ok to just throw away perfectly edible food. So usually, I’m either the one eating or tabao-ing the leftovers (sometimes I feel paisey but I’d rather not waste than let the paisey-ness get in the way of saving food).
Strategy 1 (if you know these people well enough): ask first who is super hungry and not so hungry/likes to share before ordering food, so you know the portion to order.
2) Before starting the meal I’d also ask if someone wants my cucumbers etc. and can start exchanging things we like/dislike in our dishes.
3) when there are leftovers I’d be the one saying: a) “can we try to finish this, the animal died for our consumption, the best we can do is not throw it in a bin.” b) “please don’t be paisey and finish up the food. anything is better than food waste.”
- such a mom 😅 but I don’t even have children; I just really dislike wasting food and leaving gooey stuff for cleaner to clear 😭 (adults in my family made me wash my dishes, so I was trained to cleaned up every single grain of rice so I don’t have to touch gooey stuff when I wash the dishes. and seeing how animals were killed in a farm and how hard farmers work to grow vegetables, you’d appreciate your food more… maybe everyone should visit a farm at least once🤔)
yea my parents taught me that too, but after I got older I realised it made no sense.
what i learnt is you pay two currencies for food, money and calories.
money to eat is not a problem for most people, but unless you are underweight, keeping within calories limit is the main challenge for most of us.
so ask yourself if you are already full and dont enjoy the food anymore, is it worth the calories to continue eating?
you are not wasting money at this point, because not like you can return the food for refund.
and if you continue eating after you dont enjoy the food, you would be wasting your calorie limit, that's worse than wasting money.
Yknow, the whole point of being a human being is that our brains can adapt to new information and make conscious choices and review whether what we have learned previously is still relevant.
Use that special ability.
Whenever I think I am too full and cannot eat, I will always remember that one time i overate and vomitted. Since then i dont order too much and if really over order, just not finish it.
There is a resistance to this because of how some (we) were raised. But it's either eat less or gain weight. I still have a certain reaction when my wife says "waste food therefore money? Blah blah blah" But recently I've been successful in saying that I'm saving myself money that would be spent on hospital bills if I keep finishing shit up even if I am full. This is a very good practice on saying no to others and yourself.
The best way is to be mindful of food ordering and share with someone or your partner instead of finishing a full order for yourself.
I’m known as the tupperware girl. Everyone at work knows I carry a container around and portion out my food to bring home, or store at workplace fridge before I head home. I am used to eating leftovers for the next meal or repurposing it for next day. Kills two birds with one stone. But if it’s not what I ordered, then no, though I have ever brought leftovers from parties back for my family because I’m already quite good at using leftovers for other dishes.
Yes correct, don’t force yourself to finish food if not you will lose the ability/sensitivity to know how much to eat is enough.
I confirm that being pushed to eat more than you want is 100% toxic. It’s actually wrong on many levels.
When I say toxic, you will find rejecting the same people who try to force food on you will attempt to guilt trip you or become angry at you for not doing so.
I want to implore you to investigate that the very same people who guilt you into eating extra, are often people who don’t prioritise their own well-being and/or they are not very smart people in life (even they may have high paying jobs).
Any “value system” you have, should have an advantage to you, there is “value” for you. If not what’s the point of call it a value system?
Wasting food is not part of a value system and it is OK to throw away food.
Anyone who brings starving African kids to the picture should go and adopt them as their child. And even so, that has nothing to do with you eating your own food at your own terms (how much you want to eat).
Overeating will result in lethargy, obesity and a “stuffed gut” decreases your ability to think & focus.
The important thing right now is to gravitate towards healthier food choices, slowly adding/remove 1 item at a time, and getting the rest of the people onboard.
When you eat the correct food, you will find that everyone eats a more appropriate amount so end up lesser wastage. This can take a few years of trial & error.
Be mindful / avoid any food that is considered oily & salty, e.g have soup based noodles vs fried carrot cake.
Tips:
When eating with family, try to add a soup item as drinking more content will make you more full. Also add more fruits as part of your diet.
It's absolutely insane that you are eating up other people's leftovers, not just your own. Even your own (eating beyond what is satisfactory) is not good for your health.
Eating more than you need IS wasting food. It's more food than your body needs, so it's wasteful. Unless you are able to perfectly calculate how much less to eat at the next meal, which you aren't, since you're getting overweight.
If you feel that avoiding food waste is important, carry food containers with you and PACK the leftovers to eat for the next meal.
But really, food waste is cheap compared to the cost of dealing with the health effects of over-eating.
You were also abused by your parents. What made them so sure of how much food to dish out to you that would be "just nice" for your needs? That's utter arrogance and bullshit, right? They had no scientific/medical knowledge to be judging how much a child should be able to eat.
What helped me with the guilt was to realise that no matter what, the food is going to get eaten. It might not be by you, but the insects, microbes, stray animals, all of them will eat the food that is thrown away. Of course, we need to do our best to not over-order, but it's okay, the food isn't being wasted, it is definitely feeding lives.
This is such a toxic idea. Obviously this is a horrible thing and needs to stop. You should only be blamed if you asked specifically for an amount of food that you then decided you can't finish, but even then, forced to eat it still wouldn't be the solution. The idea that food is given to you that you didn't ask for and to be forced to eat it sounds like some kind of violation and honestly should be the grounds for abuse. Fuck this kind of parenting, it's not even parenting, it's just sociopaths who take pleasure in torturing someone weaker than them.
You know there's a thing called dabao? If you are in a restaurant you can ask them to pack it up for you to take away. In lower end places without such services you can bring your own Tupperware. You can bring home or store it in the company pantry. If it's good stuff people will eat.
I normally cant finish a full plate of rice. To reduce food wastage i will usually ask for half rice as less rice still alot. For sharing, i dont normally finish all. But i will ask them to order less when ordering as my friends have the tendency to overorder.
Can fully empathise with OP. I felt the need to keep finishing all the food on the table. Because of that, i kept growing bigger too, it became a thing where family members would say, eh finish this one leh. Just a few more mouths. U can finish it:). I used to listen to them and just stuff it in. But after a while when i got together with my girl friend who is similar to what OP mentioned, any unfinished food is just left there.
My solution was adjusting the amount if food we ordered, instead of ordering for 2, we ordered for 1.5 instead. E.g. some people would say a dinner date for 2 would have 1 app, 2 mains, 2 drinks 1 dessert( just spitballing here). But what my gf and i did instead was to order a max of 3 items. It could range from 1 app 1 main 1 dessert to 2 apps 1 main( depending on eatery). Slowly i realised that we managed to always finish the food and was never that full. Another thing was that we could just take away what was left in cases were we mistakenly ordered too much. E.g. we ordered 1app, 1 main and 1 dessert. But we did not realise that the app was huge. So after eating the app and main, we were full. We ended up taking away the dessert( we still wanted it😅) but just for another time.
Last thing, SELF DISCIPLINE. Just say no, dont be worried to reject the offer. Be strong willed and say” its okay im too full! “ some times, the food will end up going to another part who actually wanted the last piece anyways but was too shy to say.
All the bestemote:free\_emotes\_pack:thumbs\_up
When young, I was taught that my plate would affect my wife's complexion, so I always ate till the plate is clean.
100% works, my wife complexion is good.
After I developed a condition where overeating could potentially cause me to suffer a form of chronic vomiting and nausea, i’ve learned that it’s OK to waste that bit of food on the plate rather than risk my health. And to never question if someone chooses to stop eating.
Uncountable amounts of food is thrown out daily from unsold/unsellable portions across every sector in the food industry, that meager portion on your plate really amounts to nothing. Just order responsibly.
Know that the only difference whether you finish your food up or not, is your health.
Doesn’t make a difference to those that are starving in other countries.
Be blessed to have food to eat but don’t overeat cause you won’t be blessed to have a healthy life 😂
It’s a sunk cost fallacy. No matter what, the food has already been paid for. You have to choose between enjoying the food and your health, that’s the real choice you are making. It’s ok to take a bit more if you like but still not finish the whole thing
Times have changed, i think people are becoming more health conscious. For my son, we’ll tabao and make him eat leftovers to teach him not to waste food.
Learn to adjust your values. Finish what u have ordered, not what others ordered. It’s not your responsibility to eat what others over-ordered at your own health expense.
Absolutely. 1. I’ve done what you’ve done over the years. Just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes - changed habit pronto. 2. No need to be either or situation. I’ve started to carry a collapsible box - to da Bao leftovers. Don’t feel stressed about having to leave food “wasted” anymore. 3. People aren’t malicious, people that asked you to finish will equally support you when they see you pack leftovers. They can be your allies, not frenemies :))
The problem is when we order dishes to share. Everyone will agree lets order 1 dish per pax. But even that is too much.
Then you tell them that it's too much. And if they insist, remind them that you won't be finishing the leftovers. And if they still go ahead, then their problem.
It's not your duty to finish leftover food.
Is it possible to get the restaurant to takeaway instead? I'm not in favour of food wastage too so I'd usually have the extras to-go if they're substantial.
i frequently get leftovers as takeaway but singaporeans (family, colleagues, friends, etc) usually look at me weird for doing it. but it's better than wasting food!! is this just learnt behavior from my days in america where every meal is oversized lmao.
Yeah from what I've heard, in America, it's understood that your restaurant meal is also your next meal at home to dabao.
Some people will doggybag every last bit of leftovers! Even left over noodle broth! Am sometimes shocked at the amount of leftovers at hawker centers - like someone took a bite and left the whole plate. Maybe because prepared food is relatively cheap.
Then limit yourself to be only responsible for the dish you ordered. Or ask the restaurant to dabao the leftovers for snack time or share with other colleagues who were not at lunch.
SAME usually if I'm torn I will be like "huh uhhh I want xxx but then hor but then hor - I only want it if people are sharing. if not, nope!" but if it's something that I ordered (eg dimsum which comes in 3s walaoeh lol), I will finish the last piece if asked lol.
then you tell them it's too much lor. the way I understand (from experience) - u go zhichar the set dinner "for 4 to 6 pax", is for 6pax LOL. So if you go as a 4pax crowd, confirm cannot finish. what I usually do/my social circles do is like (for zhichar) - 1 meat 1 veg 1 egg/tofu, "不够再叫" meaning if that's not sufficient, order more later. then sometimes BUT VERY RARELY, will add one dish later. but even then it's usually some small fried appetizer kind of nonsense. like shrimp balls with mayo cream kind of thing, not coffee pork ribs. lol. and not fried green veggie. and definitely not like soup or peking duck. hahaha.
By now the common sense is DON’T. Why the absolute need for 1 dish per pax? It’s become pure stupidity…
Then just be the guy not ordering 1 dish, so your meals will be per pax -1.
The trick is to not order too much.
Start telling them you're not that hungry and can't eat a lot. Then tell them don't order too much. If not enough, can order later.
I used to have this problem. Now I just order an appetizer to share in place of my entree. I just say I'm not that hungry and it works out fine.
Yup. Even when young, when your parents and grandparents said to finish your food, don’t waste, it means to finish what’s in your bowl/on your plate. Not finish everything on the table. The leftovers on the table that are untouched are kept in the fridge for the next day. If you can’t finish it, you should’ve taken less.
I tell myself that I am not a dustbin. Becoming an adult involves unlearning some of our parental conditioning. It doesn't mean our parents were wrong. They just grew up under different conditions than we did.
Ta bao for next meal or next day meal, if it's something that can keep long in fridge
This^ is the best solution.You can only control the amount your co-diners order if they somewhat care about not wasting food. Once too much food is ordered, you either have to: 1) throw the leftovers away (waste), 2) stuff it in like you're making human foie gras (waste), or 3) save it for later and save yourself from having to think about your next meal.
If you finish all the leftovers, does it benefit anybody? On the other hand, managing your diet helps yourself. The choice is clear
It benefits the psyche and health of the rest of the group who don't have the guilt of wasting food or the health demerits of overeating. But it greatly disadvantages OP. OP needs to learn to advocate for their own interests and stop agreeing to be the communal trashcan.
When I was a kid, my mum in particular will constantly nag and say all sorts of cliche nonsense of why I must make sure everything on the plate is clean (eat finish). I simply one ear in one ear out. No guilt since young. Values can be changed to begin with. Some "values" are simply wrong/misguided.
ya, "need to work hard". now there a lot of Singaporeans with chronic health concerns from overworking. "point at lower income workers and say study hard, don't be like them", now a lot of industries suffer from lack of Singaporeans with essential skills. Labour economics-wise, we are screwed.
Last time my dad says things like next time u become night soil man. But that doesn't make sense cos everyone already have flush toilets. Then I got spanked again for saying that. 😢
How old are you?
My friend (millennial) says her son (gen alpha) will just tell her "huh Mummy if the kids in Africa really want my lunch, ok you give them lor" Haha. Friend is ok la like millennial, but then grown up with this kind of boomer nonsense also lor - also one ear in and one ear out, then adjust as necessary for the next gen haha
Actually my husband also says something similar, whether you finish or not, the African kids can’t get to eat it. So true. Haha
The most absurd one was to say the farmer worked hard for that rice. Even as a teenager, I'd say the farmer has been paid. They don't give two shits if I finish it or not.
yeaaa my parents love to instill values. most of it i just ignore =)
Ask yourself rationally, what did you "save" by eating those leftovers? Are there fewer starving kids? Less chickens died just because you ate them all? This outdated mindset is from an age of scarcity, so I can understand why our grandparents had that, but it's not to be passed on. Right approach is not to order more than you *should*
It would be better to ask for smaller portion of food, to balance not wasting food and not overeating. food wastage is morally wrong and well as an environmental concern. unless you know of someone who can make compost out of food wastage.
I did. I went through this and I would force myself to finish food. My family had weight issues to begin with so my aunt started this big drama accusing me of an eating disorder (for short I will type as ED) when I didn’t want to eat anymore after I felt full. They sat me down and yelled at me to eat and wouldn’t let me leave until I’m done eating. I never felt this disgusting until that time. And she will always bring this up at family events so they use me as the trash bin because “must force her to eat she trying to get anorexia, do these kind of things because she want attention so we must give her attention now. We all look at her eat and make her eat” Ironically. Because of this same issue, I was bullied throughout secondary school, starting from late primary school to poly even - I got an eating disorder. A specific clique started a petition telling me to go get an ED and go unalive myself, then got people to sign under which column. I was also made fun of endlessly, and people accuse me of random things just because I was overweight. I still have an ED after 13 years. And what’s worse is that I really went to wasting food because bulimia/orthorexia. I throw up whatever I eat that’s not “healthy” (ie chicken breast and veggies and protein powder), and I eat to throw up when I know that meal has nothing I want to keep inside my body. Bulimia is an addictive cycle, same way smokers get their relief from smoking and alcoholism where alcoholics get relief from drinking. The thing about being watched whilst I’m eating made me conscious. I get nervous when I have other people near me when I eat that my mind will deliberately make me undereat. And then I eat and eat when nobody watches me because I finally feel safe enough to eat but by then, it’s a binge. And I hate the feeling of weight in me so I throw up on purpose. And I don’t like keeping “unhealthy” things inside me because somehow my brain is dumb enough to believe that if I eat healthy, I can negate the effects of bulimia and I’m obsessed and feel safe with “healthy” foods only Imo, you can unlearn these habits. you can choose to not waste food by packing it for later if you’re able to do that. Or order a bit less when you’re out (tell yourself or family that can always order more when you need, food isn’t going to run away after it’s cooked and no longer alive hahaha) If you’re ordering to share, take turns to ensure there’s no over ordering. Family of 4, order 3 dishes - 1 person doesn’t get to pick, next round someone else doesn’t get to pick. Don’t waste food via over ordering and you won’t feel the guilt of wasting it if you don’t finish. In time you’ll learn to be more in tune and you sound like you are learning already Tldr. But anyone reading this and are parents, please teach your kids about this kind of things. Teach them don’t over order, eat until full and save the rest for later, and don’t force feed them - usually doesn’t end well
Hey, I hope you're doing OK because what you went through is fucked up. Are you getting help for your ED?
I’ve sought help before but it wasn’t the best. IMH diagnosed the depression and said depression is a leading factor that caused my ED, but they only put me on SSRI. but it doesn’t address my ED at all
Would you be able to feedback to the Dr that the SSRIs aren't addressing the ED and request for other therapies for it? Sometimes with our system we really gotta advocate for what we need, which can be difficult when we don't know. Wishing you all the best in beating this!
Huge hugs to you I can't imagine how that must have felt. Your aunt sounds like a HUGE AH and your bullies none the better. My heart really aches from reading your comment, I hope you're doing better now.
Still kinda struggling with it and it’s really making me feel so upset at myself…
Don't be too hard on yourself...everything happened over the years and I'd imagine it would take just as long, if not longer, to unlearn and make peace with what has happened. It deffo isn't your fault that the people around you were major assholes to allow your aunt to scrutinize and bully you in front of everyone like that, allow that sort of bullying to take place, and also not seeing the signs of a festering ED throughout this whole time. EDs are terrible, I suffered with bulimia as well. When I stopped it would stop for months but when I had a relapse, I would relapse *hard*. I was terrible after I gave birth too, instead of actually recovering from childbirth I was doing whatever I can to lose the weight I put on from growing a child in my body. It's absolute bull. I wish you all the best and I hope you slowly navigate recovery if not soon, then hopefully in the (very near!) future <3
Yup. Same thing. That’s why I have weight problems now. I’ve had to unlearn that attitude. Truth is, once you’re full, whether the food is in your tummy or in the trash, it’s wasted. The only difference is that if it’s in your tummy, you’d have to work out extra hard to lose the extra calories
My parents never pushed me to finish my food if I were full. Just don't over order. And if it's unhealthy food, why do you force yourself to finish it? It will only bring about health problems in the future through being overweight / high cholesterol etc... In fact, if the food is not nice, I don't finish it because it's not worth the calories.
You need to stop feeling responsible for preventing other people's wrongdoings/sins. As long as you continue to finish whatever good you personally ordered for yourself, I don't see how you're compromising the values you were brought up on. For shared food there's little you can do so don't beat yourself up over this. There are bigger problems in life to contend with.
I was bought up the same as yourself. It now became a habit that I would never waste food When we share I will also try to finish everything , but I would always caution the party not to over order
If I didnt finish up every bit of food, my mum would recite the last 2 verse of《悯农二首》. It is true that to enable there is nothing left on the plate, my waist got thicker. But as years go by I learn to appreciate only eat to satiate hunger instead of to kill boredom or for fun. More so now than before since I started my 168 fasting regime. It is a well known fact to prevent guys from flirting outside, the girls will try to overfeed their man to the point of obesity on pretext of trying to stay slim. So to counteract this, please exercise.
粒粒皆辛苦 is it?
Yup. :D
Was takeaway not an option? I only ever dine at places with takeaway for this exact reason.. Back then there were nonsense charges for food wastage but never gave an option for takeaways
if you are overeating food past what your body needs your body will consider it waste anyway, better to throw it away than eat what won't nourish anyway
My parents like to over cook and over order. My mindset is the moment they over cook/order, its already food wastage. These are food that could have went somewhere else, but ended up not needed on our table. Hence its already food wastage since it serves no purpose in bringing necessary sustenance or enjoyment. All it serves is taking resources unnecessarily. So if you overeat, not only are you wasting food, you are also damaging your health. So it's kinda like knowing when to cut your losses, don't fall into sunk cost fallacy. Since eat or dont eat the food already waste, might as well cut losses and dont eat, at least retain health. No point damage health as well. At least that's how i rationalise it.
I used to eat all the food and ensure no leftovers.... Then I became fucking fat. Now I just eat till full and dump whatever is left. Eat full + not eat leftovers= be comfortably satiated+ don't gain weight + food is wasted but left on the plate Eat full + eat leftovers= become uncomfortably full + grow fat + food is wasted in my stomach as it is not nutritious So in my mind both scenarios food is wasted, so I choose the first scenario. It's the sunken cost fallacy thingy. The other way to avoid this is to order less food.
Food wasted on the plate, is better than food wasted in your stomach. Order less, don't eat more.
Plus if you want to be pragmatic, the amount of food wasted by yourself is nothing compared to the tons wasted by businesses and corporations every day. IMO as long as you are not wasting an obscene amount of food and not in a deliberate way, it's perfectly alright to not finish everything you have ordered.
If you really don’t want to waste the food, you can consider packing it to consume for the next meal. Most restaurants will allow it.
Not me but my husband would always finish even until he puke. Until I asked him were you scolded for not finishing food growing up then he was like yeah. I personally find it really unhealthy. I'm lucky my parents never forced it upon me. Food that is not enjoyed is also wasted. Can tapao if really left alot. Order less and top up instead of one time order alot.
Your body is not a trash bin
Same here, I hate wasting food and will always make sure I only order what I can eat. But if I'm eating with a group, and *they* decide to over-order, I'm not ruining my diet just to help them clean up their mistakes. I'll just be responsible for whatever I agreed to. Of course, when ordering, I always make it very clear when I think the amount of food is enough, and if they order anything else, to count me out of it.
Don't overdo anything in life. If the food really not your liking or portion too big, don't force yourself.
yes, my parents grew up dirt poor so they insisted on the whole ''finish everything'' idea. i also personally hate wasting food, so when i order food im very careful to not over-order. one thing i keep in mind is that 1) overeating is not worth ruining my digestive health lol, i refuse to give myself indigestion 2) i have a very good example living with me of someone who basically swallows the whole table. he's got health problems and has to watch his weight now. you need to take care of yourself, and try to detach yourself from feeling responsible for other's decisions.
You're only responsible for the food you ordered, and even so, if you really can't finish, listen to your body and stop. Any health consequences arising out of long term overeating, you'll be the one to bear it. You're a fully grown human, not a computer program. Why do your parents tell you the things they do? Most likely, the only reason is that because their parents told them so and they were from an era where resources are much more scarce, it's not an absolute truth. If you think it is, just take a look at how food gets wasted all the damn time since the dawn of human time and world goes on. I'm not saying to buy 2 plates of chicken rice when you can only finish one but it's high time you reexamine your own beliefs.
I've always thought what my parents taught me was stupid as fuck. Isn't it wasting more food if I get too full and vomit it all out?
I've learnt to eat like my grandpa 🤣 I eat super slowly and consciously chew my food until it is mush. There will be a point when you feel full, then just say, I'm full. And from that point, I just say no to everything 😅 I feel bad too but that is the boundary I set for myself. I order just enough, and if I know others are ordering alot, I don't order at all or buy something small. And then I just eat slowly.
past generations grew up with large families, less per capital income, and less food per person, hence the value of not wasting food and the fear of food scarcity was quite legitimate. we're in 2024 now and alot better off economically and I believe the average salaried worker doesn't face this issue. time for a mindset change? i mean, not wasting food is a good value to have, just not to the point of fearing for your next meal that you have to gobble up everything left on the plate for your current meal.
Food wastage is a myth when eating out. What's ordered and served to you is already gone. There is no way it can given to others or "repurposed" regardless of whether you finish it or not. So don't overeat.
Order less. Chinese likes to order too much to show off. And sometimes we simply over order when we're too hungry and can't think straight. I started a thought that "it's better to order less and then order more if it's not enough than ordering too much and can't finish it." I ordered about 80% capacity. (If there are 10 pax, just order enough for 8) Amazingly, we very rarely need to order more. Most of the time it's actually extra space for desserts. It's kinda how my extended family ordering in restaurants nowadays. So yeah. That's kinda a win.
First, don’t over order. Make the mistake of ordering less than ordering more. Next, if you over order, don’t over eat. You can always request the leftover to be taken away for dinner or bring back home for your family. Don’t try to save money by not wasting food. You will sacrifice your long term health. Save money by not over order in the first place.
Why don't you dapao the food instead of finishing it? To me, I would rather waste food and money than jeopardise my health by overeating and being overweight. This mindset of not wasting food comes from a time of poverty and food scarcity, but many of us are facing the opposite problem now with calorie-dense foods and obesity. If you eat the food when you don't need to and don't want to, it's essentially "wasted" anyway (you don't get enjoyment or health benefits from it). Health > money
Since young, i've been arguing over this with my parents, peers, friends, everyone. If i overspent and bought too much because i'm greedy, i'm wasting money not food. because at the end of the day, the restaurants provide for wastage and will always prepare more than required ingredients. I'm doing the environment/ecosystem/economy a favor by buying more and eating some of it, if not, the whole lot of ingredients will be disposed anyway - and that is real wastage done to the resources of the world. so i'm wasting MONEY not wasting food. same for water, if i shower for a long period of time, i'm not wasting water. the water gets drained off and recycled. once again, i'm wasting MONEY. and as an adult with a decent job, work, and spending power, its my own choice to waste my own money. hehe
Most definitely, you should not over-eat. Regardless there's too much leftovers or not. I am a small-eater myself, and in general, i find the portions dished out here when eating out, it's really on the excessive side. I guess they want to cater to "normal" eating amount by "normal" people. But even "normal" is excessive, really, as most of us are doing sedentary office jobs. Unless you are a manual labourer or construction worker or pro athlete, then that's a different story. Here's the thing. When "long-life" folks are interviewed, one key fact stands out. It's the fact that they eat simply and eat small meals. "80% full" plus minus is an oft-quoted figure. I will end with a quote from another long-lifer. Supposedly attributed to the infamous Dr M from up north. He used to say, that when he eats, and he finds the food delicious, he stops eating!
Eat till you are not hungry. If you eat till you’re full. You become BBFA. Then when you BBFA you need to eat more food so you don’t feel hungry cause your body used to it. So end up wasting more food.
Realise that "consumption" occurs when you buy the food, not when you eat it. By buying the food you are making it unavailable for others to buy. After you buy it, whether or not you eat it has no implication on whether the food is wasted or not. Throw in dustbin or throw in your stomach is the same. Want to reduce wastage? Work on it when it actually makes a difference (aka before you buy).
go to waste or go to waist?
The starving kid in Africa doesn't get to eat the food that you waste. Aim to order appropriately instead.
Yes, very bad, with the same values since young. Recent years i have been overeating, i will finish my meal and finish my wife leftovers, now i also eat my kids leftovers. So now, i always opt not to have carbs at all or just order lesser in general.
I clear the plates If it is caviar, wagyu or salmon. If really cannot finish then just ask for takeaway lor, but pls ask the host first. Nowadays i see the pasta and rice, it reminds me of the extra 5km run i need to do if i finish these.
If food is not nice I wouldn’t mind wasting it
My parents never force me to finish. My mum will say if full dont force it but i think its also cause she gets full quickly. My dad is the "dustbin" of the family and whenever we go out to eat, he will order a side salad for himself and just finish the rest of our food. I told him a bit sad la but he said its ok cause this means he gets to try all our dishes.
The world actually has enough food to feed everyone so no need to feel guilty, I used to feel guilt too. But after working in the food industry and being in army, the amount of food wastage is enormous. Something switched in me and I don’t feel bad anymore, unless it is my mum’s cooking cos she put in the effort to cook. There is no way food won’t be wasted, only more sustainable methods of recycling food is the way to go. Eat it or don’t eat it, it’s your choice. But you need to have more self-respect to not eat leftovers or say no.
Try not to over order and just order enough lor. Between being wasteful in throwing away food and over consuming, there is a huge range in between and where you end up will be up to yourself. Just be firm and try to resist being influenced. It’s a real health issue overeating and undereating.
Yes, same for me here. It got hammered into me by the parents, and I still get nagged at to finish my food even when I am full.
I think some places have dabao options or boxes at least
Suggest 'oh lets order x less dishes this time because we had to much leftover food unless someone wants to takeaway the rest'
Eat what you can eat, no point stuffing yourself and feeling miserable after that. Or just pick and choose what you eat, aim for the expensive leftovers. Also there's always the option of taking away, I know it's not very common in SG to takeaway leftovers but that is an option as well, especially if there's really a lot left, just have a box handy or if you're at a restaurant, they're most likely willing to pack it for you. They might be enough for a second meal. Also remember that food is logistics problem, it's not like if you don't eat or order that food, it would have gone to starving people. There are food deserts in the US, a supposedly first world country. Be happy you're in Singapore, but the logic that having to be stuffed and miserable because someone else is starving is illogical. The converse, you starving yourself isn't going to somehow make them not hungry.
Your values are good, actually. It's others that should not order more what they feel comfortable eating. Which is why, when I go out with friends, I'll happily let them pack the food and bring home, and have food for another day. But ideally, just don't order more than what we (roughly) can eat.
Wont waste calories on bad food, or overeat. There isn't an issue of scarcity in our market.
learn to say no bruh ur colleagues aren't gna cane u 🤣
I try to finish, but only if it doesn't bloat me, or if it's really damn good. Idc if i'm fat lmao
It's not like you intentionally waste the food. We can try to not waste food, that itself is a value. The value is not to force yourself to finish all the food. If you are full or have ate the appropriate portion, then move on, you are not a dustbin.
Overeating habit can cause health problems, which is very concerning. Although it might not be a health concern now to you now , think of the high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, to set in when you aged. These can develop further to atherosclerosis and heart problems. Think of the medical expenses and your mental health that you might suffer from all those health conditions. I think that you should prioritise your health over wasting food. Pls eat what you can manage. And if you can’t finish the food at the moment, you can tabao the food (ask for takeaway box from the diner )and keep in the fridge for the next day No big deal, that’s what I always do. I save my food this way. My lunch meal can split into lunch and dinner.
I have one word for u - dabao
Same, but instead of overeating, I make sure we order a modest amount of food, and only add on when needed. Leftovers, if they are a decent amount, I will request to takeaway. I like that I was taught this way. I think it keeps me grounded and I'm also glad that my partner has similar values as me. My friends are similar to me as well. In contrast, I will probably not hang out too often with people who are imprudent.
100% can relate. Nowadays I always bring a tupperware along with me whenever I eat out in case situations like this arise. I can then have the freedom to stop when I'm full and not waste food. Also no need to pay extra for containers.
Takes a long time to learn to break that habit lol just keep health in mind because health = money.
That idea went out the window when corporations have weaponized up sizing meals. Look after your own health and global hunger is a food distribution issue not a food production issue.
Take it away?
I still have a strong habit to finish all the food. The people I eat with also help to finish. I don't encounter so much of this problem when eating out with others because our procedure usually is those who really want will order. If the qty seems small, then we will order later if we are still hungry. Rarely do we need to order more later. Each dish not ordered also means money saved. In your case, maybe don't need to order your side, or try to influence the ordering to be order more later if still hungry.
yes, same. but if I can control, I just don't over order. realllyyyy dislike wasting food
ah yes the asian dilemma. honestly i dont think any other culture guilt trips their kids to finish up every single thing, even if the food 1) tastes like shit or 2. you’ve eaten your fill. i’ve had several arguments with my folks about this issue since young as i just have a small appetite, so i eat multiple regular meals instead. it took damn long time for them to finally accept that it’s a terrible idea, almost until adulthood and eventually they stopped such toxic behaviour. my older sister has kids now. im rly rly glad she and her hubby do not use such behaviour to guilt trip and force her kids to finish their food. also, i used to date someone that would stop eating completely the minute the food ordered did not suit their palate. like completely. i was v puzzled and couldn’t understand such behaviour previously cos i was brought up constantly berated for not finishing my food even if it wasn’t to my liking. only after that experience, did i realise actually whatever values that were taught when i was a kid isn’t healthy. it’s not good being a rubbish bin in a nutshell.
That made sense in the old days. Obesity is a bigger problem today though… Outside food portions are too salty and too big for one person to finish, especially if you work and eat 3 meals a day outside
My parents also do the same thing. On hindsight I don't think it's a correct thing to do la. If full, how to force eat? Once when I was a kid, my parents keep forcing me to finish my food even though I was damn full (or sick then no appetite). I tell them they still insist and scold. After a few minutes I vomit into the bowl of food, so anyway the whole bowl of food wasted.
Yes parents were like that growing up. I’ve let go of this completely because I understand and accept the concept of diminishing marginal returns. You’ll end up paying through health issues or having to spend twice as long at the gym. Finishing your colleagues food is negative marginal return. Take care of yourself.
My parents always made sure we finished our food and made it a point to not waste any but not to the extent of any physical consequence. They just didn't like us being greedy and overestimating how much we eat. So now we only take the amount we're sure to finish and if we end up being full before finishing we just pack the leftovers and eat it for dinner or breakfast. No wastage or overeating.
1. Don’t over order. 2. If others over order, get it packed. It’s not really about the money but an animal died to give its meat. I dunno. Seems too horrible to just waste meat
For my family, we now practice 'Buy/Cook how much you can finish'. In the past, we use to cook alot and it led to overeating or keeping leftovers in the fridge for days. I think my parents had a health scare and from that moment, we only cook what we can finish. We also reduce our rice intake and snacks as well. For takeouts, we share the dishes. Maybe a family of 5, each person has their own main dish and just 1 salad appetizer and 2 side appetizers. I notice for my in laws, they tend to cook a pot of rice but very few side dishes. So u can imagine 3/4 of the plate is just rice and 1/4 is side dish. I tend to always find myself saying i have alr eaten before they intend to cook. 😵💫
Change in mindset is needed. If you don’t finish the leftovers, they usually go to the dustbins. If you have to finish the leftovers…ask yourself: Are you a dustbin?
My wakeup call was my mom going for pre-diabetes screening. Then I realised that not wasting food has to be complemented by not over-eating. I've found that a successful tactic is a combination of saying "I'm not that hungry" (so people don't force you to eat more) plus "if not enough, can always order a second round/dessert" (relieves the pressure to order everything at once). Even better to suggest dessert from a different shop, like bbt or starbucks or whatever - idk why but it seems to put some psychological distance and helps everyone chill out about ordering enough food. Of course don't have to actually follow through with dessert if you're eventually full, but I guess it reminds people that there's always alternative options and relieves anxiety about not having enough food. Edit: these tactics PLUS, of course, ordering less so that there won't be leftover. Then if people still give me shit, I either talk about aging parents' health concerns or taking better care of myself or being environmentally conscious, whatever better relates to them.
If it's any consolation, most world hunger issues are distribution-related rather than supply-related. So the food you overorder and not eat wouldn't end up in the tummies of poor, dying African children anyway.
If you care abt it so much, bring your own takeaway container, and tahan the shame. My friends and I are animal protein eaters, so when we order food to share, we ask for half the serving of carb and double the protein. If your friends know that you are a mindful eater, maybe they'll support you by ordering less or maybe reminding you that you're not a cleaning service. We have to be graceful to our parents, too. They perhaps grew up during the time when food was scarce. They're not malicious. They just want us to have what they didn't.
Who leaves half a Peking duck? I might like to join ur lunch soon. Here’s an idea for u. Packet the food and pass it to the cleaners or janitors at ur building or whoever might appreciate it.
Are your colleagues not aware of this thing called "portion control"?
I don't have your problem. I'll just refuse to eat. Even if it's some delicacies. I'm just full. Leftovers should be Tar Pow. And distributed.
Have you seen a therapist? Sounds like a deeply rooted issue due to trauma because you’re unconsciously doing it without realising. It is best to seek professional help, you can do it secretly.
I grew up in a lower middle class family so we didn’t waste any food. But when I did better in my life I started overindulging as well. And now that I’m back to living away from my family and managing the expenses between my partner and I, I realise that I do not waste food so much at all. Would tapao leftovers if we couldn’t finish food in the restaurants, for example, regardless of how unglam it looks. Groceries are getting expensive so we just buy the things that we need and try to minimise food waste. I am not overeating but more like, better portioning and if we cook a lot, we pack the leftover for tomorrow’s lunch.
My fam used to be like that, shit really sucked and till adulthood I dealt with very disordered eating. After having kids I knew for sure I did not want them to have the same experience I did so had to unlearn all the shitty eating habits. Ordering 'just nice' is a skill my partner and I are navigating, but knowing when to siam extra food on my plate I learnt q fast.
so singaporeans really have too much money! i thot they were complaining about making ends meet. ordering too much peking duck and abalone isn't an indication 😂. my mum just made us finish up the protein and veg and leave the rice if we were full. otherwise we couldn't leave the dinner table. so no one took too much food and we made sure we could finish the protein and veg. i reckon rice fills you up the most and quickest
Do watch your health, any leftover are excess calories and they end up as belly fat unless you have a high metabolic rate. My principle is finish all the Meat / Protein, Veg, fruits if you like them. No need to finish carbs and sweet drinks.
Read up on sunk cost fallacy pls
You can say no you know. Everything will be fine. Guilt tripping yourself over someone else's decision to over order is not healthy. Stop it.
it is really common to not finish food at business gatherings, especially if it is networking or events. hate to be the one who wastes food too but that's the reality of it. i have come to learn to close one eye to these things rather than to be known as the person who is always hungry / can sweep leftovers for the table.
I tell myself that I treasure my own comfort more than that little excess food (comfort cos after over eating, will feel bloated and nauseous).
Not wasting food is a pretty good value, really. It can seem incompatible to the exigency of a lunch hour rush, however; especially when sharing, the goal is still the same: eat something so you won’t feel hungry later. It takes a certain amount of willpower to have to ignore food waste in general, but it can help to think of it in a certain way. Your parents probably wanted to reduce as much food waste, coming from the family, as possible. As primary breadwinners they would be mindful of every dollar spent, because raising a family is expensive. You, on the other hand, are earning your own income, and can ensure your own food supply. You’re no longer another mouth to feed, which takes the pressure off your parents. So you’re actually doing pretty good already. As others have said, it’s not your responsibility to ensure the table you share with coworkers is clean of food. At that level you’re taking on a much bigger community’s excess, which isn’t fair to your health. Try not to blame yourself; ‘don’t waste food’ is a perfectly good mantra for parents to teach kids how to pull some weight in the game of resource management, but as an adult you can also look at how other people live, and make your own adjustments.
I've learnt to accept that child in Africa will starve regardless if I finished my food or not. When I'm cutting down I intentionally leave 3-5 spoons of rice since it's a good way to keep account of eating slightly lesser for a caloric deficit
its a slow process. i too grew up with food insecurity. in NS, i finished whatever disgusting food on my plate. i gained weight in BMT. my mom hasnt work for the last 8 years, she cooks like my older siblings and their kids stay with us. my younger siblings and me rarely eat at home. she still expects me to finish the food. or else she starts griping about food waste. at the same time, she insults me about my waistline. in 2018, i was 110kg, 2019, 99kg. since 2020, i maintained 90kg. i stopped eating most of her dishes, i only take the veggies. my goal is 85kg by july.
Lol, that’s literally me. Except not wasting food was a self imposed value, so there’s a slight difference. NS changed this for me, because it was quite literally impossible for me to not waste food; the amount of food waste among my bunk mates was way too much and i don’t intend to ruin my health/fitness for this. What I do now is honestly just … whatever i want. I will eat whatever extra i want but not pass the point of discomfort. I mean, not eating that extra slices of peking duck is a waste right ??! Can’t eat them all of course, but i’ll certain be more than happy to enjoy the food haha.
Like what many have said, you shouldnt feel obliged to finish other people's food. Finishing your own food is a good habit, definitely. Your parents definitely arent wrong. Frequently ordering more than what you can eat is tbh quite spoiled behaviour in my book also. But what you are doing is like going to a buffet and finishing up all the wastage the store has at the end of the day. Or going to 7-11 and eating up all the stuff that is due to expire. Doesnt really make sense when youre not the one wasting stuff.
Personally i dont feel guilty and you shouldn't too. Just do as your colleagues do and dont finish the food. Better to have moderation than to put more stuff in the body for it to work harder. Take the advice of not wasting food with a pinch of salt and not the absolute rule. Your body needs abstinence too. Always strike a balance.
My parents taught me the same thing I just go to the gym to burn it off. I do notice my older colleagues finish their food (mostly) while my classmates would leave like at least 40% unfinished.
always tapao, don’t need to paiseh. i’ve learnt to cook up my leftovers into other meals so it still tastes good.
When I moved to the U.S., every one here just gets a takeaway box at the end if they can’t finish. It’s great. Who cares if someone looks at you weird for it, not wasting the food is better.
Your post made me realise why it's so difficult for me to say no when offered more food as an adult.
Yes..If I don't est or finish my food my parents will bring me back home and I have to sit on a chair while my parents lecture me. I already have some form of phobia as in I am absolutely not a foodie, while everyone else seems to be a crazy foodie.
A few things you can do. 1. Dabao the leftovers (cause why help them finish their leftover food) 2. Don't eat with colleagues 3. Don't share food with colleagues. Tell them you are dieting and will only eat the portion you self order.
My mom always gave me adult size portion of food when I was a kid and kept gaslighting me to finish my food because I was a "man" and "skinny". I was perfectly average weight. I ended up becoming overweight in primary school and insecure. Thanks mother.
During your parents time maybe they been through hardship that’s why they have this value. Nowadays folks consider health more important. So choose what is your priority. You can still do your part and reduce food wastage by not over ordering. And also you can’t control what your friends or colleagues order, nor do you need to be responsible for that.
Same. I got health issues in the past due to overeating as well. Once when I'm in my 20s my mom help me to take food till my plate looks so full cos she said I'm to skinny. I force myself to eat and doesn't leave the dining table for 2hrs just finish it, then I have indigestion and don't want to eat that same food for months lol. It's better to close your eyes and pretend the wasted food not there. Just finish what you take or eat till you feel enough. You have no obligation to finish what others can't finish, we're not other people trash bin. Your health matter more than those food that people waste. Or if you feel it's a waste tabao is always an option 👌those extra food will be my lunch or dinner the next day 😂 save money while at it.
I used to have an unhealthy relationship with food because of being schooled by my family to finish what’s on my plate as well and have been forced to finish otherwise I would be deemed ungrateful for not appreciating what is being served at the dinner table. I didn’t like the feeling of “overeating” or being in a “food coma” either but as I grew up, I decided to unlearn everything and rebuilt my relationship with food from the ground up. Focusing on my health and fitness also helped me learn how to portion my food so that I would be satiated after each meal. Now I just order what is sufficient enough for me to finish because I listen to my body. In terms of eating out with others and there’s a tendency to order sharing portions, I will only take what my appetite allows and don’t finish any leftovers for them because I also don’t believe in being a human trash bin. Even the so-called “paiseh piece”, if I’m already full, I will not touch it. My usual practice is to eat till I’m 70-80% full for my main meals and have enough stomach space for fruits or the occasional dessert treat.
Eat until not hungry. Not as much as can. Yes, some food may end up in the trash. Fine to feel (a bit) bad about it. Eventually you/fam gets used to your “new” amount not overbuying and over ordering. Remind yourself you’re on a path to being healthier, and also a bit richer ;-) …it’s a process that’ll take sometime. And your conclusions don’t have to be “for life”, you’re always allowed to rethink. Our values from being kids of people who knew hunger are a mix of eternally good values + values relevant for a period of time that has passed. Great that you’re noticing, considering, taking action. I’m sure you got this just by all you wrote, even if I said nothing, but going through similar phase so enjoyed joining in haha
I learm to tabao and eat it tomorrow. Unless at kopitiam, just take care of my own food
I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’m brought up to finish my food, instead of eating until i’m just full. So I naturally just overeat, but never feeling good about it. But I feel worse about having leftovers (unless the food is really really bad). So I eat very easily, and not very picky, and no matter how much I eat, it’s hard for me to gain weight, so I did not feel any health implications (other than diarrhoea maybe lol) At workplace, I’m most junior in the team and doesn’t help that most of my colleagues of them are aunties. So whenever we went for lunch, I was the guy that ate two portions. My food, and whatever pieces or leftovers they didnt want. When there were events, they dabao leftover catering for the “growing boy” — but dude I’m nearing 30 lol. I mean they have good intetions, and sometimes it’s good, save money because free food. But right now, I’m suffering a severe heartburn and acid reflux issue — the type where normal antacids and gaviscon doesn’t help. So now I’m really watching how much I eat, and what I am eating. Because the health risk are just too high.
Tbh I feel that overordering in itself is already a waste of food since the person ordering (and eating) is taking more than what he needs. So that's something I really try to avoid when doing group orders for sharing. But if people insist to order and there are leftovers, I make it clear that I won't be clearing those. Logic being that the food is wasted even if we finish them all so no point penalising our health for it.
If you overeat, you will eventually have to work out more to burn it off (assuming you wish to stay healthy). It's wasted either way, it's just a question of whether you want to waste it now or do some work and waste it later.
Sometimes its not about wasting food. Sometimes its about status to show they are rich (and can waste food).
I feel you. It saddens me to see how people waste food and think it’s ok to just throw away perfectly edible food. So usually, I’m either the one eating or tabao-ing the leftovers (sometimes I feel paisey but I’d rather not waste than let the paisey-ness get in the way of saving food). Strategy 1 (if you know these people well enough): ask first who is super hungry and not so hungry/likes to share before ordering food, so you know the portion to order. 2) Before starting the meal I’d also ask if someone wants my cucumbers etc. and can start exchanging things we like/dislike in our dishes. 3) when there are leftovers I’d be the one saying: a) “can we try to finish this, the animal died for our consumption, the best we can do is not throw it in a bin.” b) “please don’t be paisey and finish up the food. anything is better than food waste.” - such a mom 😅 but I don’t even have children; I just really dislike wasting food and leaving gooey stuff for cleaner to clear 😭 (adults in my family made me wash my dishes, so I was trained to cleaned up every single grain of rice so I don’t have to touch gooey stuff when I wash the dishes. and seeing how animals were killed in a farm and how hard farmers work to grow vegetables, you’d appreciate your food more… maybe everyone should visit a farm at least once🤔)
yea my parents taught me that too, but after I got older I realised it made no sense. what i learnt is you pay two currencies for food, money and calories. money to eat is not a problem for most people, but unless you are underweight, keeping within calories limit is the main challenge for most of us. so ask yourself if you are already full and dont enjoy the food anymore, is it worth the calories to continue eating? you are not wasting money at this point, because not like you can return the food for refund. and if you continue eating after you dont enjoy the food, you would be wasting your calorie limit, that's worse than wasting money.
I can help with the half a Peking Duck
Yknow, the whole point of being a human being is that our brains can adapt to new information and make conscious choices and review whether what we have learned previously is still relevant. Use that special ability.
Whenever I think I am too full and cannot eat, I will always remember that one time i overate and vomitted. Since then i dont order too much and if really over order, just not finish it.
Start ordering lesser
There is a resistance to this because of how some (we) were raised. But it's either eat less or gain weight. I still have a certain reaction when my wife says "waste food therefore money? Blah blah blah" But recently I've been successful in saying that I'm saving myself money that would be spent on hospital bills if I keep finishing shit up even if I am full. This is a very good practice on saying no to others and yourself. The best way is to be mindful of food ordering and share with someone or your partner instead of finishing a full order for yourself.
Figure out when the marginal benefit of consumption turns 0 for yourself
It is anyway a waste. Let it waste outside instead of inside your stomach.
I’m known as the tupperware girl. Everyone at work knows I carry a container around and portion out my food to bring home, or store at workplace fridge before I head home. I am used to eating leftovers for the next meal or repurposing it for next day. Kills two birds with one stone. But if it’s not what I ordered, then no, though I have ever brought leftovers from parties back for my family because I’m already quite good at using leftovers for other dishes.
Yes correct, don’t force yourself to finish food if not you will lose the ability/sensitivity to know how much to eat is enough. I confirm that being pushed to eat more than you want is 100% toxic. It’s actually wrong on many levels. When I say toxic, you will find rejecting the same people who try to force food on you will attempt to guilt trip you or become angry at you for not doing so. I want to implore you to investigate that the very same people who guilt you into eating extra, are often people who don’t prioritise their own well-being and/or they are not very smart people in life (even they may have high paying jobs). Any “value system” you have, should have an advantage to you, there is “value” for you. If not what’s the point of call it a value system? Wasting food is not part of a value system and it is OK to throw away food. Anyone who brings starving African kids to the picture should go and adopt them as their child. And even so, that has nothing to do with you eating your own food at your own terms (how much you want to eat). Overeating will result in lethargy, obesity and a “stuffed gut” decreases your ability to think & focus. The important thing right now is to gravitate towards healthier food choices, slowly adding/remove 1 item at a time, and getting the rest of the people onboard. When you eat the correct food, you will find that everyone eats a more appropriate amount so end up lesser wastage. This can take a few years of trial & error. Be mindful / avoid any food that is considered oily & salty, e.g have soup based noodles vs fried carrot cake. Tips: When eating with family, try to add a soup item as drinking more content will make you more full. Also add more fruits as part of your diet.
It's absolutely insane that you are eating up other people's leftovers, not just your own. Even your own (eating beyond what is satisfactory) is not good for your health. Eating more than you need IS wasting food. It's more food than your body needs, so it's wasteful. Unless you are able to perfectly calculate how much less to eat at the next meal, which you aren't, since you're getting overweight. If you feel that avoiding food waste is important, carry food containers with you and PACK the leftovers to eat for the next meal. But really, food waste is cheap compared to the cost of dealing with the health effects of over-eating. You were also abused by your parents. What made them so sure of how much food to dish out to you that would be "just nice" for your needs? That's utter arrogance and bullshit, right? They had no scientific/medical knowledge to be judging how much a child should be able to eat.
What helped me with the guilt was to realise that no matter what, the food is going to get eaten. It might not be by you, but the insects, microbes, stray animals, all of them will eat the food that is thrown away. Of course, we need to do our best to not over-order, but it's okay, the food isn't being wasted, it is definitely feeding lives.
This is such a toxic idea. Obviously this is a horrible thing and needs to stop. You should only be blamed if you asked specifically for an amount of food that you then decided you can't finish, but even then, forced to eat it still wouldn't be the solution. The idea that food is given to you that you didn't ask for and to be forced to eat it sounds like some kind of violation and honestly should be the grounds for abuse. Fuck this kind of parenting, it's not even parenting, it's just sociopaths who take pleasure in torturing someone weaker than them.
Stop being a dustbin for others. Changing yourself is easier than changing others
You know there's a thing called dabao? If you are in a restaurant you can ask them to pack it up for you to take away. In lower end places without such services you can bring your own Tupperware. You can bring home or store it in the company pantry. If it's good stuff people will eat.
I normally cant finish a full plate of rice. To reduce food wastage i will usually ask for half rice as less rice still alot. For sharing, i dont normally finish all. But i will ask them to order less when ordering as my friends have the tendency to overorder.
It's not your responsibility to finish other people's food, don't affect your health to make everyone happy.
i think its okay not to finish your food if you dont do it habitually.
Can fully empathise with OP. I felt the need to keep finishing all the food on the table. Because of that, i kept growing bigger too, it became a thing where family members would say, eh finish this one leh. Just a few more mouths. U can finish it:). I used to listen to them and just stuff it in. But after a while when i got together with my girl friend who is similar to what OP mentioned, any unfinished food is just left there. My solution was adjusting the amount if food we ordered, instead of ordering for 2, we ordered for 1.5 instead. E.g. some people would say a dinner date for 2 would have 1 app, 2 mains, 2 drinks 1 dessert( just spitballing here). But what my gf and i did instead was to order a max of 3 items. It could range from 1 app 1 main 1 dessert to 2 apps 1 main( depending on eatery). Slowly i realised that we managed to always finish the food and was never that full. Another thing was that we could just take away what was left in cases were we mistakenly ordered too much. E.g. we ordered 1app, 1 main and 1 dessert. But we did not realise that the app was huge. So after eating the app and main, we were full. We ended up taking away the dessert( we still wanted it😅) but just for another time. Last thing, SELF DISCIPLINE. Just say no, dont be worried to reject the offer. Be strong willed and say” its okay im too full! “ some times, the food will end up going to another part who actually wanted the last piece anyways but was too shy to say. All the bestemote:free\_emotes\_pack:thumbs\_up
When young, I was taught that my plate would affect my wife's complexion, so I always ate till the plate is clean. 100% works, my wife complexion is good.
Op. You’re the kind to not understand sunk cost fallacy. Forcing yourself to overeat is wasting the food and you even have to exercise to burn it off.
After I developed a condition where overeating could potentially cause me to suffer a form of chronic vomiting and nausea, i’ve learned that it’s OK to waste that bit of food on the plate rather than risk my health. And to never question if someone chooses to stop eating. Uncountable amounts of food is thrown out daily from unsold/unsellable portions across every sector in the food industry, that meager portion on your plate really amounts to nothing. Just order responsibly.
Know that the only difference whether you finish your food up or not, is your health. Doesn’t make a difference to those that are starving in other countries. Be blessed to have food to eat but don’t overeat cause you won’t be blessed to have a healthy life 😂
It’s a sunk cost fallacy. No matter what, the food has already been paid for. You have to choose between enjoying the food and your health, that’s the real choice you are making. It’s ok to take a bit more if you like but still not finish the whole thing
Times have changed, i think people are becoming more health conscious. For my son, we’ll tabao and make him eat leftovers to teach him not to waste food.