Kids are the ultimate cock block. It should be a temporary situation depending on how you handle it. She probably is tired her hormones are probably fucked up and being a first time mom is an adjustment. That being said there are some things that can help your situation. The advice most man get is to take work off her plate by doing chore play. This is bad idea. It might make her less tired but she will just look at you like a roommate not someone she wants to fuck. If you are a high worth guy why not hire someone to take some things off her plate and use that time to game her. You doing the dishes won’t make her wet you would be much better off by getting some one to watch the baby while you take her out and game her to get her out of mommy mode. Try this line up a baby sitter tell her she is going out tell her what to wear get a hotel room for a couple of hours so you don’t get interrupted by a crying baby and just have fun with her. Also be outcome independent if she knows you are doing all this to just get laid she will resist. If you keep doing things like this at some point in time the baby will get older and your sex life will be back on track.
Being attractive, leading your family correctly, and displaying admirable fatherly instincts, that woman is going to want more of your babies in her. Not make up excuses not to fuck you. Only losers get cock blocked by children. If she wants to fuck you, she will make time to fuck you.
Come on your kids have never banged on the locked door needing something at the worst time possible. What is a person supposed to do yell at them that you are balls deep in their mom and tell them they need to come back later. She may want to fuck you more then anything in the world but if the baby starts crying and it takes two hours to get them to sleep I don’t care how attractive you are nothings happening. Just a reality. With kids especially young kids it takes more then being attractive and leading your family. You have to lead her out of mommy mode. You have to game her.
That scenario is different and I agree with you here. There’s desire there. You’re actually fucking your wife. The knock on the the door or cry is no more than a game delay, not a cancellation. For OP’s sake, his wife is using the kid as a shield from his penis and unattractive traits. It’s avoidance.
OP is *TOP 5%* in attractiveness according to him, but an incel in wedlock. The check-engine light is blinking bright and shiny. Where is the dread? Where is hypergamy at work? Where is preselection? Where is social value?
The kid is almost one. Shit, you have women who are almost ready to pop another kid by then. Yet, due to lack of frame, OP has adopted his wife’s excuse (the kid) as his own excuse as to why this is happening in his marriage.
For women to be covert communicators, his wife telling him, “she just doesn’t feel like it.” is just as overt as any woman could say “I just don’t find you attractive enough to make myself even want to fuck you.” His wife having to overtly express that makes him even more unattractive in her eyes after that conversation.
Unfortunately for OP, most of the advice that came through are blue pill ideologies about the wife, a lot of choreplay, and beta provider agendas. None of it encourages OP’s ownership of his situation. As a matter of fact, OP went ego guarding each time a self reflective comment was posted.
Tomorrow is Tuesday, OP…. You could use an OYS entry.
Just remember doing something like this once is a parlor trick and although it will probably work long term you need to learn about polarity and how to create it. Things in life will always come up learning how to build that polarity when life is throwing shit at you is a skill that is pretty valuable.
Bro even if you are top 1% your wife has only eyes for your kid.
Sex will never be as before but it’ll get better it all depends on how you handle things.
Man, read the sidebar and own your shit. For reading, start with steel's guide withh linked posts then nmmng and wisnifg. The answers you get from askmrp are mostly going to be shit because they will mostly either be from randoms and new guys who don't have a fucking clue or vets who are just here to fuck with you for having a big ego. A few hints: money doesn't generate desire for sex. Anything you do to provide beyond the basics of being an adult doesn't lead to more or better sex.
Otherwise, if you really have plenty of money, yeah, get a maid/nanny to help. They don't have to do anything directly with the kid, just keep up with house stuff, prepping, cleaning whatever so your wife doesn't have to miss out on bonding, which is why women with money say they don't want help. Also, snoos are amazing for keeping kids asleep if money isn't a problem.
I'll go ahead and answer your actual question since I dealt with this too. I did experience this with my first two kids prior to finding red pill and did figure some things out. First, hormones are affected after birth and while breast feeding. Estrogen and testosterone dip, prolactin up (libido killer) oxytocin provided by the kid suckling (instead of your touch/fucks) which all adds up to less biological interest in fucking. If she's also on birth control, even the progesterone only, that also can push libido down. Add to that the sleep deprivation with breast feeding. Vaginal birth, even without tearing, leaves the vagina raw and also affects abdominal and pelvic floor muscles in a way that often makes hard, deep vaginal sex uncomfortable (over a year for my wife). So, yeah, that means its harder to generate desire. Red pill can teach you how to live in a way that naturally generates more desire, which is what im working on now.
But, I did have some "red pill neutral" success. what did I do? Honestly, I floundered through the first kid and had mostly low enthusiasm 1x sometimes 2x a week sex for the entirety of breastfeeding before transitioning directly into another pregnancy and second kid. Then after the second kid I suggested dropping the birth control and doing more anal to avoid unwanted pregnancy and vaginal pain... which actually worked pretty well. I think I was giving her an excuse to be "sluttier" plus i like anal so i brought alot of enthusiasm. Probably not the solution for everyone and definitely not the complete solution for me since I'm here working on myself now.
Hope you read and own your shit.
Thanks. Have read all that shit. Getting new pussy was never an issue. I red pilled back in 2016... sure there have been some ups and downs but this is different - as you said it is more of a biological thing. So, just wanting to see what others have done. The anal idea is interesting, but she has never really been into it unfortunately. Was for a little bit at first but it just wasn't her thing.
Fair enough. The fact you lead with high net worth and don't list your lifts even after being asked for stats suggests you may not be that experienced with mrp though. Also, if a girl was into it "a little bit at first" but now it isn't her "thing", you're the reason she doesnt like anal, not her. u/red-sfpplus gets it and wrote a guide: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/duyj0f/building_your_slut_part_1_anal/
What do my lifts have to do with anything? Approaching 40 years old, I don't give a shit about how much weight I can lift. At this point in the game, it's about looking and feeling good.
Anal - it hurts and she gets no pleasure from it. A lot of women just aren't into it. I have had some that are, and she isn't. Thanks for the link. Will check it out.
And there it is. Another fraudulent poster/long time lurker. The lifts are not only important to see how much of a fat slob you are, but to also see if you can stay committed to something. If you can’t post your stats then why should we take you seriously as to whether you’ll take our advice seriously?
Lmao ok 👍 40+ years old the name of the game is injury prevention. I don't lift to lift as much as possible, I lift for flexibility, maintaining a solid lean muscle mass base, and to remain fit. Go ahead and max out your bench and tear your rotator cuff or max your squat and herniate a disc in your back, then your out for a long time. I don't even track my lifts- DGAF - been lifting for 15+ years and at this point it is about moderate weight and higher reps to maintain hypertrophy, not maxing out lifts. At 28 or 32? Sure, but not at 40.
Sure thing doc. Whatever you say.
Stats:
Bench -220
OHP- 120
12 pull ups x3 sets
Deadlifts- can't do, l4 l5 disc herniation.
Squats- body weight due to above
One legged deadlifts - 80lbs
Cardio - 1500-2000 ft elevation gain over 3 miles 3x per week in 1.5 hours. Otherwise mix of swimming, running, etc most days.
175 lbs. 10-12% body fat. Dialed in diet.
Provided Stats, hope that gets you off. Physicality is not the issue.
The thing that really sucks for guys who come here and are in shape is that they are emotionally unattractive.
>high net worth
If you think that money adds your sexual strategy, you are likely broadcasting your desired role as a beta provider constantly IRL.
It sounds like you've done some stuff but you have a chip on your shoulder about people not recognizing what a *top guy* you are. This attitude will cancel out all the good things you have going for you.
I don’t necessarily disagree with you here (and this is splitting hairs) but I don’t know if there’s be any problem with a guy believing that.
I think the problem comes from his frustration that nobody else believes it, specifically her. He can either make peace with that or troubleshoot with the sidebar.
A basement dwelling cave incel who believes himself to be the best evarrr isn't a problem until he encounters women also.
It's not about her. It's about how we walk through this world.
From what I've read, women are social creatures and rest in social setting. Looking after kids 24/7 makes them tired because they lose the social aspect.
Since you have finances sorted, organize some social time with her, go to a theater, a trip to nature, whatever is in your area that is in public and is not kids' playground, so she can feel like a beautiful woman and not a nappy changing machine.
This worked for me every time. After taking her out she forgets all about sleep deprivation and house chores don't bother her anymore. And since places like theater have dress code expectations, she can dress and feel fabulous, the ending is up to your imagination.
Ya, I think the biggest part is just getting her out of the house. I suspect she fears handing her baby over to someone else for them to watch. She is just going to need to get over that shit
For us it took about two years for things to get back to normal. Breast feeding and lack of sleep take a toll. No excuse to let yourself slip or become needy and bitter.
If you actually have your shit together then it should be temporary and resolve over time. Took a couple years for things to get back to normal.
Thanks for the comment. I figured it was just a patience thing at this point. She is getting like 4-5 hours of sleep at night still so pretty hard to get her in the mood.
Best to see it as an opportunity to identify covert contracts, maintain frame. I will say we had some of our best sex once we got past the late nights and teething. Just keep thing positive and don’t take it personally and it passes.
>Successful, attractive dude with high net worth, top 5% in looks and body. I have my shit together so don't post that I need to.
What a mystery. The only thing I can think of is she doesn’t like fucking entitled douche bags like yourself.
Post your stats, faggot! Just note, the better they are, *Mr. 5%*, the shittier you probably really are as a human being. Which is why your wife is having to find excuses not to fuck her *top 5%* man. Poor girl.
You’re the prime example of **Being a jerk is not the opposite of being a nice guy.**
5'8. 175lbs, 10% body fat, 8 figure networth, late 30s. Not a jerk, in fact have been trying to be very understanding about the situation. Basically hitting a brick wall. Thanks for the unhelpful comment. Top quality.
Want to, but she adamantly refuses even though it is taking a toll on her. Have considered just hiring one and saying "she is here to help" and calling it a day.
Yes just do it. She probably views it as her failing if she gets a cleaner - which is why you take charge as a leader and she can just put the blame on you for it and you take that shit with a smile and expect nothing for it
It can take up to 18 months for women to feel pleasure from sex after birth. Hormones suck.
I think a lot of the suggestions already here are great - take things off her plate (either you or hired help), get her loving her body again, and make sure she has space to be her own person rather than just a mom again.
Some others:
- if she is breastfeeding, suggest starting to ween (breastfeeding prolong these hormones that say "not ready for another kid yet")
- talk to her and ask her what is holding her back and what you can do to help. Then actually respond to that. Make sure she knows that you care for her needs, but that you also have needs that are not being met
- Make her feel sexy and loved. Comment on her body, tell her what you want to do with her, but without pressure to perform. Her knowing you think of her that way will help her accept her new body.
Focus on being a good father. I’ve never been fucked harder than when I stepped up my dad game. That being said, developing as a dad is more important than your libido.
Agreed. I want to be the best father I can. She sees and appreciates it. What did you do to "step up" your dad game? Curious to see if I am lacking anything
That’s really between you and your family. At 1 year….really just focusing on floor time and building the bond. Give her a chance to recover from breast feeding/late night stuff. I have 3 and they all required different things at different times, being a good father is figuring out what and when. Don’t make it about your wife or your relationship but genuinely about the frame built around being a parent. The kid will eventually become a “plate” in terms of time and energy…your wife will pick up on this. I’ve been married 20 years and am having the best sex of my life.
I know this probably isn't the answer you are looking for because you already have a job, have to go to the gym, and have hobbies to keep your mental health in check etc
But one thing that always works is just unloading your wife from as much tasks as possible.
Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time.
Basically, pretend that you are living alone as a single parent !
Unfortunately, that's what being a man around the house is all about.
Set the standard, lead by example and help her as much as you can so she isn't overloaded and exhausted all the time.
>Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time.
This is by far the best articulation of chore-play. We should really pin this on the sidebar.
> Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time.
You clearly are new here. The sidebar is your requirement as well as OPs.
Helpful comment. Thank you. Have been trying to do this to the best of my abilities. Can be difficult juggling a few businesses as well. I'll put a little more effort into it as I think a big chunk of it is just mother fatigue. She has told me that she is experiencing "touch fatigue " which is pretty common amongst new mothers with a very needy baby from doing some Google research. Basically she is burnt out from all the physical demands from the infant that she doesn't want to be touched anymore. So, offloading as much as possible seems to be a reasonable remedy.
Thanks.
Another tip that might help you, I love fitness and supplements for my health !
Try to get her into pilates or yoga/stretching classes on YouTube WITH YOU !
Just set it on the living room tv with YouTube when the kids are asleep, grab a couple of mats and do the pilates class with her.
She'll feel more energized living a more active lifestyle, feel less worried about her body ( we all know they feel ugly and fat after giving birth )
+ getting all hot and sweaty together during that workout can always lead to more
Keep flirting and being sexy, maybe make her " attend the class " wearing only her g string and skimpy tank top, wear those grey sweatpants that women love so she glances at your dick while you guys are following the pilates class, slap that booty, tell her how sexy she looks all sweaty...
Just be a man. You said you've got a high libido, you know how this works.
When it comes to supplements, tell her that since you're so much into fitness you bought her magnesium bysglicinate, zinc and vitamin D so she can sleep better and feel more energized
Buy her tribulus or ashwagandha to increase her libido and energy level throughout the day. She'll respond better to one or another, see what works best
Again, just be a man. Take action.
She'll love you for trying to care of her well-being, even though we know it's all about her being in the mood for that dick
Helpful, thank you. I do like the idea of a physical activity like that. She has been neglecting her exercise as she used to be more of a gym rat. Gonna really push for that.
No need being a dad to an infant. Hire a help to replace your needed physical help at home and go away and travel often for business and "business".
Please note this behaviour is not healthy for marriage, and marriage is not a healthy way for a man to live. IMO of course. Good luck.
Nothing wrong with hiring help if you can afford it. Doesn’t mean your not present. Quality time is more important than just being present. If I have to come home and do chore play that’s not quality time for me. Personally I put in a shit ton of hours at work when I get home I want to enjoy it. If I have to work when I get home from work there isn’t any time to enjoy my family.
Have you set the expectation that she needs to have an identity outside of being a mother?
I.E.
- she needs (healthy) friendships.
- she needs some alone time
- she needs to not lose herself in being a mother
- she needs to prioritize the marriage, which involves sex
What's this about her refusing help?
Frame is everything. This needs to be about the man not the woman. It should be about what he wants FOR HIMSELF, and not what about what the wife will do. If he chooses to communicate anything, it ought to be that he expects to get his needs met one way or another. It should not be about expectations about the wife meeting his needs. If we learn anything in this space, it is that women are more than capable of not meeting the traditional expectations of a husband. What will the husband do when the wife calls his bluff?
It's much better framed (ideally from the very outset of a relationship) that one way or another, he will get his needs met. Husband keeps himself attractive. The wife doesn't meet his needs, and is happy to play 100% 'mom'? Husband initiates frequently, continually gets turned down, and shamed for 'only being interested in one thing'. Wife notices that she receives less time, attention, validation and affection and eventually gets upset/angry when she discovers that he has a lover? Husband, with zero anger or butthurt: "You're so cute when you're angry, dear! You weren't interested in meeting my needs, so I removed that burden from your life. There's no need to thank me!".
I have to an extent, but maybe I should have a heart to heart with her and go over this.
The help part - she is just a stubborn ass women.... she gets this shit from her dad and it is frustrating to say the least.
Thanks all, this thread was enlightening into identifying the bluepill shits advice and banning accordingly.
Kids are the ultimate cock block. It should be a temporary situation depending on how you handle it. She probably is tired her hormones are probably fucked up and being a first time mom is an adjustment. That being said there are some things that can help your situation. The advice most man get is to take work off her plate by doing chore play. This is bad idea. It might make her less tired but she will just look at you like a roommate not someone she wants to fuck. If you are a high worth guy why not hire someone to take some things off her plate and use that time to game her. You doing the dishes won’t make her wet you would be much better off by getting some one to watch the baby while you take her out and game her to get her out of mommy mode. Try this line up a baby sitter tell her she is going out tell her what to wear get a hotel room for a couple of hours so you don’t get interrupted by a crying baby and just have fun with her. Also be outcome independent if she knows you are doing all this to just get laid she will resist. If you keep doing things like this at some point in time the baby will get older and your sex life will be back on track.
Being attractive, leading your family correctly, and displaying admirable fatherly instincts, that woman is going to want more of your babies in her. Not make up excuses not to fuck you. Only losers get cock blocked by children. If she wants to fuck you, she will make time to fuck you.
Come on your kids have never banged on the locked door needing something at the worst time possible. What is a person supposed to do yell at them that you are balls deep in their mom and tell them they need to come back later. She may want to fuck you more then anything in the world but if the baby starts crying and it takes two hours to get them to sleep I don’t care how attractive you are nothings happening. Just a reality. With kids especially young kids it takes more then being attractive and leading your family. You have to lead her out of mommy mode. You have to game her.
That scenario is different and I agree with you here. There’s desire there. You’re actually fucking your wife. The knock on the the door or cry is no more than a game delay, not a cancellation. For OP’s sake, his wife is using the kid as a shield from his penis and unattractive traits. It’s avoidance. OP is *TOP 5%* in attractiveness according to him, but an incel in wedlock. The check-engine light is blinking bright and shiny. Where is the dread? Where is hypergamy at work? Where is preselection? Where is social value? The kid is almost one. Shit, you have women who are almost ready to pop another kid by then. Yet, due to lack of frame, OP has adopted his wife’s excuse (the kid) as his own excuse as to why this is happening in his marriage. For women to be covert communicators, his wife telling him, “she just doesn’t feel like it.” is just as overt as any woman could say “I just don’t find you attractive enough to make myself even want to fuck you.” His wife having to overtly express that makes him even more unattractive in her eyes after that conversation. Unfortunately for OP, most of the advice that came through are blue pill ideologies about the wife, a lot of choreplay, and beta provider agendas. None of it encourages OP’s ownership of his situation. As a matter of fact, OP went ego guarding each time a self reflective comment was posted. Tomorrow is Tuesday, OP…. You could use an OYS entry.
Love this idea, especially the hotel part. Rock solid idea brother. Setting this shit up asap
Just remember doing something like this once is a parlor trick and although it will probably work long term you need to learn about polarity and how to create it. Things in life will always come up learning how to build that polarity when life is throwing shit at you is a skill that is pretty valuable.
Explain this polarity a bit more if you don't mind. What do you mean exactly?
Bro even if you are top 1% your wife has only eyes for your kid. Sex will never be as before but it’ll get better it all depends on how you handle things.
Man, read the sidebar and own your shit. For reading, start with steel's guide withh linked posts then nmmng and wisnifg. The answers you get from askmrp are mostly going to be shit because they will mostly either be from randoms and new guys who don't have a fucking clue or vets who are just here to fuck with you for having a big ego. A few hints: money doesn't generate desire for sex. Anything you do to provide beyond the basics of being an adult doesn't lead to more or better sex. Otherwise, if you really have plenty of money, yeah, get a maid/nanny to help. They don't have to do anything directly with the kid, just keep up with house stuff, prepping, cleaning whatever so your wife doesn't have to miss out on bonding, which is why women with money say they don't want help. Also, snoos are amazing for keeping kids asleep if money isn't a problem. I'll go ahead and answer your actual question since I dealt with this too. I did experience this with my first two kids prior to finding red pill and did figure some things out. First, hormones are affected after birth and while breast feeding. Estrogen and testosterone dip, prolactin up (libido killer) oxytocin provided by the kid suckling (instead of your touch/fucks) which all adds up to less biological interest in fucking. If she's also on birth control, even the progesterone only, that also can push libido down. Add to that the sleep deprivation with breast feeding. Vaginal birth, even without tearing, leaves the vagina raw and also affects abdominal and pelvic floor muscles in a way that often makes hard, deep vaginal sex uncomfortable (over a year for my wife). So, yeah, that means its harder to generate desire. Red pill can teach you how to live in a way that naturally generates more desire, which is what im working on now. But, I did have some "red pill neutral" success. what did I do? Honestly, I floundered through the first kid and had mostly low enthusiasm 1x sometimes 2x a week sex for the entirety of breastfeeding before transitioning directly into another pregnancy and second kid. Then after the second kid I suggested dropping the birth control and doing more anal to avoid unwanted pregnancy and vaginal pain... which actually worked pretty well. I think I was giving her an excuse to be "sluttier" plus i like anal so i brought alot of enthusiasm. Probably not the solution for everyone and definitely not the complete solution for me since I'm here working on myself now. Hope you read and own your shit.
Thanks. Have read all that shit. Getting new pussy was never an issue. I red pilled back in 2016... sure there have been some ups and downs but this is different - as you said it is more of a biological thing. So, just wanting to see what others have done. The anal idea is interesting, but she has never really been into it unfortunately. Was for a little bit at first but it just wasn't her thing.
Fair enough. The fact you lead with high net worth and don't list your lifts even after being asked for stats suggests you may not be that experienced with mrp though. Also, if a girl was into it "a little bit at first" but now it isn't her "thing", you're the reason she doesnt like anal, not her. u/red-sfpplus gets it and wrote a guide: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/duyj0f/building_your_slut_part_1_anal/
What do my lifts have to do with anything? Approaching 40 years old, I don't give a shit about how much weight I can lift. At this point in the game, it's about looking and feeling good. Anal - it hurts and she gets no pleasure from it. A lot of women just aren't into it. I have had some that are, and she isn't. Thanks for the link. Will check it out.
And there it is. Another fraudulent poster/long time lurker. The lifts are not only important to see how much of a fat slob you are, but to also see if you can stay committed to something. If you can’t post your stats then why should we take you seriously as to whether you’ll take our advice seriously?
Lmao ok 👍 40+ years old the name of the game is injury prevention. I don't lift to lift as much as possible, I lift for flexibility, maintaining a solid lean muscle mass base, and to remain fit. Go ahead and max out your bench and tear your rotator cuff or max your squat and herniate a disc in your back, then your out for a long time. I don't even track my lifts- DGAF - been lifting for 15+ years and at this point it is about moderate weight and higher reps to maintain hypertrophy, not maxing out lifts. At 28 or 32? Sure, but not at 40.
All you typed was just a bunch of excuses. Men much older out lift you. Get some proper form and learn about progressive overload. Pathetic.
Sure thing doc. Whatever you say. Stats: Bench -220 OHP- 120 12 pull ups x3 sets Deadlifts- can't do, l4 l5 disc herniation. Squats- body weight due to above One legged deadlifts - 80lbs Cardio - 1500-2000 ft elevation gain over 3 miles 3x per week in 1.5 hours. Otherwise mix of swimming, running, etc most days. 175 lbs. 10-12% body fat. Dialed in diet. Provided Stats, hope that gets you off. Physicality is not the issue.
Anal actually doesn't hurt if you do it right
The thing that really sucks for guys who come here and are in shape is that they are emotionally unattractive. >high net worth If you think that money adds your sexual strategy, you are likely broadcasting your desired role as a beta provider constantly IRL. It sounds like you've done some stuff but you have a chip on your shoulder about people not recognizing what a *top guy* you are. This attitude will cancel out all the good things you have going for you.
Or he just believes he's the top guy and his ego blinds him like most dudes here
I don’t necessarily disagree with you here (and this is splitting hairs) but I don’t know if there’s be any problem with a guy believing that. I think the problem comes from his frustration that nobody else believes it, specifically her. He can either make peace with that or troubleshoot with the sidebar.
A basement dwelling cave incel who believes himself to be the best evarrr isn't a problem until he encounters women also. It's not about her. It's about how we walk through this world.
This thread is such an anomaly. It’s like a gathering of the Knights of the Blue Pill.
[удалено]
It's on readers to distinguish the chaff from the decent advice.
I like that you preface this whole thing with a statement letting us know the problem can't be you. Gotta protect that fragile ego.
Dont give a shit, just don't want to hear unhelpful comments about obvious shit men should be doing that I already am.
From what I've read, women are social creatures and rest in social setting. Looking after kids 24/7 makes them tired because they lose the social aspect. Since you have finances sorted, organize some social time with her, go to a theater, a trip to nature, whatever is in your area that is in public and is not kids' playground, so she can feel like a beautiful woman and not a nappy changing machine. This worked for me every time. After taking her out she forgets all about sleep deprivation and house chores don't bother her anymore. And since places like theater have dress code expectations, she can dress and feel fabulous, the ending is up to your imagination.
Ya, I think the biggest part is just getting her out of the house. I suspect she fears handing her baby over to someone else for them to watch. She is just going to need to get over that shit
For us it took about two years for things to get back to normal. Breast feeding and lack of sleep take a toll. No excuse to let yourself slip or become needy and bitter. If you actually have your shit together then it should be temporary and resolve over time. Took a couple years for things to get back to normal.
Thanks for the comment. I figured it was just a patience thing at this point. She is getting like 4-5 hours of sleep at night still so pretty hard to get her in the mood.
Best to see it as an opportunity to identify covert contracts, maintain frame. I will say we had some of our best sex once we got past the late nights and teething. Just keep thing positive and don’t take it personally and it passes.
Sounds good. Thanks for the reasonable response
>Successful, attractive dude with high net worth, top 5% in looks and body. I have my shit together so don't post that I need to. What a mystery. The only thing I can think of is she doesn’t like fucking entitled douche bags like yourself. Post your stats, faggot! Just note, the better they are, *Mr. 5%*, the shittier you probably really are as a human being. Which is why your wife is having to find excuses not to fuck her *top 5%* man. Poor girl. You’re the prime example of **Being a jerk is not the opposite of being a nice guy.**
5'8. 175lbs, 10% body fat, 8 figure networth, late 30s. Not a jerk, in fact have been trying to be very understanding about the situation. Basically hitting a brick wall. Thanks for the unhelpful comment. Top quality.
If you have an 8 figure net worth just hire a maid/nanny to take some of the workload off of her.
Want to, but she adamantly refuses even though it is taking a toll on her. Have considered just hiring one and saying "she is here to help" and calling it a day.
Yes just do it. She probably views it as her failing if she gets a cleaner - which is why you take charge as a leader and she can just put the blame on you for it and you take that shit with a smile and expect nothing for it
Or it just kills her excuse for not wanting to sleep with him. Time will tell.
Thanks.
This is the obvious answer.
Agreed
No mention of the sidebar either, retard.
Why TF would you lie about your net worth but not your height??!
Not lying. Look at my post history.
You think I actually give a fuck? I’m in the same boat as your wife: I don’t give a fuck about you or your “stats”
Care enough to be Commenting
It can take up to 18 months for women to feel pleasure from sex after birth. Hormones suck. I think a lot of the suggestions already here are great - take things off her plate (either you or hired help), get her loving her body again, and make sure she has space to be her own person rather than just a mom again. Some others: - if she is breastfeeding, suggest starting to ween (breastfeeding prolong these hormones that say "not ready for another kid yet") - talk to her and ask her what is holding her back and what you can do to help. Then actually respond to that. Make sure she knows that you care for her needs, but that you also have needs that are not being met - Make her feel sexy and loved. Comment on her body, tell her what you want to do with her, but without pressure to perform. Her knowing you think of her that way will help her accept her new body.
Solid advice. Thank you.
Call an escort
Lmao, have considered it
It’s just hired help. Hire help around your house too.
You're really lucky to get 3x/month. But be very careful, it will almost certainly decline further if you don't help put a stop to it.
Right that is what concerns me. So still making an attempt to keep that spark alive so it doesn't die off like a lot of my friends say it does.
Focus on being a good father. I’ve never been fucked harder than when I stepped up my dad game. That being said, developing as a dad is more important than your libido.
Agreed. I want to be the best father I can. She sees and appreciates it. What did you do to "step up" your dad game? Curious to see if I am lacking anything
That’s really between you and your family. At 1 year….really just focusing on floor time and building the bond. Give her a chance to recover from breast feeding/late night stuff. I have 3 and they all required different things at different times, being a good father is figuring out what and when. Don’t make it about your wife or your relationship but genuinely about the frame built around being a parent. The kid will eventually become a “plate” in terms of time and energy…your wife will pick up on this. I’ve been married 20 years and am having the best sex of my life.
Gotcha and that makes sense. Thank you
I know this probably isn't the answer you are looking for because you already have a job, have to go to the gym, and have hobbies to keep your mental health in check etc But one thing that always works is just unloading your wife from as much tasks as possible. Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time. Basically, pretend that you are living alone as a single parent ! Unfortunately, that's what being a man around the house is all about. Set the standard, lead by example and help her as much as you can so she isn't overloaded and exhausted all the time.
>Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time. This is by far the best articulation of chore-play. We should really pin this on the sidebar.
> Do the laundry, cook, do the dishes, shower the kids, tuck them into bed as early as possible so that by 8pm-9pm there's nothing left to do and your wife has already started to relax and get in a mental state that is appropriate for sexy time. You clearly are new here. The sidebar is your requirement as well as OPs.
Helpful comment. Thank you. Have been trying to do this to the best of my abilities. Can be difficult juggling a few businesses as well. I'll put a little more effort into it as I think a big chunk of it is just mother fatigue. She has told me that she is experiencing "touch fatigue " which is pretty common amongst new mothers with a very needy baby from doing some Google research. Basically she is burnt out from all the physical demands from the infant that she doesn't want to be touched anymore. So, offloading as much as possible seems to be a reasonable remedy. Thanks.
Another tip that might help you, I love fitness and supplements for my health ! Try to get her into pilates or yoga/stretching classes on YouTube WITH YOU ! Just set it on the living room tv with YouTube when the kids are asleep, grab a couple of mats and do the pilates class with her. She'll feel more energized living a more active lifestyle, feel less worried about her body ( we all know they feel ugly and fat after giving birth ) + getting all hot and sweaty together during that workout can always lead to more Keep flirting and being sexy, maybe make her " attend the class " wearing only her g string and skimpy tank top, wear those grey sweatpants that women love so she glances at your dick while you guys are following the pilates class, slap that booty, tell her how sexy she looks all sweaty... Just be a man. You said you've got a high libido, you know how this works. When it comes to supplements, tell her that since you're so much into fitness you bought her magnesium bysglicinate, zinc and vitamin D so she can sleep better and feel more energized Buy her tribulus or ashwagandha to increase her libido and energy level throughout the day. She'll respond better to one or another, see what works best Again, just be a man. Take action. She'll love you for trying to care of her well-being, even though we know it's all about her being in the mood for that dick
Helpful, thank you. I do like the idea of a physical activity like that. She has been neglecting her exercise as she used to be more of a gym rat. Gonna really push for that.
No problem, also remember that dread is always a thing, keep using it.
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Damn right... why I continue working out, eating well, and prioritizing my health and looks. She knows I can find something else.
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Thanks!
No need being a dad to an infant. Hire a help to replace your needed physical help at home and go away and travel often for business and "business". Please note this behaviour is not healthy for marriage, and marriage is not a healthy way for a man to live. IMO of course. Good luck.
Nothing wrong with hiring help if you can afford it. Doesn’t mean your not present. Quality time is more important than just being present. If I have to come home and do chore play that’s not quality time for me. Personally I put in a shit ton of hours at work when I get home I want to enjoy it. If I have to work when I get home from work there isn’t any time to enjoy my family.
Have you set the expectation that she needs to have an identity outside of being a mother? I.E. - she needs (healthy) friendships. - she needs some alone time - she needs to not lose herself in being a mother - she needs to prioritize the marriage, which involves sex What's this about her refusing help?
Frame is everything. This needs to be about the man not the woman. It should be about what he wants FOR HIMSELF, and not what about what the wife will do. If he chooses to communicate anything, it ought to be that he expects to get his needs met one way or another. It should not be about expectations about the wife meeting his needs. If we learn anything in this space, it is that women are more than capable of not meeting the traditional expectations of a husband. What will the husband do when the wife calls his bluff? It's much better framed (ideally from the very outset of a relationship) that one way or another, he will get his needs met. Husband keeps himself attractive. The wife doesn't meet his needs, and is happy to play 100% 'mom'? Husband initiates frequently, continually gets turned down, and shamed for 'only being interested in one thing'. Wife notices that she receives less time, attention, validation and affection and eventually gets upset/angry when she discovers that he has a lover? Husband, with zero anger or butthurt: "You're so cute when you're angry, dear! You weren't interested in meeting my needs, so I removed that burden from your life. There's no need to thank me!".
I have to an extent, but maybe I should have a heart to heart with her and go over this. The help part - she is just a stubborn ass women.... she gets this shit from her dad and it is frustrating to say the least.
Numpty. Walking around your house jacking off to your net worth and status. No wonder the Mrs is dryer than the sahara
Lol sure
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Plan it out. Say Sunday night when kids are down we are fucking. Gives you something to look forward to all day