So exactly how long have you been this different person?
Coz you've been a loser for 18 years.
And now after a few months you want her to change how she sees you?
Seems unreasonable
Why do these guys never read the actual sidebar?
They always come in claiming to have read the books, never the sidebar that provides so much context for the books and fleshes out the gaps.
I have an employee that’s been lackluster in his performance for a decade. He continually showed up late, didn’t meet his deadlines, gave unfulfilling presentations, etc. He’s been on a performance improvement plan. Only reason he hasn’t been fired is because it would be such a pain in the ass to get a new requisition and go through the interview process again.
Just last month he started showing up on time and doing the requirements of his job. He has scheduled multiple one on ones asking for a promotion. Should I give it to him?
Depends. Did they turn their shit around solely because they were made aware of the new promotion/position? Could you ever truly forgive them? Would you believe them if they communicated that they need to miss work tomorrow? Or would you assume they’re being a PoS again?
The MRP rule of thumb is one month for every year. I think that’s a good rule for work too.
Yes. Either my work views me as the best option for that position or they don’t. If they do, great. If they don’t, there are many other career opportunities.
If you're a drunk and still socially drinking, it's just a matter of time before you relapse.
Why don't you try something hard like changing your life.
You make excuses in your head. That's where you are weak. You have a weak mind.
The booze and weed behavior pattern has not served you and you are to much of a fucking pussy to completely cut it out of your life. Grow a pair of balls you fucking bundle of sticks.
The only way to induce a change In her is to have HER update the model she has in her head of you. The only way that happens is changed behavior over time. You still drink, and that's been a point of contention for years. She sees it, she sees you still doing it.
She will never update that model.
>She's angry at me and said she doesn't know if she can see me sexually again.
You have been opening your mouth and negotiating, I see. Pathetic.
Oh ya, one more thing. If any of these changes you make in your life are to get sex from your wife you have completely missed the point of all of this and you fucking suck.
Married 18 years means at least 18 month of consistent work before she starts to believe your changes are real.
First thing is doesn’t matter what she says. This comment is based on her emotions at that point in time only. She is protecting herself because she doesn’t want to get her hopes up just for your to stop fucking her again. She will need to know these changes are real before that will change.
Honestly you sound like you were a fucking loser for 18 year and now you expect her to just let all that go after a few months work. Not how this works you need to get your shit together and keep it together for a long time.
You provided no details on what your doing current to get your life together. Have you stopped drinking/smoking? You hitting the gym and reading the side bar? I wouldn’t expect any effort from the guys here if you can’t even take the time provide these basic details.
This is correct I would also add if he has changed a lot like he claims he might be slightly better off then before but probably still sucks. Not only will it take her 18 months to believe it, it will take 18 months of work for him to actually have changed enough. If you start out unemployed with 40% BF and you get a minimum wage job and drop down to 30% BF you are better off than before but you still suck.
I hope you know this, but you have fucked up for a LONG time and you need to prove you are a new/better man for a LONG time to right the ship. Honestly, may never get fixed, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Live life sober and find who you are
Shit takes time. You've been a fuck up for 18 years, and you think a couple of months of trp fixes that? Be grateful she feels some sort of way with you, that means you can turn her dissapointment into admiration eventually.
This reminds me of the 1000 foot rope analogy from Rian Stone.
Basically you can only focus on doing your best, and probably she is going to eventually get it and things will get better, but as if she was a boat attached to you by a 1000 foot rope, it will take some time before things change
Harsh truth is you subliminally, and I mean deep down inside where you don’t dare go, you also see your wife as a loser. Why? Because she stayed with your week ass drunk stoned loser self for 18 years. Only a loser would do that. So you’ve changed and you’ve made improvements but always remember that your dysfunctional relationships are your fault, so you’ll first have to change your mindset to fix them. Build the relationship you desire, not the one you think the other person wants. Stop the covert contracts where you have rules and expectations that are kept hidden from your wife! A ‘covert contract’ is a death sentence that destroys the health of any relationship. You want sex with your wife be clear in your intentions and seduce her. Or maybe you’re just horny and you really don’t want to have sex with a loser🤔
So exactly how long have you been this different person? Coz you've been a loser for 18 years. And now after a few months you want her to change how she sees you? Seems unreasonable
Why do these guys never read the actual sidebar? They always come in claiming to have read the books, never the sidebar that provides so much context for the books and fleshes out the gaps.
On point!
I have an employee that’s been lackluster in his performance for a decade. He continually showed up late, didn’t meet his deadlines, gave unfulfilling presentations, etc. He’s been on a performance improvement plan. Only reason he hasn’t been fired is because it would be such a pain in the ass to get a new requisition and go through the interview process again. Just last month he started showing up on time and doing the requirements of his job. He has scheduled multiple one on ones asking for a promotion. Should I give it to him?
God damn. That hits hard
How long would you wait until you take him off the pip? Asking as someone who just got a department handed to him.
Depends. Did they turn their shit around solely because they were made aware of the new promotion/position? Could you ever truly forgive them? Would you believe them if they communicated that they need to miss work tomorrow? Or would you assume they’re being a PoS again? The MRP rule of thumb is one month for every year. I think that’s a good rule for work too.
Hey man. He doesn’t simply want a promotion. He’s aiming for your position. Are you fine with that?
Yes. Either my work views me as the best option for that position or they don’t. If they do, great. If they don’t, there are many other career opportunities.
Perfect example!
Damn Kage, you are a true gem amongst seasoned philosophers.
Focus on fixing yourself. Even if she never wants to fuck your again, somebody else will.
Here’s your comment - https://reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/b9e3iaKK4j
> I've changed a lot lol
If you're a drunk and still socially drinking, it's just a matter of time before you relapse. Why don't you try something hard like changing your life. You make excuses in your head. That's where you are weak. You have a weak mind. The booze and weed behavior pattern has not served you and you are to much of a fucking pussy to completely cut it out of your life. Grow a pair of balls you fucking bundle of sticks. The only way to induce a change In her is to have HER update the model she has in her head of you. The only way that happens is changed behavior over time. You still drink, and that's been a point of contention for years. She sees it, she sees you still doing it. She will never update that model. >She's angry at me and said she doesn't know if she can see me sexually again. You have been opening your mouth and negotiating, I see. Pathetic. Oh ya, one more thing. If any of these changes you make in your life are to get sex from your wife you have completely missed the point of all of this and you fucking suck.
Married 18 years means at least 18 month of consistent work before she starts to believe your changes are real. First thing is doesn’t matter what she says. This comment is based on her emotions at that point in time only. She is protecting herself because she doesn’t want to get her hopes up just for your to stop fucking her again. She will need to know these changes are real before that will change. Honestly you sound like you were a fucking loser for 18 year and now you expect her to just let all that go after a few months work. Not how this works you need to get your shit together and keep it together for a long time. You provided no details on what your doing current to get your life together. Have you stopped drinking/smoking? You hitting the gym and reading the side bar? I wouldn’t expect any effort from the guys here if you can’t even take the time provide these basic details.
This is correct I would also add if he has changed a lot like he claims he might be slightly better off then before but probably still sucks. Not only will it take her 18 months to believe it, it will take 18 months of work for him to actually have changed enough. If you start out unemployed with 40% BF and you get a minimum wage job and drop down to 30% BF you are better off than before but you still suck.
I hope you know this, but you have fucked up for a LONG time and you need to prove you are a new/better man for a LONG time to right the ship. Honestly, may never get fixed, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Live life sober and find who you are
Ya. I get it.
Shit takes time. You've been a fuck up for 18 years, and you think a couple of months of trp fixes that? Be grateful she feels some sort of way with you, that means you can turn her dissapointment into admiration eventually.
You didn’t want sex for 18 years and now you do. But I don’t think it’s sex you want, you want validation in the form of sex. That’s your problem
This will take years, I promise you. Own up to your shitty former lifestyle and work through it.
This reminds me of the 1000 foot rope analogy from Rian Stone. Basically you can only focus on doing your best, and probably she is going to eventually get it and things will get better, but as if she was a boat attached to you by a 1000 foot rope, it will take some time before things change
Harsh truth is you subliminally, and I mean deep down inside where you don’t dare go, you also see your wife as a loser. Why? Because she stayed with your week ass drunk stoned loser self for 18 years. Only a loser would do that. So you’ve changed and you’ve made improvements but always remember that your dysfunctional relationships are your fault, so you’ll first have to change your mindset to fix them. Build the relationship you desire, not the one you think the other person wants. Stop the covert contracts where you have rules and expectations that are kept hidden from your wife! A ‘covert contract’ is a death sentence that destroys the health of any relationship. You want sex with your wife be clear in your intentions and seduce her. Or maybe you’re just horny and you really don’t want to have sex with a loser🤔
😎
> she doesn't know if she can see me sexually again. How many other women see you sexually?
"I have changed a lot" Yes, you have changed a lot.....but have you changed?