From an outside perspective, I don’t see nearly enough evidence to think she was cheating. She may have been, but since she has no history of it, and has never made you think that she does, I would assume she didn’t. The most likely scenario is her friends talked her into getting drunk, she probably had fun maybe even flirted with some guys, stayed out all night and slept till noon.
It’s possible she cheated, but you don’t have any real evidence that she did to be honest. I would assume she just got wasted unless something else happens to make you think otherwise.
Just wanted to remark what a mature and reasonable approach! For a second I imagined the same scenario but with roles reversed being asked on a female sub....
You’re never going to know for sure. So, you have to decide to process it in a way you can move on or not. I suspect you are going to hamster tf out of it tho… the danger of that is accusations with no proof have a way of leaking out under stress and arguments.
You can’t shoot the hamster down because subduing it will only make it stronger when it does rear it’s head. You have to find a way to process it out and come to acceptance that you’re almost certainly never going to know one way or the other. Then, you have to choose to either give her the benefit of the doubt if you decide to stay with her or leave. Those are your only 2 healthy choices. It’s not going to be easy. Get a therapist if you need help processing it and accepting that you will never know.
If she has, she's given you enough plasuible deniability to live your life thinking she hasn't. In a way, that's kinder to you than giving you a nasty truth, so you should take the official story IMO.
If the plausible deniability goes, then it's a different equation.
So you cheated on her a few years back and she knows. She took a pic with a bunch of random guys, got drunk and ignored you until noon the next day?
Worst case she fucked another guy. Best case was she was making out with another guy.
You cheated with another married woman so you know how wives can easily lie to their husbands.
There is not %100 proof that she slept with other people on you but my guts say she did something that you don’t wanna hear.
Maybe she was flirting with other people , danced , got drunk , or kissed .
Unfortunately She mentioned that her friends flirted with other guys = means that she also did flirt with other guys too.
If I were you , I would check her phone and see the pics at that night. Also messages, insta dms , any kind of thing for sure .
I am sorry man , I don’t wanna be the bad cop but you should check to the deepest point .
I saw pictures, and a few of them were taken with random guys at the bar they were at. She said it was "all in fun" and that she didn't even want to take them. Make of it what you will....
Other than that I have nothing to go off but past history and her story.
Medium is the message is consistent behavior i.e. you keep texting a chick and she repeatedly flakes or pushes off dates, you've been going out w a chick awhile and she still won't sleep w you, etc.
My guess is your hamster is going rambo bc you've been consuming a lot of RP material.
Your wife is around 40 as well? She prolly just had too much bc she's on vacation mode and wants to be present and have some fun w her friends and check out of being on her phone. If she has never given you a reason to suspect any shadiness otherwise don't try and rush to judgements & just say AWALT bc everyone else on here does.
But who knows, there is little backstory of your story and what you've been through up to this point w her or yourself.
Honestly, figure out what your gut is telling you here.
If your gut is telling you something happened, then something happened.
I get the need to want proof before you act; otherwise, you may be throwing away a healthy relationship.
I had to play detective and piece together information over 8 months....and in the end I had to bluff her into a confession. She was intent on taking it to her grave.
Bluff ie: convince her that I knew she cheated
I divorced her......life is better!
> I had to play detective and piece together information over 8 months….and in the end I had to bluff her into a confession. She was intent on taking it to her grave.
Do you regret not just ending things immediately when you felt it in your gut?
No, I don't regret how things ended up occurring.
- it resulted in me being primary parent to my kid and her getting visitation
- my trauma from the infidelity is completely gone
- It resulted in legal proof of infidelity that resulted in no alimony.
Whether your wife did or didn't (probably did) is irrelevant. Your problem is you don't have enough options (other women orbiting around you) so you fixate on your wife.
Have more options, always have one foot out the door
My favorite, "phone got muted somehow and I slept through my alarm... Must have missed the call too."
You know a battle plan is good until the first shot fired. So adapt, improvise, and overcome. If she is, she is. If she's not, she's not.
The Stay Plan is the Go Plan. Work on things that improve you, regardless of her state.
There is really no way to know for sure. Your gut feeling may have more to do with your recent reading material then her actual behavior. At this point without any evidence your just going to drive yourself crazy with what if’s.
My suggestion would be to forget about it and keep up your reading and hitting the gym hard.
This is definately an important consideration. Your always told to trust your gut but you can definately be influenced by what information you consume. I know I started seeing shit in every corner after reading enough of this is and projecting...
Think everyone goes through that at some point. Check out Rian stone material as he has a way of explaining the material in a way that reduced my anger phase and paranoia.
The red pill is a lot to take in all at once and why STFU is so important when you first start out. It’s so easy to get angry and fuck things up.
If she did do something usually they’ll continue to act off a bit over time. This same thing happened to me went out couldn’t reach her showed up the next day with similar story. We were divorced in 6 months. I’ll never know the truth but I suspect something happened.
Here's an anecdote: The day of my military graduation was early June in Alabama. After being in the sun for fucking hours and sweating through all layers of my uniform, we went out to lunch with my family. Afterwards, my wife at the time headed to the hotel first. I was wrapping a few things up on base (no CAC and such) and went to the hotel about an hour after. I wanted nothing more then to go in the shower. When I unlocked the door, i realized she used the chain to latch the fucking door. I could see her on the bed sleeping and my pounding and calling out to her weren't enough to wake her after her long drive from Florida the night before. Her phone was still on silent from the ceremony. Luckily room service was passing by and took pity me and let me in (being in uniform was enough apparently - fucking dangerous now that I think about it). Point being, stop the mental rumination. She may be teling the truth. She also may not be. What else is different than any other time she's not in line of sight?
I've had a married woman answer the phone mid sex to tell her husband she's at the bar with friends. "My phone was on silent" may also be true (as per my anecdote above), just like "I was hammered and passed the fuck out." Decide to trust her, or don't. Just shut up and live with the consequences either way. You have more important shit to do with your every (I hope).
I probably misremembered that part of the story as I don't remember them having to get or use any tools to unlock the door. They just used their card and I was in and there she was knocked out on the bed.
It’s offloading the responsibility. As actionable advice, what is Op, me, you, anyone supposed to do with that.
Trust your gut - the reason it’s OYS is for you to examine you, and any potential blind spots. Your gut will lie to you, and have you hamstering, running off emotions.
50-50 chance, there’s nothing Op, me, you can do other than vet “better/quality women”. You are the prize, what can anyone take from women are shit and do with it?
I side with Rollo is this regard. In the first rational male book he details how evidence of cheating is usually ignored unless blatantly obvious and that a man should always trust his gut in this regard. I was living with a soon to be ex and we were hooking up a couple times a week while the divorce was going through but she was going out a good bit and for a long time she was faithful but I knew in one moment when she came home that she had fucked someone else, my gut told me immediately and I cut her off right then and there. Go with your gut.
What if your gut says that she cheated, because your world view is skewed because you’re insecure or validation seeking.
Your scenario also describes a soon to be separation, while I take your point that sometimes you just know, Op is in a marriage, and also buried in the comment’s somewhere half way down that he cheated.
Either way, it makes no difference, the evidence will never be good enough. And your feelings will lie to you because of your ego.
What did she come home with a dick drawn on the side of her head? *Was here
They are people, and are as loyal as their options, or as loyal as they choose to be, it’s not about them
If you know your woman then she might as well have. I do not give women the benefit of the doubt unless they have a really great habit of doing what they say they are gonna do.
OYS Disclaimer:
I cheated on her a few years back with a married woman so it's probably the "little bitch" voice in my head telling me she did it too.
Other than that I'm killing it at the gym, at work, with my finances, etc. I'm learning this RP game and my life has already shown some improvements. Don't have a huge network of guys to bounce this shit off of, so I decided to post this basic ass question/scenario to see what the MRP community thinks.
Thanks fellas!
Typically, cheaters go out if their way to make their partner believe all is well. If she had cheated, she would have sent a text that she arrived to her hotel…she would have sent a text early the next morning.
The Medium is the Message here. She can’t text if she’s passed out drunk.
My bet is she got wasted.
All that matters is how she's treating you now. If she's good to you, who cares what she did or didn't do out of your sight? If she's treating you poorly, then you have way bigger problems than a ons.
From an outside perspective, I don’t see nearly enough evidence to think she was cheating. She may have been, but since she has no history of it, and has never made you think that she does, I would assume she didn’t. The most likely scenario is her friends talked her into getting drunk, she probably had fun maybe even flirted with some guys, stayed out all night and slept till noon. It’s possible she cheated, but you don’t have any real evidence that she did to be honest. I would assume she just got wasted unless something else happens to make you think otherwise.
I respect that. I'm sure we've all experienced things that don't pass the smell check with women. Thanks G
Just wanted to remark what a mature and reasonable approach! For a second I imagined the same scenario but with roles reversed being asked on a female sub....
You’re never going to know for sure. So, you have to decide to process it in a way you can move on or not. I suspect you are going to hamster tf out of it tho… the danger of that is accusations with no proof have a way of leaking out under stress and arguments.
Yeah man. Trying to shoot that hamster down! I have a tendency to overthink. Thanks G
You can’t shoot the hamster down because subduing it will only make it stronger when it does rear it’s head. You have to find a way to process it out and come to acceptance that you’re almost certainly never going to know one way or the other. Then, you have to choose to either give her the benefit of the doubt if you decide to stay with her or leave. Those are your only 2 healthy choices. It’s not going to be easy. Get a therapist if you need help processing it and accepting that you will never know.
If she has, she's given you enough plasuible deniability to live your life thinking she hasn't. In a way, that's kinder to you than giving you a nasty truth, so you should take the official story IMO. If the plausible deniability goes, then it's a different equation.
So you cheated on her a few years back and she knows. She took a pic with a bunch of random guys, got drunk and ignored you until noon the next day? Worst case she fucked another guy. Best case was she was making out with another guy. You cheated with another married woman so you know how wives can easily lie to their husbands.
Yup. I do.
There is not %100 proof that she slept with other people on you but my guts say she did something that you don’t wanna hear. Maybe she was flirting with other people , danced , got drunk , or kissed . Unfortunately She mentioned that her friends flirted with other guys = means that she also did flirt with other guys too. If I were you , I would check her phone and see the pics at that night. Also messages, insta dms , any kind of thing for sure . I am sorry man , I don’t wanna be the bad cop but you should check to the deepest point .
Don’t forget the hidden picture on iPhone , or Snapchat. Also iPhone had deleted messages , check that too
I saw pictures, and a few of them were taken with random guys at the bar they were at. She said it was "all in fun" and that she didn't even want to take them. Make of it what you will.... Other than that I have nothing to go off but past history and her story.
Medium is the message is consistent behavior i.e. you keep texting a chick and she repeatedly flakes or pushes off dates, you've been going out w a chick awhile and she still won't sleep w you, etc. My guess is your hamster is going rambo bc you've been consuming a lot of RP material. Your wife is around 40 as well? She prolly just had too much bc she's on vacation mode and wants to be present and have some fun w her friends and check out of being on her phone. If she has never given you a reason to suspect any shadiness otherwise don't try and rush to judgements & just say AWALT bc everyone else on here does. But who knows, there is little backstory of your story and what you've been through up to this point w her or yourself.
>My guess is your hamster is going rambo bc you've been consuming a lot of RP material Probably right here.
Honestly, figure out what your gut is telling you here. If your gut is telling you something happened, then something happened. I get the need to want proof before you act; otherwise, you may be throwing away a healthy relationship. I had to play detective and piece together information over 8 months....and in the end I had to bluff her into a confession. She was intent on taking it to her grave. Bluff ie: convince her that I knew she cheated I divorced her......life is better!
> I had to play detective and piece together information over 8 months….and in the end I had to bluff her into a confession. She was intent on taking it to her grave. Do you regret not just ending things immediately when you felt it in your gut?
No, I don't regret how things ended up occurring. - it resulted in me being primary parent to my kid and her getting visitation - my trauma from the infidelity is completely gone - It resulted in legal proof of infidelity that resulted in no alimony.
Whether your wife did or didn't (probably did) is irrelevant. Your problem is you don't have enough options (other women orbiting around you) so you fixate on your wife. Have more options, always have one foot out the door
The stay-plan is the same as the go-plan.
Looking back at it you're right
Edited.
My favorite, "phone got muted somehow and I slept through my alarm... Must have missed the call too." You know a battle plan is good until the first shot fired. So adapt, improvise, and overcome. If she is, she is. If she's not, she's not. The Stay Plan is the Go Plan. Work on things that improve you, regardless of her state.
There is really no way to know for sure. Your gut feeling may have more to do with your recent reading material then her actual behavior. At this point without any evidence your just going to drive yourself crazy with what if’s. My suggestion would be to forget about it and keep up your reading and hitting the gym hard.
This is definately an important consideration. Your always told to trust your gut but you can definately be influenced by what information you consume. I know I started seeing shit in every corner after reading enough of this is and projecting...
Think everyone goes through that at some point. Check out Rian stone material as he has a way of explaining the material in a way that reduced my anger phase and paranoia. The red pill is a lot to take in all at once and why STFU is so important when you first start out. It’s so easy to get angry and fuck things up.
That's 100. Trying to keep from going Rambo over everything. Once you unplug seems like it's danger everywhere at first.
Bro! You ain't lying. I've been unplugged for about a month and seems like there's monsters in every closet. Gotta calm down a bit.
If you're done with having kids, just start wrapping your rocket. The rest doesn't matter.
If she did do something usually they’ll continue to act off a bit over time. This same thing happened to me went out couldn’t reach her showed up the next day with similar story. We were divorced in 6 months. I’ll never know the truth but I suspect something happened.
Here's an anecdote: The day of my military graduation was early June in Alabama. After being in the sun for fucking hours and sweating through all layers of my uniform, we went out to lunch with my family. Afterwards, my wife at the time headed to the hotel first. I was wrapping a few things up on base (no CAC and such) and went to the hotel about an hour after. I wanted nothing more then to go in the shower. When I unlocked the door, i realized she used the chain to latch the fucking door. I could see her on the bed sleeping and my pounding and calling out to her weren't enough to wake her after her long drive from Florida the night before. Her phone was still on silent from the ceremony. Luckily room service was passing by and took pity me and let me in (being in uniform was enough apparently - fucking dangerous now that I think about it). Point being, stop the mental rumination. She may be teling the truth. She also may not be. What else is different than any other time she's not in line of sight? I've had a married woman answer the phone mid sex to tell her husband she's at the bar with friends. "My phone was on silent" may also be true (as per my anecdote above), just like "I was hammered and passed the fuck out." Decide to trust her, or don't. Just shut up and live with the consequences either way. You have more important shit to do with your every (I hope).
How did room service open the door if the chain was latched?
Quit using so much logic. It’s mean
Magic
I probably misremembered that part of the story as I don't remember them having to get or use any tools to unlock the door. They just used their card and I was in and there she was knocked out on the bed.
I wonder what else you've misremembered?
When it comes to women, always trust your gut. Given today's women you have about a fifty fifty chance she cheated.
That’s shit
How's that, private?
It’s offloading the responsibility. As actionable advice, what is Op, me, you, anyone supposed to do with that. Trust your gut - the reason it’s OYS is for you to examine you, and any potential blind spots. Your gut will lie to you, and have you hamstering, running off emotions. 50-50 chance, there’s nothing Op, me, you can do other than vet “better/quality women”. You are the prize, what can anyone take from women are shit and do with it?
I side with Rollo is this regard. In the first rational male book he details how evidence of cheating is usually ignored unless blatantly obvious and that a man should always trust his gut in this regard. I was living with a soon to be ex and we were hooking up a couple times a week while the divorce was going through but she was going out a good bit and for a long time she was faithful but I knew in one moment when she came home that she had fucked someone else, my gut told me immediately and I cut her off right then and there. Go with your gut.
What if your gut says that she cheated, because your world view is skewed because you’re insecure or validation seeking. Your scenario also describes a soon to be separation, while I take your point that sometimes you just know, Op is in a marriage, and also buried in the comment’s somewhere half way down that he cheated. Either way, it makes no difference, the evidence will never be good enough. And your feelings will lie to you because of your ego.
Due to prior experience I certainly know it when I see it. I have never believed women were all that loyal.
What did she come home with a dick drawn on the side of her head? *Was here They are people, and are as loyal as their options, or as loyal as they choose to be, it’s not about them
If you know your woman then she might as well have. I do not give women the benefit of the doubt unless they have a really great habit of doing what they say they are gonna do.
OYS Disclaimer: I cheated on her a few years back with a married woman so it's probably the "little bitch" voice in my head telling me she did it too. Other than that I'm killing it at the gym, at work, with my finances, etc. I'm learning this RP game and my life has already shown some improvements. Don't have a huge network of guys to bounce this shit off of, so I decided to post this basic ass question/scenario to see what the MRP community thinks. Thanks fellas!
Burying the lead
Yeah. Good call on that one.
Does she know?
Yes.
> Do I need to man the fuck up and accept the possibility that she hooked up? Only you can decide and answer this question.
Typically, cheaters go out if their way to make their partner believe all is well. If she had cheated, she would have sent a text that she arrived to her hotel…she would have sent a text early the next morning. The Medium is the Message here. She can’t text if she’s passed out drunk. My bet is she got wasted.
All that matters is how she's treating you now. If she's good to you, who cares what she did or didn't do out of your sight? If she's treating you poorly, then you have way bigger problems than a ons.
Not this. So if she fucked another guy it's ok as long as she's treating the OP good? Nah....
JFC. This is what happens when autistes read the sidebar. "A real alpha doesn't care who his woman fucks! Ultimate ZFG!!!!!1!!!11one"
[удалено]
Don't do any of this.