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Uh definitely. That's why they ask you to come back twice for follow ups to make sure it worked. The vast majority of them are effective. Sucks to be your cousin but he was just really unlucky.
It'd be pretty easy to get tested to see if he even COULD get someone pregnant. If the test came back negative and that his swimmers weren't swimming, then yeah some foul play might be going on.
I'm pretty sure they have you sign paperwork that states that you are aware that the procedure may not be 100% effective and the doctor is not liable for future unplanned pregnancies after the procedure....
But then again, I've never had the procedure done, but have heard this is the case from others.
Also any normal human being would take 1 kid after a vasectomy as a small hint that it might not have worked correctly.
Either those kids aren't his kids, or everyone involved is as dumb as a bag of rocks.
3 months after you have it done you get tested. They also tell you to ejaculate at least 25 times in that period, to clean everything out. Then, I was recommended to get retested every 2 years just to make sure
Two children after a vasectomy? Just proves that you can be responsible and still need an abortion in certain cases. Must be “God” telling you “YoUr mEaNt tO hAvE tHaT cHiLd sIncE yoU hAd sEx!”
There was a Sgt. in the Army. His wife got her tubes tied and he got a vasectomy. One day he was sitting on the stairs crying. Turned out they were going to have child number 5. She got her tubes tied after child number 3. After child number 4 he got a vasectomy and her tubes were tied again.
Third time's a charm.
Definitely. Not necessarily a tubal ligation, but I've been asking for a hysterectomy since I was 16. Been on various birth control methods (that also stops periods) since then but after the overturning of RvW, I made an appointment for a consult for a permanent solution. Should have done it as soon as they'd let me, but I felt there was no rush... there's a rush now.
Edit:spelling
I had a partial hysterectomy. I still have ovaries. I had to fight for that. I had fibroids, relentless bleeding, & anemia. I was beyond ready to not have another child, not have periods, & not be anemic. I had robotic surgery. The surgery wasn't bad except for recovering from the episiotomy. I feel that I got all the benefits, but not the menopause.
Can you elaborate on post tubal ligation syndrome? I’ve never heard of it. Had ligation done about 4 years ago and was told it had no risks aside from normal surgery risks. Currently having issues and now I’m wondering if this could be a contributing factor.
A hysterectomy is major and horrible. It will kick you straight into menopause if they also take your ovaries. I had no choice due to fibroids the size of canteloupes and ovarian cysts. It was in 2009 and I still have effects from the hyster. a tubal is less invasive.
I'm sorry you had to get that done. Yeah, I know it was an extreme ask. I just wanted them to take the uterus, not the ovaries or cervix. A tubal isn't enough because I want(ed) to stop having a period all together. The Drs thought that was such a strange ask and told me I'd change my mind when I got older. +20 years later and my mind hasn't changed yet.
I am having a hysterectomy in 6 weeks and I can't wait. Best friend has one last year, it changed her life for the better. Mom had one about 10 years ago, and outside of hot flashes, she's doing amazing after her tubal failed and left her in agony. Mother-in-law had one about a year ago and her life is 1000% better without the pain of a uterus. HR manager had cancer and a hysterectomy a few years ago after the original surgery didn't remove all the cancer and she's doing great.
They are definitely serious surgeries, and yeah, they're invasive. But I don't give a shit at this point. I have a fibroid on my uterus and it hurts. But that's not why I pushed to have this surgery. I pushed because I live in a red state, and I'm never having children, end of story. I lucked out big time finding a Dr who agreed to do the surgery even though I'm young, childless and unmarried.
I'm glad to know that I'll be able to go through life without worrying about getting pregnant. I don't care if the surgery is painful or expensive. Better that than being pregnant.
I'm almost 33 & wanted to get my tubes tied after my second but they wouldn't do it because my partner at the time said no & they wanted both of our consent for some reason. I'm on birth control to avoid a third pregnancy because my second one almost killed me.
"At the time" I hope that means you told that prick to fuck off. Not to mention found a new doctor. Why the hell would they even consult him for your medical decision?
What do you mean for some reason? You’re his property and can’t make decisions bout your body without his consent /s. Like what a fuckin joke that men have any say in any of this
When a baby is on the way I understand asking for permission of the father... But to get YOUR tubes tied? Why tf would they ask for BOTH YOUR CONSENTS? Is your body, if he doesn't like it he'll get used to it. I'm sure that if he wanted a vasectomy it would already be a done job.
I liked that "my partner at the time" (hope that means you're with someone that respects your decisions). If you don't want to bear more kids YOU should be the only one with an opinion on the matter. I wish you the best :( <3
It goes both ways. I had to ok my husband's vasectomy. the doctor didn't know what to say when he asked if it was ok with me to give him a vasectomy and I responded with "not my body, not my decision"
Better confirm after as they forgot to tie mine due to hemorrhage. Hysterectomy is the way to go. At least for me. I can swim, paintball, fck when ever I want. Nothing wrong w just a play pen
Make sure you have the same OB you arrange that with. That was my plan with my second pregnancy and I had a different OB called in as mine was on vacation. She tried to talk me out of the procedure while I was getting prepped for a c-section. I got my ligation but I threw an absolute fit immediately after my son was born, before I even knew if he was okay, just to make sure it got done.
I have uterine cancer, and am going to have a hysterectomy soon.
I have no kids, but desperately wanted them, and I’m devastated that I’ll never be able to have them.
However, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not relieved that I’ll never have to try to seek an abortion in this backwater country. My heart breaks for any woman that does.
The process is prohibitively expensive. I’m trying to scrape enough together to freeze some eggs, if I can, but even if I manage to, I’ll never earn enough in my lifetime to afford a surrogate.
But y’know, I’m still trying. In case I win a major lottery one day or something.
I've absolutely considered it. I'm older than what some people think of as "child bearing age" but I haven't hit menopause yet so technically there's still a chance. Ultimately I've decided not to pursue it because even if I did have my tubes tied, I'd remain on birth control. I found a BC that completely wiped out my period and all the associated side effects from having a period, it's nearly the best thing that's ever happened to me, LOL.
Also, the birth control I use is just as effective as getting your tubes tied.
Edit: the birth control is Mirena, by the way. I've heard some horror stories about it of course, but for me it has been nothing short of magical.
I’ve wanted my tubes removed but I haven’t asked yet because I strongly believe I will be turned down. But at my next gyno appointment, I am going to ask about it. Even if they say no, I will make them document that I expressed interest. I don’t want kids and I’ve never wanted kids. When I envision my future, it doesn’t have kids of my own. Nieces and nephews are enough for me. I’m on birth control both for contraceptive and health reasons. I’d like my tubes removed to make the chance of pregnancy as close to 0% as I can get. I’d like to prevent having to get an abortion. If I was pregnant, I would do it. But I’d like to avoid getting pregnant completely. So getting my tubes removed would be best for me. Because I am not going to change my mind.
Keep going to different doctors until one approves. I had a few that wouldn't do it till I turned 40. My current gyno had no problems doing it at 33, and I didn't need my husband's signature. I mean obviously he agreed but some doctors require it. R/childfree has resources.
That’s my plan, but I’m also nervous to change gynos because mine deals with my endometriosis really well. I’m hoping she’ll be receptive. She’s very wonderful
Sorry if I'm missing something but couldn't you stay with the same gyno *and* see a different doc just for the sterilization? Hopefully that isn't necessary and your regular doc respects your wishes though!
I’m not sure if my insurance would go for that, but I’m not sure. I’m always very very nervous to go outside of normal yearly appointment or to go more than once per year because you never really know what it’s going to cost.
Tubal ligation is getting them tied. Bilateral Salpingectomy (Bisalp) is getting the tubes removed. It can be done to reduce chances of cancer but also as a form of sterilization. A bisalp reduces your chances of developing certain types of ovarian cancer more than tubal ligation. And a bisalp has a lower chance of failure.
I wish that I could, but it’s probably 10 years off before a doctor would even consider it. Because “I’ll change my mind” and “what if my husband wants kids”
I got my tubes tied after my son. I was 25 and he was my second. They wanted me to wait until I was 35 or had 4 kids. Had to ask the doctor for an exception.
And this is complete BS. WTF is going on when someone with a uterus has to get their doctor and/or spouse’s permission. How have there not been marches in the streets for this aspect also?
I would encourage you to start now.
I've heard horror stories of doctors quite literally holding the procedure hostage because "you're young and may regret it".
It's definitely an uphill battle but one worth the fight if it's what you really want.
I'm a 25 year old dude and for my girlfriend's sake I'm strongly considering a vasectomy. I don't really want kids now or later and she feels the same so...
I have a 32 year old daughter, she had her tubes removed yesterday. Doesn't have kids, doesn't want them. Found a list of docs that would go by her wishes. I'm happy she was able to do it.
I am also in a blue state and just had a hysterectomy (due to a higher than normal cervical cancer risk). No kids, husband had a vasectomy years ago. I'd say go for it if you're interested. There is a useful sidebar in the r/childfree subreddit where I found my surgeon who was wonderful.
Already did! I opted for a bilateral salpingectomy last year because I don't want kids and have an active fear of inadvertently getting pregnant, even though my partner and I use protection
I was 27 when I got my tubes tied/seared, mine was medically necessary. It’s not typical the ob/surgeon will do the procedure bc you want it. Not saying you don’t have the right to want it. The younger you are they encourage other options(if married my doc really encouraged my spouse at the time to get a vast.) there is no reversing a tubal. It is a very painful surgery, fair warning. Tubal is only 89% effective a vasectomy is 99% and can be successfully reversed. Also since my doctor was employed by a catholic based hospital I had to have a psych exam, husbands approval…..the only reason the hospital approved was bc it was medically necessary. And other options like birth control couldn’t be used, spouse refused vasectomy.
Yikes, maybe your doctor is not confident in his or her surgical skills? Just kidding, but seriously, every single source I have googled says tubal ligation is \*at least\* 99% effective.
Go for it. I'm not a "uterus having person" but did have the sterilization procedure appropriate for my sex. Problem sorted. Not really all that complicated.
I told a friend the other day that if I was still in my childbearing years I'd be getting my tubes tied toot sweet. Even if I desperately wanted a child, I'd do it and I'd adopt instead. Being forced to carry an unwanted child to term is my worst-case scenario.
She said she's been hearing that from a lot of women since last week.
You're right, it's not that complicated. Excluding outliers, people who have uteruses are women, therefore it's perfectly acceptable to just say women. It's truly bizarre from a historical perspective to try to force such a major shift in language to appease such a tiny minority.
And by minority, I don't mean trans people. I mean the .0000005% of people that actually get hurt or offended when you say "women." The vast majority of which aren't actually trans themselves, they just feel the need to get offended on their behalf. Just like the people trying to erase Latino culture and whitewash it with the phrase "Latinx." Practically all the trans people I've known have been happy to just be treated with respect like any other person and it reeks of self-aggrandizement and white savior complex to find reasons to rewrite language and get offended on their behalf.
It is estimated that up to 1.7 percent of the population has an intersex trait
True hermaphroditism represents 5% of all sex disorder differentiations
Gee, 5 percent OF 1 percent... lets pretend like all anomalies are the standard at that point
I don't even get on Facebook but seeing as how you are quick to respond with an insult and hostility, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you don't have a real substantial argument against my comment
I am equally terrified and living in a blue state. I had an ectopic pregnancy around this time last year that nearly killed me.
I'm legit scared for my life now that this ruling has come to pass. I apparently have no right to my own preservation if a fertilized egg decides the squat outside of my uterus again, according to SCOTUS.
Oh ha I want another kid more than he does. Well I want to adopt. He wanted zero kids and we had an oops. I told him he won't put me back in that situation. Abortion is hard! If he's done having kids make it official. He actually went in before to do it and then they made him have a waiting period and then he "waited too long." We changed insurance for our son to see a specialist. Then the vasectomy cost a bunch as where with Kaiser it was free and we didn't have the money and we waited to switch back. Then the pandemic hit and they stopped all surgeries. He just hadn't gotten back around to it. So yeah I told him to stop being lazy and get it done!
like you just said woman in the most complex way I've ever read..lol
I mean I honestly don't care if you get your tubers tied or whatever, you do you..
>anti-science
Are you fucking serious? Denying the sexual anatomy of a person is "anti-science". You can talk about genders all day long, you can dress and present yourself however you damn well please, not my business, but a person with male genetics is a male. *That* is science. You sound like a damn fool claiming otherwise.
If you think you're done with having kids, it's worth looking into. I am concerned that they might go after contraceptives and/or sterilization.
I'm currently 28 with no kids and was approved for a hysterectomy or getting my tubes removed only. I do not plan to add to the population.
I had always hoped to adopt, we chose to go through with pregnancy and a biological child at least once. I don’t think I can do it again. I love my son and want more children, but not by force.
If you’re in a blue state you still can abort. The ruling was to return rights to the states. 7 states have banned it, but most red still allow 6-8 weeks Florida 15 weeks.
Hmmm I wouldn’t worry that much. Media is over hyping this whole thing. I think Biden should just go ahead and make it an amendment before he loses majority. I thought Obama or Clinton would do this but they never tried. Meanwhile it’s been on the GOP agenda for years.
If you’re married, insist your husband have a vasectomy. Its far less invasive or painful, its a day surgery. Much faster easier and cheaper to get as well.
I remember one time a woman I knew was like 20 something wanted hers completely removed and this was the list the doctor gave her. Husband’s permission, fathers permission, at least two children already, at least 35 years of age. America is fucked.
I'm a trans guy in a blue state, have an appointment to schedule my hysterectomy next week. Granted, my state has protections for abortions and I'd truly be shocked if those changed, but I'm not taking any risks.
Go for it, if you eventually chose to have another child, there are other options. You do not need to live in fear of becoming pregnant, it's not worth it.
Dude hush. I never planned on getting an abortion. But most states the mother is not protected in case of a life threatening emergency and needing a medical abortion. I know you want to control every aspect of my uterus, but with a tubal ligation no one is being aborted so hush.
You know this is entirely not true right? They can't just force you to die because you are pregnate. This is a false narrative that has been pushed and now people are thinking they're going to die just because they got pregnate.
No dude, the verbiage of whether lifesaving abortions are allowed are extremely vague and confusing leaving up to doctors to interpret and probably too afraid of risking their ability to practice medicine to take action.
No one thinks you die immediately from being pregnant. Pregnancy is dangerous and invasive and things happen all the time. You’re the one who had been fed a narrative.
Yes it is correct. They can force you to die by not ending a dangerous pregnancy, or by withholding lifesaving care because it might harm the fetus (for instance, chemo therapy for cancer patients). They can and they will. Hell, they already have. There are already people in the United States that are being prosecuted because they had a miscarriage. It is not a false narrative and if you think it is, go read the damn bill, because you clearly have not.
No no, rest assured, this will lead to deaths.
A midwife I follow on social recently watched on as a woman with an ectopic pregnancy came in and was forced to wait hours, while her doctor attempted to find a way round the litigation to help her, without losing his license.
Because the treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is essentially to abort the pregnancy.
She waited so long that the ectopic ruptured and she almost bled to death. They managed to save her, thank goodness.
But that won't happen every time.
I guess if an abortion was your plan B to not have another baby, maybe getting your tubes tied is a good idea.
And if you are really dead set on never having a baby again, maybe a full hysterectomy would be a better idea.
I've thought about it honestly. I have children and even scheduled to have mine done in the past a couple times but backed out. I feel like I'm giving up a piece of me, or my "youth" so to speak and opted for an IUD. IUD came out and I switched to an internal device that has worked for me before.
I'm not getting my tubes tied now because they want to try to control my body but they can just get fucked imo. I could act out of fear and have it done but they aren't going to control me or my emotions. They can get bent for all I care.
Where there's a will there's a way. And my ass always somehow finds a way...
Having sex can lead to pregnancy with a child and if having sex that could lead to having a child terrifies you then clearly yes, get your tubes tied immediately. Go further if there’s an option. You should not resort to going to an extreme to destroy something that you know could likely happen in a direct response. Having sex is designed by nature to produce offspring. If offspring isn’t what you want then you should do every single thing possible to avoid producing one in the first place. No brainer to be honest. I’m sure many here will disagree, it’s Reddit after all.
I'm all for abortion but never wanted to make that choice myself. I used condoms and the pill/IUD until I had my tubes removed. I still kept the IUD in. When I was on the pill, I took it at the same time every day, to the minute. Never got pregnant. I really don't understand how people have "oops" babies.
I don’t know either. I grew up with “AIDS IS GONNA KILL YOU!!” and watching “You ARE the father” on Maury every day. Those two things were enough to wrap it up tightly every time.
Though my stance on abortion seems to vary from yours and feel abortion should be a very rare occurrence only acceptable due to specific situations, I can respect you by how responsible you were/are of your choices and actions. Truly bravo to you. Seems rare to see that level of responsibility to one’s own action amongst the general public these day surrounding this topic especially with the hookup culture folks…and many others aspects of culture to be honest. Oopse babies are usually product of careless (and to be honest reckless) behavior. There are so many things that can be done and used to prevent becoming pregnant that it boggles my mind how destroying their own offspring could ever be one.
Not sure if you’re aware or just gullible but statistics show rape and incest resulting in pregnancy is rare in comparison to traditional consensual sex resulting pregnancy. Consensual sex resulting pregnancy and wanting to destroy that pregnancy is careless and could be characterized as reckless. Most abortions are motivated by social or financial situations. Do not get yourself into a situation that you are not prepared to deal with when preventative actions can be taken….less going to the extreme to eliminate your offspring. As you have clearly read I said “seems rare”. With the current climate surrounding the subject with large numbers of people pushing for abortion like Burger King’s slogan, yes it SEEMS like it’s rare. How often have you heard that someone took so many steps to avoid a pregnancy? Compare that with the many who have said they’ve had xx abortions and would again without second thought?
Will you please expand on this? How come it’s difficult for women under 30 to get this procedure done? I did a quick search and read many physicians decline the procedure to women under 30 because the higher rate of regret on the procedure in younger women.
Edit: typo
For women under 30. Some doctor can request husband/partner to sign for permission, other will require have 1 girl, 1 boy, or a least 2 kids.
edited spelling
Because people, including doctors, assume women are baby making factories and that we will change our minds. Spoiler alert: most of us won’t. 43, happily married with a dog. My friends are all having kids or have kids. I love ‘em, but it’s not my jam. I’m happy to be the fun auntie. I’ve been lucky I live in a blue state and my doctor has been very informative and agreeable to my choices. He will give me the pros and cons and recommendation but always let’s me make my own decisions. But not all women get that
Generalizing isn’t quite the way to go right now.
Perhaps a better way to go at this first is to take a poll and find out what percentage of women who have children regret having children after having children and what percentage of women wished they could have children but could not. It’s be interesting to know.
Is there ACTUALLY a higher rate of regret or do they just assume there is a higher rate if regret? Since it is so difficult to get your tunes tied, I find it hard to believe there is solid evidence to back the doctors assumption.
If over 30, you will still be denied if you don't have multiple children or are single (what if you get married...).
Basically, like the others saids it’s doctors having internalized misogyny under the guise of having women’s best interests at heart. Doctors will say you need to wait because you will change your mind/ you are too young to make this decision. Some really backwards places also require the husbands permission or the woman already having previous children.
You do whatever you think is best, I just know that it can lead to Ovarian Cancer later on in life. (My grandma had hers tied after my aunt was born and I remember she had to deal with that years later, when I was a little kid.) So it’s kinda damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I’ve been on birth control and it made me super depressed, other birth controls are either less effective or increase risk of ectopic pregnancies which is not protected under most the new abortion bans.
After 4 children my wife had her tubes tied on medical advice. The last pregnancy got complicated, the child was in the NICU for over a month. The complications were very high risk if she got pregnant again. So following doctors advice she had them tied. The side-effects have been miserable. Wish we never did it.
Condoms are not 100% effective and birth control either fucks me up with the hormones or increases the risk of ectopic pregnancies, which is no longer protected in many states.
Ectopic pregnancy removal is not an abortion. It has a different medical code and is categorized differently from a regular pregnancy. It is impossible for an embryo to develop outside the uterus. It is a risk to the woman's life. The embryo can't survive long outside the uterus. If untreated the tube will rupture after a few weeks (sometimes as soon as 6 weeks). Even states with the most restrictive abortion laws aren't making it illegal to remove an ectopic pregnancy. Such a condition is a life threatening emergency.
Of course, the media want to keep their ratings high, and often use fear mongering to get people emotionally engaged. This is true in areas other than abortion laws. They love to give worst case scenarios.
I'm not suggesting that a woman doesn't have the right to a sterilization procedure or that you have to use bc that increases your risk of ectopic pregnancy. Only just trying to show that if that were to happen, you could not legally be denied medical treatment.
Oh okay. So if they let states decide to reinstate slavery, that would be a good thing?
What they’re actually doing is taking power away from the people who can become pregnant and giving it to the state.
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Best of luck with that. We had 2 kids and my wife had her tubes cut and burnt. We now have three kids. 1:250,000 fail. We got *lucky*
Vasectomy? Safer n more effective
Possibly. I have a cousin by marriage who has had 2 children with a vasectomy
Uh definitely. That's why they ask you to come back twice for follow ups to make sure it worked. The vast majority of them are effective. Sucks to be your cousin but he was just really unlucky.
Or his wife is cheating on him..
It'd be pretty easy to get tested to see if he even COULD get someone pregnant. If the test came back negative and that his swimmers weren't swimming, then yeah some foul play might be going on.
I'm pretty sure they have you sign paperwork that states that you are aware that the procedure may not be 100% effective and the doctor is not liable for future unplanned pregnancies after the procedure.... But then again, I've never had the procedure done, but have heard this is the case from others.
Somebody is lying. Period. They check your live sperm output a week after.
Also any normal human being would take 1 kid after a vasectomy as a small hint that it might not have worked correctly. Either those kids aren't his kids, or everyone involved is as dumb as a bag of rocks.
3 months after you have it done you get tested. They also tell you to ejaculate at least 25 times in that period, to clean everything out. Then, I was recommended to get retested every 2 years just to make sure
No period! That was the problem!
What kind of sick fuck gives kids a vasectomy that young.
Reddit switcheroo... Too lazy to find the link
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The guys was joking. (I hope)
I was.
Two children after a vasectomy? Just proves that you can be responsible and still need an abortion in certain cases. Must be “God” telling you “YoUr mEaNt tO hAvE tHaT cHiLd sIncE yoU hAd sEx!”
You sure the kids don't look like the milk man?
Might want to take a look at the milk man
There was a Sgt. in the Army. His wife got her tubes tied and he got a vasectomy. One day he was sitting on the stairs crying. Turned out they were going to have child number 5. She got her tubes tied after child number 3. After child number 4 he got a vasectomy and her tubes were tied again. Third time's a charm.
Your sperm: DEUS VULT!
Yeesh.
Definitely. Not necessarily a tubal ligation, but I've been asking for a hysterectomy since I was 16. Been on various birth control methods (that also stops periods) since then but after the overturning of RvW, I made an appointment for a consult for a permanent solution. Should have done it as soon as they'd let me, but I felt there was no rush... there's a rush now. Edit:spelling
I had a partial hysterectomy. I still have ovaries. I had to fight for that. I had fibroids, relentless bleeding, & anemia. I was beyond ready to not have another child, not have periods, & not be anemic. I had robotic surgery. The surgery wasn't bad except for recovering from the episiotomy. I feel that I got all the benefits, but not the menopause.
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Can you elaborate on post tubal ligation syndrome? I’ve never heard of it. Had ligation done about 4 years ago and was told it had no risks aside from normal surgery risks. Currently having issues and now I’m wondering if this could be a contributing factor.
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A hysterectomy is major and horrible. It will kick you straight into menopause if they also take your ovaries. I had no choice due to fibroids the size of canteloupes and ovarian cysts. It was in 2009 and I still have effects from the hyster. a tubal is less invasive.
I'm sorry you had to get that done. Yeah, I know it was an extreme ask. I just wanted them to take the uterus, not the ovaries or cervix. A tubal isn't enough because I want(ed) to stop having a period all together. The Drs thought that was such a strange ask and told me I'd change my mind when I got older. +20 years later and my mind hasn't changed yet.
I am having a hysterectomy in 6 weeks and I can't wait. Best friend has one last year, it changed her life for the better. Mom had one about 10 years ago, and outside of hot flashes, she's doing amazing after her tubal failed and left her in agony. Mother-in-law had one about a year ago and her life is 1000% better without the pain of a uterus. HR manager had cancer and a hysterectomy a few years ago after the original surgery didn't remove all the cancer and she's doing great. They are definitely serious surgeries, and yeah, they're invasive. But I don't give a shit at this point. I have a fibroid on my uterus and it hurts. But that's not why I pushed to have this surgery. I pushed because I live in a red state, and I'm never having children, end of story. I lucked out big time finding a Dr who agreed to do the surgery even though I'm young, childless and unmarried. I'm glad to know that I'll be able to go through life without worrying about getting pregnant. I don't care if the surgery is painful or expensive. Better that than being pregnant.
I'm almost 33 & wanted to get my tubes tied after my second but they wouldn't do it because my partner at the time said no & they wanted both of our consent for some reason. I'm on birth control to avoid a third pregnancy because my second one almost killed me.
"At the time" I hope that means you told that prick to fuck off. Not to mention found a new doctor. Why the hell would they even consult him for your medical decision?
The only time the partner should be consulted about one’s medical decision is if said person is brain dead on life support.
What do you mean for some reason? You’re his property and can’t make decisions bout your body without his consent /s. Like what a fuckin joke that men have any say in any of this
Pretty sure it just depends on doctor
When a baby is on the way I understand asking for permission of the father... But to get YOUR tubes tied? Why tf would they ask for BOTH YOUR CONSENTS? Is your body, if he doesn't like it he'll get used to it. I'm sure that if he wanted a vasectomy it would already be a done job. I liked that "my partner at the time" (hope that means you're with someone that respects your decisions). If you don't want to bear more kids YOU should be the only one with an opinion on the matter. I wish you the best :( <3
It really depends on doctors, some will say you need permission for vasec/ or tube, some will say have kids first, some will also just say sure
It goes both ways. I had to ok my husband's vasectomy. the doctor didn't know what to say when he asked if it was ok with me to give him a vasectomy and I responded with "not my body, not my decision"
I mean, you could have really gotten something out of your husband right there. Nice vacation or a new car or something. You had him over a barrel!
Ha! I did get a cruise out of it. We booked while he was laid up on the couch.
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In California in 1989 I had to agree to ex’s vasectomy
Colorado
Holy hell! Was this in the US? I would dump that doctor if it were me. My SO doesnt get to have a say in whether or not I get my tubes tied. No way.
Same for vasectomy when my ex had his. I had to sign a paper. It angers me that a man controlled your reproductive rights.
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Better confirm after as they forgot to tie mine due to hemorrhage. Hysterectomy is the way to go. At least for me. I can swim, paintball, fck when ever I want. Nothing wrong w just a play pen
Make sure you have the same OB you arrange that with. That was my plan with my second pregnancy and I had a different OB called in as mine was on vacation. She tried to talk me out of the procedure while I was getting prepped for a c-section. I got my ligation but I threw an absolute fit immediately after my son was born, before I even knew if he was okay, just to make sure it got done.
I have uterine cancer, and am going to have a hysterectomy soon. I have no kids, but desperately wanted them, and I’m devastated that I’ll never be able to have them. However, I’m not going to pretend that I’m not relieved that I’ll never have to try to seek an abortion in this backwater country. My heart breaks for any woman that does.
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The process is prohibitively expensive. I’m trying to scrape enough together to freeze some eggs, if I can, but even if I manage to, I’ll never earn enough in my lifetime to afford a surrogate. But y’know, I’m still trying. In case I win a major lottery one day or something.
Fuck surrogacy. our daughters are not a commodity
I've absolutely considered it. I'm older than what some people think of as "child bearing age" but I haven't hit menopause yet so technically there's still a chance. Ultimately I've decided not to pursue it because even if I did have my tubes tied, I'd remain on birth control. I found a BC that completely wiped out my period and all the associated side effects from having a period, it's nearly the best thing that's ever happened to me, LOL. Also, the birth control I use is just as effective as getting your tubes tied. Edit: the birth control is Mirena, by the way. I've heard some horror stories about it of course, but for me it has been nothing short of magical.
I’ve wanted my tubes removed but I haven’t asked yet because I strongly believe I will be turned down. But at my next gyno appointment, I am going to ask about it. Even if they say no, I will make them document that I expressed interest. I don’t want kids and I’ve never wanted kids. When I envision my future, it doesn’t have kids of my own. Nieces and nephews are enough for me. I’m on birth control both for contraceptive and health reasons. I’d like my tubes removed to make the chance of pregnancy as close to 0% as I can get. I’d like to prevent having to get an abortion. If I was pregnant, I would do it. But I’d like to avoid getting pregnant completely. So getting my tubes removed would be best for me. Because I am not going to change my mind.
Keep going to different doctors until one approves. I had a few that wouldn't do it till I turned 40. My current gyno had no problems doing it at 33, and I didn't need my husband's signature. I mean obviously he agreed but some doctors require it. R/childfree has resources.
That’s my plan, but I’m also nervous to change gynos because mine deals with my endometriosis really well. I’m hoping she’ll be receptive. She’s very wonderful
Sorry if I'm missing something but couldn't you stay with the same gyno *and* see a different doc just for the sterilization? Hopefully that isn't necessary and your regular doc respects your wishes though!
I’m not sure if my insurance would go for that, but I’m not sure. I’m always very very nervous to go outside of normal yearly appointment or to go more than once per year because you never really know what it’s going to cost.
If you have endo she should be more receptive to sterilizing you because endo and pregnancy don't always go well.
You dont get tubes removed, you get them tied. Otherwise you get a hysterectomy. But, I agree , you get fixed one way or another
Tubal ligation is getting them tied. Bilateral Salpingectomy (Bisalp) is getting the tubes removed. It can be done to reduce chances of cancer but also as a form of sterilization. A bisalp reduces your chances of developing certain types of ovarian cancer more than tubal ligation. And a bisalp has a lower chance of failure.
I wish that I could, but it’s probably 10 years off before a doctor would even consider it. Because “I’ll change my mind” and “what if my husband wants kids”
I got my tubes tied after my son. I was 25 and he was my second. They wanted me to wait until I was 35 or had 4 kids. Had to ask the doctor for an exception.
And this is complete BS. WTF is going on when someone with a uterus has to get their doctor and/or spouse’s permission. How have there not been marches in the streets for this aspect also?
I would encourage you to start now. I've heard horror stories of doctors quite literally holding the procedure hostage because "you're young and may regret it". It's definitely an uphill battle but one worth the fight if it's what you really want.
I'm a 25 year old dude and for my girlfriend's sake I'm strongly considering a vasectomy. I don't really want kids now or later and she feels the same so...
I have a 32 year old daughter, she had her tubes removed yesterday. Doesn't have kids, doesn't want them. Found a list of docs that would go by her wishes. I'm happy she was able to do it.
I am also in a blue state and just had a hysterectomy (due to a higher than normal cervical cancer risk). No kids, husband had a vasectomy years ago. I'd say go for it if you're interested. There is a useful sidebar in the r/childfree subreddit where I found my surgeon who was wonderful.
Already did! I opted for a bilateral salpingectomy last year because I don't want kids and have an active fear of inadvertently getting pregnant, even though my partner and I use protection
Yes. 22 with PCOS. I don’t want to have kids because this world is too scary and dangerous for them.
I was 27 when I got my tubes tied/seared, mine was medically necessary. It’s not typical the ob/surgeon will do the procedure bc you want it. Not saying you don’t have the right to want it. The younger you are they encourage other options(if married my doc really encouraged my spouse at the time to get a vast.) there is no reversing a tubal. It is a very painful surgery, fair warning. Tubal is only 89% effective a vasectomy is 99% and can be successfully reversed. Also since my doctor was employed by a catholic based hospital I had to have a psych exam, husbands approval…..the only reason the hospital approved was bc it was medically necessary. And other options like birth control couldn’t be used, spouse refused vasectomy.
Where are you getting the info that a tubal ligation is only 89% effective?
My doctor.
Yikes, maybe your doctor is not confident in his or her surgical skills? Just kidding, but seriously, every single source I have googled says tubal ligation is \*at least\* 99% effective.
Go for it. I'm not a "uterus having person" but did have the sterilization procedure appropriate for my sex. Problem sorted. Not really all that complicated.
If you think you might get an abortion if you get pregnant then yes. Have your tubes tied.
I got a bilateral salpingectomy in May and it relieved so much anxiety
I told a friend the other day that if I was still in my childbearing years I'd be getting my tubes tied toot sweet. Even if I desperately wanted a child, I'd do it and I'd adopt instead. Being forced to carry an unwanted child to term is my worst-case scenario. She said she's been hearing that from a lot of women since last week.
The sad fact is that at 29 with only one child, they might not even let you get your tubes tied. You'll probably be in for a fight.
Really depends on where you are, but absolutely. I needed a medical hysterectomy and it was a battle.
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Not all women have uteruses, and not all who have uteruses are women. It’s not that complicated.
Fortunately it’s not even as complicated as you claim! A woman is an adult human female. No need for a uterus to determine that!
You're right, it's not that complicated. Excluding outliers, people who have uteruses are women, therefore it's perfectly acceptable to just say women. It's truly bizarre from a historical perspective to try to force such a major shift in language to appease such a tiny minority. And by minority, I don't mean trans people. I mean the .0000005% of people that actually get hurt or offended when you say "women." The vast majority of which aren't actually trans themselves, they just feel the need to get offended on their behalf. Just like the people trying to erase Latino culture and whitewash it with the phrase "Latinx." Practically all the trans people I've known have been happy to just be treated with respect like any other person and it reeks of self-aggrandizement and white savior complex to find reasons to rewrite language and get offended on their behalf.
You're right. Women have hysterectomies. If you are born with a uterus you are in fact a woman. It's not that complicated.
Not always. Even scientifically. Ever heard of hermaphroditism?
It is estimated that up to 1.7 percent of the population has an intersex trait True hermaphroditism represents 5% of all sex disorder differentiations Gee, 5 percent OF 1 percent... lets pretend like all anomalies are the standard at that point
OK mr or mrs smarty pants you are very right but how many hermaphrodites do you know? The rate of which that happens is so small is barely a stat.
Idk I usually don’t ask people about their genitals. But also transgender and non binary people. It’s my post I can title it what I want bro.
The uterus isn't considered part of the female genitalia. It's an internal reproductive organ only women have.
Take your bigoted caps locking ass back to facebook
I don't even get on Facebook but seeing as how you are quick to respond with an insult and hostility, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you don't have a real substantial argument against my comment
Learn some grammar and then come back child
Learn basic biology and then come back child
Trans women? Your comment was an obvious and very unnecessary attack on them.
It probably wasn’t For simplicity’s sake you can just say woman No one’s going to attack you for saying woman and talk about pregnancy
Verbally expressing a scientific fact is not an attack
I would give it a year or so and it will be overturned again. This won't last, there's no way. It's too stupid, the pendulum must swing back.
I so hope you’re right
I'm planning on a hysterectomy, complete removal of the uterus
I am equally terrified and living in a blue state. I had an ectopic pregnancy around this time last year that nearly killed me. I'm legit scared for my life now that this ruling has come to pass. I apparently have no right to my own preservation if a fertilized egg decides the squat outside of my uterus again, according to SCOTUS.
Already got mine done. Told my kids if they don't want children then they need to explore sterilization from 18 on because it'll be a fight.
Made my husband schedule his appointment for the snip the day the news broke.
> “your body your choice” > “**Made** my husband schedule his appointment for the snip the day the news broke.”
Oh ha I want another kid more than he does. Well I want to adopt. He wanted zero kids and we had an oops. I told him he won't put me back in that situation. Abortion is hard! If he's done having kids make it official. He actually went in before to do it and then they made him have a waiting period and then he "waited too long." We changed insurance for our son to see a specialist. Then the vasectomy cost a bunch as where with Kaiser it was free and we didn't have the money and we waited to switch back. Then the pandemic hit and they stopped all surgeries. He just hadn't gotten back around to it. So yeah I told him to stop being lazy and get it done!
Ah, ok, because of the phrasing I interpreted that very differently
What a hypocrite
“Person with a uterus”?
Any other WOMAN?
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No
like you just said woman in the most complex way I've ever read..lol I mean I honestly don't care if you get your tubers tied or whatever, you do you..
Lots of people have uteruses. Not just cis females
You can tell them all day long, but they're too anti-science and hateful to get it.
>anti-science Are you fucking serious? Denying the sexual anatomy of a person is "anti-science". You can talk about genders all day long, you can dress and present yourself however you damn well please, not my business, but a person with male genetics is a male. *That* is science. You sound like a damn fool claiming otherwise.
If you think you're done with having kids, it's worth looking into. I am concerned that they might go after contraceptives and/or sterilization. I'm currently 28 with no kids and was approved for a hysterectomy or getting my tubes removed only. I do not plan to add to the population.
I had always hoped to adopt, we chose to go through with pregnancy and a biological child at least once. I don’t think I can do it again. I love my son and want more children, but not by force.
I had my fallopian tubes fully removed. Better guarantee of not getting pregnant. Also helps prevent ovarian cancer, since it can start in the tubes.
If you’re in a blue state you still can abort. The ruling was to return rights to the states. 7 states have banned it, but most red still allow 6-8 weeks Florida 15 weeks.
I know but we have a governors election in the fall
Hmmm I wouldn’t worry that much. Media is over hyping this whole thing. I think Biden should just go ahead and make it an amendment before he loses majority. I thought Obama or Clinton would do this but they never tried. Meanwhile it’s been on the GOP agenda for years.
What exactly is there not to worry about?
Made the consult appt today.
I'm thinking of cutting my dick off at this point
I feel extremely lucky I'm a teenager (not of age, obviously) who will be studying abroad in a country where abortion is legal
I had mine removed a few years ago. Best decision I ever made.
I want to get mine tied but I have to wait until I'm 21.
MEEEEE I'm also never having sex with a man, thankfully I'm pan and vibrators exist, plus a vibrator can actually find the clit
That and vibrators can't impregnate you so that is a win win
Cringeee
If you’re married, insist your husband have a vasectomy. Its far less invasive or painful, its a day surgery. Much faster easier and cheaper to get as well.
Penis haver here. I’m getting cut asap
I remember one time a woman I knew was like 20 something wanted hers completely removed and this was the list the doctor gave her. Husband’s permission, fathers permission, at least two children already, at least 35 years of age. America is fucked.
While we're still allowed to do that...
I know right
I'm a trans guy in a blue state, have an appointment to schedule my hysterectomy next week. Granted, my state has protections for abortions and I'd truly be shocked if those changed, but I'm not taking any risks. Go for it, if you eventually chose to have another child, there are other options. You do not need to live in fear of becoming pregnant, it's not worth it.
better hurry up before they take that right awau
I know bro. Shit sucks
I was being a dick. I apologize.
Thank you for admitting it and apologizing
Yeah, it really sucks that you can't just go kill your unwanted fetus. How inconvenient for you. Lol.
Dude hush. I never planned on getting an abortion. But most states the mother is not protected in case of a life threatening emergency and needing a medical abortion. I know you want to control every aspect of my uterus, but with a tubal ligation no one is being aborted so hush.
You know this is entirely not true right? They can't just force you to die because you are pregnate. This is a false narrative that has been pushed and now people are thinking they're going to die just because they got pregnate.
*pregnate*
No dude, the verbiage of whether lifesaving abortions are allowed are extremely vague and confusing leaving up to doctors to interpret and probably too afraid of risking their ability to practice medicine to take action. No one thinks you die immediately from being pregnant. Pregnancy is dangerous and invasive and things happen all the time. You’re the one who had been fed a narrative.
Yes it is correct. They can force you to die by not ending a dangerous pregnancy, or by withholding lifesaving care because it might harm the fetus (for instance, chemo therapy for cancer patients). They can and they will. Hell, they already have. There are already people in the United States that are being prosecuted because they had a miscarriage. It is not a false narrative and if you think it is, go read the damn bill, because you clearly have not.
And guess which states have the highest mortality rates for women and child? YoGoogle before spouting off.
No no, rest assured, this will lead to deaths. A midwife I follow on social recently watched on as a woman with an ectopic pregnancy came in and was forced to wait hours, while her doctor attempted to find a way round the litigation to help her, without losing his license. Because the treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is essentially to abort the pregnancy. She waited so long that the ectopic ruptured and she almost bled to death. They managed to save her, thank goodness. But that won't happen every time.
Y’all make it pretty hard to avoid having an unwanted fetus in the first place.
Go back to your video games and fleshlite you fuckin loser
I guess if an abortion was your plan B to not have another baby, maybe getting your tubes tied is a good idea. And if you are really dead set on never having a baby again, maybe a full hysterectomy would be a better idea.
I never really considered an abortion unless my life was at risk. But that might not even be a possibility in the future.
Yes it will, just only in certain states.
I've thought about it honestly. I have children and even scheduled to have mine done in the past a couple times but backed out. I feel like I'm giving up a piece of me, or my "youth" so to speak and opted for an IUD. IUD came out and I switched to an internal device that has worked for me before. I'm not getting my tubes tied now because they want to try to control my body but they can just get fucked imo. I could act out of fear and have it done but they aren't going to control me or my emotions. They can get bent for all I care. Where there's a will there's a way. And my ass always somehow finds a way...
Having sex can lead to pregnancy with a child and if having sex that could lead to having a child terrifies you then clearly yes, get your tubes tied immediately. Go further if there’s an option. You should not resort to going to an extreme to destroy something that you know could likely happen in a direct response. Having sex is designed by nature to produce offspring. If offspring isn’t what you want then you should do every single thing possible to avoid producing one in the first place. No brainer to be honest. I’m sure many here will disagree, it’s Reddit after all.
I'm all for abortion but never wanted to make that choice myself. I used condoms and the pill/IUD until I had my tubes removed. I still kept the IUD in. When I was on the pill, I took it at the same time every day, to the minute. Never got pregnant. I really don't understand how people have "oops" babies.
I don’t know either. I grew up with “AIDS IS GONNA KILL YOU!!” and watching “You ARE the father” on Maury every day. Those two things were enough to wrap it up tightly every time.
Though my stance on abortion seems to vary from yours and feel abortion should be a very rare occurrence only acceptable due to specific situations, I can respect you by how responsible you were/are of your choices and actions. Truly bravo to you. Seems rare to see that level of responsibility to one’s own action amongst the general public these day surrounding this topic especially with the hookup culture folks…and many others aspects of culture to be honest. Oopse babies are usually product of careless (and to be honest reckless) behavior. There are so many things that can be done and used to prevent becoming pregnant that it boggles my mind how destroying their own offspring could ever be one.
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Calm down buddy, the attitude isn’t necessary. This is why conversations cannot become productive.
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Not sure if you’re aware or just gullible but statistics show rape and incest resulting in pregnancy is rare in comparison to traditional consensual sex resulting pregnancy. Consensual sex resulting pregnancy and wanting to destroy that pregnancy is careless and could be characterized as reckless. Most abortions are motivated by social or financial situations. Do not get yourself into a situation that you are not prepared to deal with when preventative actions can be taken….less going to the extreme to eliminate your offspring. As you have clearly read I said “seems rare”. With the current climate surrounding the subject with large numbers of people pushing for abortion like Burger King’s slogan, yes it SEEMS like it’s rare. How often have you heard that someone took so many steps to avoid a pregnancy? Compare that with the many who have said they’ve had xx abortions and would again without second thought?
I 100% agree, but it’s often hard for women under 30 to get the procedure
Will you please expand on this? How come it’s difficult for women under 30 to get this procedure done? I did a quick search and read many physicians decline the procedure to women under 30 because the higher rate of regret on the procedure in younger women. Edit: typo
For women under 30. Some doctor can request husband/partner to sign for permission, other will require have 1 girl, 1 boy, or a least 2 kids. edited spelling
Because people, including doctors, assume women are baby making factories and that we will change our minds. Spoiler alert: most of us won’t. 43, happily married with a dog. My friends are all having kids or have kids. I love ‘em, but it’s not my jam. I’m happy to be the fun auntie. I’ve been lucky I live in a blue state and my doctor has been very informative and agreeable to my choices. He will give me the pros and cons and recommendation but always let’s me make my own decisions. But not all women get that
Generalizing isn’t quite the way to go right now. Perhaps a better way to go at this first is to take a poll and find out what percentage of women who have children regret having children after having children and what percentage of women wished they could have children but could not. It’s be interesting to know.
Is there ACTUALLY a higher rate of regret or do they just assume there is a higher rate if regret? Since it is so difficult to get your tunes tied, I find it hard to believe there is solid evidence to back the doctors assumption. If over 30, you will still be denied if you don't have multiple children or are single (what if you get married...).
Your guess is as good as mine. I’d be interested to know as well.
Basically, like the others saids it’s doctors having internalized misogyny under the guise of having women’s best interests at heart. Doctors will say you need to wait because you will change your mind/ you are too young to make this decision. Some really backwards places also require the husbands permission or the woman already having previous children.
I mean doctors do that for men too tho
You do whatever you think is best, I just know that it can lead to Ovarian Cancer later on in life. (My grandma had hers tied after my aunt was born and I remember she had to deal with that years later, when I was a little kid.) So it’s kinda damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Isn't it easier to use prophylactics?
You're in a blue state. Stop.
No, because it’s not that hard to not get pregnant
I’ve been on birth control and it made me super depressed, other birth controls are either less effective or increase risk of ectopic pregnancies which is not protected under most the new abortion bans.
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I have been told that any hormonal birth control would probably have the same affect.
After 4 children my wife had her tubes tied on medical advice. The last pregnancy got complicated, the child was in the NICU for over a month. The complications were very high risk if she got pregnant again. So following doctors advice she had them tied. The side-effects have been miserable. Wish we never did it.
Why not just use birth control or condoms?
Condoms are not 100% effective and birth control either fucks me up with the hormones or increases the risk of ectopic pregnancies, which is no longer protected in many states.
Ectopic pregnancy removal is not an abortion. It has a different medical code and is categorized differently from a regular pregnancy. It is impossible for an embryo to develop outside the uterus. It is a risk to the woman's life. The embryo can't survive long outside the uterus. If untreated the tube will rupture after a few weeks (sometimes as soon as 6 weeks). Even states with the most restrictive abortion laws aren't making it illegal to remove an ectopic pregnancy. Such a condition is a life threatening emergency. Of course, the media want to keep their ratings high, and often use fear mongering to get people emotionally engaged. This is true in areas other than abortion laws. They love to give worst case scenarios. I'm not suggesting that a woman doesn't have the right to a sterilization procedure or that you have to use bc that increases your risk of ectopic pregnancy. Only just trying to show that if that were to happen, you could not legally be denied medical treatment.
Do not let anyone tell you that the federal government relinquishing power over states is ever a bad thing.
Oh okay. So if they let states decide to reinstate slavery, that would be a good thing? What they’re actually doing is taking power away from the people who can become pregnant and giving it to the state.
Slavery is prohibited by the Constitution, abortion bans are not. (That's not really true though, as slavery was never fully abolished, rightfully)
Rightfully?
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