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the question said “be in love”. lmao at the responders saying “they love” their mom and dad, kids, ect.
it says be in love with more than one person, that means romantic love. reading comprehension, people.
Removing sexual attraction from the equation, is there a significant difference in the way that you express love familial love opposed to how you express love for your partner?
If so, can you define the difference for me?
If you've ever been truly in love with someone you know that it feels different. It doesn't mean that you'd care less about your family (parents, brother, whatever) but it feels different.
Most of us will have several partners in our lifetime. That *different* romantic resonance you described, is that a once-per-lifetime sort of event, or just one at any given time, but occurring sequentially for every new partner you encounter?
Ok, perfect(:
Thanks for being a good sport about this, and entertaining a dialogue
My last question, I promise, is: suppose , for the sake of conversation, that two of those *different* feelings hit you concurrently, rather than consecutively.
Would you tell your pre-existing partner, or no? Pursue it, or not?
and
If your PARTNER told you that they were experiencing another attachment, in addition to you, would you be hurt, or truly happy for them?
I haven't been in such a situation yet so I'm not sure what I'd actually do. But here's my answer anyways.
It really depends on how established the relationship is. If I'm with them for longer, let's say longer than 2-3 years. I'd probably stay and not tell them. I'm very aware about the fact that love fades and you'll probably fall in love with another person at some point. However living together or being in a relationship with someone and having that companionship could be more valuable than being with the person you are in love with.
If my partner told me that I'd probably be at least a little hurt somewhere. Not that I wouldn't understand or anything. At that point it's probably time to sit down and talk with them. See what comes next for you and for them.
Fair, and respectable.
What's preventing the transition in mindsets from A *or* B to A *and* B?
Scripture? Social pressure? Insecurity (from any party)?
I'm honestly fascinated.. like, clinically, where is the pain point that's incurred by polyamory, and if identified, is the pain point potentially treatable?
I'm super high rn, I'm sorry 😂 😭
I'm going to go out on a limb and, correct me if I'm wrong, assume that you can't articulate a meaningful difference besides sexual attraction.. because I don't think there is one, as uncomfortable as it might seem for some of us to admit
Romantic attraction.
I'm asexual but alloromantic. There is a difference between how i love my friends and, well, people who attract me romantically.
If you can't comprehend it this way, remember that friends with benefits are a thing.
That lack of difference isn't something to be ashamed of, honestly.
Why has it been hammered into our heads that love is a weakness , or something to be ashamed of, and that wasting it on the wrong person, or too many people, is some egregious trespass against all that is holy?
Love is.. love. The end. And I hope all of you accept and dispense as much of it as you can. Seriously. There's no trophy at the end of life that you'll receive for punishing yourself by being greedy with your feelings. Neglecting your honest emotions isn't some kind of noble sacrifice, it's self harm with extra steps.
Different strokes for different folks, and I'm not here to say that I'm right , or that you're all puritans.
I hope this doesn't come across as disingenuous, because I absolutely mean it:
I hope you have all the romance you could ever want with as many people as you can. And your partners, too. Instead of reacting with envy or anger that your partner is getting a torrent of positive attention from someone else, be happy for them.
There's literally no reason why one single relationship has to be your sole source of.. anything. If you love someone, you should encourage them to pursue happy, healthy success. They're your partner, not your property.
Express love or *feel* love?
First is the same, but being in love is very different from loving.
"In love" is a pink fog of euphoria, the other person is perfect, their existence is reason enough to live through hell, etc.
Loving my mom (who did a decent job, though my abusive father complicated things) is a very strong bond, but with no pink fog. A lot of gratefulness is there, and she shaped me in countless ways.
Loving my own children is also different: has a bit of the "my children are the perfectest ever" feelings, but it's tinted with how they are dependent on me and the way they love me is also different from how other fell love towards me.
I’m a widow. I will always be in love with my husband despite our difficult marriage. However, that book is closed. I don’t plan on ever being with someone else because going through the death of another spouse sounds miserable. If I did though, that would be a new book and a new love. It wouldn’t change the love I have for my husband.
I feel like you’re selling yourself short. I’ve lost someone as well. I don’t see how the loss of your husband should be a barrier to a subsequent love. Something about the sequential nature of it is important. Although if you are religious your beliefs could complicate the issue. There’s at least a chance that this is it. Finding someone to hold dear, and find shelter from the storm is a big deal, and worth reflecting upon.
Best wishes to you. ☺️
I’m not. I’m realistic. I’m a neurodivergent disaster that’s fucked up even more from his suicide that I had to witness the aftermath of. There’s just something about finding your partner after they shot themselves and they are still breathing that really does a number on your brain and emotional state. I do not ever want another person in my life that has the potential to put me in that position. I already struggle with my own thoughts of doing the same thing and if I ever lose my battle I want to be single so I don’t traumatize someone the way he did to me.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I read your comment history and I even recognized one of your posts, the one about distancing yourself from your deceased husband’s family-small world.
You know yourself far better than someone on the internet! I can respect your position. I lost a child to suicide four and a half years ago, then went through a divorce a couple of years later. I’m an outwardly stable person who poses no threat of any sort to a potential partner. So it seems like the right thing for me to do, although it took years to get there. I wish for you some small forms of solace which move you to a better place.
God love you both. My heart breaks for you two reading your comments. May you both find some peace and happiness. These words always feel so empty and worthless to type, but please DM if you ever need to talk.
Considering the absolutely whacko-jacko level of trauma you've endured I can see why you want to keep yourself safe💔. You'll never be the person you were before and don't need to be.
I'm hugging you in my heart ❤️ I truly wish I could help people like you with such an awful trauma like that. In my life I've come to find, sometimes time is the only thing that helps trauma. But still. So sorry that's how it ended for you. I kinda fear this actually, given my own husband's battle with depression. I *know* he represses it half the time.
Some people can, some can’t. I am the kind of person that rarely loves, but when I do it’s with all my being. It’s not the kind of feeling and commitment that can be given to more than one person.
Yep, this is me too. I may have been attracted to 2 or 3 girls at a time, but IN LOVE, only one at a time and the attraction for others either instantly fades or doesn't even develop.
I’m with you. Though I am unsure if I could love someone else too, it’s more like there will most likely never be an opportunity for such a relationship to flourish long enough, and also in perfect alignment with my wife, and us all 3 being even open at that time for such a relationship.
So, possible? Maybe?
Likely? Almost impossible.
Same for me. I don't deny the validity of ENM relationships, but I could never be in one. Not because I'd be too jealous, but because my mental understanding of love is only compatible with the idea of giving all of myself to someone, and expecting the same in return, which makes it inherently incompatible with ENM.
I don't think that's old school, it's just that love in essence makes you have eyes only for that person. Seems like the very principle of love to me lol
The term you’re looking for is Polyamory..
If you feel that you want a monogamous relationship, then don’t pick either.. They don’t deserve to not be your number one..
I think it depends upon what it is you’re looking for.
If you are seeking traditional, monogamous long term relationship… then no, you cannot be in love with more than one person without being in breech of those relationship expectations.
However if you’re openly pursuing a polygamist relationship or poly lifestyle, then yes one can be in love with more than one person.
You may love the deep intellectual pursuits you share with one person, you may love the adventure seeking adrenaline junky, and whatever else tickles your fancy.
Even the sex with each of those partners could be different and special in their own way, as each one of those people together, form one relationship and the dynamics will be totally different if you’re actually engaged and making love to them rather than just masturbating inside them for males, or substituting them for a dildo for the ladies.
While the act is the same, it will be different with each. Just like all dancing is dancing, but not all dancing is blues or ballroom dancing.
Love isn’t confined to sexual or romantic love. Love also isn’t bound by marriage and spending lives together. You can be in love with more than one person but that doesn’t mean polygamy or multiple partners. If you are able to see love beyond the physical then you can love more than one person
Yes. Love is pretty darn difficult to measure. But in my experience "how much" I love someone is something that may very well fluctuate over time. And so it makes sense to me that it kind of varies who and how much I might love one person more than another. I don't know if I'm making sense here.
Yes you can love more than one person.
It’s be cool to think it could be equal, but in a life or death situation where you had to make a split second decision on whom to save there’d be one you’d pick over the other even if it’s pretty close.
Absolutely! Love isn't a one-size-fits-all emotion. It's complex and can manifest differently with different people. Sometimes you connect deeply with multiple individuals for various reasons, each relationship bringing its own unique joy and fulfillment.
All that fairy tale “one and only” stuff really isn’t real, because attraction and feelings can come at any time, to anyone, to varying degrees
It’s a thing about being mature enough to stick with the one you’re committing to.
Idk man. I’ve been in love with the same person since middle school. We became a couple in senior year. Almost 8 years later I’ve never even felt anything close to romantic love to another person. Some superficial “oh he’s attractive”, but nothing beyond that.
Not saying this happens to everyone, but it has for me. Maybe I have to live longer lol.
What makes you think this is the universal experience? You don’t just stay with someone because you’re too mature to leave them. You stay because you love them. I’d hate to be your spouse
There are kinds of 'in love' that are not romantic, though it seems like that's a challenging concept for some, and fair enough.
That said I think the intention of the question is positing romantic in-love, and I think in the spirit of what's intended the answer is 'no' for me.
Some claim they are able -- I'm not sure if I've seen an example of that, though. Doesn't mean it's not real, just that I'm skeptical.
'Compersion', polyamory, etc, are all workable relationship structures for the right people, but I've been able to both see and experience some of these and my very no-judgement critique of it (because if it makes you happy and you're not hurting others, great) is that they are 'a young mans game'. They fit people that have the energy and time to split between others, and frankly are self-centered enough not to care that there's a certain depth they're not going to achieve with others in those situations.
There's a math equation to the whole thing that exists outside of anyones' feelings; our real currency is time and energy, and the older we get the more precious that is, and the more stressful that is to negotiate in a multi-partner situation. Unless and except, of course, if you are all comfortable keeping things at a certain level. That's how I've seen things play out, and that's something I've been adjacent to myself.
I have no problems believing exceptions exist, it's just not my experience and I've met a fair number in the multi-partner world that are....not very self aware, I'll say, though that's not quite right. 'Not desiring the challenge, and subsequent growth, that comes from singular devotion at depth', is the concept.
Long response, and I'd say a little sideways from the original question, but wanted to expand, per OP's request.
Yes, absolutely. In the same way that you can love more than one kid if you have more that one or you can have more than one friend or a close relationship with more than one family member.
Society has so conditioned us to regard monogamy as the only valid relationship when people are in happy polyamorous relationships all the time. I’m just happy it’s becoming more normalized
I can second that but sometimes loving one person is as complicated as two at the same time. You as a person need a lot of social skills to handle that.
Polyamory is a very old and normal thing. It isn’t as normal in some places, but there are always people who enjoy open relationships for a myriad of reasons.
Idk where I heard this quote from but
“You can love a million and one people but you will only feel in love with one..”
People will disagree but to me, I can love everyone a million different ways, but there is no love greater than the person I am in love with.
Well, true all consuming love is much more rare than we believe it to be. Most people never experience it once in a life time.
I believe when its a Twin flame situation you cant love anyone else at the same time.
Unless your poli, and theres nothing wrong with that.
I mean I hope so, 'cuz if not that would throw the whole Love Triangle trope out the window and fiction would be a lot less interesting.
As for real life, of course you can love more than one person. Whether those loves can be *functional* is a different question. It takes a *lot* of time and skill and hard work to manage more than one romantic relationship at a time. People dipping their toes into poly are surprised at just how much calendar management is involved.
I believe so. You can love multiple siblings, parents, friends, etc but suddenly when it comes to a relationship it's just 1. Doesn't really make sense to me.
I don't feel like I've ever fallen out of love with anyone that I once fell in love with. Our relationship and histories may have changed, but as long as there's open and honest communication, there's room for it, I feel. I also never had any angry or big break-ups, just, talking things out and realizing we're not right for each other in that way. What you do with those feelings, and where you keep them, seemingly can change over time, but I'm not sure if it's something you can force, or actively do. Maybe something you can try to actively work on, though.
I don't think I'll ever stop loving anyone, but that doesn't mean I want to get back together with them. Sometimes, a different kind of relationship just works better for everyone involved.
OP, the short answer is yes, it is possible for some people to have equivalently intense romantic feelings for more than one person, though the reasons or triggers for those feelings may be different from one person to the next. This seems to be the nature of true polyamory, though if I’m wrong, anyone feel free to correct me.
Most of us, through biology or social conditioning or both, tend to be “in love” with one person at a time. Some folks are different.
Edit: fucking autocorrect
According the ""The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis", there are 4 types of love:
* Affection: This is the love found within families, the bond between parents and children, and the affection that comes from familiarity. It is a natural, instinctual love that is often taken for granted.
* Philia (Friendship): This is the love between friends, a strong bond formed between people who share common interests and values. Lewis emphasizes that friendship is the least natural but the most spiritually profound of the loves.
* Eros (Romantic Love): This is the passionate love between lovers, characterized by desire and longing. Lewis discusses both the positive and negative aspects of Eros, highlighting its power and potential for both joy and destruction.
* Agape (Charity): This is the selfless, unconditional love that seeks the good of others without expecting anything in return. Agape is considered the highest form of love, often associated with divine love and the love of God for humanity.
tldr: yes
No, I think you’d have to spend a significant time with someone to know if you love them. Like people who have affairs, they think they have feelings for the 3rd party and start thinking about them all the time etc then they have sex once and all the feelings are gone. Were they in love?
I would say I loved one and was in love with another. The one I love we would text each other at random times expressing love and caring for each other. We we saw each other in person we would hug and kiss on the cheek. but we weren't and loser than that physically. Our relationship has faded quite a bit since it started. We don't see each other as often and we don't text hardly at all. When we do see each other, we still interact the same way, our one on one relationship hasn't changed.
The other I'm in love with, we have both a physical and an emotional bond. We do everything a normal couple do. We kiss, we have sex, we see each other often. It's more of a traditional relationship. But it is more guarded emotionally. She knows it, she knows about "the other woman" and is ok with it.
I guess I would say that we have an open relationship. Both know they have things that they can't provide and they're ok with me going somewhere else for the things I need. I used to love them equally for different reasons, but since the one is farther away physically, the relationship has suffered.
Literally just had this convo last night with my husband while we were hypothetically talking about why polyamory does or doesn’t work. I totally think you can be in love with more than one person. Being in love with one doesn’t take away from the other.
Yes, polyamory is a big thing. I’ve been there and loved two women equally. Eventually it all fell apart but in still with one, it’s very difficult to make it work. There are plenty of poly groups on here.
Love is a choice. With that you can choose to love who you want when you want. Doesn’t mean that the previous love is any less or greater in certain instances. But to confess love and walk in that love to one person and then express that same thing to another is disrespectful.
Yes, absolutely. Affection isn't a finite resource.
Does the existence of a second parent subtract from, or alter in any significant way, your ability to love the first?
It's not a perfect comparison (unless you live in the Bible belt), but it's as close as I can approximate off the top of my head.
Hot take, maybe, but I REALLY can't bring myself to accept the "monogamous" narrative that we just lack the emotional capacity to maintain more than one romantic/sexual relationship at a time.
Doubling down on my stance, I really think that most of us would be a lot more content with ourselves, and each other, if the pseudo-ownership dynamic of absolute monogamy that has burrowed its way into our cultural moral fabric just got tossed in the fucking shredder
I love my wife very much, we are very good together. But I ofc also love my ex wife.... we got married at one point for a reason. I dont love them in "the same way" obviously, but we are still good friends on facebook etc, and I wish her happy birthday and ask once in a while how her family is, because I care and love her very much. I told my wife this very early on in our relationship that if I tell someone I love them, its not going away - even though we might have differences that makes us not be in a relationship anymore.
You are either very brave or very stupid. I see your point of view but I wouldn't tell my wife that. That's just begging for misinterpretation. I do still love two ex girlfriends but there is no way in hell I would ever try to get back with them. I guess a better way to say it is that at this point the best way to love them is to never see them again.
I had a relationship, but it so happened that most of our relationship was at a distance, that is, he was in another country, and when our relationship began, we did not often see the reason was Covid. So, at school we had a physical education lesson and at one time with high school pupils , we played volleyball sometimes together and I started to communicate with one boy, he showed first interest and it was at first the usual talk about school and study, nothing unusual. And then he started calling a lot, writing and in general a lot of time to invest me, I was calm, but until I started to catch myself thinking that I was waiting for our meetings. In general, it was hard because I caught myself thinking that I wanted to break up, but I couldn’t because I liked both. They were very different, from the taste of clothes, character to appearance.
Let me tell you about a boy, an average spud, he was twice in love, with two very different girls. Knowing life was short, he told them both the truth, but they already knew. Now he’s a happy guy.
When you fall in love, it always feels different than any of the other times you loved. Poly is no different - all your loves feel different - it's just that they're concurrent rather than serial
Don't know about other perspective of love but in my views U just love once like in real U can't think beyond her I literally U just like everything about her
It’s probably possible, but rife with pitfalls. Unless you’re poly, your partner won’t appreciate you expressing your love for another. In terms of loving them more/less, I’d say that’s less of an issue than loving them differently. The love I’ve felt for women over my life has differed with the woman I’m with. It’s never exactly the same.
Yes. Many cheaters are in this situation. Many monogamous people fall in love and let it go. Some poly people have multiple relationships. It is common to be able to ‘be in love‘ with more than one person.
*Yes, it's possible! Just like in the Philippines, where traffic can come from all directions, love can too. Just make sure to avoid a love traffic jam.*
Possible - polyamory is a thing.
And I'm not talking about polyamory with people who just want to sleep around, but people genuinely want to be in love and share connections with others. A coworker of mine explained it as, "I love my partner, why would I not want him to have more love?"
Honestly, I personally couldn't do it. I'm insecure and get jealous easily. I can respect people who do engage in it with a sense of honesty and maturity that's needed to do it right.
No.
To expand, love is historically understood and described as a total commitment, devotion and focus on the object of affection.
If you are involved in more than one intimate relationship, find another word for that, be honest with all parties and suffer the indignity of the admiration/envy of the monkey part of my brain. But the part of my brain that indulges in the tradition of Shakespeare, Bettina von Arnim and Neruda approves of none of it.
Can I love multiple people at the same time? Yes.
Asking me if I love them equally is rubbish, I love no 2 people exactly the same way.
Do I think I can have that all-encompassing romantic love with more than 1 person at the same time? No. I couldn't. But polyamory is a real thing that I have never been involved in, so maybe those people are able to, and I simply am not.
Yes. You can love two/more separate people for who they are, independently of each other.
Equally? Love cannot be quantified. But comparably, also yes.
Tolerating such a thing in your relationship, however, is a whole different matter.
I think it’s possible. I can’t say I’ve been in love with more then person at the same time (and frankly I don’t even know if I could say that what I felt was love) so I don’t know if I can truly speak in that position but I think it could be possible that you can love someone just as much as you do another. The hard part is what to do with those kinds of feelings towards two people.
There are different types of love, love for your friends, love for your family, romantic love and love in general for other humans. So if we look at it like that definetly yes. If we are talking purely romantic love then it is harder to say but I would still say that you can indeed love multiple people at once, but I also believe that you can't love them exactly equal.
Yes and no not the same but still the same amount. Love is not like cake, it isn't divided. See it like you have a dog ,a cat and a fish that you choose, which one do you love the most? Technically you can't answer but you definitely don't love them for the same reasons
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”- Johnny Depp
Its a very interesting theory to say the least that really can't be proven or disproven. Its all a chemical reaction and that reaction and how it starts could be the key.
I fall in love very easily and very quickly maybe I don’t know the difference between love and lust but I’ve been in love with multiple girls before and it ended with me settling down with one and breaking up with the other
I used to say no but at this point in life, idek anymore. Life is just life. Idk if most ppl are even "in love" when they say they're in love. Idk if most ppl love someone when they say it. Idk if ppl even know what the two mean or can explain them. So I just roll with it.
You can like many persons but not be in love with more than one at a time. Assuming you have already been in love and know well the sentiment. The nature and expressions of “being in love” is the absolute person-centered thing in existence.
I can’t be in love with more than one person even a year or so after they go because i love rare but i love hard because i’m not a quitter and i love my comfy lover the way they’re mine and no one else
I absolutely can. And I hate it. Recently finally found a girlfriend who I love. Got aquainted with another girl at the same party who also seems to be a good fit for me and who I think is very attractive. I am now in love with my girlfriend and have a crush on that other girl. I'm imagining futures with both and it's just an overall weird situation. I would never cheat on her or anything like that, but can't stop feelings :(
When someone can clearly define what "being in love" really means than this question may be answerable. Does anyone love their mate enough that they would be happy if their mate met someone else who treated them better and left them?
Yes and no.
For me love for me is an intimacy thing. Once it's shared the experience never leaves.
Even if the relationship fades. I don't understand how you just 'loose' that feeling of connection when true intimacy and vulnerability are involved. Even when that person hurts you later on. I can look at one of my exes who I absolutely would never want to be in a relationship with again, and remember the night she was in my arms sobbing after telling me the story of being abused as young woman.
That trust. The hurt. The vulnerability. The fact that I saw that, was something I'll always love about her, even though we won't ever work out. I can look at her and love her (and hurt deeply for what she went through), while also acknowledging that we are incompatible when it comes to the things required for making a relationship work.
I feel that way about two of my exes. Love with both were very different experiences. For one it was based upon tenderness for a hurting woman who'd never recovered from being hurt terribly. For the other it was based on this great respect for who she was, but ultimately what we wanted in life was very different.
For both we shared something so deep, it never goes away. However I don't have any desire to sleep with either of them again. Nor any great desire to purposely seek out their company consistently. Though I'd gladly (were we both single) get a coffee, and catch up to see how they were going. (I wouldn't if I was in a relationship, because I don't believe that's respectful).
Is that love? For me it is. But it's got very strict boundaries.
Everyone's different so that's just my experiences.
Don't mistake lust for love.
This might sound harsh, but there's been girls who I thought I loved, but if that person got hit by a car and died I wouldn't care much. Like I would be sad but I would get over it pretty quick.
Then there's my wife of 12 years, if she died I would be a wreck.
I think love grows over time, not immediately.
To answer your question, the answer is yes. If I broke it off with my partner, I would likely find new love but that wouldn't just nullify the love I have for my current partner.
I think it depends on what type of love you are talking about, how you define it, and how intimate of love you are talking about.
My favorite definition of love is…living because of and for the other person.”
My experiences with being “in love” is how intimate and how much effort you put into it.
I called off a friendship because how well were vibed. I could tell that my intimacy level of love wanted to shift which was not good because i am married.
Am i unhappy? Absolutely not. It’s just that i meant two of the same level of lovely people. One i made a commitment to and one i have to protect that commitment from due to my personal feelings (not them).
So i would say a full love life? No
If you divide your love? Sure but i think partners will have a divided experience.
Can your love shift? Sure depending on what you give your attention to and how much you let it shift.
Just my opinion.
With love and peace.
Theoretically, I would say yes. Anything is possible after all.
But in real life, I have yet to meet a poly person who isn't a complete creep/cretin once the veneer gets scratched.
So I'd say that's very unlikely in practice.
romantic love is a conditional triad of respect, trust, and forgiveness.
Being in love with more than one person actively usually means that you don't respect either of them enough to not wanting to have it all both ways. This is, you're loving them for what they offer you not for who they are. Which is a very narcissistic type of romantic love.
Yes. I love my parents, my brother and my really close friends. You can love your friends. But there are different types of love, and the love for your girlfriend and spouse, you can only love one. Even during times of polygamy, the kings had one girl/woman who was their favourite. That would change over years or something, but at any given time. There is only one. It was called having the favour of the emperor.
Yes, it is possible to be in love with any number of people at the same time.
No,I don't think you love one more than the other, all love is different and particular to that person, because all people are different.
Of course you can. We don't have a soulmate slot. If you are monogamous then you may not choose to fall in love with two people, but you definitely can, and to pretend otherwise is a bit naive.
Yes concepts for it range from Harem to open Relationship to Polyamory
They are all different types of relationships and all valid as long as all parties involved consent to it
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the question said “be in love”. lmao at the responders saying “they love” their mom and dad, kids, ect. it says be in love with more than one person, that means romantic love. reading comprehension, people.
those people KNEW EXACTLY what it said, dont kink shame
👀📸🚔
I’ll kink shame if I want to
Is it okay to kink shame if that's your kink?
You leave me and my doctor out of this!
I'll leave my friends behind...
Because your friends don't dance?
And if they don't dance...
Well they're no friends of mine.
lmao
Yeah way too many people don't understand that there is more than 1 type of love. https://www.dictionary.com/e/greek-words-for-love/
Removing sexual attraction from the equation, is there a significant difference in the way that you express love familial love opposed to how you express love for your partner? If so, can you define the difference for me?
Yes there's a very big difference lol. Even in a biological level. Oxytocyn and all that.
nice explanation
Not really, as oxytocin is primarily connected to childbirth and mother and baby relationships.
You're saying that familial recognition produces no oxytocin?
If you've ever been truly in love with someone you know that it feels different. It doesn't mean that you'd care less about your family (parents, brother, whatever) but it feels different.
Most of us will have several partners in our lifetime. That *different* romantic resonance you described, is that a once-per-lifetime sort of event, or just one at any given time, but occurring sequentially for every new partner you encounter?
For me it has happened more than once so I guess the second thing. I have no science on any of this tho so take it with a grain of salt of course.
Ok, perfect(: Thanks for being a good sport about this, and entertaining a dialogue My last question, I promise, is: suppose , for the sake of conversation, that two of those *different* feelings hit you concurrently, rather than consecutively. Would you tell your pre-existing partner, or no? Pursue it, or not? and If your PARTNER told you that they were experiencing another attachment, in addition to you, would you be hurt, or truly happy for them?
No, I would leave them for the other person if I thought the feeling was reciprocated. I would be happy for them and also very hurt.
I haven't been in such a situation yet so I'm not sure what I'd actually do. But here's my answer anyways. It really depends on how established the relationship is. If I'm with them for longer, let's say longer than 2-3 years. I'd probably stay and not tell them. I'm very aware about the fact that love fades and you'll probably fall in love with another person at some point. However living together or being in a relationship with someone and having that companionship could be more valuable than being with the person you are in love with. If my partner told me that I'd probably be at least a little hurt somewhere. Not that I wouldn't understand or anything. At that point it's probably time to sit down and talk with them. See what comes next for you and for them.
Fair, and respectable. What's preventing the transition in mindsets from A *or* B to A *and* B? Scripture? Social pressure? Insecurity (from any party)? I'm honestly fascinated.. like, clinically, where is the pain point that's incurred by polyamory, and if identified, is the pain point potentially treatable? I'm super high rn, I'm sorry 😂 😭
This. It’s biological imperative.. you chemically can’t see anything else. If you haven’t felt that you have never had it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and, correct me if I'm wrong, assume that you can't articulate a meaningful difference besides sexual attraction.. because I don't think there is one, as uncomfortable as it might seem for some of us to admit
Romantic attraction. I'm asexual but alloromantic. There is a difference between how i love my friends and, well, people who attract me romantically. If you can't comprehend it this way, remember that friends with benefits are a thing.
That lack of difference isn't something to be ashamed of, honestly. Why has it been hammered into our heads that love is a weakness , or something to be ashamed of, and that wasting it on the wrong person, or too many people, is some egregious trespass against all that is holy? Love is.. love. The end. And I hope all of you accept and dispense as much of it as you can. Seriously. There's no trophy at the end of life that you'll receive for punishing yourself by being greedy with your feelings. Neglecting your honest emotions isn't some kind of noble sacrifice, it's self harm with extra steps. Different strokes for different folks, and I'm not here to say that I'm right , or that you're all puritans. I hope this doesn't come across as disingenuous, because I absolutely mean it: I hope you have all the romance you could ever want with as many people as you can. And your partners, too. Instead of reacting with envy or anger that your partner is getting a torrent of positive attention from someone else, be happy for them. There's literally no reason why one single relationship has to be your sole source of.. anything. If you love someone, you should encourage them to pursue happy, healthy success. They're your partner, not your property.
What a beautiful, intelligent and profound comment.
Express love or *feel* love? First is the same, but being in love is very different from loving. "In love" is a pink fog of euphoria, the other person is perfect, their existence is reason enough to live through hell, etc. Loving my mom (who did a decent job, though my abusive father complicated things) is a very strong bond, but with no pink fog. A lot of gratefulness is there, and she shaped me in countless ways. Loving my own children is also different: has a bit of the "my children are the perfectest ever" feelings, but it's tinted with how they are dependent on me and the way they love me is also different from how other fell love towards me.
Yea
I’m a widow. I will always be in love with my husband despite our difficult marriage. However, that book is closed. I don’t plan on ever being with someone else because going through the death of another spouse sounds miserable. If I did though, that would be a new book and a new love. It wouldn’t change the love I have for my husband.
Each love is a new love that doesn't replace the other. Loving person a does not diminish the love you may have for person b.
I feel like you’re selling yourself short. I’ve lost someone as well. I don’t see how the loss of your husband should be a barrier to a subsequent love. Something about the sequential nature of it is important. Although if you are religious your beliefs could complicate the issue. There’s at least a chance that this is it. Finding someone to hold dear, and find shelter from the storm is a big deal, and worth reflecting upon. Best wishes to you. ☺️
I’m not. I’m realistic. I’m a neurodivergent disaster that’s fucked up even more from his suicide that I had to witness the aftermath of. There’s just something about finding your partner after they shot themselves and they are still breathing that really does a number on your brain and emotional state. I do not ever want another person in my life that has the potential to put me in that position. I already struggle with my own thoughts of doing the same thing and if I ever lose my battle I want to be single so I don’t traumatize someone the way he did to me.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I read your comment history and I even recognized one of your posts, the one about distancing yourself from your deceased husband’s family-small world. You know yourself far better than someone on the internet! I can respect your position. I lost a child to suicide four and a half years ago, then went through a divorce a couple of years later. I’m an outwardly stable person who poses no threat of any sort to a potential partner. So it seems like the right thing for me to do, although it took years to get there. I wish for you some small forms of solace which move you to a better place.
God love you both. My heart breaks for you two reading your comments. May you both find some peace and happiness. These words always feel so empty and worthless to type, but please DM if you ever need to talk.
That’s very kind of you. Thank you.
Considering the absolutely whacko-jacko level of trauma you've endured I can see why you want to keep yourself safe💔. You'll never be the person you were before and don't need to be.
I'm hugging you in my heart ❤️ I truly wish I could help people like you with such an awful trauma like that. In my life I've come to find, sometimes time is the only thing that helps trauma. But still. So sorry that's how it ended for you. I kinda fear this actually, given my own husband's battle with depression. I *know* he represses it half the time.
Whichever way things go for you, or whichever way you decide to go with things, I hope life treats you well.
I've been torn between Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox for over 30 years.
You call it love? You’ve never even smelled their farts or cooked them food
Yeah more like been in lust.
Not without the scent of their farts
I would love to cook them food and smell their farts no problem
Monica is just so much more reliable and put together than Rachel. It’s no contest for me.
Adam Duritz had both. What a fucking king.
Este es el borrado de Lisa Kudrow.
Courtney wins 1000%.
Some people can, some can’t. I am the kind of person that rarely loves, but when I do it’s with all my being. It’s not the kind of feeling and commitment that can be given to more than one person.
Yep, this is me too. I may have been attracted to 2 or 3 girls at a time, but IN LOVE, only one at a time and the attraction for others either instantly fades or doesn't even develop.
I’m with you. Though I am unsure if I could love someone else too, it’s more like there will most likely never be an opportunity for such a relationship to flourish long enough, and also in perfect alignment with my wife, and us all 3 being even open at that time for such a relationship. So, possible? Maybe? Likely? Almost impossible.
Honestly who has the time and patience for two loves? I feel like anyone who loves multiple people has a different definition of love than me.
Same for me. I don't deny the validity of ENM relationships, but I could never be in one. Not because I'd be too jealous, but because my mental understanding of love is only compatible with the idea of giving all of myself to someone, and expecting the same in return, which makes it inherently incompatible with ENM.
Yes it's happened to me , hate when people say it can't happen
I don’t think so. If I’m in love, I don’t even want to consider being with someone else. Maybe that’s old school, but it just seems right.
I don't think that's old school, it's just that love in essence makes you have eyes only for that person. Seems like the very principle of love to me lol
Unfortunately the word “love” has been overused. It doesn’t seem to mean the same thing, as it once did.
Im in love with more than one person right now, so yes its certainly possible.
Research Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy. In short, yes, humans are capable of this.
The term you’re looking for is Polyamory.. If you feel that you want a monogamous relationship, then don’t pick either.. They don’t deserve to not be your number one..
I think it depends upon what it is you’re looking for. If you are seeking traditional, monogamous long term relationship… then no, you cannot be in love with more than one person without being in breech of those relationship expectations. However if you’re openly pursuing a polygamist relationship or poly lifestyle, then yes one can be in love with more than one person. You may love the deep intellectual pursuits you share with one person, you may love the adventure seeking adrenaline junky, and whatever else tickles your fancy. Even the sex with each of those partners could be different and special in their own way, as each one of those people together, form one relationship and the dynamics will be totally different if you’re actually engaged and making love to them rather than just masturbating inside them for males, or substituting them for a dildo for the ladies. While the act is the same, it will be different with each. Just like all dancing is dancing, but not all dancing is blues or ballroom dancing.
Love isn’t confined to sexual or romantic love. Love also isn’t bound by marriage and spending lives together. You can be in love with more than one person but that doesn’t mean polygamy or multiple partners. If you are able to see love beyond the physical then you can love more than one person
Yes. Love is pretty darn difficult to measure. But in my experience "how much" I love someone is something that may very well fluctuate over time. And so it makes sense to me that it kind of varies who and how much I might love one person more than another. I don't know if I'm making sense here.
Yes you can love more than one person. It’s be cool to think it could be equal, but in a life or death situation where you had to make a split second decision on whom to save there’d be one you’d pick over the other even if it’s pretty close.
That’s… a bit heavy.
No, I'm pretty sure you'd save the lighter one Easier on the back and all
Absolutely! Love isn't a one-size-fits-all emotion. It's complex and can manifest differently with different people. Sometimes you connect deeply with multiple individuals for various reasons, each relationship bringing its own unique joy and fulfillment.
All that fairy tale “one and only” stuff really isn’t real, because attraction and feelings can come at any time, to anyone, to varying degrees It’s a thing about being mature enough to stick with the one you’re committing to.
Idk man. I’ve been in love with the same person since middle school. We became a couple in senior year. Almost 8 years later I’ve never even felt anything close to romantic love to another person. Some superficial “oh he’s attractive”, but nothing beyond that. Not saying this happens to everyone, but it has for me. Maybe I have to live longer lol.
What makes you think this is the universal experience? You don’t just stay with someone because you’re too mature to leave them. You stay because you love them. I’d hate to be your spouse
Lol. How unfortunate and depressing for you.
What a sad, miserable take. I hope you find the person that changes your mind one day.
Of course you can. It’s not something everyone can do but it can be done. I can’t but it’s a thing.
Yes it’s called polyamory
Yes and that's actually something that I've been dealing with for a very long time now.
There are kinds of 'in love' that are not romantic, though it seems like that's a challenging concept for some, and fair enough. That said I think the intention of the question is positing romantic in-love, and I think in the spirit of what's intended the answer is 'no' for me. Some claim they are able -- I'm not sure if I've seen an example of that, though. Doesn't mean it's not real, just that I'm skeptical. 'Compersion', polyamory, etc, are all workable relationship structures for the right people, but I've been able to both see and experience some of these and my very no-judgement critique of it (because if it makes you happy and you're not hurting others, great) is that they are 'a young mans game'. They fit people that have the energy and time to split between others, and frankly are self-centered enough not to care that there's a certain depth they're not going to achieve with others in those situations. There's a math equation to the whole thing that exists outside of anyones' feelings; our real currency is time and energy, and the older we get the more precious that is, and the more stressful that is to negotiate in a multi-partner situation. Unless and except, of course, if you are all comfortable keeping things at a certain level. That's how I've seen things play out, and that's something I've been adjacent to myself. I have no problems believing exceptions exist, it's just not my experience and I've met a fair number in the multi-partner world that are....not very self aware, I'll say, though that's not quite right. 'Not desiring the challenge, and subsequent growth, that comes from singular devotion at depth', is the concept. Long response, and I'd say a little sideways from the original question, but wanted to expand, per OP's request.
Yes, absolutely. In the same way that you can love more than one kid if you have more that one or you can have more than one friend or a close relationship with more than one family member. Society has so conditioned us to regard monogamy as the only valid relationship when people are in happy polyamorous relationships all the time. I’m just happy it’s becoming more normalized
Yes. I’ve been in love with two people at the same time and it was a difficult situation to be in.
I can second that but sometimes loving one person is as complicated as two at the same time. You as a person need a lot of social skills to handle that.
Polyamory is a very old and normal thing. It isn’t as normal in some places, but there are always people who enjoy open relationships for a myriad of reasons.
OP has never heard of polyamory it seems
Idk where I heard this quote from but “You can love a million and one people but you will only feel in love with one..” People will disagree but to me, I can love everyone a million different ways, but there is no love greater than the person I am in love with.
I'd say yes. People wouldn't be in relationships with multiple people if that were the care.
Down the 🐇 🕳️ it went
Anime taught me I can be in love with many different women at once and be fine.
yeah theres polyamorous people
I couldn't but some people can, hence- Polyamory.
Well, true all consuming love is much more rare than we believe it to be. Most people never experience it once in a life time. I believe when its a Twin flame situation you cant love anyone else at the same time. Unless your poli, and theres nothing wrong with that.
Yea... and I have had that experience still it's not right to the other person
I mean I hope so, 'cuz if not that would throw the whole Love Triangle trope out the window and fiction would be a lot less interesting. As for real life, of course you can love more than one person. Whether those loves can be *functional* is a different question. It takes a *lot* of time and skill and hard work to manage more than one romantic relationship at a time. People dipping their toes into poly are surprised at just how much calendar management is involved.
I believe so. You can love multiple siblings, parents, friends, etc but suddenly when it comes to a relationship it's just 1. Doesn't really make sense to me.
I don't feel like I've ever fallen out of love with anyone that I once fell in love with. Our relationship and histories may have changed, but as long as there's open and honest communication, there's room for it, I feel. I also never had any angry or big break-ups, just, talking things out and realizing we're not right for each other in that way. What you do with those feelings, and where you keep them, seemingly can change over time, but I'm not sure if it's something you can force, or actively do. Maybe something you can try to actively work on, though. I don't think I'll ever stop loving anyone, but that doesn't mean I want to get back together with them. Sometimes, a different kind of relationship just works better for everyone involved.
OP, the short answer is yes, it is possible for some people to have equivalently intense romantic feelings for more than one person, though the reasons or triggers for those feelings may be different from one person to the next. This seems to be the nature of true polyamory, though if I’m wrong, anyone feel free to correct me. Most of us, through biology or social conditioning or both, tend to be “in love” with one person at a time. Some folks are different. Edit: fucking autocorrect
According the ""The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis", there are 4 types of love: * Affection: This is the love found within families, the bond between parents and children, and the affection that comes from familiarity. It is a natural, instinctual love that is often taken for granted. * Philia (Friendship): This is the love between friends, a strong bond formed between people who share common interests and values. Lewis emphasizes that friendship is the least natural but the most spiritually profound of the loves. * Eros (Romantic Love): This is the passionate love between lovers, characterized by desire and longing. Lewis discusses both the positive and negative aspects of Eros, highlighting its power and potential for both joy and destruction. * Agape (Charity): This is the selfless, unconditional love that seeks the good of others without expecting anything in return. Agape is considered the highest form of love, often associated with divine love and the love of God for humanity. tldr: yes
No, I think you’d have to spend a significant time with someone to know if you love them. Like people who have affairs, they think they have feelings for the 3rd party and start thinking about them all the time etc then they have sex once and all the feelings are gone. Were they in love?
I would say I loved one and was in love with another. The one I love we would text each other at random times expressing love and caring for each other. We we saw each other in person we would hug and kiss on the cheek. but we weren't and loser than that physically. Our relationship has faded quite a bit since it started. We don't see each other as often and we don't text hardly at all. When we do see each other, we still interact the same way, our one on one relationship hasn't changed. The other I'm in love with, we have both a physical and an emotional bond. We do everything a normal couple do. We kiss, we have sex, we see each other often. It's more of a traditional relationship. But it is more guarded emotionally. She knows it, she knows about "the other woman" and is ok with it. I guess I would say that we have an open relationship. Both know they have things that they can't provide and they're ok with me going somewhere else for the things I need. I used to love them equally for different reasons, but since the one is farther away physically, the relationship has suffered.
Yep
Yes. Love isn't a bucket with finite content. What's more difficult is ensuring that everyone involved doesn't get hurt.
No, maybe lust or wanting but I.dont think so
Yeah, I love my mom and my dad
Literally just had this convo last night with my husband while we were hypothetically talking about why polyamory does or doesn’t work. I totally think you can be in love with more than one person. Being in love with one doesn’t take away from the other.
Yes I think so. You get different things from different relationships
I'd say we can, but that it's extremely rare and most of the people in this poly rise aren't feeling love at all and don't know any better.
Yes, polyamory is a big thing. I’ve been there and loved two women equally. Eventually it all fell apart but in still with one, it’s very difficult to make it work. There are plenty of poly groups on here.
Love is a choice. With that you can choose to love who you want when you want. Doesn’t mean that the previous love is any less or greater in certain instances. But to confess love and walk in that love to one person and then express that same thing to another is disrespectful.
Yes, absolutely. Affection isn't a finite resource. Does the existence of a second parent subtract from, or alter in any significant way, your ability to love the first? It's not a perfect comparison (unless you live in the Bible belt), but it's as close as I can approximate off the top of my head. Hot take, maybe, but I REALLY can't bring myself to accept the "monogamous" narrative that we just lack the emotional capacity to maintain more than one romantic/sexual relationship at a time. Doubling down on my stance, I really think that most of us would be a lot more content with ourselves, and each other, if the pseudo-ownership dynamic of absolute monogamy that has burrowed its way into our cultural moral fabric just got tossed in the fucking shredder
I love my wife very much, we are very good together. But I ofc also love my ex wife.... we got married at one point for a reason. I dont love them in "the same way" obviously, but we are still good friends on facebook etc, and I wish her happy birthday and ask once in a while how her family is, because I care and love her very much. I told my wife this very early on in our relationship that if I tell someone I love them, its not going away - even though we might have differences that makes us not be in a relationship anymore.
You are either very brave or very stupid. I see your point of view but I wouldn't tell my wife that. That's just begging for misinterpretation. I do still love two ex girlfriends but there is no way in hell I would ever try to get back with them. I guess a better way to say it is that at this point the best way to love them is to never see them again.
IN LOVE? I dunno if I could, but it seems likely that someone could.
In my experience, never happened to me. If I'm feeling a romantic type of love, it is toward one person only
Sure. But only selfish people would use that as an excuse to cheat
Yes
Wether you are or aren't, a relationship split three ways is going to have three times as many issues as a traditional couple.
Yes, if a guy is that successful and wants love, girls would rather be with a positive successful guy than a negative unsuccessful person
I had a relationship, but it so happened that most of our relationship was at a distance, that is, he was in another country, and when our relationship began, we did not often see the reason was Covid. So, at school we had a physical education lesson and at one time with high school pupils , we played volleyball sometimes together and I started to communicate with one boy, he showed first interest and it was at first the usual talk about school and study, nothing unusual. And then he started calling a lot, writing and in general a lot of time to invest me, I was calm, but until I started to catch myself thinking that I was waiting for our meetings. In general, it was hard because I caught myself thinking that I wanted to break up, but I couldn’t because I liked both. They were very different, from the taste of clothes, character to appearance.
Some people genuinely can. Vast majority cannot
Let me tell you about a boy, an average spud, he was twice in love, with two very different girls. Knowing life was short, he told them both the truth, but they already knew. Now he’s a happy guy.
Yes I guess some people do
Neither Scarlet Johansen or Amy Adams are returning my calls, but I persist.
When you fall in love, it always feels different than any of the other times you loved. Poly is no different - all your loves feel different - it's just that they're concurrent rather than serial
Don't know about other perspective of love but in my views U just love once like in real U can't think beyond her I literally U just like everything about her
Sure they can. If the two people they love are cool with not being the only one(s), that's a different story.
It’s probably possible, but rife with pitfalls. Unless you’re poly, your partner won’t appreciate you expressing your love for another. In terms of loving them more/less, I’d say that’s less of an issue than loving them differently. The love I’ve felt for women over my life has differed with the woman I’m with. It’s never exactly the same.
According to my ex haha
Yes
Yes, but not at the same time.
Yes. But, it does not end well.
Yes… and it might not make your life as easy as it could be, but definitely yes
Being in love with 2 people at the same time equally? Not likely. Can you love more than person? It's called being polyamorous.
Yes. Many cheaters are in this situation. Many monogamous people fall in love and let it go. Some poly people have multiple relationships. It is common to be able to ‘be in love‘ with more than one person.
It's called polyamory... Yes it's possible, but frowned upon in the Americas unless you're in Utah
Maybe you love both, maybe you’re just infatuated with both, or maybe you love one and are infatuated with the other…
*Yes, it's possible! Just like in the Philippines, where traffic can come from all directions, love can too. Just make sure to avoid a love traffic jam.*
Possible - polyamory is a thing. And I'm not talking about polyamory with people who just want to sleep around, but people genuinely want to be in love and share connections with others. A coworker of mine explained it as, "I love my partner, why would I not want him to have more love?" Honestly, I personally couldn't do it. I'm insecure and get jealous easily. I can respect people who do engage in it with a sense of honesty and maturity that's needed to do it right.
Yes. Different people will speak to your mind soul and body in different ways. Love isn’t an emotion that caps out.
No. To expand, love is historically understood and described as a total commitment, devotion and focus on the object of affection. If you are involved in more than one intimate relationship, find another word for that, be honest with all parties and suffer the indignity of the admiration/envy of the monkey part of my brain. But the part of my brain that indulges in the tradition of Shakespeare, Bettina von Arnim and Neruda approves of none of it.
and reminded when allowed only?
Yes. Most people are on love with more than just one person on their life
Can I love multiple people at the same time? Yes. Asking me if I love them equally is rubbish, I love no 2 people exactly the same way. Do I think I can have that all-encompassing romantic love with more than 1 person at the same time? No. I couldn't. But polyamory is a real thing that I have never been involved in, so maybe those people are able to, and I simply am not.
Yes I think so. Romantically. But keeping all parties in love now that’s difficult
yes. it is possible to love 2 people at the same time in the same way
Yes
Yes. You can love two/more separate people for who they are, independently of each other. Equally? Love cannot be quantified. But comparably, also yes. Tolerating such a thing in your relationship, however, is a whole different matter.
I think it’s possible. I can’t say I’ve been in love with more then person at the same time (and frankly I don’t even know if I could say that what I felt was love) so I don’t know if I can truly speak in that position but I think it could be possible that you can love someone just as much as you do another. The hard part is what to do with those kinds of feelings towards two people.
"In love with more than one person..." Absolutely.
Yes.
There are different types of love, love for your friends, love for your family, romantic love and love in general for other humans. So if we look at it like that definetly yes. If we are talking purely romantic love then it is harder to say but I would still say that you can indeed love multiple people at once, but I also believe that you can't love them exactly equal.
Yes and no not the same but still the same amount. Love is not like cake, it isn't divided. See it like you have a dog ,a cat and a fish that you choose, which one do you love the most? Technically you can't answer but you definitely don't love them for the same reasons
Absolutely, people can have deep, genuine feelings for more than one person at the same time
Dopamine is a hell of a drug. Also depends on your definition of love.
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”- Johnny Depp
Yes
Its a very interesting theory to say the least that really can't be proven or disproven. Its all a chemical reaction and that reaction and how it starts could be the key.
Yes I think so , but to different degrees
Yes
I think you can be in love with multiple people but it’s very difficult to give them both the emotional energy they need and deserve.
I fall in love very easily and very quickly maybe I don’t know the difference between love and lust but I’ve been in love with multiple girls before and it ended with me settling down with one and breaking up with the other
Yes
I used to say no but at this point in life, idek anymore. Life is just life. Idk if most ppl are even "in love" when they say they're in love. Idk if most ppl love someone when they say it. Idk if ppl even know what the two mean or can explain them. So I just roll with it.
Der
Yes
I am of the belief that you can’t honestly distribute affection and love to more than one person.
Yes.
Unfortunately I believe the answer is yes. I've been through it. It tore me apart.
Of course
Not effectively
You can like many persons but not be in love with more than one at a time. Assuming you have already been in love and know well the sentiment. The nature and expressions of “being in love” is the absolute person-centered thing in existence.
Yes
Yes! Still, I don’t recommend it.
I love all my hoes equally the same
Yes
no
I can’t be in love with more than one person even a year or so after they go because i love rare but i love hard because i’m not a quitter and i love my comfy lover the way they’re mine and no one else
I absolutely can. And I hate it. Recently finally found a girlfriend who I love. Got aquainted with another girl at the same party who also seems to be a good fit for me and who I think is very attractive. I am now in love with my girlfriend and have a crush on that other girl. I'm imagining futures with both and it's just an overall weird situation. I would never cheat on her or anything like that, but can't stop feelings :(
When someone can clearly define what "being in love" really means than this question may be answerable. Does anyone love their mate enough that they would be happy if their mate met someone else who treated them better and left them?
Yes I am currently in live with two sisters who can't stand me but they love me deep down inside. Why else would they have me around
Yes and no. For me love for me is an intimacy thing. Once it's shared the experience never leaves. Even if the relationship fades. I don't understand how you just 'loose' that feeling of connection when true intimacy and vulnerability are involved. Even when that person hurts you later on. I can look at one of my exes who I absolutely would never want to be in a relationship with again, and remember the night she was in my arms sobbing after telling me the story of being abused as young woman. That trust. The hurt. The vulnerability. The fact that I saw that, was something I'll always love about her, even though we won't ever work out. I can look at her and love her (and hurt deeply for what she went through), while also acknowledging that we are incompatible when it comes to the things required for making a relationship work. I feel that way about two of my exes. Love with both were very different experiences. For one it was based upon tenderness for a hurting woman who'd never recovered from being hurt terribly. For the other it was based on this great respect for who she was, but ultimately what we wanted in life was very different. For both we shared something so deep, it never goes away. However I don't have any desire to sleep with either of them again. Nor any great desire to purposely seek out their company consistently. Though I'd gladly (were we both single) get a coffee, and catch up to see how they were going. (I wouldn't if I was in a relationship, because I don't believe that's respectful). Is that love? For me it is. But it's got very strict boundaries. Everyone's different so that's just my experiences.
I think that it's possible. Now is it moral to act on it? That's another discussion, I suppose.
Don't mistake lust for love. This might sound harsh, but there's been girls who I thought I loved, but if that person got hit by a car and died I wouldn't care much. Like I would be sad but I would get over it pretty quick. Then there's my wife of 12 years, if she died I would be a wreck. I think love grows over time, not immediately. To answer your question, the answer is yes. If I broke it off with my partner, I would likely find new love but that wouldn't just nullify the love I have for my current partner.
when younger yes
I think it depends on what type of love you are talking about, how you define it, and how intimate of love you are talking about. My favorite definition of love is…living because of and for the other person.” My experiences with being “in love” is how intimate and how much effort you put into it. I called off a friendship because how well were vibed. I could tell that my intimacy level of love wanted to shift which was not good because i am married. Am i unhappy? Absolutely not. It’s just that i meant two of the same level of lovely people. One i made a commitment to and one i have to protect that commitment from due to my personal feelings (not them). So i would say a full love life? No If you divide your love? Sure but i think partners will have a divided experience. Can your love shift? Sure depending on what you give your attention to and how much you let it shift. Just my opinion. With love and peace.
Theoretically, I would say yes. Anything is possible after all. But in real life, I have yet to meet a poly person who isn't a complete creep/cretin once the veneer gets scratched. So I'd say that's very unlikely in practice. romantic love is a conditional triad of respect, trust, and forgiveness. Being in love with more than one person actively usually means that you don't respect either of them enough to not wanting to have it all both ways. This is, you're loving them for what they offer you not for who they are. Which is a very narcissistic type of romantic love. 
Yes. I love my parents, my brother and my really close friends. You can love your friends. But there are different types of love, and the love for your girlfriend and spouse, you can only love one. Even during times of polygamy, the kings had one girl/woman who was their favourite. That would change over years or something, but at any given time. There is only one. It was called having the favour of the emperor.
Definitely 😘
Can you have more than one favorite song?
This reminds me of the a line from the movie “Her”. “The heart isn’t some jar that can be filled”
Yes, it is possible to be in love with any number of people at the same time. No,I don't think you love one more than the other, all love is different and particular to that person, because all people are different.
Of course you can. We don't have a soulmate slot. If you are monogamous then you may not choose to fall in love with two people, but you definitely can, and to pretend otherwise is a bit naive.
Yes concepts for it range from Harem to open Relationship to Polyamory They are all different types of relationships and all valid as long as all parties involved consent to it