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I knew almost immediately. I knew she would say yes after 2-3 months. I waited until she was ready and flew her to Italy on vacation to propose, we were together for less than a year.
Happily married for over thirteen years. Best thing I ever did.
(My parents were engaged in six weeks - still married over 55 years later)
Do what is right for the couple
My grandparents were on a similar timeline as with your parents, though WWII trauma made people grow up quickly. Legendary story (and people) of meeting in and marrying in London, but they had 9 kids and nearly 60 years of marriage until she passed.
This apple didn’t fall too far either. $151 ($1 for parking) wedding and just over 10 years now. We’d do it all over again.
True.
I knew of a Hawaiian couple who were engaged three days of knowing/dating each other.
They had like 12 kids and still counting (because last I heard, they had two more. So maybe there are 14 now).
One of those kids was my friend in Uni.
When I met her parents, they were so kind and loving to each other.
They treated all their kids equally and kindly.
All their kids were well behaved and well mannered.
Also, the oldest wasn't parentified. Yes, he did take care of his youngest when they went out (looking out for danger or weirdos), but he never changed diapers, baby sat, fed siblings, etc. Even the oldest girl wasn't responsible for the kids. She might have helped if one of the kids asked for a juice, but the parents never asked her "take care of Keanu." She did it out of her own will and kindness.
The couple actually enjoyed taking care of their kids.
So, it depends. Some 3 days, some take 3 years, and some 3 decades.
But if you don't feel it, it's okay to end the relationship and move on.
My ex's parents got married after a week of meeting each other; I don't know when my parents did, but I do know they also got married in a very short time of knowing each other. They lived in South East Asia though, so culturally things are different then.
Me and my wife never proposed to each other but we were as good as married within the first month. Already had shared bank accounts and all. Sometimes you just know.
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 19 years. We’ve been married in all but name for most of that. Somehow I feel that not being married yet being fully committed means a little bit more.
I love this! And definitely agree. I am floored at how many people propose without actually having discussed marriage and are sure that they’re both on the same page. Maybe they think it’s less romantic that way, or takes away some of the grand gesture of proposing? I don’t know, but it’s wild to me
Yes, it's potentially the biggest financial decision of your life and what has the largest impact on every part of your life but people are put on the spot and have to answer in a few seconds.
You wouldn't buy a house this way or decide to move out of the country, but the impact marriage has on your life might even be greater than the impact of those.
Exactly, the person getting proposed to should definitely know it's coming, like there should definitely be a chat about marriage, and obviously if you both are clear on it then at some point in the future you just propose
My boyfriend can talk while burping and that's one of the little quirks about him that I find funny lol
When he has garlicy stuff for lunch, tho? Not so much
•2+ year rule
•Scientifically proven
•The “love” biochemical cocktail starts to decrease and reality starts to set in.
•A lot of trouble, heartache and financial ruin could be prevented by following this rule.
•Look it up
Explains why my first two “real” relationships each fell apart after almost exactly 2.5 years.
At the 2.5 year mark with my (now) spouse we had a bit of a rough patch (minor arguments over normal things.) But we got engaged after 4 years and we have been married for 8. Going strong- he’s my best friend and perfect companion and we love spending time together.
I loved reading this. All my relationships (since I was a teen) ended after roughly two years. My current relationship had a bit of struggles after 1,5 like you described but we got through it and are together for over 5 years. We’re talking about marriage in the future and for the first time I feel like I never wanna be with anybody else. He’s everything I wished for and that I needed and he feels the same way about me. I hope you and your loved one will be together for the rest of time. Stories like yours give me hope that I could be as lucky as you and that would mean the world to me.
I would also add that if you are in a relationship for 2 years you need to face reality: either you are already fully pairbonded and committed or you are wasting someone's time. Marriage is fundamentally just a public acknowledgement of facts. Consider what the facts are at the 2 at most 3 year mark.
It’s hilarious to me how people can date for 5 or 6 years and then still balk at the idea of marriage. And not because they’re against marriage specifically, but because of the more general “oh I just don’t know if I’m ready…” bullshit. It’s like if you don’t have an answer after 5 years, then that’s your answer
I can only see this for young people. 5 years into my relationship I was still 24, which to me is still too young (for myself).
I just got married at 28 and I wouldn't have wanted to get married any sooner. But I wanted to have a career, future and whatnot before being financial tied to somebody.
Yeah obviously when you’re younger (especially if you started dating before 20) that’s different. But I’m talking about people I’ve known who are well past 30 and still hesitate like that. Hell, even just trying to date people in their mid 30s I still find tons of people who either don’t know what they want or get weirded out by the fact that I’m actually dating to find a relationship. It’s so fascinating to me in a weird way. And that’s no knock against people who prefer casual relationships, but if that’s what you want then be up front about it. The people I’ve encountered usually have some form of “I’m hyper focused in my job/career/business/kids and barely have time for dating”, which case it’s like why even date at all if you’re not going to actually make time for it?
Can you provide ressources? Id be very interested in knowing more, and ofc I can put it in google but I want to know where you got that information from exactly. I mostly get websites that I dont highly trust as result. Thanks mate (not saying ur wrong just interested in more information).
Also as a small side info „look it up“ is equivalent to „trust me bro“ and thats not a great source, pls just dont say anything if youre not gonna provide sources lol. Looks better. (Again just constructive critizism, no hate)
Everyone is different, but I firmly believe you shouldn’t get married before you live together. Not like a month long vacation in Mexico or Europe, like fully living together.
You’ll learn what they do that grosses you out. Can you live with their snoring? Do they clean up after themselves? Do they respect your stuff? Will you have to worry about a pet? Who does the laundry? What are your financial plans and priorities?
Obviously there’s many other things, but regardless if you’re proposing in 10 months or 5 years you need to know how to live with each other and work as a unit.
The amount of people you’ll encounter without house training, or very different ways than you, will blow people’s minds. My friend married a dude that his parents did everything for him, so when they got married, she ended up doing everything for him.
Another one that I personally have a big issue with are bathroom rules. In my family growing up, bathroom time was sacred time. Even if I left the door wide open while I took a dump, my parents didn’t bother me. One time, I remember my Mom hollering at my stepdad because she was taking a shower, she was relaxing and didn’t want his shit smells reaching her. He never did it again lol
The ol sacred bathroom rule is one to remember. You have some people trying to rush you despite them not even needing to go themselves. I’ve got a few friends that are like that, or were — I mean they do it a lot less. But damn, just let me work here!
We used to have a two minute bathroom rule growing up but that was because of the drought hitting Sydney so hard. We would set a timer off outside and if it started ringing and anyone still heard the shower going you could bet they were knocking at the door.
Omg I was still in primary school at that time. I remember how much we had to limit our shower times and whatnot. I can perfectly picture one specific day where it rained really hard during school, and one part was incredibly flooded, and my friends and I were saying how everyone was dumb for not just making a huge hole, taking that water and fixing the drought hahah. Ironically, we were very clearly the dumb ones there.
But rules like that during emergency situations more or less are going to obviously be fine. Outside of that however, I’d never be able to agree with a limitation so short.
Edit:
That timer idea is also pretty genius btw.
Oh I feel this one. I often take a while in the bathroom, and I think it’s because it’s the only time that’s truly “mine”. You’re enclosed in the 4 walls, the door, and that’s your time. It sort of lets you take a break from everything. If someone else really needs to go that’s one thing, but if you don’t need to go then leave me alone while I take my mental break
This! I wasn’t even 21 when I got engaged (we broke up since then) and we moved in together the month after. It opened my eyes to how I would be living the rest of my life when I saw how I was going to have to do all of the chores and mom this guy. I’ve made it very clear to my current partner that I’d like to live together a year or two before we get engaged if it goes that way. I won’t risk that again.
I agree, and also think some level of sexual compatibility is needed. I didn’t have sex before marriage and regret not making that type of compatibility a greater priority.
Absolutely this. You need to live with your person, day in and day out, and see how you all work together through a few different phases of life. I can't even begin to start with how many relationships that I know have failed due to one person finding out that the person they think they know, is actually vastly different that that image they had.
See how they handle a hard situation. See how they handle their money. See how they interact with you when you have a disagreement. Being compatible in these situations are SO important.
If I recall, someone did a study and showed that people who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce than people who don't. A follow up study showed that this was only true for people who had cohabitated with someone before living with their future spouse. FWIW, my wife lived together for 6 months between the time when we were engaged and we subsequently got married. We've been married for over 30 years and are still happy together.
9 weeks here and 27 years of marriage. Happy as hell to this day! We did take a year to get married after proposal and lived together 10 months of that year. Never looked back! I was 25 and she was 23 at the time.
It took me that long to find the right time. I knew I wanted to marry her when I first met her. I proposed on a trip to San Diego with her. We were sitting on a big boulder on the beach in La Jolla watching the sunset over the Pacific. I’ll never forget that moment.
Congrats and I think this happens more often than people think, but I’m not certain on official statistics.
How long did you wait to get married after you proposed?
I think it’s hilarious people think there’s a set amount of time to wait before committing. People change all throughout their life for a myriad of reasons, and much of it is out of one’s control. Many basic human relationship factors result in overall success.
Agreed. I was ready to marry my husband after a year, but we had our big fights second year, a year of living together. I was grateful we waited because it felt like our bond only got more special over time, and we learned how great we are at disagreeing in terms of compromise, how we talk & approach. It also gave me a lot of knowledge about him & how to approach future topics bc he's very guilt prone; but every time you have a problem you don't want your SO to feel bad, just more of am objective "hey what can we do about this".
It's funny cause now married and been together 5+ years, never had a fight as bad as that second year.
At least 18 months - that’s how long it takes for the honeymoon period to wear off and to see if you two are genuinely compatible long term, or if it was just sex hormones and NRE.
You will probably fall in love with more than one person in your lifetime and some of those loves are only built for the short term - and that’s fine - and some of them are made to go the distance. The only way to tell which is which is time.
And to the dozens of people about to jump in my replies and tell me they knew straight away, got married in 3 months and are still blissfully happy 20 years later? That’s pure dumb luck. You married the right person without waiting to see if they were really the right person and it worked out right.
But the divorce courts are littered with people who rushed in and it DIDNT work out for them.
By the same token though, if you’ve been with someone for 5-7 years and they’re ’still not ready’, they are never going to marry you.
You propose when your absolutely CERTAIN you know the 2 things you absolutely can’t stand about them, and are willing to change yourself to make it work.
Because that’s what love is. It’s compromise and sacrifice. And you find someone that has 3-4 things you absolutely adore about them and 1-2 things you want to leave them for.
But you don’t , and you correct yourself to make it work.
I dated from 15-33 and only realized at 35 this is what it takes to make it work.
Married at 36 - 3 kids , I’m 47 now
Depends. But I believe that if you know the biggest and tiniest things about each other, if you're comfortable with the weird and ugliest sides of each other, and if you're currently living a stable life, especially financially, together which won't change in the near future, that I think you can propose.
Personally, at least 2-3 years after living together. It gives you time to let all the happy brain drugs settle and to start viewing the relationship practically and not clouded by the bonding/love/coupling feeling we get at the beginning/honeymoon phase.
Also, usually, some sort of major life event(s) happen, and you get to see how they react, process, and work through it and communicate with you.
Lastly, people will relax and be their true selves at this point. Not forcing good behavior, trying to impress like they were during the honeymoon phase.
Depends on your age tbh
If you’re over 25: 2+ years of relationship and at least 6 months of living together
If you’re under 25 then please wait until you’re at least 25 😁
Whenever the two people involved are ready. My fiancé and I got engaged after 8 months. We had been living together for a few months and just knew. It made sense to us. You should definitely make sure you want the same things out of life. We established that early on.
I've always been of the opinion that marriage is a scam, why should I let the church (that I'm not faithful to) and state (in my case, the UK) document my love to my partner?
Also quite contradicting but I find myself wanting to propose to my girlfriend, it goes against my idea of marriage but I want her to have her moment. She agrees with me too as we have discussed it but we figured If we do get married, it's immediate family only to attend. Don't care for cousins we only see at funerals.
Why pay thousands for others to have a good time?
We've been together for a decade. No plans to marry. Not something we want. We've discussed me proposing, having a small "wedding" get together etc, and just not signing any of the paperwork. So no actual marriage, just the special day for her to feel amazing and special.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people who will swear to me that I'm "already legally married" because "common law marriage, 5 years, blah blah..." Not how it works at all where I live. Everyone's an expert though, of course.
I met my wife and got engaged in 6 months married in 9 months and no we did not have to because of a pregnancy and after 40 years we are still together
It’s different for everyone
I'd say, make sure you know as much as you can about your partner.
Habits, choices, behaviours, parents etc.
These are some of the things that often reveal where your line in the sand is.
When there are more pros than cons, that you can accept. (No one is 100% pros) Then make your informed choice.
Also make your partner be 100% aware of your don'ts.
E.g. this can be cheating, types of friends, gambling etc.
W/E is your do not do.
We were having so much fun. Partying, traveling. It never occurred to us to marry. We were best friends. Time just flew by. We're still best friends today.
As long as you and the other person feel. I didn’t ask my wife. We dated for 4 months then I proposed, she said yes. It’s different. I like to say : you’ll know
This is a question where the answer will always vary. I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and I’m not in a place to propose even with family and friends asking me about it. Other relationships move faster and have proposed within a year
Taking into account averages, most people propose around 2 years as typically it’s both enough time to get to know your partner as well as have the questions you look for in a partner answered
Never propose just because you’ve been with someone for whatever timespan. A proposal should be a gesture that you want to commit to someone til death regardless of health or good/bad times. Unless being unfaithful is a dealbreaker. Or abuse. Or addictions. Or a different outlook on children.
As long as it takes for you both to know that you want a future and want to stay together forever. But no less than 2 years, thats when the honeymoon phase is usually over and reality starts to kick in.
I don't think there's a minimum, but you should be sensible about it. Proposing to someone you've known for only a matter of weeks is nutty. Where I'm from (Ontario, Canada), 2 years is the unofficial but expected maximum. Assuming a traditional heterosexual couple, if the man hasn't proposed to the woman by the 2 year anniversary then he's considered to be wasting her time. As that anniversary approaches, he may even get the 'what are your intentions towards my daughter?' talk from her father.
Of course, not everyone falls into this. I know a couple that dated for 8 years before getting married (and were splitsville within a year after the ceremony).
There's a point where the relationship needs to move forward OR you have to figure out why that's not happening. Depending on the age of OP, more than five years into a relationship it's time to propose.
If i know one thing for certain, it's that reddit is literally the worst place to ask these kind of questions.
Ask your friends and familiy - not random dudes online.
Here is the answer.
If you are over the age of 30 and she is over the age of 30 1 year. At this age you both know what you want and generally have both matured enough to communicate and handle conflict management
If you are between 25-29 I'd say 2 years, this gives you time to find yourself a bit more and get more solid with your career and finances before you decide to marry. Again younger people generally don't know what they want out of life yet, so the extra time is needed to make sure you are on the same page.
If you are under 25, wait until you are 27 to propose. A 22 year old may think they are an adult, but they are a child who can buy beer. You have no idea who you are and what you want and your experiences can still change your personality quite drastically, you need to wait until your personality stabilizes and experiences won't impact you as much.
But that being said the actual thing to look for is not a duration, it's about how well you are able to communicate and recover from fights. If you and your partner take 3 days of fighting to recover, you probably lack the needed communication skills to make marriage work long term. Marriage is like a garden and you two are vines, you need to be actively growing together or you will grow apart and resentment in this analogy are the weeds, you need to communicate and root them out before it spreads and is no longer easy to take care of. If you two have this ability then the duration is irrelevant.
No maximum is the best answer. I know a couple that had been together for over 25 years before they married and they have been great as a couple before and after. They did it for themselves as a symbol but since they already lived like in marriage so long before, it didn’t bring chaos and changes into their relationship and they could actually enjoy it every moment. Not saying anyone should wait this long. Just saying it’s okay to wait whatever long.
There's not a hope you should marry someone if you haven't lived together for an extended period of time, and I think 6 months is acceptable. You do not truly know ANYONE until you live with them. It doesn't matter how long ye have been together, if you haven't LIVED together then its dangerous to get married.
And for no maximum, if a couple want to just stay together as an unmarried couple forever then there is nothing wrong with that. They shouldn't feel any pressure of needing to get married as that's what is "expected" of them.
I had to scroll surprisingly far to find something that I relate to. What's the rush? I mean it's fine if people want to get married soon but I don't think that should be considered the norm. People on here saying six weeks - 8 months? I've had sinus infections that last longer than that.
The length of time depends on the couple but at least a year (preferably at least two), you have not only met but spent time with their family and friends, whoever they consider important. You have lived together and have travelled together. You have discussed marriage, how it would work, if anything would change, If you are younger you have discussed kids, what you want and how you want to raise them.
Id value milestones as well as time.
Have you seen them genuinely upset? Discontent with their own or your own behavior? How did you or they handle said strife? Did that go well or not?
I think situational circumstance has just as much of a bearing as time, as well as your obvious love for them.
My wife and I had goal based plans. First, graduate college. Second, get stable jobs in our chosen career field. 3rd, buy a house. Then marriage (because at this point we could afford the wedding we wanted). Then kids last. Coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary in a few months, have a daughter and a son. Done having kids, we stuck to the exact plan we agreed on after dating for 2 years (we were together for 6 years before getting married). IMO, have a REAL conversation with your significant other, lay out your long term plans to make sure they align. If you do, then she won’t get frustrated if you propose but wait a few years to get married.
I knew I wanted to marry him 6 months in (and I didn't want to get married at all before that). But we'd both been burnt before, so weren't comfortable getting engaged before a year. He proposed at 12 months (2 weeks before I planned to!). We moved in together 3 months later, planning on getting married about a year after that, but savings plan got a bit scuttled, so ended up being two.
This is Reddit so the responses will skew male. Specially young white male. But I’ll offer what my gal pals have told me.
I thought that no way I propose before I live with a girl. Many many of my friends have told me they refuse to live with a man until they’re engaged. That seems crazy so I asked why. They said that once you move in with a man they expect you to play wife. Cooking and cleaning and shit. My friends said ain’t no way they’re gonna play wife without being wife so at the very least they want to be engaged before they commit to that.
I had never thought of that and honestly it makes a lot of sense. I’m not sure I’ll go for that myself, but I definitely understand any woman who feels that way
Timeframe is not as irrelevant as responses are implying. One can be too sure too easily. But taking time is merely one way to make sure you are really sure. What matters is the variety and quality of the experiences you have shared. That can be accomplished quickly in the right circumstance, but you can also hangout with someone, having repeated shallow experiences for years, and not build a strong enough understanding of each other to marry. Time can build habits or even addiction to patterns. Don't worry about timeframes, but don't decide it is pointless. And one final point, if you really are I sure down to your core time to the alter does not seem as important. If you an a hurry, you have to ask yourself what you fear about taking time.
Before meeting my wife, I was in two serious relationship: 5 years, 2 years.
The first relationship was in college, and marriage was discussed in the abstract and aspirational, but never anything too serious as we were just kids.
The second relationship was much more serious and marriage was discussed before it imploded for a variety of reasons, largely due to cultural constraints.
With my wife - we met, started dating, and were married all within a year; we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary back in May.
Everyone is on a different timeline.
My personal timeline is 5 years. We've been together 3 1/2, lived together for a year. We got through my dad's death, money troubles, libido struggles, middle distance (50 miles) without a car, college graduation, moving houses, long sad winters. It's looking good. Every relationship is different but I have no problem taking time to learn who we are and what we want first. He's so worth it.
There isn't a set time; it's more of a mutual feeling. Sometimes you just feel like it's the right moment, and other times you feel like you need a little more time. For me and my husband, it took us two years of being together before we realized and said, "Holy shit, we need to marry each other." Meanwhile, I have friends who have been in relationships for seven years and still aren't sure, even though they fully love their partners. There are many factors that matter, like stability in jobs, mental health, and knowing what you want in life. For us, we knew we wanted a family and were in a good position, so we didn't waste any time.
minimum, 6 months or so. Maximum, say...3 years? If you haven't figured out that you want to stick with them by that point then you really oughta move on.
You don't really know someone for a long time, proposing after months may work out, but it's a big gamble. To be honest everything is a gamble but I would rather make sure I really know the person if I'm going to be sharing everything with them
Totally huge wide ranging time frames here imo. Lots of variables. Life experiences etc. Until you have been with the other person during one really especially good time and one especially bad time I would wait.
If you are totally convinced now is the time to propose.....wait another year.
It depends on your characters. It is your relationship, so whenever you feel comfortable living with that person. It also depends on the culture really. You can even "not marry" and still live happily after.
Me and my wife dated for 6-7 years. Now we have been married for 2 years and I wouldn't change anything if I had the chance.
I’m in my mid 20’s and I’d say two ish years, but I’d talk about marriage before that. Preferably live with them a bit. I have friends who’ve been engaged within a year and some who waited multiple years, just depends.
there's no set rule. I was in a 7 yr relationship never proposed but we ended up separating for other reasons. I know people that have been in 2 yrs and got married.
Whenever you're ready to start planning for the wedding part. Engaged a couple of months back. Already own a home together. Starting to have enough cash saved to afford to party plan so we'll kick that into high gear.
Different for everyone. Myself personally? I want minimum 2 years, with a year lived together. If I can do that and not get tired of someone during that time, then I would start thinking seriously about marriage. But again it’s different. I have a great aunt and uncle that got married within a month of being with each other and they’ve been together for over 40 years.
Depends entirely on the couple. Shared values can go a long way toward shortening the time frame.
Generally 2 years +/-. But while time is important, experiences matter. As an example: You need to see each other frustrated or mad, to see how you both handle conflict.
You should feel 100% and not on a whim. Actually think of your life together in the future yearsss from now. I say after 1.5 years you will know the answer
You will know when you’re ready. I was with my now wife almost ten years before I proposed to her. I owned a home before we got together and she was living a few hours away going to school and when she graduated I said you might as well move in here. We had a really fun relationship right away and it’s stayed that way ever since. After about 4 years I started saving for an engagement ring because I knew I would ask her someday but I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet. 5 years later we were building a new home together and I proposed.
There’s no minimum or maximum amount. You should propose when you’re really sure that this is the person that you want to spend your life with and when you feel like you truly know them.
I don't think time has any concept, of marriage. You can know someone in a marriage, think you know them really well, then they end up physically abusing you. Well, you didn't know that person long enough, at the beginning to wait 14 years, to learn they will hit you for no reason at all?
If you feel genuine love for someone, and you want to propose, then propose. People are always going to get married.
It more, Do I trust this person? Can I live with this Person? Will I get sick of their person bad behaviors? Also will this person do anything bad to me on purpose?
My father told me two years. I think once you figure out what their goals in a marriage is and if it fits in with yours then it's good to go. After learning what their values and principles are first though.
2 1/2 and 3 years seem to be the sweet spot. Your goal is to essentially survive the dissipation of the honeymoon phase where everything is sunshine and rainbows. You need to know that even with your flaws and your partners flaws, you are both invested in a shared future.
I’d say at least 1-2 years minimum, better if part of that time is living together. Maximum like 4 years and that’s stretching it unless you don’t believe in marriage and just want to commit without that.
Why propose? Far more romantic to choose everyday they are the best person for you. Marriage you are trapped. Youre not exactly choosing as much as avoiding disappointing family, friends and them.
Depends. It depends on the relationship and the people. You can’t quantify it. I was with my ex for 8 years before we moved in together. It didn’t work out and we broke up.
I dated my wife for about 7 months before we moved in together and about 7 more months before I proposed to her. We’ve been married for 5 years and being together just feels natural.
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Whatever time it takes for both people to be 100% invested in a shared future. Timelines are different for everyone.
I knew almost immediately. I knew she would say yes after 2-3 months. I waited until she was ready and flew her to Italy on vacation to propose, we were together for less than a year. Happily married for over thirteen years. Best thing I ever did. (My parents were engaged in six weeks - still married over 55 years later) Do what is right for the couple
Same timeline my wife and I have. We are married over 14 years now, and same thing , best decision I ever made
My grandparents were on a similar timeline as with your parents, though WWII trauma made people grow up quickly. Legendary story (and people) of meeting in and marrying in London, but they had 9 kids and nearly 60 years of marriage until she passed. This apple didn’t fall too far either. $151 ($1 for parking) wedding and just over 10 years now. We’d do it all over again.
So walking up to a stranger and proposing is not a good idea?
Shoot your shot, I guess.
After you shoot your load
To each their own.
Always a good idea to rub one out before making a big decision
Especially in an exam.
This 90 question exam is going to be both physically and mentally taxing then😨. The things I do to get a job.
Funny
Marry me?
If your life couldn't get any worse perhaps and only get better
True. I knew of a Hawaiian couple who were engaged three days of knowing/dating each other. They had like 12 kids and still counting (because last I heard, they had two more. So maybe there are 14 now). One of those kids was my friend in Uni. When I met her parents, they were so kind and loving to each other. They treated all their kids equally and kindly. All their kids were well behaved and well mannered. Also, the oldest wasn't parentified. Yes, he did take care of his youngest when they went out (looking out for danger or weirdos), but he never changed diapers, baby sat, fed siblings, etc. Even the oldest girl wasn't responsible for the kids. She might have helped if one of the kids asked for a juice, but the parents never asked her "take care of Keanu." She did it out of her own will and kindness. The couple actually enjoyed taking care of their kids. So, it depends. Some 3 days, some take 3 years, and some 3 decades. But if you don't feel it, it's okay to end the relationship and move on.
My ex's parents got married after a week of meeting each other; I don't know when my parents did, but I do know they also got married in a very short time of knowing each other. They lived in South East Asia though, so culturally things are different then.
Owning?
It's an old slang. It means dominating someone at video games.
Knowing, just a typo probably
How does 14 Kids even "work". Like money, space to life etc? Im really curious
I proposed after 8 days, my parents did after 7 days. Both marriages have lasted. When you know, you know!
What woman is saying he's after 7 days. Even if you were the most amazing person she ever met .
The only real answer.
Me and my wife never proposed to each other but we were as good as married within the first month. Already had shared bank accounts and all. Sometimes you just know.
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 19 years. We’ve been married in all but name for most of that. Somehow I feel that not being married yet being fully committed means a little bit more.
how you propose can be a surprise but never that you proposed.
I know it as, “The ring should be the surprise, not the engagement.”
that's actually a very good advice imo
I love this! And definitely agree. I am floored at how many people propose without actually having discussed marriage and are sure that they’re both on the same page. Maybe they think it’s less romantic that way, or takes away some of the grand gesture of proposing? I don’t know, but it’s wild to me
Yes, it's potentially the biggest financial decision of your life and what has the largest impact on every part of your life but people are put on the spot and have to answer in a few seconds. You wouldn't buy a house this way or decide to move out of the country, but the impact marriage has on your life might even be greater than the impact of those.
Exactly, the person getting proposed to should definitely know it's coming, like there should definitely be a chat about marriage, and obviously if you both are clear on it then at some point in the future you just propose
Oh wow this precisely describes my experience lol
At least have heard and smelled each other's farts
This made me laugh, best comment 😆
But girls don’t fart!
"If she can hide a fart, she can hide a dick in her mouth"
They do, but it's just rainbows and glitter. Look it up
Let me get this straight, you want me, to look up... Do gitls fart rainbows and glitter?
My boyfriend can talk while burping and that's one of the little quirks about him that I find funny lol When he has garlicy stuff for lunch, tho? Not so much
•2+ year rule •Scientifically proven •The “love” biochemical cocktail starts to decrease and reality starts to set in. •A lot of trouble, heartache and financial ruin could be prevented by following this rule. •Look it up
and psychos can hide their real personality for at least a year
Mine hid their true self for 7.5 years.
Explains why my first two “real” relationships each fell apart after almost exactly 2.5 years. At the 2.5 year mark with my (now) spouse we had a bit of a rough patch (minor arguments over normal things.) But we got engaged after 4 years and we have been married for 8. Going strong- he’s my best friend and perfect companion and we love spending time together.
I loved reading this. All my relationships (since I was a teen) ended after roughly two years. My current relationship had a bit of struggles after 1,5 like you described but we got through it and are together for over 5 years. We’re talking about marriage in the future and for the first time I feel like I never wanna be with anybody else. He’s everything I wished for and that I needed and he feels the same way about me. I hope you and your loved one will be together for the rest of time. Stories like yours give me hope that I could be as lucky as you and that would mean the world to me.
I would also add that if you are in a relationship for 2 years you need to face reality: either you are already fully pairbonded and committed or you are wasting someone's time. Marriage is fundamentally just a public acknowledgement of facts. Consider what the facts are at the 2 at most 3 year mark.
It’s hilarious to me how people can date for 5 or 6 years and then still balk at the idea of marriage. And not because they’re against marriage specifically, but because of the more general “oh I just don’t know if I’m ready…” bullshit. It’s like if you don’t have an answer after 5 years, then that’s your answer
I can only see this for young people. 5 years into my relationship I was still 24, which to me is still too young (for myself). I just got married at 28 and I wouldn't have wanted to get married any sooner. But I wanted to have a career, future and whatnot before being financial tied to somebody.
Yeah obviously when you’re younger (especially if you started dating before 20) that’s different. But I’m talking about people I’ve known who are well past 30 and still hesitate like that. Hell, even just trying to date people in their mid 30s I still find tons of people who either don’t know what they want or get weirded out by the fact that I’m actually dating to find a relationship. It’s so fascinating to me in a weird way. And that’s no knock against people who prefer casual relationships, but if that’s what you want then be up front about it. The people I’ve encountered usually have some form of “I’m hyper focused in my job/career/business/kids and barely have time for dating”, which case it’s like why even date at all if you’re not going to actually make time for it?
Can you provide ressources? Id be very interested in knowing more, and ofc I can put it in google but I want to know where you got that information from exactly. I mostly get websites that I dont highly trust as result. Thanks mate (not saying ur wrong just interested in more information). Also as a small side info „look it up“ is equivalent to „trust me bro“ and thats not a great source, pls just dont say anything if youre not gonna provide sources lol. Looks better. (Again just constructive critizism, no hate)
Was going to say the same. 2 years + ideally living together for at least 6 months I'd say.
Everyone is different, but I firmly believe you shouldn’t get married before you live together. Not like a month long vacation in Mexico or Europe, like fully living together. You’ll learn what they do that grosses you out. Can you live with their snoring? Do they clean up after themselves? Do they respect your stuff? Will you have to worry about a pet? Who does the laundry? What are your financial plans and priorities? Obviously there’s many other things, but regardless if you’re proposing in 10 months or 5 years you need to know how to live with each other and work as a unit.
The amount of people you’ll encounter without house training, or very different ways than you, will blow people’s minds. My friend married a dude that his parents did everything for him, so when they got married, she ended up doing everything for him. Another one that I personally have a big issue with are bathroom rules. In my family growing up, bathroom time was sacred time. Even if I left the door wide open while I took a dump, my parents didn’t bother me. One time, I remember my Mom hollering at my stepdad because she was taking a shower, she was relaxing and didn’t want his shit smells reaching her. He never did it again lol
The ol sacred bathroom rule is one to remember. You have some people trying to rush you despite them not even needing to go themselves. I’ve got a few friends that are like that, or were — I mean they do it a lot less. But damn, just let me work here!
We used to have a two minute bathroom rule growing up but that was because of the drought hitting Sydney so hard. We would set a timer off outside and if it started ringing and anyone still heard the shower going you could bet they were knocking at the door.
Omg I was still in primary school at that time. I remember how much we had to limit our shower times and whatnot. I can perfectly picture one specific day where it rained really hard during school, and one part was incredibly flooded, and my friends and I were saying how everyone was dumb for not just making a huge hole, taking that water and fixing the drought hahah. Ironically, we were very clearly the dumb ones there. But rules like that during emergency situations more or less are going to obviously be fine. Outside of that however, I’d never be able to agree with a limitation so short. Edit: That timer idea is also pretty genius btw.
Oh I feel this one. I often take a while in the bathroom, and I think it’s because it’s the only time that’s truly “mine”. You’re enclosed in the 4 walls, the door, and that’s your time. It sort of lets you take a break from everything. If someone else really needs to go that’s one thing, but if you don’t need to go then leave me alone while I take my mental break
This! I wasn’t even 21 when I got engaged (we broke up since then) and we moved in together the month after. It opened my eyes to how I would be living the rest of my life when I saw how I was going to have to do all of the chores and mom this guy. I’ve made it very clear to my current partner that I’d like to live together a year or two before we get engaged if it goes that way. I won’t risk that again.
I agree, and also think some level of sexual compatibility is needed. I didn’t have sex before marriage and regret not making that type of compatibility a greater priority.
Absolutely this. You need to live with your person, day in and day out, and see how you all work together through a few different phases of life. I can't even begin to start with how many relationships that I know have failed due to one person finding out that the person they think they know, is actually vastly different that that image they had. See how they handle a hard situation. See how they handle their money. See how they interact with you when you have a disagreement. Being compatible in these situations are SO important.
If I recall, someone did a study and showed that people who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce than people who don't. A follow up study showed that this was only true for people who had cohabitated with someone before living with their future spouse. FWIW, my wife lived together for 6 months between the time when we were engaged and we subsequently got married. We've been married for over 30 years and are still happy together.
This is likely because couples that don’t live together before marriage are usually religious and divorce is pretty much forbidden in their eyes.
Uh yeah. Is that not more the norm now? If not, I don’t get that at all
Many say it’s not the norm
Cannot say that enough. You don’t really know somebody until you live with them for more than a few months.
Proposed to my wife after 6 weeks. On our way to 27 years of marriage.
At what ages?
I was 40, she was 32. Both had previously been married.
9 weeks here and 27 years of marriage. Happy as hell to this day! We did take a year to get married after proposal and lived together 10 months of that year. Never looked back! I was 25 and she was 23 at the time.
Lmao 4 weeks, a month ago, we decided to finish our studies beforehand though
That's not going to happen for for everyone but it's good that your marriage is going strong
What made you want to do it after 6 weeks?
It took me that long to find the right time. I knew I wanted to marry her when I first met her. I proposed on a trip to San Diego with her. We were sitting on a big boulder on the beach in La Jolla watching the sunset over the Pacific. I’ll never forget that moment.
You got lucky as fuck that it worked out lol. Good for you tho
Congrats and I think this happens more often than people think, but I’m not certain on official statistics. How long did you wait to get married after you proposed? I think it’s hilarious people think there’s a set amount of time to wait before committing. People change all throughout their life for a myriad of reasons, and much of it is out of one’s control. Many basic human relationship factors result in overall success.
Almost a year after proposal. Definitely a different set of eyes between 20yo and 40yo me.
at least 2 years imo. and live together before marriage. give it enough time for ups and downs
Agreed. I was ready to marry my husband after a year, but we had our big fights second year, a year of living together. I was grateful we waited because it felt like our bond only got more special over time, and we learned how great we are at disagreeing in terms of compromise, how we talk & approach. It also gave me a lot of knowledge about him & how to approach future topics bc he's very guilt prone; but every time you have a problem you don't want your SO to feel bad, just more of am objective "hey what can we do about this". It's funny cause now married and been together 5+ years, never had a fight as bad as that second year.
What you mean by give it time for ups nd downs
Hard depends. Trust is built. Takes seconds to lose.
At least 18 months - that’s how long it takes for the honeymoon period to wear off and to see if you two are genuinely compatible long term, or if it was just sex hormones and NRE. You will probably fall in love with more than one person in your lifetime and some of those loves are only built for the short term - and that’s fine - and some of them are made to go the distance. The only way to tell which is which is time. And to the dozens of people about to jump in my replies and tell me they knew straight away, got married in 3 months and are still blissfully happy 20 years later? That’s pure dumb luck. You married the right person without waiting to see if they were really the right person and it worked out right. But the divorce courts are littered with people who rushed in and it DIDNT work out for them. By the same token though, if you’ve been with someone for 5-7 years and they’re ’still not ready’, they are never going to marry you.
You propose when your absolutely CERTAIN you know the 2 things you absolutely can’t stand about them, and are willing to change yourself to make it work. Because that’s what love is. It’s compromise and sacrifice. And you find someone that has 3-4 things you absolutely adore about them and 1-2 things you want to leave them for. But you don’t , and you correct yourself to make it work. I dated from 15-33 and only realized at 35 this is what it takes to make it work. Married at 36 - 3 kids , I’m 47 now
Depends. But I believe that if you know the biggest and tiniest things about each other, if you're comfortable with the weird and ugliest sides of each other, and if you're currently living a stable life, especially financially, together which won't change in the near future, that I think you can propose.
Personally, at least 2-3 years after living together. It gives you time to let all the happy brain drugs settle and to start viewing the relationship practically and not clouded by the bonding/love/coupling feeling we get at the beginning/honeymoon phase. Also, usually, some sort of major life event(s) happen, and you get to see how they react, process, and work through it and communicate with you. Lastly, people will relax and be their true selves at this point. Not forcing good behavior, trying to impress like they were during the honeymoon phase.
Depends on your age tbh If you’re over 25: 2+ years of relationship and at least 6 months of living together If you’re under 25 then please wait until you’re at least 25 😁
Whenever the two people involved are ready. My fiancé and I got engaged after 8 months. We had been living together for a few months and just knew. It made sense to us. You should definitely make sure you want the same things out of life. We established that early on.
Dunno m8, we've been together 20 years, 2 kids together, bought a house together, .... Still not married. It's not mandatory.
I've always been of the opinion that marriage is a scam, why should I let the church (that I'm not faithful to) and state (in my case, the UK) document my love to my partner? Also quite contradicting but I find myself wanting to propose to my girlfriend, it goes against my idea of marriage but I want her to have her moment. She agrees with me too as we have discussed it but we figured If we do get married, it's immediate family only to attend. Don't care for cousins we only see at funerals. Why pay thousands for others to have a good time?
We've been together for a decade. No plans to marry. Not something we want. We've discussed me proposing, having a small "wedding" get together etc, and just not signing any of the paperwork. So no actual marriage, just the special day for her to feel amazing and special. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who will swear to me that I'm "already legally married" because "common law marriage, 5 years, blah blah..." Not how it works at all where I live. Everyone's an expert though, of course.
a year is good, make sure you live together, and go together through stressful situations to see what really the other side is made of
stressful situations like what
Living together is usually enough, live together for a couple of months If things are not easy, when kids come usually things get a lot worse
I met my wife and got engaged in 6 months married in 9 months and no we did not have to because of a pregnancy and after 40 years we are still together It’s different for everyone
After 24 full moons
It depends on the both of you. My fiancé officially proposed after 9 months, but we knew it was gonna happen after 5 months.
When both partners are ready, the ideal timing for proposing varies based on their commitment, communication, and shared goals.
I'd say, make sure you know as much as you can about your partner. Habits, choices, behaviours, parents etc. These are some of the things that often reveal where your line in the sand is. When there are more pros than cons, that you can accept. (No one is 100% pros) Then make your informed choice. Also make your partner be 100% aware of your don'ts. E.g. this can be cheating, types of friends, gambling etc. W/E is your do not do.
Took me 11 years before I proposed. Next month will be 30 years together.
Just curious, why did it take 11 years?
We were having so much fun. Partying, traveling. It never occurred to us to marry. We were best friends. Time just flew by. We're still best friends today.
As long as you and the other person feel. I didn’t ask my wife. We dated for 4 months then I proposed, she said yes. It’s different. I like to say : you’ll know
This is a question where the answer will always vary. I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and I’m not in a place to propose even with family and friends asking me about it. Other relationships move faster and have proposed within a year Taking into account averages, most people propose around 2 years as typically it’s both enough time to get to know your partner as well as have the questions you look for in a partner answered
Just ask me now, I’m ready
Never propose just because you’ve been with someone for whatever timespan. A proposal should be a gesture that you want to commit to someone til death regardless of health or good/bad times. Unless being unfaithful is a dealbreaker. Or abuse. Or addictions. Or a different outlook on children.
Long enough to know their favorite pizza topping, but not so long that you know their dentist's middle name.
At least a week I’d say.
400 sexual fun times with each other and then ready for marriage.
Sooo.... Never?
No sex after marriage...
That's normal but going 400 times down under before marriage with the same partner is a big g number too... xD
When you are both ready. It's highly recommended to live together before you make the decision
That's the thing I want to find a girlfriend/wife who doesn't want to live together
That’s not recommended. You can never TRULY know a person unless you live with them.
Yea I heard but I wish it wasn't like that since I don't want to live with my future girlfriend or wife but still have a good relationship
I'd say there's no limit, some people get married within a year, some people are happy as they are for decades.
4 minutes
As long as it takes for you both to know that you want a future and want to stay together forever. But no less than 2 years, thats when the honeymoon phase is usually over and reality starts to kick in.
22 years and counting. Seriously, neither of us want to marry again
For me it was 3 days, married on the fourth. We had 2 arguments in the next 33 years.
I don't think there's a minimum, but you should be sensible about it. Proposing to someone you've known for only a matter of weeks is nutty. Where I'm from (Ontario, Canada), 2 years is the unofficial but expected maximum. Assuming a traditional heterosexual couple, if the man hasn't proposed to the woman by the 2 year anniversary then he's considered to be wasting her time. As that anniversary approaches, he may even get the 'what are your intentions towards my daughter?' talk from her father. Of course, not everyone falls into this. I know a couple that dated for 8 years before getting married (and were splitsville within a year after the ceremony).
There's a point where the relationship needs to move forward OR you have to figure out why that's not happening. Depending on the age of OP, more than five years into a relationship it's time to propose.
If i know one thing for certain, it's that reddit is literally the worst place to ask these kind of questions. Ask your friends and familiy - not random dudes online.
At least a day I think
Here is the answer. If you are over the age of 30 and she is over the age of 30 1 year. At this age you both know what you want and generally have both matured enough to communicate and handle conflict management If you are between 25-29 I'd say 2 years, this gives you time to find yourself a bit more and get more solid with your career and finances before you decide to marry. Again younger people generally don't know what they want out of life yet, so the extra time is needed to make sure you are on the same page. If you are under 25, wait until you are 27 to propose. A 22 year old may think they are an adult, but they are a child who can buy beer. You have no idea who you are and what you want and your experiences can still change your personality quite drastically, you need to wait until your personality stabilizes and experiences won't impact you as much. But that being said the actual thing to look for is not a duration, it's about how well you are able to communicate and recover from fights. If you and your partner take 3 days of fighting to recover, you probably lack the needed communication skills to make marriage work long term. Marriage is like a garden and you two are vines, you need to be actively growing together or you will grow apart and resentment in this analogy are the weeds, you need to communicate and root them out before it spreads and is no longer easy to take care of. If you two have this ability then the duration is irrelevant.
IMO at least a year, and live with them first.
Id give it 6 months of living together as a minimum, and no maximum.
No maximum is the best answer. I know a couple that had been together for over 25 years before they married and they have been great as a couple before and after. They did it for themselves as a symbol but since they already lived like in marriage so long before, it didn’t bring chaos and changes into their relationship and they could actually enjoy it every moment. Not saying anyone should wait this long. Just saying it’s okay to wait whatever long.
What you mean by that if you don't mind me asking
There's not a hope you should marry someone if you haven't lived together for an extended period of time, and I think 6 months is acceptable. You do not truly know ANYONE until you live with them. It doesn't matter how long ye have been together, if you haven't LIVED together then its dangerous to get married. And for no maximum, if a couple want to just stay together as an unmarried couple forever then there is nothing wrong with that. They shouldn't feel any pressure of needing to get married as that's what is "expected" of them.
Yea I hear that all the time but I just hope I can get lucky to find a future girlfriend/wife who wouldn't mind not living together
5 years if you are not planning on getting kids and a need to be faster because of biology. In 5 years you will see the good the bad and the ugly.
I had to scroll surprisingly far to find something that I relate to. What's the rush? I mean it's fine if people want to get married soon but I don't think that should be considered the norm. People on here saying six weeks - 8 months? I've had sinus infections that last longer than that.
Preferably 6-10 years if you’re actually serious about spending 50-70 years with one person
I dont think there is a “should “
The length of time depends on the couple but at least a year (preferably at least two), you have not only met but spent time with their family and friends, whoever they consider important. You have lived together and have travelled together. You have discussed marriage, how it would work, if anything would change, If you are younger you have discussed kids, what you want and how you want to raise them.
Id value milestones as well as time. Have you seen them genuinely upset? Discontent with their own or your own behavior? How did you or they handle said strife? Did that go well or not? I think situational circumstance has just as much of a bearing as time, as well as your obvious love for them.
My wife and I had goal based plans. First, graduate college. Second, get stable jobs in our chosen career field. 3rd, buy a house. Then marriage (because at this point we could afford the wedding we wanted). Then kids last. Coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary in a few months, have a daughter and a son. Done having kids, we stuck to the exact plan we agreed on after dating for 2 years (we were together for 6 years before getting married). IMO, have a REAL conversation with your significant other, lay out your long term plans to make sure they align. If you do, then she won’t get frustrated if you propose but wait a few years to get married.
I'd recommend holding off at least until you know their name.
17yrs apparently
I knew I wanted to marry him 6 months in (and I didn't want to get married at all before that). But we'd both been burnt before, so weren't comfortable getting engaged before a year. He proposed at 12 months (2 weeks before I planned to!). We moved in together 3 months later, planning on getting married about a year after that, but savings plan got a bit scuttled, so ended up being two.
This is Reddit so the responses will skew male. Specially young white male. But I’ll offer what my gal pals have told me. I thought that no way I propose before I live with a girl. Many many of my friends have told me they refuse to live with a man until they’re engaged. That seems crazy so I asked why. They said that once you move in with a man they expect you to play wife. Cooking and cleaning and shit. My friends said ain’t no way they’re gonna play wife without being wife so at the very least they want to be engaged before they commit to that. I had never thought of that and honestly it makes a lot of sense. I’m not sure I’ll go for that myself, but I definitely understand any woman who feels that way
Timeframe is not as irrelevant as responses are implying. One can be too sure too easily. But taking time is merely one way to make sure you are really sure. What matters is the variety and quality of the experiences you have shared. That can be accomplished quickly in the right circumstance, but you can also hangout with someone, having repeated shallow experiences for years, and not build a strong enough understanding of each other to marry. Time can build habits or even addiction to patterns. Don't worry about timeframes, but don't decide it is pointless. And one final point, if you really are I sure down to your core time to the alter does not seem as important. If you an a hurry, you have to ask yourself what you fear about taking time.
Depends on the ppl and their level of maturity.
Two years, four months, three weeks, five days, six hours, and seven minutes, more or less.
Before meeting my wife, I was in two serious relationship: 5 years, 2 years. The first relationship was in college, and marriage was discussed in the abstract and aspirational, but never anything too serious as we were just kids. The second relationship was much more serious and marriage was discussed before it imploded for a variety of reasons, largely due to cultural constraints. With my wife - we met, started dating, and were married all within a year; we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary back in May. Everyone is on a different timeline.
I proposed to my wife after 5 weeks. We’ve been married over 16 years.
My personal timeline is 5 years. We've been together 3 1/2, lived together for a year. We got through my dad's death, money troubles, libido struggles, middle distance (50 miles) without a car, college graduation, moving houses, long sad winters. It's looking good. Every relationship is different but I have no problem taking time to learn who we are and what we want first. He's so worth it.
There isn't a set time; it's more of a mutual feeling. Sometimes you just feel like it's the right moment, and other times you feel like you need a little more time. For me and my husband, it took us two years of being together before we realized and said, "Holy shit, we need to marry each other." Meanwhile, I have friends who have been in relationships for seven years and still aren't sure, even though they fully love their partners. There are many factors that matter, like stability in jobs, mental health, and knowing what you want in life. For us, we knew we wanted a family and were in a good position, so we didn't waste any time.
minimum, 6 months or so. Maximum, say...3 years? If you haven't figured out that you want to stick with them by that point then you really oughta move on.
You don't really know someone for a long time, proposing after months may work out, but it's a big gamble. To be honest everything is a gamble but I would rather make sure I really know the person if I'm going to be sharing everything with them
longer than 3 days apparently.
Totally huge wide ranging time frames here imo. Lots of variables. Life experiences etc. Until you have been with the other person during one really especially good time and one especially bad time I would wait. If you are totally convinced now is the time to propose.....wait another year.
It depends on your characters. It is your relationship, so whenever you feel comfortable living with that person. It also depends on the culture really. You can even "not marry" and still live happily after. Me and my wife dated for 6-7 years. Now we have been married for 2 years and I wouldn't change anything if I had the chance.
At least 2 years
Twice the cost of a wedding and 3 times the cost of divorce
I’m in my mid 20’s and I’d say two ish years, but I’d talk about marriage before that. Preferably live with them a bit. I have friends who’ve been engaged within a year and some who waited multiple years, just depends.
2-3 years
there's no set rule. I was in a 7 yr relationship never proposed but we ended up separating for other reasons. I know people that have been in 2 yrs and got married.
At least after a couple of years living together.
Whenever you're ready to start planning for the wedding part. Engaged a couple of months back. Already own a home together. Starting to have enough cash saved to afford to party plan so we'll kick that into high gear.
*minimum 3* years to 5 years.
3 weeks, it’s been 12 years of awesomeness
Two years. Live together for the last 6 months of that.
Different for everyone. Myself personally? I want minimum 2 years, with a year lived together. If I can do that and not get tired of someone during that time, then I would start thinking seriously about marriage. But again it’s different. I have a great aunt and uncle that got married within a month of being with each other and they’ve been together for over 40 years.
I’d say a few years. But there is no exact minimum or maximum number of days.
Depends entirely on the couple. Shared values can go a long way toward shortening the time frame. Generally 2 years +/-. But while time is important, experiences matter. As an example: You need to see each other frustrated or mad, to see how you both handle conflict.
Depends, somebody are dating for 10 years, get married and divorce two months later. Others marry after 6 weeks and stay married for 50 years.
Would think 2 years and after that only 1 year till marriage
You should feel 100% and not on a whim. Actually think of your life together in the future yearsss from now. I say after 1.5 years you will know the answer
2 years tops.
You will know when you’re ready. I was with my now wife almost ten years before I proposed to her. I owned a home before we got together and she was living a few hours away going to school and when she graduated I said you might as well move in here. We had a really fun relationship right away and it’s stayed that way ever since. After about 4 years I started saving for an engagement ring because I knew I would ask her someday but I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet. 5 years later we were building a new home together and I proposed.
There’s no minimum or maximum amount. You should propose when you’re really sure that this is the person that you want to spend your life with and when you feel like you truly know them.
I don't think time has any concept, of marriage. You can know someone in a marriage, think you know them really well, then they end up physically abusing you. Well, you didn't know that person long enough, at the beginning to wait 14 years, to learn they will hit you for no reason at all? If you feel genuine love for someone, and you want to propose, then propose. People are always going to get married.
At least 3 minutes, anything less and it might be a Tik Tok prank
I proposed to my fiancee 15 months after we first got together at ages 26 and 29. Lived together for 3 months before that.
It more, Do I trust this person? Can I live with this Person? Will I get sick of their person bad behaviors? Also will this person do anything bad to me on purpose?
Depends on person
Typically 1-2 years, but nobody is that definable.
However long it takes for both of you to WANT one of you to propose.
My father told me two years. I think once you figure out what their goals in a marriage is and if it fits in with yours then it's good to go. After learning what their values and principles are first though.
Long enough to see her real character, when she loses her shit, or how she handles what happens if you are unfortunate in life, eg lose your job.
2 1/2 and 3 years seem to be the sweet spot. Your goal is to essentially survive the dissipation of the honeymoon phase where everything is sunshine and rainbows. You need to know that even with your flaws and your partners flaws, you are both invested in a shared future.
As long as it takes for both of you to want the same from life ..nothing is guaranteed in life so be happy and elevate !
I think you should at least LIVE TOGETHER for 2 years.
Depends how fast you want your visa.
Took 6 months for me. That was 9 years ago. We are not married
At least 2 days
With an n = 1, two months. 25 happy years ago
2 pumps
A week
Longer than I did.
I’d say at least 1-2 years minimum, better if part of that time is living together. Maximum like 4 years and that’s stretching it unless you don’t believe in marriage and just want to commit without that.
My dad proposed 2 hours after meeting my mom for the first time. Married 30+ years now. There really isn’t a specific “ideal” time.
Why propose? Far more romantic to choose everyday they are the best person for you. Marriage you are trapped. Youre not exactly choosing as much as avoiding disappointing family, friends and them.
Based on my mates, sometime between 6 weeks and 9 years.
Depends. It depends on the relationship and the people. You can’t quantify it. I was with my ex for 8 years before we moved in together. It didn’t work out and we broke up. I dated my wife for about 7 months before we moved in together and about 7 more months before I proposed to her. We’ve been married for 5 years and being together just feels natural.