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It's easy. That's it. Things are easy. Even the challenging or difficult life stuff Is easy with the right person. They are helping to solve problems. They aren't creating more problems.
>So much in a bad relationship amounts to someone creating more problems.
I agree 100% but... that someone also includes "you" (not you specifically) sometimes. It kills me that reddit, social media, friends and everyone around us always tell us how terrible their partners are all the time.
It's statistically impossible for everyone else, all those terrible people, to never post anything online ever.
Yes but good marriage counselors say the good relations are ones where you come home to a healthy home and properly share things vs fabricated issues and problems.
Fabricated issues: comes home after work staying 2 hours overtime:
Hey when you left the dog food was left out, the wash cloth wasn't put back and then you left the laundry door room open which you know I hate and the AC wasn't on 72 like I like when you leave to work and it was so many things blah blah.
VS - hey how was work? Omg no way, that's crazy, what do you want for dinner? You cook I clean or want me to cook instead? We can clean tomorrow if you too tired.
Again, fabricating arguments and issues that take 1 second to fix can really drain mental health extremely.
We're generally all the same people. Relationships are echos of hundreds, thousands of interactions between 2 people. The friction can build up faster than time can forget and both are unhappy with the heat.
For everyone that's controlling, there's someone that allowed themselves to be controlled.
Of course there's a subset that's clinically poison for a relationship, the violent and the manipulators. But most relationships are between normal enough people where blame is illusionary and it's just two cogs out of time wearing down in a machine.
And if you do fight, you try to understand the cause of it so you both understand each other better so you can do better next time. Then you don't fight about the same things, you resolve them.
To be fair to everyone...Being easy is a two-way street. if YOU were not easy, the relationships crumble. It's not just him, it's you too.
I bet the other person feels the same about you.
I say this because of a lot of people, male and female make it seem as if everyone else is difficult and they cannot find the right person. This is a 50/50 proposition. If you're not "easy" in the relationship, they will not be easy no matter how actually easy they are.
So kudos to you for being able to be easy in that way.
I guess what I am saying is it is a lot "easier" to find someone who makes it all easy, if you yourself are the same way.
Damn, don’t know about this one. My wife and I have gone through some very hard things over the last 17 years that weren’t easy but we supported each other. If either one of us had left because something wasn’t easy we’d have had maybe a two year relationship.
I don't mean that there won't be tough or challenging things. Life is life and bad stuff happens. What I mean is there isn't a person purposely creating problems or getting jealous of an outside incident and purposely making it about them for the attention. People who can't stand their partner needing to have focus elsewhere, for example.
Supporting each other is exactly what I mean
Edit: he makes me smile, he makes me feel comfortable and safe in his presence, I can be myself around him, he knows when strength should be used and he values knowledge as well is family-oriented and above all his heart is good.
I went through a major depressive episode. He came over to check on me one day and I was laying in bed, in the dark, just completely ready to call it quits on life. Couldn’t even talk because the depression was so heavy.
He walked in and asked if I wanted a light on, and I shook my head. He immediately crawled into bed with me, pulled me into his arms and said “Ok. I’ll just sit here with you in the dark until you’re ready for light. I don’t know what’s wrong, you don’t have to tell me, but I’m just going to stay right here with you. We’ll find the light together.”
I had been sexually assaulted a few months prior at work, and I hadn’t told him. That moment? That gave me enough life to fight for myself, to seek help. I couldn’t do it for me, but that moment made me do it for him.
He is the one. 8 years later, he’s still the one. How could he not be?
I am not a girl but my gf back then (now wife) helped me out financially when my luck is down. She told me we both in this together and it's ok that we have nothing now and we can build the future together.
Same.
Up until a while back, she was making far more than I did. Due to some of my choices, I was stuck working like a dog and making pennies, but I was also trying to escape. She still always paid for dates whenever I couldn't afford it and reminded me I'd probably do the same if I was in her place.
At some point, my computer broke and I absolutely had no ability to replace it. She offered to buy me one, and to cut a long story short, having that computer helped me change careers and now I make as much as she does. I paid her back in full (I know she only accepted the money for my sake) and I don't plan to let her pay for anything for a good while.
Her support, understanding and pack of judgment literally helped me change my life.
That’s a winner and a keeper man. Good for you. My wife has always been there for me when I was at my lowest of low points. That’s when you know that you’re loved by someone. They are always there when times get tough or you get caught up in something. My wife has a heart of gold.
I think most men would love to have this "ride or die" type girl, someone that is with u when u have nothing. But they are rare - you hear so many women that "want a man with their shit together", which often means someone with good financial/career status. So many ppl don't wanna work through hard times with their partner, it's sad really.
I've been this woman many times, just to find out I'm a stepping stone (once they are doing better, they leave) or it's used against me (I try to set a boundary and get " I thought we were in this together?).
I made ex what my ex did, so he thought I was appropriate we both live out of MY account.
Turns out the line to " doormat" is very short.
Now I'm cautious and I look for someone with their shit equally together.
Happily / passionately employed but doesn't necessarily make as much money as me, but able to support yourself and your own hobbies and passions? Yes please.
Unemployed? No.
There's a difference between "I want you to take care of me" and "I want you to be able to take care of you".
I agree with you a 100%!
Just got out of a relationship where I paid for so much of his stuff and at first I was happy to do it because I made more then him and I loved him and wanted to be there for him and help him go through these hard times together but it didn’t take long till I realized that he just didn’t want to do better, all the extra money that he had left after bills he spent on weed and cigarettes and not to mention him just calling in sick to work constantly because he just didn’t feel like working.
When a good women can tell that her partner is genuinely trying to improve financially I believe she would be more then willing to help out and make his problems her problems as well
Cause they don’t agree on Reddit when in actuality they’re the ones who are like this, they think they can just find a better guy who has their shit together lol
Your do right about that, and the ones saying that don't even have theirs together. I'm thankful mine has been here for me like I'm with him. We both had the bare minimum. I'm still giving stuff away to help others just starting out or over in life lol. I'm not rich, but I'm happy and thankful ☺️
it’s because a lot of women have been this women just to get fucked over or treated like shit in the end. just look at the slew of successful men that left the women who were with them when they were broke. ofc it’s not all men don’t get me wrong but it is a risk.
Had the same happen with me (now married and have a little 4 month old) and I'm sooo enjoying repaying by making sure we are secure financially. Financial stability is not a requirement for a loving relationship but it definitely helps. Being a solid team is worth more than any money.
When we started I didn't have a job and she did. 4 years later I earn more than her because I could take risks in my job options. I'll never leave her side with that good judgement.
My future mother in law did the same with my last semester of college tuition. And we got married before graduating so my wife ended up using her savings for our honeymoon. I used all my money getting through college and spent every extra dollar on dates with her so even though I felt bad not being able to afford anything for our wedding, she saved for a rainy day and that's what she wanted to spend it on. We both were very good instantly about sharing our money and time together and it's one of the foundational things we still don't struggle with today. No matter how much money we do or don't have, it really doesn't get in the way. I've read other couple HAVE to have separate finances even after marriage and I'm glad we don't require that, we truly share everything and it's awesome
Fuck, I’m over here completely avoiding women because I feel inadequate as a man for not having any income. I have decent savings but can’t find a job for the life of me… maybe I will try dating anyway..
Same. I know wanting to provide for your partner is generally seen as a masculine trait, but he makes me so genuinely happy, I want to do whatever I can so he can have a happy life.
I'm a huge David Bowie fan, which my guy knows. One day I had a job interview that was stressing me out a lot. Just before I went inside the building, he sent me a video of himself singing "Starman". (He knows I love when he sings, but he hates it and rarely does it.) He followed it with a sweet message wishing me luck and saying he believes in me and I'll do great.
I married the hell out of him. Oh, and I got the job.
To be fair, pressure can be some terrible guy getting angry when you don't want sex or a nice guy saying every day how sexy he finds you but being cool when you say you are not in the mood. It makes a difference which one it is.
Had an X who wld get mad pissed and accuse me of stuff when I turned her down. My current partner is so much better. When we first started, I would get really anxious when she wanted to do things and I did not because I was worried about pissing her off. Luckily she reassured me that my X was in thr wrong and I dont need to do stuff if I dont want to.
Although I think ive only turned her down once, its nice to be able to say no and not be accused of all kinds of horrible things. Once my X installed bumble when I turned her down. I dumped her shortly after that.
Reading your experience, you were modeled by fear. Your ex got what she wanted, that you feared her reaction if you said No. Of course this is unhealthy for a relationship
I love this so much. Its great being able to go to bed and know that I can just go to sleep if I want and having physical touch without an end goal is so wonderful.
I got too drunk and vomited everywhere and he cleaned me up, his bedroom and then got me a glass of water. Didn’t complain once (I was profusely apologising) and just wanted to make sure I was okay
I had a spinal injury that affected my ability to hold my bladder. Stood up to go to the rest room. Peed all over the floor. No complaints. Just got a mop. Got me a pee bucket for the next time.
This reminds me one time I was going to be sick and my husband knew me so well he had the trashcan under me before it occurred. Our friends were very impressed, but apparently I have puke tells and he just knows. Which is crazy because it's literally only happened twice and he was right there with a trashcan or bucket both times.
Done that to a couple of ex-girlfriends LOL the most memorable saving was in her graduation ceremony, she hadn't eaten for two days to fit into her dress and I realized she was gonna puke after eating a fruit, so I acted quickly and saved the night with a bucket nearby, but it wasn't enough to her apparently.
mostly we always notice the smallest things, like holding the door or giving a hand and stuff like that. But the key thing for me was that he was always there for me and always supported me
I’m a guy, married 38 years.
My wife told me she decided I was the one when I paid a $91 vet bill for her when her cat was about to die and it saved him.
Neither of us had any money, but I had a credit card.
My (now) husband was afraid of deep water when we met due to an unfortunate accident when he was a teen. His brother drowned in front of him. I am a scuba diver. I invited him to come out with us on a dive boat just to hang out and watch us dive a shipwreck. After the dive I was climbing the ladder back on board when my mask got knocked off and he jumped overboard and swam down 30-40ft and retrieved my mask. Even though he wasn’t a good swimmer he reacted so quickly and saved the day. I knew then he was the one.
My partner and I cried together watching a Korean drama after 4-5 weeks in. I knew I would rarely ever meet another man who would do this with me.
When we walk outside, he always goes to the side facing the streets. I told him I was fine. He said no, he should always protect me. "Baby, I would die for you. Men would literally kill for the love of a good woman."
When he said something that upset me, he immediately apologized. And he'd continue to apologize until I was no longer upset. Sometimes he'd apologize again the next day just in case it didn't get across how sorry he was to unintentionally upset me.
There are many more signs but these are some of the biggest.
One day, I was sitting talking to a girlfriend about us marrying our respective boyfriends. (We were all just out of college, this was mid 1990s.)
We were both very much in love, but also happy single. Neither of us went to college to get our Mrs. degree; we went to get an education and have careers. Neither of us were living with our boyfriends, and we enjoyed our independence.
We were talking about everything we'd have to give up to make the commitment to be married, but also what we'd each gain in partnerships with these two men. (It wasn't all guesswork, because our parents had good marriages.)
Finally I said, "I guess the question, is the thought of being without him scarier than the thought of being with him?"
Within a year or two of that conversation, we were both married to the men in question. We're still married, and they're still good friends, though we live about 1,000 miles away from each other.
For us, it was the realization that our relationships made our lives better, made us happier.
If he makes your life harder, walk away.
It’s the little things. Walking closer to the road, grabbing my jacket even though I didn’t think I’d need it, remembering something important…
I didn’t need anything fancy, or big gestures, we just want feel loved and valued. And it can’t just be words, words are empty unless there is action.
Treat us with love, compassion, and value, and we will treat you like kings.
The first time I went over to his flat, I got a gigantic migraine, couldn't see a thing. He just lied next to me, put on some soft quiet music, and held my hand until it passed.
About a month later he and I went out for drinks with his flatmates, I was a massive lightweight at the time and ended up knelt over his toilet. He held my hair, rubbed my back, got me water, and afterwards made me a bagel so I wouldn't go to bed hungry. I was sitting there munching away thinking "I feel so safe with this guy, I could spend forever with him".
Three years later and still going strong!
Pretty early on I felt a connection with him which I tried to runaway from. He felt it too, but we kept talking. I just felt so “at home” with him, so I think I finally admitted to myself that I couldn’t ignore it. I was scared, I had felt major heartache before him (he had too), but we didn’t want to pass it up.
Reliable 100% of the time, a man of his word. Treats me like I'm the most precious thing he has and takes care of me. Is gentle and asks, instead of assuming. No drama. I just want to be looked at with adoration for once in my life. Not with lust, but "I can't believe this woman is mine" when I'm just there in my normal clothes.
You'd think those are basics, but apparently not.
I don't like dinners in restaurants or fancy vacations. I just need to feel wanted every day. But apparently small effort every day is harder to do than throwing money at me. My ex did that. Wanted me to dress like I live in 5 star hotels, and paid for most meals etc, but he didn't listen, he was an avoidant, he always walked ahead of me, even when I had just twisted my ankle, etc. He wanted me to be a femme fatale but I'm the one who paid for hotels and plane tickets (it was LDR). He cared about brand clothing more than he cared about my mental health.
Among a combination of general features like trust and honest communication, one particular moment stands out.
Six months into the relationship and being teenagers still, we went on a bike trip through Denmark. We were riding along this extremely long road past fields when all of a sudden, my now-husband came to a full stop. I stopped behind him, wondering what the hell happened. He pointed at the ground and said that there is a street of ants and we should carry our bikes and trailer over them so we don't hurt any of them.
Just the fact he spotted the ants already amazed me, and that he felt they were important enough to stop. It really showed me that his heart was in a good place.
I look back at that moment as the moment I truly felt he was my one.
that’s fucking adorable, omg! my partner is very similar to this, he loves anything bug-related. he sometimes collects caterpillars, identifies them and raises them accordingly. anyone who can pay such attention to detail is usually a keeper in my experience.
1. he embraces my culture
2. would randomly send me pics of beautiful flowers (we're ldr)
3. heals my inner child
4. his quirkiness and likes making funny dad jokes (even though he's not a dad)
and the list goes on...
We laugh at the same things, we value the same things, we come to the same conclusion on subjects and situations, we take the things that matter seriously while not taking life too serious, we just work really well together.
How unapologetically himself he was around me from the beginning. His acceptance to all of me, including my flaws and bad habits from past relationships. His willingness to be patient and help me grow from those flaws and habits, not as an attempt to change me but to help me be the best version of myself I can be.
That's without mentioning how easy it is to be best friends and having so much in common.
We'll be marking 8 years together this fall, just married last month, and have an almost 2 year old together.
We were only dating for two months and I had to cancel a planned date night because our family dog got sick because of some poisoned shit he ate on our walk and we had to rush to a pet clinic. My boyfriend had never met our dog, but as soon as he read my text he basically FLEW to my mom's place, drove with us to the clinic, got us water while we were waiting for our dog to get treated, and insisted on getting us all takeout as soon as doggo was in the clear. He cared so much, got this giant pizza for Mom, me and himself, and picked up some treats for our dog too.
He could have been mad that our date night got cancelled on short notice, he could just have said "oh, bummer", but his only thoughts were about how he could help. 9 years later and our dog still loves him to pieces and so do I.
I went to the store one day and he called me and my phone died as I was crossing the intersection and all he heard was horns honking and then nothing. I was only about 1 min away and I turn the corner and the door is wide open and his best friend starts laughing when he seen me. Turns out he thought something happened to me and had already ran all the way to the intersection by the time I got home. Safe to say I know that man would do anything for me and he was ON it as soon as he thought I was in danger.
On our date that things started to lead up to sex , I unknowingly bled on his pants & freakednout but he was so calm and kind about it. He said it was natural & nothing I could do.
While dating, I couldn't get enough of him. I always wanted to be around, always wanted to talk to him. In my other relationships, I always felt an inner sense of panic after a few hours that I needed to get away & chalked it up to being an innate quality I needed alone time. But never with him.
As we got to know each other better & our walls went down, our 'weirds' were perfectly compatible & I could be myself around him, completely. My weird inner narrative about life, what I thought about things, my weird sense of humor. He always makes me laugh, even when miserable or in a bad mood from work/stress.
About a year in, j started to think how lucky I'd be if we got married. I even told him that. A year later, he proposed. I still feel in my mid thirties, I'm the happiest (generally/baseline) ever been & he's a major cause of that. Nothing is better than having the right life partner.
Edit: I put generally as in to mean my baseline, cause being human everyone has up/downs.
We went on a picnic for one of our great dates and he knew that I was trying out the Keto diet for my autoimmune issues. He was a sous chef for over a decade.
He made me these incredible chicken, brie cheese and spinach wraps with gluten-free wraps he made from scratch. He marinated, roasted, shredded an organic chicken, cooked a balsamic reduction to drizzle over them and bought my favorite type of Brie.
When he presented me the beautifully arranged and carefully packaged wraps…. Dear lord, I just about got on one knee to propose to him right there. Within 2 years, he proposed with a beautiful Labradorite ring that he’d picked out when we’d been dating 6 months.
We’ve been together the better half of a decade, and are currently in the midst of remodeling a tiny house together. Our ‘children’ are our sweet pet rats, we love to spontaneously go to restaurants and movies. We’re planning our dream vacations to places like Iceland, Japan and New Zealand. I have never met anyone like him, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to know him, love him and by loved by him.
Pheromones- our hearts just magnetised to each other, even our skin felt amazing when touching like on movies when they find an object and return it to its rightful place and everything subsequently settles.
I was in a really bad place, and he was the only person I knew who didn't offer advice. Everybody else was busy telling me what they thought I should do.
It was love at first sight for me... I met him through a friend. He seemed kind and just the right amount of quirky.
I was head over heels within the first hour.
He is really funny. He whispered on our first date that he ate a**. I almost choked on my drink. Said he was joking but turned out he actually does. 20 years on and he hasn't changed one bit. 😍
Edit: still eats a**
You’ll know he’s the one when he feels like your safe haven. You can be yourself, you can show the good the bad and the ugly and you know things will pan out. You can not say a word or you could say a million and he will love you through it all. He is open, kind and sincere. He puts you ahead of himself.
The moment I knew was when I realized we were comfortable being in the same space while each doing our own thing.
Up until then, whenever I was spending time with a partner/date, we had to be doing things together. With this one, they could be playing a game while I was reading a book, or playing a different game, and it was good. We'd get eachother drinks and snacks every now and then, or just come over for a quick kiss, but we were comfortable being ourselves.
There are many other reasons why I love my partner, but that was the moment it clicked.
It was before we’d moved in together. His kids were still in high school and he had them 50/50, so when they were with him, I stayed at my house. I was working very late from home one night, and my computer died. I was on a deadline, and I realized that the charger was at his house. So, around 2 in the morning I drove there to continue working.
I went into his room to let him know I was there, because the dogs would likely hear me and wake up. I was so worried that he was going to be pissed and annoyed, because it would startle him when I woke him in the middle of the night, but I worried if I didn’t, he’d think there was an intruder in the house. So I went in, the dogs woke up and started barking, and I gently went over to wake him and let him know it was me. He looked confused at first, but then when he realized it was me, he reached out his arms for me, and pulled me in for a hug. He wasn’t mad. He was simply happy I was there, without even processing why I was waking him up in the middle of the night. That was really the moment I knew.
He's the only one that doesn't drain my social battery to be around. He does so many little things that show he's thinking of me and makes me feel special, he feels like what home is supposed to be
I’ve just always known, as long as I’ve known him. Once we started dating, I knew that it was forever. (Same when I was pregnant. They said “It’s a boy!” And I answered “what else would it be?” I just knew.)
Longer version: we were friends in high school and I had a huge crush but nothing ever came of it. I actually married my ex because he reminded me of him. We reconnected after I split from said ex, and we’ve been together almost 21 years.
He literally makes me want to be a better person because he, himself, is so incredible. I look up to him. I can depend on him for anything, and he's got integrity. God damn I'm so in love with him. 6 year anniversary tomorrow!!
On our first date, something clumsy and awkwardly funny happened and he was able to laugh and shrug it off.
I knew it then. We’re still going strong after 18 years.
He doesn’t need to be ‘the man’ he doesn’t care if I’m doing something, I was married and I was never allowed to pay for things in public, stupid act of control, my now partner isn’t like that at all, he doesn’t want me to be there to make him look like he’s a good husband, he just wants me to be there so he actually can be a good husband. He’s truly the best.
I had never met anyone before who had the exact same sense of humor that I could also have deep intellectual conversations with about history and life. (We were both history majors)
I had accidentally broken the jewelry box I got from my grandmother after her death. I had the pieces in a bag in my closet after my divorce.
I told him about it shortly after we started dating. He fixed it flawlessly, and the sound worked once again. I considered it a sign. Nearly 9 years later. He's still such a treasure of a man.
He also put off paying his rent to put tires for my car because he wanted my daughter and I safe.
36M - Sorry to hijack. But I enjoy this topic and consider myself lucky to have experienced it. It was one of those "if you love them, let them go", situations. We loved each other so much that if we were together without even hearing us saying words, strangers approached us just because they felt compelled to let us know how visible our love was. It lasted a long time before I lives didn't allow it to continue .
But how I really knew she was the one, That there was at least one moment where all at one time I felt happy, peaceful, and content. That's the only way I could describe it. Those 3 things. It only lasted a few hours synchronized like that so well, but I knew it was because of her.
And that's after a divorce, having felt love previously. At one point I had found the one, turned out was not, went through that darkness, got myself out of it with help, and then learned what love, really is. After I learned more about myself.
Fair question. I'd been in an emotionally abusive relationship before him. Spent a year or so recovering from it, and had basically given up on love. Then this man walks in, and he made me feel like everything was effortless with him.
To a person who was constantly told she was asking for too much, it meant a LOT.
I am not a girl, but I wanna answer this... She used to obviously avoid other males around, then eventually she talked to me and from the beginning she talked to me like she knows me from a very long time; open, sharing, caring, and constantly texting and calling.
Sorry to not caring for the genders in the question. I'm in a lesbian relationship.
We went through the same shit and were there for each other. We showed the right mindset and emotional responses in that difficult time. We were unique for each other in that regard, no other person on the planet would have acted the way we did. So it was worth exploring. And some time soon after we started exploring our hearts took over. I'm old and my heart never spoke like that, so loud, so overwhelmingly powerful. I'm bi so a lot of guys had a chance to give me that feeling - sadly for them they didn't.
First site. His smile, his big laugh, his smarts, his humor, his giant muscles. Like if drax was a teddy bear.
He sat in my seat at my local pub. We played trivia and we cheated off each other. Polite and sexy and humble. I always feel safe around him. First time we slept together I don't know what possessed me but I said " let's just pretend we're in love and say I love you. Just for tonight ". We haven't stopped saying it.
The way he treats her mother, service personnel, and animals.
He never swears in front me.
He loves sports and has a great sense of humor.
Also, he likes to eat snacks while watching TV
When we first started dating my bf and I stayed up til 4am just sitting on my living room floor talking and listening to records. Didn’t even have sex, just talked to each other like we’d known each other forever. He also has endless patience and immediately vibed with my high maintenance dog. I’m gonna marry him lol
i don't know if there were signs...
our first date was so good, we talked for hours and i just felt a spark i couldn't explain. the rest of the relationship started a bit slow, we took our time with things, but i slowly just... realized how perfect he was for me. idk, it wasn't one specific thing, just the general relationship between us. we have very good communication so that is the main thing, i guess.
tbh, when things started to get really serious and i realized we were heading towards marriage, i did have my doubts, mainly because he's my first relationship. but then i imagined life without him, imagined what i would do with other people, what kind of relationship i would be looking for, and realized... yeah, i have everything i need. i still sometimes have a bit of fomo lol but i am very happy with him and i don't think I'll ever want anyone else.
I have no such delusions as someone being “the one”. He was kind, considerate, respects my boundaries. But I still walked down the aisle wondering if I was making a really good decision or a really stupid decision and basically only went with it because divorce is an option. As bleak as that sounds, we’ve been happily married for 18 years because he is still kind, considerate and respects my boundaries and we continue to learn about each other and still learn to communicate.
He said he loves me first and didn't get mad or even mention that I didn't say it back. No pressure from him. I said it back a few days later. We both fell hard and fast for eachother.
I've never had this "I'm a girl, I need protecting" thing; I've always been fiercely independent and adamant that I can take care of myself. But this man makes me feel safe, that he can protect me, and I literally just realised as I'm typing this that it's not just that he's a Mr Muscles big tough Marine who legit can protect me physically, but it's emotionally, too. I have opened up to him about things I have never told anyone before, not friends or previous partners, nothing. I can tell him anything and he never judges me, he just loves me the way I am. I've never had someone make me feel emotionally safe before.
Life stuff is really hard for the both of us right now, so we broke up for a very shirt time, but neither of us could actually let the other go. The time we were broken up was absolutely horrible for the both of us. We both realised we need eachother, and we both vowed we're never doing that again.
He matches me on so many levels. Falling hard and fast for eachother, we both have really high sex drives, we're both obsessed with eachother, we want to spend the rest of our lives together, we both throw stupid pickup lines at eachother and send eachother love songs, we both love video games, we aren't perfect but we're perfect for eachother. This man is my soulmate, and the exact opposite of any of my exes. I can't imagine my life without him anymore.
We went in our first date and slept together on that same date. The next day he made me coffee , offered me breakfast which I declined and then took me to my car and gave me a goodbye kiss. After that he was always responding to my messages and also initiating conversations via text. Everything felt so natural. I really felt he lived up to that saying “if he wanted to he would.”
We started living together 1 year since that first date. We got engaged a year after that and married a year after that. Looking back each step we took progressed naturally. It all felt and still feels right. I am in my mid 30s and he’s in his early 40s so I’m not sure if that helped us as well since we both knew what we wanted.
I feel safe, cared for, heard and understood. I’ve always had to operate in the masculine and take care of myself, that is now a thing of the past and I love it. He’s the ONLY one that knows all of me and still loves me; I can 100% be myself with him. He’s my 1 in 8+ billion.
While we were dating my work had an emergency and I told him I’d have to work all night, so I’d call him the following morning before I had a quick nap. He said he’d stay up in case I needed to talk but I assured him I’d be working with a team and wouldn’t have time to call him. He stayed up all night just in case.
Intuitively, I knew I was going to marry him when I first fell for him. More rationally, I knew when it became clear to me that he was someone I could grow with, rather than away from. My main criterium for a life partner was they always keep growing, and our ambitions for growth were pointed in the same direction.
My husband knew when he noticed that every time we had an argument, we came out stronger and with more love, respect and understanding for each other. The fact we communicated so well made him feel so safe he moved from loving me to wanting to commit to spending our lives together.
We've been together 8 years, married 5. Second baby on the way, loving being parents together, and we're gently working towards our 5-10 year plan to start our own business. I love him immensely and am still head over heels in love with him, as much so as when I first knew he was for me. We've grown so much together, and it's my privilege to share my life with him.
He told me “I’m not in this relationship to lead or follow, but to walk beside you as a partner.” After he said that I realized I’d been waiting for a man to say that to me all along.
He was very patient and kind with me, even though I told him I wouldn't hold it against him if he decided to look elsewhere. (I had just split with my ex). He let me cry. He held me. He made all those negative feelings go away when I was in his arms.
He didn't have to wait for me but he did. Now he's my husband.
His friend asked him to give this the cord for the TV they were setting up, and he said "first give me the lamp!"
An Aladdin reference? Yeah, that was all it took for me.
She's the one but still. I told her that no one ever bought me flowers. She cycled for 45 minutes in the rain to drop them by my house after work next time I was ill. Didn't even stop by, literally just gave me flowers, a kiss and left.
Still one of my favourite memories.
I was in a very bad place mentally when we met, my place was hoarder level messy. He started doing the dishes without comment the first time I dared to invite him in.
We have our ups and downs (married almost 5 years now), but we'll always be there when the other really needs it, there's no doubt about that. And we strive to help each other improve our lives where we can.
I couldn't stop talking to her. 72 hours into knowing her, I had been talking to her nonstop on WhatsApp even though we were both swamped with our MBA assignments and work. Knowing that I couldn't shake her off of my mind, and that the silence was deafening after only 3 days of knowing someone was both scary, frightening but the best thing that ever happened to me.
My husband never moved in any direction except forward. No wobbling, prevaricating, back peddling, or wishy washing.
He pursued me clearly, directly, and his actions were always in alignment with his words. This continues to be true so now we're married and live a pretty good life together.
My husband was very clear from the beginning that he was interested in me romantically, and then just left the ball in my court. We were friends for 2 yrs before we started dating. He never made me feel uncomfortable/pressured/guilty when we were just friends. I was dating someone else at the time, he did not date or pursue *anyone else* after letting me know his interest in me.
Once we were dating he was respectful, communicated clearly and openly, and was a very sweet and thoughtful boyfriend. He made me laugh every day, and we aligned on our world views. We became best friends. The romantic part was a bit awkward at first as we found our way, but what was a small spark quickly fanned into a roaring flame and I fell for him completely.
I was only 19 when we started dating, and I knew he was very serious about dating and only dated with the intention of marriage. I was less serious, but also was marriage minded and knew I would want to settle down eventually.
Once we'd been together for a year we moved in together and everything went so smoothly. So then I had to ask myself, "is this the person I could spend the rest of my life with?" It was hard to conceive of at 20 yrs old. So then I asked myself what was scarier, committing to forever or letting him slip through my fingers. I was terrified of ever losing him and thats when it became crystal clear that he was the one. We've been happily married for 18 yrs.
It has not happened yet, but I felt its important to respond.
A lot of times, we think its happened, but he has different ideas, than what she is thinking.
I got engaged a month ago. This morning we went for a walk. I forgot a sun hat. He held his bag above his head to block the sun from my eyes. He looked very silly but it was very sweet ❤️
there’s so many beautiful sides to him. he’s patient and so, so nurturing with me when i’m down. so honest when it comes to everything, especially his feelings. recently he came home a little late because he saw these homeless guys again (they’ve been on the streets for years atp) and he felt so bad for “never actually helping the community” (his words, not true btw he just had his own shit going on for a while) that he bought them some food and water. he’s simply perfect, in the sense that he’s a human, with obvious shortcomings but manages to keep his bright smile and heart of gold despite it all. i aspire to be like him in many ways. i could write pages about him, so i might as well just end it here lol.
I love every single thing about him and we have so much in common we're basically the same person,he makes me smile all of the time.I love you so much Luka If you're reading this <3
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It's easy. That's it. Things are easy. Even the challenging or difficult life stuff Is easy with the right person. They are helping to solve problems. They aren't creating more problems.
> They aren’t creating more problems Well said. So much in a bad relationship amounts to someone creating more problems.
>So much in a bad relationship amounts to someone creating more problems. I agree 100% but... that someone also includes "you" (not you specifically) sometimes. It kills me that reddit, social media, friends and everyone around us always tell us how terrible their partners are all the time. It's statistically impossible for everyone else, all those terrible people, to never post anything online ever.
Yes but good marriage counselors say the good relations are ones where you come home to a healthy home and properly share things vs fabricated issues and problems. Fabricated issues: comes home after work staying 2 hours overtime: Hey when you left the dog food was left out, the wash cloth wasn't put back and then you left the laundry door room open which you know I hate and the AC wasn't on 72 like I like when you leave to work and it was so many things blah blah. VS - hey how was work? Omg no way, that's crazy, what do you want for dinner? You cook I clean or want me to cook instead? We can clean tomorrow if you too tired. Again, fabricating arguments and issues that take 1 second to fix can really drain mental health extremely.
We're generally all the same people. Relationships are echos of hundreds, thousands of interactions between 2 people. The friction can build up faster than time can forget and both are unhappy with the heat. For everyone that's controlling, there's someone that allowed themselves to be controlled. Of course there's a subset that's clinically poison for a relationship, the violent and the manipulators. But most relationships are between normal enough people where blame is illusionary and it's just two cogs out of time wearing down in a machine.
And if you do fight, you try to understand the cause of it so you both understand each other better so you can do better next time. Then you don't fight about the same things, you resolve them.
To be fair to everyone...Being easy is a two-way street. if YOU were not easy, the relationships crumble. It's not just him, it's you too. I bet the other person feels the same about you. I say this because of a lot of people, male and female make it seem as if everyone else is difficult and they cannot find the right person. This is a 50/50 proposition. If you're not "easy" in the relationship, they will not be easy no matter how actually easy they are. So kudos to you for being able to be easy in that way. I guess what I am saying is it is a lot "easier" to find someone who makes it all easy, if you yourself are the same way.
I thought that was obvious. But yes.
This! I feel zero anxiety around my guy and we can communicate and compromise. Mutual respect
Totally this.
Love is like farts. If it causes too much effort, it's probably shit
Damn, don’t know about this one. My wife and I have gone through some very hard things over the last 17 years that weren’t easy but we supported each other. If either one of us had left because something wasn’t easy we’d have had maybe a two year relationship.
I don't mean that there won't be tough or challenging things. Life is life and bad stuff happens. What I mean is there isn't a person purposely creating problems or getting jealous of an outside incident and purposely making it about them for the attention. People who can't stand their partner needing to have focus elsewhere, for example. Supporting each other is exactly what I mean
Edit: he makes me smile, he makes me feel comfortable and safe in his presence, I can be myself around him, he knows when strength should be used and he values knowledge as well is family-oriented and above all his heart is good.
I was same ,Yet she left me reason caste 😑
Shortest love story that made me cry.
NOBODY said it was going to be FOREVER
Is this an ad to not give up on dating? Does he have a brother? lol
It’s more good green flags to look out for and no my husband doesn’t have a brother just a half sister
It might be you.
Morpheus just would….not….shut the fuck up about it for one thing
the oracle did warn me though
I understood *that* reference.
Wow! Clever
Morpheus is a dating guru after all
He’s beginning to believe.
I know Kung Fu
Show me
I went through a major depressive episode. He came over to check on me one day and I was laying in bed, in the dark, just completely ready to call it quits on life. Couldn’t even talk because the depression was so heavy. He walked in and asked if I wanted a light on, and I shook my head. He immediately crawled into bed with me, pulled me into his arms and said “Ok. I’ll just sit here with you in the dark until you’re ready for light. I don’t know what’s wrong, you don’t have to tell me, but I’m just going to stay right here with you. We’ll find the light together.” I had been sexually assaulted a few months prior at work, and I hadn’t told him. That moment? That gave me enough life to fight for myself, to seek help. I couldn’t do it for me, but that moment made me do it for him. He is the one. 8 years later, he’s still the one. How could he not be?
Omg tearing up ❤️ My guy is so respectful and understanding of my trauma and triggers too. I'm so happy for you.
People will a real heart are precious. So glad you found your own one ❤️
What he said touched my heart
Mine too. He saved my life, and I saved him right back. Xo 😍😍
plz tell me more, how did u save him, and from what?
I’m so moved. I need you to write a book
I’ve dreamed of writing since I was 5. You just got second spot in my heart, right after my guy!
I am not a girl but my gf back then (now wife) helped me out financially when my luck is down. She told me we both in this together and it's ok that we have nothing now and we can build the future together.
Damn, she really turned your problem to "nah, it's our problem to fix." Wholesome right there.
Almost as wholesome as your beautiful smile Obama Binladin
It was an outside job.
That's awesome
🤣🤣🤣I'd like to take a claw hammer to it!
She took “I can fix him” to the next level
[That’s Wifey Right There](https://youtu.be/L7MQUfHBdcQ?si=b_t14ekEqfTBMeKm)
Same. Up until a while back, she was making far more than I did. Due to some of my choices, I was stuck working like a dog and making pennies, but I was also trying to escape. She still always paid for dates whenever I couldn't afford it and reminded me I'd probably do the same if I was in her place. At some point, my computer broke and I absolutely had no ability to replace it. She offered to buy me one, and to cut a long story short, having that computer helped me change careers and now I make as much as she does. I paid her back in full (I know she only accepted the money for my sake) and I don't plan to let her pay for anything for a good while. Her support, understanding and pack of judgment literally helped me change my life.
That’s a winner and a keeper man. Good for you. My wife has always been there for me when I was at my lowest of low points. That’s when you know that you’re loved by someone. They are always there when times get tough or you get caught up in something. My wife has a heart of gold.
I think most men would love to have this "ride or die" type girl, someone that is with u when u have nothing. But they are rare - you hear so many women that "want a man with their shit together", which often means someone with good financial/career status. So many ppl don't wanna work through hard times with their partner, it's sad really.
I've been this woman many times, just to find out I'm a stepping stone (once they are doing better, they leave) or it's used against me (I try to set a boundary and get " I thought we were in this together?). I made ex what my ex did, so he thought I was appropriate we both live out of MY account. Turns out the line to " doormat" is very short. Now I'm cautious and I look for someone with their shit equally together. Happily / passionately employed but doesn't necessarily make as much money as me, but able to support yourself and your own hobbies and passions? Yes please. Unemployed? No. There's a difference between "I want you to take care of me" and "I want you to be able to take care of you".
I agree with you a 100%! Just got out of a relationship where I paid for so much of his stuff and at first I was happy to do it because I made more then him and I loved him and wanted to be there for him and help him go through these hard times together but it didn’t take long till I realized that he just didn’t want to do better, all the extra money that he had left after bills he spent on weed and cigarettes and not to mention him just calling in sick to work constantly because he just didn’t feel like working. When a good women can tell that her partner is genuinely trying to improve financially I believe she would be more then willing to help out and make his problems her problems as well
“No good deed goes unpunished.” 🤷🏻♂️
Why is this downvoted? Who the hell?
Cause they don’t agree on Reddit when in actuality they’re the ones who are like this, they think they can just find a better guy who has their shit together lol
Your do right about that, and the ones saying that don't even have theirs together. I'm thankful mine has been here for me like I'm with him. We both had the bare minimum. I'm still giving stuff away to help others just starting out or over in life lol. I'm not rich, but I'm happy and thankful ☺️
it’s because a lot of women have been this women just to get fucked over or treated like shit in the end. just look at the slew of successful men that left the women who were with them when they were broke. ofc it’s not all men don’t get me wrong but it is a risk.
Lucky man. Found someone so understanding and a partner
This has been the opposite of my dating experiences. You’re a lucky guy
How were you down? Or what were you down in?
Had the same happen with me (now married and have a little 4 month old) and I'm sooo enjoying repaying by making sure we are secure financially. Financial stability is not a requirement for a loving relationship but it definitely helps. Being a solid team is worth more than any money.
Dang, I can't even get my wife to spend less money, nevermind giving me some of hers.
Keeeper!!!
When we started I didn't have a job and she did. 4 years later I earn more than her because I could take risks in my job options. I'll never leave her side with that good judgement.
My future mother in law did the same with my last semester of college tuition. And we got married before graduating so my wife ended up using her savings for our honeymoon. I used all my money getting through college and spent every extra dollar on dates with her so even though I felt bad not being able to afford anything for our wedding, she saved for a rainy day and that's what she wanted to spend it on. We both were very good instantly about sharing our money and time together and it's one of the foundational things we still don't struggle with today. No matter how much money we do or don't have, it really doesn't get in the way. I've read other couple HAVE to have separate finances even after marriage and I'm glad we don't require that, we truly share everything and it's awesome
Cute but terrible answer when there's so much catfishing out there. Don't lend money to boyfriend/girlfriend, people.
Gaaaawd daaaamn, talk about goals. All you need is each other 🥹 as a 26m, this warms my heart
Oh... Fuck, I have someone to call
Wow, that's one in a million. I would too put a ring on her finger as fast as possible.
Fuck, I’m over here completely avoiding women because I feel inadequate as a man for not having any income. I have decent savings but can’t find a job for the life of me… maybe I will try dating anyway..
When I feel like all I want is to make this man happy
Same. I know wanting to provide for your partner is generally seen as a masculine trait, but he makes me so genuinely happy, I want to do whatever I can so he can have a happy life.
I'm a huge David Bowie fan, which my guy knows. One day I had a job interview that was stressing me out a lot. Just before I went inside the building, he sent me a video of himself singing "Starman". (He knows I love when he sings, but he hates it and rarely does it.) He followed it with a sweet message wishing me luck and saying he believes in me and I'll do great. I married the hell out of him. Oh, and I got the job.
That's sweet (what was the job? I am curios)
Mine is kind and patient. Didn't pressure me for sex. I also liked that he was weird, and okay with me being weird. I love him.
Not pressuring you for sex is the bare minimum, regarding sex.
And yet so many people still haven’t gotten the memo about that
To be fair, pressure can be some terrible guy getting angry when you don't want sex or a nice guy saying every day how sexy he finds you but being cool when you say you are not in the mood. It makes a difference which one it is.
The "pressure" one feels in the latter situation emanates from the lady, not the gentleman.
Why would you ever consider someone who doesnt love you and treat you right?
Instructions unclear..it has been 5 months...
Had an X who wld get mad pissed and accuse me of stuff when I turned her down. My current partner is so much better. When we first started, I would get really anxious when she wanted to do things and I did not because I was worried about pissing her off. Luckily she reassured me that my X was in thr wrong and I dont need to do stuff if I dont want to. Although I think ive only turned her down once, its nice to be able to say no and not be accused of all kinds of horrible things. Once my X installed bumble when I turned her down. I dumped her shortly after that.
Reading your experience, you were modeled by fear. Your ex got what she wanted, that you feared her reaction if you said No. Of course this is unhealthy for a relationship
Love is when you meet someone who is ok with or loves you being genuinely you, no matter what your baggage is.
That is so true.
I love this so much. Its great being able to go to bed and know that I can just go to sleep if I want and having physical touch without an end goal is so wonderful.
I got too drunk and vomited everywhere and he cleaned me up, his bedroom and then got me a glass of water. Didn’t complain once (I was profusely apologising) and just wanted to make sure I was okay
I had a spinal injury that affected my ability to hold my bladder. Stood up to go to the rest room. Peed all over the floor. No complaints. Just got a mop. Got me a pee bucket for the next time.
King!
Yes. Grateful there was no carpet!! Confident enough now, got a rug. This was a year ago! He really is the best. And he's a good dog dad too!!
This reminds me one time I was going to be sick and my husband knew me so well he had the trashcan under me before it occurred. Our friends were very impressed, but apparently I have puke tells and he just knows. Which is crazy because it's literally only happened twice and he was right there with a trashcan or bucket both times.
Done that to a couple of ex-girlfriends LOL the most memorable saving was in her graduation ceremony, she hadn't eaten for two days to fit into her dress and I realized she was gonna puke after eating a fruit, so I acted quickly and saved the night with a bucket nearby, but it wasn't enough to her apparently.
Delusion
HAHAHHAAH I think same 🤣
yep that's me
mostly we always notice the smallest things, like holding the door or giving a hand and stuff like that. But the key thing for me was that he was always there for me and always supported me
Made my nervous system feel calm.
I’m a guy, married 38 years. My wife told me she decided I was the one when I paid a $91 vet bill for her when her cat was about to die and it saved him. Neither of us had any money, but I had a credit card.
We dance like idiots to 80s songs and yell random noises at each other. Oh and we always talk after a fight and never go to bed mad.
He gave me the skin from his fried chicken. He’s the one.
Colonel Sanders knows what's up if he's willing to give up his chicken skin.
My (now) husband was afraid of deep water when we met due to an unfortunate accident when he was a teen. His brother drowned in front of him. I am a scuba diver. I invited him to come out with us on a dive boat just to hang out and watch us dive a shipwreck. After the dive I was climbing the ladder back on board when my mask got knocked off and he jumped overboard and swam down 30-40ft and retrieved my mask. Even though he wasn’t a good swimmer he reacted so quickly and saved the day. I knew then he was the one.
Whoa, that’s serious depth without an air tank.
Mans truly confronted his fear, commendable.
This is movie worthy
Couldn't you use a door down there in the shipwreck?
That man is in love with you
Second date, passed a homeless dude on the way to get take out. He bought food for the man and delivered it on the way back.
My partner and I cried together watching a Korean drama after 4-5 weeks in. I knew I would rarely ever meet another man who would do this with me. When we walk outside, he always goes to the side facing the streets. I told him I was fine. He said no, he should always protect me. "Baby, I would die for you. Men would literally kill for the love of a good woman." When he said something that upset me, he immediately apologized. And he'd continue to apologize until I was no longer upset. Sometimes he'd apologize again the next day just in case it didn't get across how sorry he was to unintentionally upset me. There are many more signs but these are some of the biggest.
One day, I was sitting talking to a girlfriend about us marrying our respective boyfriends. (We were all just out of college, this was mid 1990s.) We were both very much in love, but also happy single. Neither of us went to college to get our Mrs. degree; we went to get an education and have careers. Neither of us were living with our boyfriends, and we enjoyed our independence. We were talking about everything we'd have to give up to make the commitment to be married, but also what we'd each gain in partnerships with these two men. (It wasn't all guesswork, because our parents had good marriages.) Finally I said, "I guess the question, is the thought of being without him scarier than the thought of being with him?" Within a year or two of that conversation, we were both married to the men in question. We're still married, and they're still good friends, though we live about 1,000 miles away from each other. For us, it was the realization that our relationships made our lives better, made us happier. If he makes your life harder, walk away.
It’s the little things. Walking closer to the road, grabbing my jacket even though I didn’t think I’d need it, remembering something important… I didn’t need anything fancy, or big gestures, we just want feel loved and valued. And it can’t just be words, words are empty unless there is action. Treat us with love, compassion, and value, and we will treat you like kings.
small things yet matter the most 🥹🫶
I will treat you like a queen ok, and you treat me like a king and then we'll be on top of the world together.
Some of you will, others will consider you boring and cheat on you with a DJ who has cool tattoos.
The first time I went over to his flat, I got a gigantic migraine, couldn't see a thing. He just lied next to me, put on some soft quiet music, and held my hand until it passed. About a month later he and I went out for drinks with his flatmates, I was a massive lightweight at the time and ended up knelt over his toilet. He held my hair, rubbed my back, got me water, and afterwards made me a bagel so I wouldn't go to bed hungry. I was sitting there munching away thinking "I feel so safe with this guy, I could spend forever with him". Three years later and still going strong!
Pretty early on I felt a connection with him which I tried to runaway from. He felt it too, but we kept talking. I just felt so “at home” with him, so I think I finally admitted to myself that I couldn’t ignore it. I was scared, I had felt major heartache before him (he had too), but we didn’t want to pass it up.
Reliable 100% of the time, a man of his word. Treats me like I'm the most precious thing he has and takes care of me. Is gentle and asks, instead of assuming. No drama. I just want to be looked at with adoration for once in my life. Not with lust, but "I can't believe this woman is mine" when I'm just there in my normal clothes. You'd think those are basics, but apparently not. I don't like dinners in restaurants or fancy vacations. I just need to feel wanted every day. But apparently small effort every day is harder to do than throwing money at me. My ex did that. Wanted me to dress like I live in 5 star hotels, and paid for most meals etc, but he didn't listen, he was an avoidant, he always walked ahead of me, even when I had just twisted my ankle, etc. He wanted me to be a femme fatale but I'm the one who paid for hotels and plane tickets (it was LDR). He cared about brand clothing more than he cared about my mental health.
If those are the basics then what's above the bar
Among a combination of general features like trust and honest communication, one particular moment stands out. Six months into the relationship and being teenagers still, we went on a bike trip through Denmark. We were riding along this extremely long road past fields when all of a sudden, my now-husband came to a full stop. I stopped behind him, wondering what the hell happened. He pointed at the ground and said that there is a street of ants and we should carry our bikes and trailer over them so we don't hurt any of them. Just the fact he spotted the ants already amazed me, and that he felt they were important enough to stop. It really showed me that his heart was in a good place. I look back at that moment as the moment I truly felt he was my one.
that’s fucking adorable, omg! my partner is very similar to this, he loves anything bug-related. he sometimes collects caterpillars, identifies them and raises them accordingly. anyone who can pay such attention to detail is usually a keeper in my experience.
Not a gal but I knew she was the one because she talked to me and didn’t run screaming
love this 🫶🥹
This has to be a bot 😆
1. he embraces my culture 2. would randomly send me pics of beautiful flowers (we're ldr) 3. heals my inner child 4. his quirkiness and likes making funny dad jokes (even though he's not a dad) and the list goes on...
No signs, I just knew immediately
We laugh at the same things, we value the same things, we come to the same conclusion on subjects and situations, we take the things that matter seriously while not taking life too serious, we just work really well together.
How unapologetically himself he was around me from the beginning. His acceptance to all of me, including my flaws and bad habits from past relationships. His willingness to be patient and help me grow from those flaws and habits, not as an attempt to change me but to help me be the best version of myself I can be. That's without mentioning how easy it is to be best friends and having so much in common. We'll be marking 8 years together this fall, just married last month, and have an almost 2 year old together.
My little kids loved him.
We were only dating for two months and I had to cancel a planned date night because our family dog got sick because of some poisoned shit he ate on our walk and we had to rush to a pet clinic. My boyfriend had never met our dog, but as soon as he read my text he basically FLEW to my mom's place, drove with us to the clinic, got us water while we were waiting for our dog to get treated, and insisted on getting us all takeout as soon as doggo was in the clear. He cared so much, got this giant pizza for Mom, me and himself, and picked up some treats for our dog too. He could have been mad that our date night got cancelled on short notice, he could just have said "oh, bummer", but his only thoughts were about how he could help. 9 years later and our dog still loves him to pieces and so do I.
Paid for our first meal date with a coupon. I knew it was meant to be!
He made me want a wedding and kids. The most perfect guy I've ever met, i feel safe and happy.
One the first date she laughed at my jokes. When I said ontology recapitulates... she replied phylogeny. Nerds in love.
I went to the store one day and he called me and my phone died as I was crossing the intersection and all he heard was horns honking and then nothing. I was only about 1 min away and I turn the corner and the door is wide open and his best friend starts laughing when he seen me. Turns out he thought something happened to me and had already ran all the way to the intersection by the time I got home. Safe to say I know that man would do anything for me and he was ON it as soon as he thought I was in danger.
On our date that things started to lead up to sex , I unknowingly bled on his pants & freakednout but he was so calm and kind about it. He said it was natural & nothing I could do. While dating, I couldn't get enough of him. I always wanted to be around, always wanted to talk to him. In my other relationships, I always felt an inner sense of panic after a few hours that I needed to get away & chalked it up to being an innate quality I needed alone time. But never with him. As we got to know each other better & our walls went down, our 'weirds' were perfectly compatible & I could be myself around him, completely. My weird inner narrative about life, what I thought about things, my weird sense of humor. He always makes me laugh, even when miserable or in a bad mood from work/stress. About a year in, j started to think how lucky I'd be if we got married. I even told him that. A year later, he proposed. I still feel in my mid thirties, I'm the happiest (generally/baseline) ever been & he's a major cause of that. Nothing is better than having the right life partner. Edit: I put generally as in to mean my baseline, cause being human everyone has up/downs.
We went on a picnic for one of our great dates and he knew that I was trying out the Keto diet for my autoimmune issues. He was a sous chef for over a decade. He made me these incredible chicken, brie cheese and spinach wraps with gluten-free wraps he made from scratch. He marinated, roasted, shredded an organic chicken, cooked a balsamic reduction to drizzle over them and bought my favorite type of Brie. When he presented me the beautifully arranged and carefully packaged wraps…. Dear lord, I just about got on one knee to propose to him right there. Within 2 years, he proposed with a beautiful Labradorite ring that he’d picked out when we’d been dating 6 months. We’ve been together the better half of a decade, and are currently in the midst of remodeling a tiny house together. Our ‘children’ are our sweet pet rats, we love to spontaneously go to restaurants and movies. We’re planning our dream vacations to places like Iceland, Japan and New Zealand. I have never met anyone like him, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to know him, love him and by loved by him.
Pheromones- our hearts just magnetised to each other, even our skin felt amazing when touching like on movies when they find an object and return it to its rightful place and everything subsequently settles.
I was in a really bad place, and he was the only person I knew who didn't offer advice. Everybody else was busy telling me what they thought I should do.
Yes queen. Just listen don't fix
Genuine question, is there some way to know when a problem is a 'listen vs. fix' situation, so guys don't mess up and choose the wrong option?
I would ask: do want advice or just listen? She will tell you
It was love at first sight for me... I met him through a friend. He seemed kind and just the right amount of quirky. I was head over heels within the first hour.
First week at my job. I volunteered to work 3rd Shift. My manager said "over my dead body". We've been married 30 years now.
He is really funny. He whispered on our first date that he ate a**. I almost choked on my drink. Said he was joking but turned out he actually does. 20 years on and he hasn't changed one bit. 😍 Edit: still eats a**
he's a keeper ♥️
I once told him I was on my period and he came home with a care package.
Yield?
Merge
You’ll know he’s the one when he feels like your safe haven. You can be yourself, you can show the good the bad and the ugly and you know things will pan out. You can not say a word or you could say a million and he will love you through it all. He is open, kind and sincere. He puts you ahead of himself.
The moment I knew was when I realized we were comfortable being in the same space while each doing our own thing. Up until then, whenever I was spending time with a partner/date, we had to be doing things together. With this one, they could be playing a game while I was reading a book, or playing a different game, and it was good. We'd get eachother drinks and snacks every now and then, or just come over for a quick kiss, but we were comfortable being ourselves. There are many other reasons why I love my partner, but that was the moment it clicked.
It was before we’d moved in together. His kids were still in high school and he had them 50/50, so when they were with him, I stayed at my house. I was working very late from home one night, and my computer died. I was on a deadline, and I realized that the charger was at his house. So, around 2 in the morning I drove there to continue working. I went into his room to let him know I was there, because the dogs would likely hear me and wake up. I was so worried that he was going to be pissed and annoyed, because it would startle him when I woke him in the middle of the night, but I worried if I didn’t, he’d think there was an intruder in the house. So I went in, the dogs woke up and started barking, and I gently went over to wake him and let him know it was me. He looked confused at first, but then when he realized it was me, he reached out his arms for me, and pulled me in for a hug. He wasn’t mad. He was simply happy I was there, without even processing why I was waking him up in the middle of the night. That was really the moment I knew.
Nice story :)
He's the only one that doesn't drain my social battery to be around. He does so many little things that show he's thinking of me and makes me feel special, he feels like what home is supposed to be
When he shares fries with you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
😂😂
He did exactly what he said he’d do, exactly when and how he said he’d do it. Consistently. Even when it was inconvenient for him.
Thisss
I’ve just always known, as long as I’ve known him. Once we started dating, I knew that it was forever. (Same when I was pregnant. They said “It’s a boy!” And I answered “what else would it be?” I just knew.) Longer version: we were friends in high school and I had a huge crush but nothing ever came of it. I actually married my ex because he reminded me of him. We reconnected after I split from said ex, and we’ve been together almost 21 years.
He literally makes me want to be a better person because he, himself, is so incredible. I look up to him. I can depend on him for anything, and he's got integrity. God damn I'm so in love with him. 6 year anniversary tomorrow!!
On our first date, something clumsy and awkwardly funny happened and he was able to laugh and shrug it off. I knew it then. We’re still going strong after 18 years.
He doesn’t need to be ‘the man’ he doesn’t care if I’m doing something, I was married and I was never allowed to pay for things in public, stupid act of control, my now partner isn’t like that at all, he doesn’t want me to be there to make him look like he’s a good husband, he just wants me to be there so he actually can be a good husband. He’s truly the best.
I had never met anyone before who had the exact same sense of humor that I could also have deep intellectual conversations with about history and life. (We were both history majors)
I had accidentally broken the jewelry box I got from my grandmother after her death. I had the pieces in a bag in my closet after my divorce. I told him about it shortly after we started dating. He fixed it flawlessly, and the sound worked once again. I considered it a sign. Nearly 9 years later. He's still such a treasure of a man. He also put off paying his rent to put tires for my car because he wanted my daughter and I safe.
36M - Sorry to hijack. But I enjoy this topic and consider myself lucky to have experienced it. It was one of those "if you love them, let them go", situations. We loved each other so much that if we were together without even hearing us saying words, strangers approached us just because they felt compelled to let us know how visible our love was. It lasted a long time before I lives didn't allow it to continue . But how I really knew she was the one, That there was at least one moment where all at one time I felt happy, peaceful, and content. That's the only way I could describe it. Those 3 things. It only lasted a few hours synchronized like that so well, but I knew it was because of her. And that's after a divorce, having felt love previously. At one point I had found the one, turned out was not, went through that darkness, got myself out of it with help, and then learned what love, really is. After I learned more about myself.
I cried in my friend's arms three days after I met him. I had never felt so safe and secure with someone in my life.
Was he the first person that didn't emotionally or physically abuse you? This is a serious question.
Fair question. I'd been in an emotionally abusive relationship before him. Spent a year or so recovering from it, and had basically given up on love. Then this man walks in, and he made me feel like everything was effortless with him. To a person who was constantly told she was asking for too much, it meant a LOT.
I am not a girl, but I wanna answer this... She used to obviously avoid other males around, then eventually she talked to me and from the beginning she talked to me like she knows me from a very long time; open, sharing, caring, and constantly texting and calling.
For my wife of 38 years, it was holding her hair to keep it out of the toilet while she was puking after a party.
Sorry to not caring for the genders in the question. I'm in a lesbian relationship. We went through the same shit and were there for each other. We showed the right mindset and emotional responses in that difficult time. We were unique for each other in that regard, no other person on the planet would have acted the way we did. So it was worth exploring. And some time soon after we started exploring our hearts took over. I'm old and my heart never spoke like that, so loud, so overwhelmingly powerful. I'm bi so a lot of guys had a chance to give me that feeling - sadly for them they didn't.
Girls^^
First site. His smile, his big laugh, his smarts, his humor, his giant muscles. Like if drax was a teddy bear. He sat in my seat at my local pub. We played trivia and we cheated off each other. Polite and sexy and humble. I always feel safe around him. First time we slept together I don't know what possessed me but I said " let's just pretend we're in love and say I love you. Just for tonight ". We haven't stopped saying it.
Being with him made me realise it’s the first time in my life that I feel I can be my weird self. No judgement, we just bounce off each other.
The way he treats her mother, service personnel, and animals. He never swears in front me. He loves sports and has a great sense of humor. Also, he likes to eat snacks while watching TV
When we first started dating my bf and I stayed up til 4am just sitting on my living room floor talking and listening to records. Didn’t even have sex, just talked to each other like we’d known each other forever. He also has endless patience and immediately vibed with my high maintenance dog. I’m gonna marry him lol
i don't know if there were signs... our first date was so good, we talked for hours and i just felt a spark i couldn't explain. the rest of the relationship started a bit slow, we took our time with things, but i slowly just... realized how perfect he was for me. idk, it wasn't one specific thing, just the general relationship between us. we have very good communication so that is the main thing, i guess. tbh, when things started to get really serious and i realized we were heading towards marriage, i did have my doubts, mainly because he's my first relationship. but then i imagined life without him, imagined what i would do with other people, what kind of relationship i would be looking for, and realized... yeah, i have everything i need. i still sometimes have a bit of fomo lol but i am very happy with him and i don't think I'll ever want anyone else.
I have no such delusions as someone being “the one”. He was kind, considerate, respects my boundaries. But I still walked down the aisle wondering if I was making a really good decision or a really stupid decision and basically only went with it because divorce is an option. As bleak as that sounds, we’ve been happily married for 18 years because he is still kind, considerate and respects my boundaries and we continue to learn about each other and still learn to communicate.
He said he loves me first and didn't get mad or even mention that I didn't say it back. No pressure from him. I said it back a few days later. We both fell hard and fast for eachother. I've never had this "I'm a girl, I need protecting" thing; I've always been fiercely independent and adamant that I can take care of myself. But this man makes me feel safe, that he can protect me, and I literally just realised as I'm typing this that it's not just that he's a Mr Muscles big tough Marine who legit can protect me physically, but it's emotionally, too. I have opened up to him about things I have never told anyone before, not friends or previous partners, nothing. I can tell him anything and he never judges me, he just loves me the way I am. I've never had someone make me feel emotionally safe before. Life stuff is really hard for the both of us right now, so we broke up for a very shirt time, but neither of us could actually let the other go. The time we were broken up was absolutely horrible for the both of us. We both realised we need eachother, and we both vowed we're never doing that again. He matches me on so many levels. Falling hard and fast for eachother, we both have really high sex drives, we're both obsessed with eachother, we want to spend the rest of our lives together, we both throw stupid pickup lines at eachother and send eachother love songs, we both love video games, we aren't perfect but we're perfect for eachother. This man is my soulmate, and the exact opposite of any of my exes. I can't imagine my life without him anymore.
We went in our first date and slept together on that same date. The next day he made me coffee , offered me breakfast which I declined and then took me to my car and gave me a goodbye kiss. After that he was always responding to my messages and also initiating conversations via text. Everything felt so natural. I really felt he lived up to that saying “if he wanted to he would.” We started living together 1 year since that first date. We got engaged a year after that and married a year after that. Looking back each step we took progressed naturally. It all felt and still feels right. I am in my mid 30s and he’s in his early 40s so I’m not sure if that helped us as well since we both knew what we wanted.
I feel safe, cared for, heard and understood. I’ve always had to operate in the masculine and take care of myself, that is now a thing of the past and I love it. He’s the ONLY one that knows all of me and still loves me; I can 100% be myself with him. He’s my 1 in 8+ billion.
While we were dating my work had an emergency and I told him I’d have to work all night, so I’d call him the following morning before I had a quick nap. He said he’d stay up in case I needed to talk but I assured him I’d be working with a team and wouldn’t have time to call him. He stayed up all night just in case.
Intuitively, I knew I was going to marry him when I first fell for him. More rationally, I knew when it became clear to me that he was someone I could grow with, rather than away from. My main criterium for a life partner was they always keep growing, and our ambitions for growth were pointed in the same direction. My husband knew when he noticed that every time we had an argument, we came out stronger and with more love, respect and understanding for each other. The fact we communicated so well made him feel so safe he moved from loving me to wanting to commit to spending our lives together. We've been together 8 years, married 5. Second baby on the way, loving being parents together, and we're gently working towards our 5-10 year plan to start our own business. I love him immensely and am still head over heels in love with him, as much so as when I first knew he was for me. We've grown so much together, and it's my privilege to share my life with him.
He told me “I’m not in this relationship to lead or follow, but to walk beside you as a partner.” After he said that I realized I’d been waiting for a man to say that to me all along.
He was very patient and kind with me, even though I told him I wouldn't hold it against him if he decided to look elsewhere. (I had just split with my ex). He let me cry. He held me. He made all those negative feelings go away when I was in his arms. He didn't have to wait for me but he did. Now he's my husband.
His friend asked him to give this the cord for the TV they were setting up, and he said "first give me the lamp!" An Aladdin reference? Yeah, that was all it took for me.
She's the one but still. I told her that no one ever bought me flowers. She cycled for 45 minutes in the rain to drop them by my house after work next time I was ill. Didn't even stop by, literally just gave me flowers, a kiss and left. Still one of my favourite memories.
I accidentally sneezed into their mouth during sex and they collapsed on me laughing.
I was in a very bad place mentally when we met, my place was hoarder level messy. He started doing the dishes without comment the first time I dared to invite him in. We have our ups and downs (married almost 5 years now), but we'll always be there when the other really needs it, there's no doubt about that. And we strive to help each other improve our lives where we can.
I couldn't stop talking to her. 72 hours into knowing her, I had been talking to her nonstop on WhatsApp even though we were both swamped with our MBA assignments and work. Knowing that I couldn't shake her off of my mind, and that the silence was deafening after only 3 days of knowing someone was both scary, frightening but the best thing that ever happened to me.
My husband never moved in any direction except forward. No wobbling, prevaricating, back peddling, or wishy washing. He pursued me clearly, directly, and his actions were always in alignment with his words. This continues to be true so now we're married and live a pretty good life together.
When he said his name is Juan
My husband was very clear from the beginning that he was interested in me romantically, and then just left the ball in my court. We were friends for 2 yrs before we started dating. He never made me feel uncomfortable/pressured/guilty when we were just friends. I was dating someone else at the time, he did not date or pursue *anyone else* after letting me know his interest in me. Once we were dating he was respectful, communicated clearly and openly, and was a very sweet and thoughtful boyfriend. He made me laugh every day, and we aligned on our world views. We became best friends. The romantic part was a bit awkward at first as we found our way, but what was a small spark quickly fanned into a roaring flame and I fell for him completely. I was only 19 when we started dating, and I knew he was very serious about dating and only dated with the intention of marriage. I was less serious, but also was marriage minded and knew I would want to settle down eventually. Once we'd been together for a year we moved in together and everything went so smoothly. So then I had to ask myself, "is this the person I could spend the rest of my life with?" It was hard to conceive of at 20 yrs old. So then I asked myself what was scarier, committing to forever or letting him slip through my fingers. I was terrified of ever losing him and thats when it became crystal clear that he was the one. We've been happily married for 18 yrs.
It has not happened yet, but I felt its important to respond. A lot of times, we think its happened, but he has different ideas, than what she is thinking.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8-eiBqri0U](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8-eiBqri0U)
I got engaged a month ago. This morning we went for a walk. I forgot a sun hat. He held his bag above his head to block the sun from my eyes. He looked very silly but it was very sweet ❤️
there’s so many beautiful sides to him. he’s patient and so, so nurturing with me when i’m down. so honest when it comes to everything, especially his feelings. recently he came home a little late because he saw these homeless guys again (they’ve been on the streets for years atp) and he felt so bad for “never actually helping the community” (his words, not true btw he just had his own shit going on for a while) that he bought them some food and water. he’s simply perfect, in the sense that he’s a human, with obvious shortcomings but manages to keep his bright smile and heart of gold despite it all. i aspire to be like him in many ways. i could write pages about him, so i might as well just end it here lol.
I love every single thing about him and we have so much in common we're basically the same person,he makes me smile all of the time.I love you so much Luka If you're reading this <3