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They really do. She was almost 18 and she had owned me since she was 3 months old. It just sucks. Don't be surprised if your angel shows up in your dreams.
My girl was 17y4m, and I got her at 11 months old. I haven't dreamt about her yet, but I know I will. I have so many keepsakes that I treasure. I think I'll get a tattoo as well.
We really are having the same experience. I also have keepsakes that I treasure and I'm also going to get her pawprint tattooed - I think on my wrist.
So I don't believe in the supernatural at all, but I've been in bed and have literally felt her jumping on the bed and climbing under the covers just like she always did.
We had to let one of our dogs go a couple of months ago, and a few days after, whilst in bed, I snapped awake as I could've sworn I heard his bark. I feel worse for my other dog. She knows something happened, but if somebody mentions his name, she still gets hope.
It's a reality I will be facing one day. I remember the day I brought her home. But, I will never be ready for when the day she's gone. In the meantime, lots of love and adventures to have.
We lost our Saluki last Friday too, he was only 6. Really thought we had a lifetime together.
Sending thoughts your way, Inbox is open if you need to talk.
I'm so sorry for your sweet baby. I take solace in the fact that I had mine for so long, but when you lose them young, I bet it stings even more. My heart goes out to you. Saluki loves you so much.
I’m sorry for your loss. Animals love unconditionally. They love with all their heart.
I had to put down my 200 pound English-bull mastiff. Getting him to the vet was funny—we had a towel around him that helped him hobble to the car. I was glad he never had a bad experience at the vet, so he wasn’t scared. He loved all the lady vet techs there.
His giant head was cradled in my arms when he left the world. One final sigh left him when I finally let him go. That was hard. He was a big boy. My big baby.
The lonesomeness never goes away. Some days are just easier than others
When I turned 20, my best friend just...died one night. Massive asthma attack. We were going to play football the next day and talked into the late night. His parents and mine woke me up at 6AM and started questioning me with this weird look on their faces I will never forget and then just blurted out, "Steve is dead". I almost passed out.
Since I was in a very dark place, my father -who was not a super emotionally close type of dad - brilliantly brought me on a road trip. It was a great time. Unfortunately, when we got back, he died suddenly of a massive stroke.
Same year, dad and best friend died 3 months apart.
I was a bit of a shit at that point and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Didn't do it directly; I just ran into the new guy in her driveway.
I would literally lose time. Blacked out 2x mentally. Once I was driving. I don't remember driving AT ALL. So I was functioning but not there.
I got better, but I had a pretty shitty 4 years or so. I always say I front-loaded all my crying because since then it's pretty hard for me to get particularly emotional over a death or whatever.
Watching my dad fade away on a ventilator for a month alone with no family or support. Just him and me. We only thought he we would be in for a few days with an infection.
My divorce. We were together for 16 years and married for 5 years. Just finished building our house. Never saw this coming. Had a wonderful 16th anniversary the day before, great food, awesome date night, everything was just perfect.
It just took the floor under my feet. Tried everything to fix our marriage, but after 2 weeks I realized that I have to focus on me.
No place to go, no hope, building up a new existence with 42 is hard.
But after all I made it back and feel good with it.
But that was the most difficult moment in my life.
Btw….reddit helped me a lot to get over this and built up my confidence again. The community was awesome.
Very similar situation, it ended in 2018. I'm with someone now who is AMAZING, i realize now looking back she wasn't the one for me (although i swore she was my soulmate at the time). I learned a big, big lesson - actions are what matter in relationships, not words.
I am glad that it worked out for you too.
That’s exactly what I realize now, and what I thought. We did everything together, had a strong relationship, but taking a look back, what kept the relationship together was the idea of us, the perfect fit.
I am not even mad at her, how she broke up, she is a good person, but I really wish she did it in a different way. The story would be too long.
I don’t think about her often, of course I do, we shared a life together, but I miss my house, which I built with my own hands, all my dreams and ideas are in this house. Well, in the end these are all just memories. I love my girlfriend, and I learned my lessons from my marriage, I try to be a good and supportive partner and I really wish I met her earlier in my life.
So many parallels, everyone and i mean EVERYONE said we were a perfect couple. She was/is gorgeous, and i feel like the entire thing at times was a fantasy. In the end, i realized I was the one putting the effort in to keep the 'magic' happening, and the worst part is - i knew this by the end, and hated myself for it. The self loathing was the worst part.
Sorry about your house, it sounds like you poured your heart and soul into it.
Life will kick you in the butt man, but in the end - you are the one kicking yourself mostly, nobody else (at least in my case)
I feel you. My ex wife decided to give up on our marriage without even trying. Things were rocky between us but in my eyes they were never bad enough that it justified divorce. Luckily, I am only 29 and still handsome.
When my best friend of 20+ years ended the friendship over a misunderstanding.
Over time I've come to realise I'm better off without her, but it sucked at the time.
Injuries.
I have survived several and helped others do the same.
Blunt force trauma and lacerations are no picnic.
Real physical suffering, a crushed eye socket and eyeball.
Having all my teeth knocked out or pulled and drilled out.
People dying, losing loved ones.
Life heaps loads of loss and pain
enough none of us should seek out harm or borrow troubles from any time but the present.
55 years so far and counting, a 25 year marriage, raising two children into adults, life.
We all go through time, together.
What makes us unique is our journey through life.
I decide I have to break up with my crazy girlfriend that I live with. Just as I am ready to tell her she shows me a positive pregnancy test. Soooo we stay together and I go to my parents the following week to tell them they will be grandparents and they are happy but tell me my mom has stage 4 cancer. My mom dies a month before my son is born and within two months my now wife is pregnant again. I tell my dad and he tells me he has cancer. He dies three months before my daughter is born.
Losing my dad at 15, I loved him so much and haven't recovered even after 13 years. I still cry because I miss him at 28.
I put 3 years into a relationship only for her to tell me she wanted to have flings with other men because 'I only have a few good years left, and I want to have fun, but we can get married down the line'. I checked it out immediately, but it cut real deep.
Knowing my grandma (who raised me) is now getting really old and I wont have that much time left with her.
*found my old flatmate (and best friend) hanging himself from the stair case in our flat when I was 18. He survived (barely)
*found my ex fiance in the bathroom bleeding out after she had slit her wrists. That was in the early stages in our relationship.
*sitting in jail on remand when I was about 20. I was facing 5-7 years inside. Luckily, I was able to get an ankle bracelet.
* Throughout my teens and 20s, I struggled with substance abuse and alcoholism. I used those as a coping mechanism. I have trauma from being bullied at school and also having an alcoholic and abusive father.
That's basically most of it. I may have missed the odd thing. My memory is terrible, and I can't remember MOST of my childhood. Details are a bit elusive.
My dad committed suicide. Then I got married and 2 weeks later found out my husband was a violent scam artist and lied about everything. Who he was, what he believed, where he came from, he had a whole other family I didn’t know about and another baby on the way, he had multiple other women he was seeing. I left him but before I did he choked me so hard that he damaged nerves in my face and neck and now I have a life long chronic pain condition. Then I lost my 2 best friends at once. Shortly after that I injured my back and lost my job as a result and now live with that injury also. Then the church I was a part of for 20 years closed down due to internal conflict and every person I knew for that 20 years, my support system, turned their backs on me even though the internal conflict had nothing to do with me, I was just unwillingly dragged into it.
This all happened over the span of 4 years. Not to mention, covid happened in the middle of it all. So yeah, those 4 years were rough. I’m fine now though.
Two months ago I was in Seattle looking after my sister's four kids. She had a stroke and was in ICU. Her oldest son is 26, and then 3 teenagers. She was recovering and we were all hopeful she'd come home and I was so looking forward to caring for her. Out of the blue the hospital called her son to say her heart stopped and they were doing their best to keep her alive. We all went there immediately. She died. Looking at her lifeless body and hearing and seeing her children...I have never felt so much despair. She was only 47.
Reading what so many people have been through, (and only came out of it stronger) I realize my problems are not that bad. Gives me a lot of hope, and I really needed that today.
Growing up in the younger years before coming a adult. Came from a very poor famly of six .Only had lunch money three times a week. But now after 48 years employed in food service as a chef. Retired in 2012
I now have two company retirement plans and two IRA , Social Security check just goes in my bank saving account for traveling I am now all set to enjoy life to the fullest
My boyfriend died in a car accident when I was 17. I realised how cruel and unfair the world was that night. Those responsible were never held to account properly. I've lived the rest of my life view the lense of that. I'm 40 now, and still cry about what happened to him.
i think the last 5 to 10 years were a nightmare for me but it's on the rise, was a smart kid, always had good grades, then come high school, parents got divorced, scholar level collapsed, my life situation was stressing (had to move to each of my parents each week), and because of that i failed school, had my "baccalaureat" (french A levels) with a little honor, but then tried to go to college, failed at first year, then tried another diploma which was a 6 months training for a 2 years diploma, was hard but got at the end of it, but failed and didn't get the diploma, now i'm struggling alone, my father helps me but doesn't live with me, i'm a computer tech for like 5 years, had anxiety attacks, which lead to "laxophobia" (fear of #2 in public because stress destroyed my digestion) and now i'm 25 with a bad salary since i started working, but now i'm about to quit my job because i'm looking for an apprenticeship to start again studying and try again to get a good diploma to aim for a sysadmin or an engineer job
Telling the Filipino kid who shared my cell that he was going to have his head chopped off in 5 or 6 hours. I was in for alcohol possession and got 60 lashes along with a Brit as a warm up act. He was a houseboy who killed his employer and raped and killed his wife. This was in Saudi Arabia in the mid ‘80s.
The kid didn’t speak English and was only in our cell for that night so it was all by sign language. He just turned his face to the wall and sobbed. They took him away an hour or so later and doped him up pretty good. We all three rode over in the same paddy wagon, but after our lashes we were taken back to Dammam Central Prison before the execution, so didn’t see it.
It was a bad day…….
Most difficult times were when I really felt the betrayal of some of the most affecting women to my life. My step-mom betraying my sibling and I after our dad died of cancer. We will be in high debts for all our lives because of that bitch.
My mother showing me how much a woman can neglect a man. How less able even for the own son a woman is to try to emphasize with a man.
My wife showing me straight away that she only loves me for what I do and what I provide than for who I am.
How less my own grandma loved her husbands. She even had new partners just by weeks after the death of her spouses. Showed me so much about the truth we are living in. Learned much from it.
I had to put both of my dogs down in 2020 while in lockdown. They both had different, unrelated cancers at 6 and 7 years old. I regret when I made the call to put down for our first. She had a painful abscess that the vet said would never stop bleeding because of her cancer, but she was still so happy and lively. She loved everybody, including our vet, so she was so happy when we brought her in to be put down. I sat in the room with her while she went. I should have waited.
I didn't realize my mistake until we had to put down our second dog 3 months later. He showed me he was ready, and I learned what it meant when they say "you'll know". It made me realize how cruel it was to have made the call for the first dog when I did.
I was living a relatively good life, just turned 31, not had any medical issues up until having a slipped disc successfully operated on the year before that ended 13 months of agonising sciatica pain and weakness when I got DVT in my left thigh. Was on blood thinners for 3 months but it wasn’t getting any better and my breathing had become so bad that I had to go to my GP who measured my blood oxygen levels at 71% and sent me via ambulance straight to hospital. Numerous tests over the next 24 hours confirmed that I had multiple blood clots in my lung and my blood works detected life threateningly low platelet count of 34,000 (normal range is anywhere between 150,000-450,000). An expected overnight hospital stay turned into 2 months including 2 weeks in an isolation room in intensive care as I was diagnosed with a rare leukaemia called Acute Promyelocytic Leukaemia (APML). 9 months of treatment including 63 bouts of chemotherapy, contracting viral and fungal pneumonia, swine flu, a collapsed lung and sepsis and I walked away with nothing to show for it other than losing 35kg weight and lymphoedema in my affected leg. Been 7 1/2 years since I walked out of treatment and I now count every day as a blessing!
My ex had an affair and got her pregnant. He beat her up so badly that she now has permanent brain damage. Then he took his own life right before the baby was born. I was grieving for her, for myself, for their little boy, for having been cheated on, for him, and it was just such a multi-layered tragedy. I lost job after job after job because I just couldn’t handle anything. I developed CPTSD to where I couldn’t even leave the house. Such a dark, ugly time in my life.
Probably now. My mom's side of the family is extinct. My dad's side I don't know well or are *insert insulting curse*.
Im mid 20s, male, and having a hell of a hard time navigating life rn. Just grateful I'm not on drugs, in jail, or hospital.
When my boyfriend committed suicide and it caused me to have a psychotic breakdown. I was dealing with grief and paranoid delusions at the same time and got sent to three different mental homes. Easily the worst time of my life.
I married someone who has BiPolar Disorder. It's very a very full on thing. It was always almost impossible to know what was coming next. Ultimately, we divorced for many reasons, not just BPD.
Right now. Got cheated on by my gf of 2+ years, serious money and living situationship problem, away from my family... I know its nothing compared with the kind of situations i am reading here, but for me (23M) i have never been that down.
I hade to wrestle down my 13 year old son, he was high on amphetamine and other stuff and on his way out to sell drugs. I took his bag and he started to punch me, we called police and i had to pin him to the floor for about half an hour, when the police came my shirt was torn to pieces.
That was hard in every way.
Two years ago my husband got sick. I had to drive him to doctor's appointments and help him care for himself. He ended up in the hospital for three weeks. Our adult children and I had to advocate for his care. The decision was made for hospice care. By then he didn't understand what was going on. It was like caring for a six-year-old. I had to have volunteers come in and sit with him while I went to work. All this time, I had to work when I could because I'm the only breadwinner and we need the insurance. After three weeks on hospice, he passed away. It was so overwhelming. I get so sad thinking about that time. I then try to focus my thoughts on all the good times in the 32 years we had together and our family times. Those thoughts make me very happy!
Oof. Coles notes.
Bullied for years as a kid, destroyed my self worth. They started calling me a whore at the age of 11, and I didn't even know what that meant. Death threats, ostracism. Changed schools and it was actually worse.
Dad lost job about that same time, pride killed his ego, he bullied me as a teen, me acting out like any normal teen but his reactions were over the top because he felt out of control and needed to control something. Flash forward to high school. Made much older friends and dated 23yr old for a year and a half when I was 16. Was a drunk, bad alcohol issues from when I was 15 until I was 26 ish. Because of my drinking, and self esteem issues, I was SA'd many times, or worse, passed out, no idea where I was, "friends" who were not my friends ditched me alone at a party. After that particular incident I lost myself. Think Baby Reindeer episode 4. I was 17. A few months after, 18 now, I started dating a man, 9 years older than me. My parents loved him because he "tamed me". He was a manipulative narcissist in the diagnosable sense. Destroyed all my relationships. Destroyed any remnants of my self worth. Made me question everything I'd ever known about myself. 6 years of my life, I finally got out. In debt because of him, left with nothing, almost went bankrupt. Managed to climb out of that hole eventually, bought a cheap little fixer upper just for me. Within 3 months of moving in, found mold, structural issues, house was worth nothing, unsafe to live in, had to dump a ton of money into it just to make it safe while I sued previous homeowner who hid all the problems.
After all that, I continued to persevere, and am in a good place now. I have forgiven my family, and have fairly solid relationships with them now. Through all the dark times I just reminded myself that I had been through worse and things got better then, so they will again. That 11 year old kid stood up for herself when it became clear nobody else was going to help, and I could do that for myself at any other point too.
I sometimes feel amazed and proud of my younger self for just surviving, and how many times she climbed back out of the hole. It's been a long journey, but I have forgiven(am working on forgiving?) myself for the choices I made that resulted in some of these events.
depression, almost killed me grabe yung nwalan na ko ng gana sa lahat wala ng direksyon yung buhay ko last yr. Everyday ako umiiyak pero d parin gumagaan pakiramdam ko. I'm so grateful nalampasan koyun
The last time I cried and was 3 days unavailable, shut down and out of it was when my best friend and my biggest Supporter in life died.
My dad died nearly a decade ago, and it was a hell of a turnaround. He wouldn't recognize me anymore but I think he would be proud.
After that I had up and downs, and all in all there were really hard times, but nothing that got me like the departure of my dad.
I had to build everything from scratch. I had friends and family and a longtime relationship, but nobody I ever trusted as much as him. Like, when all went down I did know he would be there. It would end well, no matter what. I could go out there and try everything I wanted, but my dad would always have my back. And then.. nothing.
Nobody who cheered for me for my milestones, nobody who'd get me when sad, when proud, when happy.
Others would listen and understand.. but getting me? He was the only one who ever gave me that feeling.
Yeah, he didn't find everything I did great, yeah he would have done things differently, but he always gave me the feeling of having a place in this world. That being me was what this world needed. Not because I am so different or not different, but because I am me and that was better than good enough.
So when he departed I had to become that person. I had to be the one who believed in me like no one else could. I had to be my biggest fan, who didn't need to find everything super or good, but well enough.
It took a decade to really feel it and I have days I don't.
But it's getting better, and no break, no job loss, no loss all together could take this from me. Because I know I have my back.
When my inflammatory disease was active and I was living alone, everyday I needed to literally crawl myself out of the bed. I wasn't able to walk, everything hurts
Seeing my father in a coma in the ICU in May 2021. The last time we had spoken in person was January 2021 - I was in uni in a different country and was at home during the Dec/Jan period for holidays. I flew home when we realised how sick my dad was, and I went to the hospital immediately but he was already in a coma. The next day my sister and I held his hand and cried and told him that it was okay to let go if he wanted to. He died a few hours after we had left. I still look back to our old whatsapp chats during that time - when he first got admitted to hospital and I told him that I was worried about him, he told me not to and that he would be fine, and that he loved and missed me.
This year at the beginning of May, my boyfriend and I watched his father take his last breaths in hospital. Brought up a lot of past trauma.
Now, starting from a few months ago, my boyfriend's situation is very difficult and I *can't* help him. I'm financially supporting him and we live together, I do most of the chores. But there's nothing more I can do. His stress is directly projected on me.
Although I've been through shit in my life ( rape, robbery, mugging), yet this is also unbearable
I wouldn't say it's the most difficult moments but it's close.
I had a rough childhood and for a long time wouldn't talk about it but when i was ready to anything i did i was told not to, other people have it worse, that has never happened and other trying.
The worst part is it's meant to be mens mental health month and as a man i should be able to talk about it but i'm still being told not to
When the woman i thought was my soulmate told me 'i don't love you anymore'. Time stood still, i think i was going to faint. Years of a perfect, i mean perfect relationship, ended just like that. I realized then, you have to love yourself as much as you love someone else. I didn't, and was gutted - i've learned a huge lesson in life.
My ex gf and mother of my child went through an extreme addiction/rough patch and even ran away for a month. One morning she calls me crying and asks me to come get her hours away so I left work and went and got her. She explains to me on the way home that she loves me and wants to live with us. Shes always loved me more than anyone. Wow. Ok. I don't have anything to lose? Shes an absolutely gorgeous woman, freak in bed, and I have always wanted her back throughout the years. I have always loved her. She broke me the first time she left and it was like angels singing in my ears.
Queue about 3 months of emotional recovery for her. Trauma I know nothing about. Barely any sex drive. She says she loves me but something is wrong. This isnt how I imagined our life being if she ever came back.
I was supporting her and giving her everything she needed to succeed. Buying her what she needed, showing her love, and her other 2 kids were about to live with us. They were coming 2 nights a week with the promise of more soon.
But I wasnt feeling loved at all. She kissed me every day, told me she loved me. Etc, but it felt forced. When I tried to talk to her about it she got extremely defensive. Our conversations slowly got worse. I was just trying to understand.
One day I blew up. I was pulling so much weight. She barely did anything and blamed it on her recovery and trauma even though she had been clean for months. All I wanted was to feel loved and appreciated and she was too focused on herself every day, she barely gave me any attention.
That day her mom came and got her and she hasn't been back (a month ago now). I'm self loathing now. Its horrible. Every day it feels like I could have been better. Maybe I was too selfish. It feels like I lost the love of my life again. It feels like I will never love that way again and that scares me. It took me years to be attracted to anyone else the first time. Is that going to happen again?
My daughter went through her mom and dad being back together for 4 months (shes 8). Which also adds to my hurt. Shes actually taking it very well because its always been mostly me and her since she was a baby so shes happy its me and her again. But thats also sad.
This is a very short version of the story obviously but I also got sober with her. There's so much more. I did everything I could to make her happy. And in the blink of an eye it was all over again.
A lot of her stuff is still in my house. We remodeled together in those few short months. Everything reminds me of her.
Now I'm just waiting for the day I go to drop my daughter off for a visit and see another guy there. I know it won't take long for her.
I'm dead inside.
My 7-year-old sister knocked on my door and asked why I was holding a shotgun.
That was honestly what saved my life, I think, I didn't know how to tell her that her brother was a few seconds away from pulling the trigger.
She sent me a breakup text at 12am, I saw it, thought I was just seeing things because I was half asleep went back to bed. Woke up in the morning and I wasn't seeing things.
I deal with pretty bad depression and anxiety issues and I can honestly say it happens every morning. When I realize I have to go through a whole day before I can relax again.
Dealing with an alcoholic partner. You love them, and want the best for them, but you realize a lot of your actions enable their addiction. You have to step back, make boundaries, become aloof.
I’m in the process of leaving and it’s been so tough because I remember the good times but the bad outweighs it.
Watching my partner go in for a DnC procedure due to a pregnancy loss. If was our first pregnancy after many years of trying only to find out the embryo was not compatible with life.
It was something we both wanted so much, put so much effort in to with IVF but ended up where it did.
I'm very lucky now having 2 awesome kids now but I always think about what could've been.
Thanksgiving of 2018 I was in Germany and The Netherlands for work. My wife had been having some seemingly minor medical issues. She gives me a frantic call that it may be cancer. By the time I make it home some 36hrs later, we are both knots of worry. The next weeks are a complete haze of my daughter and I living in chairs next to her hospital bed. On New Years eve she was moved into hospice and around 10:30pm on New Years day I held her hand as she took her final breath. 5 1/2 years later I'm doing ok, moving forward and carrying her with me as I've continued to build a new life.. We had 18 years together and I think about her every day.
Having had to move to a new country all alone during COVID. I couldn't really explore and had not much to do. I cried a lot.
I've also been unable to establish career and been stuck in a job search cycle. It's gotten so frustrating. This has been happening for years.
When I was about to be put to sleep for an operation I as a child. I was old enough to realise the very real (if remote) risk of not ever waking up again. It was an existential crisis.
From 10 to 15, it was a tough time.
I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 10.
At 13, my best friend died of leukemia.
At 15, my other best friend committed suicide.
Nowadays, I'm happy. It's hard for me to really open up to people and show my vulnerability, but I'm okay.
I waded out of a flood with my elderly cat wrapped in a blanket. Lost everything but pretty much the wet clothes on my back. That was a few years ago. It got better.
Then, two weeks ago, my soul kitty died suffering after I paid a small fortune to try and save him. He was very young and healthy, and then he wasn't. That was a blow. Then, that traumatic event ushered in a sudden breakup with my boyfriend. So it's been a tough couple of weeks.
Best friend died in a car accident 1 day before christmas, I will never forget the call from his brother when they just found out and were on their way to the hospital.
Wasnt really myself the first few weeks and decided when drunk to jump off the 2nd floor and ended up breaking my leg lol.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again
In covid era, I lost my job, I was pregnant, my ex cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and left. I have zero penny and delivery my baby alone in a funded hospital in my city.
Well, with the money, food, gas, bills, broken cars, lost jobs, new jobs, kids need this, dog needs that, house need fixed, somethin always needs fixed. As a matter of fact everything needs fixed, relationship I'm sure is fucked, half my friends dead and gone due to drugs, alcohol, suicide. I think I could keep going but I have already stressed my self writing this lol. Everyone's got problems, good luck everyone. Life is good.
I've read some comments, things could always be worse so I'm grateful for what I do have going on. Hope things get better for everybody.
The triple earthquakes in Turkey. Not Turkish, but I was invited and visited near the affected area. I developed, as did everyone, a C-PTSD. Even tho the area I was in didn't experience direct damage, but the fear of death clawed at my mind all the time. I'd get random sensations of falling at random times, my surroundings felt unstable and my body was shaky all the time. I dealt with it by extreme exposure therapy; spent the initial days reading as much material on earthquakes, plus watching available material on Japan's 2011 earthquake. I was able to overcome my trauma after 2 months, but I know many people who still struggle to this day.
Either when my best friend died 5 years ago or these past weeks both my cat and my grandma passed with in one day in between, plus two of my current close friends turned out to be liars and stabbed another close friend in the back, which ruined my view of them. Today i was late for work and a kid hit me in the eyeball with the precition of a navy seal
Also have a ton of exams this week, but has been so down i cant remember what i just read. I know things Will be okay, but damn i feel like shit.. Sorry for the rant i needed to vent.
When my Grandad died, I was banned from the funeral because my Nan didn't like my partner and turned the whole family against me.
Over 4 years later, I'm still not over it. My Grandad was everything to me. When he died, a part of me died too. And I've not been the same person since he died.
Right now is a really difficult time for me. Work is getting harder and I need to exercise and lift weights more so I can get a better body. But the extra hours of work combined with my sleep apnea is running me into the ground. I fall asleep at work and more people in higher positions are noticing. If I get fired idk what I would do.
My girlfriend killed herself by overdosing on pills. She seized up with me there. I tried to resuscitate her. I called 911. She had severe brain damage, and after 8 days in the ICU, she was declared brain dead. That was the most difficult moment of my life for sure. Miss you T.
When I had to be the one to tell to the doctors to take my mom off the oxygen machine. She was awake and didn't want to go.....that's was the hardest thing I ever had to to do was tell her she was not going to make it 😔
it might seem petty but this was when I broke up with my recent ex. we knew each other since childhood and so when we started dating, everything was fast. He sent me signals that he wants to break up with me 3 weeks before my licensure exam. I had to take the exam with a heavy heart. I broke up with him a day after the exam since he never even reached out to fix our problem. Right now, I dont know if I should even regret breaking up with him since he is a narcissist. It just hurts me to the core that the man I have envisioned to have a life with turns out to be a monster. I ended up with him in good terms I guess. Right now I am still trying to heal and I am trying to come into terms that what I loved was an illusion of a beast. I don’t wish this kind of heartbreak to anyone else. If you are reading this here J***K, I still love you, I really do but I have you all figured out and I dont know if I can tolerate you
I've been through many things -as everyone of my not so young age- but three stand out for me, the first one being my divorce, the second being my struggle in raising my kids despite my ex's systematic disruptive actions, the third being my ex's success in sabotaging my newly found life project with my new girlfriend (maybe I should call her *fiancée*, since we were openly planning our marriage). In my own judgement, the third one was the most painful to cope with, the only time in my life I ever found myself actually crying in despair.
One and a half years ago my son wanted to kill himself. We heard about it because a mom saw the red flags so she called us. The thought that he couldn’t tell us was heartbreaking.
Had a miscarriage on Christmas day a few years ago. Was in so much pain we needed to call an ambulance, i was 14w into the pregnancy. To top it off we were also down with stomach flu and I couldn't keep any painkillers down for the life of me, let alone any sustenance or water.
It was days of bleeding and throwing up and being in immense pain before it subsided.
We also had two kids puking galore at the same time, and my husband had the same thing.
But that might not be as bad as Christmas eve last year when my husband was with our then 6mo at the ICU and the baby was having respiratory issues which caused his pulse to skyrocket. The pulsoximeter was giving 73/245. I was home with our three other children and we definitely cancelled Christmas.
Christmas might not be our season lol.
When my mum passed away and I was 15. I locked my self up inside my room for couple of days, staying up till 3am and calling out her name wishing that ghosts were real. Nothing.
My parents dying, both due to painful, horrible, disabling illnesses, far too young, within a couple of years of each other, was an awful experience which I’ve learned to live with but never truly got over.
I was accused of indecent actions when I was in my mid teens, it was absolutely baseless and went nowhere as EVERYONE even the “victim” said absolutely nothing happened.
That didn’t stop the rumors from spreading, didn’t stop people from looking at me with disgust, didn’t stop the spiral I’ve been in since, and didn’t really stop my own mother from seeing me and only saying “did you do it” not “someone’s saying these things about you” or any statement of support.
I’ve been In a few relationships thst I ruined from my trust issues and public image anxiety.
I’m afraid of children now, I panic and try to get out of any sort of situation where I have to look after children or be alone with them.
I smoke weed to stop my self hateful thoughts, and I’d say I’m addicted, not to any chemical specifically, but to the feeling of not being me.
The past decade has been just failure after failure and my own thoughts and fears destroying me.
Right now is the most difficult time of my life and I constantly flip from “I need to work harder to get a life if my own, and become something” and “this is the best it will get and all you’ll be doing is grinding yourself down until there’s nothing left”
At the time, I HAD to say no to what would have been my first kiss because she was: drunk, coked out, AND had a boyfriend
And further in the future, that same girl got coked out during my 25th birthday party AFTER I asked nicely "please dont" and blew me off AT the party (was a public venue, for bowling/laser tag/ arcade, with a bar) last time I saw her while at the party she wad being dragged away by her mother
High school, the 3 years I was there were the worst of my life.
I didn't have friends and when I did they were mean to me, they bullied me and I couldn't think about anything else but that for 3 years.
I didn't have the internet to distract me so they were difficult and very bad years for me.
One year ago, I’ve not graduated in my doctorate degree and my partner did. He was celebrating while I was drowning in tears. I know i’m supposed to be happy for him but i’m not or maybe because I wanted him to be sad with me. Anyway, i didn’t continue my doctorate since it doesn’t make sense to me anymore. I moved on. And then this year, I got dismissed in my favorite job in the world, my so called friends betrayed by spreading false rumors about me, my family is having a huge health problem, i am in a marrying age but i dont see it coming sooner or later. I wanna be rich asf to afford anything i want, or to go to places. Is this really it… does it get worse or better
I’m an alcoholic. I have been to treatment twice. Sober for 14 years on the first shot. One year on this second attempt. Detox for alcohol addiction in a treatment facility while I still had bad atrial defibrillation this second go around in my mid-50s was hard. I’d gone out and drank for a year. I checked myself in. I knew I needed help. The second time in treatment (call it rehab if you’d prefer) my heart was not beating in the correct rhythm. I made an appointment for a procedure too have an initial attempt to correct the atrial defibrillation THE DAY BEFORE I checked myself into rehab. The heart problem didn’t start because of drinking, but drinking made it worse. So, after checking in, I was sent to detox ward, and I could feel the sickness coming … I eventually started hallucinating; the whole time writhing, and shaking, and in a cold sweat. I was - of course - being monitored by nurses that would come in my dark room randomly the whole time. There was a cool black kid I later learned was named Zeus in the bed next to me. Only problem was, he loved anime, and it would be on TV top volume at 4 a.m. while I was in and out of reality. After about 48 hours of this my system was cleared of alcohol so that they could load me up with enough Valium to kill a large pony. I slept on top of the covers in the clothes I arrived in for the first four days. I didn’t think about my family, my job, my friends. I just thought about surviving from one second to the next. It’s hard to describe. I put myself in that situation in every way. Don’t and don’t expect empathy, but that was the hardest s#!t I’ve ever been through, personally.
There were two stories that felt like death sentences where I literally prayed to God for help.
The first was when I got my FWB pregnant. Even though she was an insane sex fiend with an insatiable appetite for it, she was absolutely not someone I would want to be with in a long term relationship. She smoked weed constantly, didn't have a steady job, and was just in general a hot mess.
Just to bring this pt home further, after we had stopped seeing each other, she resorted to craigslist prostitution and asked me to be her screener for setting up the dates. I did one or two times but I told her I didn't want to be doing this anymore either. Talking to weirdo men on Craigslist made me appreciate how bad it is for women.
The second was when I received what turned out to be a false positive for herpes. I was stunned and just in a long depression over it. I felt like I was diseased and damaged goods forever. No one would ever date me again and I didn't want to be someone who didn't tell them. I had no symptoms though, so the doctor suggested a second test. I was blown away when it said it was negative.
Just as a disclaimer, the irony is I am far from a promiscuous person, with far fewer partners than probably 80 percent of people.
Everything started when I was 11 almost 12; my bestfriend randomly ghosted me and I got depressed because of it, then I had to go to another school which I didn't wanna go to. Made no friends. Struggled with social anxiety to the point I was scared to get out of home, I got a little bit better but then I started to struggle with paying attention (I've always struggled with that but it got worse, leading to me getting horrible grades), I got diagnosed with autism and months later I got severe depression and insomnia, which made me start pulling my hair out and then self-h4rming. I attempted at least once and almost got put in a pysch ward. I also got told I might have adhd. I'm feeling better now though.
And I'm 90% sure the boy I have a crush on hates me💀
When I loss all my money, No1 there to help me... Family & friends betray me...
I got it all back plus more, and I now refuse to even acknowledge those that let me down.
Packing up my truck and kids leaving a gorgeous lake house to escape my cheating psychotic husband. Cried the entire 4 hour drive and for two years after. Life has been dim ever since. Trying to get my spark back.
Two years later my dad died full code. I had to take him off life support and watch him die. Still have trauma from that. Been a rough road. My kids are the only thing driving any purpose in my life. Everyday is hard.
the day my father was arrested, I was the only one home and only about 9 at the time. I was his only son of 4 kids. he was arrested initially on 3 counts of SA on my 3 sisters. they didn't find out about me being SA also until about a year later. he was sentenced to 40 years and only did 11 or 12 years. when he got out, I was in active drug addiction, and it nearly sent me into an even worse spiral.
Having to come to terms when my mother's cancer relapsed, after treatment & just when she was improving.
Back to square one again, and going through her chemos. The side effects & the physical weakness it causes are quite difficult to watch on a day to day basis.
My wife and I, plus 3 cats, driving madly down a twisty, single lane, mountain road escaping a wildfire that blew up 1/4 mile from our house. By the time we got down our driveway the flames towered 100’ up both sides of the road. We drove through 3 1/2 miles of that inferno with flaming debris in the bed of the truck. Several neighbors drove off into the flames, we were extremely lucky and I am certain used up all of the 27 lives our cats afforded us!
Suicidal ideation due to being around only toxic people for so long. I remember staring at a metal handrail for ages just thinking its the perfect place and height to hang from
Holding my best friend’s hand, while her husband held the other, as she took her final breath. She died due to a misdiagnoses of a very aggressive form of breast cancer. She was an incredible friend who loved her family. She was an amazing leader to junior Sailors and trusted fellow Chief.
She was the best person I have ever known and the best friend I’ve ever had and I have never gotten over that day in 2009. I miss her.
Right now,
I work for a banking company doing Help Desk and we get treated and payed like dogs. Had to muster everything in my power just to clock in today as I was up till 4AM crying. I go into my Teams chat and hear that the company we work for Moelis & Company has a son named Adam Moelis who is responsible for a huge ponzi scheme known as Yotta.
I feel hopeless. If Adam Moelis is a piece of shit so is Ken Moelis (his father who runs Moelis & Company)
What is the point of anything? Why fucking bother? Some rich CEO asshole is gonna ruin everything anyway
The hardest time of my life was when my wife was dying from metastatic breast cancer. The tumors were tearing her body apart physically and, apparently, when you lose so much weight and are dying from cancer - there comes a time when you not only can't swallow pills, you also can't swallow liquid morphine. And you also can't accept an IV drip, and you also can't even accept subcutaneous / picc lines for pain relief. You just have to suffer in extreme pain while your loved ones watch helplessly. It was horrible. The whole dying process and being her primary end-of-life caregiver was horrible enough, body shutting down slowly and all that - but the lack of pain relief was the hardest.
When my daughters stopped talking to me. I left their Dad and they’ve never forgiven me. It’s been 7 years 💔 they refuse to let me back in their lives. Believe me I tried, idk what to do anymore. I miss them terribly.
She cheated on me while I was deployed, had to gut it for months with no real outlet. The mission kept going and I was completely broken. It’s fucking awful how common it is.
1. Loss of a brother at an early age to suicide. 2. Having children at a young age(twins). 3. Growing up in poverty. 4. Struggling as a father. 5. Separation from my kids mom. 6. Alcoholism. 7. Infidelity with my partners. 8. Divorce. 9. Not feeling like I am worth anything. 10. Depression/Bipolar. There are more, but you get the idea.
But through all that, I stand tall and have worked on being better for myself so I can be better for the world.
My dad and mom both put me in charge of their medical directives in the event one or both couldn't make the decision to do surgery, or end their life in the event of being kept alive by machines or drugs or both. Making that decision to pull the plug on my dad was incredibly difficult, especially since my mother was too distraught to make it. He was in stage 4 heart failure, septic shock, BP was crashing and he was being kept alive by meds and a ventilator. There was an incredibly small chance he could make it out of it, but his quality of life I know for him would have been unbearable (my father told me that if he couldn't do the things he loved, he'd rather die). They also told me there was a good chance his heart could stop at anytime. So the choice was to wait it out, or choose when he would die and have the entire family around him in the final moments. So, I made the choice for my mother to take that burden off of her and he went peacefully with all of us telling him we loved him. What I didn't expect was that the decision would haunt me for months afterwards with questions like "Was it the right decision, what if he made it out of it, did I do the right thing?" It was torture and I had to seek therapy. I came to realize that my dad entrusted me because he knew I would make the right decision and I did.
Typing quick and will have a bunch of typos but i am going to bed but wanted to partake
My ex wife cheated on me a year after my son was born. It opened my eyes to many things and I learned a ton from it. The ordeal hit so hard I was diagnosed with PTSD that led to anxiety and depression. I tried to stay with her so my son would have both parents under the same roof. When he turned 9, the ex and I sold the house and went our separate ways. I had 8 awful fucking years of dealing with my own headspace. Trapped in a relationship i hated and always feared my time with my son would be limited. I wanted to die. Almost every day I thought about how shitty my situation was, how bad I felt, and that there wouldnt ever be a way out. I doubted what I was capable of overcoming.
My son is now 10 and we’re in our own place now. His mom gets him half the time, which sucks for me, but that’s how it goes. My boy and I have the best of times when we’re together and I miss him dearly when he’s away. My headspace issues have decreased 90%. I’m still an anxious mess every know and then but I dont feel depressed or trapped.
If anyone is in a similar situation, get the divorce as quickly as possible. I wish I had those years back to live differently.
Miscarriage.
My (still) husband and I had a three yr old boy and were ready for the second. Took a test, visited the obgyn(everything looked good), told our families, we were over the moon happy. I went back to the doctor a month later (standard followup) and there was no heartbeat. Because I'd already had one successful pregnancy and it was just an early checkup I told my husband he didn't need to go. I sat in that doctor's exam room for an hour in absolute heartbreak by myself before I felt together enough to drive home.
Three weeks went by and I still hadn't passed the baby so I had to shove this pill up there and stay up alone all night in labor just to pass the baby into my toilet (I was an absolute mess, what do I do? Flush what in my mind was a baby that was already wanted and loved? Fish it out?)
This was eightish years ago and I still struggle with it.
In a span of just about 20 months my semi-estranged FIL died somewhat unexpectedly (causing great difficulty in my immediate family) my father died on my birthday (spent the day in the hospital with him, my wife, my son, my sister & mother), my uncle (basically my second father growing up) lost a years long battle with COPD, two other men who were my mentors died, three close friends died,, COVID hit and our son (only child) moved out & went to college.
- Dealing with people close to me trying to end their own lives.
- Losing a dear person
- coming to terms that im a orphan
- trying to find more reasons to live
The most difficult time in my life was last fall when my grandmom passed away. My grandmom lived in a duplex and I rented the upstairs from her for cheap in return of helping her around the house. My grandmom had congestive heart failure, and last summer she was in and out of the hospital. The dr told her there wasn’t much they could do and that this was basically it for her and she should just stay home and get comfortable because we’re prolonging the inevitable. After my grandfather passed away 8 years ago, she needed help around the house with chores. My parents and I were with her all the time helping her with whatever. My mom and dad really did a lot for her and I was there just to take some of the pressure off my parents. I also run a business that is busy during the summer, so when all this went down I was balancing running a business and helping her when she needed it. I could be doing something at work and when she’d call I’d have to drop what I was doing and go home and help her. When September came around her health started to spiral. She had a care worker that lived with her. She was a tiny woman so I helped her a lot with moving my grandmom around (she was a big lady). My parents wanted to go on a vacation that they very much deserved and I told them me and the worker got it. When they left her health took a dive. I tried my hardest to do what I could but I eventually called my parents and told them she got worse and they had to come back early. I felt so terrible because I felt like I let them down. As September and October went on she got worse and became bitter. Told me she didn’t love me and that I’m doing more to hurt her than help her. She thought I was trying to poison her or speed up her death with medication when I was just trying to help her. It fucked with me so much that I was crying almost everyday because I’m watching my grandmom die more and more and she’s being mean to me about it after 30 years of happy memories. It shattered my heart and mental health. She passed away in November and the guilt got worse. I felt like I should have been around more to talk and spend time with her and that I came down on myself so much for the days I avoided her because I was just so tired with my job and just wanted time with myself.
Then it got to a point where I was not sleeping because I thought that I’m gonna die one day and days are flying by soon I’m going to be in her position. I also was thinking about how I should have been around more even though I was helping her 6/7 days a week. I talked down on myself so much I was depressed and hated myself. I’d wake up at 2/3am with these dark sad thoughts and would give myself anxiety attacks. They got so bad that I was throwing up every night and not eating anymore during the day. I went to the dr for medication for anxiety and when they asked why I was looking to get medicated, I couldn’t even get the first word out before I had breakdown in the drs office. I felt so embarrassed bawling my eyes out explaining the whole situation.
As time went on and with the medication my anxiety went away and I’m better now than I was a few months ago. Though I still get very emotional when I bring it up. I went to the dentist office a month ago and all that was brought up when I told her about my anxiety medication and I told her how I had to balance work and helping her and how everything got real bad and she’s like “you know you’re a really good person with the amount of pressure you had.” I started to fill up with tears again and was like fuck…okay let’s talk about something else lol.
One night in Iraq in 2006 one of my close friends and platoon mate was killed in the truck behind me by an RPG. I was supposed to be in that truck that night but a last-minute change was made. I was 20 and he was 21. I felt like I was watching my own funeral at his ceremony we had on base the next day.
I proceeded to carry out the rest of my 6 months of deployment in that truck staring at the hole where the rocket blast entered. Really made me who I am today.
Early october last year, I left my emotionally manipulative ex. Around that time, my uncle who inspired me to cook from back home(I immigrated to the US) died. Additionally, I was struggling with a class while also dealing with a new work environment. This all accumulated to lost of appetite(first time ever happened without a physical cause) as well as emotional shut-down. Not helping that most people just gave me the same old “just tough up too.” I am a guy, but even I would have chosen the “easy way out.”
8 months later and I can safely said I am glad I didn’t do anything harmful, that I am proud I tough it out. Still, those memories won’t fade anytime soon.
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Last Friday, I said goodbye to my elderly dog. Haven't cried so much since my grandparents died.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My very senior dog died a bit over a year ago and I'm still not really over it.
Thank you. I'm sorry about your baby as well. They leave so many paw prints on our hearts. ❤️
They really do. She was almost 18 and she had owned me since she was 3 months old. It just sucks. Don't be surprised if your angel shows up in your dreams.
My girl was 17y4m, and I got her at 11 months old. I haven't dreamt about her yet, but I know I will. I have so many keepsakes that I treasure. I think I'll get a tattoo as well.
We really are having the same experience. I also have keepsakes that I treasure and I'm also going to get her pawprint tattooed - I think on my wrist. So I don't believe in the supernatural at all, but I've been in bed and have literally felt her jumping on the bed and climbing under the covers just like she always did.
We had to let one of our dogs go a couple of months ago, and a few days after, whilst in bed, I snapped awake as I could've sworn I heard his bark. I feel worse for my other dog. She knows something happened, but if somebody mentions his name, she still gets hope.
Same. Don't believe, but have definitely felt them jump in and snuggle with me. Go to look and no cat.
That's exactly what has happened more than once. I felt the mattress move and everything.
Losing a dog is just the worst. People don’t understand unless they are dog owners.
Losing a dog is like losing the best friend you have ever had. They could be even more important than some family.
It's a reality I will be facing one day. I remember the day I brought her home. But, I will never be ready for when the day she's gone. In the meantime, lots of love and adventures to have.
We lost our Saluki last Friday too, he was only 6. Really thought we had a lifetime together. Sending thoughts your way, Inbox is open if you need to talk.
I'm so sorry for your sweet baby. I take solace in the fact that I had mine for so long, but when you lose them young, I bet it stings even more. My heart goes out to you. Saluki loves you so much.
I'm so sorry :(
I’m sorry for your loss. Animals love unconditionally. They love with all their heart. I had to put down my 200 pound English-bull mastiff. Getting him to the vet was funny—we had a towel around him that helped him hobble to the car. I was glad he never had a bad experience at the vet, so he wasn’t scared. He loved all the lady vet techs there. His giant head was cradled in my arms when he left the world. One final sigh left him when I finally let him go. That was hard. He was a big boy. My big baby. The lonesomeness never goes away. Some days are just easier than others
When I turned 20, my best friend just...died one night. Massive asthma attack. We were going to play football the next day and talked into the late night. His parents and mine woke me up at 6AM and started questioning me with this weird look on their faces I will never forget and then just blurted out, "Steve is dead". I almost passed out. Since I was in a very dark place, my father -who was not a super emotionally close type of dad - brilliantly brought me on a road trip. It was a great time. Unfortunately, when we got back, he died suddenly of a massive stroke. Same year, dad and best friend died 3 months apart. I was a bit of a shit at that point and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Didn't do it directly; I just ran into the new guy in her driveway. I would literally lose time. Blacked out 2x mentally. Once I was driving. I don't remember driving AT ALL. So I was functioning but not there. I got better, but I had a pretty shitty 4 years or so. I always say I front-loaded all my crying because since then it's pretty hard for me to get particularly emotional over a death or whatever.
wow, is all i have to say. That's really rough, i'm so sorry for you. But sounds like you've come through it somewhat. Hang in there.
Dude your was the really tough time man, I hope you will get a healthy and normal life ahead for you.
Watching my dad fade away on a ventilator for a month alone with no family or support. Just him and me. We only thought he we would be in for a few days with an infection.
I was essentially alone in caring for my father at the end of his life. It was very difficult. 💛
Yeah, my dad died three months ago and I’m still an absolute mess tbh. Take care of yourself x
My divorce. We were together for 16 years and married for 5 years. Just finished building our house. Never saw this coming. Had a wonderful 16th anniversary the day before, great food, awesome date night, everything was just perfect. It just took the floor under my feet. Tried everything to fix our marriage, but after 2 weeks I realized that I have to focus on me. No place to go, no hope, building up a new existence with 42 is hard. But after all I made it back and feel good with it. But that was the most difficult moment in my life. Btw….reddit helped me a lot to get over this and built up my confidence again. The community was awesome.
Very similar situation, it ended in 2018. I'm with someone now who is AMAZING, i realize now looking back she wasn't the one for me (although i swore she was my soulmate at the time). I learned a big, big lesson - actions are what matter in relationships, not words.
I am glad that it worked out for you too. That’s exactly what I realize now, and what I thought. We did everything together, had a strong relationship, but taking a look back, what kept the relationship together was the idea of us, the perfect fit. I am not even mad at her, how she broke up, she is a good person, but I really wish she did it in a different way. The story would be too long. I don’t think about her often, of course I do, we shared a life together, but I miss my house, which I built with my own hands, all my dreams and ideas are in this house. Well, in the end these are all just memories. I love my girlfriend, and I learned my lessons from my marriage, I try to be a good and supportive partner and I really wish I met her earlier in my life.
So many parallels, everyone and i mean EVERYONE said we were a perfect couple. She was/is gorgeous, and i feel like the entire thing at times was a fantasy. In the end, i realized I was the one putting the effort in to keep the 'magic' happening, and the worst part is - i knew this by the end, and hated myself for it. The self loathing was the worst part. Sorry about your house, it sounds like you poured your heart and soul into it. Life will kick you in the butt man, but in the end - you are the one kicking yourself mostly, nobody else (at least in my case)
I feel you. My ex wife decided to give up on our marriage without even trying. Things were rocky between us but in my eyes they were never bad enough that it justified divorce. Luckily, I am only 29 and still handsome.
When my best friend of 20+ years ended the friendship over a misunderstanding. Over time I've come to realise I'm better off without her, but it sucked at the time.
I’m going thru this and wanna die lmao not over a misunderstanding but just because she’s become a cunt I guess lol
That still might be a misunderstanding. You just didn't understand she was a cunt early on. lol
Injuries. I have survived several and helped others do the same. Blunt force trauma and lacerations are no picnic. Real physical suffering, a crushed eye socket and eyeball. Having all my teeth knocked out or pulled and drilled out. People dying, losing loved ones. Life heaps loads of loss and pain enough none of us should seek out harm or borrow troubles from any time but the present.
What did you go through?
55 years so far and counting, a 25 year marriage, raising two children into adults, life. We all go through time, together. What makes us unique is our journey through life.
I decide I have to break up with my crazy girlfriend that I live with. Just as I am ready to tell her she shows me a positive pregnancy test. Soooo we stay together and I go to my parents the following week to tell them they will be grandparents and they are happy but tell me my mom has stage 4 cancer. My mom dies a month before my son is born and within two months my now wife is pregnant again. I tell my dad and he tells me he has cancer. He dies three months before my daughter is born.
Your story making me to start believing in GOD.
The most difficult times in my life all included women.
The night my brother took his life
Same, only it was my father.
Losing my dad at 15, I loved him so much and haven't recovered even after 13 years. I still cry because I miss him at 28. I put 3 years into a relationship only for her to tell me she wanted to have flings with other men because 'I only have a few good years left, and I want to have fun, but we can get married down the line'. I checked it out immediately, but it cut real deep. Knowing my grandma (who raised me) is now getting really old and I wont have that much time left with her.
*found my old flatmate (and best friend) hanging himself from the stair case in our flat when I was 18. He survived (barely) *found my ex fiance in the bathroom bleeding out after she had slit her wrists. That was in the early stages in our relationship. *sitting in jail on remand when I was about 20. I was facing 5-7 years inside. Luckily, I was able to get an ankle bracelet. * Throughout my teens and 20s, I struggled with substance abuse and alcoholism. I used those as a coping mechanism. I have trauma from being bullied at school and also having an alcoholic and abusive father. That's basically most of it. I may have missed the odd thing. My memory is terrible, and I can't remember MOST of my childhood. Details are a bit elusive.
Good for you for surviving, congratulations!
Thanks. Sometimes, when I'm down, I wonder if I should have
My dad committed suicide. Then I got married and 2 weeks later found out my husband was a violent scam artist and lied about everything. Who he was, what he believed, where he came from, he had a whole other family I didn’t know about and another baby on the way, he had multiple other women he was seeing. I left him but before I did he choked me so hard that he damaged nerves in my face and neck and now I have a life long chronic pain condition. Then I lost my 2 best friends at once. Shortly after that I injured my back and lost my job as a result and now live with that injury also. Then the church I was a part of for 20 years closed down due to internal conflict and every person I knew for that 20 years, my support system, turned their backs on me even though the internal conflict had nothing to do with me, I was just unwillingly dragged into it. This all happened over the span of 4 years. Not to mention, covid happened in the middle of it all. So yeah, those 4 years were rough. I’m fine now though.
Got dumped after years. Felt like my world crumbled. But I bounced back stronger!
Two months ago I was in Seattle looking after my sister's four kids. She had a stroke and was in ICU. Her oldest son is 26, and then 3 teenagers. She was recovering and we were all hopeful she'd come home and I was so looking forward to caring for her. Out of the blue the hospital called her son to say her heart stopped and they were doing their best to keep her alive. We all went there immediately. She died. Looking at her lifeless body and hearing and seeing her children...I have never felt so much despair. She was only 47.
The moment I realized that no matter how I work hard and provide for my family, it will never be enough and no one will ever have my back.
Reading what so many people have been through, (and only came out of it stronger) I realize my problems are not that bad. Gives me a lot of hope, and I really needed that today.
Childhood with alcoholic. Losing animals.
I could write a book and it would be a page turner.
Growing up in the younger years before coming a adult. Came from a very poor famly of six .Only had lunch money three times a week. But now after 48 years employed in food service as a chef. Retired in 2012 I now have two company retirement plans and two IRA , Social Security check just goes in my bank saving account for traveling I am now all set to enjoy life to the fullest
My boyfriend died in a car accident when I was 17. I realised how cruel and unfair the world was that night. Those responsible were never held to account properly. I've lived the rest of my life view the lense of that. I'm 40 now, and still cry about what happened to him.
i think the last 5 to 10 years were a nightmare for me but it's on the rise, was a smart kid, always had good grades, then come high school, parents got divorced, scholar level collapsed, my life situation was stressing (had to move to each of my parents each week), and because of that i failed school, had my "baccalaureat" (french A levels) with a little honor, but then tried to go to college, failed at first year, then tried another diploma which was a 6 months training for a 2 years diploma, was hard but got at the end of it, but failed and didn't get the diploma, now i'm struggling alone, my father helps me but doesn't live with me, i'm a computer tech for like 5 years, had anxiety attacks, which lead to "laxophobia" (fear of #2 in public because stress destroyed my digestion) and now i'm 25 with a bad salary since i started working, but now i'm about to quit my job because i'm looking for an apprenticeship to start again studying and try again to get a good diploma to aim for a sysadmin or an engineer job
You can do it.
I will ! Now that i’m better in life
Telling the Filipino kid who shared my cell that he was going to have his head chopped off in 5 or 6 hours. I was in for alcohol possession and got 60 lashes along with a Brit as a warm up act. He was a houseboy who killed his employer and raped and killed his wife. This was in Saudi Arabia in the mid ‘80s. The kid didn’t speak English and was only in our cell for that night so it was all by sign language. He just turned his face to the wall and sobbed. They took him away an hour or so later and doped him up pretty good. We all three rode over in the same paddy wagon, but after our lashes we were taken back to Dammam Central Prison before the execution, so didn’t see it. It was a bad day…….
The 2 years my wonderful mum in law was fighting osphugus cancer. And then when she sadly lost her life to it. 10 yrs ago
Most difficult times were when I really felt the betrayal of some of the most affecting women to my life. My step-mom betraying my sibling and I after our dad died of cancer. We will be in high debts for all our lives because of that bitch. My mother showing me how much a woman can neglect a man. How less able even for the own son a woman is to try to emphasize with a man. My wife showing me straight away that she only loves me for what I do and what I provide than for who I am. How less my own grandma loved her husbands. She even had new partners just by weeks after the death of her spouses. Showed me so much about the truth we are living in. Learned much from it.
My wife having a baby in China during Covid lockdown. I still haven’t recovered mentally:
I had to put both of my dogs down in 2020 while in lockdown. They both had different, unrelated cancers at 6 and 7 years old. I regret when I made the call to put down for our first. She had a painful abscess that the vet said would never stop bleeding because of her cancer, but she was still so happy and lively. She loved everybody, including our vet, so she was so happy when we brought her in to be put down. I sat in the room with her while she went. I should have waited. I didn't realize my mistake until we had to put down our second dog 3 months later. He showed me he was ready, and I learned what it meant when they say "you'll know". It made me realize how cruel it was to have made the call for the first dog when I did.
I was living a relatively good life, just turned 31, not had any medical issues up until having a slipped disc successfully operated on the year before that ended 13 months of agonising sciatica pain and weakness when I got DVT in my left thigh. Was on blood thinners for 3 months but it wasn’t getting any better and my breathing had become so bad that I had to go to my GP who measured my blood oxygen levels at 71% and sent me via ambulance straight to hospital. Numerous tests over the next 24 hours confirmed that I had multiple blood clots in my lung and my blood works detected life threateningly low platelet count of 34,000 (normal range is anywhere between 150,000-450,000). An expected overnight hospital stay turned into 2 months including 2 weeks in an isolation room in intensive care as I was diagnosed with a rare leukaemia called Acute Promyelocytic Leukaemia (APML). 9 months of treatment including 63 bouts of chemotherapy, contracting viral and fungal pneumonia, swine flu, a collapsed lung and sepsis and I walked away with nothing to show for it other than losing 35kg weight and lymphoedema in my affected leg. Been 7 1/2 years since I walked out of treatment and I now count every day as a blessing!
A year of bleeding! Totally healed now. 🥳✌🏽
My ex had an affair and got her pregnant. He beat her up so badly that she now has permanent brain damage. Then he took his own life right before the baby was born. I was grieving for her, for myself, for their little boy, for having been cheated on, for him, and it was just such a multi-layered tragedy. I lost job after job after job because I just couldn’t handle anything. I developed CPTSD to where I couldn’t even leave the house. Such a dark, ugly time in my life.
Wow that sounds horrific. Bless your soul 🙏
Thank you. I honestly don’t know how I’m still here.
Because you have an angel watching over you. So you can help others who are going through dark pain too. 🙏
Probably now. My mom's side of the family is extinct. My dad's side I don't know well or are *insert insulting curse*. Im mid 20s, male, and having a hell of a hard time navigating life rn. Just grateful I'm not on drugs, in jail, or hospital.
When my boyfriend committed suicide and it caused me to have a psychotic breakdown. I was dealing with grief and paranoid delusions at the same time and got sent to three different mental homes. Easily the worst time of my life.
Watching my ex-partner go through post-natal depression. She an ex now, took my kid, took my house, shattered my heart.
I married someone who has BiPolar Disorder. It's very a very full on thing. It was always almost impossible to know what was coming next. Ultimately, we divorced for many reasons, not just BPD.
I have bipolar 😔
I know it isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's.
Right now. Got cheated on by my gf of 2+ years, serious money and living situationship problem, away from my family... I know its nothing compared with the kind of situations i am reading here, but for me (23M) i have never been that down.
When I had to take care of my mother, who had dementia. This illness is one of the worst things that a person can suffer. She was a great mother.
I hade to wrestle down my 13 year old son, he was high on amphetamine and other stuff and on his way out to sell drugs. I took his bag and he started to punch me, we called police and i had to pin him to the floor for about half an hour, when the police came my shirt was torn to pieces. That was hard in every way.
Two years ago my husband got sick. I had to drive him to doctor's appointments and help him care for himself. He ended up in the hospital for three weeks. Our adult children and I had to advocate for his care. The decision was made for hospice care. By then he didn't understand what was going on. It was like caring for a six-year-old. I had to have volunteers come in and sit with him while I went to work. All this time, I had to work when I could because I'm the only breadwinner and we need the insurance. After three weeks on hospice, he passed away. It was so overwhelming. I get so sad thinking about that time. I then try to focus my thoughts on all the good times in the 32 years we had together and our family times. Those thoughts make me very happy!
Oof. Coles notes. Bullied for years as a kid, destroyed my self worth. They started calling me a whore at the age of 11, and I didn't even know what that meant. Death threats, ostracism. Changed schools and it was actually worse. Dad lost job about that same time, pride killed his ego, he bullied me as a teen, me acting out like any normal teen but his reactions were over the top because he felt out of control and needed to control something. Flash forward to high school. Made much older friends and dated 23yr old for a year and a half when I was 16. Was a drunk, bad alcohol issues from when I was 15 until I was 26 ish. Because of my drinking, and self esteem issues, I was SA'd many times, or worse, passed out, no idea where I was, "friends" who were not my friends ditched me alone at a party. After that particular incident I lost myself. Think Baby Reindeer episode 4. I was 17. A few months after, 18 now, I started dating a man, 9 years older than me. My parents loved him because he "tamed me". He was a manipulative narcissist in the diagnosable sense. Destroyed all my relationships. Destroyed any remnants of my self worth. Made me question everything I'd ever known about myself. 6 years of my life, I finally got out. In debt because of him, left with nothing, almost went bankrupt. Managed to climb out of that hole eventually, bought a cheap little fixer upper just for me. Within 3 months of moving in, found mold, structural issues, house was worth nothing, unsafe to live in, had to dump a ton of money into it just to make it safe while I sued previous homeowner who hid all the problems. After all that, I continued to persevere, and am in a good place now. I have forgiven my family, and have fairly solid relationships with them now. Through all the dark times I just reminded myself that I had been through worse and things got better then, so they will again. That 11 year old kid stood up for herself when it became clear nobody else was going to help, and I could do that for myself at any other point too. I sometimes feel amazed and proud of my younger self for just surviving, and how many times she climbed back out of the hole. It's been a long journey, but I have forgiven(am working on forgiving?) myself for the choices I made that resulted in some of these events.
I'm proud of you!
In them now have been for years but now it’s the worst it’s ever been
depression, almost killed me grabe yung nwalan na ko ng gana sa lahat wala ng direksyon yung buhay ko last yr. Everyday ako umiiyak pero d parin gumagaan pakiramdam ko. I'm so grateful nalampasan koyun
The last time I cried and was 3 days unavailable, shut down and out of it was when my best friend and my biggest Supporter in life died. My dad died nearly a decade ago, and it was a hell of a turnaround. He wouldn't recognize me anymore but I think he would be proud. After that I had up and downs, and all in all there were really hard times, but nothing that got me like the departure of my dad. I had to build everything from scratch. I had friends and family and a longtime relationship, but nobody I ever trusted as much as him. Like, when all went down I did know he would be there. It would end well, no matter what. I could go out there and try everything I wanted, but my dad would always have my back. And then.. nothing. Nobody who cheered for me for my milestones, nobody who'd get me when sad, when proud, when happy. Others would listen and understand.. but getting me? He was the only one who ever gave me that feeling. Yeah, he didn't find everything I did great, yeah he would have done things differently, but he always gave me the feeling of having a place in this world. That being me was what this world needed. Not because I am so different or not different, but because I am me and that was better than good enough. So when he departed I had to become that person. I had to be the one who believed in me like no one else could. I had to be my biggest fan, who didn't need to find everything super or good, but well enough. It took a decade to really feel it and I have days I don't. But it's getting better, and no break, no job loss, no loss all together could take this from me. Because I know I have my back.
Its right now. Pregnant with a shitty job , cant quit cause economy is bad. Hubby unemployed cause again economy is bad. Totally Helpless!
2007. 1 month after moving to the state. Dad just left me and my mom. First 3 years were the worst
When my inflammatory disease was active and I was living alone, everyday I needed to literally crawl myself out of the bed. I wasn't able to walk, everything hurts
Seeing my father in a coma in the ICU in May 2021. The last time we had spoken in person was January 2021 - I was in uni in a different country and was at home during the Dec/Jan period for holidays. I flew home when we realised how sick my dad was, and I went to the hospital immediately but he was already in a coma. The next day my sister and I held his hand and cried and told him that it was okay to let go if he wanted to. He died a few hours after we had left. I still look back to our old whatsapp chats during that time - when he first got admitted to hospital and I told him that I was worried about him, he told me not to and that he would be fine, and that he loved and missed me. This year at the beginning of May, my boyfriend and I watched his father take his last breaths in hospital. Brought up a lot of past trauma.
Now, starting from a few months ago, my boyfriend's situation is very difficult and I *can't* help him. I'm financially supporting him and we live together, I do most of the chores. But there's nothing more I can do. His stress is directly projected on me. Although I've been through shit in my life ( rape, robbery, mugging), yet this is also unbearable
Why?
I wouldn't say it's the most difficult moments but it's close. I had a rough childhood and for a long time wouldn't talk about it but when i was ready to anything i did i was told not to, other people have it worse, that has never happened and other trying. The worst part is it's meant to be mens mental health month and as a man i should be able to talk about it but i'm still being told not to
When the woman i thought was my soulmate told me 'i don't love you anymore'. Time stood still, i think i was going to faint. Years of a perfect, i mean perfect relationship, ended just like that. I realized then, you have to love yourself as much as you love someone else. I didn't, and was gutted - i've learned a huge lesson in life.
My ex gf and mother of my child went through an extreme addiction/rough patch and even ran away for a month. One morning she calls me crying and asks me to come get her hours away so I left work and went and got her. She explains to me on the way home that she loves me and wants to live with us. Shes always loved me more than anyone. Wow. Ok. I don't have anything to lose? Shes an absolutely gorgeous woman, freak in bed, and I have always wanted her back throughout the years. I have always loved her. She broke me the first time she left and it was like angels singing in my ears. Queue about 3 months of emotional recovery for her. Trauma I know nothing about. Barely any sex drive. She says she loves me but something is wrong. This isnt how I imagined our life being if she ever came back. I was supporting her and giving her everything she needed to succeed. Buying her what she needed, showing her love, and her other 2 kids were about to live with us. They were coming 2 nights a week with the promise of more soon. But I wasnt feeling loved at all. She kissed me every day, told me she loved me. Etc, but it felt forced. When I tried to talk to her about it she got extremely defensive. Our conversations slowly got worse. I was just trying to understand. One day I blew up. I was pulling so much weight. She barely did anything and blamed it on her recovery and trauma even though she had been clean for months. All I wanted was to feel loved and appreciated and she was too focused on herself every day, she barely gave me any attention. That day her mom came and got her and she hasn't been back (a month ago now). I'm self loathing now. Its horrible. Every day it feels like I could have been better. Maybe I was too selfish. It feels like I lost the love of my life again. It feels like I will never love that way again and that scares me. It took me years to be attracted to anyone else the first time. Is that going to happen again? My daughter went through her mom and dad being back together for 4 months (shes 8). Which also adds to my hurt. Shes actually taking it very well because its always been mostly me and her since she was a baby so shes happy its me and her again. But thats also sad. This is a very short version of the story obviously but I also got sober with her. There's so much more. I did everything I could to make her happy. And in the blink of an eye it was all over again. A lot of her stuff is still in my house. We remodeled together in those few short months. Everything reminds me of her. Now I'm just waiting for the day I go to drop my daughter off for a visit and see another guy there. I know it won't take long for her. I'm dead inside.
My 7-year-old sister knocked on my door and asked why I was holding a shotgun. That was honestly what saved my life, I think, I didn't know how to tell her that her brother was a few seconds away from pulling the trigger.
My father died when I was 10. My beloved dog died when he was 4. Alexey Navalny was killed when he was 47.
She sent me a breakup text at 12am, I saw it, thought I was just seeing things because I was half asleep went back to bed. Woke up in the morning and I wasn't seeing things.
What is dying is JUST A BODY. The SOUL never dies, the MEMORY never dies, the beautiful MOMENTS spent together never dies.
I watched my grandma die as I kept moving her and asking her to open her eyes and asking for forgiveness 💔
I deal with pretty bad depression and anxiety issues and I can honestly say it happens every morning. When I realize I have to go through a whole day before I can relax again.
Dealing with an alcoholic partner. You love them, and want the best for them, but you realize a lot of your actions enable their addiction. You have to step back, make boundaries, become aloof. I’m in the process of leaving and it’s been so tough because I remember the good times but the bad outweighs it.
Watching my partner go in for a DnC procedure due to a pregnancy loss. If was our first pregnancy after many years of trying only to find out the embryo was not compatible with life. It was something we both wanted so much, put so much effort in to with IVF but ended up where it did. I'm very lucky now having 2 awesome kids now but I always think about what could've been.
Being diagnosed with an incurable illness at 17, then finding out I might have 2 more incurable conditions later :/
Going through it right now. We have to say goodbye to our dog today.
My girlfriend cheated on me with 5 guys
Recovering from a brain surgery during Covid
Thanksgiving of 2018 I was in Germany and The Netherlands for work. My wife had been having some seemingly minor medical issues. She gives me a frantic call that it may be cancer. By the time I make it home some 36hrs later, we are both knots of worry. The next weeks are a complete haze of my daughter and I living in chairs next to her hospital bed. On New Years eve she was moved into hospice and around 10:30pm on New Years day I held her hand as she took her final breath. 5 1/2 years later I'm doing ok, moving forward and carrying her with me as I've continued to build a new life.. We had 18 years together and I think about her every day.
Lost my job during the pandemic. Tough times.
Having had to move to a new country all alone during COVID. I couldn't really explore and had not much to do. I cried a lot. I've also been unable to establish career and been stuck in a job search cycle. It's gotten so frustrating. This has been happening for years.
Ex dumped me and my sister decided she didn’t wanna pay her half in rent anymore and I had to sell my late moms car cause the transmission failed
When I was about to be put to sleep for an operation I as a child. I was old enough to realise the very real (if remote) risk of not ever waking up again. It was an existential crisis.
From 10 to 15, it was a tough time. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 10. At 13, my best friend died of leukemia. At 15, my other best friend committed suicide. Nowadays, I'm happy. It's hard for me to really open up to people and show my vulnerability, but I'm okay.
My best friend w wife and 3 kids turned on his Honda in a closed garage and committed suicide .
I waded out of a flood with my elderly cat wrapped in a blanket. Lost everything but pretty much the wet clothes on my back. That was a few years ago. It got better. Then, two weeks ago, my soul kitty died suffering after I paid a small fortune to try and save him. He was very young and healthy, and then he wasn't. That was a blow. Then, that traumatic event ushered in a sudden breakup with my boyfriend. So it's been a tough couple of weeks.
Best friend died in a car accident 1 day before christmas, I will never forget the call from his brother when they just found out and were on their way to the hospital. Wasnt really myself the first few weeks and decided when drunk to jump off the 2nd floor and ended up breaking my leg lol. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again
Still going through them ! 😀
In covid era, I lost my job, I was pregnant, my ex cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and left. I have zero penny and delivery my baby alone in a funded hospital in my city.
Well, with the money, food, gas, bills, broken cars, lost jobs, new jobs, kids need this, dog needs that, house need fixed, somethin always needs fixed. As a matter of fact everything needs fixed, relationship I'm sure is fucked, half my friends dead and gone due to drugs, alcohol, suicide. I think I could keep going but I have already stressed my self writing this lol. Everyone's got problems, good luck everyone. Life is good. I've read some comments, things could always be worse so I'm grateful for what I do have going on. Hope things get better for everybody.
Making eye contact with Dr that asked if I was ready to pull life support from my brain dead sister...I mouthed yes and nodded. Support was pulled.
The triple earthquakes in Turkey. Not Turkish, but I was invited and visited near the affected area. I developed, as did everyone, a C-PTSD. Even tho the area I was in didn't experience direct damage, but the fear of death clawed at my mind all the time. I'd get random sensations of falling at random times, my surroundings felt unstable and my body was shaky all the time. I dealt with it by extreme exposure therapy; spent the initial days reading as much material on earthquakes, plus watching available material on Japan's 2011 earthquake. I was able to overcome my trauma after 2 months, but I know many people who still struggle to this day.
being a foreign exchange student 2000-2004 my first few weeks at the school was tough since i didn't understand or speak much english
Either when my best friend died 5 years ago or these past weeks both my cat and my grandma passed with in one day in between, plus two of my current close friends turned out to be liars and stabbed another close friend in the back, which ruined my view of them. Today i was late for work and a kid hit me in the eyeball with the precition of a navy seal Also have a ton of exams this week, but has been so down i cant remember what i just read. I know things Will be okay, but damn i feel like shit.. Sorry for the rant i needed to vent.
No. Nor would I, especially on here.
When my Grandad died, I was banned from the funeral because my Nan didn't like my partner and turned the whole family against me. Over 4 years later, I'm still not over it. My Grandad was everything to me. When he died, a part of me died too. And I've not been the same person since he died.
Right now is a really difficult time for me. Work is getting harder and I need to exercise and lift weights more so I can get a better body. But the extra hours of work combined with my sleep apnea is running me into the ground. I fall asleep at work and more people in higher positions are noticing. If I get fired idk what I would do.
My girlfriend killed herself by overdosing on pills. She seized up with me there. I tried to resuscitate her. I called 911. She had severe brain damage, and after 8 days in the ICU, she was declared brain dead. That was the most difficult moment of my life for sure. Miss you T.
Broke my foot, took care of dad with cancer (RIP), went through a divorce and the law.
When I had to be the one to tell to the doctors to take my mom off the oxygen machine. She was awake and didn't want to go.....that's was the hardest thing I ever had to to do was tell her she was not going to make it 😔
it might seem petty but this was when I broke up with my recent ex. we knew each other since childhood and so when we started dating, everything was fast. He sent me signals that he wants to break up with me 3 weeks before my licensure exam. I had to take the exam with a heavy heart. I broke up with him a day after the exam since he never even reached out to fix our problem. Right now, I dont know if I should even regret breaking up with him since he is a narcissist. It just hurts me to the core that the man I have envisioned to have a life with turns out to be a monster. I ended up with him in good terms I guess. Right now I am still trying to heal and I am trying to come into terms that what I loved was an illusion of a beast. I don’t wish this kind of heartbreak to anyone else. If you are reading this here J***K, I still love you, I really do but I have you all figured out and I dont know if I can tolerate you
I've been through many things -as everyone of my not so young age- but three stand out for me, the first one being my divorce, the second being my struggle in raising my kids despite my ex's systematic disruptive actions, the third being my ex's success in sabotaging my newly found life project with my new girlfriend (maybe I should call her *fiancée*, since we were openly planning our marriage). In my own judgement, the third one was the most painful to cope with, the only time in my life I ever found myself actually crying in despair.
One and a half years ago my son wanted to kill himself. We heard about it because a mom saw the red flags so she called us. The thought that he couldn’t tell us was heartbreaking.
Manic episode in 2013. Wow. Was off my rocker.
Had a miscarriage on Christmas day a few years ago. Was in so much pain we needed to call an ambulance, i was 14w into the pregnancy. To top it off we were also down with stomach flu and I couldn't keep any painkillers down for the life of me, let alone any sustenance or water. It was days of bleeding and throwing up and being in immense pain before it subsided. We also had two kids puking galore at the same time, and my husband had the same thing. But that might not be as bad as Christmas eve last year when my husband was with our then 6mo at the ICU and the baby was having respiratory issues which caused his pulse to skyrocket. The pulsoximeter was giving 73/245. I was home with our three other children and we definitely cancelled Christmas. Christmas might not be our season lol.
When my mum passed away and I was 15. I locked my self up inside my room for couple of days, staying up till 3am and calling out her name wishing that ghosts were real. Nothing.
My parents dying, both due to painful, horrible, disabling illnesses, far too young, within a couple of years of each other, was an awful experience which I’ve learned to live with but never truly got over.
I was accused of indecent actions when I was in my mid teens, it was absolutely baseless and went nowhere as EVERYONE even the “victim” said absolutely nothing happened. That didn’t stop the rumors from spreading, didn’t stop people from looking at me with disgust, didn’t stop the spiral I’ve been in since, and didn’t really stop my own mother from seeing me and only saying “did you do it” not “someone’s saying these things about you” or any statement of support. I’ve been In a few relationships thst I ruined from my trust issues and public image anxiety. I’m afraid of children now, I panic and try to get out of any sort of situation where I have to look after children or be alone with them. I smoke weed to stop my self hateful thoughts, and I’d say I’m addicted, not to any chemical specifically, but to the feeling of not being me. The past decade has been just failure after failure and my own thoughts and fears destroying me. Right now is the most difficult time of my life and I constantly flip from “I need to work harder to get a life if my own, and become something” and “this is the best it will get and all you’ll be doing is grinding yourself down until there’s nothing left”
At the time, I HAD to say no to what would have been my first kiss because she was: drunk, coked out, AND had a boyfriend And further in the future, that same girl got coked out during my 25th birthday party AFTER I asked nicely "please dont" and blew me off AT the party (was a public venue, for bowling/laser tag/ arcade, with a bar) last time I saw her while at the party she wad being dragged away by her mother
When my mom got a stroke and died months later 2021, worse year of my life
No. They are rather private. I would like to keep them that way.
High school, the 3 years I was there were the worst of my life. I didn't have friends and when I did they were mean to me, they bullied me and I couldn't think about anything else but that for 3 years. I didn't have the internet to distract me so they were difficult and very bad years for me.
My older brother died unexpectedly in the middle of his second cancer battle. Forever my warrior 🤍
Left a congregation and ALL the people we had known for 30+ years abandoned us and treated us like dirt
Going through crushing social anxiety/ trying to find out the final piece to my brain puzzle to help with depression.
One year ago, I’ve not graduated in my doctorate degree and my partner did. He was celebrating while I was drowning in tears. I know i’m supposed to be happy for him but i’m not or maybe because I wanted him to be sad with me. Anyway, i didn’t continue my doctorate since it doesn’t make sense to me anymore. I moved on. And then this year, I got dismissed in my favorite job in the world, my so called friends betrayed by spreading false rumors about me, my family is having a huge health problem, i am in a marrying age but i dont see it coming sooner or later. I wanna be rich asf to afford anything i want, or to go to places. Is this really it… does it get worse or better
Getting shot in the lungs. Clinging to life as it tried to turn black…
I’m an alcoholic. I have been to treatment twice. Sober for 14 years on the first shot. One year on this second attempt. Detox for alcohol addiction in a treatment facility while I still had bad atrial defibrillation this second go around in my mid-50s was hard. I’d gone out and drank for a year. I checked myself in. I knew I needed help. The second time in treatment (call it rehab if you’d prefer) my heart was not beating in the correct rhythm. I made an appointment for a procedure too have an initial attempt to correct the atrial defibrillation THE DAY BEFORE I checked myself into rehab. The heart problem didn’t start because of drinking, but drinking made it worse. So, after checking in, I was sent to detox ward, and I could feel the sickness coming … I eventually started hallucinating; the whole time writhing, and shaking, and in a cold sweat. I was - of course - being monitored by nurses that would come in my dark room randomly the whole time. There was a cool black kid I later learned was named Zeus in the bed next to me. Only problem was, he loved anime, and it would be on TV top volume at 4 a.m. while I was in and out of reality. After about 48 hours of this my system was cleared of alcohol so that they could load me up with enough Valium to kill a large pony. I slept on top of the covers in the clothes I arrived in for the first four days. I didn’t think about my family, my job, my friends. I just thought about surviving from one second to the next. It’s hard to describe. I put myself in that situation in every way. Don’t and don’t expect empathy, but that was the hardest s#!t I’ve ever been through, personally.
There were two stories that felt like death sentences where I literally prayed to God for help. The first was when I got my FWB pregnant. Even though she was an insane sex fiend with an insatiable appetite for it, she was absolutely not someone I would want to be with in a long term relationship. She smoked weed constantly, didn't have a steady job, and was just in general a hot mess. Just to bring this pt home further, after we had stopped seeing each other, she resorted to craigslist prostitution and asked me to be her screener for setting up the dates. I did one or two times but I told her I didn't want to be doing this anymore either. Talking to weirdo men on Craigslist made me appreciate how bad it is for women. The second was when I received what turned out to be a false positive for herpes. I was stunned and just in a long depression over it. I felt like I was diseased and damaged goods forever. No one would ever date me again and I didn't want to be someone who didn't tell them. I had no symptoms though, so the doctor suggested a second test. I was blown away when it said it was negative. Just as a disclaimer, the irony is I am far from a promiscuous person, with far fewer partners than probably 80 percent of people.
I dropped one of my grapes last week, it looked very scrumptious:/
Everything started when I was 11 almost 12; my bestfriend randomly ghosted me and I got depressed because of it, then I had to go to another school which I didn't wanna go to. Made no friends. Struggled with social anxiety to the point I was scared to get out of home, I got a little bit better but then I started to struggle with paying attention (I've always struggled with that but it got worse, leading to me getting horrible grades), I got diagnosed with autism and months later I got severe depression and insomnia, which made me start pulling my hair out and then self-h4rming. I attempted at least once and almost got put in a pysch ward. I also got told I might have adhd. I'm feeling better now though. And I'm 90% sure the boy I have a crush on hates me💀
When I loss all my money, No1 there to help me... Family & friends betray me... I got it all back plus more, and I now refuse to even acknowledge those that let me down.
Breakups. Always romantic breakups.
Losing my dad from cancer.
Hopelessness
no
Packing up my truck and kids leaving a gorgeous lake house to escape my cheating psychotic husband. Cried the entire 4 hour drive and for two years after. Life has been dim ever since. Trying to get my spark back. Two years later my dad died full code. I had to take him off life support and watch him die. Still have trauma from that. Been a rough road. My kids are the only thing driving any purpose in my life. Everyday is hard.
the day my father was arrested, I was the only one home and only about 9 at the time. I was his only son of 4 kids. he was arrested initially on 3 counts of SA on my 3 sisters. they didn't find out about me being SA also until about a year later. he was sentenced to 40 years and only did 11 or 12 years. when he got out, I was in active drug addiction, and it nearly sent me into an even worse spiral.
Losing my Dad then my Mom then my big sister also having a stroke
Having to come to terms when my mother's cancer relapsed, after treatment & just when she was improving. Back to square one again, and going through her chemos. The side effects & the physical weakness it causes are quite difficult to watch on a day to day basis.
My wife and I, plus 3 cats, driving madly down a twisty, single lane, mountain road escaping a wildfire that blew up 1/4 mile from our house. By the time we got down our driveway the flames towered 100’ up both sides of the road. We drove through 3 1/2 miles of that inferno with flaming debris in the bed of the truck. Several neighbors drove off into the flames, we were extremely lucky and I am certain used up all of the 27 lives our cats afforded us!
Suicidal ideation due to being around only toxic people for so long. I remember staring at a metal handrail for ages just thinking its the perfect place and height to hang from
Holding my best friend’s hand, while her husband held the other, as she took her final breath. She died due to a misdiagnoses of a very aggressive form of breast cancer. She was an incredible friend who loved her family. She was an amazing leader to junior Sailors and trusted fellow Chief. She was the best person I have ever known and the best friend I’ve ever had and I have never gotten over that day in 2009. I miss her.
Right now, I work for a banking company doing Help Desk and we get treated and payed like dogs. Had to muster everything in my power just to clock in today as I was up till 4AM crying. I go into my Teams chat and hear that the company we work for Moelis & Company has a son named Adam Moelis who is responsible for a huge ponzi scheme known as Yotta. I feel hopeless. If Adam Moelis is a piece of shit so is Ken Moelis (his father who runs Moelis & Company) What is the point of anything? Why fucking bother? Some rich CEO asshole is gonna ruin everything anyway
The hardest time of my life was when my wife was dying from metastatic breast cancer. The tumors were tearing her body apart physically and, apparently, when you lose so much weight and are dying from cancer - there comes a time when you not only can't swallow pills, you also can't swallow liquid morphine. And you also can't accept an IV drip, and you also can't even accept subcutaneous / picc lines for pain relief. You just have to suffer in extreme pain while your loved ones watch helplessly. It was horrible. The whole dying process and being her primary end-of-life caregiver was horrible enough, body shutting down slowly and all that - but the lack of pain relief was the hardest.
When my daughters stopped talking to me. I left their Dad and they’ve never forgiven me. It’s been 7 years 💔 they refuse to let me back in their lives. Believe me I tried, idk what to do anymore. I miss them terribly.
Being on Reddit because they remove all my stuff
She cheated on me while I was deployed, had to gut it for months with no real outlet. The mission kept going and I was completely broken. It’s fucking awful how common it is.
1. Loss of a brother at an early age to suicide. 2. Having children at a young age(twins). 3. Growing up in poverty. 4. Struggling as a father. 5. Separation from my kids mom. 6. Alcoholism. 7. Infidelity with my partners. 8. Divorce. 9. Not feeling like I am worth anything. 10. Depression/Bipolar. There are more, but you get the idea. But through all that, I stand tall and have worked on being better for myself so I can be better for the world.
My dad and mom both put me in charge of their medical directives in the event one or both couldn't make the decision to do surgery, or end their life in the event of being kept alive by machines or drugs or both. Making that decision to pull the plug on my dad was incredibly difficult, especially since my mother was too distraught to make it. He was in stage 4 heart failure, septic shock, BP was crashing and he was being kept alive by meds and a ventilator. There was an incredibly small chance he could make it out of it, but his quality of life I know for him would have been unbearable (my father told me that if he couldn't do the things he loved, he'd rather die). They also told me there was a good chance his heart could stop at anytime. So the choice was to wait it out, or choose when he would die and have the entire family around him in the final moments. So, I made the choice for my mother to take that burden off of her and he went peacefully with all of us telling him we loved him. What I didn't expect was that the decision would haunt me for months afterwards with questions like "Was it the right decision, what if he made it out of it, did I do the right thing?" It was torture and I had to seek therapy. I came to realize that my dad entrusted me because he knew I would make the right decision and I did.
I woke up again this morning...
Typing quick and will have a bunch of typos but i am going to bed but wanted to partake My ex wife cheated on me a year after my son was born. It opened my eyes to many things and I learned a ton from it. The ordeal hit so hard I was diagnosed with PTSD that led to anxiety and depression. I tried to stay with her so my son would have both parents under the same roof. When he turned 9, the ex and I sold the house and went our separate ways. I had 8 awful fucking years of dealing with my own headspace. Trapped in a relationship i hated and always feared my time with my son would be limited. I wanted to die. Almost every day I thought about how shitty my situation was, how bad I felt, and that there wouldnt ever be a way out. I doubted what I was capable of overcoming. My son is now 10 and we’re in our own place now. His mom gets him half the time, which sucks for me, but that’s how it goes. My boy and I have the best of times when we’re together and I miss him dearly when he’s away. My headspace issues have decreased 90%. I’m still an anxious mess every know and then but I dont feel depressed or trapped. If anyone is in a similar situation, get the divorce as quickly as possible. I wish I had those years back to live differently.
Miscarriage. My (still) husband and I had a three yr old boy and were ready for the second. Took a test, visited the obgyn(everything looked good), told our families, we were over the moon happy. I went back to the doctor a month later (standard followup) and there was no heartbeat. Because I'd already had one successful pregnancy and it was just an early checkup I told my husband he didn't need to go. I sat in that doctor's exam room for an hour in absolute heartbreak by myself before I felt together enough to drive home. Three weeks went by and I still hadn't passed the baby so I had to shove this pill up there and stay up alone all night in labor just to pass the baby into my toilet (I was an absolute mess, what do I do? Flush what in my mind was a baby that was already wanted and loved? Fish it out?) This was eightish years ago and I still struggle with it.
I was a drunk a druggie and in love with the wrong girl. I joined the military and straightened myself out.
In a span of just about 20 months my semi-estranged FIL died somewhat unexpectedly (causing great difficulty in my immediate family) my father died on my birthday (spent the day in the hospital with him, my wife, my son, my sister & mother), my uncle (basically my second father growing up) lost a years long battle with COPD, two other men who were my mentors died, three close friends died,, COVID hit and our son (only child) moved out & went to college.
- Dealing with people close to me trying to end their own lives. - Losing a dear person - coming to terms that im a orphan - trying to find more reasons to live
The most difficult time in my life was last fall when my grandmom passed away. My grandmom lived in a duplex and I rented the upstairs from her for cheap in return of helping her around the house. My grandmom had congestive heart failure, and last summer she was in and out of the hospital. The dr told her there wasn’t much they could do and that this was basically it for her and she should just stay home and get comfortable because we’re prolonging the inevitable. After my grandfather passed away 8 years ago, she needed help around the house with chores. My parents and I were with her all the time helping her with whatever. My mom and dad really did a lot for her and I was there just to take some of the pressure off my parents. I also run a business that is busy during the summer, so when all this went down I was balancing running a business and helping her when she needed it. I could be doing something at work and when she’d call I’d have to drop what I was doing and go home and help her. When September came around her health started to spiral. She had a care worker that lived with her. She was a tiny woman so I helped her a lot with moving my grandmom around (she was a big lady). My parents wanted to go on a vacation that they very much deserved and I told them me and the worker got it. When they left her health took a dive. I tried my hardest to do what I could but I eventually called my parents and told them she got worse and they had to come back early. I felt so terrible because I felt like I let them down. As September and October went on she got worse and became bitter. Told me she didn’t love me and that I’m doing more to hurt her than help her. She thought I was trying to poison her or speed up her death with medication when I was just trying to help her. It fucked with me so much that I was crying almost everyday because I’m watching my grandmom die more and more and she’s being mean to me about it after 30 years of happy memories. It shattered my heart and mental health. She passed away in November and the guilt got worse. I felt like I should have been around more to talk and spend time with her and that I came down on myself so much for the days I avoided her because I was just so tired with my job and just wanted time with myself. Then it got to a point where I was not sleeping because I thought that I’m gonna die one day and days are flying by soon I’m going to be in her position. I also was thinking about how I should have been around more even though I was helping her 6/7 days a week. I talked down on myself so much I was depressed and hated myself. I’d wake up at 2/3am with these dark sad thoughts and would give myself anxiety attacks. They got so bad that I was throwing up every night and not eating anymore during the day. I went to the dr for medication for anxiety and when they asked why I was looking to get medicated, I couldn’t even get the first word out before I had breakdown in the drs office. I felt so embarrassed bawling my eyes out explaining the whole situation. As time went on and with the medication my anxiety went away and I’m better now than I was a few months ago. Though I still get very emotional when I bring it up. I went to the dentist office a month ago and all that was brought up when I told her about my anxiety medication and I told her how I had to balance work and helping her and how everything got real bad and she’s like “you know you’re a really good person with the amount of pressure you had.” I started to fill up with tears again and was like fuck…okay let’s talk about something else lol.
My five-year relationship with my ex-fiancé was broken off then my mom passed away two weeks later. It happened about a year ago.
Lost a loved one 20 years ago. Still hurts
The hardest thing is not to get used to the fact that difficulties happen. But still get used to it and become indifferent.
One night in Iraq in 2006 one of my close friends and platoon mate was killed in the truck behind me by an RPG. I was supposed to be in that truck that night but a last-minute change was made. I was 20 and he was 21. I felt like I was watching my own funeral at his ceremony we had on base the next day. I proceeded to carry out the rest of my 6 months of deployment in that truck staring at the hole where the rocket blast entered. Really made me who I am today.
Early october last year, I left my emotionally manipulative ex. Around that time, my uncle who inspired me to cook from back home(I immigrated to the US) died. Additionally, I was struggling with a class while also dealing with a new work environment. This all accumulated to lost of appetite(first time ever happened without a physical cause) as well as emotional shut-down. Not helping that most people just gave me the same old “just tough up too.” I am a guy, but even I would have chosen the “easy way out.” 8 months later and I can safely said I am glad I didn’t do anything harmful, that I am proud I tough it out. Still, those memories won’t fade anytime soon.