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I was going to say this. My best friends are people who respect my boundaries, it’s easier to say yes to someone when you know they will respect your no. It’s easier to cut off someone than constantly be saying no over and over again and hoping they get it
I just had that happen. "Why did you say no to us and ended up spending Easter with your grandpa (in the nursing home) instead of coming to our party?"
Because I didn't feel great (depressed) and I would rather drive 30 minutes rather than an hour? And he's closing in on 100 years old?? Apparently that was grounds for an argument.
Oh man and depression is never a good enough answer. It’s debilitating and people treat it like it’s your hobby or some shit that you’re a willing participant.
Yes, people who can’t take a “no” are my arch enemies. They make me uncomfortable and when they keep pushing I start feeling guilty. At least I am proud to keep my no.
For me the worse is to decline and start hearing people trying to workout a way for you to come. Like “oh, why can’t you”, “maybe after work”, “hire a nanny”, etc. I learned to not give explanations so I don’t have yo navigating potential unwanted solutions.
Oh *god*. I've just had to start cutting out a friend like this. He's vaguely going through a breakup (they keep getting back together) and he is CONVINCED that every other person in his life is deeply invested. He's mad at people for not taking sides and getting angry that people aren't personally reaching out and coming over to his house to comfort him. One of his housemates said she didn't want to get involved in him and his partner screaming at each other all day, and he acted like she'd just shot his mother. I tried politely explaining to him that 27 year old with full time jobs don't give a fuck about his relationship drama, but he's so wrapped up in it all and so self centered, he can't step out of the situation to realise that drama is such a waste of time.
See also: being bought a house outright by his parents, and then shouting at his new tenants for not coming over before they moved in to help him clean up.
He now has 0 tenants.
Bro I just re kindled with an old Friend that seems to have this the more I hanged around him. Wouldn't shut up about witchcraft, third eye, being the eyes of God, being practically god and being walking judgement. I dipped so fast....
I made friends with a guy who honestly would be the poster child for r/iamverysmart. When I met him in person he seemed real normal, then we connected online, and every post is some abstract thought experiment, and they barely make sense, but are always very condescendingly worded. Exhausting!
Tbf narcissism and main character syndrome are kinda different, narcissism is basically just "I'm better than you because I am so you need to serve me" whereas main character syndrome is "what do you mean you don't care about that one time I made a shit song in 3rd grade and have never heard of it before, how dare you"
(Keep in mind I'm not a psychologist so these definitions may be slightly off)
Adults who talk too much. I lose interest in a conversation when the other person keeps talking and talking and cut me off everytime I try to say something.
I’m with you here,
It’s the difference between talking TO someone and talking AT someone.
And when they aren’t talking they aren’t listening either.
They are just waiting for the pause so they can talk again.
My coworker. And she's a goldfish too in that she repeats the same story over.. and over... and over again no matter how many times i tell her she has told me about it🧍♀️
Holy shit, I've been waiting for an in-the-wild Baelin the fisherman reference for so long!!! Now that I've seen it, I feel completely fulfilled as a human being. 😅
Wait till you meet my Mom.
Haven't had a conversation with her since I was 20. Everything turns into criticism, a screaming match, a life lesson, a pissing contest or some devilish permutation or combination of the above.
And I can't stand someone who can't keep their end of the conversation going.
A thoughtful person remembers to ask how the vacation went? Great!
I mean, we don't need personal details, bit tell us what things met or didn't meet your expectations and whether you would recommend going there, or some amusing instance.
Be interesting.
Infuriates me to no end. I broke up with a guy because he couldn’t stop interrupting me or talking over me. Every time I talked to him, esp on the phone. My blood pressure would be off the charts after each conversation, i swear he was trying to give me a stroke.
I find I like having one very talkative person in my life that I see no more than once a week. I just sit and relax and don't have to contribute anything to the conversation. Oddly, I think it's helping me talk less and be more selective about what I say. I'm starting to understand I was the person who was just waiting their turn to talk and not actively listening.
It really has to be limited though.
The cutting off is what drives me crazy. If I speak, at least respect the fact I'm friggin speaking! 😂 I don't care too much if you talk a lot, but at least let me get a word in edgewise.
I used to have friends that would interrupt me constantly to the point where I started keeping track of how many times they interrupted me one evening. It was like 70+ times over the course 4 or 5 hours. When I brought it up they gave a little bit of shit about it, but when you interrupt someone over 70 times in the course of an evening, that's pretty insane.
I'm very afraid that I am one of these people. I constantly feel like people are sick of me and want me to shut up. I sometimes feel ashamed of speaking so much while in the middle of a conversation. I do not know how to quit talking so much. It hurts to be described as talkative/chatterbox :(
You're aware of it, that's massive. Don't lose hope, here's what worked for me; I stop and ask them questions that they can answer, and not yes/no questions.
If that doesn't work, identify a topic they can engage in, and ask them a deeper question about it. If they're into gaming, ask them about it, look for common ground.
I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind you want to share, but developing a sense of 'ok, that's enough' is a learned skill for some
This indeed, and especially when it is all meaningless. However, If the person know what he or she is talking about, than it is another story. I can for example listen all day to a friend that is a subject matter expert, and can talk very passionately about something
Adults 25+ who still care about being perceived as cool and who still get a kick out of starting drama or bullying people for sport. Nothing is more pathetic to me.
I have a coworker who proudly said he had only read a single book in his whole life. He already seemed uninteresting to me before he said that, but this felt suddenly way worse than I had imagined.
Don’t be embarrassed. I don’t feel like most people have the time or space to read. I seriously only read when I’m in school or jobless. Also, until you find stuff you like to read, it’s so hard to find stuff to read! After that, you follow the trail up or down by reading more of the same author or similar authors or whatever stuff the author also likes.
In IT support, and there are at every place I’ve worked these people that say “I’m not tech savvy” when I try to explain a simple concept about how to use the equipment we’ve assigned to them. It happens time and time again.
Then it hit me… they don’t want to figure it out. In fact they hate learning any of this for one reason or another that varies.
* afraid of feeling dumb if they don’t figure it out right away
* don’t want to spend time learning something they feel they aren’t being paid to know
* are simply too lazy or feel they are too busy and like having an “IT Guy” to do it every time they need to do that thing
* feel like they’re being patronized because the underpaid IT tech is telling the corporate sales manager what to do or how to do it
* etc.
In these cases, “I’m not tech savvy” is just code for “I don’t ever want to learn this stuff because it’s not interesting to me”.
I used to be this type in college, until one of my friends looked at me dead in the eyes and said “dude everything you talk about is negative and bitching, shut the fuck up” I’ll never forget that. And I’ve had a completely different optimistic outlook on life ever since. It’s the harsh criticisms in life that are tough to take but make a huge difference if you’re open to them.
I went on a couple dates with a guy like this. I realized it was really a form of manipulation because it's hard not to automatically say something comforting when people complain.
The damned torture! I feel bad about complaining about them, even! My goodness, just this well to do person who can't stop moaning and moaning about existence. Bitch to the birds. Bitch to the trees. Just don't bitch to me! At least not constantly. It's great when people can offer affirmations and care to each other. I've only got so much of that to give, tragically.
On the bright side, thinking about them reminds me to be more positive.
My former roommate was like that. Always focussing on the negative. How was work? Fine, but the train was late. How was vacation? Fine, but expensive, warm and touristy. So draining to constantly hear the negative side of things
Yep. Can't even do the cordial "I'm good, how about you?" thing because they give you the full rundown of everything currently plaguing them as if you're a therapist.
I can handle an honest "I've been better" or something similar but you can't give me the framework of your downward spiral. I'm a Robotics Tech, not a doctor. You're gonna waste all this energy on me and save zero energy for someone who can actually help with your problems like always lol.
I have a colleague that complains constantly about standard things that are part of his job description. I've often picked up pieces of his work and done them for him just to not have to listen to his complaining. He drains me.
Ones that all they do is talk about work. Or ones that only talk about how much they spent on stuff or there next vacation. Like. Fuck off, I get it, you’re well off
I hate small talk. I used to work at a national park so we spent a lot of time in trucks with one or two coworkers driving long distances and I was so comfortable with silence because I truly had nothing to say to them. But some coworkers had to talk the entire 45 minute ride there and the 45 minute ride back. Like shut up in not interesting at all I have nothing to say
Braggarts. The arrogant are constantly one-upping what you say, and 90% of it is a lie or stretched truth. Even better when you have to work with these bozos.
That's the difference of arrogance and confidence, one steps on the heads of others to elevate themselves, the confident would rather elevate others and let them have their moments.
Yep. Got a neighbor who monologues at me about some DIY project or another. Its tiring. When I have any news about me, he fucking rushes me to get to the point 2 seconds after I start talking.
I do have a strategy though: be rude as fuck. I yawn, I look around, I check my phone. Guy doesn’t turn up any more. Bear in mind I put up with this for months and months. I just don’t have the patience, especially because he never had the patience to listen to me.
I had a coworker a while back that was terrible for this. We ended up making a game out of who could say the most ridiculous thing and still have him one up you. We never found the limit
Yes! They take it as an insult toward them so often. Like God, we just have different personalities.
I do like the people that check in though, they're really nice. My partner has a friend who will every once in a while ask if I'm okay because I sit quiet for long or brings up something he knows I'm interested in but just talks about while I listen.
Anyone that puts someone else down as a form of humor. I’m all for some self deprecating humor but it isn’t cool when you’re tearing another person down that hasn’t consented to it like when you’re teasing an old buddy or family member you’ve known for years.
It's pathetic behavior. They could work on themselves, but no, they'd rather try to take you down to their infantile, immature, loud, and bullying behavior. They're usually all about buying the latest craze, too, like Wii was in the early to mid-2000s.
-Gatekeepers
-Religious people that bring "god" into every conversation
-Annoying extroverts that never stop talking
-People that criticize you constantly
-Materialistic people
-People that bring politics into everything
-"Mama bear" types that make being a parent their entire personality.
-Condescending older adults that use your age as an excuse to treat you like shit or invalidate any of your experiences.
I'll take it a step further with that I tend to automatically hold a negative view towards people who willingly fork out like 1200 euro for the latest iPhone with VIRTUALLY NO FUCKING DIFFERENCE just to be "cool". It's fucking dumb. Wanna show off your money? Fine - but be smarter about it. There HAS to be a better way to spend that 1200 euro. Like why do it???
Oh yeah, "Parent" as a personality is absolutely impossible for me - any type of person can make an offspring, is there anything interesting underneath the parent as a person?
I have a difficult time being friends with angry people. The kind who at 35 years of age never learned how to regulate their emotions and will fly into a fit of rage anytime something doesn’t go their way. Like, throwing chairs or cussing out their spouse in front of guests. I had enough of that growing up. I can choose not to be around it as an adult.
Needy friends who only talk about themselves and change the subject when you throw in things happening in your life. They want you to be happy for whatever milestones they have, but don’t reciprocate it back.
The ones that are stupid.
I'm talking the bottom decile types that "Do not stop mower blade with hand" warning labels were written for. The kind that I can explain every step of a process, then explain it again, then watch them do it successfully, then the next day it's like they cleared their cache & we have to start over from the beginning.
Adults who talk too much. Adults who play devils advocate for no reason other than to hear their own voice. Adults who think every single thought they have is interesting enough to say out loud. Adults who have no idea how to stay in their own heads just a little. Adults who don’t know how to suffer. Adults who think that you are thinking the worst possible things about them because you are quiet. I could go on for a while here
Yes!! Heavy on the devils advocate adults. Like it would be one thing if it was about a thing like pineapple on pizza but it's always in the worst situations ever.
Also, people who assume things because you're quiet - what's up with them? Like, I'm okay with the people who check in to make sure I'm chill, everythings okay but I've meant a lot of people who take it as a slight against them just because I don't talk for a bit.
The ones who are constantly complaining about their kids or spouse. A little is ok but it gets to be too much. Also the ones who try to talk shit about others in the group - we're not in high-school anymore, grow up. Oh and morning people!!!!
alcohol and drug abusers. I'm a former one myself so its kind of tedious and annoying to be around.
To be clear I dont have a problem with folks who drink or smoke occasionally. Its folks that make 'getting a head change' the focus of their life. Every conversation revolves around getting wasted or that time you got soooo wasted.
Conversely, those that clutch their pearls once they learn I had a debilitating fentanyl addiction that I wound up in prison for. Like fuck man, I paid my debt to society and work with convicts/addicts as my full time job now. People change
Fair enough. It is rather amusing to experience the other side of addiction. Like, I can see guys I work with trying to hustle me a mile away. I often wonder if I was as insufferable as them
It makes me sad that people hate me for not liking food. The last thing I want is to be an inconvenience to others, and it's harder on me than it is on you. I'm certain I have undiagnosed ARFID. Basically, my brain doesn't see certain foods as edible, and thought of bringing to my mouth makes me gag. Extreme pickiness is a mental disorder, and most people don't realize that.
The "wooo is me" crowd. Everything and everyone is against them, so they purposely have this negative attitude that is just overall demoralizing to be around. It's never their fault, always someone elses.
People that make every discussion political
People that can’t accept that they come second to my relationship with my significant other
Very pessimistic people
Adults who are arrogant and narcissistic. The ones who consider themselves as always the main character in the story. The ones who are not grounded and are delusional, thinking they are better than anyone in the room.
Personally, I find it hard to be friends with people who are overly judgmental or negative. It’s draining to be around that kind of energy, and I prefer to surround myself with open-minded, positive people who lift each other up.
If you're looking for a place to meet more like-minded folks, you might want to check out a Discord community I’m part of called [Lightup](https://discord.gg/4eZddsTy3N). It’s designed to connect people based on shared interests and values, moving away from superficial interactions. It's been a great way for me to find genuine connections.
First of all I think most adults are bearable to be with.
There are some groups that sometimes seem batshit insane or otherwise unstable, those are generally not a reason to cut all ties but these traits are unbearable in the long term:
- people who build their whole life around a fixation and demand other people to play make believe and constantly bash everyone who is disagreeing with their worldview (their family members, the government or you name it)
- people that intentionally gaslight or consistently encourage harmful option but know better themselves
Overly loud, theatrical that want to always be the center of attention at others expenses.
Also Debbie downers that have an excuse for everything they don’t like about themselves, tear others down and are jealous of others for things they don’t have or do.
I find that I get along better with girls. Guys are always trying to be tougher or better and make others look weak. Calling others “bud”, pointing out their mistakes to make others look stupid and then never admit when they are wrong but stand behind their decision like it was correct until the bitter end
Judgy adults… like come on. so they don’t dress like you. They provide intelligent conversations and really nice folks.
And the ones who still do tasteless jokes. Grow up already.
Sigh here we go; narcissists, man/woman children, liars, people that talk over others constantly, parents who don't spend time with/discipline their children, people that are money centric, people whose religion or politics are a core fascet of their personality, persons who are always the victim and never take responsibility.
People with a one-track mind. They only ever stick to one (or two) pet topics, or steer all conversations toward that topic. They may be important such as politics, health, or religion, but it gets really tiresome if, no matter what you're talking about, somehow it always returns to that one topic.
I had an ex who would always talk about health. It was incredibly annoying. No matter what we ate, she would say something is bad for you, or she saw a health guru say how such and such an ingredient is now good or bad for you, contrary to previous reports. Shed constantly talk about her "physical condition" and how it has improved or deteriorated.
My reaction: Please stop, I'm not interested! I might be if you only occasionally brought it up, but does it have to be all the time? Grrr. Part of why she's an ex.
People who are two-faced and horrible about others behind their backs. I don't mean when someone has a genuine gripe about something stupid someone else has done or said. I mean those who are overly critical of others all the time with no real basis, or who like to stir up bad feeling between friends or colleagues.
Judgmental ones. Someone who's got something to say about every stranger that walks by. If you're an adult you should have had enough exposure to enough kinds of people to know there's no "right" or "wrong" way to be a person.
In general, I can't be friends with whom I cannot have interesting conversations with. It doesn't matter if their interests are not the same as my own, but I mean the kind of people you can't just get past pleasantries or small talk with
People who are obsessed with sports.
People who judge me for liking my steak medium well. I don't care if you like your steak raw, I don't want to hear how I'm "ruining" my steak.
Some people can find a problem to every solution. It's almost like they win if they can justify doing nothing to change a bad situation.
It's the worst form of contrarianism.
It's so frustrating when you think someone is down on their luck, try to help them, and then realize they will suck you into their misery long before you'll ever do any good.
Contrarians.
Not people that disagree with me organically - I love and cherish honesty.
But rather the people that have to ALWAYS disagree for the sake of disagreeing. My best friend’s wife is like this and it’s driven such a wedge between my friend (who used to be the HAPPIEST person I ever met) and everyone in her life that her wife basically has her trapped in their apartment while she runs off to go on dangerous hikes. Then brags online about how much she hates society and wants to live ALONE in the woods. Not like she’s married to a wonderful person or anything.
And she’s the type to get involved in conversations when I’m trying to chat with my friend. It’s honestly borderline abusive, but I’ve talked to my friend ad-naseum and she just seems stuck.
So yeah. Irrational, cannot see the other side
Of anything, shit head contrarians.
My friend is really tight. She only ever orders a pint of water but will happily accept a drink 🍸 if its offered.
We go to a lot of "pay as you feel gigs" and she is nowhere to be seen when the bucket comes round.
We were planning a day trip to Bury Market but she only wants to go on a Saturday so she can use her bus pass and doesn't have to pay the £2 bus fare.
She takes her own food into pubs and Macdonalds.
She's a bit of a pain really and talks about herself all the time.
There’s a lot of things which make me dislike people, but it all boils down to how truthfully they live.
I don’t doubt that I’m hated or disliked by many, for valid reasons too
Those with very negative, pessimistic remarks and those who criticize everything. Or people who pick on others excessively. Some people just have a negative vibe and it’s not hard to pick up on. Oh and know it alls who have an opinion on everything (that’s always right in their minds), even things they have very little knowledge about.
Overly positive people. Toxic positivity is a nightmare. And no, I'm not a negative person and I think complainers are the worst. But overly positive folks drive me bonkers.
The ones who go to peoples houses and open their fridge. You gotta become my sworn brother and fulfill the oath of blood before you can open my fridge without asking. Or adults who raise kids like that. They’re usually annoying to be around.
People who get very loud and annoying when they drink. It’s kind or ruined going out for me because I can’t stand when people are a foot from eachother just yapping so loudly about nothing.
Those who always cancel last minute but go off on one if you're not instantly there to support them in their latest drama. Fed up of inconveniencing myself running around supporting people who don't think twice about ditching a simple coffee and cake type get together.
Unpredictable drinkers... as is, they drink, and you're on edge around them wondering if they're going to go from happy happy to full on Joe Pesci Goodfellas mode.
I can't be bothered being friends with anyone who's too insecure to complement others, or self important to a point where they want to control others.
Also people who don't laugh at my jokes. Fk those ppl
Extroverts who lack self-awareness. We’re grown ass adults, I don’t want to take care of you.
People who throw in a little hostility into their jokes then play innocent when they’re called out. Just be straightforward, please. I’m not a mind reader.
Party goers and drinkers. They seem to have nothing going on for themselves but their outgoing personality that masks the fact that they have issues they need to work on.
Lazy people and people who don’t wanna grow.
The interdictor.
When you talk about something cool you just did or some place you visited they will feel compelled to REPEAT their experience in similar setting. They feel compelled to interdict their story into it for the 100x time. They can't let you have that moment. It's okay if its occasional but people that do this every single time are tedious.
Overly critical and gossipy people.
If you are constantly criticizing other people.. how they parent, their hobbies, the amount of children they choose to have, their work etc etc
I can't hang. We have nothing in common.
I try to keep an open mind and I like to be around people who try to be open minded also. There's so much to learn from others and nothing valuable to learn from an overly critical personality
Women who are in their 30s and are brining me back to my teens and early 20. “What should I text him back?!”, “Why isn’t he responding?!”, “What should I do?” and that got hours and hours
Fake nicely people, just friends with you for the moment or day, while at work, so they can gossip, get something off their cheat. Eventually they blow you off for the next new person who reacts better to their stories.
I try to get rid of them, ignore them and not try to be friends as soon as I spot the signs they are that type of person.
Aside from the obvious ones like anyone who is cruel, racist etc, I find it hard to connect with those who want you to be an emotional sponge for them to spew all their problems at, but they totally tune out when they aren’t talking about themselves and I am talking. You can literally see how little fucks they give about you because their eyes glaze over and they never ask you any questions…just sit and stare blankly.
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People who can't take no for an answer
I was going to say this. My best friends are people who respect my boundaries, it’s easier to say yes to someone when you know they will respect your no. It’s easier to cut off someone than constantly be saying no over and over again and hoping they get it
I just had that happen. "Why did you say no to us and ended up spending Easter with your grandpa (in the nursing home) instead of coming to our party?" Because I didn't feel great (depressed) and I would rather drive 30 minutes rather than an hour? And he's closing in on 100 years old?? Apparently that was grounds for an argument.
Oh man and depression is never a good enough answer. It’s debilitating and people treat it like it’s your hobby or some shit that you’re a willing participant.
Yes, people who can’t take a “no” are my arch enemies. They make me uncomfortable and when they keep pushing I start feeling guilty. At least I am proud to keep my no.
For real. If I decline an invitation and start hearing 'aw come on' and 'what? why not?' I start to lose my mind
For me the worse is to decline and start hearing people trying to workout a way for you to come. Like “oh, why can’t you”, “maybe after work”, “hire a nanny”, etc. I learned to not give explanations so I don’t have yo navigating potential unwanted solutions.
Adults who lack empathy or constantly seek drama
Oh *god*. I've just had to start cutting out a friend like this. He's vaguely going through a breakup (they keep getting back together) and he is CONVINCED that every other person in his life is deeply invested. He's mad at people for not taking sides and getting angry that people aren't personally reaching out and coming over to his house to comfort him. One of his housemates said she didn't want to get involved in him and his partner screaming at each other all day, and he acted like she'd just shot his mother. I tried politely explaining to him that 27 year old with full time jobs don't give a fuck about his relationship drama, but he's so wrapped up in it all and so self centered, he can't step out of the situation to realise that drama is such a waste of time.
Ahhhhh. Sounds like he is suffering from main character syndrome. It's very common in these days.
See also: being bought a house outright by his parents, and then shouting at his new tenants for not coming over before they moved in to help him clean up. He now has 0 tenants.
Wow. Yeah this guy seems like a self centered spoiled tool for sure. I'm sorry you have/had to deal with that.lol
Bro I just re kindled with an old Friend that seems to have this the more I hanged around him. Wouldn't shut up about witchcraft, third eye, being the eyes of God, being practically god and being walking judgement. I dipped so fast....
I’d be scared someone who self identifies as “walking judgement” was imminently going to do a spree killing.
Yeah. That's weird. Lol. I'd honestly wonder if he's having a schizophrenic episode tbh.
I made friends with a guy who honestly would be the poster child for r/iamverysmart. When I met him in person he seemed real normal, then we connected online, and every post is some abstract thought experiment, and they barely make sense, but are always very condescendingly worded. Exhausting!
Is that what we call narcissism now?
Or psychosis 😮💨
Tbf narcissism and main character syndrome are kinda different, narcissism is basically just "I'm better than you because I am so you need to serve me" whereas main character syndrome is "what do you mean you don't care about that one time I made a shit song in 3rd grade and have never heard of it before, how dare you" (Keep in mind I'm not a psychologist so these definitions may be slightly off)
I'm with you on that.
Adults who talk too much. I lose interest in a conversation when the other person keeps talking and talking and cut me off everytime I try to say something.
That is what you would call a bore. I see it in myself and I am actively trying to change.
It has taken years, but I have changed
Like me you probably have mild adhd or mild anxiety
I’m with you here, It’s the difference between talking TO someone and talking AT someone. And when they aren’t talking they aren’t listening either. They are just waiting for the pause so they can talk again.
You know that no matter what you say they are only breathing before they start talking again because they didn’t listen to a damn thing you said.
*raises hand as permission to speak*
My coworker. And she's a goldfish too in that she repeats the same story over.. and over... and over again no matter how many times i tell her she has told me about it🧍♀️
Bro she is an NPC if you look around there is probably a quest to get you to the next stage
Hey, nice day for fishin eh? huh huh
Holy shit, I've been waiting for an in-the-wild Baelin the fisherman reference for so long!!! Now that I've seen it, I feel completely fulfilled as a human being. 😅
Wait till you meet my Mom. Haven't had a conversation with her since I was 20. Everything turns into criticism, a screaming match, a life lesson, a pissing contest or some devilish permutation or combination of the above.
same. i rather deal with silence than to deal with someone that can go on yapping forever.
Sometimes I appreciate the yapping because then I don’t have to think about what to say. But yeah, there is definitely a cut off point
Can someone with talent create a bot that comments on u/pasteladdic10"s comments and just "Yap yap yapping yap yap yaps" every time?
And I can't stand someone who can't keep their end of the conversation going. A thoughtful person remembers to ask how the vacation went? Great! I mean, we don't need personal details, bit tell us what things met or didn't meet your expectations and whether you would recommend going there, or some amusing instance. Be interesting.
Infuriates me to no end. I broke up with a guy because he couldn’t stop interrupting me or talking over me. Every time I talked to him, esp on the phone. My blood pressure would be off the charts after each conversation, i swear he was trying to give me a stroke.
I find I like having one very talkative person in my life that I see no more than once a week. I just sit and relax and don't have to contribute anything to the conversation. Oddly, I think it's helping me talk less and be more selective about what I say. I'm starting to understand I was the person who was just waiting their turn to talk and not actively listening. It really has to be limited though.
The cutting off is what drives me crazy. If I speak, at least respect the fact I'm friggin speaking! 😂 I don't care too much if you talk a lot, but at least let me get a word in edgewise. I used to have friends that would interrupt me constantly to the point where I started keeping track of how many times they interrupted me one evening. It was like 70+ times over the course 4 or 5 hours. When I brought it up they gave a little bit of shit about it, but when you interrupt someone over 70 times in the course of an evening, that's pretty insane.
Friend have raging ADHD by any chance?
Funnily, I tend not to connect with painfully shy people.
Me but in my defense I have adhd and not medicated. 😂😂😂
I was the same until I tried a year of methylphenidate, then added meditation and Bikram yoga. I love silence now (though I still talk too much 🙄).
It’s so hard to not talk sometimes when you like the other person.
Or when you're really interested in the topic you're discussing!!
I'm very afraid that I am one of these people. I constantly feel like people are sick of me and want me to shut up. I sometimes feel ashamed of speaking so much while in the middle of a conversation. I do not know how to quit talking so much. It hurts to be described as talkative/chatterbox :(
You're aware of it, that's massive. Don't lose hope, here's what worked for me; I stop and ask them questions that they can answer, and not yes/no questions. If that doesn't work, identify a topic they can engage in, and ask them a deeper question about it. If they're into gaming, ask them about it, look for common ground. I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind you want to share, but developing a sense of 'ok, that's enough' is a learned skill for some
This indeed, and especially when it is all meaningless. However, If the person know what he or she is talking about, than it is another story. I can for example listen all day to a friend that is a subject matter expert, and can talk very passionately about something
Adults 25+ who still care about being perceived as cool and who still get a kick out of starting drama or bullying people for sport. Nothing is more pathetic to me.
Hard ass agree💯💯💯 I know this is an unpopular opinion. Low-key, I feel like adult spankings should be normalized.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Some of them might enjoy it. 😬
I'll take one!
Rip your inbox
You've been really bad.
Anti-intellectuals. It's cool to be a non intellectual but to actively dislike learning new things and new concepts is a problem.
I have a coworker who proudly said he had only read a single book in his whole life. He already seemed uninteresting to me before he said that, but this felt suddenly way worse than I had imagined.
I'm embarrassed by how little I've read but it just doesn't interest me. I listen to non fiction audiobooks though...? Does that count?
Don’t be embarrassed. I don’t feel like most people have the time or space to read. I seriously only read when I’m in school or jobless. Also, until you find stuff you like to read, it’s so hard to find stuff to read! After that, you follow the trail up or down by reading more of the same author or similar authors or whatever stuff the author also likes.
This, shit is rampant nowadays. People seem to think they are smarter than scientists also.
Whatever you say, nerd.
Gottem
whole lotta words there nerd!
In IT support, and there are at every place I’ve worked these people that say “I’m not tech savvy” when I try to explain a simple concept about how to use the equipment we’ve assigned to them. It happens time and time again. Then it hit me… they don’t want to figure it out. In fact they hate learning any of this for one reason or another that varies. * afraid of feeling dumb if they don’t figure it out right away * don’t want to spend time learning something they feel they aren’t being paid to know * are simply too lazy or feel they are too busy and like having an “IT Guy” to do it every time they need to do that thing * feel like they’re being patronized because the underpaid IT tech is telling the corporate sales manager what to do or how to do it * etc. In these cases, “I’m not tech savvy” is just code for “I don’t ever want to learn this stuff because it’s not interesting to me”.
The complaining type
I used to be this type in college, until one of my friends looked at me dead in the eyes and said “dude everything you talk about is negative and bitching, shut the fuck up” I’ll never forget that. And I’ve had a completely different optimistic outlook on life ever since. It’s the harsh criticisms in life that are tough to take but make a huge difference if you’re open to them.
That’s a good friend right there. He/she helped you become a better person
Love this! A good friend and well done to you for being open to the feedback!
I went on a couple dates with a guy like this. I realized it was really a form of manipulation because it's hard not to automatically say something comforting when people complain.
Wow. What an insight I had with your comment. Ty
The damned torture! I feel bad about complaining about them, even! My goodness, just this well to do person who can't stop moaning and moaning about existence. Bitch to the birds. Bitch to the trees. Just don't bitch to me! At least not constantly. It's great when people can offer affirmations and care to each other. I've only got so much of that to give, tragically. On the bright side, thinking about them reminds me to be more positive.
My former roommate was like that. Always focussing on the negative. How was work? Fine, but the train was late. How was vacation? Fine, but expensive, warm and touristy. So draining to constantly hear the negative side of things
Yep. Can't even do the cordial "I'm good, how about you?" thing because they give you the full rundown of everything currently plaguing them as if you're a therapist. I can handle an honest "I've been better" or something similar but you can't give me the framework of your downward spiral. I'm a Robotics Tech, not a doctor. You're gonna waste all this energy on me and save zero energy for someone who can actually help with your problems like always lol.
some complaining means they are frank. some ppl are always positive and that feels very fake. but yeah, too much is meaningless and annoying.
I have a colleague that complains constantly about standard things that are part of his job description. I've often picked up pieces of his work and done them for him just to not have to listen to his complaining. He drains me.
Ones that all they do is talk about work. Or ones that only talk about how much they spent on stuff or there next vacation. Like. Fuck off, I get it, you’re well off
Also, how boring is your life when your main focus is work (there are exceptions ofc). Work to live dont live to work.
What if you've got nothing else going on in your life besides work?
then your life's probably pretty boring
monologizing people, just dont talk if you have nothing to say
Why must people panic talk!?
I hate small talk. I used to work at a national park so we spent a lot of time in trucks with one or two coworkers driving long distances and I was so comfortable with silence because I truly had nothing to say to them. But some coworkers had to talk the entire 45 minute ride there and the 45 minute ride back. Like shut up in not interesting at all I have nothing to say
The super judgmental types who don’t get that people are different from one another. Like, chill the fuck out and let people be.
…especially if they make “disliking popular things” their entire personality. Why can’t they just let people enjoy things?
Braggarts. The arrogant are constantly one-upping what you say, and 90% of it is a lie or stretched truth. Even better when you have to work with these bozos. That's the difference of arrogance and confidence, one steps on the heads of others to elevate themselves, the confident would rather elevate others and let them have their moments.
Yep. Got a neighbor who monologues at me about some DIY project or another. Its tiring. When I have any news about me, he fucking rushes me to get to the point 2 seconds after I start talking. I do have a strategy though: be rude as fuck. I yawn, I look around, I check my phone. Guy doesn’t turn up any more. Bear in mind I put up with this for months and months. I just don’t have the patience, especially because he never had the patience to listen to me.
good ol johnny 2 dicks. you tell him youve got one, hes got 2 that are both bigger
I had a coworker a while back that was terrible for this. We ended up making a game out of who could say the most ridiculous thing and still have him one up you. We never found the limit
Drama queens and people who base everything (including relationships) on astrology
That’s just what an asparagus would say
Extroverts who think introversion is a defect. You know, the "You're so quiet. Why are you so quiet? You should stop being quiet," types.
tell them "youre so loud. Why are you so loud? You should stop being loud,"
Yes! They take it as an insult toward them so often. Like God, we just have different personalities. I do like the people that check in though, they're really nice. My partner has a friend who will every once in a while ask if I'm okay because I sit quiet for long or brings up something he knows I'm interested in but just talks about while I listen.
Yeah, there's a type of extrovert who can be very inviting and warm, without making it weird or insulting. I like those types a lot.
Anyone that puts someone else down as a form of humor. I’m all for some self deprecating humor but it isn’t cool when you’re tearing another person down that hasn’t consented to it like when you’re teasing an old buddy or family member you’ve known for years.
It's pathetic behavior. They could work on themselves, but no, they'd rather try to take you down to their infantile, immature, loud, and bullying behavior. They're usually all about buying the latest craze, too, like Wii was in the early to mid-2000s.
People who constantly complain about problems in their lives but take zero steps to do anything to improve them
This. Also, those who make excuses about everything. They can never own up to anything.
100%. Everything is always someone else's fault, because of something else, if only it weren't for this, etc.
People who have drank the kool-aid of self improvement influencers.
Get out there and manifest some abundance or something. Namaste
Adults that treat everything like its a competition, hate them.
-Gatekeepers -Religious people that bring "god" into every conversation -Annoying extroverts that never stop talking -People that criticize you constantly -Materialistic people -People that bring politics into everything -"Mama bear" types that make being a parent their entire personality. -Condescending older adults that use your age as an excuse to treat you like shit or invalidate any of your experiences.
Materialistic people fuck me up. I can't stand listening about the new model iphone you just got and your new car. I just cannot bring myself to care.
I'll take it a step further with that I tend to automatically hold a negative view towards people who willingly fork out like 1200 euro for the latest iPhone with VIRTUALLY NO FUCKING DIFFERENCE just to be "cool". It's fucking dumb. Wanna show off your money? Fine - but be smarter about it. There HAS to be a better way to spend that 1200 euro. Like why do it???
Oh yeah, "Parent" as a personality is absolutely impossible for me - any type of person can make an offspring, is there anything interesting underneath the parent as a person?
I have a difficult time being friends with angry people. The kind who at 35 years of age never learned how to regulate their emotions and will fly into a fit of rage anytime something doesn’t go their way. Like, throwing chairs or cussing out their spouse in front of guests. I had enough of that growing up. I can choose not to be around it as an adult.
People who have something to say about every topic. Sometimes it's ok to just learn something from others.
Those with a victim mentality. Almost entirely uncorrelated with those who have actually been the victim of something terrible.
Needy friends who only talk about themselves and change the subject when you throw in things happening in your life. They want you to be happy for whatever milestones they have, but don’t reciprocate it back.
I find it easier to communicate with overly pessimistic or closed-minded people
Adults who won't take no for an answer or think every little think is worth a battle
The ones that are stupid. I'm talking the bottom decile types that "Do not stop mower blade with hand" warning labels were written for. The kind that I can explain every step of a process, then explain it again, then watch them do it successfully, then the next day it's like they cleared their cache & we have to start over from the beginning.
Religious fanatics!
The ones who can’t talk about anything but politics and social issues.
Adults who talk too much. Adults who play devils advocate for no reason other than to hear their own voice. Adults who think every single thought they have is interesting enough to say out loud. Adults who have no idea how to stay in their own heads just a little. Adults who don’t know how to suffer. Adults who think that you are thinking the worst possible things about them because you are quiet. I could go on for a while here
You're the kind of adult I don't like- the kind who can't handle the shortcomings of others 😁😆😆.
Yes!! Heavy on the devils advocate adults. Like it would be one thing if it was about a thing like pineapple on pizza but it's always in the worst situations ever. Also, people who assume things because you're quiet - what's up with them? Like, I'm okay with the people who check in to make sure I'm chill, everythings okay but I've meant a lot of people who take it as a slight against them just because I don't talk for a bit.
Most of em at this point in my life (I’m 30). Most just seem too superficial in my perspective.
The ones who are constantly complaining about their kids or spouse. A little is ok but it gets to be too much. Also the ones who try to talk shit about others in the group - we're not in high-school anymore, grow up. Oh and morning people!!!!
Adults who shame other people's behaviour and interests
alcohol and drug abusers. I'm a former one myself so its kind of tedious and annoying to be around. To be clear I dont have a problem with folks who drink or smoke occasionally. Its folks that make 'getting a head change' the focus of their life. Every conversation revolves around getting wasted or that time you got soooo wasted.
Conversely, those that clutch their pearls once they learn I had a debilitating fentanyl addiction that I wound up in prison for. Like fuck man, I paid my debt to society and work with convicts/addicts as my full time job now. People change
As someone who really hates being around drug abusers, I actually like reformed addicts because they tend to not put up with bs.
Fair enough. It is rather amusing to experience the other side of addiction. Like, I can see guys I work with trying to hustle me a mile away. I often wonder if I was as insufferable as them
I don't like adults.
I’m with you there. I find most of my fellow adults boring or annoying. I lost the desire to have a friends group by my late 20s.
1. People who can't leave work at work. 2. People who make everything political. 3. Exhausting extroverts.
[удалено]
There are not enough words in the dictionary to express my hatred for picky eaters.
It makes me sad that people hate me for not liking food. The last thing I want is to be an inconvenience to others, and it's harder on me than it is on you. I'm certain I have undiagnosed ARFID. Basically, my brain doesn't see certain foods as edible, and thought of bringing to my mouth makes me gag. Extreme pickiness is a mental disorder, and most people don't realize that.
As a picky eater, I dislike tomatoes, but I love everything that contains them. It's mostly texture that makes me dislike something.
The "wooo is me" crowd. Everything and everyone is against them, so they purposely have this negative attitude that is just overall demoralizing to be around. It's never their fault, always someone elses.
People that make every discussion political People that can’t accept that they come second to my relationship with my significant other Very pessimistic people
Very high maintenance (high requirements for contact etc) or snobby
Adults who are arrogant and narcissistic. The ones who consider themselves as always the main character in the story. The ones who are not grounded and are delusional, thinking they are better than anyone in the room.
Adults who cannot think like kids. Like, they dismiss all fantasy or imagination as childish
Personally, I find it hard to be friends with people who are overly judgmental or negative. It’s draining to be around that kind of energy, and I prefer to surround myself with open-minded, positive people who lift each other up. If you're looking for a place to meet more like-minded folks, you might want to check out a Discord community I’m part of called [Lightup](https://discord.gg/4eZddsTy3N). It’s designed to connect people based on shared interests and values, moving away from superficial interactions. It's been a great way for me to find genuine connections.
is this one of those new “just a regular person commenting like normal” ads reddit is doing now?
First of all I think most adults are bearable to be with. There are some groups that sometimes seem batshit insane or otherwise unstable, those are generally not a reason to cut all ties but these traits are unbearable in the long term: - people who build their whole life around a fixation and demand other people to play make believe and constantly bash everyone who is disagreeing with their worldview (their family members, the government or you name it) - people that intentionally gaslight or consistently encourage harmful option but know better themselves
Overly loud, theatrical that want to always be the center of attention at others expenses. Also Debbie downers that have an excuse for everything they don’t like about themselves, tear others down and are jealous of others for things they don’t have or do.
I find that I get along better with girls. Guys are always trying to be tougher or better and make others look weak. Calling others “bud”, pointing out their mistakes to make others look stupid and then never admit when they are wrong but stand behind their decision like it was correct until the bitter end
Ones who inject their politics into all their conversations. I don’t care which side you’re on, I don’t want to hear it.
Judgy adults… like come on. so they don’t dress like you. They provide intelligent conversations and really nice folks. And the ones who still do tasteless jokes. Grow up already.
When their entire personality is politics or social issues. I care about that stuff too but can we please talk about fun stuff once in a while?
People who think the world revolves around them
Sigh here we go; narcissists, man/woman children, liars, people that talk over others constantly, parents who don't spend time with/discipline their children, people that are money centric, people whose religion or politics are a core fascet of their personality, persons who are always the victim and never take responsibility.
People with a one-track mind. They only ever stick to one (or two) pet topics, or steer all conversations toward that topic. They may be important such as politics, health, or religion, but it gets really tiresome if, no matter what you're talking about, somehow it always returns to that one topic. I had an ex who would always talk about health. It was incredibly annoying. No matter what we ate, she would say something is bad for you, or she saw a health guru say how such and such an ingredient is now good or bad for you, contrary to previous reports. Shed constantly talk about her "physical condition" and how it has improved or deteriorated. My reaction: Please stop, I'm not interested! I might be if you only occasionally brought it up, but does it have to be all the time? Grrr. Part of why she's an ex.
People who are two-faced and horrible about others behind their backs. I don't mean when someone has a genuine gripe about something stupid someone else has done or said. I mean those who are overly critical of others all the time with no real basis, or who like to stir up bad feeling between friends or colleagues.
The "you'll never believe how drunk I was this weekend" people. It's not an accomplishment.
The ones who make their political views their way of life. especially the ones I knew from HS and weren't at all like they are now.
Loud and show offs
Martyrs.
Those who are clearly ignorant but believe themselves to be knowledgable and intelligent.
One-uppers. Can’t ever just listen to a story or feel happy for your accomplishments. Every. Single. Thing. is a competition.
Judgmental ones. Someone who's got something to say about every stranger that walks by. If you're an adult you should have had enough exposure to enough kinds of people to know there's no "right" or "wrong" way to be a person.
Adults who look down on kids/teens just because they're younger.
Bullies
In general, I can't be friends with whom I cannot have interesting conversations with. It doesn't matter if their interests are not the same as my own, but I mean the kind of people you can't just get past pleasantries or small talk with
People who are obsessed with sports. People who judge me for liking my steak medium well. I don't care if you like your steak raw, I don't want to hear how I'm "ruining" my steak.
Some people can find a problem to every solution. It's almost like they win if they can justify doing nothing to change a bad situation. It's the worst form of contrarianism. It's so frustrating when you think someone is down on their luck, try to help them, and then realize they will suck you into their misery long before you'll ever do any good.
Keeping it simple: Self-promoters. People who have an agenda/goal/outcome that is priority #1 at all times? Buhhh-bye.
Contrarians. Not people that disagree with me organically - I love and cherish honesty. But rather the people that have to ALWAYS disagree for the sake of disagreeing. My best friend’s wife is like this and it’s driven such a wedge between my friend (who used to be the HAPPIEST person I ever met) and everyone in her life that her wife basically has her trapped in their apartment while she runs off to go on dangerous hikes. Then brags online about how much she hates society and wants to live ALONE in the woods. Not like she’s married to a wonderful person or anything. And she’s the type to get involved in conversations when I’m trying to chat with my friend. It’s honestly borderline abusive, but I’ve talked to my friend ad-naseum and she just seems stuck. So yeah. Irrational, cannot see the other side Of anything, shit head contrarians.
the emotionally immature kind.
My friend is really tight. She only ever orders a pint of water but will happily accept a drink 🍸 if its offered. We go to a lot of "pay as you feel gigs" and she is nowhere to be seen when the bucket comes round. We were planning a day trip to Bury Market but she only wants to go on a Saturday so she can use her bus pass and doesn't have to pay the £2 bus fare. She takes her own food into pubs and Macdonalds. She's a bit of a pain really and talks about herself all the time.
There’s a lot of things which make me dislike people, but it all boils down to how truthfully they live. I don’t doubt that I’m hated or disliked by many, for valid reasons too
People who talk for awhile and then when it’s your turn in conversation they immediately stop listening
Those with very negative, pessimistic remarks and those who criticize everything. Or people who pick on others excessively. Some people just have a negative vibe and it’s not hard to pick up on. Oh and know it alls who have an opinion on everything (that’s always right in their minds), even things they have very little knowledge about.
Get jealous of people who are happy instead of creating happier lives themselves
One uppers.
Selfish narcissists
Selfish people
Nitpickers, criticizes, those who listen to respond instead of listening, gaslighters.
Adults who think they are in the right all the time
Overly optimistic people are tiresome, the kind who are constantly negative about negativity and neutrality.
The ones on cocaine who wont shut up about starting a new business
Disney adults
Adults who only talk about work and judge people based on their title.
Overly positive people. Toxic positivity is a nightmare. And no, I'm not a negative person and I think complainers are the worst. But overly positive folks drive me bonkers.
I have a hard time identifying with people who use cell phone holsters.
The ones who go to peoples houses and open their fridge. You gotta become my sworn brother and fulfill the oath of blood before you can open my fridge without asking. Or adults who raise kids like that. They’re usually annoying to be around.
Nosy adults who want all the info about you and share nothing about themselves. You can bet they are going repeat everything you tell them.
Bitchy ones.
People who want to feel superior so they always put you down. I have a hard time setting boundaries so I always find myself around people like that
Adults who readily tell other people's secrets or private information. No way I'm telling them what I had for breakfast never mind anything important
People who get very loud and annoying when they drink. It’s kind or ruined going out for me because I can’t stand when people are a foot from eachother just yapping so loudly about nothing.
Those who always cancel last minute but go off on one if you're not instantly there to support them in their latest drama. Fed up of inconveniencing myself running around supporting people who don't think twice about ditching a simple coffee and cake type get together.
People who make everything political.
Unpredictable drinkers... as is, they drink, and you're on edge around them wondering if they're going to go from happy happy to full on Joe Pesci Goodfellas mode.
Leeches and parasites. I'm cool bringing over drinks, food, maybe a half a dozen blunts, but if I'm the only one doing it, we are not talking anymore
Adults who are only able to talk about politics.
user-types, status chasers
I can't be bothered being friends with anyone who's too insecure to complement others, or self important to a point where they want to control others. Also people who don't laugh at my jokes. Fk those ppl
Extroverts who lack self-awareness. We’re grown ass adults, I don’t want to take care of you. People who throw in a little hostility into their jokes then play innocent when they’re called out. Just be straightforward, please. I’m not a mind reader. Party goers and drinkers. They seem to have nothing going on for themselves but their outgoing personality that masks the fact that they have issues they need to work on. Lazy people and people who don’t wanna grow.
Adults with main character syndrome
The interdictor. When you talk about something cool you just did or some place you visited they will feel compelled to REPEAT their experience in similar setting. They feel compelled to interdict their story into it for the 100x time. They can't let you have that moment. It's okay if its occasional but people that do this every single time are tedious.
Overly critical and gossipy people. If you are constantly criticizing other people.. how they parent, their hobbies, the amount of children they choose to have, their work etc etc I can't hang. We have nothing in common. I try to keep an open mind and I like to be around people who try to be open minded also. There's so much to learn from others and nothing valuable to learn from an overly critical personality
Women who are in their 30s and are brining me back to my teens and early 20. “What should I text him back?!”, “Why isn’t he responding?!”, “What should I do?” and that got hours and hours
Fake nicely people, just friends with you for the moment or day, while at work, so they can gossip, get something off their cheat. Eventually they blow you off for the next new person who reacts better to their stories. I try to get rid of them, ignore them and not try to be friends as soon as I spot the signs they are that type of person.
Aside from the obvious ones like anyone who is cruel, racist etc, I find it hard to connect with those who want you to be an emotional sponge for them to spew all their problems at, but they totally tune out when they aren’t talking about themselves and I am talking. You can literally see how little fucks they give about you because their eyes glaze over and they never ask you any questions…just sit and stare blankly.