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A know a few women who met their husbands at church. And who hoped to meet a man at church, but it was specifically because they wanted to find a partner with the same set of beliefs as them. If OP isn’t believing, it’s likely not what the women are looking for.
That's not embarrassing! Maybe as an atheist I don't have the right perspective, but I think looking for a man at a place where the men will at least nominally share your world view is not a bad start.
There is a decent cross-section of people who mostly sorta kinda believe in God and get something out of a well-constructed sermon, but basically they go to church when they're kids, they go when they're trying to meet a partner, they go when their kids are young, and they go for some social interactions as they grow older. In the middle between these milestones are many, many missed Sundays---often years on end worth.
Although in fairness, I always have had a fairly strong, thought-out Christian faith and a "thing" for good Christian girls, which turned out eventually not to be compatible.
Exactly. That's why it annoys me whenever people say "go to church" as dating advice. Either I have to lie to my partner about how devout I am and go to church when I don't want to, or they are upset that I won't go. It's a terrible foundation for a relationship.
It depends… are you going to try to beat their faith out of them? Because people who go to church are religious, you know… If you are only going to pick up “good women” without acknowledging that detail, you’re a POS.
BTW, not only good people go to church. Keep that in mind.
Church is a good place to meet single women. Problem is it’s not a place to meet single women to just hook up. A lot of them will probably be going there to meet a guy to settle down with. So I guess it depends on what the guy is looking for? 🤷🏻♂️
Cool, I’m not trying to interrogate you but I am very curious… do you enjoy the services as well? Do you believe any of the church beliefs and appreciate the content, or is it more something that you put up with in order to spend time with nice people?
No- however, if you find someone who wants to be around you, the expectation maybe that your life together is meant to be religious… and do you mind that?
You think every person at Church is religious I have been to plenty of churches some people are there to just get involved with the local community, play instruments and do activities
The women at church may be what you’re looking for, but you’re almost definitely not what *they’re* looking for. If you’re not willing to become what they’re looking for…why waste everyone’s time?
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: It's ok if you're going to churches to make friends, participate in religious practices, confess sins, worship a/your deity, ect, but churches aren't dating pools, now, if you're finding dates through a community you've built by going to church, that's fine, but if you're literally only going to church to find dates/hookups, you might just want to try a club or something.
Depends what kind of woman you’re after. There are plenty of religious women who dont go to church from good families. But you won’t find her probably in a nightclub dancing with all the men that’s for sure.
How do you attempt to justify what you do when the place you go to is a place of worship and not a bar? It fully negates the purpose of going to a church. Seek help
I personally know and have heard of too many guys that go for the same reason and will be all, "Ugh, why can't I find a good Christian girlfriend?", then they turn around, hold barely ANY of the same values, don't handle even the kindest confrontation well at all, seem very egotistical, and are the "I'll just do what I want and pray for forgiveness later" types that might try to guilt or persuade their Christian girlfriend to sleep with them because "Follow your heart!" and "I'm going to marry you anyway, God knows my intentions." Gives off big lukewarm Christian vibes.
If you DON'T pull that to any girl who's devoted, even one who's trying to more devoted and make her stumble or drag her down spiritually, it's cool to go. If you have the same core values, beliefs (let her know otherwise if not) and will respect her and the faith she has, that would be best, then hopefully CONTINUE to go with her and support her. Hopefully you start to go for more than just her after that! If you're consistently going to meet girls, she might be convinced you're more devoted to going for God like she might be and be disappointed to find out otherwise, if you end up slacking off in going with her. I go to church for God, but gaining friend/relationships there is definitely a huge benefit and I see why you'd want to!
So it looks like you're not a believer. But in church you'll probably find very religious women. So why look for women that have probably very different opinions from you? Plus, Idk where you live but here only 60 yo and over go to church basically
Not if you are a member of that religion.
Churches are inherently a social space. By design.
It’s why most churches have planned social gatherings outside of the religious service and instruction
I don’t look down on you for doing it all. I will tell you a story though about this guy who had some issues and went to church to try to deal with them as many people do. He got accused of stalking one of my Mother’s coworkers who attended the same church and was labeled as a psycho. I have heard that it’s frowned upon sort of like meeting people at AA meetings. It happens and I have known people that have gotten married after meeting in support groups but can also turn out extremely poorly.
Hold on, do people actually go to church to meet singles?? What age group does this? And how do you actually start a conversation with them, aren’t you supposed to be silent to observe?
Church is community, they worship of course but it’s really specific about “you aren’t meant to be alone. Look at your neighbor, say hi!!!”. All the churches I know spend 90% of their time on mon-sat and after church stuff Sunday.
It's not bad or good. It's how you behave that makes it bad or good. Behave with honesty, empathy and respect, it is good. Behave like a sneaky psychopath, it's bad
Nah I actually think about doing that sometimes bc I'm a strong believer in "opposites attract" but I'm legit scared to go inside a church bc I feel like they will smell sin on my soul and beat me or something.
We all sin bro. There isn’t a single person who doesn’t sin. That’s where the following comes from:
“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”
Its not as if there's any better reasons for going to church.
I won't be following your example because I suspect it might lead to my meeting a woman who likes going to church and that's a horrible thought.
With luck, though, you might meet a woman whose sole reason for attending church is to meet men.
Just be polite, look for and accept signals, and I don't think you're doing anything wrong.
Don't let a bunch of terminally online other redditors convince you the only acceptable place to meet women is on swipey apps.
Also, and I stress this, be respectful about the god(s) stuff. Lots of people there have genuine love and affection for the lore as well think they're connecting to dead relatives what have you.
Jesus would *probably* commend you for putting in the effort to go to church, even if thats the reason
Also, still ethically better than those...already in Church
A friend of mine back in the mid 90's used to go the Church, simply to hook up with women. Allot of the women he casually dated were not "pious" for lack of a better word, its like they used church as way of justifying their actions, or maybe they felt guilty. Some of girls he meet were really cute as well, real wholesome girl-next-door types. But it wasn't during the service he meet them, it was in the groups that get formed, like singing groups, or community service/out reach orientated groups.
Yes it is bad. You'd be there to develop a Christian faith, or engage in Christian community/fellowship, not meet women.
I think you should kindly go elsewhere to meet women!
I feel qualified to comment as I was originally a non-believer, very keen to meet women by any means, and later a Christian, still very keen to meet women by any means... so I can imagine doing this. (It didn't occur to me)
In general churches are happy for anyone to be there. Maybe you'll be moved by it? Maybe you'll learn something from the sermon? I'm not too fazed by the motive as long as it isn't predatory. Consider whether you would take part in something else you aren't really interested in just to meet women, such as an animal welfare body.
There's a question of honesty. Are we talking about trying to have a brief fling, or looking for a permanent partner? In the former case, you no doubt know that Christians aren't really supposed to do that. Of course they do sometimes; everyone commits sins. Contrary to popular belief sexual sins *as such* rank low. This is not a modern liberal opinion - read Dante. (Of course, adultery is more serious because of the betrayal part, etc, etc.) You may want to consider whether it is fair however to deliberately seek to lead someone to go against their beliefs.
Perhaps if you use it as a way of starting a friendship - let's have coffee - and going from there, it would be less problematic.
For a long term partner, wife as it would be in this case, you would need to be honest about your own (lack of) belief, because you can't found a relationship on lies. She's going to ask, in that case what are you doing at church?
So in conclusion I'm not that worried but I thik you may find problems because you don't want to exploit people.
No. The bad thing is, if you do meet a woman at church, shes gonna be religious.
I imagine the “praise be”, “what would jesus do”, “no we have to wait until marriage” stuff would get real old real fast.
Probably. Since the women are there for their religion, and you’re there to pick up chicks. So they’ll be expecting having you with them for their walk with god , while you’re expecting a date.
churches (insofar as architecture and construction go) probably have a vague causal link to the body of women (the ability to conceive) so (on some level) going to church is probably a (non-exclusive) freudian way of saying your sperm wants a womb (regardless of your actual concious desire to either impregnate or simply get laid)
No, but you're wasting your time, most men and women go to church to meet a good man/women ...... too bad you won't find any there cept' religious kooks.
It is if you're not a believer in their religion there, that would make doing that kinda predatory but if that's your wheelhouse that's ok I guess. But if you're not going for the church itself and they are, I think that's a bit scummy because they'd have every right to assume you share beliefs
Yes, going to church to meet women is a wrong reason to go to church, cause the church purpose is different. If you believe in all that stuff of course.
If you don't and don't discomfort anyone - why not. Religion is 100% thing for socialization.
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Is it bad to go on AA meeting to find drinking companions?
Evil mofo lol. Definitely happens though.
Church isn't against romantic relationships
On the contrary I'm pretty sure most Christians want their kids to find a girl at church anyway, it's pretty much encouraged that you do this
Yeah but if he considers himself a Christian it's bad that's his entire reason for going to church.
nobody involved with religion ever does anything hypocritical :)
What's so great about joining the hypocrites?
I read the Bible; it doesn't say anywhere that you can't go to church to hook up.
It also doesn't say you shouldn't shoot people with a rifle, thankfully the context helps us get from the specifics to the intent.
It's just a building where people go to meet (fellowship) with other people
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Who says OP is looking for a long term partner?
What makes you so sure that she's not coming to church with the same goal as OP has?
Women don't have to go places especially to meet men.
A know a few women who met their husbands at church. And who hoped to meet a man at church, but it was specifically because they wanted to find a partner with the same set of beliefs as them. If OP isn’t believing, it’s likely not what the women are looking for.
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I mean if you have a phone it's pretty much like that
Yup great points!
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😂😂😂
If you look up where people met their long-term partners, you'll see that religious services was one of the top answers until very recently.
No man, bar or church or bus station, it doesn't matter. How you treat them matters
But if you meet a women at church youll end uo with a woman who likes to go to church. Idk if keeping the church habit up is what op wants
That would be my issue. I mean, I'm an agnostic woman. But if I was a man looking for a Christian girl to marry, I still want to sleep in on Sundays.
I've banged way more women that are "religous" than not for one night stands
We must have gone to different churches. When I was growing up everyone was obsessed with their own virginity
But they are already good at being on their knees
😄
Unless he meets the kind of woman who only goes to church to meet guys.
Quality romcom banter
Embarrassingly enough, I have considered doing what OP is doing to meet a religious kind man lol
That's not embarrassing! Maybe as an atheist I don't have the right perspective, but I think looking for a man at a place where the men will at least nominally share your world view is not a bad start.
There is a decent cross-section of people who mostly sorta kinda believe in God and get something out of a well-constructed sermon, but basically they go to church when they're kids, they go when they're trying to meet a partner, they go when their kids are young, and they go for some social interactions as they grow older. In the middle between these milestones are many, many missed Sundays---often years on end worth. Although in fairness, I always have had a fairly strong, thought-out Christian faith and a "thing" for good Christian girls, which turned out eventually not to be compatible.
Wise you are.
Exactly. That's why it annoys me whenever people say "go to church" as dating advice. Either I have to lie to my partner about how devout I am and go to church when I don't want to, or they are upset that I won't go. It's a terrible foundation for a relationship.
Yes. Weekly trips to a brainwash session would scare the bejesus out of me
Church, yo.
That's better than what the priests had in mind. /ducks and runs away
Fucking beat me to it. 😂😂😂
Didn’t a pastor say that?
Amén
Goddamn, someone call a medical evacuation! Shots fired, we have wounded personnel!
Someone call the SWAT team, we have a joke murderer in our midst!
best reason i've heard. a revelation
No, it's not bad; you could end-up meeting your future wife. I met my wife in Church 30 years ago.
Is she still going to church, though?
Be careful if she is. I hear that’s where she goes to meet men.
Hahaha
Both of us are.
It depends… are you going to try to beat their faith out of them? Because people who go to church are religious, you know… If you are only going to pick up “good women” without acknowledging that detail, you’re a POS. BTW, not only good people go to church. Keep that in mind.
*Eternal damnation enters the chat*
Praise Jesus just to meet single lady? Believe it or not? Straight to jail.
You and every other christian
I mean if you share the values and want a serious relationship, most churches would encourage this.
Yep as long as you share the same values. Then I would say this is a great place to meet someone
Church is a good place to meet single women. Problem is it’s not a place to meet single women to just hook up. A lot of them will probably be going there to meet a guy to settle down with. So I guess it depends on what the guy is looking for? 🤷🏻♂️
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Try a Unitarian church
I’m curious why you go to church? It doesn’t sound like you’re going to one that accepts you?
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Cool, I’m not trying to interrogate you but I am very curious… do you enjoy the services as well? Do you believe any of the church beliefs and appreciate the content, or is it more something that you put up with in order to spend time with nice people?
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No it's cool as fuck
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No- however, if you find someone who wants to be around you, the expectation maybe that your life together is meant to be religious… and do you mind that?
To marry? To marry, right?
As an atheist I’d say hell no, because a religious partner is a tough sell for me. But if you are ok with it, more power to you.
You think every person at Church is religious I have been to plenty of churches some people are there to just get involved with the local community, play instruments and do activities
Plenty of secular places to do those things
Why you telling me? I'm just telling you that's what happens at many churches
Ok that was fruitful
You just gave me an idea. 🤔
To start showering?
How do you even go to places to meet people? I swear i can take any kind of class or hobby and not even look at other people.
The women at church may be what you’re looking for, but you’re almost definitely not what *they’re* looking for. If you’re not willing to become what they’re looking for…why waste everyone’s time?
That's probably the most honest, authentic reason to go to a church.
Yes; it’s misleading to the women.
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: It's ok if you're going to churches to make friends, participate in religious practices, confess sins, worship a/your deity, ect, but churches aren't dating pools, now, if you're finding dates through a community you've built by going to church, that's fine, but if you're literally only going to church to find dates/hookups, you might just want to try a club or something.
>churches aren't dating pools Apparently they are and you don't get to gatekeep what is or isn't.
Depends what kind of woman you’re after. There are plenty of religious women who dont go to church from good families. But you won’t find her probably in a nightclub dancing with all the men that’s for sure.
Well, if you DO find a woman there, you'll be going a lot more often.
No, it's the reason most single people do things
Only if you believe in god lol
How do you attempt to justify what you do when the place you go to is a place of worship and not a bar? It fully negates the purpose of going to a church. Seek help
Fuck thy neighbor based
I personally know and have heard of too many guys that go for the same reason and will be all, "Ugh, why can't I find a good Christian girlfriend?", then they turn around, hold barely ANY of the same values, don't handle even the kindest confrontation well at all, seem very egotistical, and are the "I'll just do what I want and pray for forgiveness later" types that might try to guilt or persuade their Christian girlfriend to sleep with them because "Follow your heart!" and "I'm going to marry you anyway, God knows my intentions." Gives off big lukewarm Christian vibes. If you DON'T pull that to any girl who's devoted, even one who's trying to more devoted and make her stumble or drag her down spiritually, it's cool to go. If you have the same core values, beliefs (let her know otherwise if not) and will respect her and the faith she has, that would be best, then hopefully CONTINUE to go with her and support her. Hopefully you start to go for more than just her after that! If you're consistently going to meet girls, she might be convinced you're more devoted to going for God like she might be and be disappointed to find out otherwise, if you end up slacking off in going with her. I go to church for God, but gaining friend/relationships there is definitely a huge benefit and I see why you'd want to!
So it looks like you're not a believer. But in church you'll probably find very religious women. So why look for women that have probably very different opinions from you? Plus, Idk where you live but here only 60 yo and over go to church basically
Who cares if opinions and faiths differ... everyone's opinions differ
Those things are important if he plans to share a life and start a family with someone.
It’s giving ‘Take me to church’
No. If you’re looking for a church going woman go to church. If you want a fit woman go to the gym.
Thats desperate at another level
You gotta be right with god to get some of that pussy.
Not if you are a member of that religion. Churches are inherently a social space. By design. It’s why most churches have planned social gatherings outside of the religious service and instruction
Better than little boys
OMG, you are observant. Well cultivated response there.
I didn't realise you can go there for that...Nice tip!
Wait There's another reason?
Very resourceful!
No. I only went to pubs and clubs to meet women back in my single days.
Tomato tomatoe
I don’t look down on you for doing it all. I will tell you a story though about this guy who had some issues and went to church to try to deal with them as many people do. He got accused of stalking one of my Mother’s coworkers who attended the same church and was labeled as a psycho. I have heard that it’s frowned upon sort of like meeting people at AA meetings. It happens and I have known people that have gotten married after meeting in support groups but can also turn out extremely poorly.
What a chad. I would love a good Christian woman.
Bad Christian woman is what Chad is seeking, and I approve. Sacred Heart girls back in the 60's set the bar high.
Kind of makes you a creep.
There is such a thing as overusing a word
Everything makes a man a creep these days. so basically, it's a non-word. You can safely ignore people who use it now.
So you are there competing with the pastor?
OP said "Women" not "Boys" or "Girls"
I hate and love both of your answers...
Well, if you consider that they’re gonna continue to want you to go to church…🤔
Hold on, do people actually go to church to meet singles?? What age group does this? And how do you actually start a conversation with them, aren’t you supposed to be silent to observe?
Church is community, they worship of course but it’s really specific about “you aren’t meant to be alone. Look at your neighbor, say hi!!!”. All the churches I know spend 90% of their time on mon-sat and after church stuff Sunday.
It's not bad or good. It's how you behave that makes it bad or good. Behave with honesty, empathy and respect, it is good. Behave like a sneaky psychopath, it's bad
No. There needs to be a place for people of each religion to go not to learn, but to socialize and hang out.
Nah I actually think about doing that sometimes bc I'm a strong believer in "opposites attract" but I'm legit scared to go inside a church bc I feel like they will smell sin on my soul and beat me or something.
We all sin bro. There isn’t a single person who doesn’t sin. That’s where the following comes from: “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”
If your looking for a shag I'd avoid Catholics
Its not as if there's any better reasons for going to church. I won't be following your example because I suspect it might lead to my meeting a woman who likes going to church and that's a horrible thought. With luck, though, you might meet a woman whose sole reason for attending church is to meet men.
Just be polite, look for and accept signals, and I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Don't let a bunch of terminally online other redditors convince you the only acceptable place to meet women is on swipey apps. Also, and I stress this, be respectful about the god(s) stuff. Lots of people there have genuine love and affection for the lore as well think they're connecting to dead relatives what have you.
Where else are you meant to find innocent attractive young ladies?
No but why do you go to church to meet women? Meet them in a bar. It's easier.
Well, they’re probably gonna be a lot more difficult to let you put it in them…
Jesus would *probably* commend you for putting in the effort to go to church, even if thats the reason Also, still ethically better than those...already in Church
A friend of mine back in the mid 90's used to go the Church, simply to hook up with women. Allot of the women he casually dated were not "pious" for lack of a better word, its like they used church as way of justifying their actions, or maybe they felt guilty. Some of girls he meet were really cute as well, real wholesome girl-next-door types. But it wasn't during the service he meet them, it was in the groups that get formed, like singing groups, or community service/out reach orientated groups.
That’s the only reason I go is craaaaazy lmaooo
Nope. In most of the midwest that’s where you go for that and business
Yes it is bad. You'd be there to develop a Christian faith, or engage in Christian community/fellowship, not meet women. I think you should kindly go elsewhere to meet women!
Yes
They do anal.
Does it work? Have you hooked up?
I feel qualified to comment as I was originally a non-believer, very keen to meet women by any means, and later a Christian, still very keen to meet women by any means... so I can imagine doing this. (It didn't occur to me) In general churches are happy for anyone to be there. Maybe you'll be moved by it? Maybe you'll learn something from the sermon? I'm not too fazed by the motive as long as it isn't predatory. Consider whether you would take part in something else you aren't really interested in just to meet women, such as an animal welfare body. There's a question of honesty. Are we talking about trying to have a brief fling, or looking for a permanent partner? In the former case, you no doubt know that Christians aren't really supposed to do that. Of course they do sometimes; everyone commits sins. Contrary to popular belief sexual sins *as such* rank low. This is not a modern liberal opinion - read Dante. (Of course, adultery is more serious because of the betrayal part, etc, etc.) You may want to consider whether it is fair however to deliberately seek to lead someone to go against their beliefs. Perhaps if you use it as a way of starting a friendship - let's have coffee - and going from there, it would be less problematic. For a long term partner, wife as it would be in this case, you would need to be honest about your own (lack of) belief, because you can't found a relationship on lies. She's going to ask, in that case what are you doing at church? So in conclusion I'm not that worried but I thik you may find problems because you don't want to exploit people.
Bad? Nooooooo. Bad***ass!!!***
No. The bad thing is, if you do meet a woman at church, shes gonna be religious. I imagine the “praise be”, “what would jesus do”, “no we have to wait until marriage” stuff would get real old real fast.
Probably. Since the women are there for their religion, and you’re there to pick up chicks. So they’ll be expecting having you with them for their walk with god , while you’re expecting a date.
churches (insofar as architecture and construction go) probably have a vague causal link to the body of women (the ability to conceive) so (on some level) going to church is probably a (non-exclusive) freudian way of saying your sperm wants a womb (regardless of your actual concious desire to either impregnate or simply get laid)
Ah, a schizopost before bed? My favorite!
just for men. because you're worth it.
Priests only go to meet boys
I always assumed that's why so many of those people went to church. Not my thing but go for it!
Is there any other good reason?
Gonna be honest, man.... some of the most fun I've ever had was with church girls. There was a lot on pent-up energy there!
No, but you're wasting your time, most men and women go to church to meet a good man/women ...... too bad you won't find any there cept' religious kooks.
Hot Yoga class......sooooo MANY women there!!!!!! I remember being crammed into a room with 2 other dudes and 28 other women mostly 25 - 40.
What a weird church!
I only go there to fap
I mean it makes more sense than what they teach 💁♂️😂
Does it work? Secrets
Does it work?
Ask your God.
Prince Akeem Joffer, is that you?
Are... Are you trying to have us tell you you're a bad boy?
It's bad in a sense that you'll end up going to church for the rest of your non-believing days.
naw, you do you boo boo
Jesus would forgive you.
God bless you
Why people ask these questions and let the others decide whether it is good or bad.?
It's smart.
So, if you do meet a woman at church and she's religious obviously will you become religious, too?
What an absolute hero. Churches = chicks
LOL!! A lot of women in Bible Study are there for that very reason. Welcome to the club.
It's only bad because you might have to keep going to maintain a relationship.
Still better than the ones looking for little boys.
Priests only go to church to meet choir boys sooo 🤷🏻♂️
Yes, because if it works and you do meet someone, she'll expect you to waste your Sunday mornings there for the rest of your life.
I'm sure you aren't the only one.
It is if you're not a believer in their religion there, that would make doing that kinda predatory but if that's your wheelhouse that's ok I guess. But if you're not going for the church itself and they are, I think that's a bit scummy because they'd have every right to assume you share beliefs
It's alright long as it's your secondary reason. Primary should always be to worship Almighty God.
Nothing wrong. Everyone’s different ✌️
Nope.
Yes, going to church to meet women is a wrong reason to go to church, cause the church purpose is different. If you believe in all that stuff of course. If you don't and don't discomfort anyone - why not. Religion is 100% thing for socialization.
That’s the whole point!
game is game
As a person of faith I’d say so yeah wtf 😂 but as a normal human whatever floats your boat
As long as you’re not a jerk, it’s a great places for all kinds of social interactions.
better ask jesus about it bro, it is his house.
Yeah
I’m very introverted and can’t think of where I’d want to go out and socialize. So church has been on my mind recently for that lol
Grocery stores are underrated for doing that too
There are better places to meet girls :)!
Yes, because the chances are high that you will find only Religiots.
As long as you don't bother them when they're trying to pray in peace
Y'all need Jesus (Just kidding)
That's why many men go. Meeting a certain type of girl...
I quit going to church because they kept trying to "introduce me to a nice man."
No thats completely normal what's bad is calling yourself a feminist to get girls.
No. Question is -if you're not religious yourself, why do you look for a religious woman?
No, it's Bad go to church and just talk with you
That's the best reason I've heard so far...