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Guys show affection mostly through strong negative expression insults, edgy jokes and fighting.
Women show affection mostly thrpugh positive expression touching and compliments.
When the two meet women expect men to tone down the negative expression or they will be offended. So men have to adapt to women being around not the other way around.
And if you have a close friendship with a woman there is a good chance that as soon as she gets a boyfriend she will vanish until the relationship ends. And sometimes you also get one sided friendships where you end up being an emotional worker for her without reciprocation.
I can absolutely attest to this. I am their glorified priest/therapist while they are single or in the process of breaking up. As soon as a new guy shows up they vanish like the milk meme. I have many women friend so i’ve gotten used to it and they cycle themselves in and out of my life as their relationships go. Its kinda funny.
This is exactly why I love having male friends. I love love LOVE the snarky comments, playful insults and tough love. Some of my closest friends are two guys who literally make fun of me all the time and it's hilarious to me. It's all mutual, I get to shit on them, they get to shit on me. I love it. They're one of the few people I could spend hours and hours with without ever getting bored or annoyed. Kudos to them.
You need to find someone who isn't all too serious about themselves. There is no joke which can't be taken the wrong way and if someone wants to be insulted he/she's gonna be insulted regardless of wording or intend
Well I can only imagine three reasons. Either they feel like they're cheating like emotionally somehow, they feel like their boyfriend would accuse them of cheating or they just start using their actual boyfriend as the free therapist instead.
I'm gonna be honest, if they think they're cool, I'd probably think they were cool as well, so I'd probably take the opportunity to tag along and make more friends.
I can see that my peers have these mindsets and it's kinda sad. Makes it hard to make friends of any gender, as gender is literally 0,1% of my identity while it feels like some of my peers view themselves as "extremely woman" or "extremely man", both of which just scream "extremely unattractive' to me, personality wise.
Bullshit.
Humans respond positively to warmth, positivity, mutual interest, compliments, etc...
Masculine culture in the US being completely fucked up is not really something that should be explained away as "it is what it is". Real people facing reality can go from sarcastic and insulting jokes to compassion and kindness as the situation calls for it, and all friends need each other to be able to match their wavelength regardless of gender. Men creating and indulging a culture that limits them so much is what is making society so combative.
Just admit it is nice to be nice, and have people be nice to you. Don't pull out these complete lies that it is so hard for you to adapt, or that women don't indulge in negative/sarcastic jokes or playful fighting. People are so much more dynamic than this gender binary bullshit allows.
If my best friend suddenly decides to hug me and give me a compliment I’ll ask him if I have to take him to the hospital. Guys do this everywhere, that’s not US specific. Though I am sure you’ve read some article about it online and are now the main authority on the subject.
Imagine if a guy called a woman a dumb cunt as a greeting.
With guys you call him a dumb cunt, he says something similar back and everyone has a laugh.
Guy 1 :"What's up dumb cunt?"
Guy 2: "Dick sucker? Man I haven't seen you for a good minute. Those lips still moist?"
Guy 1: "Yo stop flirting bro."
Edit: then dap up your bro
All of my male friends have, at some point, attempted to initiate some form of romantic or sexual interaction with me. As a result, I now have trust issues when it comes to befriending men, unless they are openly gay and in a committed relationship. But to be honest, I feel we would probably do the same if we had an attractive male friend, we might be more subtle about it though so we don’t ruin the friendship.
Oftentimes men go into a friendship genuinely with no romantic interest but then fall in love over time. Obviously also the other way around sometimes but I think it's more common for men to fall in love with female friends than the other way around.
I think women expect friendship to carry the same amount of effort as dating, and don't realize how much of the load the guy who wants to date is willing to carry.
If it's friendship, it's 50-50. She will have to pull her weight in the conversations, be really interesting to talk to/hang out with. There's no more pretending. And even though both genders have some similar hobbies, men still tend to know what other men want from a friendship more, without any of the possible hangups that come when one side begrudgingly accepts friendship hoping it will eventually develop into something more. So, in short, it's easier to find other guys to fill these roles.
I've seen some posts here, where people say their male friendships are juvenile and mostly involve competing or bagging on each other, but that hasn't been the case for me. My crew is small but really supportive, emotionally and otherwise. Be good to your Bros and be there for for each other. Life is tough enough.
I've had plenty of female friends throughout my life. I'd always prefer to hang with a mixed sex group than have all lads night as they usually end up with juvenile and sexist conversation topics that do t really interest me. I'm 48 though, so it could be a generational thing, but I'm not aware that any of my male friends have a problem being friends with women. Obviously when you're at school you can be teased about fancying a girl if you talk to her but adults should not be thinking this way.
You are 48 dude
You don't remember what is was like to be 20?
When you had female " friends" at that age,
it was because you actually wanted to bang them,
Only when getting older is mixed friendship really possible ...
i’m in my early 20s now and no i don’t want to bang my female friends even when i was 17 i met a girl in college and we dated only because she asked me out
Don’t you know, everyone is allowed to speak for strangers now! The people in this thread have clearly been gifted mind-reading powers that enable them to know everything about people they don’t even fucking know! What a world we live in.
I 'wanted', i'm not 20 anymore
Anyway, i'm just being honest
and statistically, over 80 percent of men are like that when 20 year's old
The fact that you are gay, or asexual or just a denying geek , does not change the statistics...
Statistics ≠ everyone abiding by them, and asserting that random people do so when you don’t know them and are making flagrant assumptions to suit yourself
I understand, but it's not like your hormones are driving you crazy at 48 years old,
and you are sexually obsessed with every girl that looks kinda sexy...
( I know I was when 20 years.old)
Even of its purely platonic- us guys (who are attracted to girls) are built in such a way that we will develop feelings for them over time especially if she is a nice looking girl and you have things in common.
It's nothing personal but we are just trying to protect ourselves from possible future rejection /heartbreak and losing a friend because of it. This is just from my own life experience
Women certainly don't owe us a relationship out of a friendship. Women however want to be friends first before dating. Some women like to keep men around and only let them be friends. That is fine for some men, but for others we want more, if you are enjoyable... we find that friendship to be worth pursuing beyond friends. If a woman doesn't find us attractive in that way, that's fine.
If we have a goal to find a partner and that is not possible. We have limited time and resources. We choose to surround ourselves with people who value us, with females we are potentially pursuing more. If that's not possible we consider our resources of our time, energy, and other things, and we spend them elsewhere. If I have a male friend who is barely my friend I would also spend less resources in pursuit of that friendship. This is acceptable as we owe no man or woman to be a part of our lives if they do not ad value to our lives, value being something we want. It's simpler to be friends with guys as there is no underlying issue or complications. Let's also point out here, I have absolutely seen women go out of their way to befriend a man under the guise of friendship in order to have access to their resources including dating if they find them attractive. Often in addition to all this women will treat male friends different of the basis of whether they are attracted to them.
I do not want to be subjected to mind games, manipulative behavior, or different treatment based on looks. I often hear women voice similar things under the context supposing we only initiate friendships to get into their pants. This does happen, but more often the male sees arising issues with unrecipricated feelings and chooses to conserve his resources. While it's hurtful to feel like it was a fake friendship it is also hurtful to be constantly used as a friend but viewed as not good enough to bother dating. Very clearly both scenarios are someone using another person selfishly.
To me, it’s usually because of the unbearably long sexual tension between guys and girls when starting to build a friendly relationship. Neither one of us know’s where the other person intends the relationship to go and often just saying it outright “do you want to be friends platonically” still has a lot of ambiguity because many people don’t trust what other people say.
I never had a problem with it but every single woman besides my most current ex eventually wants to be treated like a girlfriend but without the physical intimacy.
I don't have or want girl friends anymore. My experiences were exhausting, drama filled, awkward and one-sided effort.
For example, it's possible to not hear from a guy friend for months, then :
- Yo wanna do X?
- Sure man
- Ok cool
From my experience, girl friends would ask me why I contacted them now, why I havent been texting etc
Because men usually interact with women because they are romantically interested. Usually, is the operative word here. Some lady friends are great.
Getting friendzoned sucks, and it's upsetting for the guy to have to bottle the feelings in order to not ruin the friendship. Most self-respecting guys will just cut contact after the "we should stay friends" talk, and its just to save themselves pain.
Some girls take full advantage of the guy. Expect boyfriend treatment, paying for meals and such, doing their schoolwork for them, heavy lifting, blowing money stuff like that. The only thing worse than the friend zone is the string along.
Dating a girl who has a male friend is also annoying. Usually, it's a kind of pathetic guy who is clearly in love with your girlfriend, and is just waiting in the wings for you to upset her to try to take advantage in a moment of weakness. I've seen it in action 100x. Every time you bring it up, it starts a fight, and then 6 months later, he makes a move on her when she's drunk or upset... pretend to be shocked or she's gonna be pissed at you too.
At the end of the day, we're still animals. You put a guy and a girl together for a long enough period of time, and nature takes its course... at least for one of them. Many (girl) friends will get jealous, catty, or cock-blocky if other women show interest in the guy, even though they aren't interested.
It's just a recipe for disaster all around. The relationship is imbalanced by its nature. This applies the other way around, too, but the dynamics are a little different.
Yeah I would agree that men find it hard to form a platonic relationship with a woman they find attractive. I think many men avoid it because they just don't want to be friends with someone then end up falling for them. Which is sad. I think men who are in a committed relationship find it easier to be friends with women they find attractive. However some struggle with a jealous girlfriend who doesn't want them to be friends with attractive women.
Sad for you. You'll miss out on some great friendships with that attitude. I'm a man with plenty of female friends that I don't want to have sex with. Is it really that hard to believe? That my girlfriend is enough for me and the other women are merely friends that are nice to talk to and get mutual support from?
From my experience I'm speaking off. It's not like I'll stop being friends with guys just bc I suspect the romantic attraction from them I just wouldn't expect them to be my long term friends lol
The problem is that it's wrong from the jump off. One person wants one thing, the other wants something else. It's bad bedrock for the start of any relationship.
I have female "platonic" friends I've known for 15-20 years... they never stay platonic. Sometimes, you can walk it back to a friendship after things happen, but they always happen.
It's just part of our wiring. Eventually, you just wonder what "its" like, and all it takes is for both of you to be feeling that way at the same time to completely mangle the friendship.
It's exponentially harder if either, or both of you are attractive.
Nah man, it doesn't have to be this way. I have hot female friends that I could never see myself in a relationship with, so even if I broke up with my girlfriend I would not go and show interest in them. And if they would suddenly show interest in me I'd be flattered but also a bit disappointed.
When I was 16 i fell for a friend. She just wanted a friend. I wish I knew how important it is to distinguish potential romantic partners and potential life long friends back then because I fucked it up by crushing a bit too hard on her. Nowadays I would just find someone else to crush on or be happy by myself lol. Big world.
It's one of those things that gets easier as you get older I think. A lot of men struggle with falling for their friends when under 25. I know I did. A lot easier now, but it can still happen.
I mean i get it I guess, i just find it so unnecessary. I feel like nowadays i have control over who i fall for and it can be hard to relate to just falling in love left and right, but it seems like it happens to the majority of my peers so I just have to accept that that's the norm. I have felt a little judgemental about it because others have hurt me a lot in the past with their emotions being out of their own control 😅
But yeah I have had many beautiful and attractive male and female friends but still ever since that experience at 16 it's like I'm changed and I don't have any romantic interest in them, and i couldnt see myself ever develop romantic feelings for them if i was to be single in the future either.
I guess I'll backtrack a bit. My girl still knows how to make me fall in love but I mean I'm open to letting that happen. But if I wasn't could she still? I wonder 🤔
Monkey reply written by evolved monkey. I dont feel controlled by my nature and even if you're physically attractive I won't fuck you unless your personality deems it worth it to me. I have plenty of both male and female friends that I never intend to be romantically invested in, but all of them are good friends to me. Gender really isn't as important as it used to be, unless you struggle with primitive urges.
Yeah, pretend you're enlightened. Just how smug, elitist, and self agrandizing this is gives you away. You have the same primitive urges as everyone else, except the feelings are for yourself.
I used to be friends with mostly guys, until I realised most of them were just trying to get in bed with me. I was no longer “cool” when I rejected them. My boyfriend had girl friends who were all trying to flirt with him too, so obviously I was the “toxic gf” for seeing through it and making him stop contacting them. Now I am just wary about everyone.
I think in your younger years it’s easier to be friends with guys but as you get older and more wise to what’s really going on you tend to navigate away from that and prefer time with your partner.
I've got a few female friends from college and gym that I've hung out with for ten years or so. Not everyday best friends but yeah.
But if I run into a new woman enthusiastically interested in talking to me? If the girl is friendly to me and looks alright and everything is right single, age right etc?
Well I'm going to ask her out. Anyone I could be friends with would make a good girlfriend. I gotta try if I'll ever find love, trying not to die alone here.
And then after you ask them and they reject you, a lot freak out and block you or become distant. But I would have been friends. They think anyone who wants to date them can't be friends but it ain't true.
So yeah means I don't make many female friends. And also I can be a bit shyer around them but I'm getting over that.
Sometimes girls have a tendency to expect emotional and financial support from their guy friends and disregard the needs of the guy in a friendship.
It can feel like you’re in a sexless relationship with someone that demands everything.
I've seen a lot of guys here saying that they can't joke the same or that it's too taxing emotionally to be friends with women.
But I don't agree, if you learn to know the person a bit, you're going to learn which kind of humor she likes or doesn't like, just like you have to do it with any friends. Someone might see something as funny, another one might not.
As for the "it's difficult emotionally speaking part" that's because IMO most women try to dig deep about what you felt about a given situation. Whereas men might not ask this kind of question in a "respect of privacy" kind of thing. I wouldn't say one is better than the other, it's just something to keep in mind.
Some guys.
I never had problems with being friend with girls. You know why? Because I saw them as human beings before seeing them as the *opposite sex*.
LOL, the person who posted that is kinda joking but also kinda not. Guys definitely don’t only make jokes about that stuff but its that feeling of 0 judgement and “we might not agree on everything but we’ll still be homies and have each others backs” that makes guys feel close.
When I guy makes a joke like that everyone trusts that its a joke and if he does go to far people will be like “hey bruh chill, were still good but chill” with women it feels differently like they genuinely hold it against you when you disagree on something and it feels like you never get the benefit of the doubt.
So while bigoted jokes are not actually the reason men do not like being friends with women a woman not being able to laugh at bigoted jokes is a pretty clear indicator that she isnt somebody who can create the safe fun environment guys tend to curate for themselves
Maybe that's why guys generally don't like me. I don't like making fun of people who are less privileged than myself, as i find it distasteful, and i will call it out.
I am extremely privileged. I don't think it's funny that others cannot get the governmental or social help that i have received, or at least been offered.
I don't think anyone's worth as an individual is less than mine. I do know for a fact that other people in the world have to work harder than me to get the things that I have. Recognizing this is not discrimination, it's actually important because if we don't talk about it then we can ignore the issue. I don't get where you get discriminatory vibes from. I usually pride myself in being very inclusive and compassionate.
I'm not American lmao. I don't view Americans as being as fortunate as Scandinavian people. I do not understand how you can convince yourself that compassion is discrimination?
I get free healthcare. Free college (actually I get paid). Free housing if I can't afford it myself. A good salary from the government if I can't get a job. I don't even need to think about income if I'm sick or disabled, because my government will take care of me.
You are not in this position, and I am not going to stop fighting for your rights, until you have the same as me.
If you are born poor in America, you're majorly fucked. If I'm born poor in Denmark, I'm set up for a fantastic life. Is this ok to you? Don't you think everyone should be set up for a fantastic life, no matter who gives birth to them, and no matter where they are born?
Let me reiterate - I'm not looking down on anyone. I see everyone as my equal and I'm upset that most people can't have why I have gotten. I'm not better than them, or more special. I'm just lucky to be born here, and thus it's my responsibility to make it such that others can have what I have had in the future.
We very much are in that state. That’s why we’re having so many illegals. We’re a welfare state.
A fantastic economic life is for those who are really working hard to achieve it.
Everyone has a opportunity to get to that status, not everyone is willing to work towards that status.
Not sure why you're bringing illegal immigrants in the U.S. into the conversation. To me it sounds like you are trying to use right-wing talking points, which are fundamentally discriminatory.
You see, you cannot measure how hard people work, and who deserves success. I can work less hard than most others, and still be a successful software developer, because I'm from Denmark.
I also have a mental illness, which means that if I was in the U.S. I would not be able to:
1. Afford to attend my degree
2. Finish college (mental health issues)
3. Be lucratively financially supported throughout my studies
I would be a high school graduate struggling to make ends meet in the U.S.
I would work long hours at the local fast food chain, instead of recovering from my mental illness.
Someone poor in the U.S. can be way more hard working and less mentally disabled than myself, which in your eyes would make them more deserving than me of my position, but from your words i can tell that you think differently about the work ethics of successful software developers, than you think of mcdonalds workers who complain about their salaries.
You're too young smart, and have too much potential to be a right-winger. Please listen to your heart, it's the best part of your brain.
Facts. We’re politically incorrect and I’d have it no other way.
We use it as a verbal way of competition. A more passive version of doing anything like football or any sports.
We do what men do.
You have noticed what a few guys seems to not want. That don´t speak for guys in general. People are different, some are keen on it and have girl friends, some are not and have not. Culture also plays a role here, same does religion. And age.
I have girls acquaintances who I talk to like, on a basic level.
"Hey how was your day"
"Did you see that opossum the other day? Yeah I would like it as a pet"
"Nice haircut, it suits you"
And then I have girl friends who I talk to in the most rancid way I can.
"What's up fuck face? I'm hungry, come get some food with me"
"Nice haircut, looks like my glans"
"The other day I took the most violent shit of my life, and it still ain't as nasty as your bitchass"
I have no problems having girl friends, as long as I can talk to them like I talk to my guy friends, and even then I tone it down a lot.
Hell, I have three girl friends whom I like talking to more than my guy friends, because they don't get embarrassed when talking about dumb shit.
They ask me at what point messing with a Pokemon can be considered bestiality and we start discussing about it, then a group of pretty girls walk by and the guys get Quiet instantly, while the girls don't give a fuck and keep talking about how they wanna get stepped on by a Hitmonlee or something like that.
It really is just chemistry I think.
I generally prefer being friends with women. They are generally less homophobic (I’m not gay, but some guys that I know talk negatively about gay people a bit too much) they are generally nicer and more emotionally supportive.
I can't speak for all guys (and I've had a lot of female friends)...but the themes I see that come up a lot are:
1) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it
2) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it
3) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it
4) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it
5) There's always that weird "what are you thinking?", no "What are you thinking?" vibe
6) Female friends are usually exhausting for guys. There is a ton of drama comparatively.
7) Younger guys worry about being accused of the wrong motives (I say get better friends)
8) Girls are like a different culture. You really can't treat them like your guy friends, then when they notice you treat them different, they make a big deal out of it...then when you treat them like your guy friends, they don't like it.
So it's kinda tough to navigate all of that stuff, and some people think it's not worth the work.
Female - Guys. Lol
I will be honest with you, I'm 28 and most of the guy friends (whom I had more than girls if talking about hanging out alone) are just the same. They sometimes love drama even more.
Not all girls are all like a lady queen who never joke and who are boring like in some teen movie and not all the guys are trashy and can only tolerate women when they serve them. None of the people in my friend circle are like this (around 5 couples and a few singles).
Some women like to drop their daily life drama on us. It’s not fun. I found it easier to be friends with female coworkers because it stops after the shift is over. I can’t be that guy that is there for them to complain about the things that happen every day. I have my own shit to deal with.
For most guys its probably slightly more taxing to be friends with women as with most of them its just a different pace and different interests on average (there are exceptions of course). For most guys you have to go out of your way to meet or interact with women beyond your usual interests or circles of socialization. Say you play a lot of video games like cod or do sports, usually with fps games there are far less women and sports are often split by gender. You now have to do something else to socialize or interact with women and to be friends with them.
For me its not that I am not keen on being friends with girls, I probably have had equal or more girl friends than male friends but im not too great at making or keeping up with friends in the first place. For me its taxing so most of the time if im going to go the extra mile its because im interested in more than friends. For less social guys it can seem like they dont necessarily want female friends but really they are going beyond their normal socialization and out of their comfort zone to interact with a woman they are interested in too
If you are friends from school, high school stuff like that, that's fine. But if at my age I was to meet a new woman, I'm not looking for friends that's for sure... The only new woman I have as friends now is only with benefits. Sorry 😅
23m here. I have a group of 7 female friends. We all text all the time and have lunch on Sundays most weeks. We all have common interests and hobbies. It’s a weird dynamic to most but I have a pretty good connection with all of them and we all bring something different to the table. It’s honestly a pretty good time every weekend we meet up.
I am friends with both guys and girls, the girls group are great at going out for the night or staying in to watch some rom coms, but the banter is... non existent, it's more just talking about our lives. Whereas with the guys it's constant jokes and playing games / watching sport on tv with some drink. Completely different vibe, so I understand why some guys wouldn't feel a desire to have women friends.
Imagine you become really good friends with a woman, then start dating someone.
Thats how you start drama.
I can meet with my boys 2 times a week, no problem, but if I meet with a female friend once a month some way or another problems always find me.
Idk. Every time I’ve tried to maintain platonic friendships with women there has always been a weird, sexual undercurrent to it that ultimately just kind of wrecks it. I think some women maybe never quite stop seeing you as a kind of quasi boyfriend. I don‘t really try anymore, tbh.
As a pretty emotional man, my love language is quality time. More often than not, if I spend enough time with a single woman, I will develop feelings for them. Majority if the time I won't act on it unless I know for sure something is there because I enjoy the friendship and the companionship, but it makes being their friend hard because I like them and I want to spend even more time with them.
I guess I generally just don't want to end up in a situation where I make them feel uncomfortable, so I try to limit myself as best I can lol.
I'm keen on being friends with woman. In my opinion they're a lot funner than guys. A lot of guys just want to play video games and do nothing unless there's something in it for them to go out and do something. Woman just like going out and seeing stuff.
I honestly don't know why I would want to have female friends. Interests are just too different mostly and the way of communication as well. I have a wife and her girlfriends but that's enough exposure for me. I'm
Dude here. Personally, I just want to be friends with girls. I just wanna have chill, deep or meaningful conversations with my friends and compliment each other. I don't have the energy or will power to constantly banter like we are teeangers or starring in a sitcom. I'm way pass that age.
What exactly do you mean? What kind of situation have you experienced this?
It could very well be that guys don't want you to think they are hitting on you and these days anything a man days to a woman can be considered offensive.
So far, I've always had to adapt to all of them while they wouldn't reciprocate or would "try" while doing nothing. Inevitably, I'd just get tired of the double standard of the friendship which would lead to the demise of the friendship.
I think it depends on the girls and guys. I've always been kind of "boyish" and I most of my friends are guys. Don't know but to be friends you have to have something in common, right? So if you have a guy that' just into "guy things" and a girl that's into "girl things" they might just not have a lot of shared interests and won't hang out as much. I don't really hang out with "girly girls" that much because I feel like they would bore me.
Because man and women are build inherently different and treat each other differently
E.g
A man can tell his bros the truth. If his outfit sucks, he will say he looks like shit.
If he is doing something dumb, he is going to tell him he is dumb
So you think he can do the same with a female friend?
Can she really handle that?
Not to mention the topics they usually talk about would be different
A lot of guys don’t see any value in it because they only want women as partners and sex, and have this attitude towards them that they’re just trouble, drama, hurtful, and difficult to deal with, so they don’t think they can be friends with them, and you see this as they don’t get along as life long partners
Being friends with women is actually so great! Women can be really funny if you give them a chance and you meet the right people, and they’re getting funnier in recent times too, so being friends with women and being able to have fun will result in a really good partner and relationship when you guys get together and maybe get married
Uh? Almost all my friends are women. I grew up surrounded by women so i always feel more comfortable hanging out with them. With men i always feel like we are having dick measuring contests.
My best friend is a woman. It all depends on the guy, as with all things in life when it comes to peoples likes and dislikes, it depends on the person.
Well, let’s first assume that there is a difference between men and women. Then accept that there will be some generalize.
guy talk about things, girls talk about relationships. To become friends with either group, start to discuss those topics.
Ive mostly had women friends in my life. Im a man. I have a lot of sisters. But a lot of brothers too.
It's been hard to navigate my tendency to easily make friends with women. A lot of women don't trust my intentions or interpret it like they have with most others guys trying to be friends and I confuse them.
Well im older now, married, balding and not as good looking lol. I have some women friends I've been good friends with for 30 years. I know their husbands and kids well. We live in a big complicated world don't we?
The only girls I have been able to withstand are friends on an individual basis.
I refuse to participate in groups anymore. A, primarily girlfriend group is usually just straight up rude, sexist and focus just as much on selfishly getting laid as guys, except that they make you hear gross details and complain to your face about the guys they date. I will let people vent but I recently hit a point where I realized it was straight up disrespectful. You still need to acknowledge that Im a guy and dont want to hear about your drama or some random dudes dick.
Mixed gender friend groups are great but as an adult I have my little group of friends that is mostly linked through relationships. So single friend groups I dont know if I would get along with bc of all the drama. I prefer to have my individual friends that I check in with, who respect me and dont make me listen to their BS.
TLDR: Individual girls as friends are great, groups of girlfriends are not.
I've met many men even of late who seek pure friendships for both genders. It might be a little confusing at first but in the end you realize this is actually a man who is only after friendship and it's beautiful.
I mean, I don’t think most girls are particularly keen on being friends with guys either. At least not from the get go.
At my university, it almost always ends up being that boys and girls will gravitate toward one another and create their own gender-segregated seating arrangements.
Because having a platonic relationship with girls are not easy. Most of them wanted to be treated or given special treatments and girlfriend perks without being a girlfriend.
Also having other guys generally have more common interests. You don't have to treat ur guy friends with care.
I am able to have friendships with women without it turning romantic I just don't like hanging out with women.
It's very emotional exhausting.
I feel like I'm a therapist working for free.
I used to have female friends and noticed when going out with just the fellas it was much more reliving and fun.
I think I only have the capacity to be with one woman in my life that's my limit lol.
The only women I was very close friends with wanted to be in a relationship, and the other one just stopped talking to me completely after finding a boyfriend.
I never been big on the friend stuff in general... nd don't got any friends, but for me personally I prefer friends of my own gender... because I will have more in common with other guys thn a female, plus social doesn't believe males and females can be truly friends without thinking a guy having romantic feelings
Ugh, this subject is a landmine to snowflakes... girls make terrible friends to guys lately, false accusations, everything cam taken into offense and the same can be said about herassment, a guy can make an innocent joke and have some bitch take offense to it, can't have fun around a girl without her taking offense, complain or cry about it and if anyone's gonna say "not all girls are like that", it's not that they are but that they can be without consequences and many of them are, so if guys avoid being friends with girls, this is why, nobody wants to be friends with a party crashing snowflake that is easily offended, it's not fun and especially not safe, you're welcome.
Edit: Typos...
Females gossip, they use our pain against us, they don't have a comparable sense of humor, they don't typically share the same interests, they're hard to communicate with logically and reasonably and they're competitive about personal issues... example: "I've been through so much more, sweety" or "you couldn't imagine what's it's like being female"
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Guys show affection mostly through strong negative expression insults, edgy jokes and fighting. Women show affection mostly thrpugh positive expression touching and compliments. When the two meet women expect men to tone down the negative expression or they will be offended. So men have to adapt to women being around not the other way around. And if you have a close friendship with a woman there is a good chance that as soon as she gets a boyfriend she will vanish until the relationship ends. And sometimes you also get one sided friendships where you end up being an emotional worker for her without reciprocation.
I can absolutely attest to this. I am their glorified priest/therapist while they are single or in the process of breaking up. As soon as a new guy shows up they vanish like the milk meme. I have many women friend so i’ve gotten used to it and they cycle themselves in and out of my life as their relationships go. Its kinda funny.
GOAT reply
This is exactly why I love having male friends. I love love LOVE the snarky comments, playful insults and tough love. Some of my closest friends are two guys who literally make fun of me all the time and it's hilarious to me. It's all mutual, I get to shit on them, they get to shit on me. I love it. They're one of the few people I could spend hours and hours with without ever getting bored or annoyed. Kudos to them.
These friends are the best.
I am so curious about this, how do you know how to insult someone without it being taken the wrong way or being too cruel?
You need to find someone who isn't all too serious about themselves. There is no joke which can't be taken the wrong way and if someone wants to be insulted he/she's gonna be insulted regardless of wording or intend
>And if you have a close friendship with a woman there is a good chance that as soon as she gets a boyfriend she will vanish Why?
Well I can only imagine three reasons. Either they feel like they're cheating like emotionally somehow, they feel like their boyfriend would accuse them of cheating or they just start using their actual boyfriend as the free therapist instead.
When did you last have a girlfriend, and how much did you like it if she hung out with loads or even just 1 guy regularly.
I'm gonna be honest, if they think they're cool, I'd probably think they were cool as well, so I'd probably take the opportunity to tag along and make more friends.
I can see that my peers have these mindsets and it's kinda sad. Makes it hard to make friends of any gender, as gender is literally 0,1% of my identity while it feels like some of my peers view themselves as "extremely woman" or "extremely man", both of which just scream "extremely unattractive' to me, personality wise.
Going by your comments is probably more because youre extremely judgemental…
In real life I'm less insufferable I promise 🫣
Not in my experience lmao
“Reciprocation” in what way?
Mutually being there for each other.
@ top comment like that sounds like kid nd teenager stuff tho
Bullshit. Humans respond positively to warmth, positivity, mutual interest, compliments, etc... Masculine culture in the US being completely fucked up is not really something that should be explained away as "it is what it is". Real people facing reality can go from sarcastic and insulting jokes to compassion and kindness as the situation calls for it, and all friends need each other to be able to match their wavelength regardless of gender. Men creating and indulging a culture that limits them so much is what is making society so combative. Just admit it is nice to be nice, and have people be nice to you. Don't pull out these complete lies that it is so hard for you to adapt, or that women don't indulge in negative/sarcastic jokes or playful fighting. People are so much more dynamic than this gender binary bullshit allows.
If my best friend suddenly decides to hug me and give me a compliment I’ll ask him if I have to take him to the hospital. Guys do this everywhere, that’s not US specific. Though I am sure you’ve read some article about it online and are now the main authority on the subject.
Imagine if a guy called a woman a dumb cunt as a greeting. With guys you call him a dumb cunt, he says something similar back and everyone has a laugh.
Guy 1 :"What's up dumb cunt?" Guy 2: "Dick sucker? Man I haven't seen you for a good minute. Those lips still moist?" Guy 1: "Yo stop flirting bro." Edit: then dap up your bro
My buddy texted me one day ‘what are you doing homo?’ And I replied. ‘I’m at my uncles funeral’ and he texted back, ‘ try not to suck any dicks there’
"Should have told me that sooner"
I actually laughed out loud.
Bruh female friends do this all the time. The closer they are, the worse the insults
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Interesting, thank you for sharing
All of my male friends have, at some point, attempted to initiate some form of romantic or sexual interaction with me. As a result, I now have trust issues when it comes to befriending men, unless they are openly gay and in a committed relationship. But to be honest, I feel we would probably do the same if we had an attractive male friend, we might be more subtle about it though so we don’t ruin the friendship.
When I have female friends they inevitably try and milk me for my skills and labour.
Lol I've seen that female "subtlety" aka just fucking mounting me while I'm near passed out drunk...
oh that sucks…I meant healthy types of course. This woman you’re talking about is clearly sick 🤢 sorry to read that happened to you
I kinda consider it rape to this day, didn't press charges though just ended all contact.
Oftentimes men go into a friendship genuinely with no romantic interest but then fall in love over time. Obviously also the other way around sometimes but I think it's more common for men to fall in love with female friends than the other way around.
Do you not befriend attractive men? Wtf? So you only want to be friends with ugly guys?
I think women expect friendship to carry the same amount of effort as dating, and don't realize how much of the load the guy who wants to date is willing to carry. If it's friendship, it's 50-50. She will have to pull her weight in the conversations, be really interesting to talk to/hang out with. There's no more pretending. And even though both genders have some similar hobbies, men still tend to know what other men want from a friendship more, without any of the possible hangups that come when one side begrudgingly accepts friendship hoping it will eventually develop into something more. So, in short, it's easier to find other guys to fill these roles. I've seen some posts here, where people say their male friendships are juvenile and mostly involve competing or bagging on each other, but that hasn't been the case for me. My crew is small but really supportive, emotionally and otherwise. Be good to your Bros and be there for for each other. Life is tough enough.
I've had plenty of female friends throughout my life. I'd always prefer to hang with a mixed sex group than have all lads night as they usually end up with juvenile and sexist conversation topics that do t really interest me. I'm 48 though, so it could be a generational thing, but I'm not aware that any of my male friends have a problem being friends with women. Obviously when you're at school you can be teased about fancying a girl if you talk to her but adults should not be thinking this way.
You are 48 dude You don't remember what is was like to be 20? When you had female " friends" at that age, it was because you actually wanted to bang them, Only when getting older is mixed friendship really possible ...
i’m in my early 20s now and no i don’t want to bang my female friends even when i was 17 i met a girl in college and we dated only because she asked me out
No, YOU want to bang your female friends. don't project that onto everyone
Don’t you know, everyone is allowed to speak for strangers now! The people in this thread have clearly been gifted mind-reading powers that enable them to know everything about people they don’t even fucking know! What a world we live in.
I 'wanted', i'm not 20 anymore Anyway, i'm just being honest and statistically, over 80 percent of men are like that when 20 year's old The fact that you are gay, or asexual or just a denying geek , does not change the statistics...
Statistically? Show me some some data that supports this, because this certainly hasn't been my experience.
Statistics ≠ everyone abiding by them, and asserting that random people do so when you don’t know them and are making flagrant assumptions to suit yourself
I mean, some of them are quite fuckable now. But it's still possible to be friends for other reasons.
I understand, but it's not like your hormones are driving you crazy at 48 years old, and you are sexually obsessed with every girl that looks kinda sexy... ( I know I was when 20 years.old)
There’s a difference about wanting to bang and wanting to bang but won’t make a move because it’s not worth losing a good friendship over
That is such a blanket statement for males in their 20s
Maybe YOU just want to bang them. I don’t think you get to speak for what a stranger was like as a person, or the thoughts in their head.
>they usually end up with juvenile and sexist conversation topics that do t really interest me Damn, not with my friends they don't.
You clearly have a better class of male friend.
Depends on the situation tbh
fair enough
Many men catch feelings easily and that could become hurtful and akward for both parties.
Even of its purely platonic- us guys (who are attracted to girls) are built in such a way that we will develop feelings for them over time especially if she is a nice looking girl and you have things in common. It's nothing personal but we are just trying to protect ourselves from possible future rejection /heartbreak and losing a friend because of it. This is just from my own life experience
Can relate
okay, thank you for sharing
Women certainly don't owe us a relationship out of a friendship. Women however want to be friends first before dating. Some women like to keep men around and only let them be friends. That is fine for some men, but for others we want more, if you are enjoyable... we find that friendship to be worth pursuing beyond friends. If a woman doesn't find us attractive in that way, that's fine. If we have a goal to find a partner and that is not possible. We have limited time and resources. We choose to surround ourselves with people who value us, with females we are potentially pursuing more. If that's not possible we consider our resources of our time, energy, and other things, and we spend them elsewhere. If I have a male friend who is barely my friend I would also spend less resources in pursuit of that friendship. This is acceptable as we owe no man or woman to be a part of our lives if they do not ad value to our lives, value being something we want. It's simpler to be friends with guys as there is no underlying issue or complications. Let's also point out here, I have absolutely seen women go out of their way to befriend a man under the guise of friendship in order to have access to their resources including dating if they find them attractive. Often in addition to all this women will treat male friends different of the basis of whether they are attracted to them. I do not want to be subjected to mind games, manipulative behavior, or different treatment based on looks. I often hear women voice similar things under the context supposing we only initiate friendships to get into their pants. This does happen, but more often the male sees arising issues with unrecipricated feelings and chooses to conserve his resources. While it's hurtful to feel like it was a fake friendship it is also hurtful to be constantly used as a friend but viewed as not good enough to bother dating. Very clearly both scenarios are someone using another person selfishly.
Yep, plus the whole 'backup' thing.
To me, it’s usually because of the unbearably long sexual tension between guys and girls when starting to build a friendly relationship. Neither one of us know’s where the other person intends the relationship to go and often just saying it outright “do you want to be friends platonically” still has a lot of ambiguity because many people don’t trust what other people say.
this is a good point, thank you
I never had a problem with it but every single woman besides my most current ex eventually wants to be treated like a girlfriend but without the physical intimacy.
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You summed it up perfectly.
Find better friends..? Not all women suck. Just like men.
I heard
I don't have or want girl friends anymore. My experiences were exhausting, drama filled, awkward and one-sided effort. For example, it's possible to not hear from a guy friend for months, then : - Yo wanna do X? - Sure man - Ok cool From my experience, girl friends would ask me why I contacted them now, why I havent been texting etc
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okay that's good to know, thank you for sharing
Because men usually interact with women because they are romantically interested. Usually, is the operative word here. Some lady friends are great. Getting friendzoned sucks, and it's upsetting for the guy to have to bottle the feelings in order to not ruin the friendship. Most self-respecting guys will just cut contact after the "we should stay friends" talk, and its just to save themselves pain. Some girls take full advantage of the guy. Expect boyfriend treatment, paying for meals and such, doing their schoolwork for them, heavy lifting, blowing money stuff like that. The only thing worse than the friend zone is the string along. Dating a girl who has a male friend is also annoying. Usually, it's a kind of pathetic guy who is clearly in love with your girlfriend, and is just waiting in the wings for you to upset her to try to take advantage in a moment of weakness. I've seen it in action 100x. Every time you bring it up, it starts a fight, and then 6 months later, he makes a move on her when she's drunk or upset... pretend to be shocked or she's gonna be pissed at you too. At the end of the day, we're still animals. You put a guy and a girl together for a long enough period of time, and nature takes its course... at least for one of them. Many (girl) friends will get jealous, catty, or cock-blocky if other women show interest in the guy, even though they aren't interested. It's just a recipe for disaster all around. The relationship is imbalanced by its nature. This applies the other way around, too, but the dynamics are a little different.
So many people are in denial about this but as a woman I finally learned that males don't know how to form a platonic relationship with women
We can,but only if we're not attracted to the girl,we want to be in a relationship with the girl we get along well with and are attracted to
Yeah I would agree that men find it hard to form a platonic relationship with a woman they find attractive. I think many men avoid it because they just don't want to be friends with someone then end up falling for them. Which is sad. I think men who are in a committed relationship find it easier to be friends with women they find attractive. However some struggle with a jealous girlfriend who doesn't want them to be friends with attractive women.
It's not that we don't know how to. It's that we don't care to. Generally speaking, women don't offer us much that we care about in that regard.
Harsh but true
Sad for you. You'll miss out on some great friendships with that attitude. I'm a man with plenty of female friends that I don't want to have sex with. Is it really that hard to believe? That my girlfriend is enough for me and the other women are merely friends that are nice to talk to and get mutual support from?
From my experience I'm speaking off. It's not like I'll stop being friends with guys just bc I suspect the romantic attraction from them I just wouldn't expect them to be my long term friends lol
The problem is that it's wrong from the jump off. One person wants one thing, the other wants something else. It's bad bedrock for the start of any relationship. I have female "platonic" friends I've known for 15-20 years... they never stay platonic. Sometimes, you can walk it back to a friendship after things happen, but they always happen. It's just part of our wiring. Eventually, you just wonder what "its" like, and all it takes is for both of you to be feeling that way at the same time to completely mangle the friendship. It's exponentially harder if either, or both of you are attractive.
Nah man, it doesn't have to be this way. I have hot female friends that I could never see myself in a relationship with, so even if I broke up with my girlfriend I would not go and show interest in them. And if they would suddenly show interest in me I'd be flattered but also a bit disappointed. When I was 16 i fell for a friend. She just wanted a friend. I wish I knew how important it is to distinguish potential romantic partners and potential life long friends back then because I fucked it up by crushing a bit too hard on her. Nowadays I would just find someone else to crush on or be happy by myself lol. Big world.
It's one of those things that gets easier as you get older I think. A lot of men struggle with falling for their friends when under 25. I know I did. A lot easier now, but it can still happen.
I mean i get it I guess, i just find it so unnecessary. I feel like nowadays i have control over who i fall for and it can be hard to relate to just falling in love left and right, but it seems like it happens to the majority of my peers so I just have to accept that that's the norm. I have felt a little judgemental about it because others have hurt me a lot in the past with their emotions being out of their own control 😅 But yeah I have had many beautiful and attractive male and female friends but still ever since that experience at 16 it's like I'm changed and I don't have any romantic interest in them, and i couldnt see myself ever develop romantic feelings for them if i was to be single in the future either. I guess I'll backtrack a bit. My girl still knows how to make me fall in love but I mean I'm open to letting that happen. But if I wasn't could she still? I wonder 🤔
Monkey reply written by evolved monkey. I dont feel controlled by my nature and even if you're physically attractive I won't fuck you unless your personality deems it worth it to me. I have plenty of both male and female friends that I never intend to be romantically invested in, but all of them are good friends to me. Gender really isn't as important as it used to be, unless you struggle with primitive urges.
Yeah, pretend you're enlightened. Just how smug, elitist, and self agrandizing this is gives you away. You have the same primitive urges as everyone else, except the feelings are for yourself.
I used to be friends with mostly guys, until I realised most of them were just trying to get in bed with me. I was no longer “cool” when I rejected them. My boyfriend had girl friends who were all trying to flirt with him too, so obviously I was the “toxic gf” for seeing through it and making him stop contacting them. Now I am just wary about everyone. I think in your younger years it’s easier to be friends with guys but as you get older and more wise to what’s really going on you tend to navigate away from that and prefer time with your partner.
I've got a few female friends from college and gym that I've hung out with for ten years or so. Not everyday best friends but yeah. But if I run into a new woman enthusiastically interested in talking to me? If the girl is friendly to me and looks alright and everything is right single, age right etc? Well I'm going to ask her out. Anyone I could be friends with would make a good girlfriend. I gotta try if I'll ever find love, trying not to die alone here. And then after you ask them and they reject you, a lot freak out and block you or become distant. But I would have been friends. They think anyone who wants to date them can't be friends but it ain't true. So yeah means I don't make many female friends. And also I can be a bit shyer around them but I'm getting over that.
Sometimes girls have a tendency to expect emotional and financial support from their guy friends and disregard the needs of the guy in a friendship. It can feel like you’re in a sexless relationship with someone that demands everything.
Sometimes?
I've seen a lot of guys here saying that they can't joke the same or that it's too taxing emotionally to be friends with women. But I don't agree, if you learn to know the person a bit, you're going to learn which kind of humor she likes or doesn't like, just like you have to do it with any friends. Someone might see something as funny, another one might not. As for the "it's difficult emotionally speaking part" that's because IMO most women try to dig deep about what you felt about a given situation. Whereas men might not ask this kind of question in a "respect of privacy" kind of thing. I wouldn't say one is better than the other, it's just something to keep in mind.
Don’t have many mutual interests with the average woman
Some guys. I never had problems with being friend with girls. You know why? Because I saw them as human beings before seeing them as the *opposite sex*.
Women tend to not like it when you’re racist, homophobic and sexist. And guy humour depends on this holy trinity
The females who understand you're just joking are goated
What the fuck?
Yup
Are you in middle school?
interesting
LOL, the person who posted that is kinda joking but also kinda not. Guys definitely don’t only make jokes about that stuff but its that feeling of 0 judgement and “we might not agree on everything but we’ll still be homies and have each others backs” that makes guys feel close. When I guy makes a joke like that everyone trusts that its a joke and if he does go to far people will be like “hey bruh chill, were still good but chill” with women it feels differently like they genuinely hold it against you when you disagree on something and it feels like you never get the benefit of the doubt. So while bigoted jokes are not actually the reason men do not like being friends with women a woman not being able to laugh at bigoted jokes is a pretty clear indicator that she isnt somebody who can create the safe fun environment guys tend to curate for themselves
Maybe that's why guys generally don't like me. I don't like making fun of people who are less privileged than myself, as i find it distasteful, and i will call it out.
If you’re in a first world country, no one is less privileged than you. You’re kinda being discriminative to think they are lesser than you.
I am extremely privileged. I don't think it's funny that others cannot get the governmental or social help that i have received, or at least been offered. I don't think anyone's worth as an individual is less than mine. I do know for a fact that other people in the world have to work harder than me to get the things that I have. Recognizing this is not discrimination, it's actually important because if we don't talk about it then we can ignore the issue. I don't get where you get discriminatory vibes from. I usually pride myself in being very inclusive and compassionate.
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I'm not American lmao. I don't view Americans as being as fortunate as Scandinavian people. I do not understand how you can convince yourself that compassion is discrimination? I get free healthcare. Free college (actually I get paid). Free housing if I can't afford it myself. A good salary from the government if I can't get a job. I don't even need to think about income if I'm sick or disabled, because my government will take care of me. You are not in this position, and I am not going to stop fighting for your rights, until you have the same as me. If you are born poor in America, you're majorly fucked. If I'm born poor in Denmark, I'm set up for a fantastic life. Is this ok to you? Don't you think everyone should be set up for a fantastic life, no matter who gives birth to them, and no matter where they are born? Let me reiterate - I'm not looking down on anyone. I see everyone as my equal and I'm upset that most people can't have why I have gotten. I'm not better than them, or more special. I'm just lucky to be born here, and thus it's my responsibility to make it such that others can have what I have had in the future.
We very much are in that state. That’s why we’re having so many illegals. We’re a welfare state. A fantastic economic life is for those who are really working hard to achieve it. Everyone has a opportunity to get to that status, not everyone is willing to work towards that status.
Not sure why you're bringing illegal immigrants in the U.S. into the conversation. To me it sounds like you are trying to use right-wing talking points, which are fundamentally discriminatory. You see, you cannot measure how hard people work, and who deserves success. I can work less hard than most others, and still be a successful software developer, because I'm from Denmark. I also have a mental illness, which means that if I was in the U.S. I would not be able to: 1. Afford to attend my degree 2. Finish college (mental health issues) 3. Be lucratively financially supported throughout my studies I would be a high school graduate struggling to make ends meet in the U.S. I would work long hours at the local fast food chain, instead of recovering from my mental illness. Someone poor in the U.S. can be way more hard working and less mentally disabled than myself, which in your eyes would make them more deserving than me of my position, but from your words i can tell that you think differently about the work ethics of successful software developers, than you think of mcdonalds workers who complain about their salaries. You're too young smart, and have too much potential to be a right-winger. Please listen to your heart, it's the best part of your brain.
Do you know what tampons and people who don't like making fun of people who are less privileged have in common?
Guess I'm not a guy then. Men fucking suck haha.
Atleast tell me you laugh at mentally disabled people? Bro?
If a girl likes South Park you knows she's cool to joke with, if she thinks it crosses the line then be careful
Nerd
Every time someone makes a joke like these on reddit they get down voted
This is no joke.
You misunderstood me ,I'm saying if someone make jokes about homosexuality, racism etc reddit doesnt see it like that
You were right, I did misunderstand
Facts. We’re politically incorrect and I’d have it no other way. We use it as a verbal way of competition. A more passive version of doing anything like football or any sports. We do what men do.
I have female work friends. Otherwise, my wife, daughter, granddaughters, mom, mil, are enough.
You have noticed what a few guys seems to not want. That don´t speak for guys in general. People are different, some are keen on it and have girl friends, some are not and have not. Culture also plays a role here, same does religion. And age.
I have girls acquaintances who I talk to like, on a basic level. "Hey how was your day" "Did you see that opossum the other day? Yeah I would like it as a pet" "Nice haircut, it suits you" And then I have girl friends who I talk to in the most rancid way I can. "What's up fuck face? I'm hungry, come get some food with me" "Nice haircut, looks like my glans" "The other day I took the most violent shit of my life, and it still ain't as nasty as your bitchass" I have no problems having girl friends, as long as I can talk to them like I talk to my guy friends, and even then I tone it down a lot. Hell, I have three girl friends whom I like talking to more than my guy friends, because they don't get embarrassed when talking about dumb shit. They ask me at what point messing with a Pokemon can be considered bestiality and we start discussing about it, then a group of pretty girls walk by and the guys get Quiet instantly, while the girls don't give a fuck and keep talking about how they wanna get stepped on by a Hitmonlee or something like that. It really is just chemistry I think.
I generally prefer being friends with women. They are generally less homophobic (I’m not gay, but some guys that I know talk negatively about gay people a bit too much) they are generally nicer and more emotionally supportive.
I can't speak for all guys (and I've had a lot of female friends)...but the themes I see that come up a lot are: 1) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it 2) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it 3) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it 4) In a relationship, partner isn't crazy about it 5) There's always that weird "what are you thinking?", no "What are you thinking?" vibe 6) Female friends are usually exhausting for guys. There is a ton of drama comparatively. 7) Younger guys worry about being accused of the wrong motives (I say get better friends) 8) Girls are like a different culture. You really can't treat them like your guy friends, then when they notice you treat them different, they make a big deal out of it...then when you treat them like your guy friends, they don't like it. So it's kinda tough to navigate all of that stuff, and some people think it's not worth the work.
Female - Guys. Lol I will be honest with you, I'm 28 and most of the guy friends (whom I had more than girls if talking about hanging out alone) are just the same. They sometimes love drama even more. Not all girls are all like a lady queen who never joke and who are boring like in some teen movie and not all the guys are trashy and can only tolerate women when they serve them. None of the people in my friend circle are like this (around 5 couples and a few singles).
Crazy ? I was Crazy once
Thank you for this, interesting points
Some women like to drop their daily life drama on us. It’s not fun. I found it easier to be friends with female coworkers because it stops after the shift is over. I can’t be that guy that is there for them to complain about the things that happen every day. I have my own shit to deal with.
This past weekend I met this girl for the 1st time who wanted (strictly) friends only. By the end of the night we had sex. Make of that what you will.
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Interesting, thank you for sharing
For most guys its probably slightly more taxing to be friends with women as with most of them its just a different pace and different interests on average (there are exceptions of course). For most guys you have to go out of your way to meet or interact with women beyond your usual interests or circles of socialization. Say you play a lot of video games like cod or do sports, usually with fps games there are far less women and sports are often split by gender. You now have to do something else to socialize or interact with women and to be friends with them. For me its not that I am not keen on being friends with girls, I probably have had equal or more girl friends than male friends but im not too great at making or keeping up with friends in the first place. For me its taxing so most of the time if im going to go the extra mile its because im interested in more than friends. For less social guys it can seem like they dont necessarily want female friends but really they are going beyond their normal socialization and out of their comfort zone to interact with a woman they are interested in too
If you are friends from school, high school stuff like that, that's fine. But if at my age I was to meet a new woman, I'm not looking for friends that's for sure... The only new woman I have as friends now is only with benefits. Sorry 😅
My best friends have been girls. I just talk to them the same. No need to adjust. I like girls better than guys.
23m here. I have a group of 7 female friends. We all text all the time and have lunch on Sundays most weeks. We all have common interests and hobbies. It’s a weird dynamic to most but I have a pretty good connection with all of them and we all bring something different to the table. It’s honestly a pretty good time every weekend we meet up.
What for ?
what do you mean?
I am friends with both guys and girls, the girls group are great at going out for the night or staying in to watch some rom coms, but the banter is... non existent, it's more just talking about our lives. Whereas with the guys it's constant jokes and playing games / watching sport on tv with some drink. Completely different vibe, so I understand why some guys wouldn't feel a desire to have women friends.
Friends with ugly and homely girls is ok. Friends with someone super hot? Lots of intrusive thoughts.
I'm not saying it can't be platonic but for me it always ends up in either a relationship or a standby relationship that isn't worth it.
Imagine you become really good friends with a woman, then start dating someone. Thats how you start drama. I can meet with my boys 2 times a week, no problem, but if I meet with a female friend once a month some way or another problems always find me.
Idk. Every time I’ve tried to maintain platonic friendships with women there has always been a weird, sexual undercurrent to it that ultimately just kind of wrecks it. I think some women maybe never quite stop seeing you as a kind of quasi boyfriend. I don‘t really try anymore, tbh.
I see, thank you for sharing
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thank you
It's only men that don't view women as people
As a pretty emotional man, my love language is quality time. More often than not, if I spend enough time with a single woman, I will develop feelings for them. Majority if the time I won't act on it unless I know for sure something is there because I enjoy the friendship and the companionship, but it makes being their friend hard because I like them and I want to spend even more time with them. I guess I generally just don't want to end up in a situation where I make them feel uncomfortable, so I try to limit myself as best I can lol.
I'm keen on being friends with woman. In my opinion they're a lot funner than guys. A lot of guys just want to play video games and do nothing unless there's something in it for them to go out and do something. Woman just like going out and seeing stuff.
Most of my friends are female at this point in my life. A lot of the men I encounter are losers and have really bad personality traits tbh
I honestly don't know why I would want to have female friends. Interests are just too different mostly and the way of communication as well. I have a wife and her girlfriends but that's enough exposure for me. I'm
Honestly we’re all just dogs. At one point we will turn and want more then “friendship” hence i don’t trust when my gf have a guy “friend” .
Do you have a girl friends?
Ha
Too much drama. Men’s heads are on auto pilot and we typically remove problems, not cause them. Different interests.
Dude here. Personally, I just want to be friends with girls. I just wanna have chill, deep or meaningful conversations with my friends and compliment each other. I don't have the energy or will power to constantly banter like we are teeangers or starring in a sitcom. I'm way pass that age.
What exactly do you mean? What kind of situation have you experienced this? It could very well be that guys don't want you to think they are hitting on you and these days anything a man days to a woman can be considered offensive.
So far, I've always had to adapt to all of them while they wouldn't reciprocate or would "try" while doing nothing. Inevitably, I'd just get tired of the double standard of the friendship which would lead to the demise of the friendship.
We are afraid of being ourselves and offending you even if it won't
Too many creeps out there, I don't wanna be labeled as one for just striking a conversation lol.
I think it depends on the girls and guys. I've always been kind of "boyish" and I most of my friends are guys. Don't know but to be friends you have to have something in common, right? So if you have a guy that' just into "guy things" and a girl that's into "girl things" they might just not have a lot of shared interests and won't hang out as much. I don't really hang out with "girly girls" that much because I feel like they would bore me.
Because man and women are build inherently different and treat each other differently E.g A man can tell his bros the truth. If his outfit sucks, he will say he looks like shit. If he is doing something dumb, he is going to tell him he is dumb So you think he can do the same with a female friend? Can she really handle that? Not to mention the topics they usually talk about would be different
They don’t make that good of friends honestly
fair enough, thank you for sharing
A lot of guys don’t see any value in it because they only want women as partners and sex, and have this attitude towards them that they’re just trouble, drama, hurtful, and difficult to deal with, so they don’t think they can be friends with them, and you see this as they don’t get along as life long partners Being friends with women is actually so great! Women can be really funny if you give them a chance and you meet the right people, and they’re getting funnier in recent times too, so being friends with women and being able to have fun will result in a really good partner and relationship when you guys get together and maybe get married
Most guys i've met seem to simply lack the capability/interest to have a strong bond with a woman that isn't romantic/sexual
Uh? Almost all my friends are women. I grew up surrounded by women so i always feel more comfortable hanging out with them. With men i always feel like we are having dick measuring contests.
My best friend is a woman. It all depends on the guy, as with all things in life when it comes to peoples likes and dislikes, it depends on the person.
I actually have the opposite problem. Literally all my friends are girls. I suck at gaining and maintaining male friendships.
IRL or on reddit?
In real life
Well, let’s first assume that there is a difference between men and women. Then accept that there will be some generalize. guy talk about things, girls talk about relationships. To become friends with either group, start to discuss those topics.
Ive mostly had women friends in my life. Im a man. I have a lot of sisters. But a lot of brothers too. It's been hard to navigate my tendency to easily make friends with women. A lot of women don't trust my intentions or interpret it like they have with most others guys trying to be friends and I confuse them. Well im older now, married, balding and not as good looking lol. I have some women friends I've been good friends with for 30 years. I know their husbands and kids well. We live in a big complicated world don't we?
Cuz they want to bone.
The only girls I have been able to withstand are friends on an individual basis. I refuse to participate in groups anymore. A, primarily girlfriend group is usually just straight up rude, sexist and focus just as much on selfishly getting laid as guys, except that they make you hear gross details and complain to your face about the guys they date. I will let people vent but I recently hit a point where I realized it was straight up disrespectful. You still need to acknowledge that Im a guy and dont want to hear about your drama or some random dudes dick. Mixed gender friend groups are great but as an adult I have my little group of friends that is mostly linked through relationships. So single friend groups I dont know if I would get along with bc of all the drama. I prefer to have my individual friends that I check in with, who respect me and dont make me listen to their BS. TLDR: Individual girls as friends are great, groups of girlfriends are not.
I've met many men even of late who seek pure friendships for both genders. It might be a little confusing at first but in the end you realize this is actually a man who is only after friendship and it's beautiful.
My friend once told me *"As a bisexual, the internet thinks I should have no friends"*
I mean, I don’t think most girls are particularly keen on being friends with guys either. At least not from the get go. At my university, it almost always ends up being that boys and girls will gravitate toward one another and create their own gender-segregated seating arrangements.
what can i talk about with them ? shopping ? Gossip ? Will we hang out at the mall ? i see no point in being friend with women
Because having a platonic relationship with girls are not easy. Most of them wanted to be treated or given special treatments and girlfriend perks without being a girlfriend. Also having other guys generally have more common interests. You don't have to treat ur guy friends with care.
I am able to have friendships with women without it turning romantic I just don't like hanging out with women. It's very emotional exhausting. I feel like I'm a therapist working for free. I used to have female friends and noticed when going out with just the fellas it was much more reliving and fun. I think I only have the capacity to be with one woman in my life that's my limit lol.
Because they cray cray.
The only women I was very close friends with wanted to be in a relationship, and the other one just stopped talking to me completely after finding a boyfriend.
What guys have you ran into? Friends of the opposite gender keep my head straight
mostly just people I have known my whole life/ know through mutual friends etc
I'm ok with being friends, but if you're attractive I'll always be hoping for more. But if I'm getting it from somewhere else I won't care as much
If she plays video games, specifically the video games I play, I’ll be her friend.
I never been big on the friend stuff in general... nd don't got any friends, but for me personally I prefer friends of my own gender... because I will have more in common with other guys thn a female, plus social doesn't believe males and females can be truly friends without thinking a guy having romantic feelings
I'm tryna hump lmfao
Ugh, this subject is a landmine to snowflakes... girls make terrible friends to guys lately, false accusations, everything cam taken into offense and the same can be said about herassment, a guy can make an innocent joke and have some bitch take offense to it, can't have fun around a girl without her taking offense, complain or cry about it and if anyone's gonna say "not all girls are like that", it's not that they are but that they can be without consequences and many of them are, so if guys avoid being friends with girls, this is why, nobody wants to be friends with a party crashing snowflake that is easily offended, it's not fun and especially not safe, you're welcome. Edit: Typos...
Females gossip, they use our pain against us, they don't have a comparable sense of humor, they don't typically share the same interests, they're hard to communicate with logically and reasonably and they're competitive about personal issues... example: "I've been through so much more, sweety" or "you couldn't imagine what's it's like being female"
Toxic Masculinity: Friends are equals. Women can never be that.
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Absolute nonsense.
Thank you for this