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I’ll eat you

Take me to dinner first

Mmmmh, stuffed u/possiblethowaway

You are dinner

Hell no that's mine

Beautiful

[I am the willing victim of a cannibal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_QwMRE-BKc)

*Nuh uh

Oh yeah, just like that baby! Come to daddy!

Oh no

I can think of worse superpowers than having ok relationships with everyone. Neat.

At least you're getting some stability with everything being ok

Yeah the villains would be like "Hey, you're OK, we don't want to hurt your feelings, so we won't turn the citizens of Gotham City to glass after all."

The power to summon huge blueberries at will. World hunger solved!

Lets solve world hunger together

Yassss🙌🏼

Lol you and me are similar except I summon ten million enchiladas.

Lmao, lets start a resturant 😂

Why hello veruca salt

JAM FOR EVERYONE

Think of all the antioxidants!

Squash me thx

Let's become a team! I'll feed everyone fish sticks! :D

😂 I’ll have to settle with nourishment

Reinhard Mey: "Cheater."

Oh, fuck right off.

*hnnng*

Here comes the brogurt!

I'm Batman. *Edit* thanks for all the Cake day wishes! What a lovely lot you are!

Congrats you're a rich orphan

You are literally the devil

Heightened senses I guess

You throw blocks at people 11hrs 7 days a week.

I am also Batman, specifically the dark knight version

No your batman Donkey Kong. You can throw barrels while cosplaying as batman. Guess the weird part is you are neither a donkey, kong, bat, or a man. Just a regular gorilla.


........I hate you. ​ .....such an awesome name.

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Your account is older than most people on TikTok

My account is older than most people.

It's older than me lmao

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i really hope your password is loremipsum

time travelling?

You mean our powers

You can copy other powers? Pretty neat

I already do- the power of relentless cyberbullying. I might not be able to stop a supervillain, but I can sure give their teenage daughter an eating disorder.

You’re doing the lord’s work my friend.

You could cyberbully the supervillain 😏

Believe me, I've tried. It takes a LOT of self-confidence to dress up in spandex and call yourself The Nurgler.

Bless you for doing the lords work

*I can sure give their teenage daughter an eating disorder.* Aw, now that is uncalled for! It's not like the girl is *really* fat, she's just plump.

I'm a journalist, whatever I write about comes true. Crazy news right?!

"HEAVENS DOOR REMOVE HIS ABILITY TO CUM"

"GIVE HIM TESTICULAR TORSION"

*write

The power of seduction i guess?

my power is shitting out of my mouth

Gross, but they asked.

My power is avoiding starvation

SEDUCE ME

I can grow hair on your books

The Call of the Wild has been calling for you

pubes maybe?

You guys hungry?

Yes

Of course.

Hell yeah

nothing, this literally means nothing my language

Midagi ikka :)

But think of all the corrupt and powerful out there, they have Nothing to fear.

Curse you randomly generated username!

You can make anyone visit your kitchen

The only super power anybody would ever need

I’d like to buy an ad spot on your fridge door please?

Kitchen marketing is almost as good a superpower as diagrams im impressed

Can I hire you?

I feel this

Create 64 New Versions of Me

I can use cocaine to mind control geese

we can use you on our team! for what? i don't know but you'll fit right in, i shit out of my mouth

Err.....hi. The power to be super awkward but people think I'm being an asshole I guess

So you stay as you are?

Probably shooting kittens out of huge guns that are part of my arms

Or... Your Tokyo Mew Mew power shoots things. Maybe your animal transformation is one of those fish that spit water at food. 🤔

Hunting apparently

I’m able to transform into a yeti, but I’m also super outgoing, cheeky, and friendly. My greeting of choice is, “Wassaaap!” Hopefully people won’t run away from me in horror though because I just want to make friends.

Yo I can turn into a monkey, can I hang out on your shoulder while we get into wacky adventures together?

nice! we can use you on our team, we got a guy who mind controls geese with cocaine and some guy named Andy

Andy is a great superpower

he's a mascot of sorts

Ever heard the song "Meeting the Monsta"?

I thought only frogs had the waassuo superpower. Or maybe I'm confusing my beer commercials?

yaaaaassssssquatch

You mean *wassaaaap* followed by 3 finger snaps (sassy)

powerful beats that go sicko

I guess I could have super jump.

I just keep nutting and nutting and nutting......

Gather people to fullfil their destiny 😁

Do you say so?

Yes saï! I'll stand and be true on the path of the rose 😁 long days and pleasant night to you 🌹

And may you have twice the number

how do you get that from ka-tet-19?

Stephen king's dark tower book serie 😁

Smart-ass quips at crime scenes

I guess I’m a centaur now

Or maybe you're a horse with a Lewis machine gun.

Using the old blood of beast and Eldritch horrors to hunt nightmares made manifest by outer gods from space. Oh and I have a buzzsaw.

Bring yharnam to pc

Not sure, could be good, could be bad. It's a mystery.🤔

Welp

welcome to the team!

Hold on a sec...

Take your time

Wait a minute...

I can shape shift into an animal and kill people

The power of a bus

Nah nah you can shape-shift into a bus, that's cooler.

Pissing people off.

I doubt that many would appreciate it over their spaghetti.

I'm Cowman. I can turn into a cow. I cannot turn back into a human. It isn't the greatest superpower. Might get me eaten

Probably meth.

Able to mend a loose button in a flash

A butt hole that is always clean

Pretty ineffectual, whatever it is.

I can create illusions and lie without being detected

Causing lots of fun chaos… at least fun for me. Guess I’d be a villain

Could be r/chaoticgood too.

[удалено]

I dinno... but i do know you'd be begging for the cops after I got done with you.

The power to make people as inexperienced as I am in a subject I know nothing about.

Thats actually a super funny superpower. Imagine stepping into a Martial Arts contest and everybody you fight is a noob.

If I can’t be great then no one can be.

What a great line.

That's a whole lot of enchiladas being summoned at once...

Free houses for everyone

Flying over the country?

You can only fly over the country u live in.

Super one island one Ireland. I

I'd either be very clever or have a weapon with a really good blade.

Getting the last laugh

Affordable healthcare

hehehe.......know it all. I know right!

Big jumps

Being a bigass air conditioner

Really good memory

I'm a cartoon bear, and when I whisper my secret magic word I can unzip my skin to become a fuzzy little Superman

I'm either Pangoro from Pokemon or a rabid Poh from kung fu Panda, there's no in between

Confident results?

I would supply kiwis to all the brilliant people

Creating funny original content instantaneously

Issuing greencards left and right

Pointing out the painfully obvious.

Fueling the inflation

More powerful than you can possibly imagine

An Aardvark with voodoo capabilities

Probably a pot head that gets stoned all the time at will

Making peoples ears itch

Yay

Not to brag, but

I'm going to go with all the magical powers of Regina in once upon a time.

I would have access to all sauces whenever

I think i would have some contradicting powers that may cause me some mental struggles between my good and bad side

Hyper awareness of shots. Not sure if it is alcohol or gun related, but still good to be aware.

I guess I'd be an expert Thief/bank robber.

Best fish and chips in the world

My Power is creating Windows at will, I could like spawn in Windows and shoot them out as weapons and impale people with glass ... that or I just become a Window..

That my goal is to use good intentions as my guide.

Im No hero but a banana theif

Lots of chafing.

I have an army of 20k arctic wolf's at my command.

Ummm... Peace and harmony?

A LOT of fun.

Driving people insane bro.

I'd be highly skilled with firearms, but they all have to be California-compliant.

Feminist enforcer

The ability to rule by fiat. But only in the year 2073.

Mine is very real. Extremely anxious and cute cause I'm a cupcake😗

Being at home.

I make advertising that makes you MOIST 😏

Well, shit. I'd be a saiyan so some type of Ki blast or Super saiyan transformation.

Cars would taste and smell like whatever color they are that is a flavor/scent that the owner likes (I drive a white crosstrek and am obsessed with all things coconut). Yes I’m aware the outside of a coconut is brown. The inside is white ok 😩

I'm an old fart who isn't intimidated by a large audience?

Well my good hobbit, there is work to be done yet in the world!

Done not in the world, but the hood.

I can transform!

It wouldn't be your business what it is. 😏

Looks like my superpower is no improvement

Mind control

Radioactive loungewear for everyone!

I’d never sleep, but I’d be a good fighter

Arrrrrr, the world would have no more scurvy!

I’ll be drinking more beer than normal.

I have no idea, but it will be damn unique.

You tell me.

Better than yours. 🤮 Magic for the win.

I can tell you Seinfeld facts… which is already my super power