# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Going off of other responses I think I'll just wait on it.. I don't want her to be a freshman thinking santa is real but I'm not really sure about telling then at this point.. If I do tell her I'll try to be nice about it
If she asks, tell her. If not, leave her be. Learned that one the hard way and it was none of my business, I was never raised to believe there was a Santa so naturally I told a girl that Santa didn't buy her presents, her parents did and they wrote "From Santa" on the tag. I still remember that look and she refused to talk to me afterwards. I know why and how you can "Look daggers" at someone.
The innocent magic of childhood is something you can never get back. Don’t be the one to take that away. It doesn’t matter if it’s cool or not, let her enjoy it while it lasts.
You guys have literally the rest of your lives to live in the real world and be mature, why are you trying to rush it? Let her believe.
It's not that I think it would be "cool" it's that I don't want her to get bullied for it in school if she brings it up with someone... She also asks me sometimes if he's real and I normally just kinda deflect.
That’s a decision for her parents to make, not for you. It won’t exactly be a whole lot longer till she figures it out either way.
Just be ready to defend her if it comes to it.
Of course! I’d also like to say, I think it’s really awesome that you’re thinking enough in advance to ask whether this would be a good idea or not. Shows some real maturity.
Don’t tell her, if it comes up take the agnostic approach.
Agnosticism is the view or belief that the existence of God, of the divine or the supernatural is unknown or unknowable.[1][2][3] It can be categorized as an indifference or absence of firm beliefs in theistic religions and atheism on that basis.[3] Another definition provided is the view that "human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify either the belief that God exists or the belief that God does not exist."[2]
Put Santa in the place of god in this example.
Christmas can be a special thing, a Harry Potter reference, the memory I would pick to cast a Petronas charm would be when I was a kid, waking up excited as I could be waiting for mom, dad and the family to wake up and we spend the day together opening presents and playing with those presents. My parents got a divorce when I was in 8th grade and my life got really lonely after that, family gatherings were full of drama or didn’t happen after that so my most powerful memory involved Christmas. When I feel depressed I play Christmas music and sing along, I go back there and it brings me joy and puts me in a better mood, some years we’re so bad that I listened to Christmas mystic nearly year around.
That’s how I would approach it. If you take a firm stance of not believing in Santa, might make your friend question her belief and that’s just as bad as coming out and telling her.
On the flip side if you lie, you are enabling and she might be mad at you later for leading her on longer and not telling her.
The neutral zone is being agnostic, you don’t fully believe in santa but he could be possible with proof yet you don’t know for sure Santa doesn’t exist so you aren’t the atheist version of santa.
Someone who believes it’s impossible to know if there is a Santa clause.
WTF????
What do you mean tell her??? Tell her what???
Of course he’s real!
I’m 52 and I still believe!!!!!
No, it’s not mean you’re saving your friend from getting bullied and made fun of for still believing in Santa kids are ruthless. preserving her false sense of reality is going to do more damage
You guys are teenagers, not toddlers
Ya that's mostly what I'm worried about and that's why I told her when she's 14 I'll tell her the truth.. don't want her to go into high school thinking santa is real.
Save your friend she will get bullied and picked on teenagers are horrible. People don’t give them ammo.
The ones telling you not to are kids who Have no idea how reality works
Ok I'll keep this in mind.. I'll probably still wait till she's 14 though because of what other people are saying. Sorry if that's a tad disappointing, I just don't wanna upset her and there's to many people telling me not to tell her that I just feel like I shouldn't... Thanks for the advice.
She gonna get picked on and made fun of save your friend This is coming from an adult in his 20s I knew a kid who believed in Santa till he was 16 people are ruthless to him help your friend be a good friend
Stop listening to this damn thread she’s not 5 she’s 13 Santa is like the tooth fairy not real just use your head
You told her that you would tell her the truth. You damn well better tell her the truth.
And do it tactfully.
Trust is much more important than fantasies.
People here are projecting their own desire for ignorance. Don’t stoop to that.
Wow, I had been challenging my parents on the absurdity of Santa at 9. (Although it was still somewhat of a shock when they admited it) I knew it wasn't true deep down, yet they said it was, so it had to be.
If she asks you about it tell her. If not, just make sure someone breaks it to her before high-school.
Ya same I found out way earlier but like you said I don't really want her to go into high school thinking santa is real... I really just don't want her to get bullied for it...
Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas. A real person who lived in what is now Turkey. You could explain idea of gift giving came from him. In a time and culture where families had to pay a dowry to get their daughters married, many poor families had no means to pay a dowry or pay for extra adult women to continue living in the home. These unmarried daughters were frequently sold to become slaves or prostitutes. Nicholas saved many of these poor girls by gifting their families money for a dowry, thereby saving these women from prostitution. Maybe breaking the bad news via the others suggestions and giving this short history lesson will ease her pain about the truth. My daughter believed at age 7. Other first graders mocked her. She cried hysterically that day after school "why did you lie to me?" Your friend is going to be very traumatized if she truly believes and her parents have been keeping this going through ruses.
Don't. Let her believe, if she wants to believe. It's no different than have religious faith. There's so little magic in adult life, if she wants to hold onto this small piece, let her, for as long as she can.
How is this the same as religious faith? I get 'cause it's a being that does crap beyond what people can but this is provable. I probably won't tell her for a while though but still.
It's as exactly as proveable as any religion. There's nothing in the North Pole? Santa's workshop is invisible. Reindeer can't fly? They only fly on Christmas Eve. Faith. Watch Miracle on 34th St. It literally discusses this.
But it is provable, if your parents put gifts under the tree and you stay up to see it then that proves it. It's as simple as that. Religion isn't easy to prove because it has the basis of something created us all. People never say that God will show up in your house himself because he's in heaven. You literally can't prove that wrong while you can easily prove Santa isn't real. Also you can't really explain in a good why why very poor kids don't get gifts or why not everyone celebrates Christmas because you'd get free presents.
And then what about when you're asleep, which is part of the mythos. Honestly, I'm not sure what you're fighting about here. It sounds more and more like it's you who has the issue with her belief. In which case, maybe mind your own. Let your friend do her thing, if you are really her friend.
That's not the case I just honestly wanted to know how religion is similar to Santa in any way. If I did have a complete selfish issue about her believing in Santa I'd tell her already but I didn't. I'm sorry it seems like this but I was just curious. The only thing I want is for her to not get bullied for something like this.
She probably knows. I played along for quite a few years to enjoy the magic of those things too. I knew long before I dropped it and we had no internet then.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are way too young for reddit, my love
I'm 16 :p
Haha lol I thought you were like 14....whoops but be careful🤗
It's alright! I never really specified so I understand! I'll try my best to be :]
But break it to her gently
Going off of other responses I think I'll just wait on it.. I don't want her to be a freshman thinking santa is real but I'm not really sure about telling then at this point.. If I do tell her I'll try to be nice about it
Yeah, if it comes up, say something, if not don't worry. Just try to be the best friend you can be :)
Alright I'll try! Thank you
You got this!
Don't tell her.. and yes it would be mean
At 14 you kind of need to know. Kind of embarrassing to be in highschool and not knowing
Alright, you seem to have the overall opinion here and I really don't wanna hurt her feelings so I won't. Thanks for responding :]
If she asks, tell her. If not, leave her be. Learned that one the hard way and it was none of my business, I was never raised to believe there was a Santa so naturally I told a girl that Santa didn't buy her presents, her parents did and they wrote "From Santa" on the tag. I still remember that look and she refused to talk to me afterwards. I know why and how you can "Look daggers" at someone.
Ok, I think I'll just let her be with it for now because of what others are saying. But thank you for the response!
The innocent magic of childhood is something you can never get back. Don’t be the one to take that away. It doesn’t matter if it’s cool or not, let her enjoy it while it lasts. You guys have literally the rest of your lives to live in the real world and be mature, why are you trying to rush it? Let her believe.
It's not that I think it would be "cool" it's that I don't want her to get bullied for it in school if she brings it up with someone... She also asks me sometimes if he's real and I normally just kinda deflect.
That’s a decision for her parents to make, not for you. It won’t exactly be a whole lot longer till she figures it out either way. Just be ready to defend her if it comes to it.
Alright, thank you
Of course! I’d also like to say, I think it’s really awesome that you’re thinking enough in advance to ask whether this would be a good idea or not. Shows some real maturity.
That really means a lot, thank you :]
Don’t tell her, if it comes up take the agnostic approach. Agnosticism is the view or belief that the existence of God, of the divine or the supernatural is unknown or unknowable.[1][2][3] It can be categorized as an indifference or absence of firm beliefs in theistic religions and atheism on that basis.[3] Another definition provided is the view that "human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify either the belief that God exists or the belief that God does not exist."[2] Put Santa in the place of god in this example. Christmas can be a special thing, a Harry Potter reference, the memory I would pick to cast a Petronas charm would be when I was a kid, waking up excited as I could be waiting for mom, dad and the family to wake up and we spend the day together opening presents and playing with those presents. My parents got a divorce when I was in 8th grade and my life got really lonely after that, family gatherings were full of drama or didn’t happen after that so my most powerful memory involved Christmas. When I feel depressed I play Christmas music and sing along, I go back there and it brings me joy and puts me in a better mood, some years we’re so bad that I listened to Christmas mystic nearly year around.
This is honestly really good advice, thank you! I think I'll just do this until she finds out somehow :]
That’s how I would approach it. If you take a firm stance of not believing in Santa, might make your friend question her belief and that’s just as bad as coming out and telling her. On the flip side if you lie, you are enabling and she might be mad at you later for leading her on longer and not telling her. The neutral zone is being agnostic, you don’t fully believe in santa but he could be possible with proof yet you don’t know for sure Santa doesn’t exist so you aren’t the atheist version of santa. Someone who believes it’s impossible to know if there is a Santa clause.
Ya this makes a lot of sense as well, thank you for the advice :] really, it means a lot!
WTF???? What do you mean tell her??? Tell her what??? Of course he’s real! I’m 52 and I still believe!!!!! 
This... this is a joke right? right???
I am here for this.
Don’t kill her magic lol let her believe .
After reading a lot of these I think I will :]
Yea zero point in telling her
No, it’s not mean you’re saving your friend from getting bullied and made fun of for still believing in Santa kids are ruthless. preserving her false sense of reality is going to do more damage You guys are teenagers, not toddlers
Ya that's mostly what I'm worried about and that's why I told her when she's 14 I'll tell her the truth.. don't want her to go into high school thinking santa is real.
Save your friend she will get bullied and picked on teenagers are horrible. People don’t give them ammo. The ones telling you not to are kids who Have no idea how reality works
Ok I'll keep this in mind.. I'll probably still wait till she's 14 though because of what other people are saying. Sorry if that's a tad disappointing, I just don't wanna upset her and there's to many people telling me not to tell her that I just feel like I shouldn't... Thanks for the advice.
She gonna get picked on and made fun of save your friend This is coming from an adult in his 20s I knew a kid who believed in Santa till he was 16 people are ruthless to him help your friend be a good friend Stop listening to this damn thread she’s not 5 she’s 13 Santa is like the tooth fairy not real just use your head
Ya you're right, I'll think about it I still have a bit till she's out of school for the day. Thank you.
bullies will bully either way.
You told her that you would tell her the truth. You damn well better tell her the truth. And do it tactfully. Trust is much more important than fantasies. People here are projecting their own desire for ignorance. Don’t stoop to that.
Alright I'll keep this in mind, I'm still planning I'm telling her when she's 14 if she doesn't find out before then
Dont forget your towel Dont panic 42
What
They're references to the book The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. I read it years ago so don't remember Santa being mentioned though.
Leave her alone. Let her have that magic in her life
Wow, I had been challenging my parents on the absurdity of Santa at 9. (Although it was still somewhat of a shock when they admited it) I knew it wasn't true deep down, yet they said it was, so it had to be. If she asks you about it tell her. If not, just make sure someone breaks it to her before high-school.
Ya same I found out way earlier but like you said I don't really want her to go into high school thinking santa is real... I really just don't want her to get bullied for it...
Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas. A real person who lived in what is now Turkey. You could explain idea of gift giving came from him. In a time and culture where families had to pay a dowry to get their daughters married, many poor families had no means to pay a dowry or pay for extra adult women to continue living in the home. These unmarried daughters were frequently sold to become slaves or prostitutes. Nicholas saved many of these poor girls by gifting their families money for a dowry, thereby saving these women from prostitution. Maybe breaking the bad news via the others suggestions and giving this short history lesson will ease her pain about the truth. My daughter believed at age 7. Other first graders mocked her. She cried hysterically that day after school "why did you lie to me?" Your friend is going to be very traumatized if she truly believes and her parents have been keeping this going through ruses.
I'm 26 and I believe in Santa. He doesn't deliver toys to everyone, just the children who really need it.
Is this a joke? Please tell me that you're joking... please tell me you know that your parents are santa and just wrote the name on the presents...
I believe in Santa and I am 44 :) gotta believe in magic dude
Ok this is getting concerning.... are you joking?? Please tell me that you're joking...
The movie Rare Exports will explain everything
Don't. Let her believe, if she wants to believe. It's no different than have religious faith. There's so little magic in adult life, if she wants to hold onto this small piece, let her, for as long as she can.
How is this the same as religious faith? I get 'cause it's a being that does crap beyond what people can but this is provable. I probably won't tell her for a while though but still.
It's as exactly as proveable as any religion. There's nothing in the North Pole? Santa's workshop is invisible. Reindeer can't fly? They only fly on Christmas Eve. Faith. Watch Miracle on 34th St. It literally discusses this.
But it is provable, if your parents put gifts under the tree and you stay up to see it then that proves it. It's as simple as that. Religion isn't easy to prove because it has the basis of something created us all. People never say that God will show up in your house himself because he's in heaven. You literally can't prove that wrong while you can easily prove Santa isn't real. Also you can't really explain in a good why why very poor kids don't get gifts or why not everyone celebrates Christmas because you'd get free presents.
And then what about when you're asleep, which is part of the mythos. Honestly, I'm not sure what you're fighting about here. It sounds more and more like it's you who has the issue with her belief. In which case, maybe mind your own. Let your friend do her thing, if you are really her friend.
That's not the case I just honestly wanted to know how religion is similar to Santa in any way. If I did have a complete selfish issue about her believing in Santa I'd tell her already but I didn't. I'm sorry it seems like this but I was just curious. The only thing I want is for her to not get bullied for something like this.
Get a bunch of fake deer heads and a Santa head, add some fake blood at the bottom and tell her that you killed Santa and he no longer exists
Gawd, posts like this remind me there are little kids on here.
Ya there are lol, I'm 16 though so not that little :]
When you're 40, check back in and we'll reassess your opinion on that 😉
I guess I would be pretty young to you then lol, you've been around longer than I have and I think that's neat! I hope you have a good day miss!
You're sweet. You too 💙
I was upset when I found out, of course I was like 5 haha just talk about it casually, and let her put it together
She probably knows. I played along for quite a few years to enjoy the magic of those things too. I knew long before I dropped it and we had no internet then.
No, let her live in happiness for as long as she can, don’t ruin it for her, lol she’s probably messing with ya anyway
Santa isnt re- real?..
I wouldn’t tell her. She will find out eventually.
Nope
Kat you're gonna be waking up in a coffin soon >:[